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I Am a Self Hating Homosexual

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 74 People

    I Don't Want to Be Gay

    i really don't, i want a wife and kids and i want to make love to my wife. i was normal and i didn't want to be attracted to guys. it makes me sad and i feel so alone. when i was in 8th grade i was molested and ever since i have been attracted to guys. i hate it, and i hate...
    lostandconfusedguy lostandconfusedguy 16-17 12 Responses Nov 4, 2008

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    I Hate Wat I Feel ...

     i really wish i was different. I dont like wat i feel is against my personal beliefs.. but sometimes i feel like its really hard to control wat i feel. Why cant i just be normal ?
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Jan 26, 2010

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    I Am A Flaming Homosexual.

    I hate homosexuals but I just love men so ******* much.  I keep trying to stop but its just so addicting.  I am such a weak person for not being able to control myself.  **** it, I LOVE MEN.
    poppintags08 poppintags08 18-21, M 6 Responses Feb 19, 2010

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    Well

    well, im here for all the same reasons you guys are..and the title of this whole page kinda gives it away so i aint gunna explain myself. yeah im a self hating gay, i hate being gay, i hate gays, i hate the scene, and basically i dont actually know what to do. its not really an...
    russdy russdy 18-21 6 Responses Sep 19, 2010

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    Uncanny Queer

    I don't even know if this is the right way to put the way I feel towards my sexuality. I don't hate myself. I actually respect myself alot, almost too much. I just hate the fact that I have nothing in common with most homosexuals. I don't go to clubs every weekend, I don't listen...
    CatalystReverie CatalystReverie 26-30, M 9 Responses Aug 10, 2007

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    Ever Since I Came Out...

    I have not been able to let go of all of this guilt for being gay. Right after I came out, I felt this really numb, neutral pit starting to well up in the middle in my chest. Essentially, my attraction to men has, like, diminished a lot. My attraction to women did not go up...
    neutralreaction neutralreaction 18-21 4 Responses Jan 5, 2012

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    My Parents Hate Me

    Before I came out of the closet I was their pride and joy: they bragged about me to their friends, they told me they loved me ten times a day and they showered me in affection. When I did come out, they couldn't believe it-- I'm "too beautiful to be a lesbian!" Now, they berate...
    PrettyLion PrettyLion 16-17, F 5 Responses Sep 23, 2013

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    25 Years Of Existence...

    Hi. I just discovered today this website and I find it interesting and helpful to many people including me, hoping to share my experience and others will learn from it and I as well from you guys. I am an "open" and simple homosexual to start with. Open because i grew up being...
    Domzhie Domzhie 26-30, M 3 Responses Aug 24, 2013

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    My Girlfriend Is

    My girlfriend really is sort of hating the fact that she's homosexual. Not because she doesn't like homosexuals or something. She just hates all the stereotypes that are sticked to her. And she hates women. She thinks women are more attractive, but in the end men are a lot easier...
    GothGrrrl GothGrrrl 18-21, F 4 Responses Jul 18, 2007

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    Well, I am 19. I have been out

    for almost 2 years and I have had a girlfriend for over a year. But I can't help but hate myself I hate who I am and that I love her. I don't want to leave her. But I feel like god hates me and I am going to Hell for the way I feel. But I can't change it I have tried... Any...
    shaunaleigh77 shaunaleigh77 18-21, F 4 Responses Mar 23, 2014

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    Uncertainty About My Sexuality

    Hey.. First of all it felt so good that i found out that im not the only one wgo struggles.. Im 16 years of age and i've struggled for the last few years since i was oriented into these homosexual temptations.. And its so hard.. Im still struggling to fight it.. Sometimes it just...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Jan 18, 2013

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    Related Experiences

    I freely admit it, it's not something I particularly like, I just believe it's necessary. For a good part of my life, I made the mistake of being selfless and helping others, yet...
    usernameinneed usernameinneed 26-30, M 57 mins ago

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    Half face selfie cuz im swag like that
    FootballCFC FootballCFC 13-15, M 4 Responses 4 hrs ago

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    I am struggling big time with Self-injury. I have been dealing with Self-injury since I was about 9 or 10, I can't remember exactly when it started, but I remember why, I have been...
    BroknGirl89 BroknGirl89 26-30, F 1 Response 12 hrs ago

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    selfie selfie selfie trying to reach 25 characters selfie
    lusomk lusomk 22-25, F 3 Responses 2 days ago

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    This is a piece of writing that I found years ago and have changed and enhanced to fit my own situation. It is very descriptive and if you are someone who self harms, it may...
    GreenEyedFox GreenEyedFox 22-25, F 1 Response 2 days ago

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    Does anyone here post body selfies? I was looking for a group to post this in (because I love it) but all the threads seem to be "zombie" threads with 0 activity in them. That...
    WitchyLexi WitchyLexi 22-25, F 26 Responses 2 days ago

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    i dont know what is wrong with me.. i just hate my self no matter how hard i try i just cant help. i cant sleep at night because i keep thinking that i am not good enough. i...
    shbamo shbamo 18-21, F 5 Responses 2 days ago

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    I use to self-inflict pain upon myself physically but at some point I found emotional pain more painful. Emotional self-infliction is something more controllable than physical; no...
    BriarRose96 BriarRose96 18-21, F 1 Response 2 days ago

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    Boys dont self harm... yea right. about 3 percent do... Im out of the 3 percent.... horrible childhood and still horrible now. You were suppose to die at birth i keep telling...
    InfiniteZero InfiniteZero 13-15, M 4 Responses 2 days ago

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    I relapsed. I just cut myself. I haven't cut myself in several months since my mom took away my razors. But tonight I found an old razor in my room and cut. I was feeling really...
    princessSadness princessSadness 22-25, F 3 Responses 2 days ago

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    I started when I was sixteen or seventeen. I read an article about self-harm in Seventeen magazine and in all honesty, I was depressed, miserable, full of hate and anger and I...
    Emeryael Emeryael 26-30, F 3 days ago

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    I use to be extremely addicted to self harm I wanted nothing more then to feel a blade cut through my flesh. it was more when I was losing control in my personal life that I began...
    emovamp emovamp 18-21, M 1 Response 3 days ago

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    I'm going into my 4th month of self injuring . It helps me a lot. My mom knows that I self injure but she didn't ask why or anything. She just threatened to take my door off to my...
    Timelord1702 Timelord1702 16-17, F 4 days ago

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    I know no one can instill self confidence in you and that it must come from within, but really how do you get what you never had? I have just about zero self confidence. Anything...
    SomeoneOutThere SomeoneOutThere 41-45, M 4 days ago

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    Even if I do 'recover' from self-harm, even if I never did it again - not that that would happen - I'm never going to undo it. The scars on my skin will fade, but I'll never be...
    kaleidoscopic21 kaleidoscopic21 13-15, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    Yeah..With sleeping,with getting things done,avoiding certain people,taking necessary action when i need to..I need more self discipline i guess..I hate the word discipline,despise...
    simpleandpossible simpleandpossible 22-25, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    It happened again only this time I bruised myself. I felt like cutting but the people around me notice more and get upset. I don't want to do this anymore but I don't know how to...
    avey10 avey10 18-21, F 4 Responses 4 days ago

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    The last time I self harmed was around 9 months ago. Today, my best friend (aka my dad) got into a huge fight, and he didn't understand at all. So, the person who I usually talk to...
    kylieadams kylieadams 18-21, F 1 Response a week ago

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    So I hit my seventh month mark of being free of self harm! It's weird, a little over half a year. Of course times get hard, but I just think about my loved ones. I think about the...
    TickleMeCell TickleMeCell 18-21, T 1 Response Jun 24

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    I don't know what happened today...everything hit me all at once & I felt so out of control. I haven't self harmed in almost 3 years, but today I couldn't help myself. What's...
    nightowl2015 nightowl2015 26-30, F 3 Responses Jun 23

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    I haven't cut myself since February 5, 2009. For a while I thought that meant that I was done with self-harm. When I'm honest with myself, I don't think that I ever stopped self...
    notatamelioness notatamelioness 31-35, F Jun 22

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    It sure as hell is not a choice. I just read a lot of judgemental a$$hole comments from people who lack factual knowledge on mood disorders. There is a reason they do cognitive...
    krazeekatie krazeekatie 36-40, F 2 Responses Jun 22

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    One night about 1 year ago, I stabbed myself in the thigh twice to self harm. I was cutting my wrist with a razor, then I realised I wanted to feel more pain so I snuck into the...
    IndianaRoyals IndianaRoyals 18-21, F 2 Responses Jun 22

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    Why do I keep doing this to myself?? I want to lose weight, I do! But still for no reason, without thinking, I just stuff my face with anything calorific I can find just because. I...
    ElisabethH123 ElisabethH123 18-21, F Jun 21

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    Is it bad that we make decisions for our own happiness. Or is it bad that we aren't stepping in line with what other people want. It sounds selfish to demand from people who are...
    RDevil87 RDevil87 26-30, M 1 Response Jun 20

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    I haven't self harmed for year and half now. I stopped after I cut a 30 cm long, 1 cm wide and deep wound across my right thigh, with scissors. I bled so much and I can still feel...
    lenna99 lenna99 16-17, F Jun 18

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    I purchased this book years ago titled "Breaking the Chain of Low Self Esteem," and I am just now getting around to reading it. Within the first couple of chapters is a...
    Mala1718 Mala1718 26-30, F 4 Responses Jun 18

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    I had moved into my first apartment. I was opining boxes and came across the ones with all my girl clothes and then the box with my bondage gear. I thought to my self its time to...
    misstinabondage2 misstinabondage2 18-21, T 5 Responses Jun 18

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    So im really trying to stay positive and keep a positive mentality nowadays.. Part of the being so is embracing my self to actually start loving myself more and accepting how i...
    Sublevarse Sublevarse 18-21, M 1 Response Jun 18

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    I've been deeply insecure ever since I was about 11 years old and when I turned 15 my eating habits started becoming weird. I never could look at myself and like what I see. The...
    lovebugg11 lovebugg11 18-21, F Jun 17

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    I would tell my past self to not worry about what others opinion. Girls are haters so don't take what they say into consideration. Your beauty over shine their negativity. Bullying...
    URSTRULYAngelina URSTRULYAngelina 16-17, F 1 Response Jun 16

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