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I Am a Self Injurer

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,289 People

    I see those girls at school all the time.

    The ones who scratch their arms, wear short-sleeved shirt, then claim to have depression just to get attention. There are millions of those kinds of people. Then there's me. That zealous, intelligent, confident girl who everyone knows. Sometimes I wonder if anyone has ever...
    PolicyDebateKicksAff PolicyDebateKicksAff 16-17, F 1 Response Jan 15, 2014

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    wrestlingwithhope wrestlingwithhope 41-45, M 2 Responses Jun 29

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    To Help You Understand

    Why do people self harm? There are a few possibilities, and the answer is probably a mixture of them. Biological predisposition, reduction of tension, and lack of experience in dealing with strong emotions are all factors. It reduces physiological and psychological tension...
    AlyShine AlyShine 18-21, F 5 Responses Mar 27, 2013

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    I love the pain when I cut.

    The razor cutting into my skin. I am addicted to self harm. I stopped for a few months but recently my Aunty passed away and I got the urge to self harm again and I gave in. I'm so ashamed that I started again but in a way I get a buzz from it. I really don't know what to do. My...
    ThatTattooedGirl ThatTattooedGirl 18-21, F Feb 11, 2014

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    Razor Blade Lullaby

    Razor blade, razor blade Sing me a song Soothe my pain Although clearly it’s wrong The thoughts in my head Just won’t go away So please I need you To help me today A different pain to focus on Just make me feel better Even if just for a while The guilt will...
    fall3n fall3n 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 29, 2013

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    My Story

    So here's my story.  My name is Rob, I'm 19, and the last time I cut myself was about a month ago.  It was after I had felt like I had failed at trying to save a friendship that I had with my friend Ashley.  However after I cut myself she then came down to my dorm room to...
    SpeakOutMediaGroup SpeakOutMediaGroup 18-21, M Jun 5, 2012

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    Hiya, i'm Gavin, i like to help others with

    depression/self-harm, so if you want a friend message me :)
    GavinP GavinP 13-15, M Jun 29

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    "Made Of Scars" This one came from

    looking This one opened twice These two seem as smooth as silk, flush against my eyes This one needed stitches and This one came from rings This one isn't even there, but I feel it more because you don't care Yeah, Cut right into me Yeah, Cause I am Made Of Scars Yes I am made...
    xxMsLedxx xxMsLedxx 41-45, F Dec 7, 2013

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    This sucks, There's not much other way to say

    it. In the past few months, I've convinced everyone around me that I'm so much better. I don't deserve my friends, they deserve someone better. The same goes for my family. I'm just the ****-up that screwed it all up, just by being born. I've said it before: that I shouldn't...
    MizuNiatora MizuNiatora 16-17, F 1 Response Jan 17, 2014

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    My Life

    Hi everyone i am 14 years old turning 15 soon. I am a Freshman in high school. Im depressed. When i was 8 years old i lost my grandmother. I was very close to her we did everything together. We went to the movies, ate lunch, went shopping,and more. I lost her 6 almost 7 years ago...
    PurplePuzzle PurplePuzzle 16-17, F 1 Response Mar 25, 2013

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    I've been self injuring

    since I was 11. I started cutting to keep myself from killing myself after my first suicide attempt. It gets easier at times not to do so but I am almost always triggered to do so. Anything and everything can trigger me and it makes it darned near impossible to live a normal...
    AngeniMai AngeniMai 18-21, F 2 Responses Apr 27, 2014

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    I started when I was 13

    and now I'm 23. I've gone through periods where I haven't done it but I always end up going back. I asked a therapist why I go back all the time and he told me it's because I know it works as a coping skill. Makes sense right? I still think about it and have the urge to but I...
    alice8392 alice8392 22-25, F 1 Response Jun 29

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    Can you all think about

    why this group is mostly girls?
    EkramIbrahim EkramIbrahim 13-15, F 6 Responses Jun 29

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    I have been struggling with self injury

    for the past 3 years now... I feel like I should be "over it" by now, but the urges are always there. Whether it be stress that causes it, or flashbacks and memories from the past, it's always there. Currently I am 60 days free without cutting. After a major panic attack today...
    Stargirlml Stargirlml 18-21, F Mar 5, 2014

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    I love the feeling of my blade.

    I resist the urge to feel my pain. I want so bad to make it real. But, I know Its not good to feel. I dig myself a shallow grave, and pretend it's just a phase but I know that by tomorrow today's pain will be over and I will have a new problem that will arise to make me want to...
    soitskindoflikeadiary soitskindoflikeadiary 18-21, F Jan 22, 2014

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    I Will Not Stop.

    I've been cutting for 3 years and I don't want to stop until it kills me.
    bleedingstars bleedingstars 13-15, F 1 Response Jan 19, 2013

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    Me.

    at first i cut myself because this girl in my class did it and i wanted to know what about it felt so good. after i tried it i felt a kind of rush seeing all the blood dripping. after that i started cutting for every reason i could find. when im sad,mad,or even annoyed. i dont...
    dyinglittlebylittle dyinglittlebylittle 13-15, F 2 Responses Aug 9, 2011

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    A Cutters Lullaby

    Let’s go to sleep; Close our eyes, And dream of broken butterflies That tore their wings against a thorn. We know the pain that they have borne. Silver metal, shine so bright. Scarlet blood that feels so right. Dream of blood tickling down, And wake up just before we drown...
    fall3n fall3n 18-21, F Jul 29, 2013

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    My Story

    I've been self harming since I was 10 years old. I'm now 22. It started out small like giving myself paper cuts on purpose. Then it got worse. I started taking apart shaving blades and using them to self harm. When I was 18 I tried to kill myself. I saw no point in living...
    animalwatcher22 animalwatcher22 22-25, F 1 Response Jun 10, 2013

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    Getting Help?

    I have been cutting for 3 years now and I have finally been caught. My parents finally noticed and freaked. Now, I;m going to a therapist and I'm absolutely terrified! I don't know what to expect and I don't like even thinking about it! What is my therapist is a ***** or a...
    gabs4help gabs4help 16-17, F 5 Responses Jun 30, 2013

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    Today everything came to the surface.

    Nothing about self harm, or my depression, but something stupid I had said about a boy that was starting to grow on me, and it got back to him. He was offended by it and messaged me about it, he basically cussed me out for being so stupid, trying to say I'm wrong and I know even...
    FarrahRelates FarrahRelates 22-25, F May 20, 2014

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    Waiting Till Midnight

    I havent cut myself in a long time.I havent burt myself in even longer.But tonight i think it might happen because the alternative to cutting is much worse. The last couple days were good until today and yesterday.Now im completely drained of patience.I have to release some of...
    Passionfruit3 Passionfruit3 22-25, F 7 Responses Jan 26, 2013

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    I'm going into my 4th month of self injuring .

    It helps me a lot. My mom knows that I self injure but she didn't ask why or anything. She just threatened to take my door off to my room if I continue to, said I can't let anyone from school see my cuts and she told me she was so embarrassed that I cut. It was an accident that...
    Timelord1702 Timelord1702 16-17, F 1 Response Jun 28

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    A Never Ending Battle.

    It feels like I'll never be able to quit. It feels like this is going to affect me for my whole life. It's an addiction. I hate it. I hate myself for it. So why do I run to it? Cutting.... replacing the emotional pain that builds up, the anger, sadness, hurt, depression, all of...
    Kitcat122 Kitcat122 13-15, F 2 Responses Apr 2, 2013

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    I've started cutting again.

    And it just makes me feel relaxed and stress free. My boyfriend hates me for it but at this point I don't really care what he thinks. He says I need someone to talk to and open up to. But I refuse for that person to be him. So I think I'm going to take his advice and open up on...
    cassiemae115 cassiemae115 18-21, F 5 Responses Mar 5, 2014

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    Battling An Addiction

    I've self harmed for about 3 years. It's been such a hard thing to deal with because I feel like self harm splits you into two different people. There's that side of you that wants to keep deceiving your family members and friends and continue to self injure but there's another...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Apr 16, 2013

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    I love the buzz I get

    when the razor dogs in...
    cassiemae115 cassiemae115 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 5, 2014

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    I am struggling big time with Self-injury.

    I have been dealing with Self-injury since I was about 9 or 10, I can't remember exactly when it started, but I remember why, I have been struggling with it for many years, over the years, I have been able to control the urges here and there, and sometimes I go months without...
    BroknGirl89 BroknGirl89 26-30, F Jul 2

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    Moments like this make me miss cutting.

    I look at my scars and wish I could just pick up the blade and release some of this anxiety and emotional pain.
    JM2014 JM2014 22-25, F Jul 14

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    My Sh Diary-day 30

    DAY 30 Post your favorite picture of yourself and write a positive message to look back on. So this the last day...at the beginning I wondered how it will feel when I will be answering the last question. Firstly, I will not post any picture of me, I don't even have a favorite...
    kj666 kj666 18-21, F Mar 4, 2013

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    And I don't see what is wrong with it.

    I've been doing it since I was 10. I stopped for a few years after a couple visits to the looney bin. They made me feel like it was some horrible thing that was just all bad. But honestly since I started again I feel less stressed and more outgoing. Just happier altogether. Plus...
    DigitalBlue DigitalBlue 22-25, F 2 Responses Apr 7, 2014

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    I started when I was 14,

    I'm almost 18 now, and dying to quit cutting. The release I get from it right at that moment feels great, but after that I always feel crappier than before, and am left to deal with the scars that are left behind on my body. At one point I had to start looking for places to...
    keshanahr keshanahr 16-17, F 1 Response Aug 8

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    No One Ever Hears My Side.

    I'm always the bad guy, I am the one who screws up, No one even considers hearing my side. and this is why i do what i do. This is why i think the way i think because no one cares about me as long as my younger sister has a problem. Or my older brother needs money. They are...
    battlefighter battlefighter 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 2, 2013

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    I was clean for almost half a year.

    . until a few minutes ago..
    heyidkman heyidkman 13-15, F 2 Responses Nov 21, 2014

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    I am and go long periods of time without being

    self destructive but when I do self injurer, the outcome is never pretty.
    bandlovermcr bandlovermcr 13-15, F 1 Response Sep 21, 2014

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    Matches And Razors

    Being an on and off cutter for 2 years, I just recently started playing with fire, literally. The first time, I used matches. I let them cool down quite a bit first, as I had never hurt myself with fire before. When they had healed mostly, I took a spring from a pen, heated it up...
    lilypad99 lilypad99 18-21 Aug 28, 2012

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    I'm slowly getting better.

    Let's just hope I can fully and completely stop.
    bandlovermcr bandlovermcr 13-15, F Sep 28, 2014

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    Start With Something Easy

    I will blow up if I don't tell someone about myself. So, let me start It all started easy. I wanted to forget a guy who I've been crushing for some time, but thought I'm crazy and mentally impaired. I started using rubber band. In no time, I had used it to cope with every other...
    ngl123 ngl123 13-15 Mar 14, 2013

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    Just One More Cut

    Everyday i ask myself where is my razor? Is there somewhere i can go to hide and get away? Where would i cut? I have been cutting for some time now. At least 4 years. My cutting is the reason I've yet to get my arms tattooed. As soon as i learn to stop this...
    xSummerofBiohazardx xSummerofBiohazardx 18-21, F Mar 5, 2013

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    Almost Over The Edge

    I get really sensitive with things. I can't stand yelling I can't stand the anger in my house. It's to much to handle, to much to hear. I try to drown it out with music but it says in my head, it won't go away. There's too much emotion inside and I want to release it so badly. I...
    BeautifulStarlight BeautifulStarlight 18-21, F 5 Responses May 16, 2012

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    I have a huge tolerance

    for pain. It's made me tougher, but I'm looking for the next rush. Experimenting and finding what I like. I have to control myself. People will freak I know. I love pain. It's a sexual pleasure for me. I love listening to those of others and seeing pics. Rarely is it a source...
    MentAl69noMAD MentAl69noMAD 18-21 1 Response Jul 10, 2014

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    Hey. So, today I have a doctor's appointment.

    .. But I have brand new cuts. I'm afraid he'll tell my parents, so I want to cover up. The thing is that he's probably going to ask me to take my jacket off. How can I cover up????
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Apr 24

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    I cut when I was a teenager,

    stopped for several years, started again when I was older, haven't cut in 6 months now, but the urges are really bad today
    Wi5huponastar Wi5huponastar 26-30, F 1 Response Mar 5, 2014

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    Poem

    She paints a pretty picture but this picture has a twist you see.. A razor is her paintbrush and her body is her canvas. She paints her pretty picture in a color that's blood red. While using her sharp paintbrush she ends up finally dead. The blood no longer races through as the...
    Lostlover848 Lostlover848 18-21, F Mar 22, 2013

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    I Ask One Thing.

    Chances are we've never met. Still, I'm writing because I hope to help you feel better. I know things are hard for you though, and that the stress is sometimes just to much. I understand you have a lot you go through, and how it seems like no one gets you. You've managed to...
    SkinnyThoughtsAndRedLipstick SkinnyThoughtsAndRedLipstick 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 25, 2013

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    I started when I was sixteen

    or seventeen. I read an article about self-harm in Seventeen magazine and in all honesty, I was depressed, miserable, full of hate and anger and I wanted to see what would happen. I go through times in which I do it and times I don't. I know I should probably pledge never to do...
    Emeryael Emeryael 26-30, F Jun 29