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I Am a Closet Lesbian

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 4,596 People

    Nothing is better than hearing your boyfriend

    moan loud like a female! While he was laying naked on the bed I start licking and kissing his leg then worked my way to his tight a$$. While going up and down with my tongue I pushd one finger in . He loved it so I start doing Sixty9 and put turtle (his pen!s) in my mouth. It...
    QueenTay91 QueenTay91 22-25, F 2 Responses May 31

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    Dont Know What To Do

    im a student at university and i am a cheerleader but there is a problem im a lesbian and no one knows and i dont know what to do
    amy1200 amy1200 18-21, F 47 Responses Sep 11, 2012

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    I live in the closet.

    ..I've struggled with my sexuality for as long as is can remember I've always liked girls/women s*xually or not...it puts me in a tight spot and in a lot of pain because I don't think exactly the people around me family/friends understand me or accept me for who I am when I come...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Jun 3

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    Hi i have not been on this site

    for a year but this my story. i grew up with my brothers my sister was living and still is living with my grandmother. and in my neighbourhood there were only boys as well and i als grew up as a tomboy. but i grew out of it in middle school because a girl in my class said that i...
    lovefemales lovefemales 22-25, T 2 Responses Jul 4

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    I joined this forum for this very purpose.

    .. I am pleased with where my life is, but sexually, I feel like I walk around looking and thinking about every female around me... I love a women and I can't help but to admire a women that shows some cleavage, I can't help but to find a reason to be around her.....
    noname2pic noname2pic 31-35, F 1 Response Jul 8

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    Not really......after all there isn't enough

    room for the two of us in my closet anyway. I guess I could get a bigger closet or just be out like I'm starting to be. Okay so long story, but basically I've discovered girls in a whole new way. All through my life I thought I was straight, normal, you know, not gay...
    ClaudNine ClaudNine 22-25, F 14 Responses Jul 17, 2014

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    I'm still confused but I guess I'm a 90% lesbian

    because I only wish to be in a relationship with a female. I just want someone that can relate to me and can keep up a conversation. Talking crap is also a form of entertainment :)
    Rachh13 Rachh13 18-21, F 2 Responses Jan 7, 2014

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    I've known I liked girls

    for as long as I can remember. I've gone out with guys before thinking maybe something was wrong with me? As a pastor's kid it isn't really 'okay'. I'm sick of hearing the bad things they say about gay people right in front of me. I just wish I could come out and that they would...
    luvvyowl luvvyowl 13-15, F 1 Response Jun 24

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    My mom just found out

    that I am in love with one of my best friends.. She was fuming mad at me. She said that I better stop seeing her... I could only cry. I wanted to tell her that I am really gay and there is nothing I can do with it. I want to run away from home so I can be free.
    Mikey022 Mikey022 18-21, F 7 Responses Jul 20, 2014

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    My hands are shaking

    and I believe I will be crying a lot while writing this because I always thought I will die without me saying a word about me being who I am.. Just like many others, when I was young I grew up with boys and grew up as a tomboy. I remember the fights and tears I had every time...
    carrieberry12 carrieberry12 31-35, F 7 Responses Jun 19

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    (This is just a late night thought.

    .. Feel free to ignore me) Annnd it sucks haha I'm most likely gonna be closeted to my family until they all die or vice versa and I don't trust a majority of my friends enough to tell them just yet. So pretending to be straight is super uncomfortable because I don't like lying...
    tragicallyvintage tragicallyvintage 16-17, F 3 Responses Jul 8

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    i am 27 yrs old and just a couple yrs ago i

    realized that i am attracted to women. the hardest thing for me right now is the fact that i haven't been able to explore these feeling further. i don't know why it took me so long to realize that i like women; all the early signs were there for me but i never paid close...
    laencantadora laencantadora 26-30, F 9 Responses Jan 5, 2014

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    I am 38 years old. Middle Eastern Muslim gay

    guy. I am looking for Middle Eastern lesbian or bisexual Muslim girl. I am conservative, very well educated and good looking. I know this might sounds very ambitious, but I am really dreaming of having ideal life with ideal wife, just like straight couples but without the...
    lovecater lovecater 36-40, M Jun 29

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    Why Do People Assume You Choose To Be Gay Or Lesbian?

    Today during my Sociology class, we were talking about deviance and how a lot of psychologists believe that you're born 'bad'. Well, one of my stupid classmates, Ian, said, "I don't believe you can be born bad just as much as you can be born gay,"Well, that got me ticked off. Why...
    WeArePilots WeArePilots 18-21, F 25 Responses Dec 15, 2011

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    i am in the closet and i cant come out anytime

    soon. i need a woman who can understand me and support me all the way. i crave intimacy, i wish i could fall in love. anyone interested in getting to know me more inbox me. i love honesty and sincerity.
    lesbewoman lesbewoman 26-30, F 2 Responses May 14, 2014

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    I grew up in a family

    that is very religious. They are very anti-homosexual and would never accept me if they knew. I tried to be what they wanted me to be to the extent of marrying a man and having a son. I was miserable and my heart still ached to find the true soul mate I knew was out there. I...
    loanother loanother 36-40, F 7 Responses Jan 27, 2014

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    I never reveal my affection towards a girl.

    I have strong urges to be with one but i never go for it. Its against my family and religion. I just want a girl who understands me and someone who's struggling with the same thing. I want to run away and be with a woman i can call my own. I dont want to come out. I just want to...
    Islandkween Islandkween 18-21, F 5 Responses Feb 15

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    The reason for this is

    because my family are strict Muslims and wouldn't allow me to be a lesbian. I remember once i was joking about it, just to see their reaction and they took it so seriously that now i am scared to tell them. I know for sure that this isn't a phase. However i'm 17 now so i will...
    Sammim4lik Sammim4lik 16-17, F Mar 26

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    The Closet Gets Cramped

    Hi, my name is Stephanie. :) I am a college student who only recently started coming to terms with my sexuality. I've known for as long as I can remember that I liked girls, but I always did my best to stifle the truth, and keep my feelings buried. This is a huge contributing...
    stephanie929 stephanie929 18-21, F 5 Responses Nov 17, 2013

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    I've never been with another girl,

    but God knows I want to. I don't know why it's so hard, but my fear that I'll fall for someone who will expose me to my strictly religious family scares the crap out of me. I just want to be happy for a little while, but I don't want to lose the people I love.
    headXXbanger headXXbanger 18-21, F 2 Responses Jun 15

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    I told my friend today.

    I was the first whom she came out as a bisexual, so I thought she would understand me. I was right. she supports me. She told me: "whatever you need me or talk about something; I'm here for you. We are together in this". Was even better because she told me this face to face...
    OrangeCaramel OrangeCaramel 18-21, F 2 Responses May 27, 2014

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    I Was Confused For So Long...

    I'm not one of those "I knew since I was 5 years old" lesbians...but I am gay. Very gay. And even though I'm closeted at the moment, I'm proud of who I am and I'm happy with being gay. It took a long time to even understand my sexuality, allow me to explain... When I was 12, a...
    shesaloverofthelight shesaloverofthelight 26-30, F 9 Responses Jul 18, 2013

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    Well first I'm new to this

    so let me just start off with my story! Well I'm a bisexual male who is in a relationship with my bf but the thing is I'm not out to anyone in my family just my friends who are in the same boat as me! I'm looking for a female in similar situation who wants to get to know...
    nashville88 nashville88 26-30, M 5 days ago

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    my whole life i have kept to myself.

    Ive never really had deep romantic feelings about anyone, boy or girl. Im also not really an affectionate person. The one relationship I was in was with a guy and it lasted probably six months. I never even kissed him. Lately though, Ive been having thoughts about what it would...
    JubeJubes JubeJubes 16-17, F 4 Responses Jun 9

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    Alright so, as the title says it,

    I'm a closet lesbian. However, I have a boyfriend, whom I love greatly, but am not attracted to at all. I'm physically and emotionally pulled towards women, he is the only exception. I don't want to hurt him nor do I want him to hate me for holding onto him when I can't ever be...
    AutumnReverie AutumnReverie 16-17, F 2 Responses Jun 22

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    Im looking for Rhea. I met you here on EP a few

    years ago. I would give anything to hear from you, just to say hi and catch up. I wonder about you from time to time, wonder if you're happy and how things are going. Please, if you see this, message me. It's all water under the bridge.
    thesupernurse thesupernurse 26-30, F 1 Response Jun 18

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    I fell in love in love with a girl but cause

    I'm a girl I hide in fear and shame I try to keep a distance but every thing about her pulls me in she has the beauty an perfect soul I've always wondered if she knows Just say something or give me a hint But every day ends just as it begins With her thinking I just wanna be...
    watdoido2094 watdoido2094 18-21, F 4 Responses May 11, 2014

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    I'm a 24 year old female

    who is completely unsure of her sexuality. I've never been with another female, but I find myself becoming more and more curious as I grow older. I've been with a handful of guys (all awkward, drunken college experiences), but I've never been in a relationship. I am very much a...
    CuriousF420 CuriousF420 22-25, F 1 Response 2 days ago

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    Okay here we go... From being a child I've

    always known I was different. I was a tomboy and loved playing football and other sports with the boys at school. When I became a teenager I stopped playing sports and became a lot more feminine but still always thought I was different. I was the 'class clown' in high school and...
    sf19921234 sf19921234 22-25 1 Response Jun 9

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    I'm a Closeted Lesbian

    I'm not sure how I got to this point. It's like I have two different lives--two sets of friends, two sets of stories; everything split rather unequally to fit into 'gay' and 'normal'. Not straight. Normal. My mother is my idol, and she's the hardest-working, most beautiful...
    Harpertrap Harpertrap 18-21, F 176 Responses Dec 28, 2007

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    sometimes I wonder if my relationships with

    guys never work out because I really like girls. My parents nor my friends would understand if I came out. Sometimes I want to go out and actually experience it to see if this is what I want. When having sex with guys I don't get off. But when I watch lesbian **** or read sex...
    RichC7 RichC7 18-21, F 4 Responses Jun 4

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    So lately I've been very angry

    and depressed so I haven't smiled much But...today... I saw a lesbian couple in Walmart and the biggest smile came over my face and made me the happiest I've been in a while I kept it to myself tho...so no one would know
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Jun 6

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    I am in counseling with my husband whom I love

    dearly to help us get back together after my infidelity with a woman. Oddly the therapy makes me feel worse because I see what a basket case I have made him while I am still personally struggling with my own identity because of my actions. All the while I keep up appearances...
    GingerDame GingerDame 31-35, F 1 Response 3 days ago

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    Just going to be honest here that's what the

    sites about right? Well my family think being gay or lesbian is an outright sin my cousin moved halfway across the country after coming out and I'm scared I'll have to do the same eventually.
    silent62 silent62 13-15, F 2 Responses Jul 8

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    I dont trust girls who are attracted to

    me…like why? write me a 10 page paper with a legitimate thesis and valid points backing up your claim or you fake.
    OrangeCaramel OrangeCaramel 18-21, F 6 Responses May 21, 2014

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    i like boys and girls.

    ..its strange to be surrounded by people who do not understand the way my feelings work...so its just me who knows about it apart from friend of mine and now this website. am looking forward to chat and maybe meet up with people who share a similar feelings. PS.- I gel better...
    KeekiBose KeekiBose 22-25, F 4 Responses Jun 6

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    My Daughter Is A Closet Lesbian

    I have been wanting to write this story for a long time. This story is a tribute to my one and only daughter. For simplicity I will refer to my daughter as "M". After 5 children and several years of marriage my wife and I divorced. Our youngest, M, thought that I did not love her...
    Spockk Spockk 66-70, M 247 Responses Jul 6, 2013

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    At Fifteen

    My first serious gay relationship happened when I was 15. I'd kissed several girls prior to that, and had a fairly intense sexual experience in grade school, but lesbian lovesexmagic didn't happen till the summer before tenth grade. She was my next door neighbor, a cute...
    deleted deleted 26-30 6 Responses Apr 27, 2013

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    I Am Almost Certain I'm Gay... But I Love My Boyfriend. Argh. Help.

    I'm in my mid-twenties and I'm really just starting to accept that I'm a lesbian. The signs were always there, and I suppose it's always been in the back of my head since I was little. Men really don't interest me. I LOVE them purely and fully. I even feel in love with them.I...
    PeaceLilyGirl PeaceLilyGirl 22-25, F 47 Responses Feb 21, 2012

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    ....then I would be asked not to journey into

    forests / enjoy life as I would call it adventure, from their perspective it is about living a disciplined life. does discipline mean just work all day and cook his own food and sleep and keep doing this for the rest of the life? living life in a certain manner (probably they...
    simplychat simplychat 26-30, F 3 Responses Jun 13

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    I tried so hard to like boys.

    But it just never really worked. When I tried dating guys, after a couple weeks I just couldn't do it anymore, I felt nothing towards them. Every time. I kept trying to go farther with guys sexually and I never felt aroused or good. When I lost my virginity to a guy it was awful...
    SavannaJade SavannaJade 18-21, F 4 Responses Feb 25, 2014

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    I have an amazing boyfriend

    and I care about him but I can't love him. I can't love him because I like girls, not boys... And I've tried and tried and tried so hard to make it work but to me it's just an act. an act I need to keep on playing because I know what my parents and my friends would say if it...
    infinite1994 infinite1994 18-21, F 6 Responses Jan 21, 2014

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    Though I haven't technically come out to my

    family, I don't feel the need to specifically hide it, If I were to get serious with someone I wouldn't be afraid of people knowing, I just don't see the point in stating it if no one asks. :)
    TheHippieBitch TheHippieBitch 16-17, F Jun 14

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    Hmm, yes I'm still in the closet

    but in coming out. I've told a few friends they are super supportive. But what's stopping me from telling my dad, who has actually questioned me about it. He told me that he doesn't care and will still love. I think. I fully accept myself. What's stopping me from saying it, I...
    Madamoiselle1 Madamoiselle1 16-17, F 1 Response Jun 16

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    I was in such an awkward situation today.

    An attractive friend of mine touched my arm and I got red like a tomato. I could see she was uncomfortable about the situasion but just pretended nothing happend. And I would find myself in this situasion more than once with my friends. I just want to be true to myself but I am...
    RagingB RagingB 18-21, F 4 Responses Jul 20

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    I’m Tired And I’m Coming Out!

    I have been a resident of the closet for a long time. I’m 22! So I have been hiding here for so many years. I used to consider it my comfort zone. A place where I can safely hide my ego from being hurt by homophobes who can’t understand. I am a lesbian. And a few months...
    deleted deleted 26-30 32 Responses Aug 26, 2012

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