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I Am a Lesbian Married to a Man

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 2,030 People

    Im 26, Ive been with a man

    for 7 years, not even married for a full year yet and ive finally come to terms with the fact that im a lesbian. I came out to my parents at age 17 but it was the end of the world and i was basically pushed back into a closet because i so badly wanted to not disappoint. I wish i...
    azulu azulu 26-30, F 6 Responses Feb 25, 2014

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    Life's so complicated.

    I love him, I love her...
    DreamCat01 DreamCat01 36-40, F 1 Response May 26

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    Confused Lesbian

    I am married to a very good man.  I too have always considered myself a good person.  I have 2 sons whom I love with all my heart.  I love my husband, but the attraction is just not there.  I dont think that it is not there for just him but for any man. ...
    DiBa DiBa 46-50 68 Responses Nov 2, 2008

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    I'm happily married and love my husband

    but sometimes I keep wondering what it be like to experience things with a woman
    TexasKindaGal TexasKindaGal 26-30, F 2 Responses Jan 20, 2014

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    I have been married for almost 10 years

    and we have four young children. Last summer I fell in love with my good friend. She was/is in a committed heterosexual relationship and after telling her how I felt, our relationship has distanced. This also might have to do with her moving (we were neighbors). The...
    Basorexia Basorexia 31-35, F 5 Responses Apr 5

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    I think I'm in the right place;

    so right that I'm probably about to write the same thing as most in this group. I have been married to a wonderful man for 10 years and we have 3 beautiful daughters. My husband has always been aware that I am (at least) bisexual, and that I have been with a couple of girls...
    deleted deleted 26-30 8 Responses Dec 21, 2013

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    i hooked up with a girlfriend i hadn't seen

    for a while last night..she took me to a her favorite ***** club, the crystal dophin... we had her fav dancer Devine and her lover lap dance on us - me mostly.. so gorgeous..felt so good.. devine was unbelievable and her tall big fitted lover (also a dancer) ate me out...came a...
    Jmichellebeckley Jmichellebeckley 46-50, F Jul 9

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    I'll be 40 this year

    and it will be mine and my husband's 15th anniversary. I do love him and have never cheated- until now. We have two kids, 8 and 5. I had been with women and men before we met. Over the years I've desired more and more to be with a woman. Having sex with my husband is only...
    DreamCat01 DreamCat01 36-40, F 3 Responses May 3

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    No Longer Qualify

    Been awhile!!! So I have moved out and moved on!!! I am getting a divorce from the man, I have come out to 90 percent of my family and the world did not end!! They were not surprised-go figure They love me for me and are not judging!!! I am dating a wonderful girl. Life is great...
    Januarywine Januarywine 51-55, F 7 Responses May 12, 2013

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    And I Just Came Out To My Husband..

    and to two of my close friends. At first, I thought it was a matter of being bi, and my hubby was ok with me meeting and dating other women. This was a few months ago. I've been dating a girl for almost two of those months now, and have been completely/bluntly honest with her...
    bluemajolica bluemajolica 31-35, F 10 Responses Nov 22, 2013

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    I have never been fully "out".

    My husband knew on our first date that I was bi. That's how I labeled myself because the truth was so much more complicated. Before my husband, I generally dated women. It wasn't until I was a senior in high school, that I actually had interest in a man. And I firmly...
    TryAnStopMe TryAnStopMe 26-30, F 4 Responses Jul 21, 2014

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    I Am Bisexual And Married To A Great Man.

    I'm a bisexual and happily married to a wonderful an understanding man, but a true and strong connection with a woman is missing from my life and it makes me feel like something is missing - not from us, but from me. I wonder if there are other married women staring out a window...
    onegirltwohearts onegirltwohearts 26-30, F 8 Responses Nov 10, 2013

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    I'm 39 years old and have been married

    for 15 years. We have two children, 10 and 12. The problem is that I am sure that I am a lesbian. We have a good marriage and he is a wonderful man and father, but as time has gone on, I have begun to have deeper and deeper feelings for women. I think that I've known that I was...
    mel1229 mel1229 36-40, F 9 Responses Jun 22

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    I've been married for almost ten years to a man.

    Two kids. It's become impossible to pretend to enjoy straight sex anymore. The older I get, the harder it is. I'm pretty much disgusted by it. It's not fair to him, but I also don't want to tear our family apart. I don't mind sacrificing my own sexual happiness for my kids, but...
    blondedyke blondedyke 36-40, F 5 Responses Apr 10

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    I came out to my husband three days ago,

    and I have never felt so relieved, happy, sad, excited, and terrified at the same time. I literally just googled "lesbians married to men" and found EP - I'd never heard of it before. I've read a few books on this subject over the past 18 months while I've been discovering my...
    txv3 txv3 26-30, F 6 Responses May 15, 2014

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    What Type of Lesbian Are You?

    This group seems to be for women who are confused about their sexuality.  My guess is you don't want to claim the title of bisexual even though you fell in love and married a man.  So what type of lesbian does that make you?  Here are a few categories you may fall...
    ichooselife ichooselife 36-40, F 63 Responses May 27, 2009

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    So, I saw my post from a week ago

    and see how much a person can change in that time. Last week I wasn't ready at all to tell my husband about my lesbian affair. This week I'm on the brink. I can't concentrate, I want to cry, I can't look at him. He asks what's wrong and I lie. Mother's Day was so hard. I have so...
    DreamCat01 DreamCat01 36-40, F 2 Responses May 11

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    Honestly, I don't expect the best of responses

    to this, but I needed to get it out. I need... help... My life hasn't been the best, but its been far from the worst. Like a lot of people, my sexuality wasn't a big thing for me growing up; I just didn't see relationships as something really important. Looking back now, I can...
    LostToReality LostToReality 22-25, F 1 Response Aug 11

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    I got moved out of my house last Thursday.

    My girlfriend and I have been busting our ***** all week getting set up for the husband's "grand inspection" when he brought the kids over. I'm ok. We're ok. He's not ok. But I can't expect him to be.
    DreamCat01 DreamCat01 36-40, F Jun 24

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    DreamCat01 DreamCat01 36-40, F 3 Responses May 17

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    My One Time And My Fantasy

    I grew up in a very conservative and closed minded Christian home. Through my teenage years and as an adult I went through a lot of pain trying to get rid of the negative and frankly rather disgusting conditioning that I underwent regarding sexuality. I have gone through...
    ET1234 ET1234 26-30, F 82 Responses Mar 31, 2012

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    My First Date With A Woman

    So a couple of months ago I decided to try to find a fwb. I saw an ad on craigslist (yes I know) and decided to respond. For privacy reasons lets say her name is Sarah. She and I immediately hit it off via email and text so we decided to meet. I was a nervous wreck. We both knew...
    behindtheseyes behindtheseyes 26-30, F 3 Responses Sep 2, 2013

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    I was in denial about being a lesbian.

    I married my best friend, I think a lot of the reason, I was subconsciously trying to find a "normal family." 2 months after getting married, all my "I think I'm a lesbian" feelings resurfaced. at first I chalked it up to parental problems and family disfunction, then I tried to...
    michellebella46 michellebella46 26-30, F 6 Responses Jul 24

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    I finally told her..because I didn't want to be

    the one to be told. Last night I mustered up the strength to tell her that I couldn't do this anymore. It's not fair to me or her husband ,to be honest. Without me in her life maybe she will face her issues and her mind will be clear enough to see what she really wants. Either...
    ARarePiece ARarePiece 31-35, F May 23

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    Sometimes when I watch the show Friends,

    it gets me so depressed. The jokes about the character Chandler's father being gay, are anything but funny to me. I stayed with my family and I love them more than life; they are the only thing I live for. I pray to die everyday, I only keep from ending my life for the thought...
    broadwayplease broadwayplease 46-50, F 1 Response Mar 21

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    Big news. I told him last night.

    My life is forever changed. He knows about my girlfriend. He knows everything. He hasn't spoken to me since. He said he was always afraid something like this would happen. When we met I told him I was a lesbian. Then ended up marrying him. That was 15 years ago this month.
    DreamCat01 DreamCat01 36-40, F 2 Responses Jun 6

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    It's Torture

    I long to be swept away madly in love with a woman so I can have the guts the man that's by my side. I do not know what to do anymore. This struggle is real and I do not know what stops me. Am I scared? Do I just care about him and his feelings more then I do my own? Am I scared...
    BlueCurrent BlueCurrent 26-30, F 3 Responses Nov 11, 2013

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    I'm 47 and I married my husband 8 years ago.

    We have been together 9 years. Before him I had been married before, but my last relationship before him was with a woman. She broke my heart worse than any man ever has. But over the years with my husband, I miss the love, affection and friendship of a woman. He and I have no...
    Trish0302 Trish0302 46-50, F 4 Responses Jun 29

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    I Am a Lesbian Married to a Straight Man

    Where do I begin? Well, I will just start from where I think I had my first inclination. When I was about 11 years old, I felt an attraction to girls when most of my friends were feeling an attraction to boys...you know 11 year old girls, all about the "boy bands"...
    sarahsinwithme sarahsinwithme 22-25, F 81 Responses Aug 30, 2008

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    I Am A Married To A Man Butwant To Be With Woman.

    I am a 39 women who wants to leave my husband. I am afraid to leave baced on the fear. I am depressed & feeling alone. I don't hve sex or injoy it with him. I don't like when he forces himself on me when I say no. I just want to run away from my marriage . Pls someone help me.
    1331jean 1331jean 36-40, F 56 Responses Aug 19, 2012

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    I very recently married my best friend.

    .. we have been close for years.. I told him I was bi because I thought I was... I don't enjoy sex with a man.. not at all.. I pretend I do but.. I really dont. Every time we have sex I imagine myself with a woman just to make it through.. then I have to go.. take care of myself...
    Jadestone22 Jadestone22 18-21, F Aug 11

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    I Am Married But Secretly Am Attracted To Women

    I am 41 and have been married for almost 17 years.  We have two children, ages 7 and 11.  I guess I have always known I was attracted to girls and knew something was different at a young age.  I never dated in high school but had a very close relationship with my...
    wendysgirl wendysgirl 36-40, F 27 Responses Mar 23, 2010

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    singh2709 singh2709 26-30, M 1 Response Aug 21

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    i am 51 a/b 4 yrs ago i came out to my husband.

    . I had been with a couple of girls b/f him. I told him i wanted to be with a woman again. He had always wondered what it would be like to be with a guy. So we started looking for a couple that we could do same sex swap with ( rule was same sex partner or each other ) Well...
    ReneaH ReneaH 51-55, F 1 Response Apr 28

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    How Long Can I Lie To Everyone Around Me?

    I was quite the tomboy growing up. Most of my friends were boys because girls were too girly. I couldn't understand why they would want to wear dresses or have done up hair and why they would pretend to run at recess when the boys chased them. I didn't ever think that I was gay...
    LiltingNinny LiltingNinny 36-40, F 12 Responses Dec 1, 2011

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    I just spent yet another day with the love of

    my life...who's married. I am a striaght (so I thought) single woman who has fallen in love with a married woman. She,too,has fell ln love with me. I never imagined I would be in a situation like this. Be with someone's spouse? Never! Now look at me. She has been unhappy for a...
    ARarePiece ARarePiece 31-35, F 2 Responses May 16

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    Hello, I am 27 years old closet BI guy

    and looking to get married with a girl. I have a masters degree and I am a working professional living in Midwest USA. I am looking for a life partner to grow old with as best of friends. I would prefer someone who is career oriented and believe in her self. Though chances are...
    indianmaverick indianmaverick 26-30, M Jan 14

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    Being Lesbian Is Not Without Reality

    When I read the stories posted here I right away can relate because I lived that lie and longed to be free to be me for many years. I did find the courage to break away and do the right thing. I read everyone's post about their dreams of being able to be totally passionate and...
    giayesim12 giayesim12 46-50, F 10 Responses Sep 15, 2013

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    I'm not sure what to do.

    My husband is my life, my best friend, my soul mate, my intellectual match, my everything. I enjoy sex with him but I usually imagine being with a woman and am so rarely present. I hate looking at all men below the waist. My husband knows I am bisexual and we sometimes joke...
    OrchidQueen OrchidQueen 26-30, F 7 Responses Dec 10, 2013

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    I'm just like the tree.

    ....strong-looking but slowly dying.
    Kholoza Kholoza 31-35, F 1 Response Aug 11

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    Well...not much longer!

    Appointment with the divorce attorney Wednesday! This is going to get harder before it gets better.
    DreamCat01 DreamCat01 36-40, F 5 Responses Jun 12

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    I'm lesbian and married

    for about 4 years. I discovered I was gay 2 years after we married and had our son. We've been able to manage but lately we've been colliding too much and now idk what to do. Any advice for someone who's young and has a young child?
    acamacho4 acamacho4 26-30, F 3 Responses Jun 6

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    I have a wonderful husband of 9 yrs

    who is kind, loves me, is great in bed (not regular enough for me) etc but I keep feeling like I need to experience a woman, I have kissed women in the past before we got together but never had the chance to go all the way. I told my husband how I feel and he said it would be...
    TrickyRuby TrickyRuby 36-40, F 4 Responses Jun 18

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    The Struggle

    What am I doing, what have I done? Who am I becoming, what have I become? Betrayer of hearts, destroyer of lives Sometimes I feel I am someone to despise. Look at what you're doing! Oh my God! Who are you kidding! What a fascade! Unsettled, anxious, lost and alone Soul hollow...
    mistletoe41 mistletoe41 41-45, F 8 Responses Sep 28, 2013

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    I'm 28 years old, been married

    for 3 years, no children. My marriage seems to have hit the perfect storm of all issues ever, and I'm stuck in the eye of the hurricane. I have known, at least consciously, for a couple of years that I am attracted to women. It scared me to face these feelings, and for the...
    twr86 twr86 26-30, F 4 Responses Dec 15, 2014

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    My husband and I finally had the talk.

    He says he just wants me to be happy and we will always be close, but I am terrified I am going to lose him from my life. We have decided to try a separation to see what works for us. I am so scared about the future, but I know I cannot go back to living lie.
    Onlyifyoucanguess Onlyifyoucanguess