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I Am a Child Sexual Abuse Survivor

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 580 People

    My Story

    I as far back as I can remember was molested by family members, freinds of family and a neighbor. When i was between the ages of 8 and 9 my stepdad started having sex with me. First by touching then very quickly he started having sex with me on a regular basis. He would give me...
    31-35, F
    11 Responses Nov 2, 2006

    Lot Of Past Abuse....

    I have suffered emotional, physical and sexual abuse as a child. Physical/Emotional- my dad would smack hard: If we did the slightest thing wrong, instead of telling us off(me and my little brother) he would punch us really hard, if we didn't do something exactly how he wanted it...
    OutsideLookingIin OutsideLookingIin
    26-30, F
    Nov 25, 2013

    My Poem Called Please Go Away

    Please go away bad things I beg of you now. I wish to sleep but I don't know how I don't like these memories, or these pictures that I see I screamed and cried but no one ever came to save me Please go away and don't bring any more pain GO AWAY I feel like If you don't I will...
    silverstar415850 silverstar415850
    18-21, F
    5 Responses Feb 28, 2012

    The Abuse Had To Stop

    I was a mere five year old on my uncles knee,Too young to know he was violating me.Too young to know he was treating me bad,I had just turned six when he became my new dad.Too young to know he was doing wrongWhen Daddy put his hands where they dont belong.As I grew I became a...
    debcalquhoun debcalquhoun
    51-55, F
    5 Responses Mar 3, 2011

    I Am A Victim Of Sex Crime

    i am a victim of sex crime for a long time now and i have been for my whole life and now that i am pregnant now my stomach is hurting alot now i was raped in the month of august of this year
    sexcrimevictim sexcrimevictim
    36-40, M
    Nov 4, 2013

    Starbellied Sneeches and Those Without / Humpty Dumpty

    The only things I know The things opposite of love That held me and pet me And hurt me under a warm comfortable blanket Unlike the comfort of silence That took things apart And disappeared beneath Before emerging From darkness replaced by solidity Somehow allowed a small violent...
    spidertorso spidertorso
    36-40, F
    Jun 25, 2013

    Am I Really A Survivor?

    At the age of two both parents began sexually, physically, and mentally abusing me. They starved me i wasnt allowed to look up or anyone in the eyes. my voice was never to be heard. I was one of four children and for reasons I will never know I was the only one they touched. My...
    lovechell69 lovechell69
    41-45, F
    2 Responses Mar 13, 2011

    My 'father' sexually abused me from the age of

    8 till he left at 13. He was never arrested for anything, because by the time I said anything to him, he was already gone. i hate him for destroying my life, what he did to me as a little girl, still hurts me to this day. Some days, I don't feel like a survivor at all.
    NYSlilAngel NYSlilAngel
    26-30, F
    Mar 14, 2014

    when i was 3 i was almost raped.

    my mother had left me and my little brother with her best friends younger brother who was 15 i think. he tried luring me with candy and oreos but i wouldnt go near him. he chased me down picked me up. i was kicking and screaming. he threw me down on the bed and started trying to...
    ijustcantsleeptonight ijustcantsleeptonight
    26-30, F
    Apr 12, 2014

    I'M Going To Admit To You Now Some Of The Terrible Things I Did

    I will explain why I think I did these things first, but it is not an excuse because there are no excuses for being cruel to someone else. I believe that the children who sexually hurt me when I was a child were probably also abused by adults and I believe I hurt them back...
    spidertorso spidertorso
    36-40, F
    Jun 26, 2013

    My Older Sister Made Me Show Her My Body When I Was 10yo

    When I was 10 years old my parents left for a week to stay in hospital with my grandfather who was very ill nearly dying living real far away from us. During that week my older sister, then 14 years old treat me real bad, she would insist she was in charge of the house and had...
    box750 box750
    31-35, M
    3 Responses Jan 29, 2008

    Loving It

    Not only did my three sisters and I have playfull sex all the time but from the age of five I had to share a bed every night with an older brother. Almost everynight I would wake up and find that my brother was sucking on my ----- , and I would lay there and let him.I had my...
    Drywallman31 Drywallman31
    46-50, M
    2 Responses Sep 2, 2013

    My Abuse Happened A Long Time Ago In West Germany

    I am a 49 year old that now resides in the USA. Since last year I have started emotional therapy. It's something that I did not wanted to deal with. I had therapy when me and my deceased husband was divorcing and then reconsealing because he was dying of cancer . He had no one to...
    angelika64 angelika64
    51-55, F
    Sep 5, 2013

    Afraid Of Sex

    Hey guys. I haven't written on here before, but y'all can probably guess what I'm about to explain from the title. I was sexually abused by my step father for three years straight, and it's not that I'm afraid of sex, but I am worried because I'm almost to the point of marriage...
    hltangway hltangway
    22-25, F
    Oct 9, 2013

    Abused At Age 9 By Older Brother, But Liked It.

    It all started when I was 9 years old... it was thunderstorming in the middle of the night and I was afraid, I hated thunderstorms.. I would usually go into my parents room, but they were in a different state for work, and my older sister (19 years) was watching my brother and I...
    hipkids434 hipkids434
    22-25, F
    3 Responses Sep 18, 2013

    My Abuse Happened A Long Time Ago In West Germany

    I am a 49 year old that now resides in the USA. Since last year I have started emotional therapy. It's something that I did not wanted to deal with. I had therapy when me and my deceased husband was divorcing and then reconsealing because he was dying of cancer . He had no one to...
    angelika64 angelika64
    51-55, F
    1 Response Sep 4, 2013

    In The Well

    My stories on this site have not been good ones. This one is no better. In the summer between 5th and 6th grade, my family moved yet again, and this time we wound up in an old run daown farm house. When I say run down, I mean crawling with roaches, no plumbling and filth from the...
    graychylde graychylde
    36-40, F
    2 Responses Oct 6, 2011

    I was so young ! Still in diapers maybe 2-3 idk

    but all I know is my uncle was 11 or 12 he tried to to rape me but could not get it up , thankful but I still remember years after he'd always pull my pants down and try to get me to sit on his lap I would fight back and avoid him and I just knew it was wrong but never said...
    klslucas klslucas
    Aug 8, 2014

    I Still See Him Every Christmas

    It started when I was 3 and ended when I was 6 1/2, that's when my mother left him.  He was my stepfather, and my brothers father, he was also physically abusive.....If given the choice I'd rather be hit than made to touch him, or to have to let him touch me.  It's...
    keyna keyna
    36-40, F
    7 Responses Apr 20, 2008

    I'm 39 and have been abused

    since I was most likely 2. Throughout the last decade or so, I have been wanting to reach out to other survivors, to tell them not to give up. There is will get easier. I finally decided to start a blog about healing. I want to give everyone hope by sharing my...
    JenuineHope JenuineHope
    41-45, F
    Jan 16, 2014

    I am new to Experience Project.

    I came here to find forums about sexual abuse because I have been experiencing some flashbacks of late and I feel extremely alone... I don't really know where to begin, to be honest. At age 4, a neighbor boy at least 10 years older than I crossed our lawns after he found me...
    hearts2inspire hearts2inspire
    22-25, F
    1 Response Dec 24, 2013

    A Letter to the Old Man... For All My Fellow Survivors That Are Dealing With the Pain Still. It Will Get Better Just Reach Out.

    I could have written the letter below myself before I met my EP/RL friend, AC.  The man single handedly changed fungirl’s life forever. I had taken steps to help others and given immense amounts of money to the cause, but I had never taken myself back. He helped me...
    fungirlmmm fungirlmmm
    46-50, F
    26 Responses Aug 11, 2008

    My Neighbor Abused Me For Years

    When I was four years old, my family moved to a new home. It wasn't long after that when my neighbor, a grown man with children of his own, started molesting me. First, what I remember was him rubbing up against my bottom and then pulling my pants down. I also remember him, at...
    TotallyMiffed TotallyMiffed
    Oct 8, 2011

    Child Sexual Abuse Survivor Sleepover - No Sicko's Allowed!!!!!!

    Can somebody please just post something or respond??? I'm trying to find other people to identify with.. I'm tired of getting 400-some people reading my posts but nobody responds. I need somebody to share random **** with me. I'm one of those creatures that were abused as a child...
    spidertorso spidertorso
    36-40, F
    2 Responses Jul 18, 2013

    Abused By Brother Flashbacks of Father

    I was sexualy abused by my brother from the age of 5 to the age of 9 it all came out when I was 13 it was my sister that told my mum about it as my brother rubbed him self on her when she was 8 I rememberd what my brother did to me.. the police came out. my brother admitted...
    prodigygirl prodigygirl
    5 Responses Mar 31, 2009

    I Get To Do "Eye Movement Desensitization And Reprocessing" Treatment!

    I don't actually know if this is a good thing, but I'm really excited about it. That treatment is for PTSD, originally a treatment created for Veterans and is still the most successful treatment for them. It's supposed to help bring you back to a flash-back sort of state in which...
    spidertorso spidertorso
    36-40, F
    Jul 19, 2013

    Homeschooler Abused By Brother For Years

    I was brought up in a reformed christian homeschooling group. I was not allowed to wear pants and do normal activities as it may come across not modest enough. However, this did not stop me from being sexually abused from the age of 5 to 12 years by my brother who is only 7 years...
    LifeExtra LifeExtra
    22-25, F
    1 Response Jun 26, 2013

    Abusive Family Men

    Growing up, I can remember my brother and cousin abusing me. They would have me touch them or they would try to have sex with me. We have about 5 years in age difference and I believe I am a victim because I was so little I didn't fully understand what they were doing and that...
    Collegegirl14 Collegegirl14
    18-21, F
    8 Responses Aug 13, 2012

    The Man Trapped

    as I enter by early 20s I am plagued by the memory of my molestation , it has robbed be the confidence to be intimate with women and as a result I never moved on pass the friend stage . With that beign said people assume I am gay due to that reason. It is not that I am not...
    johnj91 johnj91
    26-30, M
    Oct 27, 2013

    Some People Deserve To Get Punished!

    In 1996 when I was 9 Years old my dad got an assignment to Dubai to live there for two years. We made friends with a petrol attendant and invited him home for dinner. Then he came regularly and we used to hangout alot. In 1997 when I was 10 years we decided to go for a swim and...
    speed179 speed179
    26-30, M
    4 Responses Jun 18, 2013

    A Little Boys Hell

    At the age of 4and5 i was molested by the piece of **** scumbag lowlife brother of my moms piece of **** lowlife scumbag second husband,who was at the sametime molesting my two older mom was working most of thetime when this was going on and didn't know about it.when...
    Revengerage316 Revengerage316
    36-40, M
    Oct 9, 2013

    How do I write this all down?

    This may take me hours to finish but it may only end up being a short read for you. My parents devorced pretty much the moment I was born. I don't know what it's like to have two parents in the same house or what a good Mom or Dad is. My Mom did try to 'save me or help me' but...
    ToBeHuman ToBeHuman
    22-25, F
    1 Response Jan 14, 2014

    Hardest Group For Me to Join

    Since I started here I have seen this group title and similiar ones, and it has given me a pang from within.  I know I have always said would be open and honest but I could not join this group, I clicked a few times and then quickly left before it would turn up in the feed...
    deleted deleted
    15 Responses Sep 29, 2008

    I Need Help

    I was abused when I was a child, its something I know and accept and have lived with for more than half my life. Due to what happened to me as a child I find it hard to completely trust men and open up. I am very protective of myself and when it came to sex I wanted to pick...
    elle719 elle719
    Oct 23, 2013

    I wrote a little poem__ In the crowd I fake a

    smile In the dark you become the knight Every day you were the same But the pain was never the same Comb my hair hold me tight Say my name one more time Your touch is always the same So cold so rusty The pain was never the same Same routine every day Fake a smile and keep...
    00Broken00 00Broken00
    18-21, F
    Apr 14, 2015

    Wish I Was Dead

    (triggers ahead)......I was asleep last night and dreaming and my wife came in and hugged me from behind...and I woke up to what I thought was him...I remember him pushing against me from behind, telling me to keep my legs together tightly as he rubbed himself between them to...
    hylierandom hylierandom
    7 Responses Jul 11, 2011

    I was forcibly molested

    as a young teen. It damaged my confidence sexually and I have never been able to get close to aman aagain.
    Loopy77 Loopy77
    36-40, F
    1 Response Sep 19, 2014

    Trying Again

    “Please lock the door when you leave for work, I'm not feeling well; I'm going to take a shower and lie down.” Took a shower and went back to the room. Turned around and he was standing there, smiling (she forgot to lock the door). Didn’t know what to say, was a bit...
    deleted deleted
    1 Response Oct 14, 2012

    The Story I Wish Wasn't Mine

    I will try to write this down. Two years ago I was scouting football teams online for my 8 year old son when I came across my childhood team. I was checking out the coaches of the teams and then it happened. There he was coaching the 12 to 14 year olds. At that moment...
    john0806 john0806
    36-40, M
    6 Responses May 22, 2010

    NOT Looking For Sympathy.. I Just Want All Victims 2 Know It Isn't Their Fault!

    This is something that I have never written about before. I may not have the strength to even get through this story because I choose not to think about it often but I also must share it.  I am not looking for your sympathy as I am past that point in my life but I am asking...
    fungirlmmm fungirlmmm
    46-50, F
    38 Responses Jul 5, 2008

    Are There Coping Strategies?

    I grew up in a big family.Very tight on space,there was a lot of anger in our household.We didnt go hungry but we did go unhappy.For whatever reason or maybe its typical ,there seemed to be an early sexual awareness in me.I dont really remember my father kissing my mother or...
    bluechafer bluechafer
    51-55, M
    Jul 16, 2013

    Starting to Remember

    I feel lost at the moment...I never know what is coming - when the next memory will surface and what it will reveal...I have started to remember the years I had lost...i am at times terrified...suddenly for no reason i will feel confused, hurt, worthless, i am...
    Flugelblues Flugelblues
    31-35, F
    9 Responses Oct 2, 2008

    Does Anyone Else Feel This Way....

    Its more of a question then my story. I was sexual abused by a lot of people when I was younger...And ever since then I always had a rape fantasy. I always felt like it I could roleplay getting raped by my fiance  then it would make then pain go away, that if I could control...
    Sayde709 Sayde709
    18-21, F
    5 Responses Jun 25, 2011

    Stolen Childhood

    i have never really told anyone about this my wife knows and i told my mother about ten years ago but i think it is now starting to affect my marriage and i love my wife very much   ok the abuse started when my mom rented a top floor apartment from this older man and...
    jack36 jack36
    6 Responses Mar 5, 2009

    I was about 4 or 5 and he was 9 years older.

    He was my step-dads brother. I blocked it out for years and after I started having sex I slowly started remembering. I asked my mom she confirmed it. She was told by a therapist that I was too young and I'll forget everything. But those repressed memory's started flowing. His...
    Phoenixfeatherjade Phoenixfeatherjade
    26-30, F
    Mar 18, 2016

    My Family's Secret

    I suppressed the memories of what happened to me for years. I've opened up within the last 3 years and let it be known what I suffered through my whole childhood. I was abused by my grandfather since I was too young to remember. It stopped at the age 11 only because I stopped...
    Anicole19 Anicole19
    22-25, F
    Oct 18, 2013

    Only A Toddler

    at that age it first happened my 13 year old bro and my father would rape me in the bum as hard as they could my bro was first he would put me on my stomach and force his penis in my bum and it hurt a lot i screamed and cried , and i bleed , but then it was my fathers turn his...
    deleted deleted
    4 Responses Mar 26, 2013

    No More Secrets, No More Hiding

    It's time for me to be open, to myself and to whoever you are who's reading this. (Background Info) I'm almost 17 years old, and I was sexually abused ages 4-7. May of 2011 was when I finally told my parents. I only told them, so they'd understand why I was, the way I was. At...
    xxworthlessartist xxworthlessartist
    18-21, F
    10 Responses Jul 22, 2012

    Will My Skin Ever Stop Crawling?

    Why is it that your face still haunts me during my most intimate moments? Why is it that when i close my eyes, your face is embedded in my skull? Why is it that you can go on with your life never thinking twice and i sit up countless nights from your haunting memory...
    writingmyrelease writingmyrelease
    26-30, F
    15 Responses Apr 27, 2010

    Just Another Boy

    I thiught I was just another boy like everyone in the world was exactly like me, the way she touched me made me do things I thought was normal the way she got other people involved. Let me first go back and tell you a little bit more about myself I'm now 20 can't talk to anyone...
    ben2333 ben2333
    22-25, M
    1 Response Sep 26, 2013

    I Thnik Its About Time That I Talk About This ,

    My story resembles many others, as in my abuser wasnt very creative with his words. "Dont tell anyone about our game, its a secret from everyone but me and you." "Dont be scared, you can trust me" "Youre a very pretty little girl" I remember so little from what happend to me...
    xxworthlessartist xxworthlessartist
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Aug 2, 2011

    Birthday Wishes

    14 years, that's how long I was abused, that's how long I endured the pain that led me to BPD. 14 years of being told my reactions, my feelings, my thoughts were wrong. That I was always wrong...wrong and stupid. 8 of those 14 years were spent locked away, trapped in a room with...
    graychylde graychylde
    36-40, F
    6 Responses Feb 17, 2012

    My Dad

    W hen I was 11, my father molested me. I didn't know it was him at first because he lived with one of his coworkers. His coworker had a bunch of friends over at the house and they were all drinking. I almost felt in my heart, my gut reaction, was daddy why did u do this. I...
    Aminik Aminik
    31-35, F
    10 Responses Nov 1, 2007

    If People Don't Understand Why Do They Still Have An Opinion!!!

    I was abused as a child. From the ages of 6 to 12 my abuser took me from my home a few times a week - my parents happily watched him leave with me...sometimes I would go to him myself - he lived close by. When it began at the age of 6 I was terrified - and I hated him...but over...
    Flugelblues Flugelblues
    31-35, F
    19 Responses May 26, 2009


    I say I am a sexual abuse survivor because I am 21 with a husband who treats me like a princess, a charming 2 year old & a spiritual awakening I would love to share with the world. I was abused for 7 whole years of my life. From the time I was 7 years old to the time I was 14...
    msseaqueen msseaqueen
    22-25, F
    1 Response Oct 12, 2013

    I am a female who was violently sexually abused

    by her mother. My mother got pleasure from trying to damage my sexual areas. She was jealous of my (appropriate) relationship with my father. I have a younger sister who was treated decently. For many years I avoided the emotional damage. I used drugs and alcohol. I was...
    behindacloseddoor behindacloseddoor
    36-40, F
    3 Responses Apr 25, 2014

    I Just Posted This On The "Electra Complex" group, but thought I'd share it with you all

    I was just looking up attracted to father or sex with father on the internet and it seems like most people with this problem are teens. That was when I had the hardest time not trying to have sex with him too, so I'm writing this. When I was a teen I didn't know why I was so...
    spidertorso spidertorso
    36-40, F
    1 Response Jul 8, 2013

    He Touched Me...

       The two of us were 14 years old and shared a cabin on an oceanliner that was sailing to Europe. The trip included 8 boys and an older married couple that were acting as guides for this group of young boys from a church that my family belonged to. The church had...
    minotgran minotgran
    56-60, M
    Sep 6, 2010
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