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I Am a Recovering Alcoholic

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 695 People

    I Don't Pay Attention To Myself

    Now that I'm sober, I realize that I've always had problems with being in touch with my emotions. I just never paid attention. In earlier years I mostly distracted myself with learning or reading, and later, I would just drink until I'd pass out. This therapist I'm seeing is...
    drychicken drychicken 31-35 6 Responses Oct 16, 2013

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    Days Sober = 14

    I have hit the two week mark. I think a lot of people underestimate just how freaking hard this is for me. I still get withdrawals, and more anxiety, and cravings, and have dreams about booze, and and and. I could go on all day. All over on the billboards there are alcohol ads...
    PreferUknown PreferUknown 22-25, F 8 Responses May 27, 2013

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    Mistakes, You've Made A Few (A tip of the hat to Lilt and ccneb)

    Ruminating on your errors and where you got it wrong, is not the same thing as learning from them. If fact it's a sure fire way to set up momentum to repeat those same mistakes later on. Guilt is a very attractive and dynamic vibratory energy. The disease gets very excited about...
    StarWanderer StarWanderer 56-60, M 1 Response Aug 13, 2013

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    My Drinking Career And How Alcoholics Anonymous Ruined It...

    My name is PrincessMaine and as of August 28, 2010, I had 6 years of sobriety with the fellowship and support of Alcoholics Anonymous... When I open up at any given commitment meeting and stand up at the podium, I usually give the same opening line, even though it's been passed...
    PrincessMaine PrincessMaine 46-50, F 157 Responses Dec 23, 2010

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    Well 3 months sober now

    and today I am so proud of myself going to bed soon just to end the day had hopefully a one off day god I could have killed for a drink and just don't know why only thing I can put it down to is Christmas associated with drinking and eating stayed away from works Christmas party...
    Steveat10 Steveat10 46-50, M 7 Responses Dec 23, 2013

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    I have been sober for over five years now,

    I don't thin I ever thought I Paul's make it this far. Absolutely love my sober life and want to thank everyone that has been there along the way. To another five. Thank you?
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Mar 23

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    Well I feel good today.

    My side isn't hurting any longer, my anxiety is lessening thanks to the pills. I feel a sense of calm and determination. I think I'll start going out the house more often. This is good.
    IloveLife14 IloveLife14 31-35, F 11 Responses Jan 24

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    Holding Your Hands Up.......

    Having gone through myself the devastation that the alchohol illness can cause, I find it horrible when i hear people blaming the person themselves for the pain that they cause while they are drinking. Yes it is ultimately down to the person themselves to stop drinking, but its...
    emmaB7 emmaB7 31-35, F Nov 23, 2012

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    Hi you lovely people.

    I haven't written anything in a while, and I'm in a retrospective mood, so I thought I'd check in again. Well, to be honest, thinks are looking up. A lot. After rehab I found myself in a slump. I was doing okay, managed to stay sober, but was widely unhappy with everything and...
    drychicken drychicken 31-35 4 Responses Mar 16

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    Feb. 26. Twelve Step Programs.

    I was furious when I found myself at my first Al-Anon meeting. It seemed so unfair that he had the problem and I had to go to a meeting. But by that time, I had nowhere left in the world to go with my pain. Now, I'm grateful for Al-Anon and my codependency recovery. Al-Anon...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F Feb 26

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    Feb. 25. Accepting Imperfection.

    "Why do I do this to myself?" asked a woman who wanted to lose weight. "I went to my support group feeling so guilty and ashamed because I ate half a cookie that wasn't on the diet. I found out that everyone cheats a little, and some people cheat a lot. I felt so ashamed before...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F Feb 25

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    I am a recovering alcoholic ,

    I haven't drank in ten yrs , but I've watched my husband get blitzed everyday of his life for the last ten yrs , we have a 12 yr old daughter together and I really thought he would give it up by now but I don't think he ever will , I feel so guilty because I really have come to...
    donewitit donewitit 41-45, F 1 Response Mar 20

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    AA Doesn't Work For Atheists/Agnostics

    I recently decided that, after twenty years of heavy, almost daily drinking, and an incident that nearly cost me everything, I needed to quit my unhealthy ways and get sober for the first time in my entire adult life.  Though I had quit drinking for brief periods before...
    RedRover RedRover 36-40, F 54 Responses Jun 15, 2009

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    Feb. 27. People-Pleasers.

    Have you ever been around people-pleasers? They tend to be displeasing. Being around someone who is turned inside out to please another is often irritating and anxiety- producing. People-pleasing is a behavior we may have adapted to survive in our family. We may not have been...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F 2 Responses Feb 27

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    Forever Grateful

    When I had my first drunk at the age of 14 I never believed it would lead me to where I am today. My mother even accused me of being an alcoholic at the time , which I laughed at. After all it was the first time I had drank. I continued on that path to the tune of many abusive...
    cinfullynn cinfullynn 46-50, F 14 Responses Jan 23, 2008

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    One Year Dry

    My 1 year DRY anniversary June This Year. I can NOT believe i made it this far I struggle some days, I think about it others, I am SO happy the rest of the days. Its a battle and its a long, :( 1 year isn't much out of the 3 years I drank heavy but its one year i got my life...
    zanyminx zanyminx 41-45, F 6 Responses Aug 10, 2013

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    I began chairing meetings this month,

    something I was somewhat pushed into when I was "volunteered" and said fine. It has actually been a really great experience. Each week I have spent time considering and working on various topics. I usually went through 3 or 4 before I settled on one, but I learned a bit about...
    ccneb ccneb 31-35, M 2 Responses Mar 25

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    I am sober one day! Today is the first day.

    Probably Lost my job. Almost lost my boyfriend, my mind and lots of other stuff
    missy8080 missy8080 31-35, F 8 Responses Feb 28

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    Feb. 22. Solving Problems.

    I ask that You might help me work through all my problems, to Your Glory and Honor. —Alcoholics Anonymous Many of us lived in situations where it wasn't okay to identify, have, or talk about problems. Denial became a way of life - our way of dealing with problems In...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F 2 Responses Feb 22

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    I was living an alcoholic lifestyle from 15

    years of age until 23 years of age. I have now been sober since April 8, 2011. During my 8 years of drinking I have lost a lot including jobs, relationships, and much more. After my second DUI, I knew I had to make major changes in my life. I quit drinking cold turkey. Shortly...
    cgmom88 cgmom88 26-30, F 1 Response Mar 16

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    January 19, 1982. That was the day I stopped

    drinking …. and walked into my first AA meeting. 32 years later, I know I'm a very different person. Actually, I've known that for quite a few years. These days, the time flies between one year and the next. But, in the early days, time just crawled. It was painfully...
    AllAboutLaffs AllAboutLaffs 61-65, M 8 Responses Jan 19

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    March 3. Accepting Ourselves.

    While driving one day, a woman's attention focused on the license plate of the car ahead. The license read: B WHO UR. How can I? she thought. I don't know who I am! Some of us may have felt confused when people encouraged us to be ourselves. How could we know ourselves, or be...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F Mar 3

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    March 4. Higher Power

    as a Source. I've learned I can take care of myself, and what I can't do, God will do for me. —Al-Anon member God, a Higher Power as we understand Him, is our source of guidance and positive change. This doesn't mean we're not responsible for ourselves. We are. But we aren't...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F 1 Response Mar 4

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    I just learned yesterday

    that one of my very best friends is in recovery. I was truly shocked but grateful that she shared this with me. Our times spent together have been with and without alcohol. I know this will need to be different now that she is an AA member and want to know the best ways to be a...
    AssInTheSand AssInTheSand 46-50, F 5 Responses Feb 1

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    March 2. Feelings on the Job.

    "I'm furious about my job. Another man got a promotion that I believe I deserve. I'm so mad I feel like quitting. Now my wife says I should deal with my feelings. What good will that do? He still got the promotion." —Anonymous Our feelings at work are as important as our...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F 1 Response Mar 2

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    Today Is My Birthday.

    Today, I am 34. Today I am at work instead of having taken the day off to drink. Today I wasn't drinking at 10am the bottle of whiskey I would have bought last night like my other birthdays. Today my wife doesn't hate me. Today I am not embarrassed to show up at my nieces...
    ccneb ccneb 31-35, M 7 Responses Aug 2, 2013

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    Feb. 28. Letting Go of Denial.

    We are slow to believe that which, if believed, would hurt our feelings. —Ovid Most of us in recovery have engaged in denial from time to time. Some of us relied on this tool. We may have denied events or feelings from our past. We may have denied other people's problems...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F Feb 28

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    What If We Saw Addiction Like We See Cancer.

    What if we saw addiction more like we see cancer? Both deadly diseases, they are worlds apart in how they are perceived. It would sound heartless to tell a cancer patient to "get over it," yet alcoholics and addicts are judged harshly for their malady. Cancer cells don't announce...
    BuddyBo BuddyBo 56-60, F 6 Responses Dec 10, 2012

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    All ideologies are meaningless,

    whether religious or political, for it is conceptual thinking, the conceptual word, which has so unfortunately divided man. Religion is the frozen thought of man out of which they build temples I maintain that Truth is a pathless land, and you cannot approach it by any path...
    StarWanderer StarWanderer 56-60, M 1 Response Mar 30

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    actually, I choose to call myself a child of

    the living God, that is in recovery from alcohol. I refuse to identify myself with the sin I used to commit. I know if i drank again, I would be back in the same sad state I was in before I quit drinking, over 25 years ago. With the help of sponsors, accountability partners...
    jesusfreak247 jesusfreak247 56-60 12 hrs ago

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    Dancing Evergreen

             I checked the number on the incoming call vibrating in my hand. It was a call I was required, by law, to answer twenty-four hours a day seven days a week. I practice walking meditation and breathing exercises around an old historic State Penitentiary long since...
    gsparky22 gsparky22 41-45, M 9 Responses Nov 5, 2012

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    March 10. Taking Care of Ourselves.

    We cannot simultaneously set a boundary and take care of another person's feelings. It's impossible; the two acts contradict. What a tremendous asset to have compassion for others! How difficult that same quality can make it to set boundaries! It's good to care about other...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F Mar 9

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    I just want to experience variety of things in

    life. Time is the only real commodity we have-I don't want to waste it any more. I am not cut out for mediocre things. Soon time will come for us to bid farewell to all this we perceive around us. I don't want to go out with any regrets. I will merge with 'life' itself, it's...
    StarWanderer StarWanderer 56-60, M 1 Response Apr 3

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    March 1. Letting Go of Anger.

    In recovery, we often discuss anger objectively. Yes, we reason, it's an emotion we're all prone to experience. Yes, the goal in recovery is to be free of resentment and anger. Yes, it's okay to feel angry, we agree. Well, maybe. . . . Anger is a powerful and sometimes...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F Mar 1

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    To Those It May Concern...

    This is in fact an exact copy of an answer I put in someone else's topic, but I felt it 'good' enough to be posted as a separate entry...  First a joke: You know what they call an alcoholic who ran out of booze? A man with a drinking problem... Okay. I started drinking...
    jimmyrudyjump jimmyrudyjump 46-50, M 13 Responses Mar 30, 2011

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    5 years ago today I picked up this white poker

    chip at an AA meeting. It signified 1 day sober. Through the grace of God and the help of a lot of family and friends I'm still holding on to it.
    ChilliDog ChilliDog 41-45, M 7 Responses Apr 3

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    Feb. 23. Strength. We don't always have to be

    strong. Sometimes, our strength is expressed in being vulnerable. Sometimes, we need to fall apart to regroup and stay on track. We all have days when we cannot push any harder, cannot hold back self-doubt, cannot stop focusing on fear, cannot be strong. There are days when we...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F Feb 23

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    Feb. 24. Recognizing Feelings.

    Experiencing feelings can be a challenge if we've had no previous experience or permission to do that. Learning to identify what we're feeling is a challenge we can meet, but we will not become experts overnight. Nor do we have to deal with our feelings perfectly. Here are...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F 2 Responses Feb 24

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    March 10. Living with Families.

    I was forty-six years old before I finally admitted to myself and someone else that my grandfather always managed to make me feel guilty, angry, and controlled. —Anonymous We may love and care about our family very much. Family members may love and care about us. But...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F Mar 10

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    I Am A Recovering Alcoholic

    I was in and out of AA for many years before finally settling in some years ago. Getting a sponsor, going to meetings and not being shy about getting fellow members' phone numbers were specific actions which helped me to lose my craving for alcohol and to start making amends to...
    jpdonleavy jpdonleavy 51-55, M 7 Responses Apr 15, 2011

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    I Denied My Disease For 10 Years...

    And now I'm going on five months clean and somewhat sober. It took a move from one end of the world to another. A traumatic event times two. And two months of soul searching to get me to where I am now and I've still a long way to go. There's no doubt about that. My journey...
    CharlieDell33 CharlieDell33 31-35 4 Responses Sep 8, 2012

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    AN OPEN LETTER FROM AN ALCOHOLIC I am an

    alcoholic. I need your help. Don't lecture , blame or scold me. You wouldn't be angry at me for having cancer or diabetes. Alcoholism is a disease, too. Don't pour out my liquor, it's just a waste of time because I can always find ways of getting more. Don't me provoke your...
    sexiskey sexiskey 41-45, F 7 Responses Feb 5

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    Being humbled by a 'borderline' alcoholic

    I had just returned to the apartment complex from an early morning errand today when another resident I'd never seen before approached me and, in a near mania that I didn't understand then but would shortly, begged me for a ride across the city during rush hour to an appointment...
    cmmacneil cmmacneil 51-55, M 12 Responses Aug 30, 2012

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    Feb. 26. Twelve Step Programs.

    I was furious when I found myself at my first Al-Anon meeting. It seemed so unfair that he had the problem and I had to go to a meeting. But by that time, I had nowhere left in the world to go with my pain. Now, I'm grateful for Al-Anon and my codependency recovery. Al-Anon...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F Feb 26

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    My Bottle Was My Best Friend/Worst Enemy.

    I've been "recovering" since jan 2nd 2012, no more waking up and instantly reaching for the whiskey bottle to calm the shaking and make my mind stop spinning erratically and also to make the day easier to face and escape reality with... my eyes opening to the bottle of jack...
    deleted deleted 26-30 8 Responses Jul 27, 2013

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    I'm coming up on my 6 months of sobriety.

    It's been quite the road! I had a year and three months and then I took a drink in March. I was immediately drinking every day again. The monster was loose and I could not stop, again. I thought drinking would quiet the obsession but it just exploded. After a painful,disgusting...
    baristasteph baristasteph 26-30, F 8 Responses Dec 8, 2013

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    March 7. Fulfillment.

    Everything I need shall be provided today. Everything. Say it, until you believe it. Say it at the beginning of the day. Say it throughout the day. Sometimes, it helps to know what we want and need. But if we don't, we can trust that God does. When we ask, trust, and believe...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F Mar 7

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    Meaningless. I am more

    than alive today. I am more than just "sober" today. I am more than I was so many years ago. This is the result of the steps for me, where people drinking and the sight of alcohol means nothing. Most 12 steppers fear the outside world I don't. I didn't see "drunk people" this...
    StarWanderer StarWanderer 56-60, M 1 Response Dec 26, 2013

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    March 6. Peace. Anxiety is often our first

    reaction to conflict, problems, or even our own fears. In those moments, detaching and getting peaceful may seem disloyal or apathetic. We think: If I really care, I'll worry; if this is really important to me, I must stay upset. We convince ourselves that outcomes will be...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F 2 Responses Mar 6

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    I am at a stage of confusion,

    just started using antabuse as my drinking parten is now affecting my work.Work to me is the only thing I cannot afford to loose because everytime I'm and down almost out,I can always build from that. I still have my wife and children a home though still renting but lots of depts...
    Luqa2 Luqa2 41-45, M 5 Responses Mar 16

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    People Don't Understand Alcoholism

    It's pretty frustrating. I've been trying to explain the things we alcoholics go through to my family countless times. It's never quite working. I want them so desperately to understand! I've given up on trying to explain the emotional side of it, they'll never really understand...
    drychicken drychicken 31-35 4 Responses Sep 28, 2013

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    Alcoholism Can Be Cured Despite A.A.'s Contention To The Contrary

    By Dr. Arthur H. Cain From the September 19, 1964 Saturday Evening Post. An expert charges that Alcoholics anonymous has become a dogmatic cult that blocks medical progress and hampers many members' lives. It is time we made a thorough investigation of Alcoholics Anonymous in the...
    TheCrabbyAngel TheCrabbyAngel 41-45 5 Responses Mar 31, 2013

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    I’ve understood all along

    that God cannot know ego and that ego cannot know God. God only knows that a Part of It is unhappy and has sent Help to undo the unhappiness. The ego only knows that there is Something Else that gets your attention. They are diametrically opposed and so have nothing in common...
    StarWanderer StarWanderer 56-60, M Mar 31

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    4 Months Sober

    I feel a lot better now.  I've quit drinking before (2 1/2 years) so I know I can't get too confident.  It is nice though to not be blowing all my money on alcohol and to never wake up hung-over or black out and not remember what I've done.
    ReformedAutomaton ReformedAutomaton 36-40, M 30 Responses Jun 5, 2007

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    March 5. Be Who You Are.

    When I meet people or get in a new relationship, I start putting all these repressive restrictions on myself. I can't have my feelings. Can't have my wants and needs. Can't have my history. Can't do the things I want, feel the feelings I'm feeling, or say what I need to say. I...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F Mar 5

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    March 8. Surrender. Made a decision to turn

    our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understood Him. —Step Three of Al-Anon Surrendering to a Power greater than ourselves is how we become empowered. We become empowered in a new, better, more effective way than we believed possible. Doors open. Windows...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F Mar 8

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    "just To Spread The Word"

    Hi everyone; This is more of a little notification than a story. I have told my story her already and it is always freash in my mind. I still thank God every day for giving me the will power and him help for me to quit for good. but what I want to say is that last week on...
    tabitha1960 tabitha1960 51-55, F 4 Responses Jan 17, 2013

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