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I Am a Recovering Addict

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 709 People

    The Tunnel

    The darkest part of recovery, is feeling desperately alone. You don't know it in the beginning, but it's the loneliest time of your life. I refer to it as the tunnel. It's lonlier than the drugs, it's darker than the lies, and the deciet, and the countless coverups..and you're...
    StainedHands StainedHands 22-25, F 6 Responses Apr 14, 2013

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    Prescription Pills

    I'd been an alcoholic since 2007, when I got mixed up with the wrong kids in high school. I was sneaking out to drink and get high almost every night throughout high school. In 2010 I lost 3 friends because of drugs and alcohol. My doctor prescribed me some anti-anxiety...
    genevieve144 genevieve144 22-25, F 1 Response Dec 1, 2013

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    It Been 20 Mos.

    I quit drinking ,smoking, over sugar, cheating. For my partner. So I could take care of her. It's been good . I was a severe black out alcoholic and was about to get diabeities. I was220 5'5. Still having memory problems. But I weigh 155 I and not so tiered. Was getting a better...
    Faithinyoumy1 Faithinyoumy1 31-35 5 Responses Nov 8, 2013

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    I spent too much time on pills the past months.

    One night I was ****** up on pills and said something mean to a great friend. Now he will not speak to me. I completely understand his anger and hurt. I just miss him so bad. I've apologized so much and I am now on a path to sobriety. It's just hard because I want to get him...
    egradyy egradyy 22-25, F Jun 22

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    1 Year Down

    I've told exactly on person about this, but felt the need to put it out there tonight. I quit approximately 1 year ago. I was addicted to opiates (pain pills) and had been for awhile. It cost me my job, a wife, and everything in between. My addiction came on gradual (as most do...
    amodelcitizen amodelcitizen 36-40, M 4 Responses Dec 14, 2012

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    Its been about 6 or 7 weeks clean now.

    Relapsed a little and still am but not as much as i expected. I even stopped my meds which i regret because now i have stopped everything in my life and sleep all day. Not sure what to do but will continue to stay clean as long as i can.
    patches1999 patches1999 13-15, F Jul 29

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    I was twelve the first time I tried pills.

    Some boy at school offered them to me and I was curious. I took them and it felt great. I had always been the good girl and I got teased for being so innocent. Doing pills made me feel grown up. It was exciting. So I bought some more and tried two that time. I got really sick...
    emj1349 emj1349 18-21, F 4 Responses Feb 25

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    I Was Shooting Up In the End!

    I HAD BEEN A DRUG ADDICT FOR 20 SOME YEARS...... AND IN THE END OF MY ADDICTION I HAD GOTTEN SO BAD IN THE END I DID THE 2 THINGS I ALWAYS SAID I WOULD NEVER   DO!  SHOOT UP AND HERION...... THE SICK THING IS I WAS SHOOTING UP HERION AND CRACK AT THE SAME TIME...
    EEYORE6 EEYORE6 36-40, F 6 Responses Feb 3, 2008

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    patches1999 patches1999 13-15, F 1 Response Jul 29

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    I've been sober for two years now.

    Although most people call me a success story, especially at such a young and vulnerable age, I still crave my drug of choice (cocaine) every waking moment. I may be young, but I've lived more-- seen more, than people three times my age. And even though I've cleaned my life up a...
    breanastrang breanastrang 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 22

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    It Hit Me Real Hard Today

    I guess I'll put this story in this group because it made me remember what could have been.  At work yesterday I took a call from a hospital icu notifing a couple Drs of a death.  When they told me the time of death it was like hours passed before them notifing the...
    darlene darlene 41-45, F 5 Responses Oct 9, 2007

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    Learning To Live - Minutes At A Time

    Addiction had taken me so far down the scale that I was a broken shell of a human being. I felt so broken that I didn't even feel that there was enough left of me to be fixed. I could hardly talk, all I could feel was dispair and desperation and I couldn't even begin to fathom...
    SereneK SereneK 22-25, F 3 Responses Jul 24, 2012

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    I'm clean over a 9 months now

    but lately i been alone and depressed and I don't go to meetings anymore and i start to hear that voice which is telling me you might go back to use again I'm scared and no matter how much I try nothing changes I thought that NA is a good place where you can be accepted for who...
    frost103 frost103 22-25, M Dec 13

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    I Have Been Clean For a Month

     Yep thats right I have been clean for a month. I was in rehab for that month. But I had to leave for medical reasons. After my heath is better then I am going back to rehab. and staying there for another couple of months and hopefully stay clean the rest of my life. I can't...
    XLunaXLovegoodX XLunaXLovegoodX 22-25, F 9 Responses Jun 18, 2008

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    Alylovespuppies Alylovespuppies 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 31

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    I have been sober for over 2 years now.

    I went through about every drug you could imagine trying to find answers to my philosophical questions. Most we're answered through the hallucinogenics. I have some pretty crazy experiences with dmt and other drugs. All in all it was a bad idea but it did get me closer. Anyway...
    oldsoul12345 oldsoul12345 18-21, M Feb 19

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    'Thought It Wouldn't Happen to Me'

    I took my first alcoholic drink with my mother when I was 11,?.  When I was 15, I met my high school sweet heart...whom I (we)partied alot with friends. Drinking to blackouts was the rage then.  I remeber I got so drunk once when I was 16 that my boyfreind and a friend...
    Bubbles27 Bubbles27 26-30, F 3 Responses Sep 30, 2007

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    I have a question. I am in recovery from

    polysubstance abuse for the last 15 years. Most recently from Adderall over the last 4 years and mostly opiates and weed for those other 11 years. I am only a couple weeks clean from the Adderall and several months clean from opiates (with a few relapses but nothing recently...
    bob237 bob237 41-45 3 Responses May 12

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    Am I Doing Something Wrong? Advice Please...

    When I was thirteen, I started occasionally getting stoned, drinking, the normal teenage curiousity, and like the usual story, I was led down a bad path, I started to experiment a lot more, and care a lot less about school and family ect. I loved breaking the rules, I dropped...
    mindfuck mindfuck 18-21 2 Responses Aug 7, 2008

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    For the sake of my two young sons,

    ages 3 and 9, may the Gods help me stay the hell away from opiates.
    immortalspirit immortalspirit 31-35, M 6 Responses Jul 27

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    Jan. 22. New Energy Coming.

    Fun becomes fun, love becomes love, and life becomes worth living. And we become grateful. —Beyond Codependency (by Melody Beattie) There is a new energy, a new feeling coming into our life. We cannot base our expectations about how we will feel tomorrow, or even a few...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F 1 Response Jan 23

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    "God sees addiction as a path toward grace.

    " I copied this into my journal in May 2012, but I do not remember where I found it.
    eddiecarbone eddiecarbone 61-65, M 2 Responses Apr 28

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    Well, I messed up and relapsed yesterday.

    Gotta start from square one now. Its ok though, relapsing sometimes is part of recovery. At least I did the right thing this time, I told myself no. Being alive and not having serious brain damage is better than being dead. I did a little further reading into Methamphetamine and...
    angoscia angoscia 16-17 1 Response Jul 20

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    Started smoking cigarettes in the 7th grade.

    I guess it was just kinda accepted where i'm from and it wasn't a shock to anyone if you did it. Glad i quick a couple months ago though.
    patches1999 patches1999 13-15, F Jul 29

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    They Call Us Generation Rx...

    Sep. 7th is my day... the day things aligned and i decided being a slave to opiates was no longer going to be part of my life. Some say it's a disease others dispute whether it is or not, i personally don't know. I do know that in my path of destruction and extreme selfish...
    andrw24 andrw24 26-30, M 6 Responses Nov 18, 2011

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    I don't let anyone I meet know I used to do

    heroin... It's a secret. Hate the judgement and presumption off foolishness.
    EverydayChanges EverydayChanges 26-30, F 6 Responses Nov 18

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    20+ Yrs Of Using Drugs

    I started smoking pot in High School then I made the drinking age of 19 and drank with my friends. It became such a problem that I didn't graduate with my friends and had to come back and graduate the following year. I grew up Mormon , so I quit for 6 months and when on a mission...
    ttwilson65 ttwilson65 46-50, M 2 Responses Jul 25, 2012

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    I Really Understand Now..

    Everybody has an addiction, and most people have multiple. Human beings are all substance abusers and addicts to a fault. Pick your poison.. coke? ecstacy? sex? food? we're all hooked. and through the whole getting sober process I've really started to understand that it isn't so...
    katiekayy katiekayy 18-21, F 3 Responses Dec 7, 2009

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    I have 4 months sober today!

    :) If you're reading this and having a hard time, just keep fighting! You can do it and it's all worth it! One day at a time!
    shannonshart shannonshart 31-35, F 1 Response Feb 8

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    A Free Ride Into To Reality!

    And I've never been happier about it! I got invited to an old friends 16th birthday party and I am so excited! I am only have 52 days but life has never been better! I'm going to meet and hangout with regular kids that don't do drugs. Parents will be there but it doesn't mean we...
    Kidd12 Kidd12 16-17, F 9 Responses Oct 5, 2012

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    I've been clean a little over 13 months now.

    I'm not expecting miracles or anything but damn I thought some aspect of life would be easier, I was wrong, life's still messy I'm just sober enough to realize it now lol. I'm thankful, I really am. I'm glad to be sober and not waking up everyday ****** up and sick. I'm grateful...
    shannonshart shannonshart 31-35, F 1 Response Nov 18

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    Everchanging

    I am a 27 year old female with 4 children. I have been clean almost eleven months now. I started using when I was nine. The first time I went to treatment I was twelve. My mother was always wanting to send me to treatment and she did 7 times. I managed to stay clean for a year...
    britbaize britbaize 26-30 4 Responses Jun 18, 2010

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    Victory In Jesus

     I have smoked cocaine/crack for over 20 years.  Many times I tried to stop and I even went to rehabilitation centers.  It didn't help.  I would be smoking, praying, singing gospel and reading the Bible all at the same time because I know that only Jesus can...
    onlybelieve onlybelieve 46-50 5 Responses Oct 4, 2008

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    Painful Road, Gratitude Skies

    I just celebrated two years sober and since beginning my third year, it's been a painful, yet gratifying road. While using, it was a downward spiral of sickness, lying, stealing, violence, even jail. I'm a 24 year old woman, who honestly should be six-feet under. The first 30...
    InPlaidWeTrust InPlaidWeTrust 26-30, F 20 Responses Oct 11, 2012

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    I stopped methadone in nov2013,

    but the last couple of days I feel so irritable and just want something to take that edge away. I've been feeling ape theatric and irritable. I feel bad too bc I know that counting your blessings, do something positive and healthy like take a jog, and not to give in. It's a...
    Dayzdreamer Dayzdreamer 26-30, F Jul 27

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    It's Hard Everyday

    I have been an addict almost all my life.  I took my first drink at age 11.  From there things just progressed.  I used something everyday.  Alcohol, pills (lots of them), weed, coke, acid, heroin...hell it might be easier just to list what I never did at...
    darlene darlene 41-45, F 31 Responses Sep 3, 2007

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    I used to use meth and heroin habitually.

    I'm 4 years clean as of last month. A big part of this was avoiding the people I used with. I've heard it said, "A friend who gives you drugs isn't a friend." I couldn't disagree more. These were wonderful people and very loving relationships, but they were not healthy for...
    OfFansAndFlames OfFansAndFlames 26-30 1 Response Apr 19

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    Hopeless And Dopeless To Happy Joyous And Free

    I have been a sober member of Alcoholics Anonymous for over eight years now. My life is filled with friends, family, work, God, love, and hope. This was not always the case for me, in fact it is a miracle to be happy today. I grew up in an upper middle class family with good...
    Jessibelle Jessibelle 41-45, F 1 Response Nov 18, 2009

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    amsx amsx 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 27

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    I was abusing xanax since March.

    I know it's not a long time but I've lost two friends because of it and also totaled my car. I'm getting out of this path while I still can. I've been clean for only about two weeks, but I am determined to get my friends back and be sober. It is really hard though I am realizing...
    egradyy egradyy 22-25, F 2 Responses Jun 22

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    30 Days

    I have 30 days without pills today! I would have never thought id be here. Im so glad I am tho. There are hard days but its all worth it.
    shannonshart shannonshart 31-35, F 1 Response Nov 9, 2013

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    I am 6 mths clean off pills currently.

    Probably the hardest thing I have ever done. I have tried several times to stay clean but am confident this time it will stick. I'm sick of being sick and wasting my time energy and money on something that literally makes me a monster. Each day is a struggle but I have to keep...
    jennayluv jennayluv 26-30, F 2 Responses Jan 5

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    44 days clean of klonopin 37 days no

    cigarettes 40 days no alcohol 38 days no mary jane
    patches1999 patches1999 13-15, F 1 Response Jul 31

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    patches1999 patches1999 13-15, F 1 Response Jul 29

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    Is there anyone who has some time clean

    who could please talk to me right now please
    Bransicle Bransicle 26-30, F 2 Responses Jan 5

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    Halezzzz Halezzzz 16-17, F Jul 20

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    I went to an NA meeting &

    that changed my life - I found a life of freedom from addiction - happy, joyous & free. That was seven years ago.Now after these seven years when I am away from any drugs & away from the chaotic, destructive, selfish , scared lifestyle - I am recovering.Recovering from the...
    domking domking 46-50, M 1 Response Jan 14

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    Maybe I'm in the wrong place

    as a lot of these comments are in jest, although my life seems to be a ground hog day, I wake up in agony thinking bout scoring, get up go get money, go score, then go charge , feel a bit better, then have to go get my next fix , repeat this all day then sleep, wake up ill then...
    codygal codygal 31-35, F 1 Response Jul 20

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    How Opiates Flipped My Life Upside Down (part 2)

    I was now a freshman in college,..... and had the world in my hands. freshman year was an absolute blast. What i did in high school, i did ten fold in college. i drank life a fish....didn't matter what i had to do the next day...because i knew i would get it done...and the...
    BrokenResurrection BrokenResurrection 22-25, F 1 Response Jan 24, 2012

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    I have 61 days without pills today.

    It's not easy all the time and there are still rough days but I'm here. I never realized how much time I spent on pills. Time looking for them. Time thinking about them. I just never really realized how much of my life pills consumed. Since I've quit I've found myself really...
    shannonshart shannonshart 31-35, F 2 Responses Dec 11, 2013

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    It Gets Better!

    When I think of those early days in recovery I am amazed that I managed to make it through. I was so full of guilt and shame. I wanted to end my life at times. The meeting I went to read " The Promises" and I just kept clinging to them. I want a life worth living! Early on the...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Mar 13, 2013

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