Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device

I Am a Self Hating Homosexual

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 73 People

    Uncanny Queer

    I don't even know if this is the right way to put the way I feel towards my sexuality. I don't hate myself. I actually respect myself alot, almost too much. I just hate the fact that I have nothing in common with most homosexuals. I don't go to clubs every weekend, I don't listen...
    CatalystReverie CatalystReverie 26-30, M 9 Responses Aug 10, 2007

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Hate Wat I Feel ...

     i really wish i was different. I dont like wat i feel is against my personal beliefs.. but sometimes i feel like its really hard to control wat i feel. Why cant i just be normal ?
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Jan 26, 2010

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My Parents Hate Me

    Before I came out of the closet I was their pride and joy: they bragged about me to their friends, they told me they loved me ten times a day and they showered me in affection. When I did come out, they couldn't believe it-- I'm "too beautiful to be a lesbian!" Now, they berate...
    PrettyLion PrettyLion 16-17, F 5 Responses Sep 23, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Well, I am 19. I have been out

    for almost 2 years and I have had a girlfriend for over a year. But I can't help but hate myself I hate who I am and that I love her. I don't want to leave her. But I feel like god hates me and I am going to Hell for the way I feel. But I can't change it I have tried... Any...
    shaunaleigh77 shaunaleigh77 18-21, F 4 Responses Mar 23, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My Girlfriend Is

    My girlfriend really is sort of hating the fact that she's homosexual. Not because she doesn't like homosexuals or something. She just hates all the stereotypes that are sticked to her. And she hates women. She thinks women are more attractive, but in the end men are a lot easier...
    GothGrrrl GothGrrrl 18-21, F 4 Responses Jul 18, 2007

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Ever Since I Came Out...

    I have not been able to let go of all of this guilt for being gay. Right after I came out, I felt this really numb, neutral pit starting to well up in the middle in my chest. Essentially, my attraction to men has, like, diminished a lot. My attraction to women did not go up...
    neutralreaction neutralreaction 18-21 4 Responses Jan 5, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    25 Years Of Existence...

    Hi. I just discovered today this website and I find it interesting and helpful to many people including me, hoping to share my experience and others will learn from it and I as well from you guys. I am an "open" and simple homosexual to start with. Open because i grew up being...
    Domzhie Domzhie 26-30, M 3 Responses Aug 24, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Am A Flaming Homosexual.

    I hate homosexuals but I just love men so ******* much.  I keep trying to stop but its just so addicting.  I am such a weak person for not being able to control myself.  **** it, I LOVE MEN.
    poppintags08 poppintags08 18-21, M 6 Responses Feb 19, 2010

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Well

    well, im here for all the same reasons you guys are..and the title of this whole page kinda gives it away so i aint gunna explain myself. yeah im a self hating gay, i hate being gay, i hate gays, i hate the scene, and basically i dont actually know what to do. its not really an...
    russdy russdy 18-21 6 Responses Sep 19, 2010

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Uncertainty About My Sexuality

    Hey.. First of all it felt so good that i found out that im not the only one wgo struggles.. Im 16 years of age and i've struggled for the last few years since i was oriented into these homosexual temptations.. And its so hard.. Im still struggling to fight it.. Sometimes it just...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Jan 18, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Don't Want to Be Gay

    i really don't, i want a wife and kids and i want to make love to my wife. i was normal and i didn't want to be attracted to guys. it makes me sad and i feel so alone. when i was in 8th grade i was molested and ever since i have been attracted to guys. i hate it, and i hate...
    lostandconfusedguy lostandconfusedguy 16-17 12 Responses Nov 4, 2008

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Related Experiences

    I have always had low self esteem. And just when it seems I am getting through this problem, I go back to hating certain aspects of myself. My goal is to have a healthy self...
    TheemopandaX TheemopandaX 18-21, F 3 Responses 3 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    It must have been like three months ago I remember it like it happened just yesterday though You felt lonely, broken, lost but I held you tight and told you together we'd be at the...
    LeahLoveeU LeahLoveeU 13-15, F May 9

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I really don't understand what I'm doing is wrong! I sincerely try my best at making friends but somehow they always leave me . Most of the people ignore me . I don't understand...
    SuperConfused812 SuperConfused812 18-21, F May 18

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I was hospitalized twice this year, both times I was able to sneak in razor blades and other "sharps". It seems sometimes I really want to get better but other times I sabotage my...
    TickleMeCell TickleMeCell 16-17, T 2 Responses 5 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I sometimes find myself surprised that I didn't self-harm earlier on in my life because there’s so many reason why I would have; a) because giving myself physical pain could help...
    lunightandday lunightandday 18-21, F 2 Responses May 3

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I no longer cut or burn myself, but I still do other harmful things like picking at my skins and scabs, pulling out my hair, biting my lip until it bleeds, digging my nails into my...
    NaturallyPeculiar NaturallyPeculiar 18-21, F 1 Response May 7

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I recently turned 30, and I have self harming since 12 yrs of age, on and off. I've gone months to years without insistent. However, self harming s always there like a companion...
    Emmy508 Emmy508 26-30, F May 15

    Your Response

    Cancel
    It doesn't matter how deep you cut, how much you cut or how long and often you burn! Self harm is self harm and it's not just people trying to attention seek. Whether you Cut...
    EricaAudrey22 EricaAudrey22 18-21, F 4 Responses May 19

    Your Response

    Cancel
    My mother has borderline personality disorder. It's all or nothing, black or white to her. You have to give her attention and she is constantly taking and editing selfies. She is...
    angelique422 angelique422 22-25, F May 22

    Your Response

    Cancel
    How do you cope (emotionally) with a child who self harms? Please help me…My 17 year old Daughter Self Harms and It is breaking my heart…I just don’t know how to cope with...
    rainbow7969 rainbow7969 31-35, F 2 Responses 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Even though it seems like I get lots of income each months but it is not really as I share some of my income with my mum ,orphans ,my lovebirds and other birds ..so lots of money...
    Powerlesss Powerlesss 31-35, F 1 Response 17 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I woke up this morning and realized that I don't have many friends or a girlfriend, because I have low self esteem and self confidence, I have always known there was something...
    JodyValero JodyValero 18-21, M 1 Response May 12

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Ok so my dad has seen my self harm scars (the picture above shows most of them). He doesn't understand self harm in the slightest bit. He thinks I do it to try to be "cool" or it's...
    KakeLove KakeLove 13-15, F 1 Response May 13

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I don't approve of women's self defense courses that are only 6, 8 or even 12 weeks because they don't give women what they need to be able to walk away from most situations where...
    grandpabear689 grandpabear689 56-60, M May 13

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I battle depression for years, last year i tried to kill my self, now i am on antidepressants for mounts and they are helping me a lot, my suicide thoughts are gone. But i still...
    anazi anazi 26-30, F May 18

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I started self harming when I was 17. I never thought I would because I couldn't cut myself but then I discovered that there are other ways. The first time I burned myself with a...
    ElouiseLou ElouiseLou 22-25, F 6 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    It's been a week since I last gave my self any scars. I have a fresh one on my leg that just heald. before that it was little pin picks here and there for a coupple days but before...
    inevertoldne1 inevertoldne1 22-25, F Apr 30

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I've been self harming since I was 16. I've been clean since 2-18-15. So why do I image myself slitting my arm down and mutilating myself? I can't seem to block the soothing...
    lilypad99 lilypad99 18-21 May 3

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Diane Calka is a self-employed pet sitter based in Stamford, Connecticut. For the past more than eight years, she has been successfully running her petsitting business by the name...
    addisonsawyer addisonsawyer 31-35, M 1 Response May 4

    Your Response

    Cancel
    hm, what I'd say to my past self is...you dumbass I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!! and I'll put my hands on my pass self's neck, and strangle him.if it kills me, good
    omss omss 18-21, M May 6

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I actually wanted to share this very personal message to everyone with self-harm scars... This isn't anything to prevent you to get more or anything like that, but it's a haunting...
    HighEndofYourLow HighEndofYourLow 18-21, F 2 Responses May 7

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Days like this are days where I fight the urge to go into the bathroom and cut my self . Holding on strong but I feel My self slipping
    painfullyloving painfullyloving 16-17, F 2 Responses May 11

    Your Response

    Cancel
    You know my Name not my story. You see my smile but it's not real. You see me happy but I'm hurting. I self harm. Know one understands the struggle I go through to get up everyday...
    Madimac Madimac 13-15, F 1 Response May 11

    Your Response

    Cancel
    surround ur self with positive things. don't give anyone or anything the power over u to hurt u. Make a habit of staying positive. happiness is inner peace n success is doing what...
    candles700 candles700 22-25, F 2 Responses May 12

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I have had a long and hard struggle with self hatred. I grew up in a family of 9 kids. I seemed to always be the most sensitive. It made me feel as tho something was wrong with me...
    iowateri8309 iowateri8309 51-55 1 Response May 17

    Your Response

    Cancel
    September will mark a year without any self-harm. No scratching, no cutting, no eraser burns, no biting, no hitting, no hair pulling. No form of self-harm whatsoever (other than...
    dontyouunderstand dontyouunderstand 18-21 1 Response May 17

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I have nothing bad towards selfies, although it annoys me someone has 700 photos on Instagram and 98% of them are of themselves!!!! The thing is I hate selfies because I hate me...
    ItsJustRebecca ItsJustRebecca 13-15, F 2 Responses May 20

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I don't like to be selfish... I hate when I find myself being selfish, but can't help it... It's not that I only think of myself, but if I want something, I want it all and don't...
    Karmario Karmario 26-30, F 1 Response May 20

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I began again after 5 years of not cutting. I'm smarter now. I don't cut my wrist I cut the top of my thy where no one will see it. I'm not doing this because of depression. ni...
    inevertoldne1 inevertoldne1 22-25, F 2 Responses May 20

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Ok so this isn't your typical selfie. In art class, we can to do relief sculptures out of cardboard. But we had to do self portraits, and usually I'm terrible at them, but I think...
    bdabdoub bdabdoub 16-17, F 1 Response May 21

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I don't mind admitting this, I am selfish. I'm not proud of it particularly, but it's a fact that I have no problem to accept. And frankly, I'm 100% sure I'm not the only one, the...
    RealLifePerson RealLifePerson 26-30, M May 21

    Your Response

    Cancel