Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device

I Am a Recovering Addict

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 720 People

    Dear alcohol and every pill I took,

    You almost ruined my life. You promised me happiness by agreeing to solve my problems. Instead, you created more and made me to where I couldn't be the best I could be. Thankfully, I am able to leave you all in the past and have found happiness and love in AA meetings, my higher...
    cawnbread cawnbread 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 9

    Your Response

    Cancel
    amsx amsx 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 27, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I'm clean over a 9 months now

    but lately i been alone and depressed and I don't go to meetings anymore and i start to hear that voice which is telling me you might go back to use again I'm scared and no matter how much I try nothing changes I thought that NA is a good place where you can be accepted for who...
    frost103 frost103 22-25, M 3 Responses Dec 13, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    the only people I ever talk about this stuff

    with is people I'm close to, but when ever i say just a little too much they seem to get squeamish, so I only answer questions when asked. its hard to talk to people who haven't been around it, or had to deal with it closely I am a recovering heroin addict. one year, elven...
    DarkSideOfTheWall DarkSideOfTheWall 22-25, F 1 Response Mar 26

    Your Response

    Cancel

    For the sake of my two young sons,

    ages 3 and 9, may the Gods help me stay the hell away from opiates.
    immortalspirit immortalspirit 31-35, M 6 Responses Jul 27, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    It Gets Better!

    When I think of those early days in recovery I am amazed that I managed to make it through. I was so full of guilt and shame. I wanted to end my life at times. The meeting I went to read " The Promises" and I just kept clinging to them. I want a life worth living! Early on the...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Mar 13, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel
    patches1999 patches1999 16-17, F 1 Response Jul 29, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A Free Ride Into To Reality!

    And I've never been happier about it! I got invited to an old friends 16th birthday party and I am so excited! I am only have 52 days but life has never been better! I'm going to meet and hangout with regular kids that don't do drugs. Parents will be there but it doesn't mean we...
    Kidd12 Kidd12 16-17, F 9 Responses Oct 5, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I have 4 months sober today!

    :) If you're reading this and having a hard time, just keep fighting! You can do it and it's all worth it! One day at a time!
    shannonshart shannonshart 31-35, F 1 Response Feb 8, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Painful Road, Gratitude Skies

    I just celebrated two years sober and since beginning my third year, it's been a painful, yet gratifying road. While using, it was a downward spiral of sickness, lying, stealing, violence, even jail. I'm a 24 year old woman, who honestly should be six-feet under. The first 30...
    InPlaidWeTrust InPlaidWeTrust 26-30, F 20 Responses Oct 11, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    30 Days

    I have 30 days without pills today! I would have never thought id be here. Im so glad I am tho. There are hard days but its all worth it.
    shannonshart shannonshart 31-35, F 1 Response Nov 9, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Really Understand Now..

    Everybody has an addiction, and most people have multiple. Human beings are all substance abusers and addicts to a fault. Pick your poison.. coke? ecstacy? sex? food? we're all hooked. and through the whole getting sober process I've really started to understand that it isn't so...
    katiekayy katiekayy 18-21, F 3 Responses Dec 7, 2009

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Its been about 6 or 7 weeks clean now.

    Relapsed a little and still am but not as much as i expected. I even stopped my meds which i regret because now i have stopped everything in my life and sleep all day. Not sure what to do but will continue to stay clean as long as i can.
    patches1999 patches1999 16-17, F Jul 29, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    It Been 20 Mos.

    I quit drinking ,smoking, over sugar, cheating. For my partner. So I could take care of her. It's been good . I was a severe black out alcoholic and was about to get diabeities. I was220 5'5. Still having memory problems. But I weigh 155 I and not so tiered. Was getting a better...
    Faithinyoumy1 Faithinyoumy1 31-35 5 Responses Nov 8, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I used to use meth and heroin habitually.

    I'm 4 years clean as of last month. A big part of this was avoiding the people I used with. I've heard it said, "A friend who gives you drugs isn't a friend." I couldn't disagree more. These were wonderful people and very loving relationships, but they were not healthy for...
    OfFansAndFlames OfFansAndFlames 26-30 1 Response Apr 19, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I was twelve the first time I tried pills.

    Some boy at school offered them to me and I was curious. I took them and it felt great. I had always been the good girl and I got teased for being so innocent. Doing pills made me feel grown up. It was exciting. So I bought some more and tried two that time. I got really sick...
    emj1349 emj1349 18-21, F 3 Responses Feb 25, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Everchanging

    I am a 27 year old female with 4 children. I have been clean almost eleven months now. I started using when I was nine. The first time I went to treatment I was twelve. My mother was always wanting to send me to treatment and she did 7 times. I managed to stay clean for a year...
    britbaize britbaize 26-30 4 Responses Jun 18, 2010

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Jan. 22. New Energy Coming.

    Fun becomes fun, love becomes love, and life becomes worth living. And we become grateful. —Beyond Codependency (by Melody Beattie) There is a new energy, a new feeling coming into our life. We cannot base our expectations about how we will feel tomorrow, or even a few...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F 1 Response Jan 23, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    The Tunnel

    The darkest part of recovery, is feeling desperately alone. You don't know it in the beginning, but it's the loneliest time of your life. I refer to it as the tunnel. It's lonlier than the drugs, it's darker than the lies, and the deciet, and the countless coverups..and you're...
    StainedHands StainedHands 22-25, F 6 Responses Apr 14, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I was abusing xanax since March.

    I know it's not a long time but I've lost two friends because of it and also totaled my car. I'm getting out of this path while I still can. I've been clean for only about two weeks, but I am determined to get my friends back and be sober. It is really hard though I am realizing...
    egradyy egradyy 22-25, F 2 Responses Jun 22, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I suffer from chronic pain

    and used that as an excuse to abuse painkillers. Before I knew it my life was filled with voids. Gaps that I don't remember. Gaps that scare me because I don't know where I was or what I did. My realization that I needed help was when I came out of a haze and realized I was...
    CainMarko CainMarko 26-30, M May 8

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Halezzzz Halezzzz 18-21, F Jul 20, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Started smoking cigarettes in the 7th grade.

    I guess it was just kinda accepted where i'm from and it wasn't a shock to anyone if you did it. Glad i quick a couple months ago though.
    patches1999 patches1999 16-17, F Jul 29, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Well, I messed up and relapsed yesterday.

    Gotta start from square one now. Its ok though, relapsing sometimes is part of recovery. At least I did the right thing this time, I told myself no. Being alive and not having serious brain damage is better than being dead. I did a little further reading into Methamphetamine and...
    angoscia angoscia 18-21 1 Response Jul 20, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I had the desire to drink

    for about 4 hours now. I kept thinking about all the negative consequences. But something kept telling me to give in. Then I thought about the night I tried to pull through with suicide. I looked down at the scar on my chest and realized it's not worth going back to that dark...
    cawnbread cawnbread 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 22

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I've been clean a little over 13 months now.

    I'm not expecting miracles or anything but damn I thought some aspect of life would be easier, I was wrong, life's still messy I'm just sober enough to realize it now lol. I'm thankful, I really am. I'm glad to be sober and not waking up everyday ****** up and sick. I'm grateful...
    shannonshart shannonshart 31-35, F 1 Response Nov 18, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel
    lovelinessbathes lovelinessbathes 31-35, M 1 Response Jan 30

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I spent too much time on pills the past months.

    One night I was ****** up on pills and said something mean to a great friend. Now he will not speak to me. I completely understand his anger and hurt. I just miss him so bad. I've apologized so much and I am now on a path to sobriety. It's just hard because I want to get him...
    egradyy egradyy 22-25, F Jun 22, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    1 Year Down

    I've told exactly on person about this, but felt the need to put it out there tonight. I quit approximately 1 year ago. I was addicted to opiates (pain pills) and had been for awhile. It cost me my job, a wife, and everything in between. My addiction came on gradual (as most do...
    amodelcitizen amodelcitizen 36-40, M 3 Responses Dec 14, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I am 6 mths clean off pills currently.

    Probably the hardest thing I have ever done. I have tried several times to stay clean but am confident this time it will stick. I'm sick of being sick and wasting my time energy and money on something that literally makes me a monster. Each day is a struggle but I have to keep...
    jennayluv jennayluv 26-30, F 2 Responses Jan 5, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    How Opiates Flipped My Life Upside Down (part 2)

    I was now a freshman in college,..... and had the world in my hands. freshman year was an absolute blast. What i did in high school, i did ten fold in college. i drank life a fish....didn't matter what i had to do the next day...because i knew i would get it done...and the...
    BrokenResurrection BrokenResurrection 22-25, F Jan 24, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I have a question. I am in recovery from

    polysubstance abuse for the last 15 years. Most recently from Adderall over the last 4 years and mostly opiates and weed for those other 11 years. I am only a couple weeks clean from the Adderall and several months clean from opiates (with a few relapses but nothing recently...
    bob237 bob237 41-45 3 Responses May 12, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I stopped methadone in nov2013,

    but the last couple of days I feel so irritable and just want something to take that edge away. I've been feeling ape theatric and irritable. I feel bad too bc I know that counting your blessings, do something positive and healthy like take a jog, and not to give in. It's a...
    Dayzdreamer Dayzdreamer 26-30, F Jul 27, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Was Shooting Up In the End!

    I HAD BEEN A DRUG ADDICT FOR 20 SOME YEARS...... AND IN THE END OF MY ADDICTION I HAD GOTTEN SO BAD IN THE END I DID THE 2 THINGS I ALWAYS SAID I WOULD NEVER   DO!  SHOOT UP AND HERION...... THE SICK THING IS I WAS SHOOTING UP HERION AND CRACK AT THE SAME TIME...
    EEYORE6 EEYORE6 36-40, F 6 Responses Feb 3, 2008

    Your Response

    Cancel

    "God sees addiction as a path toward grace.

    " I copied this into my journal in May 2012, but I do not remember where I found it.
    eddiecarbone eddiecarbone 61-65, M 2 Responses Apr 28, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I've been sober for two years now.

    Although most people call me a success story, especially at such a young and vulnerable age, I still crave my drug of choice (cocaine) every waking moment. I may be young, but I've lived more-- seen more, than people three times my age. And even though I've cleaned my life up a...
    breanastrang breanastrang 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 22, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Victory In Jesus

     I have smoked cocaine/crack for over 20 years.  Many times I tried to stop and I even went to rehabilitation centers.  It didn't help.  I would be smoking, praying, singing gospel and reading the Bible all at the same time because I know that only Jesus can...
    onlybelieve onlybelieve 46-50 5 Responses Oct 4, 2008

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Junkie Love

    junkie boy, junkie girl junkie boy is sick junkie girl turns a trick and junkie boy gets his fix junkie boy gets well junkie girl lays down junkie boy is do'in scores all over town Junkie girl wakes up and there's her ol' man with a little bit of food and a rig in his hand with a...
    r3a7n13 r3a7n13 36-40, M 2 Responses Jul 14, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Maybe I'm in the wrong place

    as a lot of these comments are in jest, although my life seems to be a ground hog day, I wake up in agony thinking bout scoring, get up go get money, go score, then go charge , feel a bit better, then have to go get my next fix , repeat this all day then sleep, wake up ill then...
    codygal codygal 31-35, F 1 Response Jul 20, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I have been sober for over 2 years now.

    I went through about every drug you could imagine trying to find answers to my philosophical questions. Most we're answered through the hallucinogenics. I have some pretty crazy experiences with dmt and other drugs. All in all it was a bad idea but it did get me closer. Anyway...
    oldsoul12345 oldsoul12345 18-21, M Feb 19, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    44 days clean of klonopin 37 days no

    cigarettes 40 days no alcohol 38 days no mary jane
    patches1999 patches1999 16-17, F 1 Response Jul 31, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    It's Hard Everyday

    I have been an addict almost all my life.  I took my first drink at age 11.  From there things just progressed.  I used something everyday.  Alcohol, pills (lots of them), weed, coke, acid, heroin...hell it might be easier just to list what I never did at...
    darlene darlene 41-45, F 31 Responses Sep 3, 2007

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Learning To Live - Minutes At A Time

    Addiction had taken me so far down the scale that I was a broken shell of a human being. I felt so broken that I didn't even feel that there was enough left of me to be fixed. I could hardly talk, all I could feel was dispair and desperation and I couldn't even begin to fathom...
    SereneK SereneK 22-25, F 3 Responses Jul 24, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel
    patches1999 patches1999 16-17, F 1 Response Jul 29, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Alylovespuppies Alylovespuppies 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 31, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    20+ Yrs Of Using Drugs

    I started smoking pot in High School then I made the drinking age of 19 and drank with my friends. It became such a problem that I didn't graduate with my friends and had to come back and graduate the following year. I grew up Mormon , so I quit for 6 months and when on a mission...
    ttwilson65 ttwilson65 46-50, M 3 Responses Jul 25, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel