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I Am a Recovering Self-harmer

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 308 People

    It's been about two weeks

    since I last cut. I had the urge Sunday so I went outside and beat a tree with a broom. 😕
    PurpleHart PurpleHart 16-17, F 1 Response Jul 15

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    My Story: Self Harm

    I started self harming in eighth grade. I was still recovering emotionally from my parents divorce when I was in sixth grade. In sixth grade I was thrust into the responsibility of being a parent figure to my younger siblings, and two out of the three have ADHD. Taking care of...
    littleoneforever littleoneforever 16-17, F 1 Response Oct 8, 2012

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    10 weeks clean tomorrow!

    No cutting, burning, or starving myself! I'm not normally proud of myself but I can honestly say I am proud of what I have done so far! I hope to make it to the 3 month mark and farther!
    avey10 avey10 18-21, F Jun 1

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    i'm getting better. i'm really getting

    somewhere this time i thin i've not cut for a couple of months now, i've not scratched, bit or hit myself. i don't feel the need like i used to, i don't spend most of the day planning how i was going to do it and where and how i'd have to hide it. i'm getting there, i just hope...
    makeitsomeday makeitsomeday 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 4

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    I was self harm free

    for about five months, and one day I started having rushing thoughts I started overthinking everything I saw everything that wasn't bad as a horrible thing . I was anxious I started looking for relief when I found a box I had hidden from myself . In that box I had blades and...
    uunbroken uunbroken 13-15, F Apr 17

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    Step Follows Step

    I have been a self-harmer for almost three years now. I want to stop hurting myself this way, but I have to fight myself over it frequently. Every time I feel the need to burn myself or slice myself open it gets harder to resist again. Last week I gave in after a month of...
    Xenobia Xenobia 22-25, F 2 Responses Nov 9, 2009

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    Recovery Realizing that you're worth

    it Experiencing true happiness Caring about yourself Overcoming your own demons Validating your worth Eating without regret Relapse-it's bound to happen, and that's ok Yearning to live I found this on the internet a few weeks ago, and I've realized that this really IS what...
    EmoSakurachan EmoSakurachan 16-17 Dec 27, 2013

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    This world This world is

    but a city, corrupt, burnt, and fallen. Its soul has gone black. This world is but a scar, torn, shattered, and broken. Its damage can’t be healed. This world is but a curse, dark, hollow, and lost. Its wounds self inflicted. This world is but a memory. Ancient, painful...
    imrolling imrolling 18-21, F 2 Responses Jun 1

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    18.5 weeks clean...I've been doing a good job

    but today I lost another friend...a friend of mine says he still has feelings for me and even though I've told him I just want to be friends he wants to be more and he said it's bugging him so much that he needs a break from me..so he doesn't want to see me or anything until he...
    avey10 avey10 18-21, F Jul 31

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    11.5 weeks harm free

    but I'm having a hard time. I have bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder which is making my life hard plus I just lost a good friend. Things have been hard and when things get hard it's easy to turn to self harm, but I'm really trying to stay strong. I'm just...
    avey10 avey10 18-21, F Jun 12

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    For the past 3 years of my life I have self

    harmed almost every single day, but this is the first time I have ever been able to say that I am 1 month clean and I have never felt this confident in my life, honestly. I just don't see how self harm really helps me with anything, it just distracted me from dealing with my...
    originalitydied originalitydied 13-15, F 1 day ago

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    5 weeks clean. It not a lot

    but it's something. Still have urges everyday but that'll last a while, maybe years so I'll just have to keep fighting it, everyday I find reasons as to why I should harm myself and it's like an addiction too but so far harming has not lead me to a happy life only this cycle of...
    avey10 avey10 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 29

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    Almost cut last night,

    I was upset and I was sitting in the bathroom holding my razor and I was crying of course because I was torn over what to do. I had the urge to do it but I thought about all the hard work to get to where I was and I managed to put the razor down for the night. I was hoping that...
    avey10 avey10 18-21, F Jun 30

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    6.5 months clean yesterday!

    ! Gaaaahhh how did this happen?!? Who'd of thought I was strong enough for that :O every week I get farther and farther away from it but every week feels like the first week of accomplishment it never gets old even though the scars do, you never forget where you came from and you...
    avey10 avey10 18-21, F 2 Responses Sep 23

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    23 weeks clean today!

    ! 1 more week and it'll be 6 months can't wait!!
    avey10 avey10 18-21, F 1 Response Sep 1

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    The last time I cut myself was yesterday.

    I regret it, and I'm trying so hard to recover. But I black out and my mind just shuts down and I lose control. Then I can't remember what I did after I did it. I don't know how to gain dominance over these feelings. I want to stop. I've tried several different ways to get my...
    pennyly pennyly 13-15, F 2 Responses Jul 19

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    Idk If I'm recovering.

    ..? Since I did it like last week...:/ but I would like to find ppl like me...
    slenderlovefoeeva2367 slenderlovefoeeva2367 13-15, F 6 Responses May 13

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    11 weeks clean today!

    Hooray for squashing the "little monster". I'm so happy I've made it this far. 3 month mark here I come!!
    avey10 avey10 18-21, F Jun 9

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    I haven't self harmed

    for 3 years and I'm still recovering from my past..
    Brookedrumm Brookedrumm 16-17, F 1 Response Nov 19

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    5 months clean today!

    !! So happy!
    avey10 avey10 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 11

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    7 and 1/2 weeks clean!

    The urges are still there but they are getting better. I am hopeful that the more I stay clean the less the urges will affect me. My therapy also seems to be helping and my meds have finally started working, so things seem to be coming together I can't wait until I get past the...
    avey10 avey10 18-21, F May 16

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    19 weeks clean today.

    ..that's right!! Every week I just get more excited!! I can't believe I'm almost at 5 months...last time I made it 4 and I lost it all...this time is different I'm getting stronger and stronger...like my tattoo says I've got to have strength in every area of life...being a...
    avey10 avey10 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 4

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    I'm reaching 11 months clean

    but in the back of my mind I still see myself and remember how great it felt, I know It isn't good but there's always that little picture in the back of my head
    totalnoteover totalnoteover 13-15, F 1 Response Dec 1

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    Lately I've decided to really try to stoop self

    harming and so far it is going really well. I'm still not ready to recover from my ED (eating disorder) but self harm has made such a big impact in my life that it's become an addiction and a obsession and it is incredibly unhealthy- physically and mentally. Wish me luck xxx...
    littlecrazymia littlecrazymia 13-15, F 5 Responses Nov 18

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    So happy I made it to the 4 month mark a few

    days ago!!! Still staying strong even though the urges won't settle!! For now I'm winning :)
    avey10 avey10 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 16

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    And I got hit by pretty bad urges tonight

    and I'm trying not to give in after almost a year clean.
    suchi715 suchi715 16-17, F 2 Responses Oct 11

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    2 months and 3 days clean!

    ! I almost cut today I had my razor in my hand but I put it down. I chose to fight it, I call the urge the "little monster" and I beat the monster today. For once I am proud of myself and I am never proud of myself for anything! I can't wait to make it 9 weeks self harm free!
    avey10 avey10 18-21, F 5 Responses May 22

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    I was 4 months self harm free

    but then I relapsed. Now I'm 3 weeks clean no where near 4 months but I'll hopefully get there. I'm just fighting the urge, fighting the addiction. It's not easy but that's what recovery is all about, having the strength to get through the pain. I hope I last 4 months again and...
    avey10 avey10 18-21, F Apr 17

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    lovealwayz lovealwayz 16-17, F Sep 22

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    17 weeks clean...FREEDOM!

    !! Loving it the urges are slowly going away as I am realizing nothing is worth cutting over, when I'm hurting u won't contribute to myself hurting more!!
    avey10 avey10 18-21, F Jul 22

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    I surprisingly fought the urge last night.

    I thought about it in the shower, and I picked up the razor, told myself later, but I never did it. :)
    EmoSakurachan EmoSakurachan 16-17 1 Response Apr 1

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    I am literally so happy

    that my physical scars are fading . There are barely any visible scars on my arms . People don't ask questions anymore . I don't get nervous dancing or letting people see my body . I am at a really good place . I still think about it all the time but I'm stronger than that .
    Alylovespuppies Alylovespuppies 18-21, F 2 Responses Nov 18

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    3 days clean. It's rather tough,

    the triggers are everyone and everything, everywhere
    ExoticSnow ExoticSnow 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 20

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    I Dont Know If I Should Even Call Myself Recovering

    I am on the path to stopping but like everyone knows its easier said that done. I hate that im a self harmer, and i know a lot of people think im pathetic and such but when you have absolutely no one to turn to, and you dont know how to get rid of these feelings inside of you...
    UmbraEyes UmbraEyes 18-21, F 2 Responses Jan 8, 2012

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    since the age of 12 i have self harmed,

    i have a lot of scars and i regret them all but i still cant help but cut myself, however i used to do it daily and now its once a week or so, i am going through dbt therapy which is helping and slowly i am self harming less, i am determined to beat self harm one day x
    fantasycaver fantasycaver 22-25, F 2 Responses Aug 2

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    Faded Scars

    I am a recovering cutter. But tonight, I look at the faded scar tissue up and down my wrists, throat, thighs, ankles, hands and stomach; and there is a part of me that wants more. It's a sick addiction, I know. But the pain I feel right now, or should be feeling I guess, is not...
    klizanne klizanne 16-17, F Feb 1, 2013

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    Imdestroyed Imdestroyed 13-15, F 1 Response Jul 21

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    10 years. From the young age of 9.

    That's when it started. I remember the first time. .. The drama. .. The tears. ..The silence. ..The blood. But I also remember the sheer relief that followed. It took me a few years to tell my mum. Even after she found out, I didn't tell her when I hurt myself. It got so bad...
    TheOriginalDarkHorse TheOriginalDarkHorse 18-21, F 1 Response May 18

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    I am recovered, haven't cut

    since January. Anyone out there who is cutting, you can make it through this. All it takes is determination and support. :)
    left4deadspace left4deadspace 16-17, M Sep 1

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    I have legs covered in white lines.

    Its disgusting. Self harm is disgusting, I hate it and I regret all of it but I'm moving in with my life and I'm alive - that's what matters
    ararison ararison 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 12

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    And today I relapsed

    after a year clean.
    suchi715 suchi715 16-17, F Oct 14

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    I have been self-harming in some way

    for almost 12 years. I am currently 17, I will be 18 this year (2014) . I have had my relapses and previously had only been capable of being clean for a month. This try however, has been TWO months and a week. Recovery is possible. Im on here to talk about my story, how to...
    BrokenButNotBeaten BrokenButNotBeaten 18-21, F May 9

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    On Saturday I will be one week clean

    and that's an accomplishment considering what I used to be
    lydiathethingy lydiathethingy 13-15, F Nov 6

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    8 months clean today.

    Super proud of myself for this tiny accomplishment. :)
    TheSongPlaysWithin TheSongPlaysWithin 18-21, F Sep 23

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    It's been 3 months and 2 days

    since I last harmed. It's getting more and more difficult to stay strong, I posted not too long ago that I was struggling and I still am. Everything in my life is taking it's toll on me and staying harm free is incredibly difficult when that's all you know when things get tough...
    avey10 avey10 18-21, F 3 Responses Jun 18

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    7 months today!!! Every month

    that passes I put it more and more behind me. In 3 short months it will be a year since I self harmed, so great to keep the fight up! It's so far behind me that I rarely have urges, I think about it but my thoughts are more about how far I've come rather than about the action of...
    avey10 avey10 18-21, F 3 Responses Oct 6

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    I have been clean for 7 months

    and 16 days. I think about hurting myself every day. Every minute is a struggle. I don't know how to erase the urges. I need to let go of my scars and move on but I lay in bed wishing I could bring physical pain to myself. It's just getting so hard and I don't know who I am...
    clairemariec clairemariec 13-15, F Nov 17

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    Related Experiences

    I've tried so hard to stop but it's the biggest release I have It got so bad It was effecting me at school and people noticed I was pulled in for a really long meeting with a...
    AdventureIsAlwaysAroundTheBend AdventureIsAlwaysAroundTheBend 16-17, F 1 Response Dec 7

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    I self harm just about every day. But for what? Why do we do these things to ourselves? I mean I know why but... I started cutting when I was around 16 or 17, but then later...
    trayomis trayomis 31-35, F 1 Response 5 days ago

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    I am such a hypocrite cuz I don't support cutting yet I do it. I started in like 5th grade due to a bullying problem. I pulled out erasers and used the metal at the end of pencils...
    Noaz45 Noaz45 18-21, M Dec 7

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    I don't do it as much as I used to because I don't have a lot of time to myself anymore. But I started in 2012 on Halloween. Me and mom had gotten into an argument and I couldn't...
    SweetcakesJr SweetcakesJr 13-15, F 1 Response Dec 9

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