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I Am a Recovering Addict

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 671 People

    I went to an NA meeting &

    that changed my life - I found a life of freedom from addiction - happy, joyous & free. That was seven years ago.Now after these seven years when I am away from any drugs & away from the chaotic, destructive, selfish , scared lifestyle - I am recovering.Recovering from the...
    domking domking 46-50, M 1 Response Jan 14

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    They Call Us Generation Rx...

    Sep. 7th is my day... the day things aligned and i decided being a slave to opiates was no longer going to be part of my life. Some say it's a disease others dispute whether it is or not, i personally don't know. I do know that in my path of destruction and extreme selfish...
    andrw24 andrw24 26-30, M 6 Responses Nov 18, 2011

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    Well, I messed up and relapsed yesterday.

    Gotta start from square one now. Its ok though, relapsing sometimes is part of recovery. At least I did the right thing this time, I told myself no. Being alive and not having serious brain damage is better than being dead. I did a little further reading into Methamphetamine and...
    angoscia angoscia 16-17 5 days ago

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    1 Year Down

    I've told exactly on person about this, but felt the need to put it out there tonight. I quit approximately 1 year ago. I was addicted to opiates (pain pills) and had been for awhile. It cost me my job, a wife, and everything in between. My addiction came on gradual (as most do...
    amodelcitizen amodelcitizen 36-40, M 5 Responses Dec 14, 2012

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    I have a question. I am in recovery from

    polysubstance abuse for the last 15 years. Most recently from Adderall over the last 4 years and mostly opiates and weed for those other 11 years. I am only a couple weeks clean from the Adderall and several months clean from opiates (with a few relapses but nothing recently...
    bob237 bob237 41-45 3 Responses May 12

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    Learning To Live - Minutes At A Time

    Addiction had taken me so far down the scale that I was a broken shell of a human being. I felt so broken that I didn't even feel that there was enough left of me to be fixed. I could hardly talk, all I could feel was dispair and desperation and I couldn't even begin to fathom...
    SereneK SereneK 22-25, F 3 Responses Jul 24, 2012

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    I have been sober for over 2 years now.

    I went through about every drug you could imagine trying to find answers to my philosophical questions. Most we're answered through the hallucinogenics. I have some pretty crazy experiences with dmt and other drugs. All in all it was a bad idea but it did get me closer. Anyway...
    oldsoul12345 oldsoul12345 18-21, M Feb 19

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    Victory In Jesus

     I have smoked cocaine/crack for over 20 years.  Many times I tried to stop and I even went to rehabilitation centers.  It didn't help.  I would be smoking, praying, singing gospel and reading the Bible all at the same time because I know that only Jesus can...
    onlybelieve onlybelieve 46-50 5 Responses Oct 4, 2008

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    The Tunnel

    The darkest part of recovery, is feeling desperately alone. You don't know it in the beginning, but it's the loneliest time of your life. I refer to it as the tunnel. It's lonlier than the drugs, it's darker than the lies, and the deciet, and the countless coverups..and you're...
    StainedHands StainedHands 18-21, F 6 Responses Apr 14, 2013

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    30 Days

    I have 30 days without pills today! I would have never thought id be here. Im so glad I am tho. There are hard days but its all worth it.
    shannonshart shannonshart 31-35, F 1 Response Nov 9, 2013

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    I spent too much time on pills the past months.

    One night I was ****** up on pills and said something mean to a great friend. Now he will not speak to me. I completely understand his anger and hurt. I just miss him so bad. I've apologized so much and I am now on a path to sobriety. It's just hard because I want to get him...
    egradyy egradyy 22-25, F Jun 22

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    It Gets Better!

    When I think of those early days in recovery I am amazed that I managed to make it through. I was so full of guilt and shame. I wanted to end my life at times. The meeting I went to read " The Promises" and I just kept clinging to them. I want a life worth living! Early on the...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Mar 13, 2013

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    Jan. 22. New Energy Coming.

    Fun becomes fun, love becomes love, and life becomes worth living. And we become grateful. —Beyond Codependency (by Melody Beattie) There is a new energy, a new feeling coming into our life. We cannot base our expectations about how we will feel tomorrow, or even a few...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F Jan 23

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    I was abusing xanax since March.

    I know it's not a long time but I've lost two friends because of it and also totaled my car. I'm getting out of this path while I still can. I've been clean for only about two weeks, but I am determined to get my friends back and be sober. It is really hard though I am realizing...
    egradyy egradyy 22-25, F 2 Responses Jun 22

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    How Opiates Flipped My Life Upside Down (part 2)

    I was now a freshman in college,..... and had the world in my hands. freshman year was an absolute blast. What i did in high school, i did ten fold in college. i drank life a fish....didn't matter what i had to do the next day...because i knew i would get it done...and the...
    BrokenResurrection BrokenResurrection 22-25, F 1 Response Jan 24, 2012

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    I have 61 days without pills today.

    It's not easy all the time and there are still rough days but I'm here. I never realized how much time I spent on pills. Time looking for them. Time thinking about them. I just never really realized how much of my life pills consumed. Since I've quit I've found myself really...
    shannonshart shannonshart 31-35, F 1 Response Dec 11, 2013

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    I used to use meth and heroin habitually.

    I'm 4 years clean as of last month. A big part of this was avoiding the people I used with. I've heard it said, "A friend who gives you drugs isn't a friend." I couldn't disagree more. These were wonderful people and very loving relationships, but they were not healthy for...
    OfFansAndFlames OfFansAndFlames 22-25 1 Response Apr 19

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    It Been 20 Mos.

    I quit drinking ,smoking, over sugar, cheating. For my partner. So I could take care of her. It's been good . I was a severe black out alcoholic and was about to get diabeities. I was220 5'5. Still having memory problems. But I weigh 155 I and not so tiered. Was getting a better...
    Faithinyoumy1 Faithinyoumy1 31-35 5 Responses Nov 8, 2013

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    I have 4 months sober today!

    :) If you're reading this and having a hard time, just keep fighting! You can do it and it's all worth it! One day at a time!
    shannonshart shannonshart 31-35, F 1 Response Feb 8

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    Give Me Strength.

    U you I haven't had a lot of trouble quitting this time I think it s cause I had someone who understood. Theirs been a lot of stress in the house and relationship . The smell of smoke would make me sick. But today I had a n old feeling of Mmm I want one. I didn't but it getting...
    Faithinyoumy1 Faithinyoumy1 31-35 Nov 8, 2013

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    I Am Not A Shame

    I have wonderful stories as a child I was loved by some of the best parents a boy can have as a teenager they tried everything they could. i have so many secret that come and find me at night . you wont find my story in some fancy book but in the back ally's of a small town in...
    Joelaf Joelaf 26-30, M Sep 18, 2013

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    24 Days :)

    Today I have 24 days without any pills. I am feeling pretty good today. Its definitely true, its not easy but its worth it. I am now enrolled in college and will start classes in January. Something I tried but could not stick to when I was eating vicodin like candy. The vicodin...
    shannonshart shannonshart 31-35, F 3 Responses Nov 2, 2013

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    Is there anyone who has some time clean

    who could please talk to me right now please
    Bransicle Bransicle 26-30, F 2 Responses Jan 5

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    Painful Road, Gratitude Skies

    I just celebrated two years sober and since beginning my third year, it's been a painful, yet gratifying road. While using, it was a downward spiral of sickness, lying, stealing, violence, even jail. I'm a 24 year old woman, who honestly should be six-feet under. The first 30...
    InPlaidWeTrust InPlaidWeTrust 26-30, F 23 Responses Oct 11, 2012

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    41 Days...

    I want to tell my story. I'm just not sure where to start. That song "let's start at the very beginning, a very good place to start" just keeps running thru my head over and over lol. So here it goes. My life started out normal, I never realized there was anything abnormal about...
    shannonshart shannonshart 31-35, F 3 Responses Nov 21, 2013

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    Questions About Pain Control....

    Let's say hypothetically that my husband gets clean and is able to stop using prescription pain pills...... then what? What does he do for the pain in his neck from his injury that started this whole mess in the first place? I feel like its no good for him to seek treatment for...
    Lori1118 Lori1118 31-35, F 1 Response Oct 18, 2013

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    I'm Sick And Tired Of Being Sick And Tired, Still

    So I've cleaned up my act and quit all the drugs and most of the sex. Yet I am still sick and tired. My parents run my life and only let me go to a few meetings, only let me hang out with few people, and say I need more friends that are girls even though I try to explain I mingle...
    Kidd12 Kidd12 16-17, F 4 Responses Jun 9, 2012

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    I was twelve the first time I tried pills.

    Some boy at school offered them to me and I was curious. I took them and it felt great. I had always been the good girl and I got teased for being so innocent. Doing pills made me feel grown up. It was exciting. So I bought some more and tried two that time. I got really sick...
    emj1349 emj1349 18-21, F 4 Responses Feb 25

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    I Am Not A Shame

    I have wonderful stories as a child I was loved by some of the best parents a boy can have as a teenager they tried everything they could. i have so many secret that come and find me at night . you wont find my story in some fancy book but in the back ally's of a small town in...
    Joelaf Joelaf 26-30, M 1 Response Sep 18, 2013

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    Halezzzz Halezzzz 16-17, F 4 days ago

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    Maybe I'm in the wrong place

    as a lot of these comments are in jest, although my life seems to be a ground hog day, I wake up in agony thinking bout scoring, get up go get money, go score, then go charge , feel a bit better, then have to go get my next fix , repeat this all day then sleep, wake up ill then...
    codygal codygal 31-35, F 5 days ago

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    Am I Being Selfish?

    So I have been clean for almost 4 years. I was mainly a meth addict but dabbled in basically everything that got me high. I have a serious boyfriend of almost three years who is very supportive of me. His sister is a currently active in her addiction and it is soooo hard for me...
    Ihopesomedayimnotcrazy Ihopesomedayimnotcrazy 22-25 1 Response Dec 20, 2012

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    Day 47

    I have 47 days without pills. Not without stress tho. My living situation is causing me a lot of stress right now. About 5 months ago I moved and put myself, my kids and their father my EX husband under one roof. I had lost my job, he had lost his, it was convenient and cheaper...
    shannonshart shannonshart 31-35, F Nov 27, 2013

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    Prescription Pills

    I'd been an alcoholic since 2007, when I got mixed up with the wrong kids in high school. I was sneaking out to drink and get high almost every night throughout high school. In 2010 I lost 3 friends because of drugs and alcohol. My doctor prescribed me some anti-anxiety...
    genevieve144 genevieve144 22-25, F 1 Response Dec 1, 2013

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    Sober Birthday...

    Yesterday I celebrated my birthday sober. For the first time in about 19yrs. Today I have 45 days sober. 45 days with no pills. I had a very nice birthday. I took my niece and my daughter out to brunch and then to a movie. We had a wonderful time and I found out it is possible...
    shannonshart shannonshart 31-35, F 3 Responses Nov 24, 2013

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    Am I Doing Something Wrong? Advice Please...

    When I was thirteen, I started occasionally getting stoned, drinking, the normal teenage curiousity, and like the usual story, I was led down a bad path, I started to experiment a lot more, and care a lot less about school and family ect. I loved breaking the rules, I dropped...
    mindfuck mindfuck 18-21 2 Responses Aug 7, 2008

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    Junkie Love

    junkie boy, junkie girl junkie boy is sick junkie girl turns a trick and junkie boy gets his fix junkie boy gets well junkie girl lays down junkie boy is do'in scores all over town Junkie girl wakes up and there's her ol' man with a little bit of food and a rig in his hand with a...
    r3a7n13 r3a7n13 36-40, M 2 Responses Jul 14, 2012

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    Hopeless And Dopeless To Happy Joyous And Free

    I have been a sober member of Alcoholics Anonymous for over eight years now. My life is filled with friends, family, work, God, love, and hope. This was not always the case for me, in fact it is a miracle to be happy today. I grew up in an upper middle class family with good...
    Jessibelle Jessibelle 41-45, F 1 Response Nov 18, 2009

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    I am 6 mths clean off pills currently.

    Probably the hardest thing I have ever done. I have tried several times to stay clean but am confident this time it will stick. I'm sick of being sick and wasting my time energy and money on something that literally makes me a monster. Each day is a struggle but I have to keep...
    jennayluv jennayluv 26-30, F 1 Response Jan 5

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    Pill Popper

    When I was a freshman in college, my mother decided to move my sister and I from Ohio to Pennsylvania. She moved us away from our friends and family. Now, my sister was always better at making friends than I was. So I didn't know what to do with myself. Granted, my mother didn't...
    MikiJNiki MikiJNiki 18-21, F 3 Responses Nov 11, 2012

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    20 Days....This Last Week Has Been Rough!

    Today I have 20 days without taking a pill. Its been hard. This last week seems to have been really hard. I have been wanting a vicodin so bad. I haven't taken any but I've definitely wanted to. I've been really angry. I'm angry because I want it and I'm angry because I want it...
    shannonshart shannonshart 31-35, F 4 Responses Oct 29, 2013

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    "God sees addiction as a path toward grace.

    " I copied this into my journal in May 2012, but I do not remember where I found it.
    eddiecarbone eddiecarbone 61-65, M 2 Responses Apr 28

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    I Was Shooting Up In the End!

    I HAD BEEN A DRUG ADDICT FOR 20 SOME YEARS...... AND IN THE END OF MY ADDICTION I HAD GOTTEN SO BAD IN THE END I DID THE 2 THINGS I ALWAYS SAID I WOULD NEVER   DO!  SHOOT UP AND HERION...... THE SICK THING IS I WAS SHOOTING UP HERION AND CRACK AT THE SAME TIME...
    EEYORE6 EEYORE6 36-40, F 6 Responses Feb 3, 2008

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    Still So Sad

    i had a lot of stress in my life, my husband lost a good job, went back to school, had no money, never saw him, raising my son pretty much by my self for 3 years.  i started taking pain medicine to stop stress, but instead i stopped caring about everything, family...
    kate08 kate08 36-40 2 Responses Sep 11, 2008

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    I Really Understand Now..

    Everybody has an addiction, and most people have multiple. Human beings are all substance abusers and addicts to a fault. Pick your poison.. coke? ecstacy? sex? food? we're all hooked. and through the whole getting sober process I've really started to understand that it isn't so...
    katiekayy katiekayy 18-21, F 3 Responses Dec 7, 2009

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    1 Month 5 Days.

    Today I have one month and 5 days without pills. I feel pretty good. I feel stronger mentally, physically and emotionally than I ever have. Of course life still happens and things are never perfect. There are things in my life right now I'm struggling with like I said life is...
    shannonshart shannonshart 31-35, F 2 Responses Nov 14, 2013

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    20+ Yrs Of Using Drugs

    I started smoking pot in High School then I made the drinking age of 19 and drank with my friends. It became such a problem that I didn't graduate with my friends and had to come back and graduate the following year. I grew up Mormon , so I quit for 6 months and when on a mission...
    ttwilson65 ttwilson65 46-50, M 2 Responses Jul 25, 2012

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    'Thought It Wouldn't Happen to Me'

    I took my first alcoholic drink with my mother when I was 11,?.  When I was 15, I met my high school sweet heart...whom I (we)partied alot with friends. Drinking to blackouts was the rage then.  I remeber I got so drunk once when I was 16 that my boyfreind and a friend...
    Bubbles27 Bubbles27 26-30, F 3 Responses Sep 30, 2007

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    I Have Been Clean For a Month

     Yep thats right I have been clean for a month. I was in rehab for that month. But I had to leave for medical reasons. After my heath is better then I am going back to rehab. and staying there for another couple of months and hopefully stay clean the rest of my life. I can't...
    XLunaXLovegoodX XLunaXLovegoodX 22-25, F 9 Responses Jun 18, 2008

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    I've been sober for two years now.

    Although most people call me a success story, especially at such a young and vulnerable age, I still crave my drug of choice (cocaine) every waking moment. I may be young, but I've lived more-- seen more, than people three times my age. And even though I've cleaned my life up a...
    breanastrang breanastrang 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 22

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    It Hit Me Real Hard Today

    I guess I'll put this story in this group because it made me remember what could have been.  At work yesterday I took a call from a hospital icu notifing a couple Drs of a death.  When they told me the time of death it was like hours passed before them notifing the...
    darlene darlene 41-45, F 5 Responses Oct 9, 2007

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    Everchanging

    I am a 27 year old female with 4 children. I have been clean almost eleven months now. I started using when I was nine. The first time I went to treatment I was twelve. My mother was always wanting to send me to treatment and she did 7 times. I managed to stay clean for a year...
    britbaize britbaize 26-30 4 Responses Jun 18, 2010

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    It's Hard Everyday

    I have been an addict almost all my life.  I took my first drink at age 11.  From there things just progressed.  I used something everyday.  Alcohol, pills (lots of them), weed, coke, acid, heroin...hell it might be easier just to list what I never did at...
    darlene darlene 41-45, F 31 Responses Sep 3, 2007

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