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I Am a Birthmother

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 267 People

    Even After 50 Years

    I am a birthmother who relinquished some 50 plus years ago. Not one son but two. I have been found and found, have been reunited with both sons who live in different states. I was a young college freshman and met a man much older than me and we started dating not openly as he...
    kamuchey kamuchey 70+, F 4 Responses Oct 3, 2009

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    Last time I wrote I talked about how the email

    address I had for the adoptive father was no longer valid. Life can sure be interesting sometimes... Ben (the adoptive father) got in touch with my parents to request that we get together. I have moved away from the area but I was actually planning visit there around that time...
    lovewarsnow lovewarsnow 26-30, F Mar 23

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    I Don't Want To Sound Like A Feminazi But

    I don't want to sound like a feminazi but I feel I should point out that women only seem stupid when you compare them with men. If you compare a woman to another woman she might seem real smart. Also, women are experts at some things. I couldn't bake a pie to save my life, nor do...
    TRUECRISTIAN TRUECRISTIAN 70+, F 4 Responses Nov 11, 2013

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    My daughter turns 13 on Sunday.

    .. I am a very lucky BM.... I get to see her still... and I actually get to see her on Sunday... I am so very excited...
    WendyBlabs WendyBlabs 36-40, F 3 Responses Mar 4

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    Alone With My Son

    My story starts almost 30 years ago when I was 16.  Just prior to completing my sophomore year in high school my parent informed me that we were moving away.  I was like, what and where?  Well it turned out that we were moving to another state entirely...
    solem62 solem62 46-50 9 Responses Apr 7, 2009

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    I was raped... St Patrick's Day

    and the only thing I know about him is that he was Jamaican. After it happened I did what I do best bury the bad memories underneath mountains of work. I went from working one job as a bank teller to working at the bank, at Payless, and overnight at a convenience store. Working...
    bellefaute bellefaute 26-30, F Dec 11, 2013

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    I just got an update

    and pictures of my son. I have been feeling so much better since the adoptive father has come back into my life. Receiving the occasional email makes all the difference. The pictures were of their summer vacation. He looked so happy and carefree. It sounds like they had a great...
    lovewarsnow lovewarsnow 26-30, F 1 Response 6 days ago

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    Is it wrong for me to love my son

    so much. To think of him every day and have a hollow spot in my heart. To be angry with the people involved in the adoption process because I was treated unfairly. I am not just some crazy bitter birth mom. I am a mother and my instinct is to protect my son. Now that...
    sweetsadness23 sweetsadness23 22-25, F 1 Response Mar 26

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    I made this Video for my son.

    I see him on Sunday and I feel as if they are only meeting me because they have to... Not sure I feel welcome anymore.feel free to watch  
    LikeADove LikeADove 18-21, F Feb 22

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    Life After Birth

    Today is my 6 year olds birthday, but all I can think about is the baby I placed for adoption 12 1/2 years ago.  It was the right decision at the time and I stand by my choice.  But I find myself wondering at times if I left a piece of my soul with that tiny infant that...
    littleredballoon littleredballoon 31-35, F 3 Responses Sep 6, 2009

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    For those who don't know my story I entered an

    open adoption that subsequently closed. Today I tried to email my son's adoptive father (his adoptive parents are divorced) to request a picture or update. . The email was sent back and it appears Ben has changed his email. I tried to google any contact information but couldn't...
    lovewarsnow lovewarsnow 26-30, F 2 Responses Jan 11

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    The Choice of Adoption

    It was a very hard one to make.  My birthson is now 14 years old.  He was placed for adoption when he was on 2 1/2.  I also have a birthdaughter who is twelve and was also placed for adoption before she was 1.  It was a really rough situation back then...
    stillsurviving stillsurviving 31-35 4 Responses Aug 26, 2008

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    Do you have any kids?

    Its such a loaded question for me these days....I feel like I am denying my son if I say no I don't, But do if I say yes, then there is the possibility that i have to detail my life for some random strangers. And placing my son for adoption is something that I really don't want...
    bellefaute bellefaute 26-30, F 5 Responses May 16

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    My Story

    It has taken me 15 years to be able to put my story on paper. I thank my wonderful husband for encouraging me to do so.  In December 1992 I was a 22 yr old almost college graduate.  I was raped during our college Christmas formal and left school 4 months shy of...
    kaisu1 kaisu1 36-40, F 2 Responses Jan 18, 2010

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    I gave up my son for adoption

    because I was told by my mother that she would kick me out pregnant. I chose adoption to survive and because abortion in my family is a sin. I was left and abandoned by my family. I was called an unfit mother and judged by everyone. I was unprepared by there was a love so deep...
    sweetsadness812 sweetsadness812 22-25, F 2 Responses Jan 25

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    I was young when my girls (then 2,

    11.5 months) were placed in foster care and placed up for adoption. It has been 15 years since I have physically seen my girls. I recently have received letters as well as photos from them and the woman that raised them.. I am nervous about the possibility of seeing them. It is...
    tkb014 tkb014 31-35, F 1 Response May 24

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    13 Years Later....

    I was standing in the shower rubbing my stomach telling the little thing growing inside me I was sorry. Sorry for what I was about to do. Sorry for not giving it the chance to live. I made it to my appointment with a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach was I really going to...
    KatieGlatt KatieGlatt 31-35, F 4 Responses Sep 30, 2013

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    We Should Have Rights Too

      13 years ago I gave birth to a beautiful little boy. I kept him for a few months but seeing as I was only one month shy of being 20 years old, jobless, and in no position to raise a child, not to mention he was born sick, and his father had been killed in a car accident...
    hopetohelp hopetohelp 31-35, F 7 Responses Feb 9, 2009

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    I was 18 when I had my daughter with a younger

    boy. I kept her for 7 months and I just couldn't do it on my own even with my parents help. I felt guilty for not providing her with a family with 2 parents. I loved her enough to give her what she needed. I didn't give her up I gave her more! She is now a beautiful 21 year...
    freston freston 36-40, F 3 Responses May 8

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    I was raped walking home alone from a friends

    one night , I told myself I could forget what happened but four months later I found out I was four months pregnant. My life felt like it was ending, I had nowhere to run. I knew I did not wan't this baby I just never knew it would be this hard on me. I decided to give the baby...
    LoveMeAlways21 LoveMeAlways21 18-21, F 4 Responses Dec 12, 2013

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    I want him back!!!! My son left the hospital

    with his new adoptive parents December 6, 2013. I signed the termination papers December 9. I know I have twenty days to change my mind and its taking everything in my power not to call up my lawyer and tell her I want him back. I know in my gut that he is where he is supposed...
    bellefaute bellefaute 26-30, F 3 Responses Dec 15, 2013

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    My Story

    When I was 22 i found out i was pregnant by a guy who got me drunk and took advantage of me, when i told him what happened he told me that my brother got me pregnant. At this time i knew i would not be able to raise a baby so i choose adoption,i went through everything i had to...
    AislingElizabeth AislingElizabeth 26-30, F 6 Responses Jun 16, 2013

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    I'm Not A Birthmom, But I Am Adopted.

    I have a question for you birthmothers. I've been talking to my Birthmom since I was 15 (open adoption, but my adoptive mom said we were getting too close so she Closed it) well my Bmom found me and we've been talking for 6 years now. I feel closer to her rather than my Adoptive...
    Lonestar92 Lonestar92 22-25, F 3 Responses Aug 6, 2013

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    Its been almost ten years I was forces to give

    my son up for adoption to a realitive I was able to have a relationship with him for six years at which point he found out I was his mom and he wanted to live with me so I was completely shut out of his life.when I first had to hand him over he was three months old and I thought...
    Danielle0525 Danielle0525 26-30, F 1 Response Feb 22

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    Hi!

    I put my daughter up for adoption 14 years ago! I only did it because i was 19 at the time and because the people who were going to adopt her would let me see her.. Well 1 month before the adoption was going to go through they decided to move my daughter to another home but it...
    karen1998 karen1998 31-35, F 4 Responses Nov 19, 2012

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    Need Help Coping

    I am a fairly young mom, I'm 25 with 3 beautiful daughters from a previous marriage. In February I had gotten pregnant during a one night stand with a friend of mine. Well when I told him he told me he can't afford the baby, and seeing as I'm struggling with my girls because...
    bre03 bre03 26-30, F 7 Responses Nov 24, 2013

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    The Road Less Traveled

    I guess my story truly starts at the beginning of my senior year of high school in 2007.  I had just met Tony, and although he was 20 and I was 17, four-hour-long phone conversations turned into a relationship that can only be described as "young love".  I was...
    halleygrace18 halleygrace18 18-21, F 4 Responses Jan 28, 2009

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    My name is Jennifer and I am a birthmother.

    I was 17 when I had my son and adoption was my choice because I loved him. I've grown up..I'm married, successful career, beautiful kids..and I love my son, still. I recently had the opportunity to chat with him after almost 20 years, and it is bittersweet. He is happy and...
    Jensword Jensword 36-40, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    Today is my son's 10th birthday.

    I can't believe how much time has passed. I can't help but think I was only five years older when I got pregnant with him. He has made me so much stronger and wiser. I have no regrets but I still hope he doesn't follow in my footsteps. It isn't always easy living without him but...
    lovewarsnow lovewarsnow 26-30, F 1 Response Apr 10

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    My boyfriend thinks I should just forget.

    I email my son's adoptive mother a couple of times a month. She sends me pictures of him and gives me updates on the entire family. Sometimes its easier than others to read those emails. Today was unbearable because I got my first video of him. For the first time since I left...
    bellefaute bellefaute 26-30, F 3 Responses May 26

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    What Do I Tell Her??

    When and if my daughter is ready to know I am her birth mother what am I going to say to her?? How am I going to explain that I gave birth to her, couldn't handel it and gave her away to someone else and than a year and a half later married a man with three kids and raised them...
    jjmommy09 jjmommy09 22-25, F 2 Responses Nov 8, 2013

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    Nothing in this world can ever break my heart

    again Its been a week since I gave birth to the most perfect baby boy. And although I know that placing him for adoption remains the best choice for him and myself, I didn't know exactly how hard it was going to be. I feel as if a piece of myself is missing. I told the adoptive...
    bellefaute bellefaute 26-30, F 2 Responses Dec 12, 2013

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    I Am A Birthmom Who Has Been In Reunion For 2-1/2 Years....

    I was 17 when I gave birth to my daughter in 1970 (the closed era).  I never considered keeping her because I came from a home where it was just my mom raising 5 daughters on her own and we were very poor.  I wanted better things for my daughter.  I thought of her all the time...
    humbird753 humbird753 56-60, F 6 Responses Nov 26, 2011

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    I just recently relinquished my daughter

    and am having a hell of a time. My emotions come in waves, and I do not know what to do with myself. I am only a week out of the hospital and all I can do is think of her. I find myself gravitating toward her photos on my lab top, but when I look through them I start to cry...
    Montanagirl13 Montanagirl13 22-25, F 3 Responses Jun 29

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    Too Young For 2!

    I am a Birthmother of identical twin girls. I became pregnant in college, my boyfriend didn't want to get married and took me to an abortion clinic. I freaked out when the counselor suggested "late term abortion" due to my approximate pregnancy size. They were of course...
    Blondambition64 Blondambition64 46-50, F 9 Responses Jan 31, 2010

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    My Adoption Story of My Son

    My adoption story Don’t you ever forget My precious baby boy That I love you Don’t you ever forget My beautiful angel That you were wanted Don’t you ever forget Little bundle of joy That you were not rejected Don’t you ever forget...
    Espresso Espresso 22-25, F 2 Responses Apr 5, 2009

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    It Has Been A Long And Extremely Painful Journey...

    There are many women who have lost their babies to adoption who do not like to be called "birth mothers". To many this term makes it seem like they are not real mothers, rather "breeders" who provide childless families with babies. I am not offended by this term. I don't see it...
    carlynne carlynne 46-50 9 Responses Jan 17, 2011

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    27 years ago my baby was taken from me.

    I had no choice. I'm still angry, terribly frustrated and traumatised after the experience. It was a life changing event. I was 13 when a man at a park forced me into waste ground and made me have sex with him. My life has never been the same.i never got making any decisions...
    Shariano Shariano 41-45, F 1 Response Mar 3

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    How To Deal With My Loss

    Mine was an open adoption and they promised on god i get to see my son but he turns 2 Jan 10th and i haven't seen him sense the hospital. I ask god why i did such a great thing for someone and they are so cold and uncaring we gave them something they could never have for 15 years...
    lovely2463 lovely2463 31-35, F 3 Responses Jul 15, 2013

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    The Real Story And Not The One You See On Tv

    Here i am! I look on TV at how nice they make the adoption process look but i know the real story, I was a single mother of two when i got pregnant for the third time The idea that i would have three children under five and two that would be a year apart was scary. I went into...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Oct 12, 2010

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    I was 15 years old when I found out I was

    pregnant, 16 When I gave birth to her. I wasn't forced into adoption, I defiantly didn't know much about it by OB doctor is the one that brought it up and told me she could get me in contact with someone if it is what I wanted. At the time I knew I was young I didnt want my...
    KYbirthmom97 KYbirthmom97 31-35, F 1 Response Mar 3

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    Let The Healing Begin

    I work for a software company that touches all sides of the adoption triad. Post adoption has more emotion that a John Steinbeck novel. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. Life isn’t about being fair, but we are trying to balance the scale for birth moms...
    cairsgreg cairsgreg 51-55 Nov 14, 2013

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    The Truth

    21 years ago I was raped. I was 14 years old at the time. Shortly after this had happened I found out that I was pregnant. After the initial shock of the news the next emotions I felt were of overwhelming love for my baby and a fierce protectiveness. I chose to see my baby as the...
    afraidmom afraidmom 31-35, F 3 Responses Dec 3, 2013

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    I guess I tend to post more

    than others. The truth is I wish I had somewhere to connect with other birth moms when the adoption was so new and painful. If my words can help even one person I know I have accomplished something. My son's 10th birthday was on the 9th. As you may have known from a previous...
    lovewarsnow lovewarsnow 26-30, F 4 Responses Apr 19

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    I guess this is my feeling during the process

    of having my son Dylan. Four in the morning, these nine months have come to an end. The car is started and I have everything packed up and ready to go. I am scared, but I am not exactly afraid. Will everyone be there in time? Will it last forever? Is Jen going to make it...
    LikeADove LikeADove 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 11

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    I was 15 when I became pregnant to someone of

    whom I was with for a year, I finished the relationship due to my hormones and moods. I concealed my pregnancy and no one had a clue apart from the rumours at school. Deep down I knew what was happening I just didn't want to admit it too myself because I was terrified and I had...
    sophie1153 sophie1153 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 5

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    Milestones I Will Never Be A Part Of

    My baby boy will be a month old Saturday. This last month has been incredibly hard for me. I miss him every second of the day and Ive shed more tears than I've ever shed. The APs have been wonderful, sending me emails and pictures every few days. The other day they sent me a...
    Akasha5081 Akasha5081 31-35, F 5 Responses Oct 17, 2013

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    I am 24 and pregnant with my second child.

    ..my first pregnancy was bliss and even though me and my son's father are not together he definitely takes care of his responsibility s and enjoys his son so much. I am pregnant by a different man now who has about 10 other children and I would call him a rolling stone, I come...
    loveisreal24 loveisreal24 22-25, F 1 Response Mar 18

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    Feedback Needed From Fellow Birthmoms

    I was hoping for some feedback. Quick background just in case, 10 years ago when I was 16, I was raped and made a clear choice to give the resulting baby boy up for adoption. Now I'm finally addressing the grief and loss I've always felt. Seems I have post traumatic stress...
    paigegurl paigegurl 26-30, F 6 Responses Sep 11, 2009

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    Tired of Trying to Forget

    It has been nearly 8 years since I made the decision to give my perfect baby to another couple. You see, I was not a member of the "single parent, pregnant and alone" cliched group. I was married and had a 2 year old daughter. My husband (now ex) was not a really good...
    matweeks matweeks 31-35 10 Responses Oct 21, 2008

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    Related Experiences

    I was adopted when I was a newborn, in fact, I would not have existed if it weren't for my parents. My birth mother wanted to abort me, but luckily, my mom and dad were looking for...
    inwarddispositions inwarddispositions 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 21

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