I Act Happy Around People But Im Not

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,440 People

    like walking in a thick dense fog.

    ..thick haze that no one can see, but you can...... Smiling that fake smile to hide what really lies behind this face, pretending I am okay...when inside a hard storm of unhappiness brews, pain, discontent...... Needing to be around people once and a while so you do not lose...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Jan 5, 2015

    Yeah

    I always have and i always will live behind my masks. I can no longer allow friends and family in real life to see my depression it scares them too much. A little over a year ago i did something incredibly stupid and tried to commit suicide and i hurt and scared everyone who...
    ihaveanameitsrick ihaveanameitsrick
    46-50, M
    3 Responses Jan 25, 2009

    I am happy... But i am not.

    .... Hahaha.. Happy coz of all the good people around me. Happy coz im dreaming. Happy coz im living.... Not happy coz there are people that will make me sad. Coz im wanting more.. Coz im expecting more.. More that will be enough for me and my family... Still on rease for...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Jan 28, 2015

    Colleagues

    work related .. anything i do rong that they can pick at they do .. even if its sumthing they cant pick at they do .. erg .. actualyl in my current tired state i wont stop myself from expressing that i hate them .. not al of em .. jus teh nasty bully ones .. crazy thing is if...
    cdwishimatgurlCalandraBelle cdwishimatgurlCalandraBelle
    36-40, T
    Sep 18, 2007

    I was taught that I'm not allowed to express

    negative emotions. So i bottle them up. I cover them by wearing a mask. It sucks. And it hurts. But it's all i know.
    xgearsofsteelx xgearsofsteelx
    26-30, F
    5 Responses Mar 29, 2014

    Friends.

    Hi, I am a 14 year old girl. I act happy but the same thoughts over an over again spin around in my head. I had a boyfriend and after we broke up everything started to go down hill. He started making up lies and horrible things about me. They attackedy current boyfriend and he...
    katie123457 katie123457
    16-17
    1 Response Jul 19, 2013

    Alone

    I am severely depressed and suffering from PTSD... I've recently lost my baby 3 months ago (stillbirth) and my husband doesn't care I'm dealing with this illness, I told him i don't want to live and he didn't take that as a cry for help. I don't want to be around my kids anymore...
    umakemehappy umakemehappy
    36-40, F
    1 Response Sep 30, 2013

    The Mask

    this is one of my favorite poems, written by Paul Lawrence Dunbar. We wear the mask that grins and lies, It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes-- This debt we pay to human guile, With torn and bleeding hearts we smile, And mouth with myriad subtleties. why should the...
    SunnyKris SunnyKris
    26-30, F
    1 Response Sep 30, 2007

    Hey It's been Long since I've been on EP very

    long!! I'm glad to be back!!
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Mar 21, 2015

    Jut have to go through the fake smiles phases

    everyday, down deep inside me I just wish I wasn't there. I kinda died long ago and all this life thing is a total waste of my time.
    lonelypeople lonelypeople
    26-30, M
    Feb 10

    Day in and day out I know this act all to well

    I've became skilled at hiding how I feel I can't really let anyone because they will just try an hurt me it seems like so I just fake a smile whenever Im asked if I'm happy and yes even though I'm severely pissed on the inside
    Cgr1 Cgr1
    22-25
    Jun 2, 2014

    It Was...

    It was every day... I could not share my feelings with my family, especially. They didn't want to hear it. I had to be tough or be sent to my room, or ridiculed. That was how it was.
    drcynic drcynic
    26-30, M
    3 Responses Nov 2, 2007

    Just another day to come home to no one.

    I want to share my day with someone. It's been over a year sence I could share my day with a girl.
    hammercj hammercj
    26-30, M
    May 27, 2014

    I'm A Good Actress...able To Hide How I "truly" Feel...

    Most people would look at me and probably describe me as a happy go lucky, optimistic person that never seems to be upset or sad. I can assure you I'm hardly that, but I've grown so accustomed to putting on this happy act that I've forgotten how to be anything but...at least in...
    xBnThrRckedThtx xBnThrRckedThtx
    22-25, F
    1 Response Jun 10, 2010

    People Think I Am Silly, Goofy & Happy But I Am Extremely Depressed

    I act soo nice, happy and sweet. I am a cashier and people love me because I have a positive attitude but inside I am not happy at all. I have been diagnosed with depression but because I am not on my mom's health insurance anymore I can no longer see my psychologist and I can...
    depresseddanii depresseddanii
    18-21
    3 Responses Nov 14, 2010

    My problem is that I keep getting better at

    hiding my emotions around other people and say im ok when im not and wont tell them if I don't have to
    wolfy299 wolfy299
    16-17, M
    1 Response Jun 25, 2015

    Am I Happy?

    So when I'm with other people I act all bubbly and happy. I make others happy and I feel better about myself. It makes me wonder if I'm truly happy or do I just like make others happy. I know I have happy moment by myself. Like I'll receive a cute message from my boyfriend and...
    KMLogue KMLogue
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Aug 31, 2013

    It's How I Was Taught

    I was always taught to always act happy no matter how I feel mentally. Especially around family. I was taught that no one really cares how I feel so always act happy. Every thing is always peachy-keen even if my world is crumbling. Anything else is being rude and inconsiderate to...
    DietIcedTea DietIcedTea
    36-40, F
    3 Responses May 7, 2009

    Im as happy as I act.

    .... ( note "act" )
    cashetty69 cashetty69
    51-55, M
    Nov 14, 2015

    I fake my happiness,

    so ppl will leave me alone. Sometimes it feels like ppl try to act like they are there but but they never are they a ppl always have an excuse not to be around me. so I learned to fake out over time. just so the rejection or the feeling of abandonment isn't there... ugh
    Curieln Curieln
    31-35, M
    Mar 24, 2015

    I act happy but in reality I'm just observing.

    I see who's real who's fake who can I trust who can't I trust and the results are almost always unsatisfying. I dislike people. Very much
    ADeepPerspective ADeepPerspective
    22-25, F
    3 Responses Dec 23, 2013

    My truth...

    "You're always so happy Lanie, I don't understand no one can be that happy, it worries me! Is there anything you want to talk about?" I laugh or smile... (I just broke up with my first love, my parents want a divorce and are driving me crazy, cause they...
    LadySoulist LadySoulist
    22-25, F
    1 Response Oct 3, 2007

    Confession of the day,

    when people ask if I've been crying, I tell them I'm just high or have allergies :(
    SadKittenOnLine SadKittenOnLine
    22-25, F
    1 Response Jan 23, 2014

    Sometimes, I just really don't want my friends

    to worry about me, so when I get hurt, either physically or emotionally, I always fake my feelings and paste a smile on my face. It feels fake, it feels like I'm fake, but I don't want to be fake. But, however, I also don't want my friends to worry about me. Whenever they see me...
    TheHetalianPewdiepieNerd TheHetalianPewdiepieNerd
    31-35, F
    Mar 20, 2014

    I'm scared that if my friends knew what was

    going on, they'd either abandon me or they'd worry about me all the time, neither of which are outcomes I want.
    Musicmaniac14 Musicmaniac14
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Nov 14, 2015

    I think a lot of people do,

    I guess don't judge a book by it's cover. But we are all still awesome
    Bryona Bryona
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Mar 24, 2015

    i feel angry, pessimistic

    and i have a problem holding grudges from the past i recognized this to myself in order to find a way to heal somehow some day this an everyday struggle and i don't know what side of myself could win the battle!
    kinskibu kinskibu
    31-35
    1 Response Feb 19

    So True

    I act happy to make other people happy, i act happy so the police or medical "professionals" won't have me locked up again. The truth is i find absolutely nothing in life to be happy about, my personal life is completely ****** up, i have NO social life to speak of, i have no...
    ihaveanameitsrick ihaveanameitsrick
    46-50, M
    3 Responses Oct 22, 2012

    At Work

        i act happy and cheerful at work when i am not with the customers .
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Dec 6, 2009

    Family

    I've allways had to be the rock for my family, as a teen I had to take care and cook for two younger sisters and my father. I grew to be the one everyone comes to with problems. I'm no saint but I realized that my place in life was to be what I am, the one everyone talks to but...
    Deereman Deereman
    22-25, M
    1 Response Oct 18, 2013

    I laugh at their jokes,

    sure... but if they pay attention, they'll see the bitterness in my eyes
    MrAwesomeKyle MrAwesomeKyle
    18-21, M
    Jan 30, 2014

    Nobody really understands

    that I'm not happy. I may not act like it but when i'm alone I just curl up into a ball and cry. I hate my life so much and worst of it all I have no one to talk to and it sucks..
    olivia2296 olivia2296
    18-21, F
    1 Response Mar 24, 2015

    I feel like I have to be fake

    and pretend around everyone in my life. I don't want to upset my parents or scare away my boyfriend. I'm super quiet because I never feel like I have anything to say or like no one really cares what I have to say and just thinks I'm incredibly annoying. I also hardly ever have...
    SadKittenOnLine SadKittenOnLine
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Jan 22, 2014

    I'm not happy. I can't keep pretending to be

    something I'm not. It's taking everything in me..๐Ÿ’”๐Ÿ’”๐Ÿ’”๐Ÿ’”
    Kayleehere Kayleehere
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Feb 21, 2015

    Different

    Hi, I'm a girl, 14 this year. Every one of my peers all carry themselves with confidence, etc. It might have been my upbringing and how I was put down every single day, but I, for one, have major security issues. I can't even smile properly for I think my smile is ugly. I can't...
    ijustwannabemyself ijustwannabemyself
    16-17, F
    5 Responses Jul 19, 2013

    i act happy in front of people

    but in real im not because with whom should i share my feelings they are nobody if i want to share my feelings with my friends they say that have faith in god,now tell me what should i do,even my parents never understand me so i have to put a fake smile on my face so i hope...
    Roadguy Roadguy
    26-30, M
    Feb 13, 2014

    Been Thinking (never A Good Idea)

    i've been contemplating the meaning of "life". not in the context of "the meaning of life" but the meaning of the word "life". to me "life" means living, living means enjoying the life you live. my doctor told me a while back that if i didn't change my life then i will die...
    ihaveanameitsrick ihaveanameitsrick
    46-50, M
    12 Responses Mar 13, 2010

    Scared

    Im Little miss sunshine in public, i smile to hide the pain. I don't want to sit there and explain why im upset looking, so i tAke the easy way out and pretend that everything is fine and dandy. Seeing a therapist is the first step, but there's my second flaw... i can't work...
    sandkal sandkal
    26-30, F
    1 Response Sep 30, 2013

    I Put On A Brave Face But Want To Cry ..

    last year i had a gruop of friends a great bunch loved them all to bits but then one of them my so called best freind got into a fight with me of course and we stoped ย talking and the rest of them took her side and kicked my out of the gruop , with out hearing my side , now this...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Jan 1, 2011

    I Need People More Than They Think

    around people im happy, im the center of attention, i can make people laugh and have fun. Im so good that sometimes people dont want me to leave when im supposed to leave. Little do they know that i wouldnt ever be alone if i could help it. when im alone i feel like a loser, like...
    jujo6021 jujo6021
    16-17
    2 Responses Mar 30, 2011

    This DEFINED how I was

    for 2 years of my life!! No one knew I was depressed. Not even my family. I honestly think that hurt me more. Feeling I couldn't tell my family why I was so depressed....wondering what they would say or do in reaction to what I told them. Looking back on it....I should have...
    MuseGrl4 MuseGrl4
    22-25, F
    Mar 30, 2014

    Social situations are often overwhelming.

    ..in large groups, anyway. Life can sometimes be like that with Asperger Syndrome, though...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Jan 29, 2015

    I just put on that brave face

    so people don't know I'm secretly depressed inside...
    Rebecca12K Rebecca12K
    18-21, F
    1 Response Mar 30, 2014
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