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I Am a Sexual Abuse Survivor

Helping each other heal and not letting the abusers win! 181 People

    I Often Wonder If I Did...

    I often wonder if I did surivie my abuse, becuase sometimes, I still have terrible nightmares, and terrible flashbacks about the abuse. People who I have talked to, have told me I have, but I need to learn to forgive and forget, but that is just so damn hard. I wish I could, but...
    deleted deleted
    1 Response Oct 13, 2009

    Haunted By Child Sexual Abuse

    i feel like the pain won't go away , the humiliations it brings never goes away. it started when i was about 4 but i have vague feelings of it even before but i usually say well around 4 to 5 til was definately happening. my great uncle used to molest me and touch me at the...
    czaristacrystals czaristacrystals
    36-40, F
    2 Responses Mar 19, 2010

    New Blog

    hey, everyone. today was my dad's sentencing and i read my victim impact statement. i posted a blog about it if you want to check it out. 
    InsaneInTheMembrane InsaneInTheMembrane
    36-40, F
    Apr 26, 2008

    Can't Forgive Him

    It took me a long time to write my story. I'm going to spare the details. I was molested by my oldest brother from the time I was 9 till about 12 or 13. I was really withdrawn as a child and I am still in the process of putting my life back together. I am currently in therapy and...
    a8willia a8willia
    3 Responses Aug 1, 2010

    I Was 4 Yrs Old When It Happened

    I was 4 years old when it happened to me. I was told by my mother and sister that the super in our apt. building where we lived in the Bronx, had kittens in basement and that I should see them. I went down there but I do not have any memory or image of kittens to recall. Instead...
    knownow knownow
    56-60, F
    2 Responses Apr 17, 2009

    Me Three

    My story...   I am twenty years old, female, and was diagnosed with D.I.D about four years ago.  I grew up in an abusive household, physically and sexually and attempted to raise my two younger sisters at the same time.  The abuse started when I was a...
    LadyofManyMinds LadyofManyMinds
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Oct 27, 2009

    Letter To My Inner Hidden Child...

    letters to my hidden inner child As an overweight person, u learn to hide. U hide food, u hide love, u hide hate, jealousy, fear. Most of all u learn to hide your weight behind clothes. I’ve been overweight all my life. It started as far as I can remember when I was 12. I had...
    rediscovering rediscovering
    1 Response Mar 14, 2011

    I Am A Survivor

    When I was 9 my mother remarried...when I was 12 I was raped. I even had a child by the abuser.This continued for years and I was finally able to get away. I still have the most horrific nightmares and my mother still lives in the town nearby my abuser was sent to...
    Cougarcub2002 Cougarcub2002
    1 Response Dec 19, 2011

    Letting Go...

    When my father was around i was a daddy's girl, i had everything i needed, was secured financially, and he was very protective with me. i felt safe around him and i loved him very much. He was taken to prison years back, after he was taken to prison my mom met who is my step...
    roseyvonne roseyvonne
    22-25, F
    25 Responses Apr 4, 2012

    Im a Surviver Im Not Goin to Give Up

    i  have been sexual abused most of my life i still have some hard times but overall im doing very well dont get me wrong it took a long time to get here years of differnt meds and therapy but finaliy at a place where i can remermber and not go crazy. if anyone here needs to...
    bellesforpele bellesforpele
    26-30, F
    3 Responses Feb 18, 2008

    Abuse Has Made Me Fridget

    I hate that word "fridget" but I think I am like that to some degree, I don't trust all men, and I only desire certain types of men. like today I seen this gorgeous young geek type guy with glasses, slim build and dark hair he had a lovely face and looked so beautiful hold...
    czaristacrystals czaristacrystals
    36-40, F
    1 Response Mar 26, 2010


    I was molested by my cousin and a next door neighbor for years as a child. I am still dealing with it as an adult now. It took me forever to trust men again. I met my husband and he changed all my fears towards men. I thank my lucky stars that I let him into my life. I get...
    picgirl picgirl
    31-35, F
    7 Responses Nov 23, 2007

    Wasn't It Normal ?

    as a child I took it for granted that it was normal to be sexually touched up, or being accussed of doing things you weren't doing or being blamed for almost anything that went wrong in the house. OK that started with my grandmother, and previously it was with my in-laws and...
    czaristacrystals czaristacrystals
    36-40, F
    Mar 26, 2010
    Wi5huponastar Wi5huponastar
    26-30, F
    Mar 5, 2014

    Living The Shame!!!! Of Abuse

      my name is Catherine, I come from australia and am a white anglo-saxon heritage growing up as a child in the 70's and teen in the 80's -90's was very isolating in Queensland -Birsbane/Ipswich/Redlands suburbs - we were not wealthy but I went to a catholic girls...
    czaristacrystals czaristacrystals
    36-40, F
    Apr 4, 2010

    I'm a Survivor

    I've been sitting here, staring at this blank box for 10 minutes now. I don't know why. I've written about my abuse before. I guess it never really gets easy. My first abuser was the pastor of my church. I remember very little of it. I was only 3 or 4 at the time. I just...
    deleted deleted
    2 Responses Jan 28, 2008

    Never Felt Real Love

    it started when i was three years old. my aunt would creep into my room at night with her drug addict friends and she would watch as they molested me. when you're that young its hard to tell the difference from a good touch and a bad one. at first they would just have me touch...
    strangerwithcandy strangerwithcandy
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Feb 12, 2010

    All A Bit Of A Blur...

    I was sexually abused when I was 16.  But I dont remember it. I talk to a therapist for other things,and she thinks theres something  that  I'm leaving out. To tell you the truth, I found a cut on my arm that says 'he hurt me'  I dont remember doing  it...
    millymollymandy1 millymollymandy1
    1 Response Jun 3, 2010

    I Am Not Alone

    I don't know if you could consider me as a "survivor" because I haven't really gotten into some formal psychological therapy like the books say i should do. I consider myself just one because now, after 30+ years or so, I could finally openly talk about it. First, i...
    maddix maddix
    36-40, F
    7 Responses Dec 20, 2007

    I Am An ****** Survivor

    I am an ****** survivor and I will tell you this has been a very long journey with many twists and turns.  I wanted to share my story to possibly help another person who is struggling to come to grips and triumph over the hurt of abuse. I am just an ordinary person, but I...
    dwolf1 dwolf1
    46-50, F
    Jul 21, 2010

    NOT a Survivor OVERCOMER!!!!!!!!

    I'm not a survivor, I'm an "OVERCOMER"   and so is anyone brave enough to tell the truth about sexual abuse.....................................................   ClassyClaws
    classyclaws classyclaws
    46-50, F
    2 Responses May 16, 2009

    Im Learnin To Live

    my story is like yours, but with subtle differences. my dad started to look at me in another way, a girlfriend kinda way. i was only 5 or 6. it went on till my mom walked in with him on top of me. later my mom gave me back to him in turn it started again. nothin physical, just...
    coffi coffi
    31-35, T
    1 Response Apr 18, 2010

    A Sexual Abuse Poem- Very Personal

    Once Again It Played In My HeadThat Nasty Game Played Upon The Bed,A Horror Movie, I Didn't Want To SeeShouting Out "Your Hurting Me"Drugs The Drink It My My Head SpinCrushed Beneath Your Twisted SkinI Was Helpless, Simply Stuck ThereYou Were My Friend But You Didn't Care,The...
    DarkenedAngel DarkenedAngel
    22-25, F
    1 Response Oct 11, 2011

    My Grandfather...

    I sit here and write this story with mixed emotions. I have came to this forum time and time again wanting to write out what I feel and what has happened to me. For so long now I haven't had the courage to admitt it to others. However my cirrcumstances changed
    shknandstird shknandstird
    26-30, F
    1 Response Feb 4, 2008

    ******/Abuse Survivor-it Is What It Is.

        Yup, it pretty much is what it is. I was sexually abused by my father from as far back as I can remember. My mother shot herself in front of me when I was 14 months old. I was in foster care from age 12-18. I struggle, of course, with the many unpleasant side...
    joynikole joynikole
    31-35, F
    2 Responses Oct 6, 2009

    I Am A Sexual Abuse Survivor. There I Fianlly Said It.

    I am 28 years old and I have been sexually aboused up until I was about 15. I can remeber every single time it happend. I am unsure how old I was when it started but it had to be around the age 4 because my little sister was not yet born. It started out with touching at first. I...
    Angela305 Angela305
    26-30, F
    7 Responses Jul 4, 2010

    Institution Rape

    i was forced to be female by a group of male inmates in an institution I did know how to fight, and gave in, out of fear, the first night in a cell, I was ****** in the *** by 3 male inmates, the pain was unbearable, worse than anything I ve ever experienced, I learned to...
    topock topock
    46-50, M
    Jun 18, 2013

    Want To Share My Poems

     I was sexually abused by a woman @ a young age. A neighbor. Came out of that needing surgery to repair some minor damage. An uncle after that. Had lots of self hatred. A year or so as a cutter...anyways. I wrote this poem after talking to a young man with similar...
    cellogal cellogal
    26-30, F
    3 Responses Jan 2, 2010

    Dad molested me from the age of 7 till he left

    when I was 13, I was too scared to tell anyone, till he was gone. It still messes with my head from time to time.
    NYSlilAngel NYSlilAngel
    26-30, F
    1 Response Mar 17, 2014

    Victim No Longer

    ***** WARNING:  POTENTIALLY TRIGGERING ENTRY!  *******     I was seven when my family moved to a new state for Dad's work.  I hated and feared one of his bosses on sight, but was told to "be nice to Mr. M and stop being so childish." So I...
    Geode Geode
    31-35, F
    5 Responses Aug 15, 2009

    This Needs to Come Out

    This is the first time ive done this and i am scared but i want to get it out and i am going to do it now, this is hard for me.  When i was a kid things started happening to me. You see i have a mechanism of putting things right out of my mind i can almost forget them but...
    thehippy thehippy
    41-45, F
    9 Responses Apr 15, 2009

    No More Pain

    I was sexually abused by my stepfather from the age of 5-15 and then molested by his brother, and two men that were the age of 30-40 when I was 14. It has taken me a long time to get through this yet I am no longer a victim I am a survivor
    Schilazy40 Schilazy40
    36-40, F
    7 Responses Apr 9, 2009

    As I Promised In My Ouija Board Story....

    Ok. The first incident was the summer I was 5. We went to a fishing ware with my great uncles brother. He ran the ware and would let us kids sit up in front and guide the horse. We had to use a horse drawn wagon to get out on to the beach. :) Anyway, that was the year I found out...
    deleted deleted
    4 Responses Feb 14, 2009

    My Parent's Friend's Daughter

    The daughter of my parent's friends sexually abused me for awhile growing up. She was at the age where she knew what she was doing and would force me to do all these things and tell me I would be in trouble if I didn't do them. Weirdly enough I don't hate women cos I'm bi now but...
    nodopenohope nodopenohope
    18-21, F
    Jun 11, 2012

    Molested By My Older Cousin

    I didn't realize it and I had no idea what was going on (I was very young).  The first time, he took to me an empty room (everyone else was in the dining room) and showed me his crotch.  He then had me pull down my pants and show him mine. The 2nd time, we were tickle...
    NikilovesMarcel NikilovesMarcel
    5 Responses Feb 4, 2008

    My Situation

    When I was 11, my father molested me. I didn't know it was him at first because he lived with one of his coworkers. His coworker had a bunch of friends over at the house and they were all drinking. I almost felt in my heart, my gut reaction, was daddy why did u do this. I...
    Aminik Aminik
    31-35, F
    9 Responses Sep 17, 2007

    I Am To.

    I am a survivor as well.  my three brothers.  I have this story all ready posted in another group.  It was hard to write it, I dont want to write it again. can you go and read it there so i wont have to rewrite it? thanks.  Pamela
    SouthernGirl08 SouthernGirl08
    41-45, F
    4 Responses Oct 31, 2007

    A Position of Authority..

    Compared to some of the stories I've read here, this is mild, but it had a huge effect on my life and my views about sexuality & relationships.  The abuser was in a position of authority, and was a person I had looked up to and respected. I was a vulnerable and...
    krisis krisis
    41-45, F
    3 Responses May 16, 2009

    Need Help-quewstion

    I really need to talk to someone about this. I grew up being abused by my father. It seems I gravitate towards reading some pretty messed up stuff about ****** and abuse. Even on this stupid site, I found all the wrong, messed up groups and read them. Then, I'm disgusted with...
    joynikole joynikole
    31-35, F
    8 Responses Oct 6, 2009

    I Am Not Sure... But Maybe

    I guess this is sexual abuse... but idk...   So i my friend awhile ago, like when i was in first grade... one day i went over to his house and he said he wanted to play doctor... so he made me take me pants and underwear off and he took a pencil with those big erasers...
    hrhughes hrhughes
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Nov 22, 2009

    I Have Flash Backs, Very Repetitive But Not Clear...

    I think I want to remember and then the pain is too great....and I want to say it didnt happen...the hand on my throat, the pain in my vagina, the sense of my heart breaking in shock and terror as I am raped by someone I love, the child in me who adores her heart...
    adjuva adjuva
    Jul 16, 2010

    Our Little Secret

    My mother used to date this guy for 5 or so years.. His son was my age, we got along really well in the day, almost as if best friends.. always getting into some kind of trouble together... But, after the parents went to bed, and the lights went out... I would lay on the floor in...
    MiremebeKamaria MiremebeKamaria
    18-21, F
    1 Response Nov 22, 2010

    Hell Hath On Fury

    I was abused by five stepbrothers and my stepfather. It started with my stepfather at the age of six. The brothers when I was twelve. The most brutal of the abusers was one of my stepbrothers. He would come up behind me when I was in my room, bend me over backwards and...
    angelonmyshoulder angelonmyshoulder
    5 Responses Oct 24, 2009

    I Seen Myself As The Devils Spawn

    I used to call myself the devils spawn cuz I seen myself as devils vechile for abuse.  I figured I must have done something so terrible as a child or in another life.  I felt like I deserved whatever my family in-laws did to me.  I just don't want to be touched...
    czaristacrystals czaristacrystals
    36-40, F
    1 Response Apr 17, 2010

    Pissed And Out Of Control

    On February 13, 2010 I was sexually assaulted and abused by some one i had known for about 4 years. He was my boyfriend's best friend of about 16 years. I can't stop thinking about it i cant stop crying about it i cant stop being mad about it. i dont know what to do i feel like...
    deseriee deseriee
    26-30, F
    3 Responses Jun 5, 2010

    Living In Shame Alone

    the pain never really goes away. I feel so hurt by my childhood and the sex abuse. for too long I blamed myself. but today I realize I was the victim of others abuse. and yes, corny it maybe but I am a surviver...well, trying to be. I need to have my story heard and...
    czaristacrystals czaristacrystals
    36-40, F
    Jul 18, 2010

    Since 4 Or 5

    I was sexually abused since the age of 4 or 5 and maybe even before that. I remember being in a bath tub and my mum saying "where did she get this from" and my vagina was sore with congealed blood I was little and crying about 4 or 5 maybe. I was sexually assaulted at my...
    czaristacrystals czaristacrystals
    36-40, F
    Jul 18, 2010

    Lived Shame

    I was abused as young as 4years of age by many family in-laws and the earliest memory I have is being in a bath with congealed blood in my virgina and my mum saying to my dad "where did she get that from?" I remember feeling overwhelming fear, and crying not being able to tell...
    czaristacrystals czaristacrystals
    36-40, F
    Jul 20, 2010

    It Took a Lot of Guts!

    Last night my father called my in-laws house. I have never given him my number but have called him from there once before becasue I forgot to block the #. Well he is taking my mom to court to get the arrears lowered for support. He is in arrears because he was in jail! Which...
    Aminik Aminik
    31-35, F
    1 Response Dec 4, 2007

    It's Time to

    break the silence.  Please just read my blog because I will be posting frequently and it takes a lot out of me to repeat it. 
    InsaneInTheMembrane InsaneInTheMembrane
    36-40, F
    Feb 18, 2008
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