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I Am a Child Abuse Survivor

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 10,739 People

    Happy People And Me

    I was abused verbally, physically, sexually.The main one being my dad, although it was my uncle who raped me first.But my dad had continued access, and he used it.My mom worked every night-well, five days a week, and...yeah.So my experience is that the worst thing that can...
    hylierandom hylierandom 41-45 26 Responses Jun 27, 2011

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    Since I'm new here, I won't go into a lot of

    details. To be honest, I remember very little of my life before I was adopted at age 6. Before that is mostly blank. What I do remember crushes my spirit, and frightens me. Often I relive a murder I witnessed at age 5, and I cannot, though I have tried, deal with that as a...
    WilliamBennett WilliamBennett 61-65, M 4 Responses Feb 15

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    My Father And I

    It was Saturday, I hated Saturdays! My mother being a motor welder/winder used to love Saturdays. She would dress up from head to toe to meet her friends for lunch then do groceries. She'd be gone for hours. I can remember begging to go with her and she'd always say "No", my...
    SparkofHope SparkofHope 46-50, F 19 Responses Sep 26, 2013

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    Strong

    Please be aware, the story may contain triggers. Please stop reading if you feel you've had enough. I need to write and share this, but there is no need for you to suffer from what I wrote. Today I feel strong. Usually I use those days to be merry and happy, but today I...
    Idonwannadie Idonwannadie 46-50, M 14 Responses Sep 27, 2012

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    At Least I Am Not Like Them

    The sick SOB that donated the ***** to create me used to like to get drunk and high. He would start by telling me how stupid, weak, and useless I was.  Then he would whip himself into a real anger and start swinging.  He would literally pound my head into the wall.  I...
    lyricaldemise lyricaldemise 36-40, T 2 Responses Nov 14, 2012

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    a problem I feel powerless too.

    ..I stayed with my best friends sister(jess) after my dad died and she became a good friend also she much older. She always had trouble finding love and about four years ago she married this man shed only known for six months. two years in they have two daughters. this past year...
    ericaswife11 ericaswife11 26-30, F 1 Response Mar 20

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    When I was five years old,

    I did something to upset my father. I still don't know what that was, but I know what the consequences were. My sleeves were never long enough to cover the bruises that seemed to stretch on for miles. The ones on my arms were from being grabbed hard and thrown or pulled. The...
    myar myar 26-30, M 3 Responses 3 days ago

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    I have shared the details of my nightmarish

    childhood in a previous post. But as I was looking over my profile page and saw this group I had to be thankful that while I was abused mentally, physically, and neglected I also am the cycle breaker in this tragic family trait. My mother was abused by my grandfather and she...
    LadyHawke68 LadyHawke68 46-50, F 3 Responses Feb 26

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    I'm also a child abuse survivor this is the

    only thing destroying my heart my soul my life this pain of feeling someone used my weakness took my innocence and made me a destroyed person and having chronic feeling of anxiety fears having Many phobias being alive but dead inside I d want to meet anyone like me and talk...
    emmadarko emmadarko 22-25, F 7 Responses 2 days ago

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    For a long time i used 2 blame myself

    for the physical, mental & sexual abuse that was inflicted on me, blamed myself because i used to beg to God and beg in my head please make him come to me and not my wee sister or brother or my mother.
    Pennycaca Pennycaca 36-40, F 1 Response Feb 1

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    My Parents

    I have never received a hug or kiss from my parents. If I have I don't remember it. I've never gotten a birthday present or blown out candles. I didn't know kids got all this until I made real friends in 5th grade. I didn't understand. My friends don't understand how I could get...
    atraptbird atraptbird 16-17, F 34 Responses Jun 28, 2009

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    I have carried the guilt

    and pain with me for over 30 years never telling anyone what had happened. Its only now i find the strength to talk about the abuse. Why does it have to be so hard. I have days when i just want to end it all but somehow just keep on going.
    alexed65 alexed65 46-50, M 4 Responses Mar 7, 2014

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    I was sexually abused by two brothers over a

    four year period. It started when i was 8. Thought it was my fault, still kinda do. I mean, if I hadn't been born, it wouldn't of happened. I had the same nightmare night after night. When I finally told someone, I felt so embarrassed. I still do to this day. I couldn't change...
    gr8love gr8love 31-35, F 19 Responses Mar 9, 2014

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    Nothing But Pain And Questions My parents were

    never bad parents. They weren't alcoholics, they never hit me and they always made sure there was food on the table. But I always wondered how they never knew? My abuse was systematic and lasted many years. All of the alone time I spent with that person. My stunted development...
    CoopSmith CoopSmith 26-30, M 1 Response Feb 24

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    Why We Keep Bringing It Up...an Essay

    So…dragonofjapan said something: “Yes, you were abused, but what are you going to do about it right now?” So I was thinking about that. What a lot of abuse survivors do…appears like wallowing. In some cases, it may actually be wallowing…but for most of us… What...
    hylierandom hylierandom 41-45 54 Responses Jan 20, 2012

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    Power Is Rebellion. It will serve you well to

    place the people behind bars. or at least destroy them emotionally, spiritually.
    Gabster27 Gabster27 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 18

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    It started as far back

    as I can remember. My dad first, touching me where I shouldn't be touched. Then my brother raping me when I was 9. It went on for many years, but when I turned 12, the unthinkable happened. My "friend" took me to a party in my neighborhood. But it wasn't a party. I met a 30 year...
    darebearsworld darebearsworld 16-17, F 3 Responses Feb 28

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    I’m not sure when the latter state of mind

    ended and the former started. It’s like the event horizon of a black hole The outcome is obvious but it’s conception is hidden in plain sight. Ignored symptoms manifest themselves as an inability to progress forward. At this point, the only option is to cease functioning...
    Bonocular Bonocular 56-60, M Jan 31

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    Many do not understand regression.

    Oh, they know the definition, but when a child or adult regresses a desire to understand the root cause is usually overcome by discomfort and a need to change the behavior. Children and adults that have been diagnosed with paraphilic infantilism, or who suffer from it but have...
    brokenat5 brokenat5 61-65, M 1 Response Feb 28

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    To me, my parents were just *****

    and egg donors . They have some kind of love towards us in them, and they are good people now i think, but that doesn't matter to me anymore. I've established boundaries and don't intend to ever see them again. If I'm out of state, I likely might not even attend their funerals...
    Ajushi Ajushi 41-45, M 3 Responses Jan 6

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    Abuse Comes In Many Forms and Degrees

      When I was a teenager, my mom kicked my step dad out when I told her he'd been sexually abusing my sister and me. There were tears and hugs that one night and then everything was expected to go on as normal. My mom acted like she didn't want to put us through a...
    sufirehorse66 sufirehorse66 46-50, F 32 Responses Aug 27, 2009

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    Being a survivor is something I embrace in

    myself. I could ponder endlessly as to why I experienced the trauma... and believe me, I have. But honestly, I've fought hard to put it behind me and rise above... to end the nightmare of the storm it created within me. Surviving is about living... and life is too short for...
    WithGracefulness WithGracefulness 46-50, F 10 Responses Jan 26

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    My Dad

    I am 40 years old, and a survivor of child abuse. Although it seems so far away now, I choose to write because I am so moved by the other stories on here. I hope that I can be of help to some of you. The pain we endured cannot be reversed, but perhaps we can do something to...
    SleeplessKnight SleeplessKnight 41-45, M 8 Responses Jun 19, 2013

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    Here's A Thought...

    Just think about it, if you disagree, please tell me why I'm wrong. I won't clobber you over it, ok? ( I reserve the right to be wrong, I *don't* have to be perfect, and neither do you. ) Our abusers were weak. Weak people. They wanted to project that weakness outward, so they...
    hylierandom hylierandom 41-45 11 Responses Jul 20, 2013

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    I was abused from the time

    that I was 4 until 21 years old. I was sexually abused when I was 4 years old. When I tried to tell my mom, she threatened to beat me. Then I was physically, sexually, verbally and mentally abused constantly until I left for college. My parents were also in a religious cult for...
    KateMorrow92 KateMorrow92 22-25, F 2 Responses Feb 9

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    When I was like 5 my moms boyfriend would abuse

    me and my brothers everyday until she got home it was a living hell.
    Marines75 Marines75 13-15, M 8 Responses Mar 22

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    I had a flashback the other day.

    I went to get in the shower and it happened. I was back in that house, in the bathroom, the water in the tub was filling with scolding hot water. Then he throws me in it. Im screaming, fighting for air. My skin is burning and I feel like im gonna die. Finally he lets me out...
    darebearsworld darebearsworld 16-17, F Mar 18

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    I have so many abuses being child,

    I don't know what to say..
    xRohit xRohit 31-35, M 1 Response Feb 16

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    A Few Words Of Encouragement

    before i let anyone in on my abuse story, i just want to say how grateful we should all be that we even RECOGNIZE that we were abused. there are many people who take tons of therapy to learn these things about their lives. i had to teach myself through small baby steps how to do...
    foldedunfolding foldedunfolding 31-35, F 16 Responses Jun 1, 2012

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    HOW TO HEAL YOUR BRAIN: 1.

    READ THESE BOOKS TO UNDERSTAND WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR BRAIN AND HOW TO IMPROVE IT. What happened is you lacked human intimacy and attachment. You were starved for love, and if you're still lacking healthy intimate attachment relationship as an adult, then you are still some...
    Ajushi Ajushi 41-45, M 3 Responses Jun 5, 2014

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    We would like to believe

    as a society that we build prisons for the evil that are in this world. The reality is the most evil are often the ones that are too clever to allow themselves to be locked up. They are true sociopaths, and they reproduce torturing the most innocent. They are ugly with their...
    venusdi venusdi 70+, F 16 Responses Feb 3, 2014

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    I've known for a long time

    that I was emotionally abused by my mom and dad. Separately. Recently though I've started having memories slowly leak in that tell me that I was sexually abused as well. I was always glad that I could talk about the emotional abuse to my support people, but I feel like I can't...
    chococat159 chococat159 18-21 2 Responses Feb 14

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    This is only a small amount of the abuse

    that has happened in my childhood. It happened by many people for a long time. But this is what I need to talk about right now. I have a very large amount of stuff to talk about. I just got out of therapy and I'm just shaking like a leaf right now. It was a very difficult...
    ChantelSurvived ChantelSurvived 22-25, F 3 Responses Mar 24

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    My brother from so long ago physically sexually

    verbally abused me I was a frightened little girl who was always hiding n running away but was always found Very very violent n strong I tried to stop him but felt paralysed back then I wanted to shout stop but the words wouldn't come out n I had no realisation to tell...
    LATEENO79 LATEENO79 31-35, F 4 Responses Jan 29

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    My Mother Let A Man Rape Me When I Was 10 Years Old

    When I was born my parents were in the process of getting a divorce. It wasnt long before my mother found someone else to take my fathers place. The knew man named Paul was in my mothers life for about 13 years total before they finally broke up. Paul had more than one girlfriend...
    17andSexXii 17andSexXii 18-21, F 45 Responses Jan 5, 2011

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    THE TALL POLICEMAN DIDNT LISTEN:It was in May.

    . Still too cold for the public swimming pool to be opened..We lived in Vernayaz, a very small village, close to a town called Martigny, where the public pool was...I was with my friend Sandra who was 7 or 8 like me. It was after lunch, we were walking my dog near an electricity...
    Sorrentina Sorrentina 41-45, F 12 Responses Jul 6, 2014

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    Alright i was molested by my great uncle,

    brother and aunt. My stepmom went crazy after her first born died when i was 9. He died when my dad was in jail. My dad had to go to the funeral in a jumpsuit and cuffs around wrists and ankles. My stepmom used to lock herself in the bathroom with knives and scream bloody...
    onefedupgirl onefedupgirl 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 20

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    I have this crush on a boy at my school.

    But, I don't know how I will react to dating and having to be physical towards him (holding hands, talking, etc.) I don't know if I am capable of being loved anymore. Would he want me if he knew about my past? Im scared. I don't know if im ready for this...
    darebearsworld darebearsworld 16-17, F 2 Responses 5 days ago

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    YesSir3845 YesSir3845 16-17, F 4 Responses Mar 21

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    When I was on this website into thousand 13 I

    posted a story about my child abuse. That part of my life is now behind me. I am grateful for a wonderful psychologist and a wonderful God. I'm not going to repost the story because it would be fruitless. But anyone who needs to talk please message me. My name is Bob. I know I...
    lovlife777 lovlife777 46-50, M 2 Responses 6 days ago

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    The most difficult part

    for me, being a survivor, is the blatant denial from the parent who did the abusing. The lies, blaming, ridicule.... it's infuriating. I've been reading articles about narcissism, the meaning, and the traits of it. It's been very healing. Maybe it can help someone else too...
    Pinkizink Pinkizink 41-45, F 4 Responses 2 days ago

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    This Is My Story...

    It's something I have always put away something that I have tried to forget something I don't normally talk about. But lately I'm thinking a lot I think about a lot of things... I'm thinking about the new direction I want to take in life I have decided to close this first chapter...
    surrealreality surrealreality 31-35, F 23 Responses Oct 14, 2011

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    My cousin molested me

    since i was to young to remember. I started to realize it was wrong around the ages of 7-8. He slept over all the time practically lived with me. I started to tie my pajamas really tight or wear jeans to bed but he would always get them off. One night i stayed up till the...
    Prettygurl234 Prettygurl234 16-17, F 8 Responses Nov 22, 2014

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    Talking about my past still makes my skin creep,

    my butt pucker, and my emotions go on overdrive. It always makes me cry, and I've learned to just go with it. Crying is cleansing. It is the terror that insidiously seeps into my subconscious mind that is the worst. My dreams last night were unusually terrifying! I hate...
    brokenat5 brokenat5 61-65, M 1 Response Feb 1

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    I Am Striving To Thrive

    For now, I am a survivor. My parents were teenage hippies and I do believe they wanted me, but had no idea what they were doing. Not that any parent really knows what they're doing, but some are a lot more prepared by an emotional maturity that most teens are not yet capable of...
    lovevolves8 lovevolves8 36-40, F 3 Responses Oct 15, 2013

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    Dear Daddy, I loved you

    so I hope you know I looked up to you even though You took my grace, you took my faith You made me weak and such a disgrace Just a baby, innocent, and whole You took that a away, all of it you stole And now I am here, shattered and confused How someone so little could take...
    deleted deleted 26-30 17 Responses Dec 5, 2013

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