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I Am a Self Hating Homosexual

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 70 People

    My Parents Hate Me

    Before I came out of the closet I was their pride and joy: they bragged about me to their friends, they told me they loved me ten times a day and they showered me in affection. When I did come out, they couldn't believe it-- I'm "too beautiful to be a lesbian!" Now, they berate...
    PrettyLion PrettyLion 13-15, F 4 Responses Sep 23, 2013

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    Uncanny Queer

    I don't even know if this is the right way to put the way I feel towards my sexuality. I don't hate myself. I actually respect myself alot, almost too much. I just hate the fact that I have nothing in common with most homosexuals. I don't go to clubs every weekend, I don't listen...
    CatalystReverie CatalystReverie 26-30, M 9 Responses Aug 10, 2007

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    Uncertainty About My Sexuality

    Hey.. First of all it felt so good that i found out that im not the only one wgo struggles.. Im 16 years of age and i've struggled for the last few years since i was oriented into these homosexual temptations.. And its so hard.. Im still struggling to fight it.. Sometimes it just...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Jan 18, 2013

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    I Don't Want to Be Gay

    i really don't, i want a wife and kids and i want to make love to my wife. i was normal and i didn't want to be attracted to guys. it makes me sad and i feel so alone. when i was in 8th grade i was molested and ever since i have been attracted to guys. i hate it, and i hate...
    lostandconfusedguy lostandconfusedguy 16-17 10 Responses Nov 4, 2008

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    I Am A Flaming Homosexual.

    I hate homosexuals but I just love men so ******* much.  I keep trying to stop but its just so addicting.  I am such a weak person for not being able to control myself.  **** it, I LOVE MEN.
    poppintags08 poppintags08 18-21, M 6 Responses Feb 19, 2010

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    I Hate Wat I Feel ...

     i really wish i was different. I dont like wat i feel is against my personal beliefs.. but sometimes i feel like its really hard to control wat i feel. Why cant i just be normal ?
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Jan 26, 2010

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    Ever Since I Came Out...

    I have not been able to let go of all of this guilt for being gay. Right after I came out, I felt this really numb, neutral pit starting to well up in the middle in my chest. Essentially, my attraction to men has, like, diminished a lot. My attraction to women did not go up...
    neutralreaction neutralreaction 18-21 3 Responses Jan 5, 2012

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    My Girlfriend Is

    My girlfriend really is sort of hating the fact that she's homosexual. Not because she doesn't like homosexuals or something. She just hates all the stereotypes that are sticked to her. And she hates women. She thinks women are more attractive, but in the end men are a lot easier...
    GothGrrrl GothGrrrl 18-21, F 4 Responses Jul 18, 2007

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    25 Years Of Existence...

    Hi. I just discovered today this website and I find it interesting and helpful to many people including me, hoping to share my experience and others will learn from it and I as well from you guys. I am an "open" and simple homosexual to start with. Open because i grew up being...
    Domzhie Domzhie 26-30, M 2 Responses Aug 24, 2013

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    Well, I am 19. I have been out

    for almost 2 years and I have had a girlfriend for over a year. But I can't help but hate myself I hate who I am and that I love her. I don't want to leave her. But I feel like god hates me and I am going to Hell for the way I feel. But I can't change it I have tried... Any...
    shaunaleigh77 shaunaleigh77 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 23, 2014

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    Well

    well, im here for all the same reasons you guys are..and the title of this whole page kinda gives it away so i aint gunna explain myself. yeah im a self hating gay, i hate being gay, i hate gays, i hate the scene, and basically i dont actually know what to do. its not really an...
    russdy russdy 18-21 4 Responses Sep 19, 2010

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    Related Experiences

    1:30am in the morning, here I am sat in a dark, silent house reflecting on my past, my regrets, my guilt and the ‘what I would have done differently’ scenarios. However...
    deathfromabove1066 deathfromabove1066 22-25, F Jan 18

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    Do you ever feel like because people know you self harm you have to self harm badly to be worthy of help, like otherwise you're not upset enough, stressed enough of important...
    BellaE15 BellaE15 16-17, F 1 Response 5 mins ago

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    Selfie a day keeps the ******* on here hating lol... I don't lose sleep
    Louiseelmorexo Louiseelmorexo 18-21, F 4 Responses Jan 10

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    I haven't cut in around 6 months.I don't know if I can keep going like this. pretending that I'm happy to everyone. I've gotten so good at acting happy that sometimes I even...
    lonelyjoe16 lonelyjoe16 13-15, M 13 hrs ago

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    I can't tell which scars came from what anymore, from being bullied or self-harm or suicide.
    PantomimeEira PantomimeEira 16-17, F 2 Responses 11 hrs ago

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    I self harmed again. I am scared of school and I still haven't gotten my period. I am 7 days late but the pregnancy test said "negative". Am I too fat to get my period now?! I just...
    BloodRedRiver BloodRedRiver 22-25, F 6 hrs ago

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    In struggling is there any good Reasons not to self harm?
    BellaE15 BellaE15 16-17, F 26 mins ago

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    When I was in 5th grade I use to think that all pretty girls were stuck up.. I remember being in grade 5-9 that people would look down to me cause I didn't look a certain away. All...
    chelseaalexis18 chelseaalexis18 18-21, F 3 Responses Jan 9

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    I'm 15 and been fighting against depression and anxiety since I was 8 years old. I started hating myself when I stared going to school when I was 7 years old.
    buggalue00 buggalue00 13-15, F 2 Responses Jan 12

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    Does depression stop you from regular social activities? Or it's just me hating to go out? Seeing all the people having great time on the streets really do bring me down...
    52hell 52hell 26-30, F 1 Response 6 days ago

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    *Trigger warnings are in the post* I started self-harming in early 2008. I stopped in late 2011. So four years. I was in highschool then, and finished highschool in 2012. I...
    Nomnomk Nomnomk 18-21, F Jan 4

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    It's hard for me to express this thought the way I intend without sending the wrong message, so bear with me if I don't make sense... Look, I'm not saying that it should be...
    Ztun7856 Ztun7856 16-17, F 3 Responses Jan 13

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    Showing respect towards others is always important to me. But having respect for yourself is more important. If you don't have self respect, or lack of it, how are you going to...
    BananaSmoothiee BananaSmoothiee 18-21, F 2 Responses 6 days ago

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    I am a recovering self harm addict. It's been 7 months since I last self harmed, but even though it was only 4 cuts a relapse is still a relapse. It used to be really bad, but the...
    Ramellan Ramellan 22-25, M Dec 30, 2014

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    A role is a role why must we be a self troll? What means will help us get beyond this strange looking toll? So Just wonder with us please I'm sitting on the bus and this...
    tantralad tantralad 22-25, M Jan 12

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    I've gotten to the point when I don't even really eat anymore. I rarely eat breakfast because I'm not a morning person and I have class during breakfast time. I sometimes eat lunch...
    lizygurl lizygurl 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 16

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    i'm not happy with my self . i can't feel happiness anymore. i dont know . my life is so boring. i just wanna scream loudly . i cant be like this forever right? but i cant change...
    onikaa onikaa 18-21, F 4 Responses 6 days ago

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    when i was little i was horribly bullied. one day he tried to strangle me it got to that point. i was only young about 4 or 5 and since then i've always had incredibly low self...
    makeitsomeday makeitsomeday 18-21, F Dec 27, 2014

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    What to say to a self harmer in public if you see one? Nothing. Just be nice. The only time I will talk to someone I do not know about self-harm is if they are a cutter or are...
    spudlydudly spudlydudly 22-25 Jan 2

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    I have only met a handful of people who aren't self obsessed or selfish people. Especially at my school. I can tell you that I had a friend who used to be so happy and joyful but...
    Lilwillbe Lilwillbe 16-17, F Jan 2

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    False. Depression and selfishness go hand in hand. Withdrawing from the world hurts the people we love. What is more selfish than wallowing in self-pity? Most of us want to...
    adianoeta adianoeta 26-30, F 6 Responses Jan 3

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    I have depression and I don't think it's selfish. I mean why is it selfish? I didn't ask for it! it comes and hits me and that **** feels like the whole world is crashing down on...
    sadmistak3 sadmistak3 18-21, F Jan 4

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    One of the worst things someone ever said to me was, "how can you be depressed when you have everything". We're told we're selfish because they believe we don't appreciate what we...
    willibemissed willibemissed 22-25, F Jan 4

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    I was in the selfie mood xP I curled my hair how does it look i never curl my hair and im sooo proud of my self i burned my self less and i didnt burn my face like the last time...
    Millerbabe17 Millerbabe17 16-17, F 7 Responses Jan 7

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    There came a time I just needed to distant myself from really close friends and family. No one was understanding me and since I am a pretty sensitive person. I'd pick up on there...
    tantralad tantralad 22-25, M 1 Response Jan 10

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    Growing up we pick at our selfs noticing all our flaws / imperfections . Some may think what you think is beautiful is in fact ugly , it goes both ways . We're not always satisfied...
    Bittersweetgl Bittersweetgl 22-25, F 6 Responses Jan 10

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    I have been clean for about 2 monthes its been hard but good. I was never major at doing it. And ive always been able to hide it. And now i dont need to. When i selfharmed they...
    kyleee009 kyleee009 13-15, F 2 Responses Jan 11

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    Does anyone have a self pleasure partner? Someone you self pleasure with. You don't pleasure each other but you self pleasure at the same time. It's something I'm interested in...
    Joei005 Joei005 46-50, M 2 Responses Jan 12

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    I used to. Sometimes I still want to.. But I can't. I've tried many times to kill myself but thankfully no success. My 2 little sisters self harm as well. (They're 12&13!!) I'm...
    Gabrielaaaa99 Gabrielaaaa99 13-15, F Jan 16

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    I am a 13-16 year old male and I got a B on a test so I decided I was going to give my self a spanking. I started by getting my tools a wooden spoon and a plastic hairbrush. I took...
    lordofpork lordofpork 22-25, M 1 Response Jan 16

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    I've self-harmed ever since I was a small child really if I get to thinking about it. This is a list I found in an online psychiatric journal for types of self-harm in children...
    ChantelSurvived ChantelSurvived 22-25, F Jan 17

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    Nighttime is a very dangerous place to be. Everyone else is asleep, everything is quiet, I am alone with my thoughts. Thoughts, feelings, emotions-horrible concoction. I can't...
    wildonedreaming wildonedreaming 22-25, F 4 days ago

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    You have to have respect for yourself... You should never let anyone treat you like your worthless... Know your self worth... That doesn't mean act conceited... That means have...
    QuietWriter QuietWriter 70+, F 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    Self sufficiency is not the ability to take a selfie. That doesn't count!
    nvcowboy2 nvcowboy2 46-50, M 1 Response Dec 27, 2014

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    My foster dad walked in on my self-harming today. He was so pissed, he just doesn't under stand that him and his family are a big part of the reason I do self harm. I can't take...
    lostgirl2001 lostgirl2001 13-15, F Dec 28, 2014

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    Selfies are so much fun to take. Someone once told me that I looked liked a model when I took my selfies.
    dimplesgirl17 dimplesgirl17 13-15, F