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I Am a People Pleaser

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,180 People

    An Amazing Self-help Book

    Hi, I just wanted to share that I am also a people pleaser. It causes me a lot of anxiety. I feel I do not have any friends because I don't know how to relate properly. I also have trouble saying no, and with every relationship there is compromise, and I feel I always have to...
    CarliB CarliB 26-30 2 Responses Nov 26, 2011

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    If I'm Good Enough For You- I Should Be Good Enough For Me!!!

    In all aspects of my life I go out of my way and beyond to ensure those I care about are happy and that I am able to please them. Often feeling like a failure to myself I'm very fearful of letting others down or saying no because I can't handle the thought of rejection or being...
    nevaeh5683 nevaeh5683 26-30, F Mar 9, 2012

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    Content People Make Me Feel Good

    I like to be around people who need something I can give them. If you're hungry I love to feed you. If you are unhappy or sad, I'll give you an ear and a shoulder to cry on. If you want someone to help paint your house, I'm your girl. I'm not much of a joiner (clubs or...
    some2soon some2soon 41-45, F 3 Responses Jul 12, 2012

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    A Short Story In Exactly 100 Words.....Hope You Get The Ending :)

                                                Fertile Ground “Eat your spinach Jack.” He fretted, tears watered his six year old choirboy face. “So I can get big and strong like Daddy?” Construction worker Daddy, repeatedly left...
    thedude66 thedude66 41-45, M 1 Response Mar 31, 2013

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    Where And Why Did It Begin

    Hi all, I think we people pleasers are just simply nice people in a not so nice world. As a people pleaser I have suffered the whip lash effect of being a people pleaser. Does this also happen to you? You are the one trying to please everyone but at the end of the day you are...
    iyyphpr5er iyyphpr5er 46-50 4 Responses May 23, 2010

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    The Middle Ground Between People Pleaser And Raging B****.

    If you're here, you obviously recognize that being a people pleaser can be super balls. Look, we're awesome and totally caring people, but come on - at the end of the day, we must recognize that we are treating ourselves like ****. We avoid tending to our own needs like the...
    thecrazyfinn thecrazyfinn 22-25, F 2 Responses Jun 3, 2012

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    I Am Miserable

    i am a 39 year old woman and all i have ever done for everyone is tried to suppress my desires and wants, because i though that by doing so, i would be able to please everyone around me and gain happiness that way. But it has left me feeling empty and suicidal and miserable with...
    inconsolablenumbness inconsolablenumbness 36-40, F 1 Response Aug 20, 2012

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    Saying 'no' Is So Hard...

    I can't say 'no' to peoples' requests for help.. even if I do not like to do sometimes.  it sometimes gives me a feeling that I am being too stupid. coz some people makes use of it everytime! they think as if "break the glass in case of emergency". nd they...
    ColorMyWorld ColorMyWorld 19-21, F 2 Responses Apr 4, 2007

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    Emily The Great!

    there was just this point of my life when i used to identify wyself with Emily dickenson. I just felt so much like her that nobody understands me,always frustrated,like to be alone,feels like people i love don't love me back........ especially when we read her poem in class "the...
    samy666 samy666 18-21, F Mar 27, 2013

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    Why Do I Keep On Doing It?

    Pleasing people. All my life, I feel like. Making people around me happy. Yet suffering on the inside. Making sure others are taken care of before myself. Painful. Sometimes those whom I help or please are not even thankful. But I keep doing it. Why?
    jiggstrixie92 jiggstrixie92 51-55, F 7 Responses Jun 20, 2011

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    My Real Answer

    I got asked the other day "Why are you such a people pleaser?" My answer to that was short, a simple "i don't know, I just am". But my real answer is far from a simple i don't know. My real answer is, because i live for no other reason but that one. I have given up on myself. I...
    Livingyetlifeless Livingyetlifeless 16-17, F 2 Responses Aug 6, 2012

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    Yeap that's me, well sorta.

    I'm a pushover sometimes and I'll help you do things, but I'm not your *****
    Angelyn2097 Angelyn2097 18-21, F 4 Responses Apr 7

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    Actually a Reformed People Pleaser - Thank God - It's Exhausting!

    I could seriously write a book on this one.  This past year I have been on depression med's due largely in part to my people pleasing obsession my whole life.  To the point that a yr & a half ago I had a break down (in Be Jing, China's airport of all places) because...
    StrawberryBlonde StrawberryBlonde 46-50, F 1 Response Dec 2, 2006

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    I am a peaceful person by nature.

    I absolutely hate dramas and arguments. I try to keep the environment around me very positive and friendly. I have been labeled as " fake" or " manipulative" because people are so used to selfishness they can't easily digest that there are still few good people out there who...
    Susana1985 Susana1985 26-30, F 2 Responses Mar 8

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    By Nature

    I know it strange that a misanthropist is a people pleaser and I'm not sure where it comes from . I just notice that naturally I tend to put others' feelings or wants above my own , even total strangers .Luckily I have loved ones that pull me up on it as sometimes I don't even...
    certifiable certifiable 70+, F 3 Responses Mar 25, 2013

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    Yeah...

    I shouldn't be, but I am. It's fortunately not to the point to where I would go against my morals, but it is a little bad. It gets stressful. I get upset when I upset people and I usually just do whatever other people want as long as it does not go as far as going against my...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses May 12, 2012

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    Used To Be

    I hate to admit it but I used to be a people pleaser and sometimes I make the same mistake. But I'm learning. I've been taken advatantage of and often used and ultimately hurt by people I thought I could make like me. Nowadays I am a bit wiser in that area and I'm no longer so...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Jan 5, 2013

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    There'S No Better High

    When I began high school I was thrown into a crazy, brand-new environment full of people I'd never met before. And I came to realize over the course of the next couple years that I love making other people happy. Whether it's baking for someone or cheering someone up when they're...
    Katsumi33 Katsumi33 18-21, F Oct 16, 2013

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    I'm not so much anymore.

    My "give a crap" meter just broke a little bit about three months ago when I realized that my situation isn't going to improve with all these people in the house, and they don't want to listen to what I have to say about things. I realize that I'm still at work for a reason...
    AlwaysPersevere71 AlwaysPersevere71 41-45, M 1 Response Apr 24

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    Magnifying Lens

    In the journey of self-discovery, we come across many facets in our lives that we have grown accustomed to, a habit that in the course of time is how we have been defined. Not realizing within ourselves whether such habits are what we want, whether such manner is good for us, or...
    Sylphy Sylphy 41-45, F 6 Responses Mar 17, 2012

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    Unused to be but have

    since gotten over it for the most part.
    persononinternet persononinternet 16-17, M Jan 11

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    I'm starting to feel it might be a bad thing.

    I've always been like this as a way of keeping those around me HAPPY and CONTENT. It's also done it to try to fit in and have friends. I've went along with others and not told them what I really think, as my way of being NICE, KIND, and CARING. I'm starting to think it may not...
    DarkwingGoslyn DarkwingGoslyn 31-35 1 Response Aug 13

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    Is It Too Much to Ask....

    I used to think that my being such a people pleaser made me a good person.  I've come to realize that it really just makes me a fool!  The more you do to please most people, the more they use you and take you for granted.  I've seen it time and again in every area...
    doglady doglady 51-55, F 9 Responses Mar 29, 2008

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    I have yet to find out

    whether its a good habit or a bad one, but people who take advantage of one's people pleasing nature, they are actually being bad. Its like they know 'people pleasers' actually cant turn off the "Yes" button, and in the end Pleasers pay a high price. : (
    hiddentears hiddentears 22-25, F 1 Response Jul 17

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    Well part of it is upbringing!

    I was brought up by a a narcissist mother and an egocentric father! Their needs always came above their children! For example, my mother would never let us experience our own feelings. We had to feel (and still do) feel exactly what she is feeling at the exact same moment...
    lagatta lagatta 41-45, F 2 Responses Apr 14

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    I want everyone to be okay with everything.

    I dislike confrontations. So it seems like my days are controlled by someone else, and I don't get to do what I want with my time.
    SquishyQueen SquishyQueen 22-25, F 1 Response Dec 26, 2013

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    It's My Job

    Most people know by now I am a nurse at a family practice doctor's oofice. (And apparently I can't spell office, but I can spell cholecystitis-inflamed gall bladder. Actually I was too lazy to delete and correct the mis-spelling, so left this longer explanation!) Anyways... there...
    emerald emerald 36-40, F 5 Responses Oct 9, 2013

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    Letting People Controll My Life.

    I have always done what anybody has told me to do, always feeling like this is not my life or why am I so unhappy. I am at the point now where I dont know what I actually like and whats me people pleasing again. I have a horrible time saying no and if I do say no I feel very...
    penn3798 penn3798 41-45, M Aug 31, 2012

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    Should I Continue To Fake My Personality?

    Ok so before the age of 16 I'm a shy girl, with low self esteem and I only stay within my clique which is a group of good girls(obedient teenagers?) and I'm afraid of talking to guys, and nvr had a guy friend.. After the age of 16 I find it if I act to be someone else I can have...
    ice2bear ice2bear 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 14, 2013

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    Testimony

      My name is Cecilia and i live in United State it is my pleasure to tell you this testimony. I am 40 years old and I was desperately in need of husband and non of the men or guys out there would have me out, I met a lady in a bus and as will where discussing she asked of...
    Cecilia39 Cecilia39 41-45, F Oct 28, 2012

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    Its no wonder, really,

    that I stayed in a lifeless marriage for years longer than most other people would have. Nothing was more important that a need for validation, even if I knew it rang hollow, and I wasn't getting the 'reward' I truly wanted. But I finally did end it. Now I sit alone in an...
    irishdrunkard irishdrunkard 36-40, M 2 Responses Jun 5

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    Used To Be

    I am tired of kissing *** and being overly nice if people can't handle that I am deciding to become a ***** and I am not going to let people walk all over me and **** on me anymore then tough ****.What is the point in being a people pleaser you cannot please everyone so why do...
    deleted deleted 26-30 14 Responses Oct 24, 2012

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    Content In A Relationship

    I don't feel content in a relationship unless I am helping the other person ....it could be in either a friendship or a relationship...with this type of pattern in a relationship I will never have a healthy one...need help
    lasheadilemma lasheadilemma 31-35, F Jul 16, 2012

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    Yup

    I am. I always work around other people's schedules. If something works better for them, I'll do my darndest so that it'll work out. Everyone else's needs come before mine. I hate getting yelled out when I displease someone with actions that could have been avoided. I like people...
    DemonVampire180 DemonVampire180 18-21, F Apr 10, 2012

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    I Found This Website

    http://www.alchemy4thesoul.com/personal-development/how-avoid-peoplepleasing-trap
    ice2bear ice2bear 18-21, F Mar 4, 2013

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    I am always here and I give you all of me,

    but sometimes I am overlooked with no reasons....
    kittyluv78 kittyluv78 36-40, F 3 Responses Mar 30

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    I Think That's My Problem

    I'm not good on making friends and I think that's why I try to please everyone.  I don't speak up about the way I feel or what's on my mind because I'm afraid that I'll have people get mad at me and not have anything to do with me.  Sometimes when people ask me if I want to go...
    tngurl25 tngurl25 26-30, F 4 Responses Jul 26, 2011

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    People Pleaser

    In general, I like people around me to feel good and be happy.  I think because while growing up, there was so much conflict in my life.  Who doesn't come from a dysfunctional family though...  Regardless, I think as I age that I become more comfortable with myself...
    bomber bomber 41-45, F Nov 28, 2006

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    Not Convinced Its A Good Thing?

    Ok so yes I am a people pleaser and I am not convinced its a good thing. I can't seem to help myself, so lately I have so much that I want to get done but just when I manage to get something done another five things seem to appear or five people want to be helped with something...
    NewDay NewDay 31-35, F 5 Responses Nov 26, 2012

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    Related Experiences

    I totally hate them!!! They instantly change their personalities into a different one just to jive in with those that are considered by majority as "popular". They are so trying...
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    10 things I don't need in a friend. This is for those people who thinks that I am just dumb and easy to be bullied. Even though you call me your “friend”. BUT actually, no...
    YesIAmACat YesIAmACat 16-17 1 Response Sep 23

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    We are all born to love people and use things but unfortunately we grow to love things and use people.....
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    Yup. I think if you can't support them you shouldn't have kids. And if you do drugs then no you shouldn't have kids. If you can't be a responsible parent then no. I know people who...
    AzureTiger AzureTiger 18-21, F 2 Responses 4 hrs ago

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    So "Sanariah" who use to be a 16-17 female and changed her/his name and is now a 18-21 make is calling me a fake. He/she got mad because I told her that her lack of messaging will...
    akaShaun akaShaun 16-17, M 4 Responses 4 hrs ago

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    Helping other people honestly helps me. Gives me a sense of purpose, Hopefully that didn't sound too self-gratifying because it wasn't intended to.
    movingwoman movingwoman 13-15, F 4 hrs ago

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    I wish people cared about me instead of just walking out on me like i'm nothing
    ivvywolf ivvywolf 13-15, F 1 Response 1 hr ago

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    It breaks my heart to see some scum who have kids and couldn't care less about them when there are some amazing people who physically can't have kids but would be amazing parents.
    thefurthestthing thefurthestthing 18-21, F 40 mins ago

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    I'm sick of people who put down others to feel better about themselves. I'm sick of people who seem to make it their life's purpose to make other lives more difficult. I'm sick of...
    dontknowmylife dontknowmylife 18-21, M Oct 2

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    Oxfam: 85 richest people as wealthy as poorest half of the world As World Economic Forum starts in Davos, development charity claims growing inequality has been driven by 'power...
    sogdianrock sogdianrock 51-55, M 2 Responses Oct 2

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    It amazes me that more people in the world don't hate people, or at least don't understand people who hate people. Everyone treats everyone so horribly. Growing up, I had to deal...
    chickiebos chickiebos 31-35, F 1 day ago

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    I just seem to have people talk to me to vent about their problems. It's not that I don't mind, for I don't, but I am starting to realize that is the bases of most of the...
    heylookineededanameok heylookineededanameok 22-25, M 2 Responses Sep 25

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    I have always tried to see the good in people but sometimes I wonder. I'm a very kind and caring individual. I was blessed with empathy and morals, which unfortunately many people...
    Morenita79 Morenita79 31-35, F 2 Responses