I Am a Sensitive Person - Forum & Chat Board | Sensitive... me?

Am I sensitive? I dunno. you decide:

Imagine a nun in prayer with a pair of headphones on, & the muic playing is Def Leppard - Run Riot.... so loud I think the neighbours can hear. That's what i'm listening to right now. It's LOUD too!

i just feel like I'm gonna explode like an atomic bomb. I need to explode.

Where the **** do I belong????? I've never fitted in. Right through my entire life.

I'm 40, unemployed, intelligent, motivated, creative, musical for 25 years & I've never done anything of any significance since I left school. I don't belong anywhere. What's wrong with me?

WHO THE **** AM I ???

Yes I am sensitive because I hate 2 faced ppl. They say one thing to your face and another behind your back. 2 examples: 1. My mother-in-law and 2. My 7yo stepson.

Your sensitive.  It's not a bad thing, I mean really would you want to be like s many other people that don't give a damn about anything but themselves, money, power, and screwing over as many people as possible just because they can?  Don't we have enough of that already?

I'm sure you've done a lot that is significant, you just are judging yourself harder than you would judge anyone else and not seeing the small triumphs that you do every day.. like making an elderly person smile or warming the heart of the girl that served up your coffee with your smile and greeting.. little things that you don't give yourself credit for but that improve someone Else's mood or day.

I have given up on trying to fit in and it has lifted my spirits tremendously!  I don't want to fit in... there are enough people that do that. 

Now I was very lucky in that I did have one friend in my life (she has recently passed) that made me feel like I was perfectly fine just the quirky way I am.  She made me feel as though my family had missed something when they considered me an oddity or an embarrassment.  Her friendship and acceptance healed me to the point where I could take over, nurture my own internal wounds and come out happy. 

Sometimes I still wished that I fit in, had a group of friends like other people do but not very often.  I have found what gives me peace and embraced it.

I used to draw and am quite creative by nature.  Drawing was my first love and my entire life's goal.  I gave up a scholarship to an art institute when I was 18.   I was pregnant.  I have no regrets with that decision but I do feel as though I have wasted a very precious gift and I feel guilty about that. I understand what it's like to feel as though you have not done anything significant enough.

I think that when you are creative you HAVE to create and that when you deny that need or squelch it you create a wound or a hole inside yourself.  I believe that when you are true to yourself and your needs you no longer have  to search for a place to belong outside of yourself.  You don't need the approval of others, you only need your approval.  I think that when you achieve that others will feel about you as you feel for yourself.  Have you been creating for the sake of creating? 

Now... as for the feeling I haven't done enough with the gifts I was given... that still haunts me sometimes.  On the upswing this life ain't over yet and I have time!!!