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I Am a Lesbian Married to a Man

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,970 People

    The train has left the station.

    I came out to my husband of 26 years on Monday. It was a very heartfelt experience. He handled the news with understanding and compassion. He's amazing and I've been mostly proud of how he's dealing with it. It helps that he has some close, supportive friends. I know this...
    confusedboomer confusedboomer 51-55, F 3 Responses Dec 19, 2014

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    I Am A Married To A Man Butwant To Be With Woman.

    I am a 39 women who wants to leave my husband. I am afraid to leave baced on the fear. I am depressed & feeling alone. I don't hve sex or injoy it with him. I don't like when he forces himself on me when I say no. I just want to run away from my marriage . Pls someone help me.
    1331jean 1331jean 36-40, F 56 Responses Aug 19, 2012

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    i am 51 a/b 4 yrs ago i came out to my husband.

    . I had been with a couple of girls b/f him. I told him i wanted to be with a woman again. He had always wondered what it would be like to be with a guy. So we started looking for a couple that we could do same sex swap with ( rule was same sex partner or each other ) Well...
    ReneaH ReneaH 51-55, F 1 Response Apr 28

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    I never want my husband much any more.

    He literally has to beg me for sex. Yes it's sad, I don't need any bashing. I just feel so more attracted and attached to my girl.. I always want and need her. It's hard to keep telling my husband I'm not leaving him for her. I don't want to leave at all, but something has to...
    LittleTarheel14 LittleTarheel14 22-25, F 4 Responses Oct 29, 2014

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    Hello, I am 27 years old closet BI guy

    and looking to get married with a girl. I have a masters degree and I am a working professional living in Midwest USA. I am looking for a life partner to grow old with as best of friends. I would prefer someone who is career oriented and believe in her self. Though chances are...
    indianmaverick indianmaverick 26-30, M Jan 14

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    I have been in 2 long term relationships one at

    13 for 8 years 3 kids, the other for 13 years 2 kids on going trying to separate form him. He is being very difficult. He doesn't want the relationship to end. I don't get along with him. I have dreams of being with a woman. I haven't told him this. We just do not get along, I...
    jenifer95341 jenifer95341 36-40, F 1 Response Sep 9, 2014

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    I am 32 and educated.

    Married for eight years with a son. I am not afraid to speak my mind and I always tried to follow my heart. But following ones heart can be tricky. I know I would tremendously hurt my husband if we divorced and I know that if I continue to live life this way (finding women...
    deleted deleted 26-30 6 Responses Feb 17, 2014

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    And I Just Came Out To My Husband..

    and to two of my close friends. At first, I thought it was a matter of being bi, and my hubby was ok with me meeting and dating other women. This was a few months ago. I've been dating a girl for almost two of those months now, and have been completely/bluntly honest with her...
    bluemajolica bluemajolica 31-35, F 10 Responses Nov 22, 2013

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    I Love My Husband, But I Wish I Was With A Woman

    I have been married for over 3 years to a guy that I would call a best friend that I love and care about so much. The main thing that I feel like I'm missing out on is a sexual attraction. We rarely have sex and when we actually do have sex, I find that I can only ****** if I'm...
    mjlbc mjlbc 26-30, F 5 Responses Sep 7, 2013

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    I came out to my husband three days ago,

    and I have never felt so relieved, happy, sad, excited, and terrified at the same time. I literally just googled "lesbians married to men" and found EP - I'd never heard of it before. I've read a few books on this subject over the past 18 months while I've been discovering my...
    txv3 txv3 26-30, F 6 Responses May 15, 2014

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    The Struggle

    What am I doing, what have I done? Who am I becoming, what have I become? Betrayer of hearts, destroyer of lives Sometimes I feel I am someone to despise. Look at what you're doing! Oh my God! Who are you kidding! What a fascade! Unsettled, anxious, lost and alone Soul hollow...
    mistletoe41 mistletoe41 41-45, F 8 Responses Sep 28, 2013

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    I have never been fully "out".

    My husband knew on our first date that I was bi. That's how I labeled myself because the truth was so much more complicated. Before my husband, I generally dated women. It wasn't until I was a senior in high school, that I actually had interest in a man. And I firmly...
    TryAnStopMe TryAnStopMe 26-30, F 4 Responses Jul 21, 2014

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    I was raised a Jehovahs Witness.

    That proved be a hardship in my life when it came to accepting who i was as a person. From a very young age, I new I was gay. I used to get the other little girls to play "house" with me so I could pretend I was married to them. As I grew up, though, the shame of being...
    akg27 akg27 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 8, 2014

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    I have been married for almost 10 years

    and we have four young children. Last summer I fell in love with my good friend. She was/is in a committed heterosexual relationship and after telling her how I felt, our relationship has distanced. This also might have to do with her moving (we were neighbors). The...
    Basorexia Basorexia 31-35, F 5 Responses Apr 5

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    So, I saw my post from a week ago

    and see how much a person can change in that time. Last week I wasn't ready at all to tell my husband about my lesbian affair. This week I'm on the brink. I can't concentrate, I want to cry, I can't look at him. He asks what's wrong and I lie. Mother's Day was so hard. I have so...
    DreamCat01 DreamCat01 36-40, F 2 Responses May 11

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    I Am Bisexual And Married To A Great Man.

    I'm a bisexual and happily married to a wonderful an understanding man, but a true and strong connection with a woman is missing from my life and it makes me feel like something is missing - not from us, but from me. I wonder if there are other married women staring out a window...
    onegirltwohearts onegirltwohearts 26-30, F 8 Responses Nov 10, 2013

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    I think I'm in the right place;

    so right that I'm probably about to write the same thing as most in this group. I have been married to a wonderful man for 10 years and we have 3 beautiful daughters. My husband has always been aware that I am (at least) bisexual, and that I have been with a couple of girls...
    deleted deleted 26-30 8 Responses Dec 21, 2013

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    Actually, I'm not a lesbian married to a man.

    Not anymore. But I wanted to share my story in this group so I can possibly give someone somewhere hope. Things can get better!!! I married my best guy friend in 2009. We had dated for 2 years, and then were engaged for a year. 2 years after we married, we bought a house...
    thesupernurse thesupernurse 22-25, F 4 Responses Jun 27, 2014

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    How Long Can I Lie To Everyone Around Me?

    I was quite the tomboy growing up. Most of my friends were boys because girls were too girly. I couldn't understand why they would want to wear dresses or have done up hair and why they would pretend to run at recess when the boys chased them. I didn't ever think that I was gay...
    LiltingNinny LiltingNinny 36-40, F 12 Responses Dec 1, 2011

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    Sometimes when I watch the show Friends,

    it gets me so depressed. The jokes about the character Chandler's father being gay, are anything but funny to me. I stayed with my family and I love them more than life; they are the only thing I live for. I pray to die everyday, I only keep from ending my life for the thought...
    broadwayplease broadwayplease 46-50, F Mar 21

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    One month after coming out to my husband.

    .. We've told our daughter, close friends and family. Symbolically, we each stopped wearing our wedding rings. It's been weird for me to stay in the same house... I feel like I'm in limbo, between two worlds. I've had moments of sadness, grieving the end of my marriage...
    confusedboomer confusedboomer 51-55, F 5 Responses Jan 8

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    I never thought I could love a woman

    when I was young. But here I am, out of my thirties. Seperated from my husband. I got married a 27, I was a virgin until then. Sex was ok, I believed we had our whole lives to get better. He wanted more and more, l began to want less. He became frustrated and angry in the...
    sashabee sashabee 41-45, F 4 Responses Oct 8, 2014

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    I've been with my husband

    since I was 18. Together for 18 years, married for 10. Two wonderful kids, 4yrs & 11months. We are best friends. No passion (now I know why) but really the one person I've wanted to spend time with for all these years. About 5 months ago I realized I was gay. It was liberating...
    burnsygirl1 burnsygirl1 36-40, F 5 Responses Oct 22, 2014

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    I'm 28 years old, been married

    for 3 years, no children. My marriage seems to have hit the perfect storm of all issues ever, and I'm stuck in the eye of the hurricane. I have known, at least consciously, for a couple of years that I am attracted to women. It scared me to face these feelings, and for the...
    twr86 twr86 26-30, F 4 Responses Dec 15, 2014

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    I'm not sure what to do.

    My husband is my life, my best friend, my soul mate, my intellectual match, my everything. I enjoy sex with him but I usually imagine being with a woman and am so rarely present. I hate looking at all men below the waist. My husband knows I am bisexual and we sometimes joke...
    OrchidQueen OrchidQueen 26-30, F 7 Responses Dec 10, 2013

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    I'm happily married and love my husband

    but sometimes I keep wondering what it be like to experience things with a woman
    TexasKindaGal TexasKindaGal 26-30, F 3 Responses Jan 20, 2014

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    I have two children. I love my husband

    but do not feel the intense attraction I do to women. My husband knows the truth. We have decided to remain married for the sake of the children. It is a hard life. It is a tough place to be. To wake up beside someone who does not make my heart beat faster or take my breath...
    deleted deleted 26-30 5 Responses Dec 28, 2013

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    I am i have been married

    for 8 years but the older i get the more attraction i feel towards women
    suzieGurl suzieGurl 31-35, F 3 Responses Dec 21, 2014

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    I found this site in 2013 pondering the

    question of coming out to my husband and 3 daughters. Now I can't believe I was even pondering it! I wish I had been a stronger person in 08 and not suffered a breakdown due to undiagnosed bipolar. I came out to my husband and kids a 1 1/2 ago. Just before I did the women I was...
    cronin43 cronin43 51-55, F 4 Responses Jan 15

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    ugh... I haven't been on here in a long time.

    almost two years to be exact. in two years did I think I'd still be on here? no. I thought I'd be free. I thought for sure I'd be divorced and on the road to being with someone. I am not divorced. I have had an affair, yes, and fallen in love twice; but i am not free...
    8119CA 8119CA 31-35 5 Responses Dec 1, 2014

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    Confused Lesbian

    I am married to a very good man.  I too have always considered myself a good person.  I have 2 sons whom I love with all my heart.  I love my husband, but the attraction is just not there.  I dont think that it is not there for just him but for any man. ...
    DiBa DiBa 46-50 68 Responses Nov 2, 2008

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    I Am Married But Secretly Am Attracted To Women

    I am 41 and have been married for almost 17 years.  We have two children, ages 7 and 11.  I guess I have always known I was attracted to girls and knew something was different at a young age.  I never dated in high school but had a very close relationship with my...
    wendysgirl wendysgirl 36-40, F 24 Responses Mar 23, 2010

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    My One Time And My Fantasy

    I grew up in a very conservative and closed minded Christian home. Through my teenage years and as an adult I went through a lot of pain trying to get rid of the negative and frankly rather disgusting conditioning that I underwent regarding sexuality. I have gone through...
    ET1234 ET1234 26-30, F 82 Responses Mar 31, 2012

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    I've been married for almost ten years to a man.

    Two kids. It's become impossible to pretend to enjoy straight sex anymore. The older I get, the harder it is. I'm pretty much disgusted by it. It's not fair to him, but I also don't want to tear our family apart. I don't mind sacrificing my own sexual happiness for my kids, but...
    blondedyke blondedyke 36-40, F 6 Responses Apr 10

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    I just spent yet another day with the love of

    my life...who's married. I am a striaght (so I thought) single woman who has fallen in love with a married woman. She,too,has fell ln love with me. I never imagined I would be in a situation like this. Be with someone's spouse? Never! Now look at me. She has been unhappy for a...
    ARarePiece ARarePiece 31-35, F 2 Responses 5 days ago

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    Hi, I'm currently working on a new documentary

    for Sky. We are specifically looking for couples where one partner now identifies as gay, lesbian or bisexual or is in the process of exploring their sexuality and they are managing this within their relationship. The documentary will feature 3 or 4 couples who will speak about...
    RubyTV RubyTV 26-30, F 1 Response Aug 12, 2014

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    I Think I Am Figuring This Out

    Listening to Hole and I believe Courtney Love summed up my life before I came out with this line, "do you fake it for me like I fake it for you?" And it is so much more thatn sexual. I am wondering how many people walk around faking it and I can understand so much more about...
    gestshoup gestshoup 46-50, F 2 Responses Oct 13, 2012

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    Being Lesbian Is Not Without Reality

    When I read the stories posted here I right away can relate because I lived that lie and longed to be free to be me for many years. I did find the courage to break away and do the right thing. I read everyone's post about their dreams of being able to be totally passionate and...
    giayesim12 giayesim12 46-50, F 8 Responses Sep 15, 2013

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    This is only my 2nd post on this website.

    Back in February, I was confused about my orientation and that prompted me to search the internet for help, which is how I stumbled on the Experience Project. So, fast forward to December.... No longer confused, and in fact, very comfortable with what I now know is my real self...
    confusedboomer confusedboomer 51-55, F 1 Response Dec 1, 2014

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    I Am a Lesbian Married to a Straight Man

    Where do I begin? Well, I will just start from where I think I had my first inclination. When I was about 11 years old, I felt an attraction to girls when most of my friends were feeling an attraction to boys...you know 11 year old girls, all about the "boy bands"...
    sarahsinwithme sarahsinwithme 22-25, F 81 Responses Aug 30, 2008

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    I dated and had relationships with women

    for about 10 years before entering at ten-year committed relationship with a man. We live together now, but are in the process of separation. He knew all the while of my past and I was very open with him about my desires for women before we entered a relationship and during the...
    itspirit itspirit 36-40, F 5 Responses Oct 21, 2014

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    I met my husband when I was 18.

    I married when I was 20. Now I'm 28 and going crazy. I cannot date any women because they don't take me serious, because of my husband. I feel lonely and depressed. I feel i cant be myself. My husband knows Im in love with a woman for the past 5 years, and he is knowledgeable...
    maribabi86 maribabi86 26-30, F 4 Responses Jul 14, 2014

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    I've been married for 12 years

    and I have three children. I am just now coming to terms with the fact that I am definitely attracted to women. I have been aware of my attraction since I was 11 yrs old but growing up in a religious family, I was taught that it was wrong and so for years I have tried to ignore...
    mamatiger36 mamatiger36 36-40, F 8 Responses Mar 6, 2014

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    I'll be 40 this year

    and it will be mine and my husband's 15th anniversary. I do love him and have never cheated- until now. We have two kids, 8 and 5. I had been with women and men before we met. Over the years I've desired more and more to be with a woman. Having sex with my husband is only...
    DreamCat01 DreamCat01 36-40, F 3 Responses May 3

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    I don't know what to tell all of you to make

    this easier. I have been out to my husband for 2 yrs. Prior to that at our meeting 15 yrs. ago, he thought I was bi. And I've been Out to my kids 2 months. I have known I was a lesbian since I was a kid. Here comes the worn out story of how I pushed it all down my entire life...
    BostonAccent BostonAccent 51-55, F 4 Responses Nov 14, 2014

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    Im 26, Ive been with a man

    for 7 years, not even married for a full year yet and ive finally come to terms with the fact that im a lesbian. I came out to my parents at age 17 but it was the end of the world and i was basically pushed back into a closet because i so badly wanted to not disappoint. I wish i...
    azulu azulu 26-30, F 6 Responses Feb 25, 2014

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