I Am a Lesbian Married to a Man

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 2,086 People

    The train has left the station.

    I came out to my husband of 26 years on Monday. It was a very heartfelt experience. He handled the news with understanding and compassion. He's amazing and I've been mostly proud of how he's dealing with it. It helps that he has some close, supportive friends. I know this...
    confusedboomer confusedboomer
    51-55, F
    4 Responses Dec 19, 2014

    Today was a lot harder

    than I thought it would be! Hard to spend a whole day with the in laws.
    Louise345 Louise345
    31-35, F
    1 Response Dec 25, 2015

    From the husband's perspective.

    My ex preferred women. The hardest thing to do in my life was to let her go so she could be happy. I didn't think it was possible to love someone as much as I loved her.
    luv2fish luv2fish
    61-65, M
    2 Responses Jan 24

    Being Lesbian Is Not Without Reality

    When I read the stories posted here I right away can relate because I lived that lie and longed to be free to be me for many years. I did find the courage to break away and do the right thing. I read everyone's post about their dreams of being able to be totally passionate and...
    giayesim12 giayesim12
    46-50, F
    15 Responses Sep 15, 2013

    I never want my husband much any more.

    He literally has to beg me for sex. Yes it's sad, I don't need any bashing. I just feel so more attracted and attached to my girl.. I always want and need her. It's hard to keep telling my husband I'm not leaving him for her. I don't want to leave at all, but something has to...
    LittleTarheel14 LittleTarheel14
    22-25, F
    4 Responses Oct 29, 2014

    I'm happily married and love my husband

    but sometimes I keep wondering what it be like to experience things with a woman
    TexasKindaGal TexasKindaGal
    26-30, F
    3 Responses Jan 20, 2014

    I was in denial about being a lesbian.

    I married my best friend, I think a lot of the reason, I was subconsciously trying to find a "normal family." 2 months after getting married, all my "I think I'm a lesbian" feelings resurfaced. at first I chalked it up to parental problems and family disfunction, then I tried to...
    michellebella46 michellebella46
    26-30, F
    4 Responses Jul 24, 2015

    I'm not sure what to do.

    My husband is my life, my best friend, my soul mate, my intellectual match, my everything. I enjoy sex with him but I usually imagine being with a woman and am so rarely present. I hate looking at all men below the waist. My husband knows I am bisexual and we sometimes joke...
    OrchidQueen OrchidQueen
    26-30, F
    7 Responses Dec 10, 2013

    And I Just Came Out To My Husband..

    and to two of my close friends. At first, I thought it was a matter of being bi, and my hubby was ok with me meeting and dating other women. This was a few months ago. I've been dating a girl for almost two of those months now, and have been completely/bluntly honest with her...
    bluemajolica bluemajolica
    36-40, F
    10 Responses Nov 22, 2013

    It's Torture

    I long to be swept away madly in love with a woman so I can have the guts the man that's by my side. I do not know what to do anymore. This struggle is real and I do not know what stops me. Am I scared? Do I just care about him and his feelings more then I do my own? Am I scared...
    BlueCurrent BlueCurrent
    31-35, F
    3 Responses Nov 11, 2013

    I Am A Married To A Man Butwant To Be With Woman.

    I am a 39 women who wants to leave my husband. I am afraid to leave baced on the fear. I am depressed & feeling alone. I don't hve sex or injoy it with him. I don't like when he forces himself on me when I say no. I just want to run away from my marriage . Pls someone help me.
    1331jean 1331jean
    36-40, F
    53 Responses Aug 19, 2012

    Hi, hope you are all well

    and healthy. I am 30 years old Indian Gay men & well settled Software employee and currently living in Hyderabad,India. I am single, not in a relation with any gay. Due to family and society pressure. I am looking for a decent educated understanding lesbian for MOC, Please...
    pranaireddy pranaireddy
    26-30, M
    Jan 21

    If you're married and want to stay

    that way but would also like to have a lesbian relationship message me. I live near TAMPA FL.
    SeaSandSun SeaSandSun
    41-45, F
    1 Response Feb 16

    I live near Tampa, FL,

    am married but have strong lesbian desires that are getting stronger the older I get. I had a lesbian relationship when I was younger. If you live in the area and are also married with the same feelings, message me. I would love to talk.
    SeaSandSun SeaSandSun
    41-45, F
    Feb 12
    singh2709 singh2709
    26-30, M
    2 Responses Aug 21, 2015

    Confused Lesbian

    I am married to a very good man.  I too have always considered myself a good person.  I have 2 sons whom I love with all my heart.  I love my husband, but the attraction is just not there.  I dont think that it is not there for just him but for any man. ...
    DiBa DiBa
    46-50
    68 Responses Nov 2, 2008

    I have never been fully "out".

    My husband knew on our first date that I was bi. That's how I labeled myself because the truth was so much more complicated. Before my husband, I generally dated women. It wasn't until I was a senior in high school, that I actually had interest in a man. And I firmly...
    TryAnStopMe TryAnStopMe
    26-30, F
    3 Responses Jul 21, 2014

    I Am Bisexual And Married To A Great Man.

    I'm a bisexual and happily married to a wonderful an understanding man, but a true and strong connection with a woman is missing from my life and it makes me feel like something is missing - not from us, but from me. I wonder if there are other married women staring out a window...
    onegirltwohearts onegirltwohearts
    26-30, F
    8 Responses Nov 10, 2013

    I came out to my husband three days ago,

    and I have never felt so relieved, happy, sad, excited, and terrified at the same time. I literally just googled "lesbians married to men" and found EP - I'd never heard of it before. I've read a few books on this subject over the past 18 months while I've been discovering my...
    txv3 txv3
    31-35, F
    4 Responses May 15, 2014

    Any book recommendations

    for women who are struggling to figure out what to do!
    Louise345 Louise345
    31-35, F
    2 Responses Dec 20, 2015

    The Struggle

    What am I doing, what have I done? Who am I becoming, what have I become? Betrayer of hearts, destroyer of lives Sometimes I feel I am someone to despise. Look at what you're doing! Oh my God! Who are you kidding! What a fascade! Unsettled, anxious, lost and alone Soul hollow...
    mistletoe41 mistletoe41
    41-45, F
    8 Responses Sep 28, 2013

    I'M Not Into That...

    So awhile back I told my husband about my feelings, he always thought I was just Bi. I wanted to force myself to be Bi because, like many of you I was raised with the expectations of the husband kids and white picket fence. It just seemed like the only option. But I've learned...
    kinkyrainbow kinkyrainbow
    31-35, F
    8 Responses Nov 9, 2013

    Actually, I'm not a lesbian married to a man.

    Not anymore. But I wanted to share my story in this group so I can possibly give someone somewhere hope. Things can get better!!! I married my best guy friend in 2009. We had dated for 2 years, and then were engaged for a year. 2 years after we married, we bought a house...
    thesupernurse thesupernurse
    26-30, F
    5 Responses Jun 27, 2014

    I am a genuine, educated,

    athletic, handsome, physically fit DISCREET gay man looking for a discreet lesbian to enjoy life with. I am looking to experience all the little things in life with someone special, a best friend, a companion, my partner in crime. I enjoy the beach, dining out, health and...
    joesmithnyc joesmithnyc
    41-45, M
    Jan 30

    I feel stuck. I feel like I am missing

    something. I walk through the door of my house, and when I look around it feels temporary. It is a rough situation but I guess it is what I have to do for right now. Sitting here watching Christmas love stories and it just makes me sick....(suppose to be funny) Although I find...
    Nikko11 Nikko11
    18-21, F
    Dec 21, 2015

    I Am Married But Secretly Am Attracted To Women

    I am 41 and have been married for almost 17 years.  We have two children, ages 7 and 11.  I guess I have always known I was attracted to girls and knew something was different at a young age.  I never dated in high school but had a very close relationship with my...
    wendysgirl wendysgirl
    36-40, F
    31 Responses Mar 23, 2010

    This week I came out to my Mother.

    It was the most terrifying thing I have ever done. I was prepared for her to tell me she didn't approve and not want anything to do with me ever again. My Mom amazed me, wrapped her arms around me giving me a tight hug and not letting go. She said she could never hate me and...
    WPJC9 WPJC9
    41-45, F
    2 Responses Apr 15

    I don't know what to tell all of you to make

    this easier. I have been out to my husband for 2 yrs. Prior to that at our meeting 15 yrs. ago, he thought I was bi. And I've been Out to my kids 2 months. I have known I was a lesbian since I was a kid. Here comes the worn out story of how I pushed it all down my entire life...
    BostonAccent BostonAccent
    51-55, F
    4 Responses Nov 14, 2014

    I Am a Lesbian Married to a Straight Man

    Where do I begin? Well, I will just start from where I think I had my first inclination. When I was about 11 years old, I felt an attraction to girls when most of my friends were feeling an attraction to boys...you know 11 year old girls, all about the "boy bands"...
    sarahsinwithme sarahsinwithme
    22-25, F
    83 Responses Aug 30, 2008

    I broke my husband's heart tonight.

    He knew that I wasn't happy and that I was thinking of leaving, but I don't think that he wanted to admit there was a problem and that I would ever follow through. We will have been married for 16 years this June, but I can't keep going like this. I just can't continue to...
    mel1229 mel1229
    36-40, F
    2 Responses Mar 13

    I live in Spring Hill Florida.

    Been married to a great guy for a long time but can't suppress my lesbian feelings any more. I can't talk to him cause I don't want to hurt him. Found this site googling. Amazing how many women like me there are. Wish I could find one close. I soooo want a girlfriend! If you...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    4 Responses Mar 4

    After reading some of these stories,

    mine just doesn't seem so bad. Why do I feel like I am between rafters here? I am 21, my boyfriend of 5 years is 25, our daughter just turned 1 October 29th 2015. We are currently staying with my parents to save money to move into a place but we live in portland, OR where rent...
    Nikko11 Nikko11
    18-21, F
    1 Response Dec 11, 2015

    I very recently married my best friend.

    .. we have been close for years.. I told him I was bi because I thought I was... I don't enjoy sex with a man.. not at all.. I pretend I do but.. I really dont. Every time we have sex I imagine myself with a woman just to make it through.. then I have to go.. take care of myself...
    Jadestone22 Jadestone22
    18-21, F
    5 Responses Aug 11, 2015

    I'm coming to terms with the fact

    that I'm a lesbian (or at least mostly lesbian, I'm not a big believer in firm lines). My ex has been there for me on this journey and has supported me in understanding myself & coming out. I accept my sexuality but the thing that I can't accept is that I can't be with him...
    Whomyheartis Whomyheartis
    26-30, F
    3 Responses Jul 8, 2015

    How Long Can I Lie To Everyone Around Me?

    I was quite the tomboy growing up. Most of my friends were boys because girls were too girly. I couldn't understand why they would want to wear dresses or have done up hair and why they would pretend to run at recess when the boys chased them. I didn't ever think that I was gay...
    LiltingNinny LiltingNinny
    36-40, F
    12 Responses Dec 1, 2011

    I love girls only. I wanna chat with them.

    .. I wanna feel talk with them... I wanna feel them by words... I wanna love them. No men plz.
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Mar 25

    I think I'm in the right place;

    so right that I'm probably about to write the same thing as most in this group. I have been married to a wonderful man for 10 years and we have 3 beautiful daughters. My husband has always been aware that I am (at least) bisexual, and that I have been with a couple of girls...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    9 Responses Dec 21, 2013

    Hello everyone I am so happy to have found this

    site, as I'm facing a difficult time in my life and the problem has come to a head. Long story short, I am a lesbian. However, I met a man when I was 23 and he was wonderful. We remained together for 2 years. We then broke up and I've had two significant relationships with women...
    Bacon33 Bacon33
    36-40, F
    5 Responses Dec 28, 2015

    I'm 39 years old and have been married

    for 15 years. We have two children, 10 and 12. The problem is that I am sure that I am a lesbian. We have a good marriage and he is a wonderful man and father, but as time has gone on, I have begun to have deeper and deeper feelings for women. I think that I've known that I was...
    mel1229 mel1229
    36-40, F
    8 Responses Jun 22, 2015

    i am basically looking

    for 18-28yrs old lesbian/asexual/bisexual/straight girl for short term moc and there are other terms too.things will be planned out properly and there will be confidentiality.i have no problem with your orientation,thinking and background.if you are interested,tell me about...
    imsearching4ud imsearching4ud
    26-30, M
    Dec 5, 2015

    Not a lesbian, bisexual.

    Pansexual, maybe. And I am happy with him, I love him to bits and he is so good to me. But Isnt there always a but There is this girl who has popped back up, and she makes my stomach do cartwheels But I wouldn't touch her
    rainbowgirlx rainbowgirlx
    22-25, F
    3 Responses Sep 11, 2015

    While doing a Google search

    for "lesbian married to men" I found this site. After doing some reading, I am so relieved to know that I am not alone. My feelings if guilt for not being who my husband wants me to be are overwhelming. My fear of what my future holds is even worse. Being married and having 2...
    Adders8 Adders8
    31-35, F
    3 Responses Jan 16

    Honestly, I don't expect the best of responses

    to this, but I needed to get it out. I need... help... My life hasn't been the best, but its been far from the worst. Like a lot of people, my sexuality wasn't a big thing for me growing up; I just didn't see relationships as something really important. Looking back now, I can...
    LostToReality LostToReality
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Aug 11, 2015

    Evangelical, Married But Know I Am Still Drawn To Women

    Hi Everyone, Im going to share my story, and I would love to connect with any of you who would like to (ny email etc) and make some new friends. I am 38 years old, currently living in Whyalla, South Australia. I am Mum to 4 kids, all 7 and under. I love them dearly. I love my...
    jelpick jelpick
    36-40, F
    15 Responses Dec 12, 2012

    Sometimes I think I can do this.

    .. be married to a man. I convince myself that I'm okay, maybe even straight. I wouldn't be good with a woman anyway. Years go by, and I hold it all in. Then I sit and cry over a woman I can't have, who has no idea that I feel more than friendship toward her.
    torilefay78 torilefay78
    36-40, F
    5 Responses Mar 17

    when I got married I realised

    that I prefer girls on my wedding night. men just make me puke.
    Elaine4les Elaine4les
    22-25, F
    Apr 19

    I was once a lesbian married to a man.

    I have been here and now I am on the other side. If you are wondering if your fears will come true, the answer is probably yes. I lost everyone. I lost custody of my son for a short while when I was unemployed and homeless after losing my job. My family disowned me. My friends...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Mar 18

    Im 26, Ive been with a man

    for 7 years, not even married for a full year yet and ive finally come to terms with the fact that im a lesbian. I came out to my parents at age 17 but it was the end of the world and i was basically pushed back into a closet because i so badly wanted to not disappoint. I wish i...
    azulu azulu
    26-30, F
    6 Responses Feb 25, 2014

    I am happily married

    but not so happy sexually. I've always had a sexual attraction for women and have had a couple of encounters before I got married, i.e. some time ago. But as time passes I find myself yearning more and more for another woman's touch. I can't tell my husband how I feel - I don...
    ShyNymphoLesbian ShyNymphoLesbian
    41-45, F
    3 Responses Mar 7
    ShyNymphoLesbian ShyNymphoLesbian
    41-45, F
    1 Response Mar 8

    I've been married for almost ten years to a man.

    Two kids. It's become impossible to pretend to enjoy straight sex anymore. The older I get, the harder it is. I'm pretty much disgusted by it. It's not fair to him, but I also don't want to tear our family apart. I don't mind sacrificing my own sexual happiness for my kids, but...
    blondedyke blondedyke
    36-40, F
    4 Responses Apr 10, 2015

    What Type of Lesbian Are You?

    This group seems to be for women who are confused about their sexuality.  My guess is you don't want to claim the title of bisexual even though you fell in love and married a man.  So what type of lesbian does that make you?  Here are a few categories you may fall...
    ichooselife ichooselife
    36-40, F
    63 Responses May 27, 2009

    My One Time And My Fantasy

    I grew up in a very conservative and closed minded Christian home. Through my teenage years and as an adult I went through a lot of pain trying to get rid of the negative and frankly rather disgusting conditioning that I underwent regarding sexuality. I have gone through...
    ET1234 ET1234
    26-30, F
    82 Responses Mar 31, 2012

    I came out to myself

    and my husband a year ago after 14 years of being together. Looking back, I always knew I was attracted to women, but I always denied my attraction or belittled it. I was so afraid of what my family would think. My fear of the world and my father's disapproval made me hate my...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    2 Responses Dec 6, 2015

    Here goes nothing...I am 31 married with 2

    adopted children. I have an amazing husband and I love him to death. I guess now looking back on my life, I have always been attracted to women. I have always pushed these emotions and feelings away. I've always done what most families want a good girl to do. marry the boy next...
    jaggedlittlepill16 jaggedlittlepill16
    31-35, F
    7 Responses Dec 2, 2015

    I'm just like the tree.

    ....strong-looking but slowly dying.
    Kholoza Kholoza
    31-35, F
    3 Responses Aug 11, 2015

    I'm 28 years old, been married

    for 3 years, no children. My marriage seems to have hit the perfect storm of all issues ever, and I'm stuck in the eye of the hurricane. I have known, at least consciously, for a couple of years that I am attracted to women. It scared me to face these feelings, and for the...
    twr86 twr86
    26-30, F
    5 Responses Dec 15, 2014

    I dated and had relationships with women

    for about 10 years before entering at ten-year committed relationship with a man. We live together now, but are in the process of separation. He knew all the while of my past and I was very open with him about my desires for women before we entered a relationship and during the...
    itspirit itspirit
    36-40, F
    5 Responses Oct 21, 2014

    My husband and I finally had the talk.

    He says he just wants me to be happy and we will always be close, but I am terrified I am going to lose him from my life. We have decided to try a separation to see what works for us. I am so scared about the future, but I know I cannot go back to living lie.
    Onlyifyoucanguess Onlyifyoucanguess
    31-35, F
    4 Responses Feb 19, 2014

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