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I Am a People Pleaser

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,086 People

    My Real Answer

    I got asked the other day "Why are you such a people pleaser?" My answer to that was short, a simple "i don't know, I just am". But my real answer is far from a simple i don't know. My real answer is, because i live for no other reason but that one. I have given up on myself. I...
    Livingyetlifeless Livingyetlifeless 16-17, F 2 Responses Aug 6, 2012

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    A Short Story In Exactly 100 Words.....Hope You Get The Ending :)

                                                Fertile Ground “Eat your spinach Jack.” He fretted, tears watered his six year old choirboy face. “So I can get big and strong like Daddy?” Construction worker Daddy, repeatedly left...
    thedude66 thedude66 41-45, M 1 Response Mar 31, 2013

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    Will They Like Me?

    im  a people pleaser who is afraid to speak her mind in case people dont like me or it. especially my mom, i always need her approval. i'm a grown adult with children, and i can't get over worrying about what other people think, i afraid i'm going to say the wrong thing and...
    prettyinpink prettyinpink 46-50, F 2 Responses Apr 2, 2007

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    I Am Miserable

    i am a 39 year old woman and all i have ever done for everyone is tried to suppress my desires and wants, because i though that by doing so, i would be able to please everyone around me and gain happiness that way. But it has left me feeling empty and suicidal and miserable with...
    inconsolablenumbness inconsolablenumbness 36-40, F 1 Response Aug 20, 2012

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    Used To Be

    I am tired of kissing *** and being overly nice if people can't handle that I am deciding to become a ***** and I am not going to let people walk all over me and **** on me anymore then tough ****.What is the point in being a people pleaser you cannot please everyone so why do...
    deleted deleted 26-30 14 Responses Oct 24, 2012

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    Magnifying Lens

    In the journey of self-discovery, we come across many facets in our lives that we have grown accustomed to, a habit that in the course of time is how we have been defined. Not realizing within ourselves whether such habits are what we want, whether such manner is good for us, or...
    Sylphy Sylphy 41-45, F 7 Responses Mar 17, 2012

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    I am a peaceful person by nature.

    I absolutely hate dramas and arguments. I try to keep the environment around me very positive and friendly. I have been labeled as " fake" or " manipulative" because people are so used to selfishness they can't easily digest that there are still few good people out there who...
    Susana1985 Susana1985 26-30, F 1 Response Mar 8

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    It's My Job

    Most people know by now I am a nurse at a family practice doctor's oofice. (And apparently I can't spell office, but I can spell cholecystitis-inflamed gall bladder. Actually I was too lazy to delete and correct the mis-spelling, so left this longer explanation!) Anyways... there...
    emerald emerald 36-40, F 5 Responses Oct 9, 2013

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    I Guess In a Big Way, I Really...

    I guess in a big way, I really am.  Id like to change that about myself.  I mean, where I'd be less of a People Pleaser.
    silvermystics silvermystics 51-55, F 2 Responses Jun 12, 2007

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    Yeah...

    I shouldn't be, but I am. It's fortunately not to the point to where I would go against my morals, but it is a little bad. It gets stressful. I get upset when I upset people and I usually just do whatever other people want as long as it does not go as far as going against my...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses May 12, 2012

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    Actually a Reformed People Pleaser - Thank God - It's Exhausting!

    I could seriously write a book on this one.  This past year I have been on depression med's due largely in part to my people pleasing obsession my whole life.  To the point that a yr & a half ago I had a break down (in Be Jing, China's airport of all places) because...
    StrawberryBlonde StrawberryBlonde 46-50, F 1 Response Dec 2, 2006

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    Why Do I Keep On Doing It?

    Pleasing people. All my life, I feel like. Making people around me happy. Yet suffering on the inside. Making sure others are taken care of before myself. Painful. Sometimes those whom I help or please are not even thankful. But I keep doing it. Why?
    jiggstrixie92 jiggstrixie92 51-55, F 7 Responses Jun 20, 2011

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    Saying 'no' Is So Hard...

    I can't say 'no' to peoples' requests for help.. even if I do not like to do sometimes.  it sometimes gives me a feeling that I am being too stupid. coz some people makes use of it everytime! they think as if "break the glass in case of emergency". nd they...
    ColorMyWorld ColorMyWorld 19-21, F 2 Responses Apr 4, 2007

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    An Amazing Self-help Book

    Hi, I just wanted to share that I am also a people pleaser. It causes me a lot of anxiety. I feel I do not have any friends because I don't know how to relate properly. I also have trouble saying no, and with every relationship there is compromise, and I feel I always have to...
    CarliB CarliB 26-30 2 Responses Nov 26, 2011

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    Content In A Relationship

    I don't feel content in a relationship unless I am helping the other person ....it could be in either a friendship or a relationship...with this type of pattern in a relationship I will never have a healthy one...need help
    lasheadilemma lasheadilemma 31-35, F Jul 16, 2012

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    Used To Be

    I hate to admit it but I used to be a people pleaser and sometimes I make the same mistake. But I'm learning. I've been taken advatantage of and often used and ultimately hurt by people I thought I could make like me. Nowadays I am a bit wiser in that area and I'm no longer so...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Jan 5, 2013

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    I Just Had An Epiphany

    I'm a people pleaser and now I know why. Looking back on my life, it appears to stem from constantly failing at things due to living with undiagnosed ADD for much of my life. Being an only child with a very strict religious father who I fear to disappoint and the social blunders...
    shelteredlife shelteredlife 22-25, M Apr 17, 2013

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    Yup

    I am. I always work around other people's schedules. If something works better for them, I'll do my darndest so that it'll work out. Everyone else's needs come before mine. I hate getting yelled out when I displease someone with actions that could have been avoided. I like people...
    DemonVampire180 DemonVampire180 18-21, F Apr 10, 2012

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    Testimony

      My name is Cecilia and i live in United State it is my pleasure to tell you this testimony. I am 40 years old and I was desperately in need of husband and non of the men or guys out there would have me out, I met a lady in a bus and as will where discussing she asked of...
    Cecilia39 Cecilia39 41-45, F Oct 28, 2012

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    I Have Spent My Whole Life As A Pp

    giving every MF around what they wanted and bugger what I need ... that is why I am an old maid.... never been married never had children, never been in love, never had a career.... a failure at everything.... I have let people walk over me....
    czaristacrystals czaristacrystals 36-40, F 2 Responses Aug 4, 2011

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    Not Convinced Its A Good Thing?

    Ok so yes I am a people pleaser and I am not convinced its a good thing. I can't seem to help myself, so lately I have so much that I want to get done but just when I manage to get something done another five things seem to appear or five people want to be helped with something...
    NewDay NewDay 31-35, F 5 Responses Nov 26, 2012

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    I Found This Website

    http://www.alchemy4thesoul.com/personal-development/how-avoid-peoplepleasing-trap
    ice2bear ice2bear 18-21, F Mar 4, 2013

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    Yeap that's me, well sorta.

    I'm a pushover sometimes and I'll help you do things, but I'm not your *****
    Angelyn2097 Angelyn2097 16-17, F 3 Responses Apr 7

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    Well part of it is upbringing!

    I was brought up by a a narcissist mother and an egocentric father! Their needs always came above their children! For example, my mother would never let us experience our own feelings. We had to feel (and still do) feel exactly what she is feeling at the exact same moment...
    lagatta lagatta 41-45, F 1 Response 6 days ago

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    Letting People Controll My Life.

    I have always done what anybody has told me to do, always feeling like this is not my life or why am I so unhappy. I am at the point now where I dont know what I actually like and whats me people pleasing again. I have a horrible time saying no and if I do say no I feel very...
    penn3798 penn3798 41-45, M Aug 31, 2012

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    I want everyone to be okay with everything.

    I dislike confrontations. So it seems like my days are controlled by someone else, and I don't get to do what I want with my time.
    SquishyQueen SquishyQueen 22-25, F 1 Response Dec 26, 2013

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    Should I Continue To Fake My Personality?

    Ok so before the age of 16 I'm a shy girl, with low self esteem and I only stay within my clique which is a group of good girls(obedient teenagers?) and I'm afraid of talking to guys, and nvr had a guy friend.. After the age of 16 I find it if I act to be someone else I can have...
    ice2bear ice2bear 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 14, 2013

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    I Think That's My Problem

    I'm not good on making friends and I think that's why I try to please everyone.  I don't speak up about the way I feel or what's on my mind because I'm afraid that I'll have people get mad at me and not have anything to do with me.  Sometimes when people ask me if I want to go...
    tngurl25 tngurl25 26-30, F 4 Responses Jul 26, 2011

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    Im Learning Not To Be

    My parents divorced when I was three, my mom was very young and moved on with her life. I was left to live with my dad and my grandmother. No one in my family ever talked about my mom and there were only a few pictures, I would ask my dad but he would never talk about it. So...
    TheOneWhoWaits TheOneWhoWaits 46-50, F 1 Response Aug 10, 2011

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    People Pleaser

    In general, I like people around me to feel good and be happy.  I think because while growing up, there was so much conflict in my life.  Who doesn't come from a dysfunctional family though...  Regardless, I think as I age that I become more comfortable with myself...
    bomber bomber 41-45, F Nov 28, 2006

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    There'S No Better High

    When I began high school I was thrown into a crazy, brand-new environment full of people I'd never met before. And I came to realize over the course of the next couple years that I love making other people happy. Whether it's baking for someone or cheering someone up when they're...
    Katsumi33 Katsumi33 16-17, F Oct 16, 2013

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    Is It Too Much to Ask....

    I used to think that my being such a people pleaser made me a good person.  I've come to realize that it really just makes me a fool!  The more you do to please most people, the more they use you and take you for granted.  I've seen it time and again in every area...
    doglady doglady 51-55, F 9 Responses Mar 29, 2008

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    I always try to make everyone like me I watch

    them and see what they like to do I could bring it up in conversation. I look people directly into their eyes when they talk I look deep and they enjoy it because I'm into the story.this sounds selfish but when I smile others smile and that makes me happy. I love when people...
    nana33017 nana33017 13-15, F 2 Responses Mar 13

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    I am always here and I give you all of me,

    but sometimes I am overlooked with no reasons....
    kittyluv78 kittyluv78 31-35, F 3 Responses Mar 30

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    Unused to be but have

    since gotten over it for the most part.
    persononinternet persononinternet 16-17, M Jan 11

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    Where And Why Did It Begin

    Hi all, I think we people pleasers are just simply nice people in a not so nice world. As a people pleaser I have suffered the whip lash effect of being a people pleaser. Does this also happen to you? You are the one trying to please everyone but at the end of the day you are...
    iyyphpr5er iyyphpr5er 46-50 4 Responses May 23, 2010

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    The Middle Ground Between People Pleaser And Raging B****.

    If you're here, you obviously recognize that being a people pleaser can be super balls. Look, we're awesome and totally caring people, but come on - at the end of the day, we must recognize that we are treating ourselves like ****. We avoid tending to our own needs like the...
    thecrazyfinn thecrazyfinn 22-25, F 1 Response Jun 3, 2012

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    Content People Make Me Feel Good

    I like to be around people who need something I can give them. If you're hungry I love to feed you. If you are unhappy or sad, I'll give you an ear and a shoulder to cry on. If you want someone to help paint your house, I'm your girl. I'm not much of a joiner (clubs or...
    some2soon some2soon 41-45, F 3 Responses Jul 12, 2012

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    If I'm Good Enough For You- I Should Be Good Enough For Me!!!

    In all aspects of my life I go out of my way and beyond to ensure those I care about are happy and that I am able to please them. Often feeling like a failure to myself I'm very fearful of letting others down or saying no because I can't handle the thought of rejection or being...
    nevaeh5683 nevaeh5683 26-30, F Mar 9, 2012

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    I Used to Work At Starbucks. ...

    I used to work at Starbucks. So even if I wasn't before, I am now. It was my job, and now it comes naturally.
    snokat snokat 18-21, F Jun 11, 2007

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    Related Experiences

    Hi all, I'm an 18 year old uni student in Australia, I've only just discovered this little den and would love to meet people for a chat, share interests and what have you. As...
    Cobb3r Cobb3r 18-21, M 1 Response 2 hrs ago

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    I used to listen to a lot of Jpop in middle school and the kids used to tease me a lot. Now I'm very cautious about sharing music with people. I've gotten better but still a little...
    grilledcheesegirl grilledcheesegirl 22-25, F 2 Responses 6 hrs ago

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    I hate fake people they think there perfect
    RaspberryTommyCat RaspberryTommyCat 13-15, F 2 Responses 2 hrs ago

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    I hate when people judge me even thought they don't really no me for me
    RaspberryTommyCat RaspberryTommyCat 13-15, F 2 Responses 2 hrs ago

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    I'm not sure if this is considered selfish, but I didn't know where else this list would fit. Basically, I hate people act like this: -People who make everything about them...
    Dreamer32 Dreamer32 22-25, F 1 Response Apr 6

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    Just because people are near you does not mean they are a part of your life I dont want people other people talking about me and when they consider the source it like this people...
    judp judp 46-50, M Apr 6

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    Hello guys, I hope you're all doing well. I sort of hesitated about the idea of posting my experience here but I decided to do so. I sort of think that I have been a schizoid my...
    Bloodyshrines Bloodyshrines 13-15, F 2 Responses Apr 10

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    There are all kinds of connections that you can have with people in reality- physical, spiritual, emotional, mental...each have their own merit, their own value in your life. In...
    Bellastasia Bellastasia 26-30, F 6 Responses 6 days ago

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    I don't know, like I wish people would whisper to other people as they say me and go, "Oh my god she is SO pretty!" I wish they would come up to me and tell me how gorgeous I am...
    SeanaO SeanaO 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 22

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    I'm not writing this to speak of myself ,I've done that already in my storys & confessions here I want people here to read this to know that life can change for the better...
    bob350 bob350 56-60, M 1 Response Mar 23

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    I hate lazy people. There's always one in my group assignments and group discussions. How can I have a group discussion in my tutorial classes if people don't prepare the work or...
    GoFuckYourselfBitch GoFuckYourselfBitch 70+, M Mar 24

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    Fear of coming out! It took a life time to come to the point of accepting myself. Fear controlled me. Don't make the same mistake I did. This is something that I have written on...
    Trisha60ts Trisha60ts 61-65, T 1 Response Mar 26

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    I Work At A Burger King And We Meet And See All Kinds Of Diff. People Well... Every Since I Have Started Working There I Have Gotten The Chance To Speak To Lots Of People That Don...
    MissyMay4 MissyMay4 18-21, F Mar 26

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    90% of the time, I am afraid of people. I do not allow myself to get close to a lot of people, because I am always worried about getting hurt by people. I have learned over the...
    NYSlilAngel NYSlilAngel 26-30, F 2 Responses Mar 27

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    Everyone is adamant that people care more about what the heart has to offer rather than appearance, but the reality is, people DO judge us and people DO judge us based on our...
    MissMisunderstood1 MissMisunderstood1 16-17, F 5 Responses Mar 29

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