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I Am a Child Abuse Survivor

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 13,566 People

    Why We Keep Bringing It Up...an Essay

    So…dragonofjapan said something: “Yes, you were abused, but what are you going to do about it right now?” So I was thinking about that. What a lot of abuse survivors do…appears like wallowing. In some cases, it may actually be wallowing…but for most of us… What...
    hylierandom hylierandom 41-45 53 Responses Jan 20, 2012

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    I guess I was technically abused

    though I've never really looked at it that way. When I was 12 I had an older male friend of the family who would look after me when my parents were both traveling. One day we were just hanging out at home and we were talking about girls and sex and we got on the topic of...
    jeepxjdude2000 jeepxjdude2000 26-30, M 4 Responses Jan 15

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    alice12344321 alice12344321 18-21, F 7 Responses Jan 2

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    I was sexually abused by two brothers over a

    four year period. It started when i was 8. Thought it was my fault, still kinda do. I mean, if I hadn't been born, it wouldn't of happened. I had the same nightmare night after night. When I finally told someone, I felt so embarrassed. I still do to this day. I couldn't change...
    gr8love gr8love 36-40, F 19 Responses Mar 9, 2014

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    I had a nightmare last night.

    I can't remember the details but I remember that all too familiar feeling. I wish closing your eyes actually protected you. I'm so glad my children will never have to close their eyes to escape me or their father.
    Atru727 Atru727 31-35, F 2 Responses Nov 30, 2015

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    reading some of these posts.

    ..just adding my 2 cents. If any of you think you are going to get comfort from your abuser admitting what they done or saying they are sorry or the person who enabled it to happen, think again. My father never could admit the truth to anyone, although he did say he was sorry as...
    taintdrose taintdrose 41-45, F 2 Responses Nov 4, 2015

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    It can be so hard to heal.

    My mind is continuously jumping back to the times I've been hurt. I used to hate the idea of healing from my past because the hurt of my past was all I knew and I became so comfortable with it. I was physically abused since I was 3 years old. Throughout that time I sexually...
    dancinglawn dancinglawn 22-25, F 1 Response Dec 2, 2015

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    I didn't join this site with the intention of

    sharing this experience. Not at all. I've previously done so to my therapist, but (with the exception of my sister) no one else. No one. But it is plain to me now that it's essential to do so in order to try to explain my personality and behaviour- to myself if nothing else...
    deleted deleted 26-30 11 Responses Sep 17, 2015

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    I am sixteen now. When I was little I lived

    with my grandparents. My grandfather would sometimes whip me with a belt on my lower half, or yell at me at the top of his lungs sometimes and bang his fists on the table at me, once for messing up on a colouring assignment. and I would run and hide; in closet or under my bed...
    chelbacca chelbacca 16-17, F 8 Responses Jan 20

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    "What Happens In This House, Stays In This House."

    That was the catchphrase growing up with my parents. As an adult, hearing something like that sends alarm bells ringing. This is a story of how abuse and neglect nearly ruined me, but hasn't. I am two short years away from being thirty years old, and it's only through writing on...
    littledharmabum littledharmabum 26-30, F 23 Responses Mar 30, 2008

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    " I am " I am 16 But mentally I am 10

    Emotionally I am afraid of everything I am a victim of abuse and I am ashamed . No one knows how hard it's to hide the pain behind a mask . The memory's will always haunting but I am trying to forget . The emotional wounds just won't go away . I am dead inside just a shell...
    kittenmajor kittenmajor 18-21, F 9 Responses a week ago

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    This Is My Story...

    It's something I have always put away something that I have tried to forget something I don't normally talk about. But lately I'm thinking a lot I think about a lot of things... I'm thinking about the new direction I want to take in life I have decided to close this first chapter...
    surrealreality surrealreality 31-35, F 22 Responses Oct 14, 2011

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    When I talk about the abuse I still suffer from

    my sadistic birth mother on different forums of this website, it's disturbing that some people respond with,,, wtf did u do to your mom? As if the abuse has to be my fault not my abusive mother. But for someone to say that and jump to an abusive parent's defense feels more...
    Archangel216 Archangel216 36-40, F 6 Responses Nov 10, 2015

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    My Childhood

    Violence was very commonplace at home. I would often ask my mother whether it was normal to be beaten up by my father. She would reply that I was lucky to have a father who could provide for us and that complaining was very ungrateful towards my parents and towards God's...
    deleted deleted 26-30 26 Responses Jun 10, 2013

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    I'm in my way out from the state of mind,

    that I was supporting for my whole life. Now, I have so much of contradictory feelings and thoughts, that I don't know who really I am. How long does this process of recovery will endure? How can I find who am I, after relation with mother who wanna only to subordinate me, and...
    No2Symphony No2Symphony 22-25, F 1 Response Nov 11, 2015

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    stolen youth Only an infant,

    not even a teen, far from being a woman A tiny 3 feet tall human being that you took by the hand You said to me: you're beautiful pretty girl, want to play? Come and see me, I got a secret for you, come my way A nice little game you said, but only for you and me Better not...
    ChantouKimmy ChantouKimmy 41-45, F 19 Responses Aug 11, 2015

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    Both my parents were bad drunks.

    My father generally did most of his drinking outside and just came home to pass out. When he wasn't passed out he was ok, not an angry mean guy at all. My mother on the other hand was genuinely mentally ill in addition to being an alcoholic and very mean, cruel and abusive...
    mattysnycity mattysnycity 56-60, M 2 Responses Nov 24, 2015

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    My Father And I

    It was Saturday, I hated Saturdays! My mother being a motor welder/winder used to love Saturdays. She would dress up from head to toe to meet her friends for lunch then do groceries. She'd be gone for hours. I can remember begging to go with her and she'd always say "No", my...
    SparkofHope SparkofHope 46-50, F 19 Responses Sep 26, 2013

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    Making Peace with Your Past: Choosing

    Forgiveness Are you haunted by something that happened in your past? Whether someone wronged you or you made a decision you regret, Dr. Phil says that forgiveness is what you do for yourself, not for other people. When you forgive, it doesn't mean that you approve of what's...
    Q2013 Q2013 46-50, F 5 Responses Feb 2

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    I was 8 years old when he first touched me.

    He was in the basement spending the day at our house watching tv. I went to ask him if he wanted to play with me and my sisters, because he usually would. He told me he was too tired to play so I told him ok. I went turned around and went to walk upstairs until he strangely...
    loverenzy loverenzy 16-17, F 1 Response Jan 11

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    My Mother Let A Man Rape Me When I Was 10 Years Old

    When I was born my parents were in the process of getting a divorce. It wasnt long before my mother found someone else to take my fathers place. The knew man named Paul was in my mothers life for about 13 years total before they finally broke up. Paul had more than one girlfriend...
    17andSexXii 17andSexXii 18-21, F 46 Responses Jan 5, 2011

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    My Parents

    I have never received a hug or kiss from my parents. If I have I don't remember it. I've never gotten a birthday present or blown out candles. I didn't know kids got all this until I made real friends in 5th grade. I didn't understand. My friends don't understand how I could get...
    atraptbird atraptbird 16-17, F 34 Responses Jun 28, 2009

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    Here's A Thought...

    Just think about it, if you disagree, please tell me why I'm wrong. I won't clobber you over it, ok? ( I reserve the right to be wrong, I *don't* have to be perfect, and neither do you. ) Our abusers were weak. Weak people. They wanted to project that weakness outward, so they...
    hylierandom hylierandom 41-45 11 Responses Jul 20, 2013

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    I have carried the guilt

    and pain with me for over 30 years never telling anyone what had happened. Its only now i find the strength to talk about the abuse. Why does it have to be so hard. I have days when i just want to end it all but somehow just keep on going.
    alexed65 alexed65 46-50, M 5 Responses Mar 7, 2014

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    Dear Daddy, I loved you

    so I hope you know I looked up to you even though You took my grace, you took my faith You made me weak and such a disgrace Just a baby, innocent, and whole You took that a away, all of it you stole And now I am here, shattered and confused How someone so little could take...
    deleted deleted 26-30 14 Responses Dec 5, 2013

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    My Mother Destroyed Me

    When I was a child my mother abused me mentally, verbally, emotionally and physically. She used to beat me in the face and head, call me names, pull my hair and made me believe I was worthless. For most of my childhood, I didn't realize I was being abused. I guess I just...
    AyselMoonbaby AyselMoonbaby 31-35, F 139 Responses Mar 18, 2011

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    It's one a.m and I just finish my shift.

    I must be getting wiser as I enter my 20's. The saying "With age comes maturity" must ring true. I've been reading self help books lately. Although my healing process had just begun I feel a quiet revolution stirring inside of me. It's been difficult. I never knew words could...
    Just1n Just1n 22-25, M 3 Responses Nov 14, 2015

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    This story is my own,

    I’m not telling it to get pity but cause it helps to talk about it and I know it can help others in the same situation or who have been there…. This is not a fun story, some may find it hard some may find it hard… some can relate.. When I was born, I already had a big...
    ChantouKimmy ChantouKimmy 41-45, F 5 Responses Jan 27

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    When I was like 5 my moms boyfriend would abuse

    me and my brothers everyday until she got home it was a living hell.
    Marines75 Marines75 13-15, M 11 Responses Mar 22, 2015

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    reading so many stories from this group i've

    seen how vigilant friends here..your survival inspires me to do the same thank you for sharing...
    snowhow snowhow 26-30, F 2 Responses Nov 29, 2015

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    Strong

    Please be aware, the story may contain triggers. Please stop reading if you feel you've had enough. I need to write and share this, but there is no need for you to suffer from what I wrote. Today I feel strong. Usually I use those days to be merry and happy, but today I...
    Idonwannadie Idonwannadie 46-50, M 15 Responses Sep 27, 2012

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    I was abused s3xually by a family member

    and verbally abused by a parent growing up. I survived, but it left some scars one was acute fear and panic attacks. I made many bad decisions in my life all because of fear. It impacted my marriage, myself, and my children. I had no self esteem at all and lost myself in...
    Iamonlyheretowrite1 Iamonlyheretowrite1 46-50, F 6 Responses Jan 3

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    (BEWARE, THIS IS LENGTHY AND DEscriptIVE) It

    was another night my uncle had stayed over to go work with my dad the next morning. I remember playing with my pink princess bouncy ball in the family room with my two younger sister's Rachel and Char. As we were throwing it to each other, uncle Dan ran in and took the ball and...
    loverenzy loverenzy 16-17, F Jan 11

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    We would like to believe

    as a society that we build prisons for the evil that are in this world. The reality is the most evil are often the ones that are too clever to allow themselves to be locked up. They are true sociopaths, and they reproduce torturing the most innocent. They are ugly with their...
    venusdi venusdi 70+, F 11 Responses Feb 3, 2014

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    My cousin molested me

    since i was to young to remember. I started to realize it was wrong around the ages of 7-8. He slept over all the time practically lived with me. I started to tie my pajamas really tight or wear jeans to bed but he would always get them off. One night i stayed up till the...
    Prettygurl234 Prettygurl234 18-21, F 8 Responses Nov 22, 2014

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    I have never had not one person to tell me

    that I should stay away from my mother because it could be bad for my health. Because she is a woman I feel like everyone covers up for her and give her excuses when they barely know her...and it's very disappointing when it comes from relatives it makes me feel like me or my...
    PetiteChica PetiteChica 18-21, F 6 Responses Feb 3

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    I am but its hard to

    even bring myself to even write about it.
    Myeyestellu Myeyestellu 41-45, F 2 Responses Dec 26, 2015

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    I am not sure if I was abused by my male cousin

    as a child of 10 or not . My family had money problems and we had to move in with my aunts and male cousin. I was told to share his bed . I was 10 and he was 11 , we had never been close at all. I got undressed in the dark and got into bed with him He had a flashlight under...
    anthony2001 anthony2001 61-65, M 1 Response Jan 11

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    I survived my childhood ,

    that's not to say that I'm OK it just means I'm alive . I didn't have it as bad as some but it was bad enough to me . I have had problems all my life because of the way it conditioned me . As far back as I can remember I got beat , I'm talking at age 5 - I remember being beaten...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Dec 17, 2015

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    I don't remember allot about my childhood.

    but I remember the abuse more clearly. I really wish I could get mental help. it's like my hart has shattered into shards of glass .
    flowergirl1997 flowergirl1997 18-21, F 19 Responses May 23, 2015

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    Happy People And Me

    I was abused verbally, physically, sexually.The main one being my dad, although it was my uncle who raped me first.But my dad had continued access, and he used it.My mom worked every night-well, five days a week, and...yeah.So my experience is that the worst thing that can...
    hylierandom hylierandom 41-45 23 Responses Jun 27, 2011

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    = The grip he had on my neck was truly

    shocking to me as true fear also gripped me for the first time of my life. It was impossible for me to draw a breath and time slowed to a sickening rate. With my back against the wall and my toes pointed reaching in vain for the floor my gaze came to rest on his face. His brow...
    PetuniaPetal PetuniaPetal 46-50, F 1 Response Nov 30, 2015

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    I remember being 6 years old

    and my older siblings had left home. My mother had jus had the youngest in our family. The twins were almost 3. My mother was a very sick alcoholic. Our father was the worst pervert I have ever met in real life. They started me on drugs and alcohol at this early age. After about...
    squirllykid squirllykid 46-50, F 2 Responses Aug 4, 2014

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    When I was showering earlier,

    I actually went into a panic when washing and rinsing my face off. I thought I couldn't breathe and started imagining my dad was suffocating me again. Out of everything he has done, I can't stand screaming (even kids that are happy), I can't stand people touching me or about...
    44JC 44JC 22-25, F 3 Responses Dec 1, 2015

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    I have started to write a story more

    than three times here . At the age of 41 im still ashamed. I have angels here that have given me strenght. I am still scarred with blood that will never wash away... tattoos of ripped skin and bruises...lead in my arm. The spector of a two year old girl who never gets any...
    Myeyestellu Myeyestellu 41-45, F 7 Responses Jan 11

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