Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device

I Am a Recovering Alcoholic

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 720 People

    10 months Thinking about how I have been sober

    for 10 months is completely overwhelming and doesn’t seem real. In fact, it sort of makes me feel panic to think about how far I have come and how I have actually managed to live a better sober life. I am still having a lot of struggles with things despite my sobriety. I am...
    Overwhelmed15 Overwhelmed15 26-30, F 6 Responses Jul 11

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I have spent my entire life seeking

    and yearning for only one thing… relief from the pain of my horrific childhood. I have always fought alone and tried to do the best I could, always dreaming that one day I would finally feel free of the terribly heavy burdens. Now I fight with the support of those who care...
    Overwhelmed15 Overwhelmed15 26-30, F 3 Responses Aug 13

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I think it's bullsh1t

    and unrealistic that one year "rule" about not dating in the first year. I also think it's bullsh1t as a guy, to be limited to only male sponsors. I get along better and easier with women because of my upbringing (issues with father and male authority figures. Whole different...
    Bdeath Bdeath 22-25, M 1 Response Oct 12

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Hoping To Join That Club...

    Last Friday -- February 25th, 2011 -- I asked my doctor to help me quit drinking under medical supervision. Under sad circumstances; I need surgery for a very serious condition. My alcoholism is extremely severe. It terrifies me.  I hate having to go and buy my booze every day...
    AndrewPenney AndrewPenney 41-45 44 Responses Mar 1, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    What’s next for my sober life?

    ? Since the excitement of my one year anniversary has finally faded, I am left feeling reflective and wondering where my life is headed next. So much of my life has changed in the past year but there is still so much work to be done. This year has provided an insane amount...
    Overwhelmed15 Overwhelmed15 26-30, F 5 Responses Sep 21

    Your Response

    Cancel

    We all struggle with cravings

    and urges for the demon that dominated our lives for so long. At times it is easy, then we face strong cravings. That was my story for the first ten years of my recovery. Then something happened to change things fundamentally. My granddaughter was born early this year. As I have...
    grasser grasser 56-60, M 2 Responses May 24

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Day 1- Again (But For The LAST Time)

    Last night I ended my streak of sobriety at 50 days. I had one drink and then stopped. Today I find myself starting back at Day 1. I have had to start over before but this time is going to be different. This will be the LAST time I ever start over. I had no idea how I was going...
    Overwhelmed15 Overwhelmed15 26-30, F 11 Responses Sep 11, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    The Gift He hands me a package wrapped in

    silver paper with a hot pink bow on top. The box is square and thin, with a little weight to it. He says nothing as he hands it to me and I say nothing in response. This is what he does to me. He paralyzes my mind. I can’t speak. I can’t think. I take the box. I obey. I...
    Overwhelmed15 Overwhelmed15 26-30, F 3 Responses Nov 30

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I was clean for several monthes

    but relapsed. im drinking a lot again lately, maybe too much. Been goin out every night and just getting wasted. I didn't expect losing one friendship to hit me so hard. Guess I really did like them, now im back to my always there friend, liquor.
    bluebell45 bluebell45 22-25, F 7 Responses Dec 2

    Your Response

    Cancel

    And I want to thank my gf

    for it she's my whole life
    javies99 javies99 13-15, M Jul 17

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Today I decided that it is time

    for me to honestly and genuinely start accepting the success in my life. I am someone who has always worked hard in an effort to overcome what I felt like were handicaps in my life. At the very same time I have always done everything in my power to avoid the attention that seems...
    Overwhelmed15 Overwhelmed15 26-30, F 5 Responses Aug 21

    Your Response

    Cancel

    3 Months Sober!!!!!!!

    !!! I have somehow managed stay sober for 3 months…  How? I don’t really know. Perhaps. It was luck??  No ******* way….   Actually, to be completely honest, I have fought like hell and accepted an enormous amount of support in order to maintain my sobriety.   Sobriety...
    Overwhelmed15 Overwhelmed15 26-30, F 9 Responses Dec 11, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    9 months! It doesn’t

    even seem real. This month has been a lot of struggle with my self-esteem. I don’t at all feel worthy or deserving on a regular basis, which allows me to slip into pretty deep dark spells in my head. I have spent 25 years being abused or abusing myself and I am finding it...
    Overwhelmed15 Overwhelmed15 26-30, F 5 Responses Jun 11

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I found out about A.A.

    as the result of the court system A big "no no" in the fellowship and it wasn't about some traffic offense. I ended up in rehab and as a result of the group therapy I started to experience a total cessation of emotion and almost all thought with no identification of "me" at all...
    StarWanderer StarWanderer 56-60, M 2 Responses May 12

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Some days are so full of memories

    that it is nearly impossible to resist a drink. This weekend for me is one of those times. This weekend is harder than the holidays by far. I lost a very good friend the summer after my first year of college. I went away for college but kept in very close contact with her and...
    Overwhelmed15 Overwhelmed15 26-30, F 3 Responses May 3

    Your Response

    Cancel

    13 1/2 months I have to be honest

    and say that the 6 weeks after my one year anniversary have been rough. I have not had a regular schedule at all and emotionally I'm just not feeling well. I have started to drift away from the things that I did regularly in order to make it this far into my sobriety. I have...
    Overwhelmed15 Overwhelmed15 26-30, F 5 Responses Oct 25

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Progress is an interesting concept.

    So often since the beginning of my journey into a new sober life I have been craving it, wanting to move faster and faster forward, to seperate myself from my past at light speed, often unhappy with slow days or what I felt like were wasted moments. Progress so far has come in...
    Overwhelmed15 Overwhelmed15 26-30, F 3 Responses Jun 3

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I am an alcoholic and I have been struggling

    with this disease for almost 10 years. I have been sober since June 6th 2014, so I am about 5 and a half months clean. I haven't started working the steps yet and I don't have a sponsor. Any input on that? Any recovered alcoholics that want to chat or vent I'm here. Thanks for...
    lanadarling lanadarling 22-25, F 3 Responses Nov 21

    Your Response

    Cancel

    5 years ago today I picked up this white poker

    chip at an AA meeting. It signified 1 day sober. Through the grace of God and the help of a lot of family and friends I'm still holding on to it.
    ChilliDog ChilliDog 41-45, M 5 Responses Apr 3

    Your Response

    Cancel

    1 year sober!!!!!!!!!

    ! Well it is official..... I have been sober for 1 year. It feels like my last drink was so long ago and so much has changed since then. Ahhhhhhh 1 year---- never thought it was possible and I have never been so excited and proud! Thank you to those that have helped me...
    Overwhelmed15 Overwhelmed15 26-30, F 29 Responses Sep 11

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I am 50 days sober, I have been suffering this

    disease since I was 11. I've been in the program for about a month and do not have a sponsor yet. Can I talk to someone when I need it? Message me?
    cawnbread cawnbread 18-21, F 3 Responses Nov 29

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My 20th wedding anniversary is in a few months

    and I have been sober for just over half that time. Does this mean I have made amends for the despicable things I did to my wife in the nearly ten years I was drinking? Not even close. We were having dinner at our favourite restaurant last night, chatting about this and that...
    grasser grasser 56-60, M 4 Responses Jun 28

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Even as committed as I am to staying sober,

    and as much as I loath the idea of drinking again, I must admit, if I walk past a pub and I have money in my pocket, I still feel a certain craving, a desire to go in and have maybe just one... Thankfully, the extent to which I feel that is far less than that to which I hate...
    anothernightowl anothernightowl 36-40, M 1 Response Dec 4

    Your Response

    Cancel

    11 months This month was marked with highs

    and lows. I had, for the first time in my life, two solid weeks of total happiness, a calm and completely normal life where I was productive at work and actually felt proud of myself for doing so well. That was followed by some unexpected lows. An abusive flashback hit me hard...
    Overwhelmed15 Overwhelmed15 26-30, F 2 Responses Aug 11

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Finally Went To A Damn Meeting.

    After over two weeks of totally avoiding AA meetings, I finally went this morning before work (8/6/13). I still completely hate the meetings for a combination of reasons but I also know that I am approaching the point in my sobriety where I always slip up and drink.  I know that...
    Overwhelmed15 Overwhelmed15 26-30, F 11 Responses Aug 6, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    The Best Way to Move Forward is to take a Quick

    Glance at the Past…. For the past several weeks I have been anxious for this year to end. I have felt like 2013 was one of the worst years of my life for quite some time now and I am ready to start fresh hoping that 2014 will be a really great year. I haven’t had a great...
    Overwhelmed15 Overwhelmed15 26-30, F 10 Responses Dec 18, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    All ideologies are meaningless,

    whether religious or political, for it is conceptual thinking, the conceptual word, which has so unfortunately divided man. Religion is the frozen thought of man out of which they build temples I maintain that Truth is a pathless land, and you cannot approach it by any path...
    StarWanderer StarWanderer 56-60, M 1 Response Mar 30

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Let the countdown begin….

    ☺ Only NINE days away from my one-year anniversary has me in a rather reflective mood. I can’t help but sit back and think about the puzzle that is life. Life seems to be comprised of many many little puzzle pieces that fit together in such a way that makes the world make...
    Overwhelmed15 Overwhelmed15 26-30, F 6 Responses Sep 2

    Your Response

    Cancel

    So. After years and years of having great luck.

    Knowing all the right people to get me out of trouble. It all finally came apart. Last night I left work about 1030pm and went to the bar. Alone. But since I drink for free there it's okay right? Well, two hours and many drinks and shots later I get behind the wheel to make...
    QBRAIDER QBRAIDER 26-30, M 1 Response Dec 6

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My Second Chance

    I've been an alcoholic for what seems like an eternity, although I know it's not. I'm in my early 30ies, live in Europe and have been drinking since I was around 22. I've been studying computer sciences, and to fight the boredom and my anxiety, I started drinking. Only beer at...
    drychicken drychicken 31-35 5 Responses Jun 2, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Denied My Disease For 10 Years...

    And now I'm going on five months clean and somewhat sober. It took a move from one end of the world to another. A traumatic event times two. And two months of soul searching to get me to where I am now and I've still a long way to go. There's no doubt about that. My journey...
    CharlieDell33 CharlieDell33 31-35 4 Responses Sep 8, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    AN OPEN LETTER FROM AN ALCOHOLIC I am an

    alcoholic. I need your help. Don't lecture , blame or scold me. You wouldn't be angry at me for having cancer or diabetes. Alcoholism is a disease, too. Don't pour out my liquor, it's just a waste of time because I can always find ways of getting more. Don't me provoke your...
    sexiskey sexiskey 41-45, F 13 Responses Feb 5

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My addiction cost me my health,

    at 24 my liver has failed and I've nearly died. I now have a degenerative bone condition secondary to alcohol abuse and am looking at a hip replacement. I wish I could have appreciated my good health before and known that the consequences to my actions would be so severe.
    itealist itealist 22-25, F 1 Response Aug 7

    Your Response

    Cancel

    To Those It May Concern...

    This is in fact an exact copy of an answer I put in someone else's topic, but I felt it 'good' enough to be posted as a separate entry...  First a joke: You know what they call an alcoholic who ran out of booze? A man with a drinking problem... Okay. I started drinking...
    jimmyrudyjump jimmyrudyjump 51-55, M 13 Responses Mar 30, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Dancing Evergreen

             I checked the number on the incoming call vibrating in my hand. It was a call I was required, by law, to answer twenty-four hours a day seven days a week. I practice walking meditation and breathing exercises around an old historic State Penitentiary long since...
    gsparky22 gsparky22 41-45, M 9 Responses Nov 5, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My Bottle Was My Best Friend/Worst Enemy.

    I've been "recovering" since jan 2nd 2012, no more waking up and instantly reaching for the whiskey bottle to calm the shaking and make my mind stop spinning erratically and also to make the day easier to face and escape reality with... my eyes opening to the bottle of jack...
    deleted deleted 26-30 8 Responses Jul 27, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    8 months sober and I really need some advice….

    Please! This month was really hard emotionally. I am really struggling to find any sort of balance in this new sober life. I am struggling at work and at home, emotionally I feel like I can’t settle down and remain calm. This month I successfully struggled through the...
    Overwhelmed15 Overwhelmed15 26-30, F 6 Responses May 11

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Being humbled by a 'borderline' alcoholic

    I had just returned to the apartment complex from an early morning errand today when another resident I'd never seen before approached me and, in a near mania that I didn't understand then but would shortly, begged me for a ride across the city during rush hour to an appointment...
    cmmacneil cmmacneil 51-55, M 12 Responses Aug 30, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Meaningless. I am more

    than alive today. I am more than just "sober" today. I am more than I was so many years ago. This is the result of the steps for me, where people drinking and the sight of alcohol means nothing. Most 12 steppers fear the outside world I don't. I didn't see "drunk people" this...
    StarWanderer StarWanderer 56-60, M 1 Response Dec 26, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Days Sober = 14

    I have hit the two week mark. I think a lot of people underestimate just how freaking hard this is for me. I still get withdrawals, and more anxiety, and cravings, and have dreams about booze, and and and. I could go on all day. All over on the billboards there are alcohol ads...
    PreferUknown PreferUknown 22-25, F 9 Responses May 27, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    AA Doesn't Work For Atheists/Agnostics

    I recently decided that, after twenty years of heavy, almost daily drinking, and an incident that nearly cost me everything, I needed to quit my unhealthy ways and get sober for the first time in my entire adult life.  Though I had quit drinking for brief periods before...
    RedRover RedRover 36-40, F 55 Responses Jun 15, 2009

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Safe House? Mark Burchell

    Farmington Hills, Mich. - Recovery homes are supposed to be safe havens for addicts to heal after they get out of rehab. But instead of helping addicts rebuild their lives, a local sobriety leader is accused by several women of preying on them. He’s been hailed as a saint in...
    TheePanther TheePanther 70+ May 9, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    The New 12 Steps

    RARELY HAVE they seen a person who has thoroughly followed their path. Those who do recover are usually people who have recognized AA as a dangerous religious cult, and will not give themselves completely to AA's fanatical program. The AA Cult is constituted primarily of men and...
    NeoJesusOfTheMatrix NeoJesusOfTheMatrix 70+ 2 Responses Mar 25, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Day 21

    Every single day has been a struggle. The first 10 days were hard. The headaches, the shaky hands, the sleepless nights and nausea. I sat through the AA meetings and listened to everyone tell me over and over again that it would get better, the days would improve and sobriety...
    Overwhelmed15 Overwhelmed15 26-30, F 9 Responses Jul 20, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Well I feel good today.

    My side isn't hurting any longer, my anxiety is lessening thanks to the pills. I feel a sense of calm and determination. I think I'll start going out the house more often. This is good.
    IloveLife14 IloveLife14 31-35, F 11 Responses Jan 24

    Your Response

    Cancel

    As much as it is scary to admit,

    sobriety is becoming a very enjoyable experience for me. These last few weeks have been incredibly challenging but I have survived them and I have come out of the experiences in a far more solid place in terms of my sobriety and my ability to enjoy my new life. Two weeks ago I...
    Overwhelmed15 Overwhelmed15 26-30, F 5 Responses Jun 28

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Don't see anything the matter here, Ma. Ain't it grand the wind stopped blowin'?

    KARLA BRADA MURDER VICTIM BY AA MEMBER   Click on to view the Karla Brada Video Story-   http://youtu.be/uABc5vUGuGY   1st video-   http://youtu.be/nua3eekMYl   I am Monica Richardson, the Founder of a grass roots movement to Make AA Safer. We took direct action to do so...
    NeoJesusOfTheMatrix NeoJesusOfTheMatrix 70+ Mar 14, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I have spent the last 4 years battling to come

    to terms with the fact that I can never drink alcohol again. went to rehab, very hard thing I've ever done, faced my demons and found out who I really am. I've been battling the booze for the last 36 years and at this moment in time I am currently 15 months clean. So if anyone...
    kinkyman23 kinkyman23 46-50, M 4 Responses Apr 26

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Hate makes me want to drink.

    Oh how I am hating you today…. Hating you so so so much, so much that I just want to drink to get rid of the hate. I hate the sound of your voice, the sound of your footsteps, the look of your face. I hate how you raised or attempted to raise your children and failed. I...
    Overwhelmed15 Overwhelmed15 26-30, F 6 Responses Nov 9

    Your Response

    Cancel

    actually, I choose to call myself a child of

    the living God, that is in recovery from alcohol. I refuse to identify myself with the sin I used to commit. I know if i drank again, I would be back in the same sad state I was in before I quit drinking, over 25 years ago. With the help of sponsors, accountability partners...
    jesusfreak247 jesusfreak247 61-65 Apr 19

    Your Response

    Cancel
    NeoJesusOfTheMatrix NeoJesusOfTheMatrix 70+ May 21