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I Am a Closet Lesbian

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 3,768 People

    My parents don't know

    that im gay but im planning not to tell them for as long as i can keep it secret. (Dont want others to humiliate my parents)
    khulan03 khulan03 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 4

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    Hihi, I'm a Malaysian lesbian from Kuala Lumpur.

    Just hope to know more lesbian friends, femme, age 26 - 40, preferably who is staying in Klang Valley ( KL or Selangor) Nickname: xiaobaozi Age: 29 Wechat / Line: xiaobaozi7278 Race: Chinese Briefly describe about myself: I'm a long hair andro girl. Just an ordinary person with...
    xiaobaozi xiaobaozi 26-30, F Jun 29

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    What could be the signs

    that a straight girl likes you?
    jdam329 jdam329 22-25, F 1 Response Jun 2

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    Lesbian, But I Can't Find Other Lesbians Or Don't Know Where To Look.

    I just joined this site because I saw another person post a similar concern as I have myself, but didn't quite answer all of my questions. I am a lesbian, been with men, been told all of my life being gay is wrong, or "weird", but now that I'm 20 years old I can form my own...
    brookesmelscer18 brookesmelscer18 18-21, F 20 Responses Mar 11, 2012

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    chrissyboo123 chrissyboo123 16-17, F 1 Response Jun 5

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    Onlyifyoucanguess Onlyifyoucanguess 26-30, F 4 Responses Jun 4

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    Being Somewhat Accepted

    So I've told only 3 people that I'm a lesbian... The last friend I told has been my best friend for 13 years, and I was so scared to tell her...She actually didn't respond to me for a couple days after I told her, but she finally did and she was really nice about it. :) She wasn...
    KLynnMarie KLynnMarie 18-21, F 7 Responses Oct 21, 2013

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    I am a Closet Lesbian.

    I have always liked girls and always will. I am madly in love with my best friend. But I'm scared to tell anyone that I'm a lesbian because I'm afraid they won't except me and just shut me out. I'm mostly afraid to tell my grandpa, he is SUPER religious and I'm afraid he won't...
    LesbianAndProud LesbianAndProud 18-21, F 3 Responses Jun 2

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    I grew up in a family

    that is very religious. They are very anti-homosexual and would never accept me if they knew. I tried to be what they wanted me to be to the extent of marrying a man and having a son. I was miserable and my heart still ached to find the true soul mate I knew was out there. I...
    loanother loanother 36-40, F 6 Responses Jan 27

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    People around me will never understand

    and accept it. I feel trapped and suffocated.
    PrayforParis PrayforParis 18-21, F 3 Responses Jul 13

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    unicornsarerad unicornsarerad 16-17, F 5 Responses Mar 23

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    My mom just found out

    that I am in love with one of my best friends.. She was fuming mad at me. She said that I better stop seeing her... I could only cry. I wanted to tell her that I am really gay and there is nothing I can do with it. I want to run away from home so I can be free.
    Mikey022 Mikey022 18-21, F 4 Responses 6 days ago

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    At Fifteen

    My first serious gay relationship happened when I was 15. I'd kissed several girls prior to that, and had a fairly intense sexual experience in grade school, but lesbian lovesexmagic didn't happen till the summer before tenth grade. She was my next door neighbor, a cute...
    deleted deleted 26-30 7 Responses Apr 27, 2013

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    My 1st kiss was a girl.

    It's a secret that has been eating me alive since I was 8. I'm 23 now and I know since I was younger that I am a lesbian but all my life i have denied it. I have had a few boyfriends but none of them I've been attracted to. I have played sport all my life and I have a few...
    expuser1 expuser1 22-25, F 1 Response 5 days ago

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    I'm not as closeted as I was

    when I first added this experience some years ago. My mom now knows. I told her almost two years ago, Halloween, 2012. My one friend has known since I was 18, but now more people know because I joined a gay/straight alliance at my college. I'm still not ready for other family...
    lyricalongings lyricalongings 31-35, F 3 Responses Jul 7

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    Hi my name is cate. Ive been in my closet

    for as long as i can remember. I dont have any problem accepting it but my family would never approve. I could always drop it in their face but i chose not to, they expect so much from me, and so they could have a peace of mind. I got several good friends, some of them clueless...
    catehere catehere 26-30, F 7 Responses Jun 5

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    I fell in love in love with a girl but cause

    I'm a girl I hide in fear and shame I try to keep a distance but every thing about her pulls me in she has the beauty an perfect soul I've always wondered if she knows Just say something or give me a hint But every day ends just as it begins With her thinking I just wanna be...
    watdoido2094 watdoido2094 18-21, F 4 Responses May 11

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    I Was Confused For So Long...

    I'm not one of those "I knew since I was 5 years old" lesbians...but I am gay. Very gay. And even though I'm closeted at the moment, I'm proud of who I am and I'm happy with being gay. It took a long time to even understand my sexuality, allow me to explain... When I was 12, a...
    shesaloverofthelight shesaloverofthelight 26-30, F 9 Responses Jul 18, 2013

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    I’m Tired And I’m Coming Out!

    I have been a resident of the closet for a long time. I’m 22! So I have been hiding here for so many years. I used to consider it my comfort zone. A place where I can safely hide my ego from being hurt by homophobes who can’t understand. I am a lesbian. And a few months...
    deleted deleted 26-30 31 Responses Aug 26, 2012

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    I'm in a long term relationship with a man

    but over the past few years have come to realise I am attracted to women. I don't know if I was always a lesbian really and suppressed it when I was younger but I guess it doesn't really matter now. I'm not looking for sex talk on here though. I'm a genuine person just trying to...
    EllisRose EllisRose 36-40, F 3 Responses Mar 24

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    My friend Stacy touched me last week.

    I never had a girl do that before. It felt really awesome. She convinced me to let her take pics. I agreed but only on my phone. I wanted to see if there were other girls that felt similar as me. So I joined EP.
    shesanatural shesanatural 18-21, F 9 Responses Apr 25

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    The Closet Gets Cramped

    Hi, my name is Stephanie. :) I am a college student who only recently started coming to terms with my sexuality. I've known for as long as I can remember that I liked girls, but I always did my best to stifle the truth, and keep my feelings buried. This is a huge contributing...
    stephanie929 stephanie929 18-21, F 4 Responses Nov 17, 2013

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    At Least I Can Be Proud Here, Where No One Knows Me.

    Isn't that sad? That we have to live in a worl where the only place we can be ourselves is when we are anonymous. I mean, of course Rose Donovan is not my real name. It is the name of one of my fictional characters. I could not out my real name on here for fear someone I knew...
    LonelySoul LonelySoul 18-21, F 76 Responses Jul 18, 2007

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    Dont Know What To Do

    im a student at university and i am a cheerleader but there is a problem im a lesbian and no one knows and i dont know what to do
    amy1200 amy1200 18-21, F 46 Responses Sep 11, 2012

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    This is my first time

    even writing the words "I am a lesbian," so this is a big step for me. I think I've always known (very very deep down, so far down that the thought never even came into my head), but I had my "aha" moment about 7 months ago (in the beginning of my senior year of college). I...
    anonymous0987654 anonymous0987654 22-25, F 4 Responses Apr 4

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    Couldn't Change Even If I Wanted Too

    It is scary to be yourself in a world full of hateful people. In a world full of people who don't understand that being gay isn't a choice. It isn't something that you decided. I don't wake up and think "You know what I'm feeling a little gay today." lol. It is something that I...
    EElena EElena 18-21, F 5 Responses Sep 25, 2013

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    Why Do People Assume You Choose To Be Gay Or Lesbian?

    Today during my Sociology class, we were talking about deviance and how a lot of psychologists believe that you're born 'bad'. Well, one of my stupid classmates, Ian, said, "I don't believe you can be born bad just as much as you can be born gay,"Well, that got me ticked off. Why...
    WeArePilots WeArePilots 18-21, F 26 Responses Dec 15, 2011

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    I'm Stuck In Closet-land..

    I'll start at the beginning.. I was a late bloomer in the love department. As a kid, I was always fine with just having fun whereas the other girls were more concerned with who liked who and which boys were the cutest. As much as I tried, I could not get into these conversations...
    ageyutsa ageyutsa 18-21, F 11 Responses Sep 26, 2011

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    I have no idea where I can go from here.

    I know I like girls, that's not the problem. I joined this site because on here I can be myself. I can tell the truth about who I am, no lies. I'm young but I am a lesbian. I've dated a few guys, gotten groped and hated every minute of it. I don't know where to look for people...
    ae47 ae47 16-17, F 5 Responses Jul 13

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    Hi :) I'm new to this

    and I wanna meet people that are like me! :D
    Yasmin8 Yasmin8 13-15, F 4 Responses Jul 4

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    I am using EP to slowly let people know

    that I am a lesbian..I have some barriers to being open...sigh..
    femsweety12 femsweety12 31-35, F 8 Responses Feb 17

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    I have a girlfriend,

    but i'm not even out of the closet. Just a few people at my job know. My parents don't know anything or even suspect anything. I don't like hiding it.
    VVVKayKayVVV VVVKayKayVVV 16-17, F 1 Response Jun 11

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    I have an amazing boyfriend

    and I care about him but I can't love him. I can't love him because I like girls, not boys... And I've tried and tried and tried so hard to make it work but to me it's just an act. an act I need to keep on playing because I know what my parents and my friends would say if it...
    infinite1994 infinite1994 18-21, F 6 Responses Jan 21

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    i am 27 yrs old and just a couple yrs ago i

    realized that i am attracted to women. the hardest thing for me right now is the fact that i haven't been able to explore these feeling further. i don't know why it took me so long to realize that i like women; all the early signs were there for me but i never paid close...
    laencantadora laencantadora 26-30, F 8 Responses Jan 5

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    To be honest I don't know

    if I'm lesbian, straight, or bi. I've never had a girlfriend or anything but I have had a few boyfriends in the past none of the relationships lasted very long. But I do find some girls very attractive especially if I know they are lesbian. I know many lesbians and am friends...
    MJtheatregirl MJtheatregirl 16-17, F 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    My Daughter Is A Closet Lesbian

    I have been wanting to write this story for a long time. This story is a tribute to my one and only daughter. For simplicity I will refer to my daughter as "M". After 5 children and several years of marriage my wife and I divorced. Our youngest, M, thought that I did not love her...
    Spockk Spockk 66-70, M 262 Responses Jul 6, 2013

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    It has come to the stage

    where I'm asking myself, "when will I start to love him?". A few months have passed, and we've been good. Steady, solid, intimate - but something is missing. There is no raw, soul-connection. There is no real mutual interest or comfortable silence. I feel like I am faking...
    theoutsider0 theoutsider0 18-21, F Jun 4

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    imaclosetlesbian imaclosetlesbian 13-15, F 3 Responses Jun 25

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    I've been with man for 6 years.

    He's the father of my children. I'm completely unhappy. I want to be with a woman! L
    Secretlezzz Secretlezzz 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 2

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    no one even knows about this.

    but recently i've been developing feelings for my schoolmate and when i'm in the same room my friends notice i act funny. sometimes i just feel that i'm suffocated and helpless
    duhshi duhshi 13-15, F Jul 12

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    My friend and I ended up falling in love with

    each other. It was very unexpected because we both dated and had been with men before. I don't see other girls in that way, it's just her. It was hard to accept it because we both come from cultures that don't accept gay/lesbians. So we knew from the start that it was eventually...
    dontknow11223 dontknow11223 22-25, F 4 Responses May 31

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    so I'm scared to come out

    because my twin came out about a year ago and since then I've been known as the "straight twin". also I'm worried that my parents (as lovely and accepting as they are) are going to think that it's only because my twin is. me and my sister are super close and although we lean...
    mollyada mollyada 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 9

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    It's kinda weird, as I have always loved women,

    lol for as long as I can remember. All my best friends and other friends are just normal straight girls whom just got married or bought a house or had a baby, or are pregnant. I never wanted that, I always saw myself as a very career/goal oriented person. I'll be 27 this year...
    jaimson jaimson 26-30, F 3 Responses May 31

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    I tried so hard to like boys.

    But it just never really worked. When I tried dating guys, after a couple weeks I just couldn't do it anymore, I felt nothing towards them. Every time. I kept trying to go farther with guys sexually and I never felt aroused or good. When I lost my virginity to a guy it was awful...
    SavannaJade SavannaJade 18-21, F 3 Responses Feb 25

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    Willing To Come Out For The Sake Of Love

    I am an average looking girl who has a boring life. I've been hiding inside the closet and now I realized that I've been depriving myself the chance of loving and being loved by someone. I am an introvert and it's quite difficult for me to open up with anyone. I've never been in...
    strikien strikien 26-30, F 13 Responses Mar 9, 2012

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    My 7-Year Closet Lesbian Story (Updated: 10/06/2012)

      The story I am about to tell is one that I never told a soul. A story I chose to tell anonymously to the unjudging ears (or at least I hope) of the internet because I couldn’t tell anyone - neither to my family nor to my very close friends. This is the first time I am...
    deleted deleted 26-30 13 Responses Feb 8, 2009

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    A year ago I found out I was a lesbian.

    I had feelings for women way before but never actually thought I would be gay. No one else thinks I'm gay either because I look straight. Long hair, girly clothes, makeup etc. The problem is not that I'm afraid of coming out, but I'm afraid that I'll never find a girlfriend...
    irisjuuu irisjuuu 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 8

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    I told my friend today.

    I was the first whom she came out as a bisexual, so I thought she would understand me. I was right. she supports me. She told me: "whatever you need me or talk about something; I'm here for you. We are together in this". Was even better because she told me this face to face...
    OrangeCaramel OrangeCaramel 18-21, F 2 Responses May 27

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    So Yeah.......... *update*

    I joined EP days ago and I like it so far. I expressed my feelings through my story called "confused." I said that I was bi, but im having other thoughts and feelings. It has not been a week yet and I am becoming more distant from boys. I find boys attractive, but cannot date...
    Natalie542 Natalie542 13-15, F 16 Responses Aug 10, 2013

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    Every time my parents bring up a conversation

    of someone being gay I get nervous. I know for a fact that I am a lesbian and I also know that my parents aren't against any LGBT people. But every time they hear that someone my age has come out, they say that the person is just confused or is looking for attention. I really...
    aurorad19 aurorad19 13-15, F 8 Responses Jul 1

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    Not really......after all there isn't enough

    room for the two of us in my closet anyway. I guess I could get a bigger closet or just be out like I'm starting to be. Okay so long story, but basically I've discovered girls in a whole new way. All through my life I thought I was straight, normal, you know, not gay...
    ClaudNine ClaudNine 18-21, F 10 Responses Jul 17

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    I've known I like girls

    since I was little but I like boys too. It's still quite confusing to me if I actually 'like' boys I mean I'm physically attracted to men and women at the same time and I'm sure I like girls but not so sure about guys. I find some boys attractive and cute but it's been long...
    msmika msmika 18-21, F 5 Responses 4 days ago

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    This is kind of awkward

    for me as I've never really allowed myself to talk about this openly to ANYONE! First off, I'm 28 and I've never been intimate with a guy, I've never been interested or aroused enough to take things to that level. (Kind of embarrassing to say!) However I've always had these...
    MissAshley357 MissAshley357 26-30, F 2 Responses Jun 16

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