I Am a Gay Man Married to a Straight Woman

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 259 People

    Been married for over 31 years.

    In 1982, two years before we got married, I admitted to my now wife that I thought I was gay. As AIDS was just starting and I didn't have a gay model in which I could recognize myself, I decided to marry her fir the best and the worst. I am still attracted to the male body and...
    narcis60 narcis60
    56-60, M
    5 Responses Sep 11, 2015

    Trying To Come Out

    I have been trying to come out for a while now, the big thing is that i am married to a woman for eight years and have 3 kids, i did come out, i even got a tattoo to show that i am proud, but dont know what to do, i do wonder what my life would be like to go ahead and be me, any...
    gayvet gayvet
    36-40, M
    4 Responses Apr 14, 2013

    I'm a married man with a straight wife.

    I love her very much but I love to have sex with men. I find it much more of what I wont and love to be the salve. I just can't tell her as I know she will be so very up set and may even leave me. I don't wont that but would like to find a good man friend to have good sex with...
    phd1956 phd1956
    61-65, M
    4 Responses Aug 28, 2014

    Entire life played football

    and baseball. Deep voice. Broad shoulders. Guys guy type. Totally masculine in both action and interest. Well except one thing. Always known I have been attracted to dudes but just didn't make sense to me. Fast forward to 32 and I have a wife with two young children. Few...
    fridaynightguy fridaynightguy
    36-40, M
    4 Responses Nov 14, 2015

    I'm probably still technically bisexual

    as I flirt with and find other women attractive and arousing. But I'm relatively happily married, with a young daughter, but in a near sexless marriage. I've been bisexual since my late 20s (I'm 42 now) and had many flings, affairs and one night stands with both men and women...
    flyone flyone
    41-45, M
    1 Response Mar 22, 2016

    Just came out as gay to my wife at 60 years old.

    We're struggling. She's so hurt. I'm lost. In therapy, I think she now will seek help too. Anyone in or experienced this?
    latetothegame latetothegame
    61-65, M
    4 Responses May 3, 2015

    Wish I Could Be Me!

    I don't know which experience too start with my life is full of them, so this is my current I'm 50 years old I have been married for 33 years I have known that I was gay for why lie? all of my life. I have a wife who is 53 and a boy friend of two years who is 23; I love them...
    Ty1963 Ty1963
    51-55, M
    1 Response Sep 9, 2013

    So I have been really working through being

    honest with my wife. I have been married 6 years and though I have always been attracted to men, I have never told her. 2 months ago I did and it was SUCH a relief! So needless to say we have had numerous chats about it and trying to find our "new normal". It's been good but...
    MrNurseGuy MrNurseGuy
    31-35, M
    5 Responses Aug 15, 2014

    Anyone in the Atlanta area looking

    for some nsa play with a secret bi guy? Your wife will never find out, cause I'll never come out of the closet.
    deleted deleted
    1 Response Jul 12, 2015

    I fell in love with my wife in a whirlwind

    romance and we got married at 25. We had a good sex life for 30 years, and had 3 children. However I luvedvandcworked in Africa,
    deleted deleted
    2 Responses Mar 10, 2016

    Beat this story! Am now 57 married

    for 22. yrs 2 kids 18 and 15. In high profile military career..... Been gay forever. She found emails 15 years ago and I said I'm bi. She Is ok with it.... We have not talked about it for 15 years but it's clear I look at and hav interest in guys. We just don't discuss and we...
    Scottnla888 Scottnla888
    56-60, M
    Jun 29, 2015

    Heeey... Long story short,

    7 years ago I felt that maybe my family was right, that I wasn't gay and that I was just brought into that lifestyle from being bullied in school and growing up without a close relationship with my father. And that somehow with faith and time things could change. I was...
    NIX1980 NIX1980
    36-40, M
    4 Responses Jan 7, 2015

    I am a gay man that has been married

    now to my wife for 40 years. Yes she knew long before we married 6 years to be exact. We met in High School at the age of 16 and were introduced buy a mutual friend (she had a major crush on me and I was not interested at all). We met in the library in the small Midwest town...
    marinbear marinbear
    5 Responses Dec 4, 2013

    I came out to my wife a month ago,

    it crushed her. She is an amazing woman I truly do love her, I just can't love her the way that she needs a man to love her. I have two beautiful children a 3yr old and a 4 month old. I don't regret my marriage or my children. I know this will be better for everyone in the...
    RobertE22 RobertE22
    4 Responses Mar 4, 2015

    I too am in this particular situation.

    I've been seeing a therapist and have had some interesting revelations about how I've gotten myself into this situation but no clear plan to get out. I'm 56 with adult children etc. this is not a situation I'm glad to be in but I'm slowly concluding that I have to own it. I...
    dkevan dkevan
    56-60, M
    1 Response Aug 20, 2015

    I'm 53. Married 20 years.

    Last Christmas, I accidentally fell in love with a beautiful 23 year-old guy, with whom I happened to be good friends. But I think he's straight: and he gave me dirty looks as soon as a friend of ours suggested to him that I might be gay. It hurts me what he thinks of me now. I...
    Aidanpaul Aidanpaul
    51-55, M
    1 Response Sep 21, 2015

    I have come out to my wife

    and we have separated to think. My wife wants me to move home and try to live a "straight" lifestyle. I'm not happy living that lifestyle. I'm attracted to men but don't want to be. I'm very religious and being gay is very unacceptable in my religion and my family. At the point...
    wesbrownbear87 wesbrownbear87
    26-30, M
    4 Responses Jun 21, 2015

    She knows now and the last few days have been

    incredibly awkward. I felt like I was in limbo before and now it feels like there is a spotlight on me.
    ChristianCrowne ChristianCrowne
    46-50, M
    3 Responses Jul 16, 2015

    I am thinking of telling my wife

    that I am gay. Does anyone have experience doing this? I am terrified.
    man4man1975 man4man1975
    41-45, M
    8 Responses Aug 29, 2014

    First off, let me say

    that I am not gay. I define gay as someone that is happy with their sexuality, lifestyle...what ever you want to call it. I am not. I have been married to my wife for 30 years. I love her and do not want to hurt her in any way. But that is just what I have done by lying to...
    MarkS441 MarkS441
    56-60, M
    5 Responses Dec 23, 2013


    When I say gay and married I would love to have full sex with another man to feel his  **** in my hand and lick his **** and take all the *** he can give me so anyone wants to take off my L plates and make a man happy get in touch.
    deleted deleted
    2 Responses Dec 26, 2011

    Hi everyone I'm a gay top/bi virgin boy.

    .....I want to have a good family life in future with lovely kids.....I'm scared should I marry a girl or not.....will I be able to keep our sex life satisfactory.....will I be able to produce kids with her.......how were u all able to keep ur wife satisfied?....like did u forced...
    jailed jailed
    18-21, M
    2 Responses Nov 14, 2015

    A New Societal Trend Observed- Gay Men Married To Straight Women

    During the course of the past year a number of gay men have consulted with me about obtaining a divorce. These are not gay men married to other gay men. These are gay men married to women. I’ve practiced family law and been a divorce consultant for over twenty-five years...
    massdivorcelaw massdivorcelaw
    56-60, F
    3 Responses Nov 8, 2013

    Do you ever look at a family walking by,

    a mom, a dad and kids, and think "I wish I could be that person".
    RobertE22 RobertE22
    4 Responses Mar 15, 2015

    Been married to her for 31 years she has

    maintained her straight orientation and i have developed and let my feminine side take charge which led me to bisexual actions and now i am gay and desire male company we agreed to share our intimate lives with each other but our desires and needs must be met so she has those...
    alexiswcd alexiswcd
    56-60, T
    1 Response Nov 1, 2015

    I'm nearly 40, married to a lovely woman

    for over a decade. We have two wonderful kids. I love my wife and haven't cheated her and no plans for that either. Never been with men bar a few silly wanks in gay saunas. We hardly ever have sex - 4 times a year tops. She's not into sex either. I don't feel comfortable with...
    Nutgrover Nutgrover
    41-45, M
    4 Responses Jul 11, 2015

    Yeah. So. I've been married

    for about 11 years now. I've always known I was gay but hid it. I couldn't come to terms with it and the negative repercussions of exposing my secret. Now I have even more at stake with a wife and daughter. My depression is getting much worse and I can't help but think that it's...
    maelstrom32 maelstrom32
    36-40, M
    11 Responses Feb 16, 2014

    I am a gay married man to a wonderful woman.

    I came out to her a few years ago, I thought that our marriage was over because of it but it has made us closer. My wife is my best friend and I am glad that we are still together after almost 20 years now
    deleted deleted
    3 Responses Jul 14, 2015

    okay.... I'm a married women to a man

    who I think is gay.... help me figure this out
    pookie143 pookie143
    26-30, F
    2 Responses Jun 18, 2015

    Sometimes I want to just get it over with

    and tell everyone else in my life who I really am. But the consequences are too frightening.
    MrNurseGuy MrNurseGuy
    31-35, M
    1 Response Jul 31, 2014

    Gay And Married..

    As the title describes, I'm a closeted gay and married to a woman!! It's an interesting journey that I'm going through, but I can't blame anyone, because that was my choice & choose this path being completely aware of the consequences. I was just wondering if there are other...
    manomamk manomamk
    31-35, M
    17 Responses Jun 12, 2013

    Traditional Marraige

    i'm 21 years old and married. which was something i never planned on doing, i always imagined myself putting that off till my late thirties. i wouldnt mind being engaged for 10 years if it meant we were built to last, marrying young can obviously cause problems.but i also put off...
    MadameAdam MadameAdam
    18-21, M
    1 Response Jan 29, 2013

    Not My Fault

    my wife wont do what a man can do for me like getting bone in the butt and she barely suck my **** shes not freaky
    smithwillie34 smithwillie34
    1 Response Aug 5, 2012
    jonathon3 jonathon3
    26-30, T
    Nov 5, 2014

    Married Gay Man

    I am in my mid forties and have been married for over twenty years. I suppose I have always been turned on by the thoughts of having sex with a man. Lately this has become a obsession and is taking over my life what should I do
    Peter1935 Peter1935
    41-45, M
    9 Responses Apr 13, 2011

    I have gone back and forth (women

    and men). But now, as I have gotten older, and thinking about the past, having sex with men is far more satisfying and passionate. I have been married for 26 years and have no desire to have sex with my wife. However, when I am by myself, a craving for men totally occurs...
    chaiguy18 chaiguy18
    51-55, M
    4 Responses Sep 19, 2014

    How long have you been married post disclosure?

    How old are you and your wife? How long have you been married? Do you have children? We were married 6 years post disclosure before she left a year ago. 3 children. Just curious about others in this scenario and how yall have made it work. To make it work, does it always have...
    newlyout newlyout
    1 Response Jul 18, 2015
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