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I Am a Cutter

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,241 People

    I ended up cutting myself again,

    though due to all the scars I have, I can't really feel anything. I just feel I should give up and stop fighting as much as I do. it is going to happen wether or not I want it to, so I might as well accept it, then it might not hurt as much when my other personality cuts me
    tallestshadow tallestshadow 22-25, T 1 Response Jun 10

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    My Daughter

    My daughter used to cut herself.  It would take too long to share her story and it's not mine to share.  She used drugs for a few years and went to rehab.  Afterwards she got a bumper sticker that said 'Rehab is for Quitters'.  Funny but not.  She is...
    TiredSadandDepressed TiredSadandDepressed 41-45, F 9 Responses Aug 22, 2007

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    Two Years..

    in a day it will have been 2 years since i left her behind.. and just over 2 years since i took a box cutter to my wrists. blacked out and still shaking, i don't even remember doing it. she came home and i confronted her about the truth and she saw my angry marks and took it...
    BarNapkinPoet BarNapkinPoet 22-25, F 2 Responses Oct 14, 2007

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    It's been 338 days since I last cut myself.

    I started self harming in 2008 after my life fell apart. In 2006 I failed out of college, got really sick and ended up in the hospital, and that summer married a guy I barely knew. When the marriage fell apart at the end of 2007, I was completely numb. I just wanted to feel...
    in1medias1res in1medias1res 26-30, F Mar 16

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    I havent cut in months

    but tonight i feel a very strong urge to. Why cant i get over this? Why wont it stop?
    WorkInProgress2012 WorkInProgress2012 26-30, F Feb 25, 2014

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    I cut. I bleed. For most of the days.

    I get hurt easily, and I am not perfect. The slightest of things make me angry, and I end up hurting the people around me with my cruel words. But I assure you, I have my reasons for my anger. Most of it comes from my past, my father's rules, my boyfriends, and the number of...
    Cue0811 Cue0811 18-21 1 Response Jul 26, 2014

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    I'll Never Win..but I'll Never Lose.

    I don't know if you ever really get over the urge..I sure as hell haven't. I still think of it daily..I still finger the blade and think. I think want to feel that burning sensation...the weakness when it's too deep..the thrill when it won't stop oozing. Then the worry that...
    luckypickle luckypickle 26-30 25 Responses Oct 17, 2009

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    I Cut Myself Too

    Well.....I started peeling off old cuts...it hurt but i liked it, i don't know why, it was kinda like my thing, my own personal secret.  I got quite a few scars.  When i was 18 i started cutting myself, i stopped because i hatted the scars.  Scars have faded, or...
    scaredlonelyalways scaredlonelyalways 26-30, F 3 Responses Nov 18, 2007

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    I cut lastnight. They hurt

    and I honestly don't even know why I did it. I think sometimes I just want the pain... the numbness that follows. Being empty. I know that I have friends who love me... but I can't help feeling so alone. I know that if I stopped texting them... they wouldn't text me at all. I...
    AzyureAngel AzyureAngel 18-21, F 4 Responses Sep 17, 2014

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    Why Again

    I cut myself today after not doing it a few years i fight not to everyday but its beating me down.
    Acid1 Acid1 70+, F 4 Responses Aug 2, 2013

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    Its been 60+ days since I last self-harmed

    and I'm feeling pretty good about it! :)
    TryingToLoveLifeNow TryingToLoveLifeNow 18-21, F 2 Responses Oct 27, 2014

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    Well I recovered...my situation was a bit

    different, I have Asperger's syndrome... I didn't take any medication at the time and I was depressed over everything.
    deleted deleted 26-30 Jan 19

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    I Started Cutting Again

    Gosh as I write this all I can think is I hope my husband doesn't find out at least not this soon, not when the cuts are so fresh. We just moved to a new state. Maybe the stress of moving brought it on. Maybe not feeling like a good mom to my two small children or maybe not...
    tairadactyl tairadactyl 26-30, F Mar 31, 2013

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    Reasons?

    I don’t know why I’m writing this. And there wasn’t a whole lot of thought process behind this decision, but whether there was or wasn’t, this will still be frowned upon. Who really wants to hear about the reasons for cutting of self-harmers or cutters or whatever...
    ln75423 ln75423 18-21, F 3 Responses Jul 26, 2011

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    I like to cut my left upper arm.

    I emphasize that because constantly I have to battle not to extend the territory lower, to the crease of my elbow, down further, over my wrist. It sings to me. Pressure in my wrist with every heart beat begging to be sliced through. It is a melody I know so well you think I'd...
    ofthelilies ofthelilies 18-21, F Feb 8

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    I am a Sophomore in college.

    Last spring, I met the love of my life. Everything was magical at first. We knew we were made for each other. He proposed to me after 7 months, and then broke up with me 3 months after, on the week of finals, the night beforeI had to leave for another country for winter break...
    20penny 20penny 18-21, F Jan 22, 2014

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    I am looking for a cutter.

    Who wants to cut with me
    standalone2013 standalone2013 31-35, M 1 Response Aug 24, 2014

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    Help For the Cutter.

    First I want to give you some information about cutting and cutters, but remember we are all individuals and each individual is different. Statistics show that even though anyone can be a cutter, most cutters are female, in her mid-20s to early 30s, who has been hurting herself...
    BlueGeorgia BlueGeorgia 41-45, M 89 Responses Dec 26, 2007

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    I've Cut For Over 20 Years, Though Friends/family Thought I Quit In My Teens

    I've been cutting off/on since I was around 15 or 16.  I am now 35 years old and still crave the instant release that this provides.  I try not to create permanent scars- they are all over my arms, and despite having the traditional body shape considered attractive in...
    CagedKitty CagedKitty 36-40, F 4 Responses Jul 22, 2008

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    I am a cutter. Weather I go one day without

    cutting, or 1000 days without cutting, its always going to be a part of who I am. Kind of like an alcoholic, once a cutter, always a cutter. Some days are good, some are not so good, and some days I don't even think about cutting, but there are other days, like tonight, when its...
    NYSlilAngel NYSlilAngel 26-30, F 1 Response Mar 14, 2014

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    April 14, 2014. It's been a rough couple of

    months. A lot of things have happened. A lot of bad. My past is full of dark memories that I don't want to remember. I wish that I could. My boyfriend of two years cheated on me.. But I've stayed. I chose to stay, but all I think is I should've walked. I am unhappy. I told him...
    weepingblood21 weepingblood21 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 14, 2014

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    I don't even know where to start.

    . Just want to talk to someone like me.
    twintank twintank 31-35, M 2 Responses Sep 7, 2014

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    They Don't Understand

    I hate when people say that cutting is a way to get attention. If I wanted to draw attention why would I wear long sleave shirt, pants, and turtle necks in the middle of summer?? I am 26 and have been cutting since I was 10. For a while taking the disolving lorazepam worked if I...
    luckypickle luckypickle 26-30 11 Responses Jun 2, 2009

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    After 26 days of fighting the urge I gave in

    today and cut my stomach 17 times. It felt really good and then afterwards I felt like ****. I knew I had failed myself yet again and I was ashamed. I am ashamed of what I did and that shame drives me to want to do it again. I am a cutter and I am caught up in a vicious cycle...
    TryingToLoveLifeNow TryingToLoveLifeNow 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 26, 2014

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    3 1/2 years down the drain.

    I tried so hard, Some days I would forget what I used to be. I was just so overwhelmed and went to sit in the bathroom and smoke a cig. By the way, that was my cutting spot. Just being there feeling the way that I did, the urge came trampling at me without ease. I contemplated...
    jcarr0059 jcarr0059 18-21, F 3 Responses Sep 10, 2014

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    I started cutting in the 6th grade.

    why? Honestly I did it because it made me feel better, and I felt better when I saw my blood. I cut my arms, and legs. Everyday I plastered a fake *** smile on my face and acted like I was happy. Then I fell in love with someone who ******* meant everything to me, and because of...
    Babebat222 Babebat222 18-21, F Feb 15, 2014

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    Help

    I'm a senior in high school. A few years ago, I started cutting. I just didn't make friends and I was in middle school. My parents were on me about my weight and I wasn't even heavy or fat, they just wanted me to get faster for sports. I lost all my friends, made a couple of...
    crystalrave crystalrave 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 17, 2013

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    I Found My Saving Grace

    I have been on a deadly path of cuttins since i was 15 an i am 41 no. my therapist told me last me week i was bordering life or death but that wasnt enough to stop me. my gf and i got into an argument and she said you push my buttons. she hadnt a clue how that affected me. my mom...
    lovechell69 lovechell69 41-45, F 8 Responses May 6, 2011

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    I relapsed today, It had been

    since May. I'm not upset about it though. In fact, I forgot how good it felt. How in control it made me. How that little silver blade brings beautiful scarlett color out of my body, how it flows in droplets, how calming it is. My kit is alway there for me and it has been since I...
    BrittBee22 BrittBee22 22-25, F 3 Responses Jul 11, 2014

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    I started when I was 15.

    I just remember looking at a paint scraper and thinking, "I want that." Now I have moved onto sharper more clean razors but I also know that cutting will never help me. I'm trying to stop. I have lost two relationships because of my cutting. Cutting has been a curse in my life...
    TryingToLoveLifeNow TryingToLoveLifeNow 18-21, F Feb 15, 2014

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    Today is my birthday

    and I will have gone 9 days at the end of today without cutting. Not cutting is a gift to myself. I will overcome this addiction one day at a time.
    TryingToLoveLifeNow TryingToLoveLifeNow 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 7, 2014

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    Cutting...again

    i have been cutting since i was 12. no one ever knew until a few months  ago.  my best friend suspected, but i had never actually told her. now so many years later i am still in the same boat. i want to hurt, i want to see the blood, and feel it drip into a puddle on...
    metalgirl99 metalgirl99 36-40, F 1 Response Apr 20, 2008

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    What My World Is Like

    Im trapped in what seems like a beautiful garden but all are blind to the fact that the lovely flowers surrounding me are more poisonous than the deadliest snake venom. They wind and curl around me tightening until I can hardly breath. No one hears the pain in my voice or see the...
    Acid1 Acid1 70+, F 4 Responses Oct 11, 2013

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    To Cut Or Not To Cut

    I CUT FOR YEARS...you can clearly read WHO DARE WIN On my forearm. (not one tat) just razors... when I was reading a book by Anthony robins I learned something profound.... that if you want to stop a bad habit . You must first find out the GOOD part (usually a tiny part...
    TEMPOLTON TEMPOLTON 41-45, M 3 Responses Apr 1, 2012

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    A Walk Through My Mind

    Today is March 27, 2013. I think that I need to clear my head. Release my thoughts. I don't really know what I want out of life. I don't know if I should even be on this Earth, to be honest. People says I'm such a horrible person. That I do everything wrong. Somedays I believe...
    weepingblood21 weepingblood21 18-21, F 4 Responses Mar 27, 2013

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    Walk A Mile In My Shoes

    Today is February 19, 2013. All i have to say is that it is easier to judge others for their mistakes when you haven't been in their situation. I don't need people telling me that I am good for something, or that I need a good spanking. I was hit as a child. I don't need a hand...
    weepingblood21 weepingblood21 18-21, F 5 Responses Feb 20, 2013

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    I Am 30 and I Still Cut

    Are there others out there who are my age or older who cut? It is always portrayed as an teenage problem. I cut as a teen, but I cut much worse now. Am I somewhat psychologically immature or stunted? I can't imagine other people finding out because I am so afraid that they...
    KeepMySecrets KeepMySecrets 26-30, F 4 Responses Jul 1, 2008

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    Cutting in the living room again.

    Not much for right now, but deeper than they've been for awhile. And more to come later, I'm sure. No stopping it right now. Something about the initial swell of blood. Something about the bite. The sensation of breaking through old scar.
    SunnysBlueForever SunnysBlueForever 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 20, 2014

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    I haven't cut in a really long time

    and it's been a struggle lately to not regress. Right at this moment I feel like I need a cut to keep myself going another day.
    ifonlydreamscametrue ifonlydreamscametrue 18-21, F 4 Responses Aug 6, 2014

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    Scars.

    I've got scars all over my body, and each one tells a story.  They are physical reminders of events in my life, lest I forget the wisdom I (should have) picked up along my journey.  Some are much more evident than others; the prominent ones are lessons to be remembered...
    DopeyGirl DopeyGirl 31-35, F 4 Responses Dec 30, 2007

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    Just Some Feelings

    The Scars I see you look, but you dont really see Even when Im standing in front of you Are you that blind or just dont care Do you see the scars my arms bare I cut to survive I cut because I do not want to die I cant express in words what I feel I will not die I...
    jeng7623 jeng7623 26-30, F 3 Responses Nov 29, 2012

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    I am 41 years old...I have been cutting

    since I was 14....I have many scars that I know people notice...I just want to stop..
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses 4 days ago

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    I cut for the first time in a year tonight.

    Boyfriend broke up with me and I tried to fight for him and found out its really all my fault it happened. My fault. Famous last words for the razor getting pulled out. Seeing the blood trickle out in red rivers down my arm soothes me in ways I don't understand. I didn't...
    Mnhaunted Mnhaunted 26-30, F Nov 21, 2014

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    24 years old and I still feel like

    that little girl stuck with the knife in her hand! After all these years and after all this time fighting these urges they're still as strong as they ever were. Dios dame fuerte.... I hate that I love it. It's the only thing that gets me by sometimes.
    LittleBird131 LittleBird131 22-25, F 1 Response Mar 30, 2014

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    Why?

    Everything with my life is going great right now. Why do i still want to cut?
    WorkInProgress2012 WorkInProgress2012 26-30, F 3 Responses Apr 26, 2013

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    Maybe'S

    Today is January 29, 2013. I know I haven't been writing lately, I have no excuse nor reason why. I just have been trying to get better on my own. I feel guilty about something that happened in my past, and now I have lost more than a few friends. But the truth, I don't care. I...
    weepingblood21 weepingblood21 18-21, F 3 Responses Jan 29, 2013

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