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I Am a Husband In a Sexless Marriage

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 4,458 People

    My Sexless Marriage

    M y wife and I have no sex life. Well not entirely but 3-4 times per year does not count as a sex life to me. I don't think that it counts as a sex life to her either. We have discussed it and she admits that is not healthy but refuses to do anything about it. She claims that...
    nolust nolust 36-40 55 Responses Aug 15, 2008

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    When Your Wife Won't Pay Attention Just Remember I Will (:

    She is old news and I'm young and fun. Don't you wanna come along for the ride (:
    Prettylittlesugarbaby Prettylittlesugarbaby 18-21, F 4 Responses Jul 28, 2012

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    I Fear For The Future Of My Marriage

    Almost every story is the same. A child comes into the picture, the spouses get comfortable, the sex virtually stops. This is mine as well. I give my wife the benefit of the doubt. She is exhausted (for good reason!), she does so much for me and our son, gave up her career for...
    LoveMyWifeForever LoveMyWifeForever 31-35 10 Responses Nov 4, 2013

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    Been married for 13 years.

    Sex was great at first, but after marriage it went downhill. Had 2 affairs over time which didn't help i know. But i've been affair free for over 3 years. We're more friends than lovers at this point. Anyone else feel like this? Is it normal? Don't know what to do...
    netman19 netman19 41-45, M 6 Responses Mar 21

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    Here I am, Just like all of you husbands,

    sexless marriage, WTF, what to do about it. Who am I: been married for 20 years, one child, in college (Doing great !!). So now its a empty nest. I am employed, BUT I DO ALL the cooking, cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping, vacuuming, toilets, cleaning the shower, etc. Being...
    Larsimages Larsimages 51-55, M 10 Responses Mar 25

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    Last night I met a women in a bar I don't know

    how but some how we got talking then that's when it started. I live in a sexless marriage for the past year now, I've had offers from women when I go out into my town on a night out but last night I was away and so was she! She too lives in a sexless marriage she has 2 children...
    andy8669 andy8669 26-30, M 2 Responses Dec 1, 2013

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    Surround By People But Still Lonely

    Surrounded By People But Still Lonely I am friendly and have many friends (acquaintances). I am social and have been in three careers Army 11 years, parole agent 19 years and now an insurance agent. I now how to listen and talk and solve problems, but there is an underlying...
    flirtwithme flirtwithme 46-50, M 3 Responses Nov 1, 2013

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    One Handed Man Looking For More

    I have been in a sexless marriage for years, no passion, no cuddling no nothing. My wife tolerates me. If there is any touching it is me doing the touching. I turn in the bed to just snuggle, just touch the warmth of her body, which misewell be like the ice queen, it is not...
    flirtwithme flirtwithme 46-50, M 34 Responses Mar 7, 2009

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    Unfortunately, there is always "gray".

    I was in a sexless marriage for years and didn't even really know it, until I finally spoke up and looked up what the condition of my marriage was. Sure enough, when you wife only does it every 10 months out of obligation, never giving any kind of *cough* assistance like bj or...
    FiremanforYou FiremanforYou 31-35, M 5 Responses Jan 29

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    Living In A Sexless Marriage - Had An Affair - Over Now - Feel Empty What To Do?

    I live in a sexless marriage.  Intimacy was once an important part of our lives.  But my wife became less and less interested in it, rejecting me every day I tried to be romantic.  Now we make love maybe once a month if that.  Even then its a hurry up and lets get this over...
    runswithspirit runswithspirit 46-50, M 6 Responses May 15, 2012

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    I got married when I was 21,

    we had tough times as we where young trying to get the house the family but we got that all now, but we don't have each other, it's like we are strangers in are own home, wish I could change it back to the way it use to be, but it's not as simple as that... Guess theres plenty...
    truckentrev truckentrev 36-40, M 5 Responses Feb 2

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    OK, here's my story. 38 years old,

    married for for 8+ years, with three kids, age 6, 5, and 3. When our marriage began, we had the typical "can't keep our hands off each other" sex life, which I think was even more intense because she had the motherhood clock ticking faster since she married at age 30. This was...
    jbmaine38 jbmaine38 36-40, M 6 Responses Mar 15

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    So here am going into the third month without,

    again. My wife obviously thinks there is nothing wrong. It is funny, if I can use that word to describe it, how I cling to fidelity in the face of interest from other women. Sometimes I wonder if there is something wrong with me for not taking women up on their advances. We...
    RedVancouver RedVancouver 36-40, M 5 Responses Mar 16

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    "It'S OVER"

    I wrote a few times about being in a sexless marriage with hopes and confusion of what was going on and what I was/was not doing. We finally are separating and I couldn't be happier! Our kids are grown and even though it will affect them I now know that in the long run they will...
    elfer1971 elfer1971 36-40, M 5 Responses Nov 3, 2013

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    A Recent Advice Column Article . . . For What It's Worth

    Mostly about the "staying for the kids" argument, but some interesting other thoughts here. Not like most of us haven't thought of or tried a lot of this before . . . http://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/carolyn-hax-feeling-distance-in-the-marriage-but-sticking-it-out...
    TimeTrvler TimeTrvler 51-55, M Nov 6, 2013

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    I Was The Girlfriend

    Regretfully, I dated a married man for 4 months. He was in a sexless marriage for a long time. His wife had early onset dementia. He suffered from anxiety. She was his first and only lover. He stayed for the child who was then grown and stayed just because it was easier than...
    YaketyYak YaketyYak 31-35, F 5 Responses Jul 10, 2013

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    I wouldn't want to be in a sexless marriage,

    I'd make it a priority to have that alone time with my husband if I was to ever get married, especially with kids. & I sure as Hell wouldn't make it boring & lifeless, I feel the older you get with a person the closer you become & more open which should only bring positive...
    alizex7x alizex7x 18-21, F 8 Responses Apr 1

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    The first night I met her,

    I was doing the Wobble at a small bar and she was behind me. She said to her friend to check out my *** and I glanced back smiling. She then said, "Oh my, he heard me" and covered her mouth in such a cute way. Friend me 4 rest because dumb thing is blocking me and I didn't even...
    FiremanforYou FiremanforYou 31-35, M 1 Response Jan 28

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    We Lost Her Son

    My wife and I have been together for almost 5 years, married almost 2. 3 years ago her son and his best friend were in a fatal car accident. Our lives have been changed forever. I have been by her side every step of the grueling grieving process and will continue to do so. But...
    jike1 jike1 41-45 3 Responses Sep 30, 2013

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    I am 41 years old. I've been married 15 years

    and we have two incredible daughters. When my wife hit 30 and had our daughters she completely lost her sex drive. I've been struggling with this for 13 years. I love her, but now I'm starting to wonder if I just am attached to our family. I just started seeing a counselor to...
    Jemlong Jemlong 41-45, M 8 Responses Feb 7

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    Taking Matters Into My Own Hands.

    My wife and I are in our 60s and we have long since ceased to be intimate. This does not appear to bother her but i am extremely frustrated and I ********** frequently. I chat online and manage to share my fantasies with strangers but if I had my time over again I would think...
    wanderlust201143 wanderlust201143 61-65, M 7 Responses Nov 16, 2011

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    I won't say my marriage is sexless just not any

    where close to where I want it. No intimacy just sex. Talk to your blue in the face. Won't change nothing
    october004 october004 31-35, M 1 Response Apr 5

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    Welcome to Hell!

    If you're a man who wants to see his kids everyday, but you live in a sexless marriage with a gorgeous woman who you used to have regular amazing sex with... is there really anything closer to hell on earth? You get divorced she gets the house, the kids, and you get... screwed...
    Shoreboy Shoreboy 41-45, M 84 Responses Jun 18, 2009

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    Why Me..

    I ask myself the same questions over and over again why me. My wife she does not like me looking at her naked. We dont even kiss anymore. WShe does want me to touch her anymore. I miss that so much. It is killing our marriage.
    apittsburghguy apittsburghguy 36-40, M 23 Responses Aug 23, 2009

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    I will make this post brief,

    at least for me. For my history, please see my previous story postings. For a brief time things seemed to be going in the positive direction. There was more intimacy in terms of touching and little signs of affection. Within 2 to 3 weeks, those went away. I mentioned them...
    ABallInHighGrass ABallInHighGrass 41-45, M 2 Responses Dec 5, 2013

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    I'm the Daughter That Saw Her Parents Grow Apart From a Sexless Marriage

    Growning up as a kid was great! I had a lot of love and saw a lot of love in my home. My dad worked all the time, up to 3 jobs at any given time, but always 2. He was a mechanic and a Banjo Man. Mom was a stay at home mom with 4 kids by her side and she was excellent at it...
    SilverMoon58 SilverMoon58 46-50, F 22 Responses Aug 29, 2009

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    I Too Am A Husband In A Sexless Marriage

     I have been amazed to see the amount of web sites, blogs and entries on this subject – and let me say to everyone, ‘Thank you ‘ for your open-ness, perspective, input and guidance ! It is somewhat re-assuring to see all of this; that others are going...
    usac42 usac42 46-50, M 15 Responses Jan 10, 2010

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    A Type Of Freedom

    Through 22 years of marriage, including that last nine that were almost completely sexless, I have never "cheated" (although I honestly don't consider it cheating, that's the common term). Until last week that is. The relieve I feel from a single night of sex has led me to do...
    stackscampbell stackscampbell 51-55, M 6 Responses Mar 15, 2013

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    The End Is Near, Direction Unknown.

    I registered for this site last week, found it to be fantastic is a very short time. Found some very intuitive thoughts and stories and some advice. I have tried for a very long time to fix this sexless marriage, to again attain a level of intimacy and to hold a hand, get a hug...
    JRD22 JRD22 51-55, M 14 Responses Mar 20, 2012

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    First off, let me say I love my wife.

    When I imagine life without her, i am saddened. However, I have read a couple of these posts and have experienced the same thing. When my wife and I first met, sex was phenomenal! When we had intercourse it lasted for about 2 hours, her sex drive was equally driven as mine...
    nobleninja nobleninja 41-45 7 Responses Mar 4

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    I am in the same position.

    Almost 40 years of marriage. She lost her sex drive 18 years ago. I learned to live with it but not easy. She's my best friend so leaving was not an option.
    Loveracing Loveracing 56-60, M 5 Responses Feb 13

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    Maybe We Need A New Title.. I Live In A Passionless Marriage Without Intimacy

    I have written and replied to many of the sexless marriage stories on EP, and when I think about all of it, it has little to do with just sex for me. To me the ideal way to fill the current void in this marriage, would be to find a woman married, single or involved who wanted ro...
    mandown mandown 61-65, M 13 Responses Jan 20, 2013

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    What Does The Bible Say About A Sexless Marriage

    1 Corinthians 7 Concerning Married Life “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” 2 But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. 3 The husband should fulfill...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Oct 23, 2013

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    It has not been this way

    for all of our 40+ year marriage,just the last three or so,I can't understand why but my imagination tends to run wild,we went from 1 or 2 a week to 1 maybe 2 a Month but when I ask it's all my fault.
    gjduclo gjduclo 61-65, M 3 Responses Mar 23

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    Wilted Flower Syndrome

    As I lived through my 30's and into my 40's, I came to an observation: people are like garden plants: some spring up fast, others are slower to act, eventually they flower and then... some will just wilt while others cycle into a new flush. When the garden gets overgrown, it is...
    7thmaster 7thmaster 46-50, M 3 Responses Jul 30, 2012

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    It's Not Just About The Sex....

    I don't think its about the sex anymore. Not that our sex life has improved dramatically or anything, it really hasn't. It is top of mind in our relationship but that hasn't equated into any lasting change...in our case it only changes for a week or so and then it runs out of...
    TTBM TTBM 31-35, M 7 Responses Apr 14, 2012

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    Same Story

    I live for my kids because my wife treats me like.. Well I don't even know. I am trapped in a sexless marriage and trapped good. I make a good wage, and with kids, there is no way to extricate myself. I love my kids so much it hurts when I think about them in a situation like...
    RedVancouver RedVancouver 36-40, M 9 Responses Sep 18, 2013

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    The Game Women Can Play That Men Can't

    I'm not sure if I can say more than has already been said other than how pissed off I am.  I have tried my whole life to do the right thing, instead of staying single getting married, putting up with all the excuses why there's no sex and all the other bullshit.  I don't care...
    jb02157 jb02157 46-50, M 13 Responses Mar 1, 2011

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    I'm Tired of Trying

    I am a 38 yr. old married to my high school sweetheart. We have been together for about 21 yrs. and married for 15. In the spirit of full discolsure, I am a recovering alcoholic who has been sober for 8.5 yrs. My wife and I were divorced and remarried. There was an affair (me...
    marriedtoroommate marriedtoroommate 36-40 3 Responses Sep 15, 2009

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    Am I to Blame

    I am a member of the main group too, but I decided to come over here as well. Does anyone else think they may be responsible in some way for their situation? I can't help but to feel somehow to blame.
    coldshower247 coldshower247 31-35, M 30 Responses Mar 30, 2008

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    Ok, I've been married

    for nearly 20 years. We used to be VERY active and shared a mutual love for SEX: adventurous, sharing, exciting, fulfilling, SEX! Nothing new here - frequency started declining when we had kids (our oldest is 11), but still enjoyable and mutual. We even expanded on our...
    cinnamonswirl cinnamonswirl 46-50, M 5 Responses Dec 31, 2013

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    I'D Like To Help!!

    I talk to women everyday about how they aren't getting it at home, but now it's time to help out my fellas, so ask away, I'm more than sure I got an answer for ya!!!
    dreamingwrecklessly dreamingwrecklessly 31-35, M 2 Responses Oct 26, 2013

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    Don't know where to start the story.

    Cut it short, me and my wife hasn't been resuming bed activities since my little one was borned. She's 5th month now. I think we hasn't done it when she's 7month pregnant. Even way before that, we don't really have sex often. Maybe say, once a month. I know it's unhealthy, but...
    Goingopti Goingopti 26-30, M 5 Responses Dec 16, 2013

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    Last Month I met someone on Ashley Madison,

    The funny thing is that she is going through menopause just like my wife but unlike my wife it makes her horny. VERY HORNY! and I must say so far so good. Look guys I'm 47 and I figure I got about 15 years of quality sex left in my life. When we were having sex (what was that...
    gipit33 gipit33 46-50, M 5 Responses Dec 20, 2013

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    Sexless Christian Marriage Part 2

    Christian Sexless marriage Part 2 1 Corinthians 7:4-6 King James Version (KJV) 4The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. 5Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a...
    NMBtruth1 NMBtruth1 41-45, M 6 Responses Jul 1, 2011

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    I don't get the NY Times,

    but I saw a copy of the magazine lying around yesterday, with this cover article . . . pretty good stuff. http://www.nytimes.com/2014/02/09/magazine/does-a-more-equal-marriage-mean-less-sex.html
    TimeTrvler TimeTrvler 51-55, M 4 Responses Feb 12

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    Hi all. I bought a viberator

    while on holidays from work. And it's been amazing I've literally spent my whole day using it. Not sure what to do when I have to return to work when I have the need to fulfill. My boss and I had a thing before I went on holidays however we ended it quickly. Any ideas ok what I...
    kiara1994 kiara1994 18-21, F 20 Responses Jan 24

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    Future Forecast Not Looking Good

    Hi all. I can start off by saying that I probably don't have it nearly as bad as some of the folks on here. However based on accounts I've read and my situation, I would say its likely I'm heading towards the abyss that many of you do find yourself in. I've been with my wife...
    NoWinning NoWinning 70+, M 11 Responses Nov 15, 2013

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    I'm so tired of giving attention

    and not receiving any! I know it's the same story day after day .. How does one cope with this not getting any action for months!!! I mean how do you go out and say hey I need a mistress.. Would you like to be mine? Lol I guess that might work for some but I don't think that...
    pro0310 pro0310 31-35, M 5 Responses Jan 24

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    A Sexless Marriage From A Female View...

    So you're in a sexless marriage..now what?? I have found there are more complaints from men being in a sexless marriage than women. Have you ever wondered why? I've read many stories, including those in this group and I find that most are missing some very important aspects of...
    NobodyKnowsWhoIam NobodyKnowsWhoIam 26-30, F 88 Responses Jul 28, 2011

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    It Is My Fault

    i like and need attention, I don't need your approval ,just your attention. My wife doesn't get that. I have been waiting 28 years for her to get into her prime.It ain't here yet ,so I guess she won't now.don't remember the last kiss, or the last hug.so I have looked else where...
    bquick bquick 51-55, M 25 Responses Jan 16, 2008

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    Hi Gentlemen

    Is there a lonely husband, who wants to talk to a lonely wife? I will talk about anything. I am isolated I have not friends.  I have my young children and a husband who seems to hate me.  Watching Mickey Mouse Club House, Dora, Chugington is driving me looney.  I need adult...
    UnfathomableMe UnfathomableMe 36-40, F 19 Responses Mar 5, 2013

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    Here is what I live with.

     The woman who greets me at the door every day when I come home from work, wearing the bathrobe she's been in all day.  She suffers from the female equivalent of ED; it's called 'female impotence' and can be brought on by obesity.  For years during sex, she...
    WilliamMcTell WilliamMcTell 56-60, M 3 Responses Feb 18

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    So I come home to an empty house again.

    You are at your parents place the night before Christmas eve. I have moved whole shifts at work to be home to be with you and you are not there. Is there no room for me at all in your equations of what is importance? I shall sit in front of the TV with a bowl of Mini wheats...
    RedVancouver RedVancouver 36-40, M 4 Responses Dec 23, 2013

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    Related Experiences

    I had an incredible night. I have to share my experience. I was raised by my Grandmother, who lived in a sexless marriage. My Grandfather was a mean, cold, loveless husband. He...
    ifoundmehere ifoundmehere 41-45, F 11 Responses Mar 25

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    Two weeks ago, I shared what I thought would be my current status for awhile. Life being what it is - it has thrown me into a crazy roller coaster loop once again. The good news...
    lightblueeyes lightblueeyes 46-50, F 21 Responses Mar 28

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