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I Am a Self Hating Homosexual

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 76 People

    Well, I am 19. I have been out

    for almost 2 years and I have had a girlfriend for over a year. But I can't help but hate myself I hate who I am and that I love her. I don't want to leave her. But I feel like god hates me and I am going to Hell for the way I feel. But I can't change it I have tried... Any...
    shaunaleigh77 shaunaleigh77 18-21, F 4 Responses Mar 23, 2014

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    Ever Since I Came Out...

    I have not been able to let go of all of this guilt for being gay. Right after I came out, I felt this really numb, neutral pit starting to well up in the middle in my chest. Essentially, my attraction to men has, like, diminished a lot. My attraction to women did not go up...
    neutralreaction neutralreaction 18-21 5 Responses Jan 5, 2012

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    Well

    well, im here for all the same reasons you guys are..and the title of this whole page kinda gives it away so i aint gunna explain myself. yeah im a self hating gay, i hate being gay, i hate gays, i hate the scene, and basically i dont actually know what to do. its not really an...
    russdy russdy 18-21 6 Responses Sep 19, 2010

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    I Hate Wat I Feel ...

     i really wish i was different. I dont like wat i feel is against my personal beliefs.. but sometimes i feel like its really hard to control wat i feel. Why cant i just be normal ?
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Jan 26, 2010

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    Uncertainty About My Sexuality

    Hey.. First of all it felt so good that i found out that im not the only one wgo struggles.. Im 16 years of age and i've struggled for the last few years since i was oriented into these homosexual temptations.. And its so hard.. Im still struggling to fight it.. Sometimes it just...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Jan 18, 2013

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    Uncanny Queer

    I don't even know if this is the right way to put the way I feel towards my sexuality. I don't hate myself. I actually respect myself alot, almost too much. I just hate the fact that I have nothing in common with most homosexuals. I don't go to clubs every weekend, I don't listen...
    CatalystReverie CatalystReverie 26-30, M 9 Responses Aug 10, 2007

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    My Girlfriend Is

    My girlfriend really is sort of hating the fact that she's homosexual. Not because she doesn't like homosexuals or something. She just hates all the stereotypes that are sticked to her. And she hates women. She thinks women are more attractive, but in the end men are a lot easier...
    GothGrrrl GothGrrrl 18-21, F 4 Responses Jul 18, 2007

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    My Parents Hate Me

    Before I came out of the closet I was their pride and joy: they bragged about me to their friends, they told me they loved me ten times a day and they showered me in affection. When I did come out, they couldn't believe it-- I'm "too beautiful to be a lesbian!" Now, they berate...
    PrettyLion PrettyLion 16-17, F 5 Responses Sep 23, 2013

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    I Am A Flaming Homosexual.

    I hate homosexuals but I just love men so ******* much.  I keep trying to stop but its just so addicting.  I am such a weak person for not being able to control myself.  **** it, I LOVE MEN.
    poppintags08 poppintags08 18-21, M 7 Responses Feb 19, 2010

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    25 Years Of Existence...

    Hi. I just discovered today this website and I find it interesting and helpful to many people including me, hoping to share my experience and others will learn from it and I as well from you guys. I am an "open" and simple homosexual to start with. Open because i grew up being...
    Domzhie Domzhie 26-30, M 3 Responses Aug 24, 2013

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    I Don't Want to Be Gay

    i really don't, i want a wife and kids and i want to make love to my wife. i was normal and i didn't want to be attracted to guys. it makes me sad and i feel so alone. when i was in 8th grade i was molested and ever since i have been attracted to guys. i hate it, and i hate...
    lostandconfusedguy lostandconfusedguy 16-17 13 Responses Nov 4, 2008

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    Related Experiences

    I feel good when I take underwear selfies
    tyota7 tyota7 26-30, M 1 Response 5 hrs ago

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    I'm early 20s and self harm when I feel very overwhelmed by emotion or my surrounding. Not often but it is something I've struggled with for years. Since puberty. Just sayin I'm...
    Lhokw Lhokw 18-21, F 5 hrs ago

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    So ive been self harming by burning and this is my last night to do it cause i promised myself i wouldn't do it for a while after this and i got to say im not really being...
    Passionfruit3 Passionfruit3 22-25, F 12 hrs ago

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    well, only when it comes to some girls i like. i didn't know where to put this story so i'm just gonna put it on here. this is strange, but whenever i like a girl , i'm very...
    thenameofthegame thenameofthegame 22-25, M 1 Response 20 hrs ago

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    I research on selfies in the streets and urban spaces. Plz help me. Tell me ur story about selfies and if u want send me ur city selfies photo.
    SarahAlef SarahAlef 26-30, F 1 Response 2 days ago

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    l'amour de soi  noun: self-loveregard for one's own well-being and happinesschiefly considered as a desirable rather than narcissistic  characteristic...
    amazedbygrace amazedbygrace 31-35, F 2 days ago

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    I did and sent it to a friend. She liked them and send me one back. The selfies became more and more brave and now we send selfies with not a thread on our bodies
    theoutsideofme theoutsideofme 41-45, M 1 Response 3 days ago

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    Hi. I think I have depression. I've been crying so much lately especially at night,I lost a lot of weight,I feel worthless and I started hating my appearance. I also avoid going...
    panjcatthedisco panjcatthedisco 13-15, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    With great trepidation, I joined this experience, with full knowledge that, on the surface, my love for "selfies" will appear juvenile and not just a tiny bit vain. But I am rarely...
    badassgirrrl badassgirrrl 41-45, F 8 Responses 4 days ago

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    hello everyone, as most I want more self-confidence in myself. I never had it and now I'm in dying need of it. I hate living a life of self hate/doubts. I am ready to be free of my...
    SolHeart SolHeart 26-30, F 4 days ago

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    I have been self harming for 5 years and I literally self harm almost every day because I don't see the point in recovery when I have such low self esteem and no close friends...
    Alexx556 Alexx556 13-15, T 1 Response 5 days ago

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    So... apparently, I've got issues. I just had a talk to my brother, or more like an argument. He says that I'm not at all reaching my potential because of how I think about...
    S1NK1LL3R S1NK1LL3R 22-25, M 5 days ago

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    After 45 years of marriage my mom has finally decided to leave my dad, she was finally reached her limit of his laziness, cheating and selfishness. So, when she left 2 months ago...
    SassNClass37 SassNClass37 36-40, F 5 days ago

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    I used to self harm for a lot of reasons and in a lot of different ways. I self harmed because I was scared and angry. I did it because I was abused by one of my treatment centers...
    LateApology LateApology 16-17, F 1 Response 5 days ago

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    I self harm and yet I'm not ashamed of my scars nor do I hide them any more. I used to cut on my arm till one drunk night I cut so deep I gave my self permanent nerve damage in my...
    cosciatony cosciatony 26-30, M 6 days ago

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    People always wonder what's the gain out of self harming.. And I was like "I feel so much better" but I was wrong. There is no gain. Glad I stopped. I actually feel pretty lame...
    Alltimefreak Alltimefreak 22-25, F 1 Response a week ago

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    I feel pretty lame that I self harmed. my dad is emotionally, verbally, and mentally abusive towards me. I guess anytime he was abusive towards me that's when I'd self harm. I...
    haleymc haleymc 18-21, F 3 Responses a week ago

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    I am 26 and I lost one of my front teeth. Guess what? Chipped right to the gum. Dentist said there was no hope, unless I have money to buy my way out of such a tragedy...
    myfungasm myfungasm 26-30, M 1 Response a week ago

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    i used to be christian. my family went to a fundamentalist chrurch. there they told me being gay is a choice, theyre going to hell, leviticus, blah blah blah. then i started having...
    Angelaco13 Angelaco13 13-15, M 2 Responses Aug 19

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    I used to self harm a few months back but then I did it again last night. It's been so hard because my girlfriend has been all depressed and I've made her feel better but I've gone...
    JoshKilbride2 JoshKilbride2 13-15, M 1 Response Aug 18

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    I just self-harm a few minutes ago.. I tried drawing on my self or use ice cubes to calm down the urge.. End up doing it anyway. I gotten in a argument with my parents and they...
    Soullessangel16 Soullessangel16 16-17, F Aug 17

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    I struggle with mutiple forms of self harm. burning,hair pulling,cutting, and other things. I have tried to stop,but its hard. I've asked for help and been forgotten. I always have...
    BaiiBoo BaiiBoo 16-17, F 2 Responses Aug 16

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    My self esteem has been slightly higher than usual, so I may start posting more selfies :p
    Smileydork Smileydork 13-15, F 6 Responses Aug 15

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    I don't feel good about my physical or mental appearance. The only time I feel truly happy is when I'm self harming, and because of that, I'm now recovering from severe self-harm...
    PenelopePotter PenelopePotter 13-15, F 1 Response Aug 15

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    When your toddler gets a hold of scissors and starts running around the house, what do you do? You chase after him. Until the moment you get the sharp object from his hands, you...
    Bflyboo14 Bflyboo14 13-15, F 3 Responses Aug 14

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    I think selfish people are entitled to be selfish ( as long as they realize that in being selfish they'll have no/fewer friends :-)
    cashetty69 cashetty69 51-55, M Aug 14

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    Yes I do selfharm. I have been through recovery 3 times but all times failed because I can't stay clean for that long. I have a therapist but I don't see him often because I don't...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Aug 14

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    I wish that I can like myself for who I am even just for one day. I'm tired of disliking who I am. I've had a low self esteem since I was a child. :/ I feel like my low self esteem...
    rcmh171822 rcmh171822 18-21, F 5 Responses Aug 13

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    Low? haha i don't even have self esteem or self confidence or whatever it is
    someoneyoumightknow00 someoneyoumightknow00 18-21, M 3 Responses Aug 13

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    My self doubting and insecurities are honestly affecting my life in a very negative way. I'm not accomplishing the things I need to accomplish because I'm afraid I will fail and...
    Justtryingtofindmyway95 Justtryingtofindmyway95 18-21, F 4 Responses Aug 12

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