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I Am a Self Injurer

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,083 People

    Still Triggered

    I self harmed again today, though it helped it didn't last as long as I'm used to. For about 2 minutes I was ok. Then it all came back and now I'm at the same position I was before I self injured. Ughh!!! So triggered...
    hippiegirlxox hippiegirlxox 16-17, F Mar 21, 2013

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    I'm Used To Pain.

    since I can remember I've been told getting angry at others is not going to accomplish anything and good boys don't hit back. so I didn't no my release was more subtle, I was a pretty accident prone kid, and discovered picking cuts was a great way to get the anger out and inflict...
    magpiejack magpiejack 36-40, M 1 Response Sep 23, 2013

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    My Life

    Hi everyone i am 14 years old turning 15 soon. I am a Freshman in high school. Im depressed. When i was 8 years old i lost my grandmother. I was very close to her we did everything together. We went to the movies, ate lunch, went shopping,and more. I lost her 6 almost 7 years ago...
    PurplePuzzle PurplePuzzle 13-15, F 1 Response Mar 25, 2013

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    I love the feeling of my blade.

    I resist the urge to feel my pain. I want so bad to make it real. But, I know Its not good to feel. I dig myself a shallow grave, and pretend it's just a phase but I know that by tomorrow today's pain will be over and I will have a new problem that will arise to make me want to...
    soitskindoflikeadiary soitskindoflikeadiary 16-17, F 1 Response Jan 22

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    No One Ever Hears My Side.

    I'm always the bad guy, I am the one who screws up, No one even considers hearing my side. and this is why i do what i do. This is why i think the way i think because no one cares about me as long as my younger sister has a problem. Or my older brother needs money. They are...
    battlefighter battlefighter 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 2, 2013

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    This sucks, There's not much other way to say

    it. In the past few months, I've convinced everyone around me that I'm so much better. I don't deserve my friends, they deserve someone better. The same goes for my family. I'm just the ****-up that screwed it all up, just by being born. I've said it before: that I shouldn't...
    MizuNiatora MizuNiatora 13-15, F 1 Response Jan 17

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    Razor Blade Lullaby

    Razor blade, razor blade Sing me a song Soothe my pain Although clearly it’s wrong The thoughts in my head Just won’t go away So please I need you To help me today A different pain to focus on Just make me feel better Even if just for a while The guilt will...
    fall3n fall3n 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 29, 2013

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    I love the pain when I cut.

    The razor cutting into my skin. I am addicted to self harm. I stopped for a few months but recently my Aunty passed away and I got the urge to self harm again and I gave in. I'm so ashamed that I started again but in a way I get a buzz from it. I really don't know what to do. My...
    HC12345 HC12345 16-17, F Feb 11

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    Poem

    She paints a pretty picture but this picture has a twist you see.. A razor is her paintbrush and her body is her canvas. She paints her pretty picture in a color that's blood red. While using her sharp paintbrush she ends up finally dead. The blood no longer races through as the...
    Lostlover848 Lostlover848 18-21, F Mar 22, 2013

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    Just Another Story...

    I'm really sorry, I don't speak english very well because I'm french so it won't be perfect. I'm a transgender of 18 years. I've self-harmed about 4 years, at the beginning it was because my father died and I take care about my mother, so I didn't want to show her what I fel. But...
    Jordanoulamant Jordanoulamant 18-21, T 2 Responses Apr 27, 2013

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    Terrified

    On Friday my best friend told my guidance counsellor that I have been cutting. She didn't tell me that she was going to tell her, so it freaked me out when Mrs. C came to my geography room. I wasn't in the room at the time, I was late for class. When I got to class my teacher...
    Kaptinkat Kaptinkat 16-17, F 2 Responses Nov 24, 2013

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    I see those girls at school all the time.

    The ones who scratch their arms, wear short-sleeved shirt, then claim to have depression just to get attention. There are millions of those kinds of people. Then there's me. That zealous, intelligent, confident girl who everyone knows. Sometimes I wonder if anyone has ever...
    PolicyDebateKicksAff PolicyDebateKicksAff 16-17, F 1 Response Jan 15

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    Again

    A year and half ago I started. Six months ago I stopped. Tonight I started again. Tonight I couldn't feel anything. What if this never ends?
    BaritoneBassClef BaritoneBassClef 16-17, F Aug 18, 2013

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    I cut when I was a teenager,

    stopped for several years, started again when I was older, haven't cut in 6 months now, but the urges are really bad today
    Wi5huponastar Wi5huponastar 22-25, F 2 Responses Mar 5

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    Battling An Addiction

    I've self harmed for about 3 years. It's been such a hard thing to deal with because I feel like self harm splits you into two different people. There's that side of you that wants to keep deceiving your family members and friends and continue to self injure but there's another...
    Ashley12311 Ashley12311 16-17, F 2 Responses Apr 16, 2013

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    Just One More Cut

    Everyday i ask myself where is my razor? Is there somewhere i can go to hide and get away? Where would i cut? I have been cutting for some time now. At least 4 years. My cutting is the reason I've yet to get my arms tattooed. As soon as i learn to stop this...
    xSummerofBiohazardx xSummerofBiohazardx 18-21, F Mar 5, 2013

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    I Want To Stop. But I Dont

    i was clean for a year. no more cuts...scars started fully healing. and it all went away now im back to who i used to be. i feel sick and twisted from the release i get from watching the blood flow down and cover my arms and legs. its something i cant stop. no matter how hot it...
    kaidaRen kaidaRen 18-21, F Jul 27, 2013

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    Oh, So You Are One Of Those People.

    I recently started a new job. In a profession I am completely unfamiliar. One that involves interacting with the general public, and also requires me to put on some sort of facade of approachability and friendliness. When what I really want to do is fade away into a corner...
    jro2729 jro2729 26-30, F 1 Response Jun 24, 2013

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    First

    Well. For the first time, I cut somewhere other than my left arm. I got a disgusting amount of pleasure from feeling the blood slowly drip down my right leg. I'm so scared. I feel like I've crossed a bridge that leads somewhere I don't want to go. Before I could contain it to one...
    calcgirl calcgirl 18-21, F Jul 6, 2013

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    I Ask One Thing.

    Chances are we've never met. Still, I'm writing because I hope to help you feel better. I know things are hard for you though, and that the stress is sometimes just to much. I understand you have a lot you go through, and how it seems like no one gets you. You've managed to...
    SkinnyThoughtsAndRedLipstick SkinnyThoughtsAndRedLipstick 16-17, F 2 Responses Feb 25, 2013

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    Clean And Sober

    clean and sober for 145 days. after my suicide attempt and 3rd stay in the hospital im clean. i realized that what my mom did really had an impact on me but i cant let that rule me forever. i was cutting and not eating because i was angry and depressed and had anxiety and...
    Hunterjumperctr Hunterjumperctr 13-15, F Aug 27, 2013

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    16 Years Old, Selfharmer For 3-4 Years, 3 Months Clean; But I Feel The Urge Again.

    I've been having terrible nightmares lately. I'm stressed with school and work. I'm tired and overwhelmed with life and on top of it all I've been having really bad withdrawals lately. I just want to cut so bad. The temptation is everywhere. The triggers are everywhere. The...
    wastedpaint wastedpaint 16-17, F 2 Responses Nov 7, 2013

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    Getting Help?

    I have been cutting for 3 years now and I have finally been caught. My parents finally noticed and freaked. Now, I;m going to a therapist and I'm absolutely terrified! I don't know what to expect and I don't like even thinking about it! What is my therapist is a ***** or a...
    gabs4help gabs4help 13-15, F 5 Responses Jun 30, 2013

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    A Few Thoughts On Self Injury.

    As I write this, I am sitting at the desk in my student accommodation bedroom. The bedroom paid for me by the government. I'm drinking the wine paid for me by the government, and viewing this website on the internet paid by the government. And the only condition to this...
    Alora44 Alora44 18-21, F 1 Response Sep 24, 2013

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    Waiting Till Midnight

    I havent cut myself in a long time.I havent burt myself in even longer.But tonight i think it might happen because the alternative to cutting is much worse. The last couple days were good until today and yesterday.Now im completely drained of patience.I have to release some of...
    Passionfruit3 Passionfruit3 18-21, F 5 Responses Jan 26, 2013

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    My Self-Harming, And The Reasoning Behind It.

    I recently went through two bad break-ups that have been a major reason behind my scars. I have family issues that i suffer from 24/7. Two of my "friends" left me because of my self-harming, which, of course, made it worse. They told Taylor that I'm in love with Emily, the girl...
    maddierosee maddierosee 22-25, F Sep 25, 2013

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    "Made Of Scars" This one came from

    looking This one opened twice These two seem as smooth as silk, flush against my eyes This one needed stitches and This one came from rings This one isn't even there, but I feel it more because you don't care Yeah, Cut right into me Yeah, Cause I am Made Of Scars Yes I am made...
    xxMsLedxx xxMsLedxx 41-45, F Dec 7, 2013

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    It'S A Shame...

    Yesterday i went out to eat with my boyfriend and his family. It was a warm spring day, i wanted to wear a skirt and a cute shirt to go with it. But the cuts on my arms said "no, not today.". I wore a long sleve blouse with my skirt, while everyone else was wearing short sleves...
    xSummerofBiohazardx xSummerofBiohazardx 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 17, 2013

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    Dear You, Love Me

    *This is something i went through with my mom figure, My veiw & thoughts of that horrible day* It was a normal day, I always talk to you before I get off the bus. Because you care. I was just quoting someone saying the world would be a better place with out me, but I guess I...
    ProudByChoice ProudByChoice 13-15, F Feb 28, 2013

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    My Self Injury Story

    I started self injuring the summer of 2003. I was 12 years old. I was bullied throughout the 5th and 6th grade which caused me to become very depressed and suicidal. I remember reading an article about self injury on a website for a teen magazine. In the article they mentioned as...
    AlexDreamsItAway AlexDreamsItAway 22-25 1 Response Oct 8, 2013

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    I love the buzz I get

    when the razor dogs in...
    cassiemae115 cassiemae115 16-17, F 1 Response Mar 5

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    A Never Ending Battle.

    It feels like I'll never be able to quit. It feels like this is going to affect me for my whole life. It's an addiction. I hate it. I hate myself for it. So why do I run to it? Cutting.... replacing the emotional pain that builds up, the anger, sadness, hurt, depression, all of...
    Kitcat122 Kitcat122 13-15, F 2 Responses Apr 2, 2013

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    And I don't see what is wrong with it.

    I've been doing it since I was 10. I stopped for a few years after a couple visits to the looney bin. They made me feel like it was some horrible thing that was just all bad. But honestly since I started again I feel less stressed and more outgoing. Just happier altogether. Plus...
    DigitalBlue DigitalBlue 18-21, F 3 Responses Apr 7

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    A Cutters Lullaby

    Let’s go to sleep; Close our eyes, And dream of broken butterflies That tore their wings against a thorn. We know the pain that they have borne. Silver metal, shine so bright. Scarlet blood that feels so right. Dream of blood tickling down, And wake up just before we drown...
    fall3n fall3n 18-21, F Jul 29, 2013

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    I Love To Cut.

    Cold shiny blade. Hot rushes under the skin. When the cold touches the hot, opposites attract. The metal kisses my pale wrist, and glides smoothly down. Red rubies start to appear, a beautiful contrast to the pale skin. The red rubies slowly form a line. A beautiful red line...
    PolarBearMel PolarBearMel 16-17, F 3 Responses Nov 3, 2013

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    My Sh Diary-day 28

    DAY 28 What short-term goals do you have? I've actually made some long-term goals. Finally I decided what do I want to study and do in my life. I try to make my dreams come true...and it keeps me going.
    kj666 kj666 18-21, F Mar 3, 2013

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    Matches And Razors

    Being an on and off cutter for 2 years, I just recently started playing with fire, literally. The first time, I used matches. I let them cool down quite a bit first, as I had never hurt myself with fire before. When they had healed mostly, I took a spring from a pen, heated it up...
    lilypad99 lilypad99 18-21 Aug 28, 2012

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    Your Own Happy Ending

    Its tough. It seems no one understands and guess what? Most won't understand. For most it is unthinkable to even place a blade to ones skin. Unthinkable to even have that thought. Scary enough to keep to yourself. After all do you want the be crazy? Some will understand. It is...
    drakneko drakneko 22-25, T 1 Response Oct 19, 2013

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    My Story

    I've been self harming since I was 10 years old. I'm now 22. It started out small like giving myself paper cuts on purpose. Then it got worse. I started taking apart shaving blades and using them to self harm. When I was 18 I tried to kill myself. I saw no point in living...
    animalwatcher22 animalwatcher22 22-25, F Jun 10, 2013

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    Fear. Worry. Guilt

    So I'm just going to start from the middle, I don't know if I have a beginning and I still haven't found ending. This is going to act as a diary, except other people can read it, I guess that defeats the purpose of diary but I think the anonymity of it, is like hiding a notebook...
    searchingforchrysanthemums searchingforchrysanthemums 13-15, F 1 Response Nov 12, 2013

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    My Story

    So here's my story.  My name is Rob, I'm 19, and the last time I cut myself was about a month ago.  It was after I had felt like I had failed at trying to save a friendship that I had with my friend Ashley.  However after I cut myself she then came down to my dorm room to...
    SpeakOutMediaGroup SpeakOutMediaGroup 18-21, M Jun 5, 2012

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    I Will Not Stop.

    I've been cutting for 3 years and I don't want to stop until it kills me.
    bleedingstars bleedingstars 13-15, F 1 Response Jan 19, 2013

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    I have been struggling with self injury

    for the past 3 years now... I feel like I should be "over it" by now, but the urges are always there. Whether it be stress that causes it, or flashbacks and memories from the past, it's always there. Currently I am 60 days free without cutting. After a major panic attack today...
    Stargirlml Stargirlml 18-21, F Mar 5

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    Red Wrists

    I cut. There I said it. If anyone knew I would be hated. Everyone thinks I am happy. Look on my wrists and you will see I am not. I am knew to this, and I dont do it for attention. It was just scraching at first. I loved looking at them. They looked like scars, but would fade...
    OnyxBlack OnyxBlack 16-17, F 1 Response May 19, 2013

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    Start With Something Easy

    I will blow up if I don't tell someone about myself. So, let me start It all started easy. I wanted to forget a guy who I've been crushing for some time, but thought I'm crazy and mentally impaired. I started using rubber band. In no time, I had used it to cope with every other...
    ngl123 ngl123 13-15 Mar 14, 2013

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    To Help You Understand

    Why do people self harm? There are a few possibilities, and the answer is probably a mixture of them. Biological predisposition, reduction of tension, and lack of experience in dealing with strong emotions are all factors. It reduces physiological and psychological tension...
    AlyShine AlyShine 18-21, F 6 Responses Mar 27, 2013

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    My Sh Diary-day 30

    DAY 30 Post your favorite picture of yourself and write a positive message to look back on. So this the last day...at the beginning I wondered how it will feel when I will be answering the last question. Firstly, I will not post any picture of me, I don't even have a favorite...
    kj666 kj666 18-21, F Mar 4, 2013

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    I Need Tips

    hey, my name is jessica and i just started cutting, and i need tips any one have any for me?
    ana37 ana37 13-15, F 3 Responses Oct 7, 2013

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    Me.

    at first i cut myself because this girl in my class did it and i wanted to know what about it felt so good. after i tried it i felt a kind of rush seeing all the blood dripping. after that i started cutting for every reason i could find. when im sad,mad,or even annoyed. i dont...
    dyinglittlebylittle dyinglittlebylittle 13-15, F 2 Responses Aug 9, 2011

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    New Support Site!

    A site made by mental health sufferers that offers support to people struggling with various mental health issues. It has just been made so it hasn’t gotten many members and posts yet but please check it out! http://the-funny-farm.webs.com/
    AlexDreamsItAway AlexDreamsItAway 22-25 1 Response Oct 10, 2013

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    I've started cutting again.

    And it just makes me feel relaxed and stress free. My boyfriend hates me for it but at this point I don't really care what he thinks. He says I need someone to talk to and open up to. But I refuse for that person to be him. So I think I'm going to take his advice and open up on...
    cassiemae115 cassiemae115 16-17, F 3 Responses Mar 5

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    Related Experiences

    Just found my own personal flesh and blood Ana … couldn't be happier 😏😘
    lost1234567 lost1234567 16-17, F Mar 24

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    I really really want to start cutting again, but I cant because my boyfriend will blame him self or will tell my mom but I need it bad ive fallin back to it but I need it home can...
    innocentangel101 innocentangel101 16-17, F 3 hrs ago

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    I love self harming to see my blood sometimes when I cut and don't see blood I get angry and frustrated...
    Rishay Rishay 16-17, F 1 Response 2 hrs ago

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    My favorite band of all time would be.. Mindless Self Indulgence. It's weird how they have a HUGE fanbase but you'll never hear them on the radio or see them on TV. I guess it's...
    adorea adorea 70+, F 1 hr ago

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    For you (many, girls), who cut yourselves. Please remember that some of us love you, care about you. ----- Food for thought (an article from Psychology Today) ----- Sax on Sex...
    Karll Karll 56-60, M 1 Response Mar 29

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