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I Am a Self Hating Homosexual

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 72 People

    I Hate Wat I Feel ...

     i really wish i was different. I dont like wat i feel is against my personal beliefs.. but sometimes i feel like its really hard to control wat i feel. Why cant i just be normal ?
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Jan 26, 2010

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    I Am A Flaming Homosexual.

    I hate homosexuals but I just love men so ******* much.  I keep trying to stop but its just so addicting.  I am such a weak person for not being able to control myself.  **** it, I LOVE MEN.
    poppintags08 poppintags08 18-21, M 6 Responses Feb 19, 2010

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    I Don't Want to Be Gay

    i really don't, i want a wife and kids and i want to make love to my wife. i was normal and i didn't want to be attracted to guys. it makes me sad and i feel so alone. when i was in 8th grade i was molested and ever since i have been attracted to guys. i hate it, and i hate...
    lostandconfusedguy lostandconfusedguy 16-17 11 Responses Nov 4, 2008

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    25 Years Of Existence...

    Hi. I just discovered today this website and I find it interesting and helpful to many people including me, hoping to share my experience and others will learn from it and I as well from you guys. I am an "open" and simple homosexual to start with. Open because i grew up being...
    Domzhie Domzhie 26-30, M 3 Responses Aug 24, 2013

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    My Parents Hate Me

    Before I came out of the closet I was their pride and joy: they bragged about me to their friends, they told me they loved me ten times a day and they showered me in affection. When I did come out, they couldn't believe it-- I'm "too beautiful to be a lesbian!" Now, they berate...
    PrettyLion PrettyLion 13-15, F 4 Responses Sep 23, 2013

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    Ever Since I Came Out...

    I have not been able to let go of all of this guilt for being gay. Right after I came out, I felt this really numb, neutral pit starting to well up in the middle in my chest. Essentially, my attraction to men has, like, diminished a lot. My attraction to women did not go up...
    neutralreaction neutralreaction 18-21 3 Responses Jan 5, 2012

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    My Girlfriend Is

    My girlfriend really is sort of hating the fact that she's homosexual. Not because she doesn't like homosexuals or something. She just hates all the stereotypes that are sticked to her. And she hates women. She thinks women are more attractive, but in the end men are a lot easier...
    GothGrrrl GothGrrrl 18-21, F 4 Responses Jul 18, 2007

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    Uncanny Queer

    I don't even know if this is the right way to put the way I feel towards my sexuality. I don't hate myself. I actually respect myself alot, almost too much. I just hate the fact that I have nothing in common with most homosexuals. I don't go to clubs every weekend, I don't listen...
    CatalystReverie CatalystReverie 26-30, M 9 Responses Aug 10, 2007

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    Well, I am 19. I have been out

    for almost 2 years and I have had a girlfriend for over a year. But I can't help but hate myself I hate who I am and that I love her. I don't want to leave her. But I feel like god hates me and I am going to Hell for the way I feel. But I can't change it I have tried... Any...
    shaunaleigh77 shaunaleigh77 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 23, 2014

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    Uncertainty About My Sexuality

    Hey.. First of all it felt so good that i found out that im not the only one wgo struggles.. Im 16 years of age and i've struggled for the last few years since i was oriented into these homosexual temptations.. And its so hard.. Im still struggling to fight it.. Sometimes it just...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Jan 18, 2013

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    Well

    well, im here for all the same reasons you guys are..and the title of this whole page kinda gives it away so i aint gunna explain myself. yeah im a self hating gay, i hate being gay, i hate gays, i hate the scene, and basically i dont actually know what to do. its not really an...
    russdy russdy 18-21 6 Responses Sep 19, 2010

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    Related Experiences

    The great thing about your life is just that, the great things you actually do with the people you do it with, not the names from somewhere you just drop into the conversation that...
    Joanne0chan Joanne0chan 26-30 7 hrs ago

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    The constant feeling of insecurity, of feeling judged, of hating yourself for the way you look... It's all so exhausting. Why can't I have even the slightest bit of self-confidence...
    lizygurl lizygurl 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 13

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    I've always had no confidence and low self esteem because my whole life I have been told that I'm fat and need to lose weight when in reality I was actually at a healthy weight all...
    Thatonegreyeyedgirl Thatonegreyeyedgirl 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 26

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    For all the suicidal and self harming people out there. Stay strong please stay strong, life is full of ups and downs so some day life will give you all an up and you all will be...
    demonswithin demonswithin 18-21, M 2 hrs ago

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    the only person I had left, is gone. He was my rock and my anchor. Without him, I have nothing. It's cliche I know, but I was in great suffering long before him. Now, it's just a...
    marieflorence109 marieflorence109 22-25, F 1 Response Feb 28

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    Stop spending so much time hating yourself!!! You're actually hot!! Just wash your face and do your hair better (; maybe a shopping spree too :P
    churchdadatnight churchdadatnight 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 2

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    I will be honest , I never thought I would get to the point , feeling so low , so completely alone that I would start cutting . But the first time I did it , I don't know how to...
    girldevil123 girldevil123 16-17, F 3 Responses 4 days ago

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    Self Esteem: The degree to which one values oneself Insecurity: A lack of assurance, uncertainty, unprotectedness. Self Confidence: Assuredness and self reliance Self Belief...
    awsome2 awsome2 18-21, T Mar 9

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    I'm honestly tired of people glorifying self harm. I'm done and I need a good rant. Depression is NOT fun, it's NOT a choice, and more importantly self harm is NOT beautiful. It's...
    Whathi Whathi 16-17, F 7 Responses Feb 28

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    I don't exactly know why I'm writing this. I'm not one to seek attention, I never have been. I guess that's why I'm writing this... To show that self harm isn't for attention. I...
    Ticcat Ticcat 13-15, F 1 Response Mar 2

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    A self portrait: minor imperfections on a bad day I look into a mirror and I see unattractiveness staring right back at me. So I try to find the most pleasant facial expression...
    FernwehTardigrade FernwehTardigrade 18-21, M 1 Response 6 days ago

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    I dont like to write about my self because noone wants to know about anyone here but I will write to know my ownself what I have got....so first my bad side, I am selfish,bit...
    kikforyou kikforyou 18-21, M 1 Response Mar 10

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    Honestly you can't find people with self-respect anymore ... I really admire a person who can take the time to really understand their self-worth . Exposing yourself isn't...
    xolex18 xolex18 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 28

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    just a heads up my spelling is not the greatest nor is my grammar so please be easy xP. my entire life it has been so easy for me to find the greatness in others and bring it out...
    Lugelogistics93 Lugelogistics93 18-21, M Mar 3

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    I lost it long ago and now i have rediscovered it within again.Well being traumatized has made me a weakling and dependent person and i ended up being clingy and a bit over polite...
    GenuineAngel GenuineAngel 18-21, F 3 Responses Mar 5

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    It may sound a little..(dont know the word now.., arogant?).. I was already tired of it the first time I heard it. Taking a pictures of yourself is a very old thing to do. But...
    mirkwood86 mirkwood86 26-30, M 1 Response Mar 10

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    Taking selfies everyday is my catharsis ,my therapy Since i've been told i'm not beautiful by family or classmates. Then i need desperately my self esteem high. So **** yeah...
    Juri0902 Juri0902 31-35, F 3 Responses Mar 12

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    If you had asked me 5 years ago if i thought i would ever end up not being able to remember my arms without scars if i would have to go to A&E for self injury in the middle of the...
    SophieeKezzie SophieeKezzie 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 16

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    This letter to be sent on March 2024 Hi There Future Self! :D I want you to remember that when you were typing this, You have successfully passed your board exam and got your...
    isha07 isha07 18-21, F Mar 18

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    I think I've almost conquered my lack i Of self confidence. I'm trying to redefine my self worth in what it truly is. Through me and through my creator. The other day, I gave...
    queenjellyfish queenjellyfish 16-17, F 2 days ago

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    yesterday (24th of March) was... It was hard. I didn't feel bad or anxious until late night, and even then it wasn't that bad really. I however had a problem. At about mid-day I...
    bluecupcakes bluecupcakes 18-21, F 1 Response 19 hrs ago

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    I'm too big for my age. Everyone around me is small and I'm a giant. I make everyone believe I'm funny and full of life. But I'm really not. I'm that one ***** that has a fruit...
    KidLeftInTheDark KidLeftInTheDark 13-15, F 1 Response Feb 26

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    Write about your experience I tight a question down that hased to do on why I'm up set and make a full convo over it. Like lets say I punched a girl I soul rite down "so what...
    emo200 emo200 13-15, F 1 Response Feb 27

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    Just remember this... if someone is putting you down, hurting you emotionally, making you feel like crap because of something you say or do, because of how you look, or because...
    Scoodaloop Scoodaloop 18-21, F 6 Responses Mar 2

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    i am a person who sure does do give a lot to owns self respect and so like people who do have a sense of self respect!
    romell romell 41-45, M 1 Response Mar 3

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    I'm a popular girl friends with everyone at school . " You're so pretty , You're so gorgeous" is all I hear but when I look in the mirror I see different all I can do is cry I see...
    dasiy456 dasiy456 22-25, F 1 Response Mar 3

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    My bf and I been in a long distance relationship, for more than two years now. I believe that we have gone through many things just to get this far. We met once and in two weeks we...
    crisseth crisseth 18-21, F Mar 4

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    This is why I never take selfies and don't like taking photos of myself. Here's the thing though, if I do take a selfie it is instantly deleted.
    Juliette19 Juliette19 18-21, F Mar 6

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    life sucks sometimes, ive been aelfharming on and off since the ending of 6 grade cause of bullies, now im in 9th grade. i used to cut on my lower lower leg/ankles so no one would...
    SpideyAlyx SpideyAlyx 13-15, M 1 Response Mar 7

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    well yes I'm flighty, self absorbed in a non selfish way and forgetful when it comes to people. But honestly I'm tired of this attitude I have. like I can't commit at all.I get...
    flyyhigh21 flyyhigh21 18-21, F Mar 7

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    Self hatred happens on a daily basis with me. I hate myself to the extent where I don't want to be around anymore. I used to get bullied as a kid, but I doubt that's what started...
    adeelakhan101a adeelakhan101a 13-15, F Mar 7

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    I hate it when people post selfies of themselves and ask "am I attractive?" Seriously? You are ALL beautiful in your own ways, and you don't need to listen to others' opinions...
    XPathologyOfInsanityX XPathologyOfInsanityX 13-15, F 1 Response