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I Am a Child Abuse Survivor

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 7,253 People

    We would like to believe

    as a society that we build prisons for the evil that are in this world. The reality is the most evil are often the ones that are too clever to allow themselves to be locked up. They are true sociopaths, and they reproduce torturing the most innocent. They are ugly with their...
    venusdi venusdi 70+, F 13 Responses Feb 3

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    My Childhood

    Violence was very commonplace at home. I would often ask my mother whether it was normal to be beaten up by my father. She would reply that I was lucky to have a father who could provide for us and that complaining was very ungrateful towards my parents and towards God's...
    deleted deleted 26-30 29 Responses Jun 10, 2013

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    Socks. Soft, fuzzy, thick,

    warm. I hate the cold. I know what it is to have blue feet. Aching, throbbing, pain as they thaw; tears running down my face. I detest being cold. I grew-up in Connecticut. My Dad worked away from home. He would come home on Sunday, leave on Tuesday, and be gone for the rest...
    Smilenbhappy Smilenbhappy 46-50, F 1 Response Apr 2

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    My Parents

    I have never received a hug or kiss from my parents. If I have I don't remember it. I've never gotten a birthday present or blown out candles. I didn't know kids got all this until I made real friends in 5th grade. I didn't understand. My friends don't understand how I could get...
    atraptbird atraptbird 16-17, F 33 Responses Jun 28, 2009

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    Horror of horrors that I should have to

    remember this. Joe came up with a disgusting game "open your mouth and close your eyes and I'll give you a big surprise." I did and he spit in my mouth, how gross. He goes around and does it to the other kids in the family. We all think he's sick, stupid, a jerk. We start...
    Smilenbhappy Smilenbhappy 46-50, F 2 Responses Apr 4

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    A Father's Love

    It was late, I was laying in bed playing with my stuffed animals because I couldn't sleep. I heard the garage door open and close and someone come into the house. I assumed it was daddy, he wasn't home yet when mother sent me to bed. I wasn't sure if i should pretend to be asleep...
    Aydasha5 Aydasha5 18-21, F 37 Responses May 23, 2010

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    But The Tall Policeman Didn'T Listnen

    It was in May.. Still too cold for the public swimming pool to be opened..We lived in Vernayaz, a very small village, close to a town called Martigny, where the public pool was... I was with my friend Sandra who was 7 or 8 like me. It was after lunch, we were walking my dog near...
    Sorrentina Sorrentina 41-45, F 54 Responses Feb 3, 2013

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    I had this as physically abused.

    But honestly i was physically,emotionally, and mentally abused. I'm a child abuse survivor ------ Something i admit ruined my life. Only two people actually know me from EP and hope you keep it as a secret,please. It's not something i would like to hear spreading around, even...
    LolaBones LolaBones 16-17, F 4 Responses Mar 12

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    Dear Daddy, I loved you

    so I hope you know I looked up to you even though You took my grace, you took my faith You made me weak and such a disgrace Just a baby, innocent, and whole You took that a away, all of it you stole And now I am here, shattered and confused How someone so little could take...
    22shadesofme 22shadesofme 22-25, F 21 Responses Dec 5, 2013

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    This Is My Story...

    It's something I have always put away something that I have tried to forget something I don't normally talk about. But lately I'm thinking a lot I think about a lot of things... I'm thinking about the new direction I want to take in life I have decided to close this first chapter...
    surrealreality surrealreality 31-35, F 23 Responses Oct 14, 2011

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    My biological father is mentally ill,

    and left when I was 4 years old. We moved in with my step-dad when I was 7 or 8. He was (I'm sure he still is) an angry, mean man. Everything that I did was controlled. I wasn't allowed to leave the house except for school and trips to the store with my mom. My step-dad used to...
    pixidust76 pixidust76 36-40, F 4 Responses Mar 13

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    There Really Are Monsters

    Hi Dad... You are dead...and there is no way that I can tell you to your face what I have kept inside for so many years. Since your death I have struggled to find some peace and closure in my life. I have no way to tell you the things that need to be said except to tell you in a...
    Spyderflyer Spyderflyer 61-65 4 Responses Mar 25, 2013

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    he turned off the lights

    and told me that everything's gonna be alright, how could that be?
    madbutterfly madbutterfly 13-15, F 1 Response Mar 10

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    What is rather astonishing is the lack luster,

    and off centeredness of outreaches claiming to be for restoration efforts seeming to think that a pill could solve everything. Clossure solved the healing aspect when it is in fairness and if a person doesn't percieve trust your not going to get there. The advocacies I have...
    ConstantPharmaFLACK ConstantPharmaFLACK 31-35, M Mar 15

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    Why We Keep Bringing It Up...an Essay

    So…dragonofjapan said something: “Yes, you were abused, but what are you going to do about it right now?” So I was thinking about that. What a lot of abuse survivors do…appears like wallowing. In some cases, it may actually be wallowing…but for most of us… What...
    hylierandom hylierandom 41-45 55 Responses Jan 20, 2012

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    I hate being referred to

    as a victim. I am a survivor of child abuse. I am the 4th of 7 children. Only 5 of us resided in the home as I was growing up which made me the second child and the only girl left in the home. I grew up with four brothers all of which my mother was overly proud of. My two older...
    dorisreject dorisreject 31-35, F 3 Responses Mar 14

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    Why is it that we, the victims,

    feel such shame and guilt about the things we were forced to endure? Why is it that we feel so much embarrassment when we think of talking about it? It is not our fault. We are not the abusers— with the abuser is where the shame, the guilt, the self-disgust should live. Not in...
    lightsallnight lightsallnight 18-21, F 3 Responses Mar 13

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    I Am Striving To Thrive

    For now, I am a survivor. My parents were teenage hippies and I do believe they wanted me, but had no idea what they were doing. Not that any parent really knows what they're doing, but some are a lot more prepared by an emotional maturity that most teens are not yet capable of...
    lovevolves8 lovevolves8 36-40, F 2 Responses Oct 15, 2013

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    When I was little age 10 my uncle always hit me

    and do sexual stuff but I hated how he pretend he didn't do bad stuff around me when my uncle knew he did something wrong after my parents found out that he been trying to do sexual stuff to me and hit me always. We started to move away from him that we could not find us . One...
    AllyMai AllyMai 18-21, F 5 Responses Mar 8

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    The nightmares and shakes are back.

    I have no idea why this time. They started two weeks ago and I can't get them to stop. It scares me how quickly and without warning those memories can shut down my life. I haven't slept a full night in weeks. I know if I take my sleeping pills I'll sleep but I'm too afraid...
    ScarredScared ScarredScared 22-25, F 7 Responses 6 days ago

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    I Cant Find My Strength Anymore

    Id like to start of by saying how incredible it is to read so many inspirational stories and to not feel so alone. Im a woman of 21 (I say woman but im not quite there yet) im currently in the middle of the courtcase that i feel is going to make or break me. My father having...
    annonymous2012 annonymous2012 18-21, F 6 Responses Dec 14, 2012

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    I'm not sure if you could really categorise me

    under 'child'...I was 14 when it began, 17 when it ended. My mum started seeing this guy who she had met on a dating website (yeah, I know) and it moved really fast (or it seemed that way to a teenager who had just witnessed her parents get a divorce). He seemed perfect for...
    Elle0611 Elle0611 18-21, F 5 Responses Mar 10

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    I have deep hatred for the MAN abused me

    sexually when I was just a little kid. I was only 4-5 years old when this guy, this so called relatives sexually abused me. I din't know what was going on, didn't know what to do, who to talk to. Being an Asian, the culture doesn't allow you to speak about sex with your parents...
    nobodyn234 nobodyn234 26-30, M 3 Responses Mar 25

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    Ofelia, Or How Another Book Saved My Life.

    I like keeping certain things in order. My room, desk, and papers may look like a complete mess to an untrained eye, but my thoughts and memories are always preserved with a flawless method because since I cannot forget, keeping all the drawers in my mind clean allows me to put...
    sweetmeisje sweetmeisje 26-30, F 35 Responses Jul 18, 2010

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    My Story [Updated 9/18/2013]

    I was born in the summer of 1978 in the small town of Beckley, West Virginia. My parents were only about 16 at the time I was born and were not really prepared to take care of a child at that time. My father had his dad and step-mother watch me for a while until I was about three...
    jennykitten78 jennykitten78 31-35, T 28 Responses Jan 31, 2011

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    If by 'survivor' you mean

    that I'm alive and now an adult. It's a betrayal. The one person who is supposed to do everything but hurt you, inflicting harsh, ongoing, wanton pain. She taught me, encouraged me, inspired me, and protected me. Make no mistake. But she has also torn down everything...
    HumanKnownAsVictor HumanKnownAsVictor 18-21, M 8 Responses Apr 4

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    Strong

    Please be aware, the story may contain triggers. Please stop reading if you feel you've had enough. I need to write and share this, but there is no need for you to suffer from what I wrote. Today I feel strong. Usually I use those days to be merry and happy, but today I...
    Idonwannadie Idonwannadie 46-50, M 15 Responses Sep 27, 2012

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    Young m willing to do anything to help his

    family. Have anything to ask www.gofundme.com/7b4p5c
    Boredathomeboy Boredathomeboy 16-17, M Mar 9

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    I have PTSD because of it (well one of the

    reasons...). My father is the one who abused me and my family. He would beat my mom and sister. But he saved the worst for me. He would rape me, burn me, cut me, heck he even shocked me with a taser.... All because he would smoke crack and because I have a deformed hand and he...
    dacraww dacraww 22-25, M 6 Responses Mar 16

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    A Few Words Of Encouragement

    before i let anyone in on my abuse story, i just want to say how grateful we should all be that we even RECOGNIZE that we were abused. there are many people who take tons of therapy to learn these things about their lives. i had to teach myself through small baby steps how to do...
    foldedunfolding foldedunfolding 26-30, F 16 Responses Jun 1, 2012

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    I was sexually abused by two brothers over a

    four year period. It started when i was 8. Thought it was my fault, still kinda do. I mean, if I hadn't been born, it wouldn't of happened. I had the same nightmare night after night. When I finally told someone, I felt so embarrassed. I still do to this day. I couldn't change...
    gr8love gr8love 31-35, F 21 Responses Mar 9

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    I have survived sexual abuse.

    It is as if my life was stolen from me. And now I want it back. I am determined to have it back. I know that the past can't change, but I don't plan to stop living because a bastard decided that I was worth to be only for his pleasure. I grew up trying to please people, being...
    elenix elenix 31-35, F 2 Responses Mar 17

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    Time To Share

    I haven't really talked a whole lot about my past here, but recently, I think I have felt inspired to do so because of the strength of other friends in my circle who have talked about their experience. I think it's important to share, not for the purpose of reliving the...
    deleted deleted 26-30 34 Responses Apr 30, 2011

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    Touch a hot stove and you learn to never touch

    the red coils. Hit a kid and your mom punishes you by hitting you because you aren't supposed to hit kids.
    Qwerkyqwerty Qwerkyqwerty 16-17, F 1 Response Apr 9

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    My mother is a very angry person.

    The memories come back. beatings over things like accidentally dropping a sock, accidentally sleeping in, spilling a glass of milk, etc. the hurtful words that were said to us. i finally left home to escape her and now im homeless
    melodycoates melodycoates 22-25, F 5 Responses Apr 6

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    My step father beat me

    and my sisters and brother regularly as a parenting technique. I've held onto these horrific memories most of my life and it's affected my parenting techniques I have a fear of whipping my child even a tap.
    lonelyCPA lonelyCPA 36-40, F 4 Responses Mar 22

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    At Least I Am Not Like Them

    The sick SOB that donated the ***** to create me used to like to get drunk and high. He would start by telling me how stupid, weak, and useless I was.  Then he would whip himself into a real anger and start swinging.  He would literally pound my head into the wall.  I...
    lyricaldemise lyricaldemise 36-40 2 Responses Nov 14, 2012

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    Here is my story. I was 4 years old.

    Too young to remember any old experience, too scared to forget it. His name is Ross. He was in his early 20s. I was at his moms house (he lived there but was moving out) and our moms were best friends. Our moms went to dinner together and I snuck away to go adventure her house...
    lindsayanon lindsayanon 16-17, F 1 Response Mar 11

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    Can kids or adult survivors of child abuse sue

    thier parents? The answer is complicated. The short answer is no. http://whatprivilege.com/abused-kids-cant-really-sue-their-parents/
    Ishtaria Ishtaria 41-45, F 2 Responses Apr 11

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    My Father And I

    It was Saturday, I hated Saturdays! My mother being a motor welder/winder used to love Saturdays. She would dress up from head to toe to meet her friends for lunch then do groceries. She'd be gone for hours. I can remember begging to go with her and she'd always say "No", my...
    SparkofHope SparkofHope 46-50, F 21 Responses Sep 26, 2013

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    I have carried the guilt

    and pain with me for over 30 years never telling anyone what had happened. Its only now i find the strength to talk about the abuse. Why does it have to be so hard. I have days when i just want to end it all but somehow just keep on going.
    alexed65 alexed65 46-50, M 4 Responses Mar 7

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    Thoughts On Forgiveness

    This is mainly copied from a response I made to someone on a group about forgiving your abusers. Forgiveness is a route that many survivors choose to take.  And that's great.  If it's what's actually right for them.  But it is not the only route to take.  It is not necessary...
    TruthSpeaks71 TruthSpeaks71 41-45 8 Responses Aug 30, 2012

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    what to do?! what to do?

    ! what to do?!
    madbutterfly madbutterfly 13-15, F Mar 10

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    Abuse Comes In Many Forms and Degrees

      When I was a teenager, my mom kicked my step dad out when I told her he'd been sexually abusing my sister and me. There were tears and hugs that one night and then everything was expected to go on as normal. My mom acted like she didn't want to put us through a...
    sufirehorse66 sufirehorse66 41-45, F 32 Responses Aug 27, 2009

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    Letter To My 7 Year Old Self

    Hey Kiddo… There are some things you need to know about the stuff you are going through right now. Some of this won’t make sense for a long time. And some of it will go against everything you know about yourself and the people around you. But it needs to be said. 1) It...
    MisfitChris MisfitChris 41-45 3 Responses Jul 31, 2013

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    My Mother Destroyed Me

    When I was a child my mother abused me mentally, verbally, emotionally and physically. She used to beat me in the face and head, call me names, pull my hair and made me believe I was worthless. For most of my childhood, I didn't realize I was being abused. I guess I just...
    AyselMoonbaby AyselMoonbaby 31-35, F 70 Responses Mar 18, 2011

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    I'm back. I see I was right

    that nobody would care, but that's ok. I can't blame you. Looking back over my life, I am a ****** up person. From being told I don't have a soul, to being beat in front of guests , to having a loaded handgun pointed at me, all by my father. I am one of the loneliest people in...
    Yearsgoby Yearsgoby 18-21, M 1 Response Apr 13

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    "What Happens In This House, Stays In This House."

    That was the catchphrase growing up with my parents. As an adult, hearing something like that sends alarm bells ringing. This is a story of how abuse and neglect nearly ruined me, but hasn't. I am two short years away from being thirty years old, and it's only through writing on...
    littledharmabum littledharmabum 26-30, F 24 Responses Mar 30, 2008

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    I am back in my home town

    for the first time after I started my therapy. Right now I am missing it alot. Here I am again amongst those I hide so much from and I have no one to share the pain I keep to myself. I actually miss the weekly probing of my emotions and why I keep so much to myself. I have...
    lostinit lostinit 31-35 1 Response Apr 2

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    Going through all those memories really hurts .

    The pain they cost made me creat a world inside my head which made me really happy .. Yes I was abused as a child ,both emotionally and physically by my parents ,aunts and uncles . They believe that saying stuff to a child wont hurt him ..but I swear I still hear their bad...
    ludee94 ludee94 18-21, F 2 Responses Apr 1

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    madbutterfly madbutterfly 13-15, F 6 Responses Mar 9

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    My Mother Let A Man Rape Me When I Was 10 Years Old

    When I was born my parents were in the process of getting a divorce. It wasnt long before my mother found someone else to take my fathers place. The knew man named Paul was in my mothers life for about 13 years total before they finally broke up. Paul had more than one girlfriend...
    17andSexXii 17andSexXii 18-21, F 35 Responses Jan 5, 2011

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    Ode to My mother Calmly committing evil,

    impervious to the screams of her victim Methodical, business like, as though this is a task that must be completed At times smiling, pleased with herself, pleased with her work, a sense of pride in her evil No, no, no! She doesn't hear. Stop, stop, stop! She continues on...
    Smilenbhappy Smilenbhappy 46-50, F 1 Response Apr 2

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    It started when my mom married my stepfather.

    He would use any mistake I made as an excuse to punish me. The punishment was always sadistic compared to the silly mistakes a 4 year old could make. I won't go into detail because it's very intense and graphic and it's hard for me to get them out. Years later he had a mental...
    Zacarabear Zacarabear 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 24

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    Here's A Thought...

    Just think about it, if you disagree, please tell me why I'm wrong. I won't clobber you over it, ok? ( I reserve the right to be wrong, I *don't* have to be perfect, and neither do you. ) Our abusers were weak. Weak people. They wanted to project that weakness outward, so they...
    hylierandom hylierandom 41-45 12 Responses Jul 20, 2013

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    Happy People And Me

    I was abused verbally, physically, sexually.The main one being my dad, although it was my uncle who raped me first.But my dad had continued access, and he used it.My mom worked every night-well, five days a week, and...yeah.So my experience is that the worst thing that can...
    hylierandom hylierandom 41-45 27 Responses Jun 27, 2011

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    My Dad

    I am 40 years old, and a survivor of child abuse. Although it seems so far away now, I choose to write because I am so moved by the other stories on here. I hope that I can be of help to some of you. The pain we endured cannot be reversed, but perhaps we can do something to...
    SleeplessKnight SleeplessKnight 41-45, M 9 Responses Jun 19, 2013

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