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I Am a Closet Lesbian

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 3,472 People

    I have an amazing boyfriend

    and I care about him but I can't love him. I can't love him because I like girls, not boys... And I've tried and tried and tried so hard to make it work but to me it's just an act. an act I need to keep on playing because I know what my parents and my friends would say if it...
    infinite1994 infinite1994 18-21, F 6 Responses Jan 21

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    This is my first time

    even writing the words "I am a lesbian," so this is a big step for me. I think I've always known (very very deep down, so far down that the thought never even came into my head), but I had my "aha" moment about 7 months ago (in the beginning of my senior year of college). I...
    anonymous0987654 anonymous0987654 22-25, F 2 Responses Apr 4

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    At Least I Can Be Proud Here, Where No One Knows Me.

    Isn't that sad? That we have to live in a worl where the only place we can be ourselves is when we are anonymous. I mean, of course Rose Donovan is not my real name. It is the name of one of my fictional characters. I could not out my real name on here for fear someone I knew...
    LonelySoul LonelySoul 18-21, F 77 Responses Jul 18, 2007

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    I Was Confused For So Long...

    I'm not one of those "I knew since I was 5 years old" lesbians...but I am gay. Very gay. And even though I'm closeted at the moment, I'm proud of who I am and I'm happy with being gay. It took a long time to even understand my sexuality, allow me to explain... When I was 12, a...
    shesaloverofthelight shesaloverofthelight 26-30, F 9 Responses Jul 18, 2013

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    I’m Tired And I’m Coming Out!

    I have been a resident of the closet for a long time. I’m 22! So I have been hiding here for so many years. I used to consider it my comfort zone. A place where I can safely hide my ego from being hurt by homophobes who can’t understand. I am a lesbian. And a few months...
    deleted deleted 26-30 31 Responses Aug 26, 2012

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    I tried so hard to like boys.

    But it just never really worked. When I tried dating guys, after a couple weeks I just couldn't do it anymore, I felt nothing towards them. Every time. I kept trying to go farther with guys sexually and I never felt aroused or good. When I lost my virginity to a guy it was awful...
    SavannaJade SavannaJade 18-21, F 3 Responses Feb 25

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    I am tired of feeling

    so lonely. I just want someone to talk to about anything... The topic doesn't matter... Just knowing that someone is willing to talk would be great. i will be always availbale in gmail chat m id. priyachowdary1089@gamil.com.
    priyachoudary priyachoudary 22-25, F 3 Responses 5 days ago

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    I'm gay (lesbian) and married into the military.

    I got married to get away from a bad situation and I am in a *better situation but I'm still gay on a straight/christian-y military base. I'm lonely and stressed! How do I come out and face possible rejection from everyone? I don't have any real friends. Mostly just...
    KLynnMarie KLynnMarie 18-21, F Apr 7

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    At Fifteen

    My first serious gay relationship happened when I was 15. I'd kissed several girls prior to that, and had a fairly intense sexual experience in grade school, but lesbian lovesexmagic didn't happen till the summer before tenth grade. She was my next door neighbor, a cute...
    deleted deleted 26-30 7 Responses Apr 27, 2013

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    I am using EP to slowly let people know

    that I am a lesbian..I have some barriers to being open...sigh..
    femsweety12 femsweety12 31-35, F 6 Responses Feb 17

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    Many of the homosexual people just go with the

    'bisexual' things just because they don't wanna be hated by other people. It may be not happen to you, but it happens to most of us. To me :)
    itsjennyjaa itsjennyjaa 18-21, F Apr 10

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    There are only 2 more months left

    until I graduate high school, with so many obstacles ahead of me. One of them being that I'm attracted to women and men, more specifically, so far I only know what it's like to have genuine feelings for girls rather than guys. My friends don't know this, though the subject comes...
    agirlwithcurlyhair agirlwithcurlyhair 16-17, F 1 Response Mar 31

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    Am I.. Or Am I Not? Plz Help

    I feel a little weird writing this.. but at the same time i feel so releived that i found a place where i can speak my heart out and there WILL be people who understand me- well at least i hope. This is the first time that im actualli releasing all my thoughts n feelings, so i...
    NoelS NoelS 18-21, F 30 Responses Oct 5, 2008

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    I'm laying in bed tryna do my HW

    when I zooned out and had a sexy dream that I was making out with this girl in my class that I checked out today. But now I can't focus 😔
    Wetgirlxo Wetgirlxo 18-21, F 4 Responses Apr 9

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    I grew up in a family

    that is very religious. They are very anti-homosexual and would never accept me if they knew. I tried to be what they wanted me to be to the extent of marrying a man and having a son. I was miserable and my heart still ached to find the true soul mate I knew was out there. I...
    loanother loanother 36-40, F 6 Responses Jan 27

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    I'm in the closet. I haven't told anyone,

    not even my best friend that I've been close to for 6 years! I'm just so scared! Hopefully I can over come this and tell everyone the truth one day and start living my life without any worries!
    HMWard HMWard 22-25, F 2 Responses Apr 7

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    I want a girlfriend to be out

    and open with. I can't wait to walk down the street hand in hand with a girl and feel normal.
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Apr 13

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    unicornsarerad unicornsarerad 16-17, F 5 Responses Mar 23

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    You know what sucks more

    than missing someone who is not around? missing someone who's right beside you. I am in love my straight best friend. And this is my life. everyday. I love this girl like no one else. She studies with me in our college and we flirt all the time. Kissing on cheeks is no biggie...
    sociopathiccharm sociopathiccharm 22-25, F 4 Responses Feb 15

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    I'm so confused right now.

    Is it normal to want to kiss your best friend? God she's just so sexy she constantly has guys all over her & I don't know if I'm jealous because of all the attention she's getting that I'm not or if it's because there all over what should be mine. She has no idea but I have been...
    Wetgirlxo Wetgirlxo 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 4

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    Lesbian, But I Can't Find Other Lesbians Or Don't Know Where To Look.

    I just joined this site because I saw another person post a similar concern as I have myself, but didn't quite answer all of my questions. I am a lesbian, been with men, been told all of my life being gay is wrong, or "weird", but now that I'm 20 years old I can form my own...
    brookesmelscer18 brookesmelscer18 18-21, F 17 Responses Mar 11, 2012

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    I'm still confused but I guess I'm a 90% lesbian

    because I only wish to be in a relationship with a female. I just want someone that can relate to me and can keep up a conversation. Talking crap is also a form of entertainment :)
    Rachh13 Rachh13 18-21, F 2 Responses Jan 7

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    hey x wanna make some new internet buds we can

    be friends or more than that *coughs* just kidding (or not :p) my name's kath shortened for katherine im 16 turning 17 this year :) drop a msg or anything have a wonderful day ahead lovelies :)
    unicornsarerad unicornsarerad 16-17, F 2 Responses Mar 29

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    My Daughter Is A Closet Lesbian

    I have been wanting to write this story for a long time. This story is a tribute to my one and only daughter. For simplicity I will refer to my daughter as "M". After 5 children and several years of marriage my wife and I divorced. Our youngest, M, thought that I did not love her...
    dst68 dst68 66-70, M 269 Responses Jul 6, 2013

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    I'm 13 but I've always known I'm a lesbian.

    I've started to come out to some friends and family but i realised just how many people I need to come out to. Any tips on how to come out to multiple people at a time?
    Aliensrreal Aliensrreal 13-15, F 1 Response Apr 15

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    I Somehow Feel Safe Here

    i always knew that i was different, different from what is accepted in the society that what i was feeling was not how i should feel.. i've been attracted to the girls since gradeschool, i thought it was normal and it will pass..but it didn't, as time passed by i' got even...
    iLoveLife03 iLoveLife03 18-21, F 11 Responses Feb 4, 2013

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    Dont Know What To Do

    im a student at university and i am a cheerleader but there is a problem im a lesbian and no one knows and i dont know what to do
    amy1200 amy1200 18-21, F 43 Responses Sep 11, 2012

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    I think I am straight

    but I can't stop thinking about having sex with a woman. Am I BI?
    stormymorning stormymorning 18-21, F 5 Responses Mar 29

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    hello i am sanjana(20years) bisexual.

    from hyderabad,AP.looking for a MOC partner from A.P..coming to me...i am a girl wid loving caring sharing friendly and some times funny :P wid traditional values and respect towards my family..i need a bisexual guy between below 28yrs... with well settled hindu guy..who gives...
    sanjana424 sanjana424 18-21, F 4 Responses Apr 7

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    I live in a very homofobic country

    and my family is a very catholic. I just wanna get this feeling out. Nobody knows what I am and I am afraid to tell them. (english is not my first language, sorry any mistakes)
    OrangeCaramel OrangeCaramel 18-21, F 6 Responses Apr 11

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    I am in a relationship with a kind

    and loyal man but have been repressing the fact I'm a lesbian since I was 14. I think I've really messed myself up by denying this part of me for so long and have basically acted straight all my life. I don't know how to tell my friends, family, boyfriend, society.
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Apr 15

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    Willing To Come Out For The Sake Of Love

    I am an average looking girl who has a boring life. I've been hiding inside the closet and now I realized that I've been depriving myself the chance of loving and being loved by someone. I am an introvert and it's quite difficult for me to open up with anyone. I've never been in...
    strikien strikien 26-30, F 13 Responses Mar 9, 2012

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    I'm in a long term relationship with a man

    but over the past few years have come to realise I am attracted to women. I don't know if I was always a lesbian really and suppressed it when I was younger but I guess it doesn't really matter now. I'm not looking for sex talk on here though. I'm a genuine person just trying to...
    EllisRose EllisRose 36-40, F 2 Responses Mar 24

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    weirdo333 weirdo333 16-17, F 1 Response Apr 5

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    do you guys ever just *chuckles awkwardly*

    whenever your parents make a homophobic statement :/
    unicornsarerad unicornsarerad 16-17, F 2 Responses Mar 25

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    I'm a 21 year old from the U.

    K. and would like to talk to others who are in similar situation as me. I have known since I was around 12/13 that I like women but never acted upon my thought and feelings and it was only when I was 18 I think that I opened up to a friend for the first time (drunkenly blurted...
    Char16 Char16 18-21 4 hrs ago

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    I'm a Closeted Lesbian

    I'm not sure how I got to this point. It's like I have two different lives--two sets of friends, two sets of stories; everything split rather unequally to fit into 'gay' and 'normal'. Not straight. Normal. My mother is my idol, and she's the hardest-working, most beautiful...
    Harpertrap Harpertrap 18-21, F 163 Responses Dec 28, 2007

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    In Love With An Older Woman!

    Im in love with this older woman who lost her husband about a year ago. I work with her and its so hard, to not kiss her or tell her my feelings. I want to but feel i need to wait till after the holidays esp being her first christmas and thanksgiving without her her hubby. I know...
    charmnflirt charmnflirt 36-40, F 6 Responses Nov 5, 2012

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    The Closet Gets Cramped

    Hi, my name is Stephanie. :) I am a college student who only recently started coming to terms with my sexuality. I've known for as long as I can remember that I liked girls, but I always did my best to stifle the truth, and keep my feelings buried. This is a huge contributing...
    stephanie929 stephanie929 18-21, F 3 Responses Nov 17, 2013

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    My friend just texted me saying omg I forgot to

    wear a bra! This text got me so tingly I wanna see her!
    Wetgirlxo Wetgirlxo 18-21, F 2 Responses Apr 8

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    Couldn't Change Even If I Wanted Too

    It is scary to be yourself in a world full of hateful people. In a world full of people who don't understand that being gay isn't a choice. It isn't something that you decided. I don't wake up and think "You know what I'm feeling a little gay today." lol. It is something that I...
    EElena EElena 18-21, F 4 Responses Sep 25, 2013

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    What is this? Such insecurity,

    such fear... Clawing through life hoping for an opportunity. The feelings swirl around inside, no place any longer to run to, No place to hide; Constantly a war within herself. The pressures of society mold her, carve her, pick away until she is lost in her own little world. No...
    AGirlOfShadows AGirlOfShadows 13-15, F 2 Responses 20 hrs ago

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    I'm chatting with my friend (the one

    who invited to the movies) and she's talking about how boring is her life and how she wants more emotion in her life. Like feeling the adrenaline in her venis, do something unexpected for what people think of her and I swear to god she's like begging me to come out to her.
    OrangeCaramel OrangeCaramel 18-21, F 2 Responses Apr 13

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    i have a secret relationship with my co worker

    she has a long term girlfriend.. accidentally, we've fallen for each other and we've been like this for 8 mos secretly dating she asked me to wait for her while she fixes things with her current girl she told me she loved me more than her girl and never felt so happy before even...
    chie0429 chie0429 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 1

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    Happy New Year to all!

    I'm Nikki, 23 yrs old. I live in the US and the Caribbean. I recently began exploring these attractions I have towards women and well my family/friends don't know about it and I am pretty anxious and pensive about it so I hope through this site I can meet people going through...
    nikkiHappiness nikkiHappiness 22-25, F 4 Responses Jan 2

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    Why Do People Assume You Choose To Be Gay Or Lesbian?

    Today during my Sociology class, we were talking about deviance and how a lot of psychologists believe that you're born 'bad'. Well, one of my stupid classmates, Ian, said, "I don't believe you can be born bad just as much as you can be born gay,"Well, that got me ticked off. Why...
    WeArePilots WeArePilots 18-21, F 26 Responses Dec 15, 2011

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    I'm a closet lesbian

    and even telling a bunch of strangers on the internet makes me feel a little better :). I grew up in a very close minded homophobic church (more like a very controlling colt). So growing up I was homophobic. When I was about ten my family left the church but kept the homophobic...
    AmeliaTimeLord AmeliaTimeLord 13-15, F 3 Responses Apr 8

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    My Dream About L... Part 2

    I let my arms fall to my side and clenched my hands...repressing every urge..closed my eyes ..afraid to open them to gaze on this mysterious beautiful woman standing before me....Then opened them to see her staring at the floor..flinching......almost cowering ....afraid. I softly...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Oct 2, 2012

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    Sad To Be Left Alone

    It's just sad being left out because she has found someone new. The worst part is, she left me for a guy who doesn't even know how to take care of her. I just hope she'll be happy. I still love her even after she left me, but then again, I can't dwell on the past, I have to move...
    zoiera zoiera 26-30, F 7 Responses Mar 2, 2013

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    My friend that I mentioned in my previous

    stories were having a random/funny convo though text when she said "I need your opinion" she then sent me two pictures of her; 1 in a bikini, 1 in a monokini asking me which one she should buy. I know it probably meant nothing to her other than she couldn't decide and I was just...
    Wetgirlxo Wetgirlxo 18-21, F 2 Responses Apr 15

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    I'm Stuck In Closet-land..

    I'll start at the beginning.. I was a late bloomer in the love department. As a kid, I was always fine with just having fun whereas the other girls were more concerned with who liked who and which boys were the cutest. As much as I tried, I could not get into these conversations...
    ageyutsa ageyutsa 18-21, F 11 Responses Sep 26, 2011

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    So Yeah.......... *update*

    I joined EP days ago and I like it so far. I expressed my feelings through my story called "confused." I said that I was bi, but im having other thoughts and feelings. It has not been a week yet and I am becoming more distant from boys. I find boys attractive, but cannot date...
    Natalie542 Natalie542 13-15, F 16 Responses Aug 10, 2013

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    hey i have something to tell you,

    its exciting actually. i told my mom today that i am gay. first of all she was in a verry good mood, and i told her to listent and i ask her if she would still love me no matter what, and she said yes. so i told her to not scream and yell at me about it. so she was not happy...
    lovefemales lovefemales 22-25, T 1 Response Apr 3

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    Just Can't Tell

    Greetings! I knew I liked females and males ever since I was 12, but I didn't officially become totally a lesbian until I was 28. Weird, huh? Anyway, I have only told a few people in my entire life, and none of those people know my family at all.  I can never publicly come...
    veryshy76 veryshy76 31-35, F 20 Responses Jan 9, 2008

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    Once when I accidentally got drunk at home I

    told my parents (they already knew I was intoxicated by then) that I liked boys and girls (even tho I don't really like boys it just seemed the easiest thing to say then) and they never talked about that to me again and it sucks that my first kinda "coming out" sucked ***. Wow...
    foreverasuperhero foreverasuperhero 16-17, F 4 Responses Apr 10

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    Maddya Maddya 18-21, F 3 Responses Apr 5

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    My girlfriend and I broke up

    because she admitted she was falling really hard for me and I just didn't feel the same way. I really liked her, don't get me wrong. She was such a sweetheart, unbelievably kind hearted. She was selfless and always did her absolute best to help others. I can't control my...
    UniqueToTheCore UniqueToTheCore 22-25, F Mar 24

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