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I Am a Child Sexual Abuse Survivor

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 584 People

    when i was 3 i was almost raped.

    my mother had left me and my little brother with her best friends younger brother who was 15 i think. he tried luring me with candy and oreos but i wouldnt go near him. he chased me down picked me up. i was kicking and screaming. he threw me down on the bed and started trying to...
    ijustcantsleeptonight ijustcantsleeptonight 26-30, F Apr 12, 2014

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    I was forcibly molested

    as a young teen. It damaged my confidence sexually and I have never been able to get close to aman aagain.
    Loopy77 Loopy77 36-40, F 1 Response Sep 19, 2014

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    Child Sexual Abuse Survivor Sleepover - No Sicko's Allowed!!!!!!

    Can somebody please just post something or respond??? I'm trying to find other people to identify with.. I'm tired of getting 400-some people reading my posts but nobody responds. I need somebody to share random **** with me. I'm one of those creatures that were abused as a child...
    spidertorso spidertorso 31-35, F 2 Responses Jul 18, 2013

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    Just Another Boy

    I thiught I was just another boy like everyone in the world was exactly like me, the way she touched me made me do things I thought was normal the way she got other people involved. Let me first go back and tell you a little bit more about myself I'm now 20 can't talk to anyone...
    ben2333 ben2333 22-25, M 1 Response Sep 26, 2013

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    My Poem Called Please Go Away

    Please go away bad things I beg of you now. I wish to sleep but I don't know how I don't like these memories, or these pictures that I see I screamed and cried but no one ever came to save me Please go away and don't bring any more pain GO AWAY I feel like If you don't I will...
    silverstar415850 silverstar415850 18-21, F 5 Responses Feb 28, 2012

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    A Little Boys Hell

    At the age of 4and5 i was molested by the piece of **** scumbag lowlife brother of my moms piece of **** lowlife scumbag second husband,who was at the sametime molesting my two older sisters.my mom was working most of thetime when this was going on and didn't know about it.when...
    Revengerage316 Revengerage316 36-40, M Oct 9, 2013

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    Trying Again

    “Please lock the door when you leave for work, I'm not feeling well; I'm going to take a shower and lie down.” Took a shower and went back to the room. Turned around and he was standing there, smiling (she forgot to lock the door). Didn’t know what to say, was a bit...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Oct 14, 2012

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    NOT Looking For Sympathy.. I Just Want All Victims 2 Know It Isn't Their Fault!

    This is something that I have never written about before. I may not have the strength to even get through this story because I choose not to think about it often but I also must share it.  I am not looking for your sympathy as I am past that point in my life but I am asking...
    fungirlmmm fungirlmmm 41-45, F 40 Responses Jul 5, 2008

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    Starting to Remember

    I feel lost at the moment...I never know what is coming - when the next memory will surface and what it will reveal...I have started to remember the years I had lost...i am at times terrified...suddenly for no reason i will feel confused, hurt, worthless, dirty...like i am...
    Flugelblues Flugelblues 31-35, F 9 Responses Oct 2, 2008

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    I Am A Victim Of Sex Crime

    i am a victim of sex crime for a long time now and i have been for my whole life and now that i am pregnant now my stomach is hurting alot now i was raped in the month of august of this year
    sexcrimevictim sexcrimevictim 36-40, M Nov 4, 2013

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    Hardest Group For Me to Join

    Since I started here I have seen this group title and similiar ones, and it has given me a pang from within.  I know I have always said would be open and honest but I could not join this group, I clicked a few times and then quickly left before it would turn up in the feed...
    deleted deleted 26-30 15 Responses Sep 29, 2008

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    I was so young ! Still in diapers maybe 2-3 idk

    but all I know is my uncle was 11 or 12 he tried to to rape me but could not get it up , thankful but I still remember years after he'd always pull my pants down and try to get me to sit on his lap I would fight back and avoid him and I just knew it was wrong but never said...
    klslucas klslucas 26-30 Aug 8, 2014

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    Abusive Family Men

    Growing up, I can remember my brother and cousin abusing me. They would have me touch them or they would try to have sex with me. We have about 5 years in age difference and I believe I am a victim because I was so little I didn't fully understand what they were doing and that...
    Collegegirl14 Collegegirl14 18-21, F 8 Responses Aug 13, 2012

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    My Dad

    W hen I was 11, my father molested me. I didn't know it was him at first because he lived with one of his coworkers. His coworker had a bunch of friends over at the house and they were all drinking. I almost felt in my heart, my gut reaction, was daddy why did u do this. I...
    Aminik Aminik 31-35, F 10 Responses Nov 1, 2007

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    Homeschooler Abused By Brother For Years

    I was brought up in a reformed christian homeschooling group. I was not allowed to wear pants and do normal activities as it may come across not modest enough. However, this did not stop me from being sexually abused from the age of 5 to 12 years by my brother who is only 7 years...
    LifeExtra LifeExtra 22-25, F 1 Response Jun 26, 2013

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    Why Is Nobody Else Talking Under This Topic?

    The reason why you are following this topic is because you want to hear and talk about something to do with Child Sexual Abuse. Being a victim of child sexual abuse is not shameful. There is nothing wrong with talking about being abused as a woman, as a man, as a girl, as a boy...
    spidertorso spidertorso 31-35, F Jun 25, 2013

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    Lot Of Past Abuse....

    I have suffered emotional, physical and sexual abuse as a child. Physical/Emotional- my dad would smack hard: If we did the slightest thing wrong, instead of telling us off(me and my little brother) he would punch us really hard, if we didn't do something exactly how he wanted it...
    OutsideLookingIin OutsideLookingIin 22-25, F Nov 25, 2013

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    Will My Skin Ever Stop Crawling?

    Why is it that your face still haunts me during my most intimate moments? Why is it that when i close my eyes, your face is embedded in my skull? Why is it that you can go on with your life never thinking twice and i sit up countless nights from your haunting memory...
    writingmyrelease writingmyrelease 26-30, F 16 Responses Apr 27, 2010

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    My 'father' sexually abused me from the age of

    8 till he left at 13. He was never arrested for anything, because by the time I said anything to him, he was already gone. i hate him for destroying my life, what he did to me as a little girl, still hurts me to this day. Some days, I don't feel like a survivor at all.
    NYSlilAngel NYSlilAngel 26-30, F Mar 14, 2014

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    Am I Really A Survivor?

    At the age of two both parents began sexually, physically, and mentally abusing me. They starved me i wasnt allowed to look up or anyone in the eyes. my voice was never to be heard. I was one of four children and for reasons I will never know I was the only one they touched. My...
    lovechell69 lovechell69 41-45, F 2 Responses Mar 13, 2011

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    Abused By Brother Flashbacks of Father

    I was sexualy abused by my brother from the age of 5 to the age of 9 it all came out when I was 13 it was my sister that told my mum about it as my brother rubbed him self on her when she was 8 I rememberd what my brother did to me.. the police came out. my brother admitted...
    prodigygirl prodigygirl 26-30 5 Responses Mar 31, 2009

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    I Need Help

    I was abused when I was a child, its something I know and accept and have lived with for more than half my life. Due to what happened to me as a child I find it hard to completely trust men and open up. I am very protective of myself and when it came to sex I wanted to pick...
    elle719 elle719 36-40 Oct 23, 2013

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    Birthday Wishes

    14 years, that's how long I was abused, that's how long I endured the pain that led me to BPD. 14 years of being told my reactions, my feelings, my thoughts were wrong. That I was always wrong...wrong and stupid. 8 of those 14 years were spent locked away, trapped in a room with...
    graychylde graychylde 36-40, F 6 Responses Feb 17, 2012

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    Wish I Was Dead

    (triggers ahead)......I was asleep last night and dreaming and my wife came in and hugged me from behind...and I woke up to what I thought was him...I remember him pushing against me from behind, telling me to keep my legs together tightly as he rubbed himself between them to...
    hylierandom hylierandom 41-45 8 Responses Jul 11, 2011

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    I Just Posted This On The "Electra Complex" group, but thought I'd share it with you all

    I was just looking up attracted to father or sex with father on the internet and it seems like most people with this problem are teens. That was when I had the hardest time not trying to have sex with him too, so I'm writing this. When I was a teen I didn't know why I was so...
    spidertorso spidertorso 31-35, F 1 Response Jul 8, 2013

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    My Story

    I as far back as I can remember was molested by family members, freinds of family and a neighbor. When i was between the ages of 8 and 9 my stepdad started having sex with me. First by touching then very quickly he started having sex with me on a regular basis. He would give me...
    ALOSTCHILD ALOSTCHILD 31-35, F 11 Responses Nov 2, 2006

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    No More Secrets, No More Hiding

    It's time for me to be open, to myself and to whoever you are who's reading this. (Background Info) I'm almost 17 years old, and I was sexually abused ages 4-7. May of 2011 was when I finally told my parents. I only told them, so they'd understand why I was, the way I was. At...
    xxworthlessartist xxworthlessartist 18-21, F 10 Responses Jul 22, 2012

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    I wrote a little poem__ In the crowd I fake a

    smile In the dark you become the knight Every day you were the same But the pain was never the same Comb my hair hold me tight Say my name one more time Your touch is always the same So cold so rusty The pain was never the same Same routine every day Fake a smile and keep...
    00Broken00 00Broken00 18-21, F Apr 14, 2015

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    I Still See Him Every Christmas

    It started when I was 3 and ended when I was 6 1/2, that's when my mother left him.  He was my stepfather, and my brothers father, he was also physically abusive.....If given the choice I'd rather be hit than made to touch him, or to have to let him touch me.  It's...
    keyna keyna 36-40, F 9 Responses Apr 20, 2008

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    My Neighbor Abused Me For Years

    When I was four years old, my family moved to a new home. It wasn't long after that when my neighbor, a grown man with children of his own, started molesting me. First, what I remember was him rubbing up against my bottom and then pulling my pants down. I also remember him, at...
    TotallyMiffed TotallyMiffed 56-60 Oct 8, 2011

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    My Abuse Happened A Long Time Ago In West Germany

    I am a 49 year old that now resides in the USA. Since last year I have started emotional therapy. It's something that I did not wanted to deal with. I had therapy when me and my deceased husband was divorcing and then reconsealing because he was dying of cancer . He had no one to...
    angelika64 angelika64 51-55, F Sep 5, 2013

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    I am a female who was violently sexually abused

    by her mother. My mother got pleasure from trying to damage my sexual areas. She was jealous of my (appropriate) relationship with my father. I have a younger sister who was treated decently. For many years I avoided the emotional damage. I used drugs and alcohol. I was...
    behindacloseddoor behindacloseddoor 36-40, F 3 Responses Apr 25, 2014

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    Are There Coping Strategies?

    I grew up in a big family.Very tight on space,there was a lot of anger in our household.We didnt go hungry but we did go unhappy.For whatever reason or maybe its typical ,there seemed to be an early sexual awareness in me.I dont really remember my father kissing my mother or...
    bluechafer bluechafer 51-55, M Jul 16, 2013

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    The Abuse Had To Stop

    I was a mere five year old on my uncles knee,Too young to know he was violating me.Too young to know he was treating me bad,I had just turned six when he became my new dad.Too young to know he was doing wrongWhen Daddy put his hands where they dont belong.As I grew I became a...
    debcalquhoun debcalquhoun 51-55, F 5 Responses Mar 3, 2011

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    The Story I Wish Wasn't Mine

    I will try to write this down. Two years ago I was scouting football teams online for my 8 year old son when I came across my childhood team. I was checking out the coaches of the teams and then it happened. There he was coaching the 12 to 14 year olds. At that moment...
    john0806 john0806 36-40, M 6 Responses May 22, 2010

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    I'M Going To Admit To You Now Some Of The Terrible Things I Did

    I will explain why I think I did these things first, but it is not an excuse because there are no excuses for being cruel to someone else. I believe that the children who sexually hurt me when I was a child were probably also abused by adults and I believe I hurt them back...
    spidertorso spidertorso 31-35, F Jun 26, 2013

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    Does Anyone Else Feel This Way....

    Its more of a question then my story. I was sexual abused by a lot of people when I was younger...And ever since then I always had a rape fantasy. I always felt like it I could roleplay getting raped by my fiance  then it would make then pain go away, that if I could control...
    Sayde709 Sayde709 18-21, F 5 Responses Jun 25, 2011

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    He Touched Me...

       The two of us were 14 years old and shared a cabin on an oceanliner that was sailing to Europe. The trip included 8 boys and an older married couple that were acting as guides for this group of young boys from a church that my family belonged to. The church had...
    minotgran minotgran 56-60, M Sep 6, 2010

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    Ghost

    I say I am a sexual abuse survivor because I am 21 with a husband who treats me like a princess, a charming 2 year old & a spiritual awakening I would love to share with the world. I was abused for 7 whole years of my life. From the time I was 7 years old to the time I was 14...
    msseaqueen msseaqueen 22-25, F 2 Responses Oct 12, 2013

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    Abused At Age 9 By Older Brother, But Liked It.

    It all started when I was 9 years old... it was thunderstorming in the middle of the night and I was afraid, I hated thunderstorms.. I would usually go into my parents room, but they were in a different state for work, and my older sister (19 years) was watching my brother and I...
    hipkids434 hipkids434 22-25, F 3 Responses Sep 18, 2013

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    My Family's Secret

    I suppressed the memories of what happened to me for years. I've opened up within the last 3 years and let it be known what I suffered through my whole childhood. I was abused by my grandfather since I was too young to remember. It stopped at the age 11 only because I stopped...
    Anicole19 Anicole19 18-21, F Oct 18, 2013

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    How do I write this all down?

    This may take me hours to finish but it may only end up being a short read for you. My parents devorced pretty much the moment I was born. I don't know what it's like to have two parents in the same house or what a good Mom or Dad is. My Mom did try to 'save me or help me' but...
    ToBeHuman ToBeHuman 22-25, F 1 Response Jan 14, 2014

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    I am new to Experience Project.

    I came here to find forums about sexual abuse because I have been experiencing some flashbacks of late and I feel extremely alone... I don't really know where to begin, to be honest. At age 4, a neighbor boy at least 10 years older than I crossed our lawns after he found me...
    hearts2inspire hearts2inspire 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 24, 2013

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    Loving It

    Not only did my three sisters and I have playfull sex all the time but from the age of five I had to share a bed every night with an older brother. Almost everynight I would wake up and find that my brother was sucking on my ----- , and I would lay there and let him.I had my...
    Drywallman31 Drywallman31 46-50, M 2 Responses Sep 2, 2013

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