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I Am a Lesbian Married to a Man

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,936 People

    I was raised a Jehovahs Witness.

    That proved be a hardship in my life when it came to accepting who i was as a person. From a very young age, I new I was gay. I used to get the other little girls to play "house" with me so I could pretend I was married to them. As I grew up, though, the shame of being...
    akg27 akg27 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 8

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    I have two children. I love my husband

    but do not feel the intense attraction I do to women. My husband knows the truth. We have decided to remain married for the sake of the children. It is a hard life. It is a tough place to be. To wake up beside someone who does not make my heart beat faster or take my breath...
    deleted deleted 26-30 6 Responses Dec 28, 2013

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    This is only my 2nd post on this website.

    Back in February, I was confused about my orientation and that prompted me to search the internet for help, which is how I stumbled on the Experience Project. So, fast forward to December.... No longer confused, and in fact, very comfortable with what I now know is my real self...
    confusedboomer confusedboomer 51-55, F 1 Response Dec 1

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    I came out to my husband three days ago,

    and I have never felt so relieved, happy, sad, excited, and terrified at the same time. I literally just googled "lesbians married to men" and found EP - I'd never heard of it before. I've read a few books on this subject over the past 18 months while I've been discovering my...
    txv3 txv3 26-30, F 7 Responses May 15

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    I'm 28 years old, been married

    for 3 years, no children. My marriage seems to have hit the perfect storm of all issues ever, and I'm stuck in the eye of the hurricane. I have known, at least consciously, for a couple of years that I am attracted to women. It scared me to face these feelings, and for the...
    twr86 twr86 26-30, F 2 Responses 6 days ago

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    I went on an online dating app

    and met someone the first time. I didn't know how beautiful she looked until I met her in person. She has very big brown eyes. After the first date, we continued going out for a few dates. I realized that I developed these feelings towards her. I think also I just left my...
    wonderlanddream wonderlanddream 26-30, F 2 Responses May 27

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    I dated and had relationships with women

    for about 10 years before entering at ten-year committed relationship with a man. We live together now, but are in the process of separation. He knew all the while of my past and I was very open with him about my desires for women before we entered a relationship and during the...
    itspirit itspirit 36-40, F 5 Responses Oct 21

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    My husband and I finally had the talk.

    He says he just wants me to be happy and we will always be close, but I am terrified I am going to lose him from my life. We have decided to try a separation to see what works for us. I am so scared about the future, but I know I cannot go back to living lie.
    Onlyifyoucanguess Onlyifyoucanguess 26-30, F 4 Responses Feb 19

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    What Type of Lesbian Are You?

    This group seems to be for women who are confused about their sexuality.  My guess is you don't want to claim the title of bisexual even though you fell in love and married a man.  So what type of lesbian does that make you?  Here are a few categories you may fall...
    ichooselife ichooselife 36-40, F 58 Responses May 27, 2009

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    I just found out I am a lesbian last year.

    I meant, I had a girl crush and it made me starting to question my sexuality. I dated girls before. It was over 10 years ago, I was so young and my last girlfriend I had was so emotional corrupted. She came from a broken family and she has a lot of issues. I remembered, she...
    wonderlanddream wonderlanddream 26-30, F 2 Responses May 2

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    I had a GF once before

    when I was 14-15 and we have still remained friends (but have no interest anymore to be with each other) when I was 18 I met my husband and just after a few short months of dating I ended up getting pregnant. We didn't get married until a few months ago and I can't help but...
    Hellowhitt Hellowhitt 22-25, F 2 Responses Jul 6

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    K. Ladies I came out to my husband of 26yrs

    last June and 3 daughters 16,19,22. For awhile nothing changed. Then I started feeling more confident abt myself! cuz the closet was absolutely killing me!!!! I didn't leave the house etc. I had also suffered a breakdown in 2008. When that happens and your on disability u...
    cronin43 cronin43 51-55, F Apr 29

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    It's Torture

    I long to be swept away madly in love with a woman so I can have the guts the man that's by my side. I do not know what to do anymore. This struggle is real and I do not know what stops me. Am I scared? Do I just care about him and his feelings more then I do my own? Am I scared...
    BlueCurrent BlueCurrent 26-30, F 3 Responses Nov 11, 2013

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    And I Just Came Out To My Husband..

    and to two of my close friends. At first, I thought it was a matter of being bi, and my hubby was ok with me meeting and dating other women. This was a few months ago. I've been dating a girl for almost two of those months now, and have been completely/bluntly honest with her...
    bluemajolica bluemajolica 31-35, F 10 Responses Nov 22, 2013

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    ugh... I haven't been on here in a long time.

    almost two years to be exact. in two years did I think I'd still be on here? no. I thought I'd be free. I thought for sure I'd be divorced and on the road to being with someone. I am not divorced. I have had an affair, yes, and fallen in love twice; but i am not free...
    8119CA 8119CA 31-35 5 Responses Dec 1

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    I am i have been married

    for 8 years but the older i get the more attraction i feel towards women
    drachenReiter drachenReiter 31-35, F 11 hrs ago

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    I'm not sure what to do.

    My husband is my life, my best friend, my soul mate, my intellectual match, my everything. I enjoy sex with him but I usually imagine being with a woman and am so rarely present. I hate looking at all men below the waist. My husband knows I am bisexual and we sometimes joke...
    OrchidQueen OrchidQueen 26-30, F 7 Responses Dec 10, 2013

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    I am bi and married to my best friend.

    But since I was young I've always been attracted to women. I don't know why, but they turn me on more then men do. I enjoy watching lesbian ****, rather then a man and woman. I can get off quicker watching lesbian **** then the other. Recently I have even went as far as dreaming...
    conwaylady conwaylady 22-25, F 4 Responses May 12

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    Im 26, Ive been with a man

    for 7 years, not even married for a full year yet and ive finally come to terms with the fact that im a lesbian. I came out to my parents at age 17 but it was the end of the world and i was basically pushed back into a closet because i so badly wanted to not disappoint. I wish i...
    azulu azulu 26-30, F 4 Responses Feb 25

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    My One Time And My Fantasy

    I grew up in a very conservative and closed minded Christian home. Through my teenage years and as an adult I went through a lot of pain trying to get rid of the negative and frankly rather disgusting conditioning that I underwent regarding sexuality. I have gone through...
    ET1234 ET1234 26-30, F 82 Responses Mar 31, 2012

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    Hi, I'm currently working on a new documentary

    for Sky. We are specifically looking for couples where one partner now identifies as gay, lesbian or bisexual or is in the process of exploring their sexuality and they are managing this within their relationship. The documentary will feature 3 or 4 couples who will speak about...
    RubyTV RubyTV 26-30, F 2 Responses Aug 12

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    I never thought I could love a woman

    when I was young. But here I am, out of my thirties. Seperated from my husband. I got married a 27, I was a virgin until then. Sex was ok, I believed we had our whole lives to get better. He wanted more and more, l began to want less. He became frustrated and angry in the...
    sashabee sashabee 41-45, F 5 Responses Oct 8

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    Ok Here Goes......

    So I am new here and figured I should share my story. I am 36 and have been married for 13 years. I have a 16 year old daughter. I have only came out my husband and he replied that I must be bisexual since I have only been with men. That is not the case....men do not turn me on...
    sadgirl36 sadgirl36 36-40, F 15 Responses Nov 4, 2012

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    I was an out lesbian

    when I met my (male) spouse. His aura, unlike any I'd ever seen, was a rainbow. I was fascinated, and surprisingly drawn to him. I wasn't put off by him (sexually), and figured "what the hell- if it feels good, go with it". A week later he moved in with me, and we were happy...
    mamaluvsladies mamaluvsladies 26-30, F 4 Responses May 26

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    I've been married for 12 years

    and I have three children. I am just now coming to terms with the fact that I am definitely attracted to women. I have been aware of my attraction since I was 11 yrs old but growing up in a religious family, I was taught that it was wrong and so for years I have tried to ignore...
    mamatiger36 mamatiger36 36-40, F 8 Responses Mar 6

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    I'm happily married and love my husband

    but sometimes I keep wondering what it be like to experience things with a woman
    TexasKindaGal TexasKindaGal 26-30, F 3 Responses Jan 20

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    I Think I Am Figuring This Out

    Listening to Hole and I believe Courtney Love summed up my life before I came out with this line, "do you fake it for me like I fake it for you?" And it is so much more thatn sexual. I am wondering how many people walk around faking it and I can understand so much more about...
    gestshoup gestshoup 46-50, F 2 Responses Oct 13, 2012

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    I have never been fully "out".

    My husband knew on our first date that I was bi. That's how I labeled myself because the truth was so much more complicated. Before my husband, I generally dated women. It wasn't until I was a senior in high school, that I actually had interest in a man. And I firmly...
    TryAnStopMe TryAnStopMe 26-30, F 6 Responses Jul 21

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    Being Lesbian Is Not Without Reality

    When I read the stories posted here I right away can relate because I lived that lie and longed to be free to be me for many years. I did find the courage to break away and do the right thing. I read everyone's post about their dreams of being able to be totally passionate and...
    giayesim12 giayesim12 46-50, F 8 Responses Sep 15, 2013

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    I married to a guy who z 54 yrs old.

    . He had 2 kids, girl is 18 yrs old, n boy is 12.. And I'm 33 yrs old.. Now I used 2 hv sex with his daughter.. I need 2 stop it, but I can't... I love whn she make love 2 me... We use 2 hv sex almost everyday..
    lisacook29 lisacook29 26-30, F 3 Responses Jun 5

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      I'm lesbian (or should I say Bi)

    and I'm not married. I'm 37 and still think I'll find someone to get married too. I'm just saying this to get you familiar with my short story, it's not that important. My point is (what actually brought me here) that I'm very very attracted to a woman which is married. She is...
    zuzzi zuzzi 36-40, F 6 Responses Feb 26

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    This is an interesting article http://www.

    salon.com/2014/07/29/im_a_lesbian_marrying_a_man/
    ron383 ron383 36-40, M 2 days ago

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    Confused Lesbian

    I am married to a very good man.  I too have always considered myself a good person.  I have 2 sons whom I love with all my heart.  I love my husband, but the attraction is just not there.  I dont think that it is not there for just him but for any man. ...
    DiBa DiBa 46-50 67 Responses Nov 2, 2008

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    I Am Married But Secretly Am Attracted To Women

    I am 41 and have been married for almost 17 years.  We have two children, ages 7 and 11.  I guess I have always known I was attracted to girls and knew something was different at a young age.  I never dated in high school but had a very close relationship with my...
    wendysgirl wendysgirl 36-40, F 23 Responses Mar 23, 2010

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    Now that I've regained my power

    and control in life back from my husband I feel like a new women!! I used to feel bad for my husband cuz I came outta the closet. Now I don't give a F! He claimed he didn't control things b4 so the other day I was saying u should try doing the checkbook this way. (cuz there was...
    cronin43 cronin43 51-55, F May 4

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    Evangelical, Married But Know I Am Still Drawn To Women

    Hi Everyone, Im going to share my story, and I would love to connect with any of you who would like to (ny email etc) and make some new friends. I am 38 years old, currently living in Whyalla, South Australia. I am Mum to 4 kids, all 7 and under. I love them dearly. I love my...
    jelpick jelpick 36-40, F 16 Responses Dec 12, 2012

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    I never want my husband much any more.

    He literally has to beg me for sex. Yes it's sad, I don't need any bashing. I just feel so more attracted and attached to my girl.. I always want and need her. It's hard to keep telling my husband I'm not leaving him for her. I don't want to leave at all, but something has to...
    LittleTarheel14 LittleTarheel14 22-25, F 5 Responses Oct 29

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    How Long Can I Lie To Everyone Around Me?

    I was quite the tomboy growing up. Most of my friends were boys because girls were too girly. I couldn't understand why they would want to wear dresses or have done up hair and why they would pretend to run at recess when the boys chased them. I didn't ever think that I was gay...
    LiltingNinny LiltingNinny 36-40, F 12 Responses Dec 1, 2011

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    The train has left the station.

    I came out to my husband of 26 years on Monday. It was a very heartfelt experience. He handled the news with understanding and compassion. He's amazing and I've been mostly proud of how he's dealing with it. It helps that he has some close, supportive friends. I know this...
    confusedboomer confusedboomer 51-55, F 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    I have been in 2 long term relationships one at

    13 for 8 years 3 kids, the other for 13 years 2 kids on going trying to separate form him. He is being very difficult. He doesn't want the relationship to end. I don't get along with him. I have dreams of being with a woman. I haven't told him this. We just do not get along, I...
    jenifer95341 jenifer95341 31-35, F 2 Responses Sep 9

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    I've been with my husband

    since I was 18. Together for 18 years, married for 10. Two wonderful kids, 4yrs & 11months. We are best friends. No passion (now I know why) but really the one person I've wanted to spend time with for all these years. About 5 months ago I realized I was gay. It was liberating...
    burnsygirl1 burnsygirl1 36-40, F 5 Responses Oct 22

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    Actually, I'm not a lesbian married to a man.

    Not anymore. But I wanted to share my story in this group so I can possibly give someone somewhere hope. Things can get better!!! I married my best guy friend in 2009. We had dated for 2 years, and then were engaged for a year. 2 years after we married, we bought a house...
    thesupernurse thesupernurse 22-25, F 3 Responses Jun 27

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    I am 32 and educated.

    Married for eight years with a son. I am not afraid to speak my mind and I always tried to follow my heart. But following ones heart can be tricky. I know I would tremendously hurt my husband if we divorced and I know that if I continue to live life this way (finding women...
    deleted deleted 26-30 5 Responses Feb 17

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    I don't know what to tell all of you to make

    this easier. I have been out to my husband for 2 yrs. Prior to that at our meeting 15 yrs. ago, he thought I was bi. And I've been Out to my kids 2 months. I have known I was a lesbian since I was a kid. Here comes the worn out story of how I pushed it all down my entire life...
    BostonAccent BostonAccent 51-55, F 6 Responses Nov 14

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    I Am A Married To A Man Butwant To Be With Woman.

    I am a 39 women who wants to leave my husband. I am afraid to leave baced on the fear. I am depressed & feeling alone. I don't hve sex or injoy it with him. I don't like when he forces himself on me when I say no. I just want to run away from my marriage . Pls someone help me.
    1331jean 1331jean 36-40, F 57 Responses Aug 19, 2012

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    I Am Bisexual And Married To A Great Man.

    I'm a bisexual and happily married to a wonderful an understanding man, but a true and strong connection with a woman is missing from my life and it makes me feel like something is missing - not from us, but from me. I wonder if there are other married women staring out a window...
    onegirltwohearts onegirltwohearts 26-30, F 8 Responses Nov 10, 2013

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    I feel I no longer need to find any answers.

    It is clear to me that I am in love with a woman. That I will make her mine . All the questions have been answered. She is everything to me! I don't feel I need anyone but her. I have not posted a single thing on here in some time. I know there are other people afraid to...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Apr 23

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    Triad Trials

    Her eyes, her lies,  chains on my heart, pains on my face, Attempt in my wake, failure in my future Tears in a clear bottle.  Hope in my step, caution in the approach, Takeoff on the verge of reality, choking on the fumes, He appears through the fog, fingers on a greased hog...
    WingedUnicorn WingedUnicorn 26-30, F 3 Responses Feb 9, 2013

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    The Struggle

    What am I doing, what have I done? Who am I becoming, what have I become? Betrayer of hearts, destroyer of lives Sometimes I feel I am someone to despise. Look at what you're doing! Oh my God! Who are you kidding! What a fascade! Unsettled, anxious, lost and alone Soul hollow...
    mistletoe41 mistletoe41 41-45, F 8 Responses Sep 28, 2013

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    I think I'm in the right place;

    so right that I'm probably about to write the same thing as most in this group. I have been married to a wonderful man for 10 years and we have 3 beautiful daughters. My husband has always been aware that I am (at least) bisexual, and that I have been with a couple of girls...
    deleted deleted 26-30 8 Responses Dec 21, 2013

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    I met my husband when I was 18.

    I married when I was 20. Now I'm 28 and going crazy. I cannot date any women because they don't take me serious, because of my husband. I feel lonely and depressed. I feel i cant be myself. My husband knows Im in love with a woman for the past 5 years, and he is knowledgeable...
    maribabi86 maribabi86 26-30, F 4 Responses Jul 14