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I Am a Recovering Alcoholic

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 720 People

    Well I feel good today.

    My side isn't hurting any longer, my anxiety is lessening thanks to the pills. I feel a sense of calm and determination. I think I'll start going out the house more often. This is good.
    IloveLife14 IloveLife14 31-35, F 11 Responses Jan 24

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    My Second Chance

    I've been an alcoholic for what seems like an eternity, although I know it's not. I'm in my early 30ies, live in Europe and have been drinking since I was around 22. I've been studying computer sciences, and to fight the boredom and my anxiety, I started drinking. Only beer at...
    drychicken drychicken 31-35 5 Responses Jun 2, 2013

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    To Those It May Concern...

    This is in fact an exact copy of an answer I put in someone else's topic, but I felt it 'good' enough to be posted as a separate entry...  First a joke: You know what they call an alcoholic who ran out of booze? A man with a drinking problem... Okay. I started drinking...
    jimmyrudyjump jimmyrudyjump 51-55, M 13 Responses Mar 30, 2011

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    5 years ago today I picked up this white poker

    chip at an AA meeting. It signified 1 day sober. Through the grace of God and the help of a lot of family and friends I'm still holding on to it.
    ChilliDog ChilliDog 41-45, M 5 Responses Apr 3

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    We all struggle with cravings

    and urges for the demon that dominated our lives for so long. At times it is easy, then we face strong cravings. That was my story for the first ten years of my recovery. Then something happened to change things fundamentally. My granddaughter was born early this year. As I have...
    grasser grasser 56-60, M 2 Responses May 24

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    I am an alcoholic and I have been struggling

    with this disease for almost 10 years. I have been sober since June 6th 2014, so I am about 5 and a half months clean. I haven't started working the steps yet and I don't have a sponsor. Any input on that? Any recovered alcoholics that want to chat or vent I'm here. Thanks for...
    lanadarling lanadarling 22-25, F 3 Responses Nov 21

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    1 year sober!!!!!!!!!

    ! Well it is official..... I have been sober for 1 year. It feels like my last drink was so long ago and so much has changed since then. Ahhhhhhh 1 year---- never thought it was possible and I have never been so excited and proud! Thank you to those that have helped me...
    Overwhelmed15 Overwhelmed15 26-30, F 29 Responses Sep 11

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    All ideologies are meaningless,

    whether religious or political, for it is conceptual thinking, the conceptual word, which has so unfortunately divided man. Religion is the frozen thought of man out of which they build temples I maintain that Truth is a pathless land, and you cannot approach it by any path...
    StarWanderer StarWanderer 56-60, M 1 Response Mar 30

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    Days Sober = 14

    I have hit the two week mark. I think a lot of people underestimate just how freaking hard this is for me. I still get withdrawals, and more anxiety, and cravings, and have dreams about booze, and and and. I could go on all day. All over on the billboards there are alcohol ads...
    PreferUknown PreferUknown 22-25, F 9 Responses May 27, 2013

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    My Drinking Career And How Alcoholics Anonymous Ruined It...

    My name is PrincessMaine and as of August 28, 2010, I had 6 years of sobriety with the fellowship and support of Alcoholics Anonymous... When I open up at any given commitment meeting and stand up at the podium, I usually give the same opening line, even though it's been passed...
    PrincessMaine PrincessMaine 46-50, F 151 Responses Dec 23, 2010

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    Today Is My Birthday.

    Today, I am 34. Today I am at work instead of having taken the day off to drink. Today I wasn't drinking at 10am the bottle of whiskey I would have bought last night like my other birthdays. Today my wife doesn't hate me. Today I am not embarrassed to show up at my nieces...
    ccneb ccneb 31-35, M 7 Responses Aug 2, 2013

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    Finally Went To A Damn Meeting.

    After over two weeks of totally avoiding AA meetings, I finally went this morning before work (8/6/13). I still completely hate the meetings for a combination of reasons but I also know that I am approaching the point in my sobriety where I always slip up and drink.  I know that...
    Overwhelmed15 Overwhelmed15 26-30, F 11 Responses Aug 6, 2013

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    Hate makes me want to drink.

    Oh how I am hating you today…. Hating you so so so much, so much that I just want to drink to get rid of the hate. I hate the sound of your voice, the sound of your footsteps, the look of your face. I hate how you raised or attempted to raise your children and failed. I...
    Overwhelmed15 Overwhelmed15 26-30, F 6 Responses Nov 9

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    Last October, my drinking had gotten to the

    point where a concerned out-of-town acquaintance called the local police out of concern for my well-being. Long story short, I was involuntarily admitted to a local psychiatric ward for the most lackluster suicide attempt (I drank most of a litre of vodka, had cut one wrist and...
    brattyjenn brattyjenn 41-45, F 4 Responses Jul 3

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    I think it's bullsh1t

    and unrealistic that one year "rule" about not dating in the first year. I also think it's bullsh1t as a guy, to be limited to only male sponsors. I get along better and easier with women because of my upbringing (issues with father and male authority figures. Whole different...
    Bdeath Bdeath 22-25, M 1 Response Oct 12

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    Hoping To Join That Club...

    Last Friday -- February 25th, 2011 -- I asked my doctor to help me quit drinking under medical supervision. Under sad circumstances; I need surgery for a very serious condition. My alcoholism is extremely severe. It terrifies me.  I hate having to go and buy my booze every day...
    AndrewPenney AndrewPenney 41-45 44 Responses Mar 1, 2011

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    My addiction cost me my health,

    at 24 my liver has failed and I've nearly died. I now have a degenerative bone condition secondary to alcohol abuse and am looking at a hip replacement. I wish I could have appreciated my good health before and known that the consequences to my actions would be so severe.
    itealist itealist 22-25, F 1 Response Aug 7

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    My 20th wedding anniversary is in a few months

    and I have been sober for just over half that time. Does this mean I have made amends for the despicable things I did to my wife in the nearly ten years I was drinking? Not even close. We were having dinner at our favourite restaurant last night, chatting about this and that...
    grasser grasser 56-60, M 4 Responses Jun 28

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    So. After years and years of having great luck.

    Knowing all the right people to get me out of trouble. It all finally came apart. Last night I left work about 1030pm and went to the bar. Alone. But since I drink for free there it's okay right? Well, two hours and many drinks and shots later I get behind the wheel to make...
    QBRAIDER QBRAIDER 26-30, M 1 Response Dec 6

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    13 1/2 months I have to be honest

    and say that the 6 weeks after my one year anniversary have been rough. I have not had a regular schedule at all and emotionally I'm just not feeling well. I have started to drift away from the things that I did regularly in order to make it this far into my sobriety. I have...
    Overwhelmed15 Overwhelmed15 26-30, F 5 Responses Oct 25

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    Mistakes, You've Made A Few (A tip of the hat to Lilt and ccneb)

    Ruminating on your errors and where you got it wrong, is not the same thing as learning from them. If fact it's a sure fire way to set up momentum to repeat those same mistakes later on. Guilt is a very attractive and dynamic vibratory energy. The disease gets very excited about...
    StarWanderer StarWanderer 56-60, M 1 Response Aug 13, 2013

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    Meaningless. I am more

    than alive today. I am more than just "sober" today. I am more than I was so many years ago. This is the result of the steps for me, where people drinking and the sight of alcohol means nothing. Most 12 steppers fear the outside world I don't. I didn't see "drunk people" this...
    StarWanderer StarWanderer 56-60, M 1 Response Dec 26, 2013

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    AA Doesn't Work For Atheists/Agnostics

    I recently decided that, after twenty years of heavy, almost daily drinking, and an incident that nearly cost me everything, I needed to quit my unhealthy ways and get sober for the first time in my entire adult life.  Though I had quit drinking for brief periods before...
    RedRover RedRover 36-40, F 55 Responses Jun 15, 2009

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    Don't see anything the matter here, Ma. Ain't it grand the wind stopped blowin'?

    KARLA BRADA MURDER VICTIM BY AA MEMBER   Click on to view the Karla Brada Video Story-   http://youtu.be/uABc5vUGuGY   1st video-   http://youtu.be/nua3eekMYl   I am Monica Richardson, the Founder of a grass roots movement to Make AA Safer. We took direct action to do so...
    NeoJesusOfTheMatrix NeoJesusOfTheMatrix 70+ Mar 14, 2013

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    4 Months Sober

    I feel a lot better now.  I've quit drinking before (2 1/2 years) so I know I can't get too confident.  It is nice though to not be blowing all my money on alcohol and to never wake up hung-over or black out and not remember what I've done.
    ReformedAutomaton ReformedAutomaton 36-40, M 30 Responses Jun 5, 2007

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    Being humbled by a 'borderline' alcoholic

    I had just returned to the apartment complex from an early morning errand today when another resident I'd never seen before approached me and, in a near mania that I didn't understand then but would shortly, begged me for a ride across the city during rush hour to an appointment...
    cmmacneil cmmacneil 51-55, M 12 Responses Aug 30, 2012

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    11 months This month was marked with highs

    and lows. I had, for the first time in my life, two solid weeks of total happiness, a calm and completely normal life where I was productive at work and actually felt proud of myself for doing so well. That was followed by some unexpected lows. An abusive flashback hit me hard...
    Overwhelmed15 Overwhelmed15 26-30, F 2 Responses Aug 11

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    Dancing Evergreen

             I checked the number on the incoming call vibrating in my hand. It was a call I was required, by law, to answer twenty-four hours a day seven days a week. I practice walking meditation and breathing exercises around an old historic State Penitentiary long since...
    gsparky22 gsparky22 41-45, M 9 Responses Nov 5, 2012

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    Safe House? Mark Burchell

    Farmington Hills, Mich. - Recovery homes are supposed to be safe havens for addicts to heal after they get out of rehab. But instead of helping addicts rebuild their lives, a local sobriety leader is accused by several women of preying on them. He’s been hailed as a saint in...
    TheePanther TheePanther 70+ May 9, 2013

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    Holding Your Hands Up.......

    Having gone through myself the devastation that the alchohol illness can cause, I find it horrible when i hear people blaming the person themselves for the pain that they cause while they are drinking. Yes it is ultimately down to the person themselves to stop drinking, but its...
    emmaB7 emmaB7 31-35, F Nov 23, 2012

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    As much as it is scary to admit,

    sobriety is becoming a very enjoyable experience for me. These last few weeks have been incredibly challenging but I have survived them and I have come out of the experiences in a far more solid place in terms of my sobriety and my ability to enjoy my new life. Two weeks ago I...
    Overwhelmed15 Overwhelmed15 26-30, F 5 Responses Jun 28

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    Day 1- Again (But For The LAST Time)

    Last night I ended my streak of sobriety at 50 days. I had one drink and then stopped. Today I find myself starting back at Day 1. I have had to start over before but this time is going to be different. This will be the LAST time I ever start over. I had no idea how I was going...
    Overwhelmed15 Overwhelmed15 26-30, F 11 Responses Sep 11, 2013

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    I have spent the last 4 years battling to come

    to terms with the fact that I can never drink alcohol again. went to rehab, very hard thing I've ever done, faced my demons and found out who I really am. I've been battling the booze for the last 36 years and at this moment in time I am currently 15 months clean. So if anyone...
    kinkyman23 kinkyman23 46-50, M 4 Responses Apr 26

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    Alcoholism Can Be Cured Despite A.A.'s Contention To The Contrary

    By Dr. Arthur H. Cain From the September 19, 1964 Saturday Evening Post. An expert charges that Alcoholics anonymous has become a dogmatic cult that blocks medical progress and hampers many members' lives. It is time we made a thorough investigation of Alcoholics Anonymous in the...
    TheCrabbyAngel TheCrabbyAngel 46-50 7 Responses Mar 31, 2013

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    The Gift He hands me a package wrapped in

    silver paper with a hot pink bow on top. The box is square and thin, with a little weight to it. He says nothing as he hands it to me and I say nothing in response. This is what he does to me. He paralyzes my mind. I can’t speak. I can’t think. I take the box. I obey. I...
    Overwhelmed15 Overwhelmed15 26-30, F 3 Responses Nov 30

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    9 months! It doesn’t

    even seem real. This month has been a lot of struggle with my self-esteem. I don’t at all feel worthy or deserving on a regular basis, which allows me to slip into pretty deep dark spells in my head. I have spent 25 years being abused or abusing myself and I am finding it...
    Overwhelmed15 Overwhelmed15 26-30, F 5 Responses Jun 11

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    3 Months Sober!!!!!!!

    !!! I have somehow managed stay sober for 3 months…  How? I don’t really know. Perhaps. It was luck??  No ******* way….   Actually, to be completely honest, I have fought like hell and accepted an enormous amount of support in order to maintain my sobriety.   Sobriety...
    Overwhelmed15 Overwhelmed15 26-30, F 9 Responses Dec 11, 2013

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    Today I decided that it is time

    for me to honestly and genuinely start accepting the success in my life. I am someone who has always worked hard in an effort to overcome what I felt like were handicaps in my life. At the very same time I have always done everything in my power to avoid the attention that seems...
    Overwhelmed15 Overwhelmed15 26-30, F 5 Responses Aug 21

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    Two Months!!!!

    I have been sober for two months now and some days feel pretty good while some days/nights are still proving to be some of the worst nights of my life. I am having a hell of a time establishing a new routine in my sober life and I have ended up putting myself closer to relapse...
    Overwhelmed15 Overwhelmed15 26-30, F 8 Responses Nov 11, 2013

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    Some days are so full of memories

    that it is nearly impossible to resist a drink. This weekend for me is one of those times. This weekend is harder than the holidays by far. I lost a very good friend the summer after my first year of college. I went away for college but kept in very close contact with her and...
    Overwhelmed15 Overwhelmed15 26-30, F 3 Responses May 3

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    Let the countdown begin….

    ☺ Only NINE days away from my one-year anniversary has me in a rather reflective mood. I can’t help but sit back and think about the puzzle that is life. Life seems to be comprised of many many little puzzle pieces that fit together in such a way that makes the world make...
    Overwhelmed15 Overwhelmed15 26-30, F 6 Responses Sep 2

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    Even as committed as I am to staying sober,

    and as much as I loath the idea of drinking again, I must admit, if I walk past a pub and I have money in my pocket, I still feel a certain craving, a desire to go in and have maybe just one... Thankfully, the extent to which I feel that is far less than that to which I hate...
    anothernightowl anothernightowl 36-40, M 1 Response Dec 4

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    I found out about A.A.

    as the result of the court system A big "no no" in the fellowship and it wasn't about some traffic offense. I ended up in rehab and as a result of the group therapy I started to experience a total cessation of emotion and almost all thought with no identification of "me" at all...
    StarWanderer StarWanderer 56-60, M 2 Responses May 12

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    actually, I choose to call myself a child of

    the living God, that is in recovery from alcohol. I refuse to identify myself with the sin I used to commit. I know if i drank again, I would be back in the same sad state I was in before I quit drinking, over 25 years ago. With the help of sponsors, accountability partners...
    jesusfreak247 jesusfreak247 61-65 Apr 19

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    I am 50 days sober, I have been suffering this

    disease since I was 11. I've been in the program for about a month and do not have a sponsor yet. Can I talk to someone when I need it? Message me?
    cawnbread cawnbread 18-21, F 3 Responses Nov 29

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    10 months Thinking about how I have been sober

    for 10 months is completely overwhelming and doesn’t seem real. In fact, it sort of makes me feel panic to think about how far I have come and how I have actually managed to live a better sober life. I am still having a lot of struggles with things despite my sobriety. I am...
    Overwhelmed15 Overwhelmed15 26-30, F 6 Responses Jul 11

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    AN OPEN LETTER FROM AN ALCOHOLIC I am an

    alcoholic. I need your help. Don't lecture , blame or scold me. You wouldn't be angry at me for having cancer or diabetes. Alcoholism is a disease, too. Don't pour out my liquor, it's just a waste of time because I can always find ways of getting more. Don't me provoke your...
    sexiskey sexiskey 41-45, F 13 Responses Feb 5

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    8 months sober and I really need some advice….

    Please! This month was really hard emotionally. I am really struggling to find any sort of balance in this new sober life. I am struggling at work and at home, emotionally I feel like I can’t settle down and remain calm. This month I successfully struggled through the...
    Overwhelmed15 Overwhelmed15 26-30, F 6 Responses May 11

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    I Denied My Disease For 10 Years...

    And now I'm going on five months clean and somewhat sober. It took a move from one end of the world to another. A traumatic event times two. And two months of soul searching to get me to where I am now and I've still a long way to go. There's no doubt about that. My journey...
    CharlieDell33 CharlieDell33 31-35 4 Responses Sep 8, 2012

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    Progress is an interesting concept.

    So often since the beginning of my journey into a new sober life I have been craving it, wanting to move faster and faster forward, to seperate myself from my past at light speed, often unhappy with slow days or what I felt like were wasted moments. Progress so far has come in...
    Overwhelmed15 Overwhelmed15 26-30, F 3 Responses Jun 3

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    And I want to thank my gf

    for it she's my whole life
    javies99 javies99 13-15, M Jul 17

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