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I Am a Recovering Self-harmer

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 387 People

    I'm reaching 11 months clean

    but in the back of my mind I still see myself and remember how great it felt, I know It isn't good but there's always that little picture in the back of my head
    totalnoteover totalnoteover 13-15, F 1 Response Dec 1, 2014

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    7 and 1/2 weeks clean!

    The urges are still there but they are getting better. I am hopeful that the more I stay clean the less the urges will affect me. My therapy also seems to be helping and my meds have finally started working, so things seem to be coming together I can't wait until I get past the...
    avey10 avey10 18-21, F May 16, 2014

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    2 months and 3 days clean!

    ! I almost cut today I had my razor in my hand but I put it down. I chose to fight it, I call the urge the "little monster" and I beat the monster today. For once I am proud of myself and I am never proud of myself for anything! I can't wait to make it 9 weeks self harm free!
    avey10 avey10 18-21, F 5 Responses May 22, 2014

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    11.5 weeks harm free

    but I'm having a hard time. I have bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder which is making my life hard plus I just lost a good friend. Things have been hard and when things get hard it's easy to turn to self harm, but I'm really trying to stay strong. I'm just...
    avey10 avey10 18-21, F Jun 12, 2014

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    10 weeks clean tomorrow!

    No cutting, burning, or starving myself! I'm not normally proud of myself but I can honestly say I am proud of what I have done so far! I hope to make it to the 3 month mark and farther!
    avey10 avey10 18-21, F Jun 1, 2014

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    I haven't self harmed

    for 3 years and I'm still recovering from my past..
    Brookedrumm Brookedrumm 16-17, F 1 Response Nov 19, 2014

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    So, I've been clean for 3

    or 4 weeks now, and for some reason, all I've wanted to do today is cut.. I don't know what to do.. Got any ideas?
    UnderTheSleeves UnderTheSleeves 13-15, F 4 Responses Mar 19

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    Idk If I'm recovering.

    ..? Since I did it like last week...:/ but I would like to find ppl like me...
    slenderlovefoeeva2367 slenderlovefoeeva2367 13-15, F 6 Responses May 13, 2014

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    I am literally so happy

    that my physical scars are fading . There are barely any visible scars on my arms . People don't ask questions anymore . I don't get nervous dancing or letting people see my body . I am at a really good place . I still think about it all the time but I'm stronger than that .
    Alylovespuppies Alylovespuppies 18-21, F 2 Responses Nov 18, 2014

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    On Saturday I will be one week clean

    and that's an accomplishment considering what I used to be
    lydiathethingy lydiathethingy 16-17, F Nov 6, 2014

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    I surprisingly fought the urge last night.

    I thought about it in the shower, and I picked up the razor, told myself later, but I never did it. :)
    EmoSakurachan EmoSakurachan 18-21 1 Response Apr 1, 2014

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    6.5 months clean yesterday!

    ! Gaaaahhh how did this happen?!? Who'd of thought I was strong enough for that :O every week I get farther and farther away from it but every week feels like the first week of accomplishment it never gets old even though the scars do, you never forget where you came from and you...
    avey10 avey10 18-21, F 1 Response Sep 23, 2014

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    Today makes six months,

    a full half a year, since I threw away my razors. I did make a mistake, shortly after I got in a wreck and didn't know how to deal with the aftermath of feeling so tired and down....and I would have started the count all over again...but my very loving girlfriend Sunny said no...
    SunnysBlueForever SunnysBlueForever 18-21, F 4 Responses Jul 3

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    I relapsed again after 3 months.

    Things are not getting any easier..
    cayelynnnn cayelynnnn 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 31, 2014

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    7 months today!!! Every month

    that passes I put it more and more behind me. In 3 short months it will be a year since I self harmed, so great to keep the fight up! It's so far behind me that I rarely have urges, I think about it but my thoughts are more about how far I've come rather than about the action of...
    avey10 avey10 18-21, F 3 Responses Oct 6, 2014

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    5 months clean today!

    !! So happy!
    avey10 avey10 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 11, 2014

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    1 month clean so far.

    You wouldn't believe the withdrawals I've gone through
    BooBear99 BooBear99 16-17, F 1 Response Dec 27, 2014

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    17 weeks clean...FREEDOM!

    !! Loving it the urges are slowly going away as I am realizing nothing is worth cutting over, when I'm hurting u won't contribute to myself hurting more!!
    avey10 avey10 18-21, F Jul 22, 2014

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    I have been self-harming in some way

    for almost 12 years. I am currently 17, I will be 18 this year (2014) . I have had my relapses and previously had only been capable of being clean for a month. This try however, has been TWO months and a week. Recovery is possible. Im on here to talk about my story, how to...
    BrokenButNotBeaten BrokenButNotBeaten 18-21, F May 9, 2014

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    It's been a couple months

    since my last episode. It's exhausting living a life with self harm. If you have any questions about self harm just comment or message me. Please be respectful. I will try to answer the best to my ability.
    TickleMeCell TickleMeCell 18-21, T 1 Response Apr 8

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    10 years. From the young age of 9.

    That's when it started. I remember the first time. .. The drama. .. The tears. ..The silence. ..The blood. But I also remember the sheer relief that followed. It took me a few years to tell my mum. Even after she found out, I didn't tell her when I hurt myself. It got so bad...
    TheOriginalDarkHorse TheOriginalDarkHorse 18-21, F 1 Response May 18, 2014

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    I mess up sometimes, I do.

    But I am so much better than I used to. 'I haven't self harmed in over half a year (minus some minor mess ups, maybe 3-5 times.) I'm scared of it getting worse again, but so far, so good. It used to be so messed up... Jesus! What the hell was I doing? Oh well... It barely...
    bluecupcakes bluecupcakes 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 20

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    5 weeks clean. It not a lot

    but it's something. Still have urges everyday but that'll last a while, maybe years so I'll just have to keep fighting it, everyday I find reasons as to why I should harm myself and it's like an addiction too but so far harming has not lead me to a happy life only this cycle of...
    avey10 avey10 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 29, 2014

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    yesterday (24th of March) was.

    .. It was hard. I didn't feel bad or anxious until late night, and even then it wasn't that bad really. I however had a problem. At about mid-day I started to get this really strong need to self harm again. It wasn't even an urge, I felt I needed it. ''''''i have't self harmed in...
    bluecupcakes bluecupcakes 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 25

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    And today I relapsed

    after a year clean.
    suchi715 suchi715 16-17, F Oct 14, 2014

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    Lately I've decided to really try to stoop self

    harming and so far it is going really well. I'm still not ready to recover from my ED (eating disorder) but self harm has made such a big impact in my life that it's become an addiction and a obsession and it is incredibly unhealthy- physically and mentally. Wish me luck xxx...
    littlecrazymia littlecrazymia 13-15, F 4 Responses Nov 18, 2014

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    i'm getting better. i'm really getting

    somewhere this time i thin i've not cut for a couple of months now, i've not scratched, bit or hit myself. i don't feel the need like i used to, i don't spend most of the day planning how i was going to do it and where and how i'd have to hide it. i'm getting there, i just hope...
    makeitsomeday makeitsomeday 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 4, 2014

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    lovealwayz lovealwayz 16-17, F Sep 22, 2014

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    I havent felt like this in a long time,

    but I'm just not feeling good today at all. I'm just angry and sad, I'm not quite sure why. I can't handle being with people while I'm like this because I'm afraid I will hurt someone
    ToriKilljoy ToriKilljoy 18-21, F 2 Responses Jan 30

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    I used to cut myself

    but then I realized there was no need cause it wasn't going to solve any problems and it's just an addiction and we are all worth it somehow. It was a hard process and I did it but now I need some advice. My friend started cutting not too long ago and she showed me a picture of...
    Emsickles Emsickles 13-15, F Jul 10

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    19 weeks clean today.

    ..that's right!! Every week I just get more excited!! I can't believe I'm almost at 5 months...last time I made it 4 and I lost it all...this time is different I'm getting stronger and stronger...like my tattoo says I've got to have strength in every area of life...being a...
    avey10 avey10 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 4, 2014

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    8 months clean today.

    Super proud of myself for this tiny accomplishment. :)
    TheSongPlaysWithin TheSongPlaysWithin 18-21, F Sep 23, 2014

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    I have legs covered in white lines.

    Its disgusting. Self harm is disgusting, I hate it and I regret all of it but I'm moving in with my life and I'm alive - that's what matters
    ararison ararison 22-25, F Jun 12, 2014

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    So happy I made it to the 4 month mark a few

    days ago!!! Still staying strong even though the urges won't settle!! For now I'm winning :)
    avey10 avey10 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 16, 2014

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    I cut my self almost daily

    for about a year and half. I have finally been clean since late August, I have never felt so good in so long.
    jess965 jess965 13-15, F 1 Response Jan 3

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    For the past 3 years of my life I have self

    harmed almost every single day, but this is the first time I have ever been able to say that I am 1 month clean and I have never felt this confident in my life, honestly. I just don't see how self harm really helps me with anything, it just distracted me from dealing with my...
    originalitydied originalitydied 13-15, F 3 Responses Dec 18, 2014

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    I'm trying so hard...

    I'm a scratcher and my mum made me promise not to do it anymore she says I have no reason to do it but she doesn't understand it's not just when I'm upset it's whenever I feel the need. I just want it to stop I feel like someone with serious problems and I don't want to be. I...
    Robinwing Robinwing 13-15 May 22

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    It was a year ago. I started it

    for a stupid reason. On a whim, I thought I'd try it. My first time I made three cuts. I thought taking the blade slowly across my skin was how it was done. A week later, I discovered the rush of running it hard and fast; the bite hit me instantly. Like love at first sight. My...
    EvaianRae EvaianRae 18-21, F Jul 24

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    I am recovered, haven't cut

    since January. Anyone out there who is cutting, you can make it through this. All it takes is determination and support. :)
    left4deadspace left4deadspace 18-21, M Sep 1, 2014

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    I was 4 months self harm free

    but then I relapsed. Now I'm 3 weeks clean no where near 4 months but I'll hopefully get there. I'm just fighting the urge, fighting the addiction. It's not easy but that's what recovery is all about, having the strength to get through the pain. I hope I last 4 months again and...
    avey10 avey10 18-21, F Apr 17, 2014

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    I was self harm free

    for about five months, and one day I started having rushing thoughts I started overthinking everything I saw everything that wasn't bad as a horrible thing . I was anxious I started looking for relief when I found a box I had hidden from myself . In that box I had blades and...
    uunbroken uunbroken 16-17, F Apr 17, 2014

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    And I got hit by pretty bad urges tonight

    and I'm trying not to give in after almost a year clean.
    suchi715 suchi715 16-17, F 2 Responses Oct 11, 2014

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    11 weeks clean today!

    Hooray for squashing the "little monster". I'm so happy I've made it this far. 3 month mark here I come!!
    avey10 avey10 18-21, F Jun 9, 2014

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    It's been 3 months and 2 days

    since I last harmed. It's getting more and more difficult to stay strong, I posted not too long ago that I was struggling and I still am. Everything in my life is taking it's toll on me and staying harm free is incredibly difficult when that's all you know when things get tough...
    avey10 avey10 18-21, F 2 Responses Jun 18, 2014

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    Self harming sucks. It's not fun,

    it's not beautiful, it's harmful and ugly. I almost relapsed today, it was really scary. I hate that I'm afraid to let myself go near sharp objects. I wouldn't wish this upon anyone. Even when I'm happy, elated, or just in a good mood, I still feel the need to hurt myself...
    TickleMeCell TickleMeCell 18-21, T 2 Responses May 9

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    I ****** up... It was over half a year ago!

    Now I ******* threw it all! All that work, all that pain... It's for nothing now... I threw it all away. I couldn't hate myself more right now.
    bluecupcakes bluecupcakes 18-21, F 2 Responses Apr 13

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