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I Am a Self Hating Homosexual

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 70 People

    My Girlfriend Is

    My girlfriend really is sort of hating the fact that she's homosexual. Not because she doesn't like homosexuals or something. She just hates all the stereotypes that are sticked to her. And she hates women. She thinks women are more attractive, but in the end men are a lot easier...
    GothGrrrl GothGrrrl 18-21, F 4 Responses Jul 18, 2007

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    25 Years Of Existence...

    Hi. I just discovered today this website and I find it interesting and helpful to many people including me, hoping to share my experience and others will learn from it and I as well from you guys. I am an "open" and simple homosexual to start with. Open because i grew up being...
    Domzhie Domzhie 26-30, M 2 Responses Aug 24, 2013

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    Uncanny Queer

    I don't even know if this is the right way to put the way I feel towards my sexuality. I don't hate myself. I actually respect myself alot, almost too much. I just hate the fact that I have nothing in common with most homosexuals. I don't go to clubs every weekend, I don't listen...
    CatalystReverie CatalystReverie 26-30, M 9 Responses Aug 10, 2007

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    Ever Since I Came Out...

    I have not been able to let go of all of this guilt for being gay. Right after I came out, I felt this really numb, neutral pit starting to well up in the middle in my chest. Essentially, my attraction to men has, like, diminished a lot. My attraction to women did not go up...
    neutralreaction neutralreaction 18-21 3 Responses Jan 5, 2012

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    I Am A Flaming Homosexual.

    I hate homosexuals but I just love men so ******* much.  I keep trying to stop but its just so addicting.  I am such a weak person for not being able to control myself.  **** it, I LOVE MEN.
    poppintags08 poppintags08 18-21, M 5 Responses Feb 19, 2010

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    Well, I am 19. I have been out

    for almost 2 years and I have had a girlfriend for over a year. But I can't help but hate myself I hate who I am and that I love her. I don't want to leave her. But I feel like god hates me and I am going to Hell for the way I feel. But I can't change it I have tried... Any...
    shaunaleigh77 shaunaleigh77 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 23

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    My Parents Hate Me

    Before I came out of the closet I was their pride and joy: they bragged about me to their friends, they told me they loved me ten times a day and they showered me in affection. When I did come out, they couldn't believe it-- I'm "too beautiful to be a lesbian!" Now, they berate...
    PrettyLion PrettyLion 13-15, F 2 Responses Sep 23, 2013

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    Well

    well, im here for all the same reasons you guys are..and the title of this whole page kinda gives it away so i aint gunna explain myself. yeah im a self hating gay, i hate being gay, i hate gays, i hate the scene, and basically i dont actually know what to do. its not really an...
    russdy russdy 18-21 3 Responses Sep 19, 2010

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    Uncertainty About My Sexuality

    Hey.. First of all it felt so good that i found out that im not the only one wgo struggles.. Im 16 years of age and i've struggled for the last few years since i was oriented into these homosexual temptations.. And its so hard.. Im still struggling to fight it.. Sometimes it just...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Jan 18, 2013

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    I Hate Wat I Feel ...

     i really wish i was different. I dont like wat i feel is against my personal beliefs.. but sometimes i feel like its really hard to control wat i feel. Why cant i just be normal ?
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Jan 26, 2010

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    I Don't Want to Be Gay

    i really don't, i want a wife and kids and i want to make love to my wife. i was normal and i didn't want to be attracted to guys. it makes me sad and i feel so alone. when i was in 8th grade i was molested and ever since i have been attracted to guys. i hate it, and i hate...
    lostandconfusedguy lostandconfusedguy 16-17 9 Responses Nov 4, 2008

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    Related Experiences

    I HATE MYSELF SO MUCH THAT I AM GOING TO GO ON A SELF-HATING MARATHON... I AM GOING TO NOT BATHE OR BRUSH MY TEETH FOR A WEEK, UNLESS I HAVE TO GO SOMEWHERE BECAUSE I AM UGLY AND...
    ONESTARRYSTARRYNIGHT ONESTARRYSTARRYNIGHT 26-30, F 2 Responses Dec 8

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    I'm so tired of looking in the mirror and hating my reflection. I'm tired of people getting frustrated with me because I can't accept their compliments. It's been getting so bad I...
    hauntxme hauntxme 18-21, F 11 Responses Nov 28

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    I've never hated myself before. But recently I'm struggling with is. less hating who am, but more hating who I was. a weak needy person. I know I'm not that person anymore but...
    0815Jade 0815Jade 22-25, F 1 Response Dec 4

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    I'm almost 20 years old and I'm consumed by self loathing and feelings of being worthless and never good enough, I've felt this way all throughout my teenage years and still do. It...
    Emily2433 Emily2433 18-21 1 Response 2 days ago

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    Black & White (pic). When I get bored I take selfies! Just want my son to wake up from his nap so we can have a pj and films day! No doubt I'll be watching toy story again as he...
    Louiseelmorexo Louiseelmorexo 18-21, F 1 Response 11 hrs ago

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    I've never posted a mirror selfie before, so there. My hair was weird and flat and it was 3 am and I was skyping with my friends, tyi.
    Colourfi Colourfi 13-15, F 4 Responses 6 hrs ago

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    The fact that you could be programmed at conception to be a 'homosexual' is a possibility that some scientists believe possible. Mother natures way of controlling population growth...
    Homejames Homejames 51-55, M Dec 17

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    I have been stuck without it for a week and I think I am doing just fine without it, but if things keep going on the way they are then i might go back. I'm still holding myself...
    Cheshirecupacat Cheshirecupacat 13-15, F 2 Responses Dec 2

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    Self esteem issues are real! In fact they are more real now, than they have ever been! Living in a society obsessed by Image! Image! Image!, a society where the world is at the tip...
    pristee88 pristee88 22-25, F Dec 2

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    Wow... The quantity of self-harm stories on EP is reaching a worrying level!? Every time I check an update there is at least 1 new experience of someone taking part in bodily...
    Fennerbache Fennerbache 18-21, M 1 Response 2 days ago

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    In 2012, my mom was diagnosed with being in an advanced stage of cervical cancer. This woman, who was never sick, (I thought she was going to outlive me) was now terminally ill...
    miryam57 miryam57 56-60, F 1 Response 20 hrs ago

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    I started self harming three years ago I don't do it a lot I do it when I can't take it anymore. I first self harmed when I found out that dad cheated on mom and I felt so bad I...
    Busexx Busexx 16-17, F Nov 28

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    I've tried so hard to stop but it's the biggest release I have It got so bad It was effecting me at school and people noticed I was pulled in for a really long meeting with a...
    AdventureIsAlwaysAroundTheBend AdventureIsAlwaysAroundTheBend 16-17, F 1 Response Dec 7

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    My experiences growing up haven't been good ones I was befriended a lot and didn't have anyone to take care of me I came from a broken family and didn't care much about myself. My...
    Bella70 Bella70 41-45, F 1 Response Nov 27

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    Today marked 2 whole months since I last cut (#selfharm). :) I almost wrote "since I last "self harmed".... But I think I may have discovered the similar euphoria with hitting my...
    15YrsCutting 15YrsCutting 26-30, F Dec 6

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    I am addicted to taking selfies especially naughty selfies and selfies of dares I have done as proof and share them online .
    cookaburrer cookaburrer 46-50, M Dec 7

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    I'd like to be honest with you. I don't know you, and you don't know me, and that makes it easier for me to get all of this out. I want to be really honest with someone other than...
    kurioussubmissive kurioussubmissive 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 9

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    im so angry and upset about every thing that is happening and every thing that has happened. i feel like the only way to get it out properly is to make my self feel pain i cant go...
    alysia28 alysia28 13-15, F 1 Response Dec 16

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    im done with saying i might, maybe , should i the breaking point is 1 thing away. if one more bad thing happens then yes i will self harm. it is sad thinking that by the 30 th i...
    alysia28 alysia28 13-15, F 2 Responses Dec 18

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    I have always fought with an eating disorder and anxiety but this year I became involved with depression and self-harm. In the spring of 2014, I got involved in a car accident and...
    ecokismet ecokismet 22-25, F 1 Response 5 days ago

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    Self harm was a bad place in my life one was plain intoxicating thinking bout it now makes my arms tingle. I started when i was 16 it was around my birthday in June followed...
    JustCallMeDre JustCallMeDre 16-17, M 2 days ago

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    Today i was upset at school i really want to self harm but i left my cutter at home so i use my empty pencil mechanic to self harm well it didn"t bleed at all and the scar is...
    reginacs reginacs 16-17, F Nov 26

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    Low self esteem and poor body image is something I've struggled with all my life. Growing up as the only kid in a wheelchair in my town, I was always a bit of an outsider and spent...
    mattywheels25 mattywheels25 26-30, M 1 Response Nov 26

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    I feel so sad and so much pain in my heart. I have an exam tomorrow, and I didn't study till now ;its the end of the day where I live.  I just entered the bathroom and tried...
    unknown159231 unknown159231 18-21, F 2 Responses Nov 26

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    2 years I struggled with self harm ... Scars on my wrist and thigh ... I haven't self harmed in over a year ... Just got my heart ripped out and stomped on .... I have my blade in...
    dyinginside4 dyinginside4 16-17, F 1 Response Nov 27

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    This was only in term 1 this year but I use to do self harm but not anymore. Every time I look at my scars, all I feel Is shame and disappointment of what I have done to myself. I...
    1thinginlife 1thinginlife 13-15, F Dec 1

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    I'm going to be 6 months clean on the 20th of December, but I don't know if I'll last that long. I've been feeling very, very triggered lately and I don't know what to do. I'm...
    nowimawarrior nowimawarrior 13-15, F 3 Responses Dec 1

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    Dear Self, I know you struggle sometimes but in case I don't tell you enough, you're beautiful. Thank you for being so strong and transparent, the world sees you even when you feel...
    mik02 mik02 41-45, F 5 Responses Dec 2

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    When I say "please don't take my picture" it doesn't mean I'm being stubborn or bull headed, it means I don't want my picture taken, one more bad picture will lead to more self...
    Bflyboo14 Bflyboo14 13-15, F 4 Responses Dec 3

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    I just want to let all the people who say self harming is "dumb" and "pointless", know that they are very ignorant about the situation and they should just shut up. I used to self...
    Roadtorecovery31997 Roadtorecovery31997 16-17, F 1 Response Dec 3

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    self respect or self love? the ability to remember to put yourself first despite your natural desire to be there for others who don't deserve you? I'm having g trouble conflating...
    evynray evynray 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 3

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    I realized that I'm really ignorant and selfish. I'm always engraved in my own problems. Things happen around me but I choose to pretend like I don't see them because they put me...
    Shamandora Shamandora 16-17, F Dec 5

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    Instead of posting selfies of my face i should just post selfies of my lips :/
    amberlxl amberlxl 18-21, F 2 Responses Dec 6

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    Okay am I the only one who gets annoyed when people glorify self harm like its some fashion trend. Saying "it's so beautiful" "I love self harm" and stuff. Like seriously stop it's...
    alicepulkin alicepulkin 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 7

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    I'm battling issues that I don't know how to handle. In the past my boyfriend would talk with girls both online and off, it never went past talking but it still hurt finding out...
    cindyboo14 cindyboo14 31-35, F 13 Responses Dec 9

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    My self game has gone up a level with this selfie stick haha