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I Am a Ritual Abuse Survivor

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 193 People

    Bad Day

    we are really struggling not to hurt ourself right now.we want to soooo badly. we won't.  we can't.  it's notallowed.  the protectors have a rule.  noone can harmthemselves, each other, or the body.  when the protectorsset a rule we all have to follow it whether we want to...
    TruthSpeaks71 TruthSpeaks71
    41-45
    3 Responses Aug 19, 2012

    I Ran Away From A Cult/Coven 4 Months Ago... And I'm Pregnant

    I ran away from a cult/coven that my family and all of my friends are involved in (and that I was born into) in May. At the end of May, I realized my job was a cult-front company, and I fled there, as well. I was raped repeatedly at my old job with no memory of anything but...
    Runaway22 Runaway22
    22-25, F
    1 Response Sep 23, 2012

    People Loss

     It was my dad who was involved in RA, I don't think my mom was aware of it but I'm not sure.  One of (if not my very first) splits to another alters occurred when I was just about 18 months old or so. That was when my father killed my brother. I had to watch. ...
    alalife alalife
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Sep 14, 2008

    Ritual Abuse Survivor To Famous Public Figure

    Teal Scott was born in Santa Fe New Mexico in the year 1984. In the first years of her life, it became apparent that she had been born with extrasensory abilities. Among these abilities she was born with were clairvoyance, clairsentience, clairaudience, the ability to manipulate...
    1 Response Jan 18, 2013

    Diagnosis: RA/DID

    I live in Michigan and am a survivor of RA (ritual abuse) and am DID. 14 years ago, I had a life-changing encounter with the Lord the same day I had left the family to spend time with my cousin in Georgia. I had dropped out of college due to panic attacks and social phobia. The...
    DaSSRedemption DaSSRedemption
    36-40, M
    5 Responses Jan 1, 2012

    Can Anyone Help With My Questions?

    I have a couple of questions I wanted to share with anyone who would be willing to talk with me. I am new to this site so am not sure what I am allowed to asked on here. I would appreciate anyone giving me advice. thanks
    jblm4 jblm4
    51-55
    7 Responses Apr 14, 2012

    Every Time I Wake Up...

    since i was a teenager and realized what was happening and told people and asked for help to make it stop, they do it worse and shut me up. the first time i heard to keep my mouth shut i was 16. then when it all got worse, i got yelled at for keeping my mouth shut. when your...
    moon1376 moon1376
    36-40, F
    3 Responses Mar 12, 2013

    I am just recoverring memories in pieces of the

    abuse I went through. It started when I was 3, I have scars, all small on my body. Some from knives, some that may be burns, but I'm not sure. I have a somewhat crooked face, I remember someone punching me in the face and breaking my cheek at about 3 to 4 years old. They were...
    setusfree14 setusfree14
    31-35, F
    1 Response Feb 10, 2014

    Inside The Extraordinary Life Of Jenny Hill And Her Twenty-two Multiple Personalities

    Twenty-Two Faces documents how the only known survivor-intended-victim of a modern-day human sacrifice ceremony six year-old Jenny Hill, overcomes multiplicity resulting from brainwashing, her perpetrators having subjected the child to insidious mind-control techniques culled...
    22faces 22faces
    41-45
    Jul 6, 2012

    Stuck In The Middle Between "no It Didn't" And "yes It Did"

    It is miraculous that I found this group! I have done internet searches before and have never come up with anything. So I am glad you are here. I don't have memories, only feelings like certain things happened to me. It is crazymaking! I am not DID to the point that I lose time...
    MyselfLost MyselfLost
    41-45, F
    Jan 5, 2013

    Need Help In Colorado

    my story starts with some memories about my father in dec 2011 of sex abuse then i was watching a show about child pervs and it said they will drug you in order to rape ur kids and i thought that explains these 2 drug tests back in 2005 that showed bzo (sleeping pills) and i dont...
    skye925 skye925
    36-40, F
    Sep 12, 2013

    Not a Lot of Memory

     I don't have much memory of my childhood and adolescent years... and I'm not far beyond that.  I was diagnosed as DID about 18 months ago or so. I wasn't too surprised about having alters as I was used to having people talk to me about things I supposedly did but had...
    alalife alalife
    22-25, F
    1 Response Sep 13, 2008

    Please Connect

    Hi, if anyone is a survivor of SRA and gangstalking please contact me.
    stellarstar01 stellarstar01
    41-45, F
    Jan 16, 2013

    Survival Not a Choice

    HI. I am a ritual abuse survivor. I grew up in a home where we went to church on Sundays, but in the evenings we went to SR meeting. I saw and experienced things noone would even imagine are real. It was common to see a sacrifice, or to be sexually abused and passed around...
    jewel4u32 jewel4u32
    31-35, F
    14 Responses Oct 7, 2007

    Out, Or Just Think So?

    I wonder how to know for sure if I'm out. I got rid of an ex whom I have no idea why I married. Fits cult profile blue/blond/tall. Prefer brown/brown/just taller than myself, though I don't limit myself. Everything felt better when he was finally gone. I live alone, as I want...
    Imewe Imewe
    36-40, F
    Sep 10, 2013

    Never Thought Anyone Would Believe Me

    I was raised in rituualistic abuse starting from the time i was adopted which was at 19 months old my mom was a witch and she practiced every day i remember watching her. I was told daily i was goi9ng to be the virgin sacrifice. My mom had others in the cult dont remember them...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    7 Responses Jul 18, 2011

    Looking For Help. SRA Survivor.

    I am looking for help, for a christian ministry that can help me heal from SRA. I am in Sydney Australia. Does anyone know where can I go?.
    trecedecenas trecedecenas
    36-40, M
    3 Responses Apr 2, 2013

    Ritual Abuse. A Survivor's Abc's (a Poem)

    Well, we have been here for a few days, and have tried a few times to write an introduction but we are anxious and don't know what to say. so we decided we'd start with a poem. a very little background: we are a severe abuse survivor. Sexual abuse at home from the father starting...
    TruthSpeaks71 TruthSpeaks71
    41-45
    3 Responses Aug 6, 2012

    Multi-generational Satanic Cult In NY

    Three months before the birth of my son, back in 1993, the flashbacks began fast and furious. The trigger was a conversation with my troubled brother, after which I concluded that I had been sexually abused by my father. The very first flashback was a full fledged horror show: In...
    singdad singdad
    46-50
    7 Responses Dec 13, 2010

    Still Surviving

    It started out me being living with foster mother when I was four. Yeah she raise me alright....church was mandatory every sunday. Physical, emotional, and mental was an everyday. I couldnt under stand how christian woman can be so evil. My siblings and I was the family...
    Pink53 Pink53
    26-30
    5 Responses Oct 12, 2008

    I have recently started having flashbacks of

    past ritual abuse. My family that was not part of it is in denial. They don't believe me so I act like I don't believe it myself and that I was brainwashed. Fact is I wasn't. I have days where just the way a room looks; or the way something is arranged terrifies me where I want...
    TatteredSoul24 TatteredSoul24
    22-25, F
    May 27, 2014

    I wasn't abused by family

    or as a young child. I was ritually abused when I was in high school. I was dealing with a lot of difficult stuff and was lured into a cult by someone who I thought was a friend. I have never told anyone my full story but I'm thinking of writing it up and posting it on here.
    DeviAideen DeviAideen
    22-25, F
    1 Response Sep 10, 2015

    Me

    Where to begin. I was diagnosed with D.I.D. in 1996. However, I was switching so much at the time that I did not really know about the diagnosis until 2008. I am a SRA survivor and again I did not really understand this until about 2006. I knew that I had major abuse issues...
    ambrosiakay ambrosiakay
    31-35, F
    2 Responses Feb 21, 2011

    SRA/DID Survivor

    I hardly know what to say or where to start, so lets start with I was in my early twenties before my repressed memories of SA first starting coming out, then about 6 years later was diagnosed with DID and within a year SRA memories started coming. Here I am about 3 and half years...
    Rachel4now Rachel4now
    31-35, F
    23 Responses Feb 3, 2008

    Is it possible that there are

    that many survivors of such horrible crimes against us? Why are so many in a certain ago group-seems like most are between 40-and 55. I think that the age thing is in part due to the new openness of the 60's revolution- but that's just a thought. Why are we hiding? Not that I'm...
    steveziggy steveziggy
    51-55, M
    Feb 6, 2014

    Lies And Secrets

    I was lying to myself to keep their secret. It's almost the end of march2012. It was about the beginning of feb2012 when I had my breakthrough. I'm a great actor. I learned how to act human by television. I had been with the same woman, my wife, since 1991. When we first...
    meetingself meetingself
    41-45
    5 Responses Mar 23, 2012

    Steps To Healing

    My journey into the ritual abuse survivor world began 20 years ago. I retired from a 23 year therapist career to care for an ill daughter. Knowing I was a former supervisor of mental health, several ritual abuse survivors approached me asking for help. My "volunteer" work with...
    jbyington jbyington
    66-70
    Jul 18, 2012

    I Am A Ritual Abuse Survivor Also.

    pages with information on ritual abuse http://ritualabuse.us http://childabusewiki.org/index.php?title=Ritual_Abuse   http://www.ritualabusetorture.org/ http://www.ra-info.org http://www.survivorship.org http://web.archive.org/web/20071218103952/http://www.aches-mc...
    stopritualabuse stopritualabuse
    46-50
    Nov 21, 2009

    Monarch

    Im an SRA survivor and gangstalking victim.I have endured torture drugging rape MKULTRA and V2K. You name it. They still keep tabs on me through my handler and smartphone. Sometimes I want to run away but I have no where to go. My familyhas given me to another familyand they have...
    stellarstar01 stellarstar01
    41-45, F
    Jan 16, 2013

    Many Of Us DID/SRA

    I am 23 years old and in 2010 I was diagnosed with DID/then in 2011 as memories began surfacing I went back to Timberlawn (the hospital that diagnosed me) and was diagnosed with SRA - Satanic Ritual Abuse.. I am looking for others like me to share experiences with and to give and...
    Prettykate1989 Prettykate1989
    26-30, F
    Oct 28, 2013

    Animal Abuse Part 1

    Hi I am new here but I would like to post my experiences. I dont think it is really ritual abuse but I think it comes close. This is all very embarrassing for me so apologies if this upsets anyone. I struggle to get through the days but I do manage just about. My natural dad...
    sashamoody48 sashamoody48
    18-21
    3 Responses Oct 18, 2010

    Wanting Healing

    Hi, I'm a SRA survivor.  I believe I am the only relative on both sides of my parent's families that has escaped.  It was by luck, I married a man and moved away from Utah when I was 26.  I had children and never had any memories.  Then in my early 40's I slowly began...
    hurtingalot hurtingalot
    46-50
    4 Responses Mar 4, 2012

    How To Know

    Some people believe it's fear mongering and others state that the stories are so bizarre that the claim is not to be believed. Many police forces and psychiatrists across the United States and Canada are taking ritual abuse seriously. Many states have taken this form of abuse...
    moon1376 moon1376
    36-40, F
    1 Response Mar 17, 2013

    Still Recovering From Ritual Abuse

    I was ritually abused by a Pentecostal pastor close to where my family and I lived staring at age 4 years for at least 5 years. I was a friend of his daughter initially. I remember all kinds of terrible things, including bondage, torture, mind control,drugs, prostitution...
    TotallyMiffed TotallyMiffed
    56-60
    2 Responses Aug 31, 2011

    Twenty-two Faces: Inside The Extraordinary Life Of Jenny Hill And Her Twenty-two Multiple Personalities

    Twenty-Two Faces, the biography of Jenny Hill, has just been released by Tate Publishing: Oklahoma. Referring to journals written throughout childhood, Jenny documents how as a five year-old she overcomes trauma by turning to prayer while utilizing her alter states to...
    22faces 22faces
    41-45
    Jul 6, 2012

    I am a survivor of Satanic Ritual Abuse

    and because of this I have Dissociative identity disorder (multiple personalities ). I have been in therapy now for many year but still struggle with it. I am 63 years old and my life as been hell.
    DennyAnn DennyAnn
    61-65, F
    Jan 18

    Only Good Little Girls Go To Heaven...

    PLEASE TAKE CARE WHEN YOU READ THIS. So...a little intro...we have DID/MPD and often speak in the plural because there's so many of us, and because its one of out "Bad Months" there's at least 10 + people at the front running things because every one inside is so scared to be...
    SystemK SystemK
    22-25, F
    1 Response Jul 8, 2012

    Poems By Frozen

    these poems were written between the dates of 6-30-12 and 7-17-12 by a young girl in our system named Frozen. these poems are graphic so please take care of your self. FROZEN SPRING A chill in the air a cry of despair don't cry the sun is here theres nothing to fear...
    SystemK SystemK
    22-25, F
    3 Responses Jul 20, 2012

    One Day At a Time

    I am a survivor of many forms of abuse including SRA. I often think the phrase "out of the frying pan and into the fire" best describes my past.  My abuse was by people my mother entrusted with my care.  I'm a bit shy of going into anything as I...
    Mapple Mapple
    46-50
    3 Responses May 27, 2009

    I,m A Survivor From Europe

    Hi all, i,m a survivor from Europe and was born in a aryan/nazigroup. Both of my parents and my sister are stil involved. Several years ago i was diagnosed; DID.  Since than i,m in therapy and stopped all the cotract with the cult. That wasn,t easy because than the programming...
    Stance Stance
    41-45, F
    5 Responses Jul 11, 2011

    I've been gone a long ,

    long time from the board. Is anybody out there?
    LaurenPathWalker LaurenPathWalker
    46-50, F
    Feb 25, 2014

    Sigh

    I wonder if anyone could possibly understand (other than other survivors) what it's like to be having a pretty good day... going about your life, being happy, getting stuff done, and feeling good.....while at the same time - on the inside you got someone agitated, pacing, needing...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    5 Responses Mar 20, 2012

    My Story

    I was forced into ritual abuse as a form of punishment. My stepfather had been raping me and his mother was my babysitter. He went to jail for another crime and while he was gone I decided to finally tell someone about what he was doing to me. There was a trial and all that...
    ladywhistledown ladywhistledown
    26-30, F
    15 Responses Oct 8, 2007

    In The Name Of God

    We feel so isolated right now, where we are vary happy to have found other RA survivors...but even still we feel so alone...every one eles was abused in the name of Satan or by witches or by other cults ...but we have never found any one like us who was abused in the name of god...
    SystemK SystemK
    22-25, F
    3 Responses Jul 10, 2012

    New But With A Question?

    Hello, I am new here. I have DID. I am in therapy and learning my parts, and wow it has been terrifying and exhausting and really hard. The walls are thick, the memories are terrifying and seem so major, yet so small at the same time. We must have changed our system map ten...
    wearethree wearethree
    36-40
    Jan 2, 2013

    Dear Therapist - From Sabrina

    For thos who dont know us we have a condition called DID and we found this letter on our computer and felt it needed to be shared. HUGE TRIGGER WARNING! TAKE CARE OF YOUR SELVES!. 8/14/2012 10:00 Pm Hi Harry, My names Sabrina and im 12 years old. i have been trying to write to...
    SystemK SystemK
    22-25, F
    4 Responses Oct 31, 2012

    Ritual Abuse Of Children

    to this day I carry a scar on my head. It is a place where the scalp was forceably cut away in the shape of a devils horn. I was very small and to make matters worse they dosed me on acid so the fear and trauma would and has continued for decades. of course that is not all...
    familiarjackal familiarjackal
    56-60, M
    5 Responses Apr 10, 2012

    Not Going To Let The Bastards Win!

    I was involved in SRA for 50 years, getting out only 18 months ago. I have gotten out before but was always brought back in. Hope I'm out for good this time. I have DID and am often suicidal. I fight the battle every day. It is imperative that every SRA survivor tell their story...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    3 Responses Sep 10, 2012

    I have a really hard time sometimes.

    I've been going to church praying and reading my bible faithfully. I love Jesus with all my heart. I don't understand that personality shifts I experience. Some I'm fully aware of, others I'm not. I have a a lot of broken memories,they are pretty scary, and very tragic...
    setusfree14 setusfree14
    31-35, F
    2 Responses Mar 29, 2014
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