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I Am a Lesbian Married to a Man

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 2,085 People

    I don't know what to tell all of you to make

    this easier. I have been out to my husband for 2 yrs. Prior to that at our meeting 15 yrs. ago, he thought I was bi. And I've been Out to my kids 2 months. I have known I was a lesbian since I was a kid. Here comes the worn out story of how I pushed it all down my entire life...
    BostonAccent BostonAccent 51-55, F 4 Responses Nov 14, 2014

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    I'M Not Into That...

    So awhile back I told my husband about my feelings, he always thought I was just Bi. I wanted to force myself to be Bi because, like many of you I was raised with the expectations of the husband kids and white picket fence. It just seemed like the only option. But I've learned...
    kinkyrainbow kinkyrainbow 31-35, F 8 Responses Nov 9, 2013

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    It's Torture

    I long to be swept away madly in love with a woman so I can have the guts the man that's by my side. I do not know what to do anymore. This struggle is real and I do not know what stops me. Am I scared? Do I just care about him and his feelings more then I do my own? Am I scared...
    BlueCurrent BlueCurrent 26-30, F 3 Responses Nov 11, 2013

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    I very recently married my best friend.

    .. we have been close for years.. I told him I was bi because I thought I was... I don't enjoy sex with a man.. not at all.. I pretend I do but.. I really dont. Every time we have sex I imagine myself with a woman just to make it through.. then I have to go.. take care of myself...
    Jadestone22 Jadestone22 18-21, F 5 Responses Aug 11, 2015

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    I came out to my husband three days ago,

    and I have never felt so relieved, happy, sad, excited, and terrified at the same time. I literally just googled "lesbians married to men" and found EP - I'd never heard of it before. I've read a few books on this subject over the past 18 months while I've been discovering my...
    txv3 txv3 31-35, F 6 Responses May 15, 2014

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    Here goes nothing...I am 31 married with 2

    adopted children. I have an amazing husband and I love him to death. I guess now looking back on my life, I have always been attracted to women. I have always pushed these emotions and feelings away. I've always done what most families want a good girl to do. marry the boy next...
    jaggedlittlepill16 jaggedlittlepill16 31-35, F 8 Responses Dec 2, 2015

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    I Am Bisexual And Married To A Great Man.

    I'm a bisexual and happily married to a wonderful an understanding man, but a true and strong connection with a woman is missing from my life and it makes me feel like something is missing - not from us, but from me. I wonder if there are other married women staring out a window...
    onegirltwohearts onegirltwohearts 26-30, F 8 Responses Nov 10, 2013

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    tiffany13fun tiffany13fun 26-30, F 2 Responses Oct 27, 2015

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    I was in denial about being a lesbian.

    I married my best friend, I think a lot of the reason, I was subconsciously trying to find a "normal family." 2 months after getting married, all my "I think I'm a lesbian" feelings resurfaced. at first I chalked it up to parental problems and family disfunction, then I tried to...
    michellebella46 michellebella46 26-30, F 5 Responses Jul 24, 2015

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    The Struggle

    What am I doing, what have I done? Who am I becoming, what have I become? Betrayer of hearts, destroyer of lives Sometimes I feel I am someone to despise. Look at what you're doing! Oh my God! Who are you kidding! What a fascade! Unsettled, anxious, lost and alone Soul hollow...
    mistletoe41 mistletoe41 41-45, F 8 Responses Sep 28, 2013

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    I never want my husband much any more.

    He literally has to beg me for sex. Yes it's sad, I don't need any bashing. I just feel so more attracted and attached to my girl.. I always want and need her. It's hard to keep telling my husband I'm not leaving him for her. I don't want to leave at all, but something has to...
    LittleTarheel14 LittleTarheel14 22-25, F 4 Responses Oct 29, 2014

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    I'm just like the tree.

    ....strong-looking but slowly dying.
    Kholoza Kholoza 31-35, F 3 Responses Aug 11, 2015

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    I Am a Lesbian Married to a Straight Man

    Where do I begin? Well, I will just start from where I think I had my first inclination. When I was about 11 years old, I felt an attraction to girls when most of my friends were feeling an attraction to boys...you know 11 year old girls, all about the "boy bands"...
    sarahsinwithme sarahsinwithme 22-25, F 82 Responses Aug 30, 2008

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    I feel stuck. I feel like I am missing

    something. I walk through the door of my house, and when I look around it feels temporary. It is a rough situation but I guess it is what I have to do for right now. Sitting here watching Christmas love stories and it just makes me sick....(suppose to be funny) Although I find...
    Nikko11 Nikko11 18-21, F Dec 21, 2015

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    i am basically looking

    for 18-28yrs old lesbian/asexual/bisexual/straight girl for short term moc and there are other terms too.things will be planned out properly and there will be confidentiality.i have no problem with your orientation,thinking and background.if you are interested,tell me about...
    imsearching4ud imsearching4ud 26-30, M Dec 5, 2015

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    My husband and I finally had the talk.

    He says he just wants me to be happy and we will always be close, but I am terrified I am going to lose him from my life. We have decided to try a separation to see what works for us. I am so scared about the future, but I know I cannot go back to living lie.
    Onlyifyoucanguess Onlyifyoucanguess 31-35, F 4 Responses Feb 19, 2014

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    Not a lesbian, bisexual.

    Pansexual, maybe. And I am happy with him, I love him to bits and he is so good to me. But Isnt there always a but There is this girl who has popped back up, and she makes my stomach do cartwheels But I wouldn't touch her
    rainbowgirlx rainbowgirlx 22-25, F 3 Responses Sep 11, 2015

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    I'm 39 years old and have been married

    for 15 years. We have two children, 10 and 12. The problem is that I am sure that I am a lesbian. We have a good marriage and he is a wonderful man and father, but as time has gone on, I have begun to have deeper and deeper feelings for women. I think that I've known that I was...
    mel1229 mel1229 36-40, F 11 Responses Jun 22, 2015

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    Confused Lesbian

    I am married to a very good man.  I too have always considered myself a good person.  I have 2 sons whom I love with all my heart.  I love my husband, but the attraction is just not there.  I dont think that it is not there for just him but for any man. ...
    DiBa DiBa 46-50 68 Responses Nov 2, 2008

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    While doing a Google search

    for "lesbian married to men" I found this site. After doing some reading, I am so relieved to know that I am not alone. My feelings if guilt for not being who my husband wants me to be are overwhelming. My fear of what my future holds is even worse. Being married and having 2...
    Adders8 Adders8 26-30, F 3 Responses Jan 16

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    My One Time And My Fantasy

    I grew up in a very conservative and closed minded Christian home. Through my teenage years and as an adult I went through a lot of pain trying to get rid of the negative and frankly rather disgusting conditioning that I underwent regarding sexuality. I have gone through...
    ET1234 ET1234 26-30, F 82 Responses Mar 31, 2012

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    What Type of Lesbian Are You?

    This group seems to be for women who are confused about their sexuality.  My guess is you don't want to claim the title of bisexual even though you fell in love and married a man.  So what type of lesbian does that make you?  Here are a few categories you may fall...
    ichooselife ichooselife 36-40, F 64 Responses May 27, 2009

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    I have a wonderful husband of 9 yrs

    who is kind, loves me, is great in bed (not regular enough for me) etc but I keep feeling like I need to experience a woman, I have kissed women in the past before we got together but never had the chance to go all the way. I told my husband how I feel and he said it would be...
    TrickyRuby TrickyRuby 36-40, F 4 Responses Jun 18, 2015

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    I've been married for almost ten years to a man.

    Two kids. It's become impossible to pretend to enjoy straight sex anymore. The older I get, the harder it is. I'm pretty much disgusted by it. It's not fair to him, but I also don't want to tear our family apart. I don't mind sacrificing my own sexual happiness for my kids, but...
    blondedyke blondedyke 36-40, F 5 Responses Apr 10, 2015

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    The train has left the station.

    I came out to my husband of 26 years on Monday. It was a very heartfelt experience. He handled the news with understanding and compassion. He's amazing and I've been mostly proud of how he's dealing with it. It helps that he has some close, supportive friends. I know this...
    confusedboomer confusedboomer 51-55, F 5 Responses Dec 19, 2014

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    Interesting evening just hanging out with my

    husband, my girlfriend and her wife. Had a little too much to drink. Hope I didn't blow the secret.
    DreamCat01 DreamCat01 36-40, F 2 Responses May 31, 2015

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    I came out to myself

    and my husband a year ago after 14 years of being together. Looking back, I always knew I was attracted to women, but I always denied my attraction or belittled it. I was so afraid of what my family would think. My fear of the world and my father's disapproval made me hate my...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Dec 6, 2015

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    I think I'm in the right place;

    so right that I'm probably about to write the same thing as most in this group. I have been married to a wonderful man for 10 years and we have 3 beautiful daughters. My husband has always been aware that I am (at least) bisexual, and that I have been with a couple of girls...
    deleted deleted 26-30 9 Responses Dec 21, 2013

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    I dated and had relationships with women

    for about 10 years before entering at ten-year committed relationship with a man. We live together now, but are in the process of separation. He knew all the while of my past and I was very open with him about my desires for women before we entered a relationship and during the...
    itspirit itspirit 36-40, F 5 Responses Oct 21, 2014

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    Honestly, I don't expect the best of responses

    to this, but I needed to get it out. I need... help... My life hasn't been the best, but its been far from the worst. Like a lot of people, my sexuality wasn't a big thing for me growing up; I just didn't see relationships as something really important. Looking back now, I can...
    LostToReality LostToReality 22-25, F 3 Responses Aug 11, 2015

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    Actually, I'm not a lesbian married to a man.

    Not anymore. But I wanted to share my story in this group so I can possibly give someone somewhere hope. Things can get better!!! I married my best guy friend in 2009. We had dated for 2 years, and then were engaged for a year. 2 years after we married, we bought a house...
    thesupernurse thesupernurse 26-30, F 6 Responses Jun 27, 2014

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    Im 26, Ive been with a man

    for 7 years, not even married for a full year yet and ive finally come to terms with the fact that im a lesbian. I came out to my parents at age 17 but it was the end of the world and i was basically pushed back into a closet because i so badly wanted to not disappoint. I wish i...
    azulu azulu 26-30, F 6 Responses Feb 25, 2014

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    Evangelical, Married But Know I Am Still Drawn To Women

    Hi Everyone, Im going to share my story, and I would love to connect with any of you who would like to (ny email etc) and make some new friends. I am 38 years old, currently living in Whyalla, South Australia. I am Mum to 4 kids, all 7 and under. I love them dearly. I love my...
    jelpick jelpick 36-40, F 15 Responses Dec 12, 2012

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    After reading some of these stories,

    mine just doesn't seem so bad. Why do I feel like I am between rafters here? I am 21, my boyfriend of 5 years is 25, our daughter just turned 1 October 29th 2015. We are currently staying with my parents to save money to move into a place but we live in portland, OR where rent...
    Nikko11 Nikko11 18-21, F Dec 11, 2015

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    I'm coming to terms with the fact

    that I'm a lesbian (or at least mostly lesbian, I'm not a big believer in firm lines). My ex has been there for me on this journey and has supported me in understanding myself & coming out. I accept my sexuality but the thing that I can't accept is that I can't be with him...
    Whomyheartis Whomyheartis 26-30, F 4 Responses Jul 8, 2015

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    I'm 28 years old, been married

    for 3 years, no children. My marriage seems to have hit the perfect storm of all issues ever, and I'm stuck in the eye of the hurricane. I have known, at least consciously, for a couple of years that I am attracted to women. It scared me to face these feelings, and for the...
    twr86 twr86 26-30, F 4 Responses Dec 15, 2014

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    From the husband's perspective.

    My ex preferred women. The hardest thing to do in my life was to let her go so she could be happy. I didn't think it was possible to love someone as much as I loved her.
    luv2fish luv2fish 61-65, M 2 Responses Jan 24

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    Im looking for Rhea. I met you here on EP a few

    years ago. I would give anything to hear from you, just to say hi and catch up. I wonder about you from time to time, wonder if you're happy and how things are going. Please, if you see this, message me. It's all water under the bridge.
    thesupernurse thesupernurse 26-30, F Jun 18, 2015

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    Big news. I told him last night.

    My life is forever changed. He knows about my girlfriend. He knows everything. He hasn't spoken to me since. He said he was always afraid something like this would happen. When we met I told him I was a lesbian. Then ended up marrying him. That was 15 years ago this month.
    DreamCat01 DreamCat01 36-40, F 2 Responses Jun 6, 2015

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    No Longer Qualify

    Been awhile!!! So I have moved out and moved on!!! I am getting a divorce from the man, I have come out to 90 percent of my family and the world did not end!! They were not surprised-go figure They love me for me and are not judging!!! I am dating a wonderful girl. Life is great...
    Januarywine Januarywine 51-55, F 7 Responses May 12, 2013

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    Being Lesbian Is Not Without Reality

    When I read the stories posted here I right away can relate because I lived that lie and longed to be free to be me for many years. I did find the courage to break away and do the right thing. I read everyone's post about their dreams of being able to be totally passionate and...
    giayesim12 giayesim12 46-50, F 14 Responses Sep 15, 2013

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    I Am Married But Secretly Am Attracted To Women

    I am 41 and have been married for almost 17 years.  We have two children, ages 7 and 11.  I guess I have always known I was attracted to girls and knew something was different at a young age.  I never dated in high school but had a very close relationship with my...
    wendysgirl wendysgirl 36-40, F 29 Responses Mar 23, 2010

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    I got moved out of my house last Thursday.

    My girlfriend and I have been busting our ***** all week getting set up for the husband's "grand inspection" when he brought the kids over. I'm ok. We're ok. He's not ok. But I can't expect him to be.
    DreamCat01 DreamCat01 36-40, F Jun 24, 2015

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    Well...not much longer!

    Appointment with the divorce attorney Wednesday! This is going to get harder before it gets better.
    DreamCat01 DreamCat01 36-40, F 6 Responses Jun 12, 2015

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    I'm happily married and love my husband

    but sometimes I keep wondering what it be like to experience things with a woman
    TexasKindaGal TexasKindaGal 26-30, F 2 Responses Jan 20, 2014

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