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I Am a Codependent

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 343 People

    I Am Struggling

    I was raised by a physically and mentally abusive alcholic father. Married twice and divorced both times. Recently I was dating someone for a year who was OCPD which I figured out by doing some research on his issues and in a forum with others it was mentioned to me that I am...
    dac93 dac93 51-55, F 1 Response Jan 24, 2013

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    I've Just Realized I'm A Codependent.

    My husband and I have been together since I was 15 years old. I'm now almost 33. Over the last month or so he has been doing a lot of changes himself. The arguments and such have made me do a lot of soul searching. Looking into how to become more independent I stumbled across...
    bknicely80 bknicely80 31-35, F 1 Response Aug 15, 2013

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    Coda Is Working For Me

    I'm blogging a little on here, about my struggle to let go of the life I thought I was going to have with these people I love so much.  Learning about codependency and attending the meetings and getting all the support and resources for it are really saving my sanity.  I am...
    rapturetourniquet rapturetourniquet 31-35 2 Responses Jun 9, 2011

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    Struggling In College

    I have recently discovered and recognized my codependency issues. I thrive from the recognition of things I do for other people. All I want to do is serve and, in the process, receive love from others. Recently, my friends have been pulling away from me. I have a guy in my life...
    Lotte11 Lotte11 18-21, F 1 Response Sep 22, 2011

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    Making Healthier Decisions...But Still Don'T Have A Lot Of Skills

    I just left a relationship with a man who was a commitment phobe. I loved him a lot, and I thought I was establishing healthier patterns in my relationship with him. He wouldn't commit. That was all the fights were about. As long as there was no talk of future, we were fine...
    rosedl rosedl 41-45, F 3 Responses Feb 23, 2013

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    Am I A Codependent? Help!!!

    Very recently, an EP member sent me a message informing me that I may be in a narcissistic relationship, he even asked me to look it up on the net and to my surprise, I found my situation very much similar as to what has been described by professionals. I have read a couple...
    prettierinpink prettierinpink 36-40, F 2 Responses Nov 4, 2012

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    My Husband Is Helping Me Find My Independence.

    I am 19 years old & ever since 5th grade, I have been in relationships without really breaks in between. I have always been the girl to ditch her friends for whatever guy that she's with because I put my heart 100% into every relationship that I'm in. I change myself completely...
    AFWife96 AFWife96 18-21, F Aug 8, 2013

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    I Choose Not To Be A Codependent

    I found out I was a codependent the day my good friend brought me the book called "codependent no more". I realized how my life evolved and moved around my husbands every move and demands. He was a drug addict and fought with the influences that it entails being surrounded by all...
    sandylo sandylo 26-30, F 3 Responses Jun 24, 2010

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    Recently Discovered That I Am A Codependent Partner In An Abusive Relationship

    Hello, So my title basically says it all. A two-year relationship ended 4 days ago, and I am feeling very lost and empty. My ex was a very emotionally abusive person. And now I am left heart-broken, though I know that he didn't ever deserve my kindness. Somehow I keep thinking...
    creepingdawn creepingdawn 22-25, F 1 Response Jul 26, 2013

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    The Hardest Lessons Are Those We Learn Ourselves.

    I've spent the past twenty years going from relationship to relationship, seeking that One Person who would make me happy to be alive.  There were fleeting moments, teases of what happiness really was, but never anything that stuck.  The past five and a half years were...
    witchywomin witchywomin 31-35, F 6 Responses Aug 28, 2008

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    I Want To Save The World Without Saving Myself.

      Today was a very insightful day.  I decided to move forward with my  search for answers.  I realize that the  questions that plague me are familiar to so many, but I allow distraction to keep me from addressing and answering the questions. ...
    tspenc tspenc 36-40, M 2 Responses Mar 27, 2010

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    When I Point One Finger,three Are Pointing Back At Me

    I have been in CODA for 17 years and have grown and changed immensely in that time.I went from living my life looking for identity in someone else to accepting and loving myself and all my imperfections,and even enjoying the journey of self-discovery. We all have a family of...
    hofna hofna 51-55, M Oct 2, 2012

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    So I didn't know what "codependent" meant

    until just now... I saw this group and decided to look it up and I realized it describes me. It's almost painfully accurate. Which kinda scares me, I mean, I didn't think it was a real problem, I thought I was just a very submissive, caring person who thinks of others before...
    yourguardianangel9613 yourguardianangel9613 16-17, F 2 Responses Feb 1

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    When you face the tears

    and ongoing agony of codependence, you value every insight that comes your way. You hang on to each word of wisdom as it speaks to you. Not just any words will do. You can identify which ones, by the intense need to return to them as steady reminders. What follows are a few...
    iNtuitiveFEeling iNtuitiveFEeling 51-55, M 2 Responses Jan 19

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    I Realised This Today

    I was on a website trying, as I have been for what seems like eons, to work out what is wrong with me.  My activity here today is the culmination of that work with this being my first story here. I found an immense list of characteristics of codependent people...
    TheFunHasGone TheFunHasGone 36-40, F 10 Responses Jun 30, 2009

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    The Relationship Between Me And Mom

    I am 28 years old, I still live with mom because i dont have a job or enough money to sustain myself. I realized some time ago that the main reason why I still am with a control freak who always wants to be right and if anyone tries to overcome her opinion she gets upset. I...
    LitamalianTherpo LitamalianTherpo 26-30, M 1 Response Sep 12, 2012

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    Working Through It

    I never realized I was until I was researching shyness and all these other weird problems I think that I have. It has gotten better but it still s not as good as it should be, I still need someone for social events I can't go to a bar or club or a scene like that alone, although...
    EnchantingMinx EnchantingMinx 22-25, F 2 Responses Nov 3, 2013

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    What It Means To Me.

    I don't know how to read people.I keep thinking that I'm "bad" if I don't do something perfectly. I feel like I have to keep striving for something but I don't know what it is. I get scared that if I say or do the wrong thing that people won't like me. If I walk into a room...
    peaceapple peaceapple 36-40 5 Responses Feb 17, 2011

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    How To Overcome Insecurities In Long Term Relationship

    I have been in a relationship for six heads almost with my boyfriend who is deep down my best friend and here we are six years later still with trust issues heartache insecurities with one another my self esteem has been knocked down so low I am just trying to love and...
    BriBri24 BriBri24 22-25, F 1 Response Feb 2, 2013

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    March 5. Be Who You Are.

    When I meet people or get in a new relationship, I start putting all these repressive restrictions on myself. I can't have my feelings. Can't have my wants and needs. Can't have my history. Can't do the things I want, feel the feelings I'm feeling, or say what I need to say. I...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F 2 Responses Mar 5

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    Codependency No More

    Has anyone read this book? I started therapy for the first time in my life (32yrs old) 2 weeks ago. My therapist asked did I know what codependency was.....? I was totally confused on why he would ask me that.  I was thinking he may have been wondering if I thought...
    NavajoRose NavajoRose 31-35, F 4 Responses Mar 23, 2010

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    I Was Born Codependent

    My mother was an alcoholic. My husband of 29 years is an alcoholic. My daughter is a recovering drug addict who has recently been diagnosed with bipolar. I live with my husband and daughter and I needless to say I'm at my wits end. I would like some advice. My husband is...
    Lv4fer Lv4fer 46-50 2 Responses Jan 17, 2013

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    Codependency Vs. Drug Addiction...

    I met by boyfriend CJ in the Fall of  2007 and I can honestly say it was love at first sight. However, the second time I saw him where I was waitressing, he was under the influence. I thought it was an isolated event: boy from a small town in the service, away from home, hanging...
    Sophie83 Sophie83 26-30 1 Response Nov 28, 2011

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    Just Found Out That I Am A Codependent And That It Hurt My Marriage For The Whole Duration

    Just had a very hard time with my marriage for the first time in 8 years. My wife suddenly told me that she wasn't sure that she wanted to be here anymore. We have two young sons (5.5 and 3.5) years old. I immediately panicked and exploded with thoughts and words of self harm and...
    frenchyStAnger frenchyStAnger 31-35, M 4 Responses Sep 14, 2013

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    No Chance

    I didn't stand a chance. My dad was a "functioning" alcoholic. He and my mother didn't agree on much. If they were speaking it was an arguement. My mother mostly sheltered us from him. She would do anything to make us happy. And, I mean anything. We had no responsibilities...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Mar 13, 2013

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    As Long As You Love Me.

    i just realized that I am co-dependent or that I have codependent behaviors. i am in a relationship where i am unhappy. Today is suppose to be our anniversary and where am i? i am alone, writing this. i will allow pple to treat me how ever they please, as long as they "love" me...
    beautifulSTORM beautifulSTORM 18-21, F Dec 25, 2012

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    Recovery

    When I first joined the path to overcoming codependency, I found that I was carrying a lot of baggage for other people (not that they asked me to or even knew.) I tried to toss out things that weren't really my stuff. Since there was a lot of baggage it was kinda easy at first...
    madstalker madstalker 41-45, M Jan 6, 2013

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    I let other people's behavior

    and mental attitudes affect how I feel. If they're angry, sad, verbally abusive, happy, etc. I let that dictate how I feel at that particular time. It's especially noticeable to me when they are not happy. I gauge my feelings on them. I am such a caretaker. I think a lot...
    BuddyBo BuddyBo 56-60, F 1 Response Mar 12

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    Total Chaos...but I'm Still In One Piece

    In April of 2010, I was on POF, an online site, two months out of my self-imposed dating isolation of 13 years. I had made the decision to not date until my kids were grown, knowing I couldn't trust myself in a relationship.My kids were already going through an unhealthy...
    lulu1107 lulu1107 51-55, F Nov 26, 2011

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    In Limbo Right Now

    Hello All, I have realized that I am codependent for a little over a year now. I am a man in my 40s,  I have been married for almost 14 years and we have a precious 9 year old son.  My wife and I are in limbo it seems.  I am active right now in my...
    Joe43 Joe43 41-45 2 Responses Jun 14, 2009

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    I Am A Huge One!

    I rely on my mom to survive. I'm 17 with Aspergers... And I guess I rely on her to survive but also because if I lose her, I wouldn't know how to provide for myself. I'm scared to live on my own--well, secretly I don't want to. I'm scared to be alone and have to fend for myself...
    don29002 don29002 16-17, M Oct 15, 2013

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    My Story Isn't Over Yet & Neither Is Yours!

    Being co-dependent literally robs a person their wings. It robs them of having the ability to take care of themselves. How would I know? Because I've been doing it heavily for the past couple of years. I have put my dreams on hold for people in my life, some of those people are...
    beautifulSTORM beautifulSTORM 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 28, 2012

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    Hit Me Like A Ton Of Bricks...

    I've been journeying down this road towards recovery from depression, and realized not too long ago that a huge piece of the puzzle is that I'm a codependent, and have been stuck in a 14+ years of one relationship after another to make me feel validated as a human being. I've...
    transienthope transienthope 22-25, F 2 Responses Sep 25, 2011

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    Letting Go (help)

    I find that I have a hard time with people who need help. It is very difficult for me to let things (they do, have done, or have happened to them etc) go when I know those things are causing them harm. I try to not focus on them, but the pain that I know is coming weighs on my...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Feb 8, 2011

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    Almost All My Characteristics :(

    Characteristics of Co-dependent People Are: An exaggerated sense of responsibility for the actions of others A tendency to confuse love and pity, with the tendency to “love” people they can pity and rescue A tendency to do more than their share, all of the time A tendency to...
    writingablog writingablog 31-35, F 5 Responses Jan 19, 2012

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    Co Dependency

    hi im new on here but am also co-dependant and sat here not knowing if im in or out of a relationship, we went away for 10 days and it was brilliant we came back last sunday and i had a strop over something pathetic and then came back to his after going to mine and cried and...
    sheila46 sheila46 46-50, F 1 Response Nov 17, 2013

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    For Along Time.

    I have been codependent. If I'm by myself single living alone I am very independent . I have traveled all over on my own. Not afraid. As soon as I'm in a relationship my partner is my whole world I'll do almost anything for em' . I'll change almost anything for them to make them...
    Faithinyoumy1 Faithinyoumy1 31-35 1 Response Nov 10, 2013

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    I Am A Codependent Man.

    I have been codependent for seems forever. It started I guess in school. One day I was waiting on my brother to pick me up from school and he never showed up. I was only like 10 years old. Ever since then I have been paranoid about people leaving me , not caring about me , and...
    markowenby markowenby 46-50, M 3 Responses Feb 12, 2012

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    I'm Curious

    What led you to into your relationships? Was the guy nice to you? Did he give you attention? Were you just too tired of being lonely and latched on to the first opportunity?
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Oct 6, 2011

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    I Just Learned I Am A Codependent....

    Hi Everyone: I just learned that I am a codependent and I am not sure what to do. For now, I have joined a therapy group for codependents, but it's expensive and I haven't started yet, so I'm hoping to learn more from all of you. Can anyone tell me what exactly a codependent is...
    JamsFran JamsFran 31-35, F 3 Responses Oct 9, 2012

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    My Codependent Self..

    Currently I'm finding it hard to draw a boundary between codependent behaviors, and just plain caring. I hope I would be able to draw good, healthy boundaries one day. I do know somethings just aren't right. I used to spend day after day trying to calculate the time difference...
    transienthope transienthope 22-25, F 1 Response Sep 25, 2011

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    I Wanted To Share This Poem

    I learned that I am codependent thought one of my classes at the University.  My professor, who is also codependent, shared this poem with us and I wanted to share it with all of you now! Comes the Dawn Veronica Shorffstall, 1971 After a while you learn the subtle...
    NovemberBlue NovemberBlue 22-25, F 5 Responses Jun 23, 2010

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    The First Step Into Recovery Is...

    As soon as my Dad died a little over 4 years ago, I forgot how to feel emotions and shut off into a state of numbness. 3 years later, my mother began dating a man who was a raging alcoholic - I exploded into a delayed grief reaction which took the form of a massive panic attack...
    steeltoad steeltoad 22-25, F 1 Response Jun 10, 2011

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    Trying To Make Big Changes

    I am a codependent. It's an admission that's not easy to make, but a necessary one to acknowledge. The first step to making changes is to acknowledge that there is something I want to change. We are what we repeatedly do, and I want to be healthy and happy. To accomplish this I...
    findmeholdmeloveme findmeholdmeloveme 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 19, 2013

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    Wanting To Get Better

    My Doctor first told me about codependency. I had no idea what it was, but she believed that that was what I was suffering from. I have read Melody Beattie's Books about Codependency - Codependent No More workbook and The New Codependency. There were many parts in the books that...
    brightsmove brightsmove 36-40, F 1 Response May 4, 2012

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    Sadface

    I made the mistake of messing around with my roommate. Now things are different, and not only do I regret it, I hate him, because things aren't the same as they before we messed around. :(
    kristy8420 kristy8420 26-30, F Jul 28, 2012

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    I have just discovered

    that I am codependent. It's not something that I want to be true, but it so obviously is. I'm terrified about what it means for my future (especially pertaining to romantic relationships) & what it means about my past (how was I "functioning" this way for so long & never fully...
    sitasings sitasings 26-30 4 Responses Jan 22

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    Here Goes Nothing... (Again)

    1. I know a new sense of belonging. The feelings of emptiness and loneliness will disappear. 2. I am no longer controlled by my fears. I overcome my fears and act with courage integrity and dignity. 3. I know a new freedom. 4. I release myself from worry, guilt and regret about...
    Lingaloo83 Lingaloo83 26-30 1 Response Feb 7, 2013

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    I'm Terrified And Tired

    Here I am, I KNOW I'm codependent and I have known this for the past couple of years, since a very painful break up . . . and I find myself dating someone again. Not only am I making myself insane by sitting around thinking about nothing but this person and what he might be...
    MargaretATL MargaretATL 41-45, F 2 Responses Jan 4, 2013

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    Jlk081981 Jlk081981 31-35 1 Response Mar 28

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