I Always Think About Sucide

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 514 People

    I'm thinking about it right now.

    .. someone told me to kill myself today. but it wasn't like "oh go kill yourself" it was more like "oh you think you're so smart and so pretty (which I don't or else I wouldn't self harm), people like you deserve to die, you should really kill yourself. you can do it right now in...
    jayissosadlike jayissosadlike
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Feb 18, 2015

    To be completely honest ever

    since I started falling for my best friend last year I've been suicidal or depressed. I'm sure he still hasn't caught on to my suicidal thoughts. It's just hard cause the only person I feel I can talk to is him, but it's not like I can talk to him about this. I just really...
    Connorhelquist Connorhelquist
    18-21, M
    6 Responses Sep 17, 2014

    I often think that I just want to go to sleep

    and not wake up. I just don't see any reason to go on living. I see no happiness in my life, nothing to look forward to. I have tried suicide once and came really close to trying it a second time> I don't want to commit suicide. I just want to go to sleep and not wake up.
    HalfwaybtwnHeavenandHell HalfwaybtwnHeavenandHell
    46-50, F
    May 8, 2014

    Whenever in spacing out

    or have a little time to think. Suicide would always come through my mind. Like what would happen if i really did it. How would other people react? But i feel like if i actually did it i would disappoint them so much and they would hurt so badly... And that might be the only...
    appetanc3 appetanc3
    16-17, F
    1 Response Feb 19, 2015

    In order to accomplish this I am planning to

    travel to SouthAmerica in April... Btw, my method is sodium pentobarbital ( aka Nembutal ) and I know where it can be found there ... I am 47 years old male ... If you want we can discuss further... you can directly contact me at mybygone(at)gmail(dot)com.. Is there any company...
    mybygone mybygone
    46-50, M
    1 Response Mar 4, 2015

    Oh Sucide

    Sucide It controls my head Sucide You control my heart Sucide You control my breathing Sucide running around and around Leaving darkness Pain And missery with every breath you take With every breath i take.. Sucide Hands me my pills Sucide Is what makes the marks...
    iloveyou2014 iloveyou2014
    22-25, F
    1 Response Feb 15, 2013

    4 The Reason I Wanted to Die --  5 The

    Reason I'm Alive -- There is a reason you exist . . .  The day Lacey Sturm planned to kill herself was the day her old life ended. As an atheist who hated Christians, she thought church was a place for hypocrites, fakers, and simpletons. After a screaming...
    Heavenbound5511 Heavenbound5511
    36-40, F
    2 Responses Sep 18, 2014

    My mom literally just cussed me out hardcore

    cause I didn't want to try any of her weird crunchy rice s***, thanks mom you just made my decision of attempting sucide, but not actually killing myself a whole lot easier, I was going to do it while she was home but now I'm thinking not!!
    loveiggy5 loveiggy5
    22-25, F
    1 Response Aug 11, 2015

    It's weird. I'm not suicidal

    and I don't wanna die, but I just think about what it's like to be dead. Does your world just turn into a void that continues till the end of time? Or is there a afterlife waiting for me somewhere above?
    rockinsox22 rockinsox22
    70+, F
    Mar 13, 2016

    I hate my life. Sometimes dying would be

    so easy. I can't stand living here anymore. I'm done trying. I'm sorry
    oliviairene47 oliviairene47
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Apr 29, 2014

    I have always had very vivid lucid dreams.

    Last night I dreamt I was climbing up a tower. The wind was really picking up and I wished I had pinned my bangs back. I got to the very top... then let go. It felt so good, I haven't felt that happy in years. When I hit the ground it woke me up. When I realized it was just a...
    ultralord9000 ultralord9000
    26-30, F
    Mar 19, 2015

    I never thought about doing it

    but I think about it a lot. I'm not depressed just sad but I'm not going to end my life. Why? I don't know I never felt like it. If I did I would have by now.
    Anaihsohs Anaihsohs
    22-25, F
    1 Response Dec 27, 2013

    I do, when I get upset,

    it invades my thoughts. of course I lack real courage to carry out the act, it invades my thoughts way to often
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Aug 13, 2015

    I really do ... ;( i always think suicide is

    the best solution of all my problems that ive been thru .
    Ddghhtddghyg Ddghhtddghyg
    22-25, F
    3 Responses Sep 18, 2014

    Demons and Mental Illness: Are you a cutter

    or considering suicide? My experiences and a prayer * * There are several of examples of people in the Bible who were afflicted with demons. There are instances where the lame walked and the deaf could hear after Christ cast the demons out of them. There is even a...
    Heavenbound5511 Heavenbound5511
    36-40, F
    2 Responses Aug 7, 2014

    I think it's time. I miss my cat

    and want to see her again. I want the pain to stop.
    terribletony terribletony
    51-55, M
    1 Response Mar 9, 2016

    I dont know where to turn everyone thinks I'm

    stupid. I cry everytime I look in the mirror because I feel fat and and i look fat . I always think about sucide because of people calling me fat and thinking im un attractive. I just want to be skinny and beautiful. As some people say to me "no wonder boyfriend cheated on you...
    Aleexo96 Aleexo96
    18-21, F
    6 Responses Jun 16, 2014

    It's always on my mind,

    I think that if I just end it it's over forever. It can't be undone, but I fear death. What if I can't go on though, I know I'm a fighter but, I can't keep fighting with only two people fighting with me. I need someone else someone who's not a teenager, but he doesn't care. I...
    nomnommings nomnommings
    18-21, F
    1 Response Feb 18, 2015

    Suicidal Jewish Girl to Orthodox Jew to

    Believer of Jesus! Many Jews come to Jesus! ~ From It's Super Natural - Ayelet Steckbeck was born Jewish family in Israel but she was not religious. After army service, she became so suicidal. At the time she was thinking about killing herself, she saw the Father God crying...
    Heavenbound5511 Heavenbound5511
    36-40, F
    1 Response Sep 1, 2014

    I've been planning to OD the day has been set,

    the goal isn't to kill myself just to have people listen and care about me, I'm planning on telling a couple of close friends before I do it partly so I don't chicken out, I'm not going to tell my family though, their the reason why I'm doing it
    loveiggy5 loveiggy5
    22-25, F
    Aug 11, 2015

    I tell the doctor how I feel

    and he tell me that he thinks it's "incredibly selfish", I can't do that to my family. Oh, you want selfish? How about my mother who, when I told her I would not be returning to love in her home because I thought it would be best for me to live elsewhere, repeatedly tries to...
    RandomInkFlow RandomInkFlow
    18-21, T
    1 Response Aug 10, 2015

    Yes up in the clouds is

    where I want to be. This world is cruel and I want to die every day. The abuse is too much :( I cry when alone, no one hears me :(
    krystalkool84 krystalkool84
    31-35, F
    3 Responses Feb 18, 2015

    I took a shower last night

    and I started to cut again. I didn't cut deep but just enough to get my mind off everything and you could barely see it. All night last night I was so depressed, I overdosed and started having anxiety attacks and anyone that said they would help me disappeared. I woke up the...
    daw15 daw15
    18-21, M
    Feb 25, 2015

    It's a long hard story.

    But everyday I think about suicide. Everyday I think should I just do it.. And it's not that I want to die. I want to live, I want to be free and travel, and do everything in life I have longed for. The problem is.. Im still 2 years away from being 18. I feel like everyone hates...
    endmypainn endmypainn
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Feb 25, 2015

    Not always but sometimes

    when I get really down. I even figured out how I would do it. I would drive to California as that is where I grew up. I'd go two the Newport pier late at night. IT was a pier I me and my friend used to hang out on. I am not a very good swimmer. I remember look at the...
    terribletony terribletony
    51-55, M
    2 Responses Dec 6, 2015

    Not so much anymore. Of course I still have

    those thoughts, they don't occur as much anymore. But when they come, it's hard to get through it. It stays for days/weeks sometimes. I feel lost, alone, unworthy, and dangerous.
    sleepingwithkellin sleepingwithkellin
    22-25, F
    1 Response Feb 19, 2015

    I want to die. I want to die.

    I want to die. I want to die I want to die. I just wish I was dead.
    Scaredmonster Scaredmonster
    18-21, F
    4 Responses Feb 18, 2015
    2lil2L8 2lil2L8
    26-30, F
    Feb 26, 2015

    I always do but I'm such a procrastinator.

    that's why I'm still here
    ursummerdreamz ursummerdreamz
    22-25, F
    5 Responses Feb 25, 2016

    Most days of the week I think about suicide,

    there's rarely a happy moment. I dreamed about killing myself last night, it was wonderful but brought me down so low... because other people I didn't even know were killing themselves and I woke up. The world would be better off without my awkward/negative presence to bring...
    WinterSkyout WinterSkyout
    18-21, F
    Feb 19, 2015

    Suicide is on my mind 24/7 a lot has happened

    recently and I'm at my friends house but I don't want to go home because I know I will commit
    QueenOfFire212 QueenOfFire212
    31-35, F
    3 Responses Sep 23, 2014

    A while ago I've ordered Nembutal over Internet

    and got it seized by customs ... SO that the only available option now is to travel somwhere I can find and buy Nembutal in person ... I'm planning to go to Peru ...I know where it can be found/bought there ... But I feel I need someone with me to go throgh all this ... If we...
    mybygone mybygone
    46-50, M
    Mar 12, 2015

    In order to accomplish this I am planning to

    travel to SouthAmerica at the end of March, maybe mid April and never come back... I prefer to be a "missing person" instead of a "suicide victim" ... what do you think? Btw, my method is sodium pentobarbital ( aka Nembutal ) and I know where it can be found there ... This also...
    mybygone mybygone
    46-50, M
    Feb 23, 2015

    I lost count of how many times I thought of

    doing it but I've stopped myself it's not that I couldn't it's the people I would hurt if I did.
    shanishere shanishere
    18-21, M
    2 Responses Dec 12, 2014

    The thoughts are back.

    I always decide against suicide because I don't want to hurt my family and leave any of my responsibilities behind. Part of me is disappointed I'm living my life for other people, another part of me is proud.
    metaphornographic metaphornographic
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Oct 28, 2014

    Pathetic

    I constantly have suicidal thoughts. I can't get them out of my head. I want to die, I want this pointless life to end. How can I live when I have no purpose, when life has no meaning. If I wasn't such a coward I would have ended it by now. I just want a quick death but...
    xBrickWallx xBrickWallx
    22-25, F
    3 Responses Sep 14, 2013

    i want to die I hate my life I hate myself

    everyone would be better off if I was DEAD????
    stafford158 stafford158
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Feb 18, 2015

    Always! Even on my good days it's in the back

    of my mind, scratching and clawing. I have tried to suicide 4 times in my life now. I can never envision life to a ripe old age....as a matter of fact that makes my skin crawl! On my good days, I tide the thoughts over by telling myself "we just have to make it till the baby is...
    ThistleAndWeeds ThistleAndWeeds
    36-40, F
    4 Responses Sep 18, 2014

    I have suicidal thoughts.

    I don't show it because I don't want people to know about it. Although some ppl know something wrong with me by looking at my eyes. I guess the eyes are the windows to the soul. I'm not sure who to talk to bout this, I'm a only child so sibling isn't a option. My parents are to...
    SeanDisinsky SeanDisinsky
    18-21, M
    1 Response Jan 3, 2014
    unlesslover unlesslover
    18-21, F
    1 Response Mar 7, 2015

    Considering death a lot right now.

    Don't really want to talk much about it.
    Izzy143 Izzy143
    18-21, F
    1 Response Oct 27, 2015

    I'm lonely, no one ever really cares about me

    and my one chance at love is probably gone forever, every night that I can't sleep I sit in the kitchen holding a knife to my chest crying, but I can't kill myself, I don't want to leave a world of nothing to remember me by
    2b5h 2b5h
    18-21, M
    3 Responses Feb 19, 2015
    daw15 daw15
    18-21, M
    1 Response Feb 24, 2015
    stafford158 stafford158
    18-21, F
    1 Response Feb 19, 2015

    I watch a movie or read a book.

    When someone dies I just get jealous.
    RandomInkFlow RandomInkFlow
    18-21, T
    Dec 7, 2014

    I found this app looking

    for ways to commit suicide it is on my mind all the time
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    2 Responses Feb 18, 2015

    I'm 17 and I am so lost right now,

    there's nothing I am good at, nothing I'm interested in. I just think I'm a waste of time and space. I hate everything, especially myself I wish I could cut up every single part of my body and burn it, it isn't worth existing.
    heather976 heather976
    18-21, F
    4 Responses Apr 29, 2014

    I am a 14 years old boy

    and I am going to share everything from teg core of my heart and I can list quite a few reasons for me to suicide they are: 1. My dad shouting at my every time he is near and never listening to what I want and doesn't care about what I want to do anyday . 2. my mom abusing me...
    TheLoneAnonymous TheLoneAnonymous
    16-17, M
    Feb 13, 2016
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