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I Am a Child Abuse Survivor

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 10,691 People

    When I was on this website into thousand 13 I

    posted a story about my child abuse. That part of my life is now behind me. I am grateful for a wonderful psychologist and a wonderful God. I'm not going to repost the story because it would be fruitless. But anyone who needs to talk please message me. My name is Bob. I know I...
    lovlife777 lovlife777 46-50, M 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    I have carried the guilt

    and pain with me for over 30 years never telling anyone what had happened. Its only now i find the strength to talk about the abuse. Why does it have to be so hard. I have days when i just want to end it all but somehow just keep on going.
    alexed65 alexed65 46-50, M 4 Responses Mar 7, 2014

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    I’m not sure when the latter state of mind

    ended and the former started. It’s like the event horizon of a black hole The outcome is obvious but it’s conception is hidden in plain sight. Ignored symptoms manifest themselves as an inability to progress forward. At this point, the only option is to cease functioning...
    Bonocular Bonocular 56-60, M Jan 31

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    My Mother Let A Man Rape Me When I Was 10 Years Old

    When I was born my parents were in the process of getting a divorce. It wasnt long before my mother found someone else to take my fathers place. The knew man named Paul was in my mothers life for about 13 years total before they finally broke up. Paul had more than one girlfriend...
    17andSexXii 17andSexXii 18-21, F 45 Responses Jan 5, 2011

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    YesSir3845 YesSir3845 16-17, F 3 Responses a week ago

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    THE TALL POLICEMAN DIDNT LISTEN:It was in May.

    . Still too cold for the public swimming pool to be opened..We lived in Vernayaz, a very small village, close to a town called Martigny, where the public pool was...I was with my friend Sandra who was 7 or 8 like me. It was after lunch, we were walking my dog near an electricity...
    Sorrentina Sorrentina 41-45, F 12 Responses Jul 6, 2014

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    It stops with me. Yes,

    I was abused. Still am, and I'm 65 years old. I was watching an episode of Law and Order SVU, and one of the characters said it poignantly said that she was disgusted with her mother because her father sexually abused her. She stated that her father had abused her, but he...
    casualwear casualwear 61-65, M 4 Responses Jan 4

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    At Least I Am Not Like Them

    The sick SOB that donated the ***** to create me used to like to get drunk and high. He would start by telling me how stupid, weak, and useless I was.  Then he would whip himself into a real anger and start swinging.  He would literally pound my head into the wall.  I...
    lyricaldemise lyricaldemise 36-40, T 2 Responses Nov 14, 2012

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    My brother from so long ago physically sexually

    verbally abused me I was a frightened little girl who was always hiding n running away but was always found Very very violent n strong I tried to stop him but felt paralysed back then I wanted to shout stop but the words wouldn't come out n I had no realisation to tell...
    LATEENO79 LATEENO79 31-35, F 4 Responses Jan 29

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    Strong

    Please be aware, the story may contain triggers. Please stop reading if you feel you've had enough. I need to write and share this, but there is no need for you to suffer from what I wrote. Today I feel strong. Usually I use those days to be merry and happy, but today I...
    Idonwannadie Idonwannadie 46-50, M 14 Responses Sep 27, 2012

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    I look at the pictures of me from 3 years ago

    and I wonder...how did nobody know? How did they not see the bruises and cuts? How did nobody see that I was being torchered, beat, raped, and killed?
    darebearsworld darebearsworld 16-17, F a week ago

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    Alright i was molested by my great uncle,

    brother and aunt. My stepmom went crazy after her first born died when i was 9. He died when my dad was in jail. My dad had to go to the funeral in a jumpsuit and cuffs around wrists and ankles. My stepmom used to lock herself in the bathroom with knives and scream bloody...
    onefedupgirl onefedupgirl 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 20

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    Being a survivor is something I embrace in

    myself. I could ponder endlessly as to why I experienced the trauma... and believe me, I have. But honestly, I've fought hard to put it behind me and rise above... to end the nightmare of the storm it created within me. Surviving is about living... and life is too short for...
    WithGracefulness WithGracefulness 46-50, F 10 Responses Jan 26

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    Time To Share

    I haven't really talked a whole lot about my past here, but recently, I think I have felt inspired to do so because of the strength of other friends in my circle who have talked about their experience. I think it's important to share, not for the purpose of reliving the...
    deleted deleted 26-30 32 Responses Apr 30, 2011

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    I have this crush on a boy at my school.

    But, I don't know how I will react to dating and having to be physical towards him (holding hands, talking, etc.) I don't know if I am capable of being loved anymore. Would he want me if he knew about my past? Im scared. I don't know if im ready for this...
    darebearsworld darebearsworld 16-17, F 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    "What Happens In This House, Stays In This House."

    That was the catchphrase growing up with my parents. As an adult, hearing something like that sends alarm bells ringing. This is a story of how abuse and neglect nearly ruined me, but hasn't. I am two short years away from being thirty years old, and it's only through writing on...
    littledharmabum littledharmabum 26-30, F 23 Responses Mar 30, 2008

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    I Am Striving To Thrive

    For now, I am a survivor. My parents were teenage hippies and I do believe they wanted me, but had no idea what they were doing. Not that any parent really knows what they're doing, but some are a lot more prepared by an emotional maturity that most teens are not yet capable of...
    lovevolves8 lovevolves8 36-40, F 3 Responses Oct 15, 2013

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    Ofelia, Or How Another Book Saved My Life.

    I like keeping certain things in order. My room, desk, and papers may look like a complete mess to an untrained eye, but my thoughts and memories are always preserved with a flawless method because since I cannot forget, keeping all the drawers in my mind clean allows me to put...
    sweetmeisje sweetmeisje 26-30, F 33 Responses Jul 18, 2010

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    My Mother Destroyed Me

    When I was a child my mother abused me mentally, verbally, emotionally and physically. She used to beat me in the face and head, call me names, pull my hair and made me believe I was worthless. For most of my childhood, I didn't realize I was being abused. I guess I just...
    AyselMoonbaby AyselMoonbaby 31-35, F 110 Responses Mar 18, 2011

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    Nothing But Pain And Questions My parents were

    never bad parents. They weren't alcoholics, they never hit me and they always made sure there was food on the table. But I always wondered how they never knew? My abuse was systematic and lasted many years. All of the alone time I spent with that person. My stunted development...
    CoopSmith CoopSmith 26-30, M 1 Response Feb 24

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    This Is My Story...

    It's something I have always put away something that I have tried to forget something I don't normally talk about. But lately I'm thinking a lot I think about a lot of things... I'm thinking about the new direction I want to take in life I have decided to close this first chapter...
    surrealreality surrealreality 31-35, F 23 Responses Oct 14, 2011

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    My Parents

    I have never received a hug or kiss from my parents. If I have I don't remember it. I've never gotten a birthday present or blown out candles. I didn't know kids got all this until I made real friends in 5th grade. I didn't understand. My friends don't understand how I could get...
    atraptbird atraptbird 16-17, F 34 Responses Jun 28, 2009

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    The Nightmare Has Ended

    I have lived the last 20 years of my life either being abused by you or abusing myself with alcohol and other addictions in an attempt to escape the memories of your torment. During the decade of abuse I always hoped that you would “accidently” kill me. I had hoped you would...
    Overwhelmed15 Overwhelmed15 26-30, F 6 Responses Nov 20, 2013

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    Happy People And Me

    I was abused verbally, physically, sexually.The main one being my dad, although it was my uncle who raped me first.But my dad had continued access, and he used it.My mom worked every night-well, five days a week, and...yeah.So my experience is that the worst thing that can...
    hylierandom hylierandom 41-45 26 Responses Jun 27, 2011

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    My cousin molested me

    since i was to young to remember. I started to realize it was wrong around the ages of 7-8. He slept over all the time practically lived with me. I started to tie my pajamas really tight or wear jeans to bed but he would always get them off. One night i stayed up till the...
    Prettygurl234 Prettygurl234 16-17, F 8 Responses Nov 22, 2014

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    I had a flashback the other day.

    I went to get in the shower and it happened. I was back in that house, in the bathroom, the water in the tub was filling with scolding hot water. Then he throws me in it. Im screaming, fighting for air. My skin is burning and I feel like im gonna die. Finally he lets me out...
    darebearsworld darebearsworld 16-17, F Mar 18

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    Power Is Rebellion. It will serve you well to

    place the people behind bars. or at least destroy them emotionally, spiritually.
    Gabster27 Gabster27 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 18

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    This is only a small amount of the abuse

    that has happened in my childhood. It happened by many people for a long time. But this is what I need to talk about right now. I have a very large amount of stuff to talk about. I just got out of therapy and I'm just shaking like a leaf right now. It was a very difficult...
    ChantelSurvived ChantelSurvived 22-25, F 3 Responses 3 days ago

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    Why We Keep Bringing It Up...an Essay

    So…dragonofjapan said something: “Yes, you were abused, but what are you going to do about it right now?” So I was thinking about that. What a lot of abuse survivors do…appears like wallowing. In some cases, it may actually be wallowing…but for most of us… What...
    hylierandom hylierandom 41-45 54 Responses Jan 20, 2012

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    Abuse Comes In Many Forms and Degrees

      When I was a teenager, my mom kicked my step dad out when I told her he'd been sexually abusing my sister and me. There were tears and hugs that one night and then everything was expected to go on as normal. My mom acted like she didn't want to put us through a...
    sufirehorse66 sufirehorse66 46-50, F 32 Responses Aug 27, 2009

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    For a long time i used 2 blame myself

    for the physical, mental & sexual abuse that was inflicted on me, blamed myself because i used to beg to God and beg in my head please make him come to me and not my wee sister or brother or my mother.
    Pennycaca Pennycaca 36-40, F 1 Response Feb 1

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    A Few Words Of Encouragement

    before i let anyone in on my abuse story, i just want to say how grateful we should all be that we even RECOGNIZE that we were abused. there are many people who take tons of therapy to learn these things about their lives. i had to teach myself through small baby steps how to do...
    foldedunfolding foldedunfolding 31-35, F 16 Responses Jun 1, 2012

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    HOW TO HEAL YOUR BRAIN: 1.

    READ THESE BOOKS TO UNDERSTAND WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR BRAIN AND HOW TO IMPROVE IT. What happened is you lacked human intimacy and attachment. You were starved for love, and if you're still lacking healthy intimate attachment relationship as an adult, then you are still some...
    Ajushi Ajushi 41-45, M 3 Responses Jun 5, 2014

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    I was 11 years old, my mom was working,

    my stepdad was drinking his usual beer. I was in my room trying to stay out of his way I didn't want another beating from his belt. It wasn't long before I heard him calling my name. I went downstairs and he told me to bring him another beer. When I handed him the beer he...
    sarah95w sarah95w 18-21, F 21 Responses Apr 22, 2014

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    a problem I feel powerless too.

    ..I stayed with my best friends sister(jess) after my dad died and she became a good friend also she much older. She always had trouble finding love and about four years ago she married this man shed only known for six months. two years in they have two daughters. this past year...
    ericaswife11 ericaswife11 26-30, F 1 Response Mar 20

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    This story is my own,

    I’m not telling it to get pity but cause it helps to talk about it and I know it can help others in the same situation or who have been there…. This is not a fun story, some may find it hard some may find it hard… some can relate.. When I was born, I already had a big...
    ChantouKimmy ChantouKimmy 41-45, F 5 Responses Mar 20

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    Since I'm new here, I won't go into a lot of

    details. To be honest, I remember very little of my life before I was adopted at age 6. Before that is mostly blank. What I do remember crushes my spirit, and frightens me. Often I relive a murder I witnessed at age 5, and I cannot, though I have tried, deal with that as a...
    WilliamBennett WilliamBennett 61-65, M 4 Responses Feb 15

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    this is the 1st time I am mentioning this

    after 37 years. I remember my brother telling me that I can't tell anyone as he will get in trouble because people won't understand. that moment burnt it self into my mind forever.
    tony71tony tony71tony 41-45, M 2 Responses Jan 6

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    Here's A Thought...

    Just think about it, if you disagree, please tell me why I'm wrong. I won't clobber you over it, ok? ( I reserve the right to be wrong, I *don't* have to be perfect, and neither do you. ) Our abusers were weak. Weak people. They wanted to project that weakness outward, so they...
    hylierandom hylierandom 41-45 11 Responses Jul 20, 2013

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    Many do not understand regression.

    Oh, they know the definition, but when a child or adult regresses a desire to understand the root cause is usually overcome by discomfort and a need to change the behavior. Children and adults that have been diagnosed with paraphilic infantilism, or who suffer from it but have...
    brokenat5 brokenat5 61-65, M 1 Response Feb 28

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    Dear Daddy, I loved you

    so I hope you know I looked up to you even though You took my grace, you took my faith You made me weak and such a disgrace Just a baby, innocent, and whole You took that a away, all of it you stole And now I am here, shattered and confused How someone so little could take...
    deleted deleted 26-30 17 Responses Dec 5, 2013

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    I remember being 6 years old

    and my older siblings had left home. My mother had jus had the youngest in our family. The twins were almost 3. My mother was a very sick alcoholic. Our father was the worst pervert I have ever met in real life. They started me on drugs and alcohol at this early age. After about...
    squirllykid squirllykid 46-50, F 4 Responses Aug 4, 2014

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    I am not a child anymore

    but I still put up with abuse. I have no family nor friends as far as I am concerned. Not on this earth anyway. Junior high school and high school was hell, too. Like I had a mark on me saying, Pick on me! Then the last part of college was horrible, too. I can't believe it...
    creativegal82 creativegal82 31-35, F 1 Response Dec 18, 2014

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    I was sexually abused by two brothers over a

    four year period. It started when i was 8. Thought it was my fault, still kinda do. I mean, if I hadn't been born, it wouldn't of happened. I had the same nightmare night after night. When I finally told someone, I felt so embarrassed. I still do to this day. I couldn't change...
    gr8love gr8love 31-35, F 19 Responses Mar 9, 2014

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    My Childhood

    Violence was very commonplace at home. I would often ask my mother whether it was normal to be beaten up by my father. She would reply that I was lucky to have a father who could provide for us and that complaining was very ungrateful towards my parents and towards God's...
    deleted deleted 26-30 27 Responses Jun 10, 2013

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    It started as far back

    as I can remember. My dad first, touching me where I shouldn't be touched. Then my brother raping me when I was 9. It went on for many years, but when I turned 12, the unthinkable happened. My "friend" took me to a party in my neighborhood. But it wasn't a party. I met a 30 year...
    darebearsworld darebearsworld 16-17, F 4 Responses Feb 28

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