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I Am a Love Addict

Are you still in love even after it's over? Are you afraid you'll always be alone? Do you feel unworthy of love and have been behaving like a stalker? If yes, you are a love addict. 1,150 People

    December 4. Letting Go.

    "How much do we need to let go of?" a friend asked one day. "I'm not certain," I replied, "but maybe everything." Letting go is a spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical process, a sometimes mysterious metaphysical process of releasing to God and the Universe that which we...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F 1 Response Dec 4

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    Two Weeks Sober

    I started SLAA meetings knowing I was about to fly across country to meet a woman I'd fallen in love with online.  It was scary because I love to tell stories, but if I told this story about how unsober I was going to be, what would happen?  Would they kidnap me and...
    wundayatta wundayatta 56-60, M 4 Responses May 11, 2010

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    November 25. Awareness.

    When we first become aware of a problem, a situation, or a feeling, we may react with anxiety or fear. There is no need to fear awareness. No need. Awareness is the first step toward positive change and growth. It's the first step toward solving the problem, or getting the...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F Nov 25

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    November 9. Asking for Help.

    It's okay to ask for help. One of the most absurd things we do to ourselves is not asking for the help we need from a friend, a family member, our Higher Power, or the appropriate resource. We don't have to struggle through feelings and problems alone. We can ask for help...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F Dec 9

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    December 6. Letting Go of Shame.

    Many of us were victimized, sometimes more than once. We may have been physically abused, sexually abused, or exploited by the addictions of another. Understand that if another person has abused us, it is not cause for us to feel shame. The guilt for the act of abuse belongs...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F Dec 6

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    November 27. We can Trust Ourselves.

    For many of us, the issue is not whether we can trust another person again; it's whether we can trust our own judgment again. "The last mistake I made almost cost me my sanity," said one recovering woman who married a sex addict. "I can't afford to make another mistake like...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F Nov 27

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    Feb. 28. Letting Go of Denial.

    We are slow to believe that which, if believed, would hurt our feelings. —Ovid Most of us in recovery have engaged in denial from time to time. Some of us relied on this tool. We may have denied events or feelings from our past. We may have denied other people's problems...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F Feb 28

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    December 14. Clear Thinking.

    Strive for clear thinking. Many of us have had our thinking clouded by denial. Some of us have even lost faith in ourselves because we've spent a degree of time in denial. But losing faith in our thinking isn't going to help us. What we need to lose faith in is denial. We didn...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F 1 Response Dec 14

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    Are All Love Addicts As Scared Of Rejection As I Am?

    One of the traits of love addiction is a holy terror of being rejected or abandoned. So we stick to one person for a bit, then get disillusioned by their negative points, and run away before they see our negative points...I want to be in a healthy loving relationship like...
    clouds4208 clouds4208 36-40, F 3 Responses Jan 27, 2013

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    December 22. Good Things Coming.

    Do not worry about how the good that has been planned for you will come. It will come. Do not worry, obsess, and think you have to control it, go out hunting for it, or tangle your mind trying to figure out how and when it will find you. It will find you. Surrender to your...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F 17 hrs ago

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    Crop Circles. Take A Closer Look.

       I havn't noticed much being written about this phenomenon. I have heard slightly about them over the years but always with ideas of some body is playing a prank accompanying the awareness.  However in the past 1 - 5years, it appears that this occurrence has increased...
    lafsnack lafsnack 51-55, M 3 Responses May 14, 2011

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    December 7. When the Time is Right.

    There are times when we simply do not know what to do, or where to go, next. Sometimes these periods are brief, sometimes lingering. We can get through these times. We can rely on our program and the disciplines of recovery. We can cope by using our faith, other people, and...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F Dec 7

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    Confessions of a Love Addict

    I have a very serious problem with love and sex. I am a love addict. I am addicted to the attention and love of others. I cannot live this way anymore.  I am married, yet I still pursue relationships, whether virtual or realistic to hang on to. My husband's love is...
    addictoflove addictoflove 31-35 8 Responses Sep 19, 2009

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    December 15. Feelings.

    It's okay to have and feel our feelings - all of them. Years into recovery, we may still be battling with ourselves about this issue. Of all the prohibitions we've lived with, this one is potentially the most damaging and the most long-lived. Many of us needed to shut down...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F a week ago

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    I need it. To feel it.

    Believe it. Understand that I'm worth it.
    dsuzy dsuzy 36-40, F 1 Response Jan 17

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    March 6. Peace. Anxiety is often our first

    reaction to conflict, problems, or even our own fears. In those moments, detaching and getting peaceful may seem disloyal or apathetic. We think: If I really care, I'll worry; if this is really important to me, I must stay upset. We convince ourselves that outcomes will be...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F 1 Response Mar 6

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    December 10. Empowerment.

    You can think. You can make good decisions. You can make choices that are right for you. Yes, we all make mistakes from time to time. But we are not mistakes. We can make a new decision that takes new information into account. We can change our mind from time to time. That's...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F Dec 10

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    December 5. Difficult People.

    Few things can make us feel crazier than expecting something from someone who has nothing to give. Few things can frustrate us more than trying to make a person someone he or she isn't; we feel crazy when we try to pretend that person is someone he or she is not. We may have...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F Dec 5

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    March 2. Feelings on the Job.

    "I'm furious about my job. Another man got a promotion that I believe I deserve. I'm so mad I feel like quitting. Now my wife says I should deal with my feelings. What good will that do? He still got the promotion." —Anonymous Our feelings at work are as important as our...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F Mar 2

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    December 17. Nurturing Ourselves.

    Many of us have been so deprived of nurturing that we think it's silly or self-indulgent. Nurturing is neither silly nor self-indulgent; it's how we show love for ourselves. That's what we're striving for in recovery - a loving relationship with ourselves that works, so we can...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F 5 days ago

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    December 20. Expectations of Others.

    It is our job to identify our needs, and then determine a balanced way of getting those needs met. We ultimately expect our Higher Power and the Universe - not one particular person - to be our source. It is unreasonable to expect anyone to be able or willing to meet our every...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F 2 days ago

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    Did'nt Know I Did'nt Know

    I am a love addict.I did'nt know this is what I am until recently.I have been working on the co-dependency side of me for A LONG time.I recently discovered I am a "LOVE ADDICT".It hurts.I believe because I come from a broken home & had little to no...
    ladycroft39 ladycroft39 36-40, F 5 Responses Nov 25, 2009

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    December 19. Work Roles.

    How easy it is to dive into roles at work. How easy it is to place other people in roles. Sometimes, this is necessary, appropriate, and expedient. But we can also let our self-shine through our role. There is joy in giving our gift of skill at work, at giving ourselves to...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F 3 days ago

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    November 30. Detachment.

    One day, my son brought a gerbil home to live with us. We put it in a cage. Some time later, the gerbil escaped. For the next six months, the animal ran frightened and wild through the house. So did we - chasing it. "There it is. Get it!" we'd scream, each time someone spotted...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F Nov 30

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    Feb. 13. Trusting Ourselves.

    What a great gift we've been given - ourselves. To listen to ourselves, to trust instinct and intuition, is to pay tribute to that gift. What a disservice not to heed the leadings and leanings that so naturally arise from within. When will we learn that these leadings and...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F 2 Responses Feb 13

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    December 13. Giving. Don't be afraid of giving.

    For a while, we may need to back off from giving as we learn to discern the difference between healthy giving and caretaking, which leave us feeling victimized and others feeling resentful. This is a temporary spot. To be healthy, to do our part in this spiritual way of life...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F Dec 13

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    December 8. Valuing Our Needs.

    When we don't ask for what we want and need, we discount ourselves. We deserve better. Maybe others taught us it wasn't polite or appropriate to speak up for ourselves. The truth is, if we don't, our unmet wants and needs may ultimately come back to haunt our relationships. We...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F Dec 8

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    December 21. Balance.

    Strive for balanced expectations of others. Strive for healthy tolerance. In the past, we may have tolerated too much or too little. We may have expected too much or too little. We may swing from tolerating abuse, mistreatment, and deception to refusing to tolerate normal...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F 1 day ago

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    December 12. God's Will.

    Each day, ask God what God wants us to do today; then ask God to help. A simple request, but so profound and far reaching it can take us anywhere we need to go. Listen: all that we want, all that we need, all the answers, all the help, all the good, all the love, all the...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F Dec 12

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    November 26. Letting Go of Self-Criticism.

    Look how far we've come! It's good to focus on the task ahead, on what remains to be done. It's important to stop and feel pleased about what we've accomplished too. Yes, it may seem that the change has been slow. At times, change is grueling. Yes, we've taken steps backward...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F Nov 26

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    November 24. Surrender.

    Surrender means saying, "Okay, God. I'll do whatever You want." Faith in the God of our recovery means we trust that, eventually, we'll like doing that. Today, I will surrender to my Higher Power. I'll trust that God's plan for me will be good, even if it is different than I...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F Nov 24

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    November 29. Step Twelve.

    The Twelfth Step says that having had a spiritual awakening, we try to carry this message to others. Our message is one of hope, love, comfort, health - a better way of life, one that works. How do we carry it? Not by rescuing. Not by controlling. Not by obsessing. Not by...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F Nov 29

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    All guys my age want is to just "mess around" i

    dont see no future in a bond that has just sex! And im annoyed that all dudes my age have to offer is that.
    epipfhani epipfhani 18-21, F 3 Responses May 25

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    I Make Myself Sick.

    I don't know how to stop getting involved with men i have no business getting involved with, breaking people's hearts because i am too terrified to get too close...well let's see... i was married once for a few years, then left him for another guy, but he wasn't as great as I...
    clouds4208 clouds4208 36-40, F 4 Responses Jan 26, 2013

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    December 2. Putting Our Life on Hold.

    We cannot afford to put our needs on hold, waiting for another person to fulfill us, make our life better, or come around and be who and what we want that person to be. That will create resentment, hostility, an unhealthy dependency, and a mess to deal with later on. If we...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F Dec 2

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    I've been on the journey

    for just under two years. Before that I didn't know 'what' the problem was. I discovered first that I'm codependent, then a psychologist mentioned love addiction and it fit like a glove. From the time I was a little girl, I was terrified of never finding love. I have been...
    toolatetoapologise toolatetoapologise 51-55, F Jun 23

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    Confusing Other Things With Love.

    Here is a very incomplete list of things that I confuse with real love... physical intimacy (with or without sexual intimacy) dependency obsession neediness premature emotional or physical attachment being "in a relationship" romantic intrigue taking care of someone no matter...
    deleted deleted 26-30 5 Responses Mar 13, 2013

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    April 20. Deadlines. "I don't know

    whether I want in or out of this relationship. I've been struggling with it for months now. It's not appropriate to let it hang indefinitely. I will give myself two months to make a decision." —Anonymous Sometimes, it helps to set a deadline. This can be true when we face...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F Apr 20

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    Withdrawl From My Love ...Day 2

    im sitting here trying to stop the thoughts what if i wait, what is he doing, is he thinking of me , why isnt he texting me , he usually txts me goodnight at this time .... It is 2 full days i dont talk to my drug of choice the 5 years we know each other seem to have withered...
    kikixox kikixox 26-30 Jul 30, 2013

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    Loving him was like trying to change your mind

    once you are already flying through the free fall......Memorizing him was as easy as remembering every word of your favorite song.
    Blackangel4u Blackangel4u 22-25, F Dec 17, 2013

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    December 18. Staying Open to Our Feelings.

    Many of us have gotten so good at following the "don't feel" rule that we can try to talk ourselves out of having feelings, even in recovery. "If I was really working a good program, I wouldn't feel angry." "I don't get angry. I'm a Christian. I forgive and forget." "I'm not...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F 4 days ago

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    And she tried to find the words .

    . Mixing them together like a powerful potion .. To her words were things of beauty , She was trying to spell magic . How could she ever explain , just what she was trying to say .. So she closed her eyes and spoke in a thousand silent ways .
    birdblu birdblu 31-35, F 5 Responses Mar 12

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    March 18. Safety. One of the long-term effects

    of living in a dysfunctional family - as children or adults - is that we don't feel safe. Much of what we call codependency happens because we don't feel safe in relationships. This can cause us to control, obsess, or focus on the other person, while neglecting ourselves or...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F Mar 18

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    I have a huge problem.

    I'm addicted to love and my OM. When we aren't in contact I go into major withdrawal. Painful. I'm a disaster. Its not friggin normal. Yes I'm madly in love but my behaviour and thoughts are irrational and obsessive Its destroying me from the inside out. suddenly today...
    mysecretworld mysecretworld 36-40, F 3 Responses Jan 17

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    OhGK OhGK 26-30, F 2 Responses Sep 2

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    I've never been kissed,

    I want to be kissed so bad
    yourbeautifulValerie yourbeautifulValerie 13-15, F 2 Responses Sep 5

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    December 1. Letting People Be There

    for Us. Sometimes, we need nurturing. Sometimes, we need people to support us. Many of us have been deprived of support and nurturing for so long we may not realize it's something we want and need. Many of us have learned to block our stop ourselves from getting what we want...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F Dec 1

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    I fall hard and after a few months,

    I start going crazy. Jealousy, codependency, loss of self. I don't know what to do anymore. Too many amazing people that I've lost to this.
    copernicus623 copernicus623 31-35, M 1 Response May 12

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    November 28. Back to the Steps.

    Go back to the Steps. Go back to a Step When we don't know what to do next, when we feel confused, upset, distraught, at the end of our rope, overwhelmed, full of self will, rage, or despair, go back to the Steps. No matter what situation we are facing, working a Step will...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F Nov 28

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    The Huntress

    Night owl soaring lonely and perching on each new yellow bird Where are you going to lie tonight? Love costs more than your willing to spare Your soul belongs to the universe but feathers and soft flesh you'll easily share.
    anotherinnocent anotherinnocent 22-25, F 9 Responses Apr 8, 2013

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    Clouds4208'S List Of 41 Relationship Red Flags To Avoid

    So with my long relationship history and from stories I have heard, I have gathered up a list of Red Flags to be wary of when you are dating or have met a new Special Someone. Red Flags don't mean you shouldn't date or care for a person - just that you need to be careful. This...
    clouds4208 clouds4208 36-40, F 4 Responses Jan 31, 2013

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