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I Am a Lesbian Married to a Man

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,992 People

    Big news. I told him last night.

    My life is forever changed. He knows about my girlfriend. He knows everything. He hasn't spoken to me since. He said he was always afraid something like this would happen. When we met I told him I was a lesbian. Then ended up marrying him. That was 15 years ago this month.
    DreamCat01 DreamCat01 36-40, F 2 Responses Jun 6

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    I have a wonderful husband of 9 yrs

    who is kind, loves me, is great in bed (not regular enough for me) etc but I keep feeling like I need to experience a woman, I have kissed women in the past before we got together but never had the chance to go all the way. I told my husband how I feel and he said it would be...
    TrickyRuby TrickyRuby 36-40, F 3 Responses Jun 18

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    My husband and I finally had the talk.

    He says he just wants me to be happy and we will always be close, but I am terrified I am going to lose him from my life. We have decided to try a separation to see what works for us. I am so scared about the future, but I know I cannot go back to living lie.
    Onlyifyoucanguess Onlyifyoucanguess 26-30, F 4 Responses Feb 19, 2014

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    I found this site in 2013 pondering the

    question of coming out to my husband and 3 daughters. Now I can't believe I was even pondering it! I wish I had been a stronger person in 08 and not suffered a breakdown due to undiagnosed bipolar. I came out to my husband and kids a 1 1/2 ago. Just before I did the women I was...
    cronin43 cronin43 51-55, F 4 Responses Jan 15

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    Life's so complicated.

    I love him, I love her...
    DreamCat01 DreamCat01 36-40, F 1 Response May 26

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    DreamCat01 DreamCat01 36-40, F 3 Responses May 17

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    Evangelical, Married But Know I Am Still Drawn To Women

    Hi Everyone, Im going to share my story, and I would love to connect with any of you who would like to (ny email etc) and make some new friends. I am 38 years old, currently living in Whyalla, South Australia. I am Mum to 4 kids, all 7 and under. I love them dearly. I love my...
    jelpick jelpick 36-40, F 15 Responses Dec 12, 2012

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    I am 32 and educated.

    Married for eight years with a son. I am not afraid to speak my mind and I always tried to follow my heart. But following ones heart can be tricky. I know I would tremendously hurt my husband if we divorced and I know that if I continue to live life this way (finding women...
    deleted deleted 26-30 6 Responses Feb 17, 2014

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    I Am Bisexual And Married To A Great Man.

    I'm a bisexual and happily married to a wonderful an understanding man, but a true and strong connection with a woman is missing from my life and it makes me feel like something is missing - not from us, but from me. I wonder if there are other married women staring out a window...
    onegirltwohearts onegirltwohearts 26-30, F 8 Responses Nov 10, 2013

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    Well...not much longer!

    Appointment with the divorce attorney Wednesday! This is going to get harder before it gets better.
    DreamCat01 DreamCat01 36-40, F 5 Responses Jun 12

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    I Am a Lesbian Married to a Straight Man

    Where do I begin? Well, I will just start from where I think I had my first inclination. When I was about 11 years old, I felt an attraction to girls when most of my friends were feeling an attraction to boys...you know 11 year old girls, all about the "boy bands"...
    sarahsinwithme sarahsinwithme 22-25, F 81 Responses Aug 30, 2008

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    Ok Here Goes......

    So I am new here and figured I should share my story. I am 36 and have been married for 13 years. I have a 16 year old daughter. I have only came out my husband and he replied that I must be bisexual since I have only been with men. That is not the case....men do not turn me on...
    sadgirl36 sadgirl36 36-40, F 14 Responses Nov 4, 2012

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    I'm happily married and love my husband

    but sometimes I keep wondering what it be like to experience things with a woman
    TexasKindaGal TexasKindaGal 26-30, F 3 Responses Jan 20, 2014

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    I'm 39 years old and have been married

    for 15 years. We have two children, 10 and 12. The problem is that I am sure that I am a lesbian. We have a good marriage and he is a wonderful man and father, but as time has gone on, I have begun to have deeper and deeper feelings for women. I think that I've known that I was...
    mel1229 mel1229 36-40, F 7 Responses Jun 22

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    Actually, I'm not a lesbian married to a man.

    Not anymore. But I wanted to share my story in this group so I can possibly give someone somewhere hope. Things can get better!!! I married my best guy friend in 2009. We had dated for 2 years, and then were engaged for a year. 2 years after we married, we bought a house...
    thesupernurse thesupernurse 26-30, F 5 Responses Jun 27, 2014

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    The Struggle

    What am I doing, what have I done? Who am I becoming, what have I become? Betrayer of hearts, destroyer of lives Sometimes I feel I am someone to despise. Look at what you're doing! Oh my God! Who are you kidding! What a fascade! Unsettled, anxious, lost and alone Soul hollow...
    mistletoe41 mistletoe41 41-45, F 8 Responses Sep 28, 2013

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    Interesting evening just hanging out with my

    husband, my girlfriend and her wife. Had a little too much to drink. Hope I didn't blow the secret.
    DreamCat01 DreamCat01 36-40, F 2 Responses May 31

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    I'm not sure what to do.

    My husband is my life, my best friend, my soul mate, my intellectual match, my everything. I enjoy sex with him but I usually imagine being with a woman and am so rarely present. I hate looking at all men below the waist. My husband knows I am bisexual and we sometimes joke...
    OrchidQueen OrchidQueen 26-30, F 7 Responses Dec 10, 2013

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    My One Time And My Fantasy

    I grew up in a very conservative and closed minded Christian home. Through my teenage years and as an adult I went through a lot of pain trying to get rid of the negative and frankly rather disgusting conditioning that I underwent regarding sexuality. I have gone through...
    ET1234 ET1234 26-30, F 82 Responses Mar 31, 2012

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    It's Torture

    I long to be swept away madly in love with a woman so I can have the guts the man that's by my side. I do not know what to do anymore. This struggle is real and I do not know what stops me. Am I scared? Do I just care about him and his feelings more then I do my own? Am I scared...
    BlueCurrent BlueCurrent 26-30, F 3 Responses Nov 11, 2013

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    I have two children. I love my husband

    but do not feel the intense attraction I do to women. My husband knows the truth. We have decided to remain married for the sake of the children. It is a hard life. It is a tough place to be. To wake up beside someone who does not make my heart beat faster or take my breath...
    deleted deleted 26-30 5 Responses Dec 28, 2013

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    What Type of Lesbian Are You?

    This group seems to be for women who are confused about their sexuality.  My guess is you don't want to claim the title of bisexual even though you fell in love and married a man.  So what type of lesbian does that make you?  Here are a few categories you may fall...
    ichooselife ichooselife 36-40, F 62 Responses May 27, 2009

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    I'M Not Into That...

    So awhile back I told my husband about my feelings, he always thought I was just Bi. I wanted to force myself to be Bi because, like many of you I was raised with the expectations of the husband kids and white picket fence. It just seemed like the only option. But I've learned...
    kinkyrainbow kinkyrainbow 31-35, F 7 Responses Nov 9, 2013

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    So, I saw my post from a week ago

    and see how much a person can change in that time. Last week I wasn't ready at all to tell my husband about my lesbian affair. This week I'm on the brink. I can't concentrate, I want to cry, I can't look at him. He asks what's wrong and I lie. Mother's Day was so hard. I have so...
    DreamCat01 DreamCat01 36-40, F 2 Responses May 11

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    i am 51 a/b 4 yrs ago i came out to my husband.

    . I had been with a couple of girls b/f him. I told him i wanted to be with a woman again. He had always wondered what it would be like to be with a guy. So we started looking for a couple that we could do same sex swap with ( rule was same sex partner or each other ) Well...
    ReneaH ReneaH 51-55, F 1 Response Apr 28

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    Sometimes when I watch the show Friends,

    it gets me so depressed. The jokes about the character Chandler's father being gay, are anything but funny to me. I stayed with my family and I love them more than life; they are the only thing I live for. I pray to die everyday, I only keep from ending my life for the thought...
    broadwayplease broadwayplease 46-50, F Mar 21

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    And I Just Came Out To My Husband..

    and to two of my close friends. At first, I thought it was a matter of being bi, and my hubby was ok with me meeting and dating other women. This was a few months ago. I've been dating a girl for almost two of those months now, and have been completely/bluntly honest with her...
    bluemajolica bluemajolica 31-35, F 10 Responses Nov 22, 2013

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    I Love My Husband, But I Wish I Was With A Woman

    I have been married for over 3 years to a guy that I would call a best friend that I love and care about so much. The main thing that I feel like I'm missing out on is a sexual attraction. We rarely have sex and when we actually do have sex, I find that I can only ****** if I'm...
    mjlbc mjlbc 26-30, F 5 Responses Sep 7, 2013

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    Hello, I am 27 years old closet BI guy

    and looking to get married with a girl. I have a masters degree and I am a working professional living in Midwest USA. I am looking for a life partner to grow old with as best of friends. I would prefer someone who is career oriented and believe in her self. Though chances are...
    indianmaverick indianmaverick 26-30, M Jan 14

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    I'll be 40 this year

    and it will be mine and my husband's 15th anniversary. I do love him and have never cheated- until now. We have two kids, 8 and 5. I had been with women and men before we met. Over the years I've desired more and more to be with a woman. Having sex with my husband is only...
    DreamCat01 DreamCat01 36-40, F 3 Responses May 3

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    I never want my husband much any more.

    He literally has to beg me for sex. Yes it's sad, I don't need any bashing. I just feel so more attracted and attached to my girl.. I always want and need her. It's hard to keep telling my husband I'm not leaving him for her. I don't want to leave at all, but something has to...
    LittleTarheel14 LittleTarheel14 22-25, F 4 Responses Oct 29, 2014

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    I got moved out of my house last Thursday.

    My girlfriend and I have been busting our ***** all week getting set up for the husband's "grand inspection" when he brought the kids over. I'm ok. We're ok. He's not ok. But I can't expect him to be.
    DreamCat01 DreamCat01 36-40, F 6 days ago

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    I just spent yet another day with the love of

    my life...who's married. I am a striaght (so I thought) single woman who has fallen in love with a married woman. She,too,has fell ln love with me. I never imagined I would be in a situation like this. Be with someone's spouse? Never! Now look at me. She has been unhappy for a...
    ARarePiece ARarePiece 31-35, F 2 Responses May 16

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    I've been married for almost ten years to a man.

    Two kids. It's become impossible to pretend to enjoy straight sex anymore. The older I get, the harder it is. I'm pretty much disgusted by it. It's not fair to him, but I also don't want to tear our family apart. I don't mind sacrificing my own sexual happiness for my kids, but...
    blondedyke blondedyke 36-40, F 6 Responses Apr 10

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    I don't know what to tell all of you to make

    this easier. I have been out to my husband for 2 yrs. Prior to that at our meeting 15 yrs. ago, he thought I was bi. And I've been Out to my kids 2 months. I have known I was a lesbian since I was a kid. Here comes the worn out story of how I pushed it all down my entire life...
    BostonAccent BostonAccent 51-55, F 4 Responses Nov 14, 2014

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    Im looking for Rhea. I met you here on EP a few

    years ago. I would give anything to hear from you, just to say hi and catch up. I wonder about you from time to time, wonder if you're happy and how things are going. Please, if you see this, message me. It's all water under the bridge.
    thesupernurse thesupernurse 26-30, F Jun 18

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    The train has left the station.

    I came out to my husband of 26 years on Monday. It was a very heartfelt experience. He handled the news with understanding and compassion. He's amazing and I've been mostly proud of how he's dealing with it. It helps that he has some close, supportive friends. I know this...
    confusedboomer confusedboomer 51-55, F 3 Responses Dec 19, 2014

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    Being Lesbian Is Not Without Reality

    When I read the stories posted here I right away can relate because I lived that lie and longed to be free to be me for many years. I did find the courage to break away and do the right thing. I read everyone's post about their dreams of being able to be totally passionate and...
    giayesim12 giayesim12 46-50, F 10 Responses Sep 15, 2013

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    How Long Can I Lie To Everyone Around Me?

    I was quite the tomboy growing up. Most of my friends were boys because girls were too girly. I couldn't understand why they would want to wear dresses or have done up hair and why they would pretend to run at recess when the boys chased them. I didn't ever think that I was gay...
    LiltingNinny LiltingNinny 36-40, F 12 Responses Dec 1, 2011

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    I Am Married But Secretly Am Attracted To Women

    I am 41 and have been married for almost 17 years.  We have two children, ages 7 and 11.  I guess I have always known I was attracted to girls and knew something was different at a young age.  I never dated in high school but had a very close relationship with my...
    wendysgirl wendysgirl 36-40, F 24 Responses Mar 23, 2010

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    I came out to my husband three days ago,

    and I have never felt so relieved, happy, sad, excited, and terrified at the same time. I literally just googled "lesbians married to men" and found EP - I'd never heard of it before. I've read a few books on this subject over the past 18 months while I've been discovering my...
    txv3 txv3 26-30, F 6 Responses May 15, 2014

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    I have never been fully "out".

    My husband knew on our first date that I was bi. That's how I labeled myself because the truth was so much more complicated. Before my husband, I generally dated women. It wasn't until I was a senior in high school, that I actually had interest in a man. And I firmly...
    TryAnStopMe TryAnStopMe 26-30, F 4 Responses Jul 21, 2014

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    I'm 28 years old, been married

    for 3 years, no children. My marriage seems to have hit the perfect storm of all issues ever, and I'm stuck in the eye of the hurricane. I have known, at least consciously, for a couple of years that I am attracted to women. It scared me to face these feelings, and for the...
    twr86 twr86 26-30, F 4 Responses Dec 15, 2014

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    I finally told her..because I didn't want to be

    the one to be told. Last night I mustered up the strength to tell her that I couldn't do this anymore. It's not fair to me or her husband ,to be honest. Without me in her life maybe she will face her issues and her mind will be clear enough to see what she really wants. Either...
    ARarePiece ARarePiece 31-35, F May 23

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    Confused Lesbian

    I am married to a very good man.  I too have always considered myself a good person.  I have 2 sons whom I love with all my heart.  I love my husband, but the attraction is just not there.  I dont think that it is not there for just him but for any man. ...
    DiBa DiBa 46-50 68 Responses Nov 2, 2008

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    I Am A Married To A Man Butwant To Be With Woman.

    I am a 39 women who wants to leave my husband. I am afraid to leave baced on the fear. I am depressed & feeling alone. I don't hve sex or injoy it with him. I don't like when he forces himself on me when I say no. I just want to run away from my marriage . Pls someone help me.
    1331jean 1331jean 36-40, F 56 Responses Aug 19, 2012

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