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I Am a People Pleaser

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,266 People

    Testimony

      My name is Cecilia and i live in United State it is my pleasure to tell you this testimony. I am 40 years old and I was desperately in need of husband and non of the men or guys out there would have me out, I met a lady in a bus and as will where discussing she asked of...
    Cecilia39 Cecilia39 41-45, F Oct 28, 2012

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    Well part of it is upbringing!

    I was brought up by a a narcissist mother and an egocentric father! Their needs always came above their children! For example, my mother would never let us experience our own feelings. We had to feel (and still do) feel exactly what she is feeling at the exact same moment...
    lagatta lagatta 41-45, F 4 Responses Apr 14, 2014

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    Is It Too Much to Ask....

    I used to think that my being such a people pleaser made me a good person.  I've come to realize that it really just makes me a fool!  The more you do to please most people, the more they use you and take you for granted.  I've seen it time and again in every area...
    doglady doglady 51-55, F 10 Responses Mar 29, 2008

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    Letting People Controll My Life.

    I have always done what anybody has told me to do, always feeling like this is not my life or why am I so unhappy. I am at the point now where I dont know what I actually like and whats me people pleasing again. I have a horrible time saying no and if I do say no I feel very...
    penn3798 penn3798 41-45, M Aug 31, 2012

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    An Amazing Self-help Book

    Hi, I just wanted to share that I am also a people pleaser. It causes me a lot of anxiety. I feel I do not have any friends because I don't know how to relate properly. I also have trouble saying no, and with every relationship there is compromise, and I feel I always have to...
    CarliB CarliB 26-30 2 Responses Nov 26, 2011

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    Content In A Relationship

    I don't feel content in a relationship unless I am helping the other person ....it could be in either a friendship or a relationship...with this type of pattern in a relationship I will never have a healthy one...need help
    lasheadilemma lasheadilemma 31-35, F 1 Response Jul 16, 2012

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    Magnifying Lens

    In the journey of self-discovery, we come across many facets in our lives that we have grown accustomed to, a habit that in the course of time is how we have been defined. Not realizing within ourselves whether such habits are what we want, whether such manner is good for us, or...
    Sylphy Sylphy 41-45, F 5 Responses Mar 17, 2012

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    I Think That's My Problem

    I'm not good on making friends and I think that's why I try to please everyone.  I don't speak up about the way I feel or what's on my mind because I'm afraid that I'll have people get mad at me and not have anything to do with me.  Sometimes when people ask me if I want to go...
    tngurl25 tngurl25 26-30, F 5 Responses Jul 26, 2011

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    Used To Be

    I hate to admit it but I used to be a people pleaser and sometimes I make the same mistake. But I'm learning. I've been taken advatantage of and often used and ultimately hurt by people I thought I could make like me. Nowadays I am a bit wiser in that area and I'm no longer so...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Jan 5, 2013

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    My Real Answer

    I got asked the other day "Why are you such a people pleaser?" My answer to that was short, a simple "i don't know, I just am". But my real answer is far from a simple i don't know. My real answer is, because i live for no other reason but that one. I have given up on myself. I...
    Livingyetlifeless Livingyetlifeless 16-17, F 3 Responses Aug 6, 2012

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    I am people pleaser.I always do what they want

    to make them happy but yet im miserable inside. I seek God but I guess i'm a disappointment to him. What I want to do I don't and what I want to do I can't. I dont write here much cause ppl are judgemental. I judge no no one cause i'm in no better state. I can relate more to...
    sufferin4life sufferin4life 41-45, M 1 Response May 23

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    Unused to be but have

    since gotten over it for the most part.
    persononinternet persononinternet 18-21, M Jan 11, 2014

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    I have yet to find out

    whether its a good habit or a bad one, but people who take advantage of one's people pleasing nature, they are actually being bad. Its like they know 'people pleasers' actually cant turn off the "Yes" button, and in the end Pleasers pay a high price. : (
    hiddentears hiddentears 26-30, F 3 Responses Jul 17, 2014

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    Used To Be

    I am tired of kissing *** and being overly nice if people can't handle that I am deciding to become a ***** and I am not going to let people walk all over me and **** on me anymore then tough ****.What is the point in being a people pleaser you cannot please everyone so why do...
    deleted deleted 26-30 12 Responses Oct 24, 2012

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    I can help it. I want everyone to like me.

    I guess it's because my father left me at a young age. I always thought I had done something wrong. I've been trying to make people like me so they won't leave me too. I guess you could say that I'm pretty pathetic.
    BabyGirlCleo BabyGirlCleo 18-21, F 4 Responses Feb 15

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    If I'm Good Enough For You- I Should Be Good Enough For Me!!!

    In all aspects of my life I go out of my way and beyond to ensure those I care about are happy and that I am able to please them. Often feeling like a failure to myself I'm very fearful of letting others down or saying no because I can't handle the thought of rejection or being...
    nevaeh5683 nevaeh5683 26-30, F Mar 9, 2012

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    Saying 'no' Is So Hard...

    I can't say 'no' to peoples' requests for help.. even if I do not like to do sometimes.  it sometimes gives me a feeling that I am being too stupid. coz some people makes use of it everytime! they think as if "break the glass in case of emergency". nd they...
    ColorMyWorld ColorMyWorld 18-21, F 2 Responses Apr 4, 2007

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    I want everyone to be okay with everything.

    I dislike confrontations. So it seems like my days are controlled by someone else, and I don't get to do what I want with my time.
    SquishyQueen SquishyQueen 22-25, F 1 Response Dec 26, 2013

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    This can be good and bad at the same time.

    No matter how many times I get used. I never learn. I'm just a pleaser by nature.
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Feb 10

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    Should I Continue To Fake My Personality?

    Ok so before the age of 16 I'm a shy girl, with low self esteem and I only stay within my clique which is a group of good girls(obedient teenagers?) and I'm afraid of talking to guys, and nvr had a guy friend.. After the age of 16 I find it if I act to be someone else I can have...
    ice2bear ice2bear 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 14, 2013

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    Not Convinced Its A Good Thing?

    Ok so yes I am a people pleaser and I am not convinced its a good thing. I can't seem to help myself, so lately I have so much that I want to get done but just when I manage to get something done another five things seem to appear or five people want to be helped with something...
    NewDay NewDay 31-35, F 6 Responses Nov 26, 2012

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    Yeap that's me, well sorta.

    I'm a pushover sometimes and I'll help you do things, but I'm not your *****
    Angelyn2097 Angelyn2097 18-21, F 5 Responses Apr 7, 2014

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    I am a peaceful person by nature.

    I absolutely hate dramas and arguments. I try to keep the environment around me very positive and friendly. I have been labeled as " fake" or " manipulative" because people are so used to selfishness they can't easily digest that there are still few good people out there who...
    Susana1985 Susana1985 26-30, F 2 Responses Mar 8, 2014

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    The Middle Ground Between People Pleaser And Raging B****.

    If you're here, you obviously recognize that being a people pleaser can be super balls. Look, we're awesome and totally caring people, but come on - at the end of the day, we must recognize that we are treating ourselves like ****. We avoid tending to our own needs like the...
    thecrazyfinn thecrazyfinn 22-25, F 2 Responses Jun 3, 2012

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    Where And Why Did It Begin

    Hi all, I think we people pleasers are just simply nice people in a not so nice world. As a people pleaser I have suffered the whip lash effect of being a people pleaser. Does this also happen to you? You are the one trying to please everyone but at the end of the day you are...
    iyyphpr5er iyyphpr5er 46-50 6 Responses May 23, 2010

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    People Pleaser

    In general, I like people around me to feel good and be happy.  I think because while growing up, there was so much conflict in my life.  Who doesn't come from a dysfunctional family though...  Regardless, I think as I age that I become more comfortable with myself...
    bomber bomber 41-45, F 2 Responses Nov 28, 2006

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    There'S No Better High

    When I began high school I was thrown into a crazy, brand-new environment full of people I'd never met before. And I came to realize over the course of the next couple years that I love making other people happy. Whether it's baking for someone or cheering someone up when they're...
    Katsumi33 Katsumi33 18-21, F Oct 16, 2013

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    I am always here and I give you all of me,

    but sometimes I am overlooked with no reasons....
    kittyluv78 kittyluv78 36-40, F 4 Responses Mar 30, 2014

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    Its no wonder, really,

    that I stayed in a lifeless marriage for years longer than most other people would have. Nothing was more important that a need for validation, even if I knew it rang hollow, and I wasn't getting the 'reward' I truly wanted. But I finally did end it. Now I sit alone in an...
    irishdrunkard irishdrunkard 36-40, M 2 Responses Jun 5, 2014

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    Why Do I Keep On Doing It?

    Pleasing people. All my life, I feel like. Making people around me happy. Yet suffering on the inside. Making sure others are taken care of before myself. Painful. Sometimes those whom I help or please are not even thankful. But I keep doing it. Why?
    jiggstrixie92 jiggstrixie92 51-55, F 8 Responses Jun 20, 2011

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    By Nature

    I know it strange that a misanthropist is a people pleaser and I'm not sure where it comes from . I just notice that naturally I tend to put others' feelings or wants above my own , even total strangers .Luckily I have loved ones that pull me up on it as sometimes I don't even...
    certifiable certifiable 70+, F 4 Responses Mar 25, 2013

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    Yeah...

    I shouldn't be, but I am. It's fortunately not to the point to where I would go against my morals, but it is a little bad. It gets stressful. I get upset when I upset people and I usually just do whatever other people want as long as it does not go as far as going against my...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses May 12, 2012

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    Emily The Great!

    there was just this point of my life when i used to identify wyself with Emily dickenson. I just felt so much like her that nobody understands me,always frustrated,like to be alone,feels like people i love don't love me back........ especially when we read her poem in class "the...
    samy666 samy666 18-21, F Mar 27, 2013

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    I Am Miserable

    i am a 39 year old woman and all i have ever done for everyone is tried to suppress my desires and wants, because i though that by doing so, i would be able to please everyone around me and gain happiness that way. But it has left me feeling empty and suicidal and miserable with...
    inconsolablenumbness inconsolablenumbness 36-40, F 2 Responses Aug 20, 2012

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    I'm not so much anymore.

    My "give a crap" meter just broke a little bit about three months ago when I realized that my situation isn't going to improve with all these people in the house, and they don't want to listen to what I have to say about things. I realize that I'm still at work for a reason...
    AlwaysPersevere71 AlwaysPersevere71 41-45, M 1 Response Apr 24, 2014

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    Content People Make Me Feel Good

    I like to be around people who need something I can give them. If you're hungry I love to feed you. If you are unhappy or sad, I'll give you an ear and a shoulder to cry on. If you want someone to help paint your house, I'm your girl. I'm not much of a joiner (clubs or...
    some2soon some2soon 41-45, F 4 Responses Jul 12, 2012

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    Yup

    I am. I always work around other people's schedules. If something works better for them, I'll do my darndest so that it'll work out. Everyone else's needs come before mine. I hate getting yelled out when I displease someone with actions that could have been avoided. I like people...
    DemonVampire180 DemonVampire180 18-21, F Apr 10, 2012

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    It's My Job

    Most people know by now I am a nurse at a family practice doctor's oofice. (And apparently I can't spell office, but I can spell cholecystitis-inflamed gall bladder. Actually I was too lazy to delete and correct the mis-spelling, so left this longer explanation!) Anyways... there...
    emerald emerald 36-40, F 5 Responses Oct 9, 2013

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    Actually a Reformed People Pleaser - Thank God - It's Exhausting!

    I could seriously write a book on this one.  This past year I have been on depression med's due largely in part to my people pleasing obsession my whole life.  To the point that a yr & a half ago I had a break down (in Be Jing, China's airport of all places) because...
    StrawberryBlonde StrawberryBlonde 46-50, F 2 Responses Dec 2, 2006

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    I Found This Website

    http://www.alchemy4thesoul.com/personal-development/how-avoid-peoplepleasing-trap
    ice2bear ice2bear 18-21, F Mar 4, 2013

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