I Am a Mother In Law With a Difficult Daughter In Law

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 125 People

    Mountaingirl11 Mountaingirl11
    56-60, F
    Jul 12, 2015

    I really do not know

    where to start. My oldest son (who has been difficult since birth) married a women who is controlling and just plain mean. He has been married to her now for 12.5 years. They dated for 7 years prior to marriage. She has never been nice to me, my sister nor my oldest daughter. It...
    arvajean6 arvajean6
    61-65, F
    Jan 9

    My daughter-in-law of 3 years is very selfish

    and disrespectful. She doesn't cook meals, but she bakes desserts and sweets almost daily. So when we visit their house, I make home-cooked meals -- which I don't mind. However, every single time I have to spend an hour or more cleaning up a filthy kitchen before I cook...
    zenfrog zenfrog
    46-50, F
    Dec 3, 2015

    Don't Expect Her To Change.

    My only child (my son) married a nice girl who is very sweet as long as she gets her way. She has control issues which I have become to recognize and accept in order to save my sanity. My advise to all mother in laws is...accept her the way she is, stay away from her as much as...
    monican1 monican1
    61-65
    10 Responses Feb 6, 2012

    I don't understand what is going on with my

    daughter-in-law. We used to be very close and I just adored her. I "assumed" she adored me but now I realize it was prob one sided. She and my son recently had their first child. I had thrown them a very expensive catered shower, which hurt financially, but I wanted it to be...
    forgottenmom forgottenmom
    41-45, F
    3 Responses Dec 28, 2014

    Nightmare

    I am so glad to have found a support group for the much maligned mothers-in-law! While I know there are some truly awful, meddlesome MIL's, there are also kind hearted, supportive and loving ones. I have always tried to be that kind of MIL; I know I am far from perfect, but I am...
    barbararose barbararose
    56-60, F
    2 Responses Oct 2, 2012

    Mother Of Sons

    I basically am very lucky to have a nice DIL.   The only problem is it's always her way.  Her thinking is "black and white" with no diverting from her plan.  My youngest son and his wife have to come to town for an event and live several hours away...
    ladyskier ladyskier
    51-55
    3 Responses Jul 26, 2010

    Need Help...she Is Not Even An Official Dil Yet

    For the past 15 months our son has lived with his girlfriend. They got engaged in December and since then she has turned into a rude and demanding/controlling person. She moved here from up north with 1/2 trailer full of nothing and a family who seems they cannot stand her. We...
    MILTOB MILTOB
    51-55
    4 Responses May 6, 2012

    My husband and I have three grown sons.

    Two are currently married. Our oldest married a woman about 5yrs. older with three children from a previous marriage. I will start there, as that situation has gone on the longest. 8 yrs. At one time I felt as if our relationship was good and could turn out to be very loving and...
    dazyaday dazyaday
    51-55, F
    Feb 15, 2014

    I have had about 4 years of nothing

    but bullying and degrading by my DIL. at first my son stood up for me but now she has him convinced I am awful and was an awful mom. I raised my son on my own and was always there for him. Since they got engaged and then married it's been awful. They have 2 beautiful children...
    suetay suetay
    51-55
    1 Response Nov 17, 2015

    I've read alot about women

    who have to deal with a difficult daughter in law. It has helped to know I am not alone. I just need someplace to vent alittle. When my son first told us he was dating her, he told my husband & I that she was not a nice person, but that he liked her anyway. First red flag...
    grandmanot grandmanot
    56-60, F
    3 Responses Jan 31, 2014

    What Is My Next Move, If Anything?

    I am so disappointed in how my relationship with DIL of 19 years has turned out.  I really liked her and thought she was good for my son, but for the past 7 or so years things have definitely chilled.  I have not meddled in their lives that I can think of nor have I ever...
    C52227 C52227
    61-65, F
    1 Response Oct 10, 2011

    Nice to have a place to share this struggle.

    My DIL has lived with us since she was 15. She came into my son's life at a very difficult time and was very loyal yo him over the 6 years they have been together. Her own mother was not nice to her and was verbally abusive to her I sure causing huge self esteem issues and I...
    wendy72 wendy72
    41-45, F
    4 Responses Feb 17, 2014

    My son and dinlaw have 4 great kids.

    She is a spectacular mom. Problem is I hardly see them. They are close to her family, but ours is shut out. I think she sees more of her mother, even though they live 3,000 miles away (on the east coast), than I see of them although I live 2 hours away. I have tried very hard...
    maracel maracel
    66-70, F
    Jun 17, 2015

    My Terrrible Daughter In Law

    I have tried to like and be the best mother in law I can be for the last 13 years and nothing seems to get better. My daughter in law is extremely manipulative and narcissistic. She is ruining my sons life and I am concerned for my grandchildren. Over the years, she has...
    RebekahW RebekahW
    56-60, F
    5 Responses Sep 2, 2013

    Need Advice Regarding Difficult Daughter In Law

    My only son married 4 years ago. I was soo happy that I gained a daughter I never had. I helped them a great deal to get settled down in life. As days went by, I saw a side of her I did not like. She does not consider husband's family as her own and do not want to...
    daughterless daughterless
    56-60
    17 Responses Jun 4, 2009

    DIL's Can Change!

    As a DIL I can see myself in many of these stories sadly. I was diagnosed with being Bi-Polar. It took along time but I am now on medication that lifted my depression, anxiety and manic episodes which caused hell for the whole family. Since I started taking Latuda (which works...
    salbug63 salbug63
    51-55, F
    1 Response Aug 16, 2013

    Well she not my daughter in law

    but is my son's girlfriend. She's 21 and whenever she's over she thinks she rules the place. Tbh she a bit of a sl@g. Her name is Ayesha.
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    15 Responses Jun 4, 2015

    My Son And Daughter In Law Are Living With Me...

    Over a year ago my son and daughter in law and three grand kids were about to be homeless because my son lost his job. I couldn't allow this to happen so I took them in. I live in government housing and am on a fixed income due to a back injury so I have nothing to offer them...
    salbug63 salbug63
    51-55, F
    Aug 16, 2013

    After 20 Years Of Putting Up With This, Tonight She Is In Prison

    I can so relate to the control freak DIL. My DIL met my son in his teens right after a break up with his gf urged by her mother. He was vulnerable and she turned on the sexual advances. She has burned him with a hot iron to his chest, beat him ,demeaned belittled and destroyed...
    2 Responses Jan 9, 2013

    Over the past 7 years I have tried to be a good

    mother in law. For the sake of my son I treated my daughter in law as a daughter. I only offered advice if asked and kept my mouth shut if not. We got along ok as long as I agreed with her. Red flags went up when not long after the wedding she asked what chores were. As I tried...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    4 Responses Aug 6, 2014

    And Life Seems to Come Full Circle

    I have only one child (by choice) -- a son. We (my husband and I) have a great relationship with him. He calls us, sends us emails, always lets us know what’s going on in his life. He married at age 32 to a young woman who is almost three years older than him. From the...
    whenfamilyfails whenfamilyfails
    61-65
    7 Responses Aug 26, 2009

    Since the beginning almost 16 years ago shes

    been difficult.I have an only son.His biological father left us when my son was 6 months old. So its been me and him. I have had relationships, but he always was my priority. He met this girl from Guatamala. She has been nasty, and disrepectful most of the time. Now they are...
    augustine999 augustine999
    61-65, F
    2 Responses Mar 28

    My spouse and I raised four respectful,

    hard working, educated, caring young men. This men are now 27-32. I have two daughter in laws that appear to truly love and care for my sons. Out third son, at the age of 19, following high school graduation went to Las Vegas to spend the Summer with his grandmother and uncle...
    Tinalou Tinalou
    51-55, F
    2 Responses Jun 4, 2014

    I Have A Daughter In Law From Hell

    This started 15 yrs ago, I have tried to stay out of their lives and now I will keep a log of my thoughts. She con my son to married her in Las Vegas and thought it was a fake wedding. She con 18000 dollars from us for her honeymoon. She waited until we moved 1200 miles away...
    chris6753 chris6753
    56-60
    Dec 3, 2013

    I have two daughters in law

    that are gems, and one soon to be daughter in law, who is probably the worst girl I've ever met in my life. Rude rude, keeps me out of 'their' life, and all of that. I don't feel she 'stole' my son away from me, I feel she is a shrewd manipulator and the stakes have been very...
    anothermiltobe anothermiltobe
    56-60, F
    6 Responses Aug 26, 2014

    Confused About What To Do

    my son age 30 has been married 2 years as of september he has 2 kids from a previous relationship, his wife age 24 has a child as well. here is the rub.... his wife has been having an affair for the last year with my son's cousin. the affair was discovered a few months ago. my...
    osaka95 osaka95
    46-50
    1 Response Oct 27, 2011

    LoL sorry mom that you have to deal with me.

    See, we don't have a choice but deal with it.
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Jul 13, 2015

    I am a mil with three boys.

    My first son got married a year ago. I'll be a grandma soon. That's exiting. I have no daughter. I was hoping my dil will be like my daughter. But she never talk with me. I text her letting her know how exited I am. She ignores my text. As much as I want to be her friend she...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    2 Responses Sep 24, 2015

    Disrespectful D.l.

    We have been blessed with 3 sons and a beautiful daughter. We have three daughter-in-laws that are difficult. We have bent over backwards to be supporative. the jealousy, lies, and out right total disrespect. we have stepped back. our sons wife has a 50k car because he makes a...
    farmerandhiswife farmerandhiswife
    61-65
    4 Responses Mar 1, 2012

    Difficult Daughter-in-law

    My stepson got married a little over a year ago to a woman who called and said I could not come to the wedding because she was afraid the grooms biological mother would get upset. The relationship from that point on has been cordial at best. I simply do ot want to be around...
    needapaddle needapaddle
    61-65, F
    1 Response Jul 3, 2013

    35yo son who has always been very single met

    his first girlfriend on dating site he joined with help from my other son and his wife. After about seven months she has moved into his home and has requested and received a complete makeover of the house. My husband myself and other family spent time and money helping him...
    littlebobchapin littlebobchapin
    61-65, F
    3 Responses May 4, 2015

    Dealing With A Difficult Daughter In Law

    I HAD NO IDEAL so many people have DIL'S that are difficult.  My DIL has 2 sons and someday, well they say "what goes around comes around".
    plhuff55 plhuff55
    56-60
    1 Response Jan 19, 2011

    Ok ladies! I have gained 3 DILs in 2 years.

    We have had some problems but I have worked through them. But the last DIL is distant. She came from a broken home and didn't have loving role models. I raised 5 boys in a fun loving supportive environment. How do I gain these girls respect and draw us all together? This last...
    Joyfulkp Joyfulkp
    56-60, F
    2 Responses Jul 30, 2015

    My daughter in law from hell is just that!

    She's a vicious conniving *****!
    Star53 Star53
    61-65, F
    Jan 10, 2014

    About a year ago our middle son (divorced with

    a young son), started dating a nice girl. Or so we all thought. After three months they were engaged. She seemed to enjoy our family and was always pleasant and friendly to everyone, especially my other grandchildren. They planned a nice wedding on a beach in Florida. Sent out...
    dazyaday dazyaday
    51-55, F
    2 Responses Feb 15, 2014

    Bang61

    Having a difficult time with my dil.  My son is an only child and he and I have always been very close in the past.  That is before he married his wife in 2009 When they were dating she thought I interfered too much and made sure that i did not call him too much and also did...
    Bang61 Bang61
    41-45
    3 Responses May 9, 2011

    Where Do I Go From Here?

    Both my sons married a few years ago . I was thrilled for both and felt I had good relationships with the girls. Two years ago my grandson was born to my one son & suddenly my daughter-in-law turned into a different person . It was as if a wall was put up. I was...
    Amhuman Amhuman
    56-60
    4 Responses Jun 6, 2012

    Unresponsive Daughter-in-law Who Is Polite But Ignores Us

    My only daughter-in-law, who is extremely close to her own family, avoids me and her father-in-law. She is the mother of my only grandchild of 4 years and lives 3,000 miles away from us on the West Coast, so I rarely get to see my grandson. Her own mother, sister, father, and...
    knittingnana knittingnana
    56-60, F
    17 Responses Jun 26, 2012

    Daughters-In-Law

    I am mother-in-law to two very different women; the youngest is warm, family-oriented and inclusive. They have a new baby and I get pictures, videos daily as well as regular invitations to visit. The oldest is distant, uncommunicative, has never invited us to their home even...
    srbelle1 srbelle1
    61-65, F
    3 Responses Feb 28, 2013

    Problems With Daughter In Law

    I too have a difficult daughter in law.  She is a power freak.  She always finds fault with everything I do and say.  After a few fights over the years we "made up" four years ago in time for their wedding.  During the wedding she went out of her way to make...
    eyag eyag
    56-60
    5 Responses Oct 19, 2010

    I should start out by saying

    that I have never, ever had an argument with my daughter(s) in law. I was determined to be the strong supportive mother-in-law who respects her daughter(s) in law and who would be there for them whenever and however they needed me. I suppose that the geographical distance...
    ChantyWife ChantyWife
    66-70, F
    1 Response Oct 22, 2014

    I just recently joined EP,

    i am new to all of this, so bear with me..i do not care for social media, have never had a facebook page etc...having said that, I am desperate for advice i recently posted something under " i hate my mnl" not because i really hate her, i dont, but again I am desperate, so when...
    Neuronurse Neuronurse
    46-50, F
    Nov 8, 2014

    On Again...off Again...

    I have known my daughter-in-law for 16 years.  She has been married to my son for 12 years.  I have 3 grandchildren.  My son has recently expressed to my DIL that he wants a divorce.  My DIL sent me a text five days ago calling me a liar, telling me to not bother her or the...
    chita43 chita43
    51-55
    2 Responses Dec 27, 2010

    My husband and I are invisible to our dil.

    Married 20+ years with 2 daughters. Her parents live close as well (as we do). We definately get left overs. It could be worse (as I've read some of the posts on this site). Son is slightly attentive to us, BUT he is constantly in a loser's seat. I've never said anything...
    dogpoo dogpoo
    61-65, F
    2 Responses Sep 25, 2014

    Help I Need Advice

    My son has been with this girl for 3 years, they have a two year old daughter, my granddaughter which I love very much, they have never married  but i still call her my daughter in law, The problem is that she tells lies on me for no reason, I use to call her on the phone just...
    borolady borolady
    46-50
    6 Responses Jul 8, 2011

    I have three wonderful sons

    and two DILs. The first DIL is fabulous. We get along wonderfully. her mother and I are also very friendly. We help with babysitting our beautiful grandson. My second DIL is turning into a nightmare.She refers to herself as introverted, but she is really just rude. The series...
    maryemcd maryemcd
    66-70, F
    3 Responses Dec 8, 2015
More Stories