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I Am a Recovering Alcoholic

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 722 People

    Hoping To Join That Club...

    Last Friday -- February 25th, 2011 -- I asked my doctor to help me quit drinking under medical supervision. Under sad circumstances; I need surgery for a very serious condition. My alcoholism is extremely severe. It terrifies me.  I hate having to go and buy my booze every day...
    AndrewPenney AndrewPenney 41-45 44 Responses Mar 1, 2011

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    Holding Your Hands Up.......

    Having gone through myself the devastation that the alchohol illness can cause, I find it horrible when i hear people blaming the person themselves for the pain that they cause while they are drinking. Yes it is ultimately down to the person themselves to stop drinking, but its...
    emmaB7 emmaB7 31-35, F Nov 23, 2012

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    NeoJesusOfTheMatrix NeoJesusOfTheMatrix 70+ May 21, 2014

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    Mistakes, You've Made A Few (A tip of the hat to Lilt and ccneb)

    Ruminating on your errors and where you got it wrong, is not the same thing as learning from them. If fact it's a sure fire way to set up momentum to repeat those same mistakes later on. Guilt is a very attractive and dynamic vibratory energy. The disease gets very excited about...
    StarWanderer StarWanderer 56-60, M 1 Response Aug 13, 2013

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    The Gift He hands me a package wrapped in

    silver paper with a hot pink bow on top. The box is square and thin, with a little weight to it. He says nothing as he hands it to me and I say nothing in response. This is what he does to me. He paralyzes my mind. I can’t speak. I can’t think. I take the box. I obey. I...
    Overwhelmed15 Overwhelmed15 26-30, F 3 Responses Nov 30, 2014

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    Two Months!!!!

    I have been sober for two months now and some days feel pretty good while some days/nights are still proving to be some of the worst nights of my life. I am having a hell of a time establishing a new routine in my sober life and I have ended up putting myself closer to relapse...
    Overwhelmed15 Overwhelmed15 26-30, F 8 Responses Nov 11, 2013

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    All ideologies are meaningless,

    whether religious or political, for it is conceptual thinking, the conceptual word, which has so unfortunately divided man. Religion is the frozen thought of man out of which they build temples I maintain that Truth is a pathless land, and you cannot approach it by any path...
    StarWanderer StarWanderer 56-60, M 1 Response Mar 30, 2014

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    My addiction cost me my health,

    at 24 my liver has failed and I've nearly died. I now have a degenerative bone condition secondary to alcohol abuse and am looking at a hip replacement. I wish I could have appreciated my good health before and known that the consequences to my actions would be so severe.
    itealist itealist 22-25, F 1 Response Aug 7, 2014

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    10 months Thinking about how I have been sober

    for 10 months is completely overwhelming and doesn’t seem real. In fact, it sort of makes me feel panic to think about how far I have come and how I have actually managed to live a better sober life. I am still having a lot of struggles with things despite my sobriety. I am...
    Overwhelmed15 Overwhelmed15 26-30, F 6 Responses Jul 11, 2014

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    The New 12 Steps

    RARELY HAVE they seen a person who has thoroughly followed their path. Those who do recover are usually people who have recognized AA as a dangerous religious cult, and will not give themselves completely to AA's fanatical program. The AA Cult is constituted primarily of men and...
    NeoJesusOfTheMatrix NeoJesusOfTheMatrix 70+ 2 Responses Mar 25, 2013

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    Alcoholism Can Be Cured Despite A.A.'s Contention To The Contrary

    By Dr. Arthur H. Cain From the September 19, 1964 Saturday Evening Post. An expert charges that Alcoholics anonymous has become a dogmatic cult that blocks medical progress and hampers many members' lives. It is time we made a thorough investigation of Alcoholics Anonymous in the...
    TheCrabbyAngel TheCrabbyAngel 46-50 7 Responses Mar 31, 2013

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    My 20th wedding anniversary is in a few months

    and I have been sober for just over half that time. Does this mean I have made amends for the despicable things I did to my wife in the nearly ten years I was drinking? Not even close. We were having dinner at our favourite restaurant last night, chatting about this and that...
    grasser grasser 56-60, M 4 Responses Jun 28, 2014

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    13 1/2 months I have to be honest

    and say that the 6 weeks after my one year anniversary have been rough. I have not had a regular schedule at all and emotionally I'm just not feeling well. I have started to drift away from the things that I did regularly in order to make it this far into my sobriety. I have...
    Overwhelmed15 Overwhelmed15 26-30, F 5 Responses Oct 25, 2014

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    AN OPEN LETTER FROM AN ALCOHOLIC I am an

    alcoholic. I need your help. Don't lecture , blame or scold me. You wouldn't be angry at me for having cancer or diabetes. Alcoholism is a disease, too. Don't pour out my liquor, it's just a waste of time because I can always find ways of getting more. Don't me provoke your...
    sexiskey sexiskey 41-45, F 13 Responses Feb 5, 2014

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    Well I feel good today.

    My side isn't hurting any longer, my anxiety is lessening thanks to the pills. I feel a sense of calm and determination. I think I'll start going out the house more often. This is good.
    IloveLife14 IloveLife14 31-35, F 11 Responses Jan 24, 2014

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    Today Is My Birthday.

    Today, I am 34. Today I am at work instead of having taken the day off to drink. Today I wasn't drinking at 10am the bottle of whiskey I would have bought last night like my other birthdays. Today my wife doesn't hate me. Today I am not embarrassed to show up at my nieces...
    ccneb ccneb 31-35, M 7 Responses Aug 2, 2013

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    The first time I tried to get sober,

    I had withdrawal symptoms like the shakes, nightmares, sweating, anxiety and depression. Eventually they went away without treatment. I relapsed recently and my parents might put me in rehab. However, I am not having withdrawal symptoms. Would they still detox me in rehab?
    cawnbread cawnbread 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 14

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    I Denied My Disease For 10 Years...

    And now I'm going on five months clean and somewhat sober. It took a move from one end of the world to another. A traumatic event times two. And two months of soul searching to get me to where I am now and I've still a long way to go. There's no doubt about that. My journey...
    CharlieDell33 CharlieDell33 31-35 4 Responses Sep 8, 2012

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    Even as committed as I am to staying sober,

    and as much as I loath the idea of drinking again, I must admit, if I walk past a pub and I have money in my pocket, I still feel a certain craving, a desire to go in and have maybe just one... Thankfully, the extent to which I feel that is far less than that to which I hate...
    SonOfSartre SonOfSartre 36-40, M 1 Response Dec 4, 2014

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    3 Months Sober!!!!!!!

    !!! I have somehow managed stay sober for 3 months…  How? I don’t really know. Perhaps. It was luck??  No ******* way….   Actually, to be completely honest, I have fought like hell and accepted an enormous amount of support in order to maintain my sobriety.   Sobriety...
    Overwhelmed15 Overwhelmed15 26-30, F 9 Responses Dec 11, 2013

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    Dancing Evergreen

             I checked the number on the incoming call vibrating in my hand. It was a call I was required, by law, to answer twenty-four hours a day seven days a week. I practice walking meditation and breathing exercises around an old historic State Penitentiary long since...
    gsparky22 gsparky22 41-45, M 9 Responses Nov 5, 2012

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    To Those It May Concern...

    This is in fact an exact copy of an answer I put in someone else's topic, but I felt it 'good' enough to be posted as a separate entry...  First a joke: You know what they call an alcoholic who ran out of booze? A man with a drinking problem... Okay. I started drinking...
    jimmyrudyjump jimmyrudyjump 51-55, M 13 Responses Mar 30, 2011

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    We all struggle with cravings

    and urges for the demon that dominated our lives for so long. At times it is easy, then we face strong cravings. That was my story for the first ten years of my recovery. Then something happened to change things fundamentally. My granddaughter was born early this year. As I have...
    grasser grasser 56-60, M 2 Responses May 24, 2014

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    What’s next for my sober life?

    ? Since the excitement of my one year anniversary has finally faded, I am left feeling reflective and wondering where my life is headed next. So much of my life has changed in the past year but there is still so much work to be done. This year has provided an insane amount...
    Overwhelmed15 Overwhelmed15 26-30, F 5 Responses Sep 21, 2014

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    Last October, my drinking had gotten to the

    point where a concerned out-of-town acquaintance called the local police out of concern for my well-being. Long story short, I was involuntarily admitted to a local psychiatric ward for the most lackluster suicide attempt (I drank most of a litre of vodka, had cut one wrist and...
    brattyjenn brattyjenn 41-45, F 4 Responses Jul 3, 2014

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    My Second Chance

    I've been an alcoholic for what seems like an eternity, although I know it's not. I'm in my early 30ies, live in Europe and have been drinking since I was around 22. I've been studying computer sciences, and to fight the boredom and my anxiety, I started drinking. Only beer at...
    drychicken drychicken 31-35 5 Responses Jun 2, 2013

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    I am an alcoholic and I have been struggling

    with this disease for almost 10 years. I have been sober since June 6th 2014, so I am about 5 and a half months clean. I haven't started working the steps yet and I don't have a sponsor. Any input on that? Any recovered alcoholics that want to chat or vent I'm here. Thanks for...
    lanadarling lanadarling 22-25, F 3 Responses Nov 21, 2014

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    Don't see anything the matter here, Ma. Ain't it grand the wind stopped blowin'?

    KARLA BRADA MURDER VICTIM BY AA MEMBER   Click on to view the Karla Brada Video Story-   http://youtu.be/uABc5vUGuGY   1st video-   http://youtu.be/nua3eekMYl   I am Monica Richardson, the Founder of a grass roots movement to Make AA Safer. We took direct action to do so...
    NeoJesusOfTheMatrix NeoJesusOfTheMatrix 70+ Mar 14, 2013

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    AA Doesn't Work For Atheists/Agnostics

    I recently decided that, after twenty years of heavy, almost daily drinking, and an incident that nearly cost me everything, I needed to quit my unhealthy ways and get sober for the first time in my entire adult life.  Though I had quit drinking for brief periods before...
    RedRover RedRover 36-40, F 55 Responses Jun 15, 2009

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    jeanie08 jeanie08 22-25 Jan 18

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    16 Months Sober My life today is

    so so so different than day one of sobriety. At times it feels like I am living someone else’s life because there is just no way that this could be my life. My life was a disaster and now things make sense. I was barely surviving and now I make plans on how to improve and...
    Overwhelmed15 Overwhelmed15 26-30, F 4 Responses Jan 17

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    1 year sober!!!!!!!!!

    ! Well it is official..... I have been sober for 1 year. It feels like my last drink was so long ago and so much has changed since then. Ahhhhhhh 1 year---- never thought it was possible and I have never been so excited and proud! Thank you to those that have helped me...
    Overwhelmed15 Overwhelmed15 26-30, F 28 Responses Sep 11, 2014

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    5 years ago today I picked up this white poker

    chip at an AA meeting. It signified 1 day sober. Through the grace of God and the help of a lot of family and friends I'm still holding on to it.
    ChilliDog ChilliDog 41-45, M 5 Responses Apr 3, 2014

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    Meaningless. I am more

    than alive today. I am more than just "sober" today. I am more than I was so many years ago. This is the result of the steps for me, where people drinking and the sight of alcohol means nothing. Most 12 steppers fear the outside world I don't. I didn't see "drunk people" this...
    StarWanderer StarWanderer 56-60, M 1 Response Dec 26, 2013

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    I found out about A.A.

    as the result of the court system A big "no no" in the fellowship and it wasn't about some traffic offense. I ended up in rehab and as a result of the group therapy I started to experience a total cessation of emotion and almost all thought with no identification of "me" at all...
    StarWanderer StarWanderer 56-60, M 2 Responses May 12, 2014

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    4 Months Sober

    I feel a lot better now.  I've quit drinking before (2 1/2 years) so I know I can't get too confident.  It is nice though to not be blowing all my money on alcohol and to never wake up hung-over or black out and not remember what I've done.
    ReformedAutomaton ReformedAutomaton 36-40, M 30 Responses Jun 5, 2007

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    My Drinking Career And How Alcoholics Anonymous Ruined It...

    My name is PrincessMaine and as of August 28, 2010, I had 6 years of sobriety with the fellowship and support of Alcoholics Anonymous... When I open up at any given commitment meeting and stand up at the podium, I usually give the same opening line, even though it's been passed...
    PrincessMaine PrincessMaine 46-50, F 151 Responses Dec 23, 2010

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    Let the countdown begin….

    ☺ Only NINE days away from my one-year anniversary has me in a rather reflective mood. I can’t help but sit back and think about the puzzle that is life. Life seems to be comprised of many many little puzzle pieces that fit together in such a way that makes the world make...
    Overwhelmed15 Overwhelmed15 26-30, F 6 Responses Sep 2, 2014

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    9 months! It doesn’t

    even seem real. This month has been a lot of struggle with my self-esteem. I don’t at all feel worthy or deserving on a regular basis, which allows me to slip into pretty deep dark spells in my head. I have spent 25 years being abused or abusing myself and I am finding it...
    Overwhelmed15 Overwhelmed15 26-30, F 5 Responses Jun 11, 2014

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    Finally Went To A Damn Meeting.

    After over two weeks of totally avoiding AA meetings, I finally went this morning before work (8/6/13). I still completely hate the meetings for a combination of reasons but I also know that I am approaching the point in my sobriety where I always slip up and drink.  I know that...
    Overwhelmed15 Overwhelmed15 26-30, F 11 Responses Aug 6, 2013

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    Recently I've suffered depression from drinking

    two much Alcohol I've Been walking in the Streets Drunk almost getting hit by cars during the whole entire summer some from Lincoln Way West High School who doesn't know I was an accident just waiting to happen the persons name is Sarah McDonald she knows I have a disability...
    theinfo theinfo 22-25, M Dec 27, 2014

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    11 months This month was marked with highs

    and lows. I had, for the first time in my life, two solid weeks of total happiness, a calm and completely normal life where I was productive at work and actually felt proud of myself for doing so well. That was followed by some unexpected lows. An abusive flashback hit me hard...
    Overwhelmed15 Overwhelmed15 26-30, F 2 Responses Aug 11, 2014

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    Progress is an interesting concept.

    So often since the beginning of my journey into a new sober life I have been craving it, wanting to move faster and faster forward, to seperate myself from my past at light speed, often unhappy with slow days or what I felt like were wasted moments. Progress so far has come in...
    Overwhelmed15 Overwhelmed15 26-30, F 3 Responses Jun 3, 2014

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    "just To Spread The Word"

    Hi everyone; This is more of a little notification than a story. I have told my story her already and it is always freash in my mind. I still thank God every day for giving me the will power and him help for me to quit for good. but what I want to say is that last week on...
    tabitha1960 tabitha1960 51-55, F 4 Responses Jan 17, 2013

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    Safe House? Mark Burchell

    Farmington Hills, Mich. - Recovery homes are supposed to be safe havens for addicts to heal after they get out of rehab. But instead of helping addicts rebuild their lives, a local sobriety leader is accused by several women of preying on them. He’s been hailed as a saint in...
    TheePanther TheePanther 70+ May 9, 2013

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    Today I decided that it is time

    for me to honestly and genuinely start accepting the success in my life. I am someone who has always worked hard in an effort to overcome what I felt like were handicaps in my life. At the very same time I have always done everything in my power to avoid the attention that seems...
    Overwhelmed15 Overwhelmed15 26-30, F 5 Responses Aug 21, 2014

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    My environment created me.

    I wasn't always an alcoholic but when you grow up with an inconsiderate drunk for a father and a neurotic mother who always makes excuses for him, how was it possible NOT to go down the wrong path? I have an extremely ugly history with the demon that is alcohol that to this day...
    Alan132 Alan132 22-25, M 1 Response Jan 8

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    As much as it is scary to admit,

    sobriety is becoming a very enjoyable experience for me. These last few weeks have been incredibly challenging but I have survived them and I have come out of the experiences in a far more solid place in terms of my sobriety and my ability to enjoy my new life. Two weeks ago I...
    Overwhelmed15 Overwhelmed15 26-30, F 5 Responses Jun 28, 2014

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    I think it's bullsh1t

    and unrealistic that one year "rule" about not dating in the first year. I also think it's bullsh1t as a guy, to be limited to only male sponsors. I get along better and easier with women because of my upbringing (issues with father and male authority figures. Whole different...
    Bdeath Bdeath 22-25, M 1 Response Oct 12, 2014

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    So. After years and years of having great luck.

    Knowing all the right people to get me out of trouble. It all finally came apart. Last night I left work about 1030pm and went to the bar. Alone. But since I drink for free there it's okay right? Well, two hours and many drinks and shots later I get behind the wheel to make...
    QBRAIDER QBRAIDER 26-30, M 1 Response Dec 6, 2014

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    Day 21

    Every single day has been a struggle. The first 10 days were hard. The headaches, the shaky hands, the sleepless nights and nausea. I sat through the AA meetings and listened to everyone tell me over and over again that it would get better, the days would improve and sobriety...
    Overwhelmed15 Overwhelmed15 26-30, F 9 Responses Jul 20, 2013

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