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I Am a Smart-ass

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 711 People

    Hi, I'm Sweetbriar.

    Would you like to do something about it? No, but really, I am a smartass. In high school, I had this really horrible English teacher who always gave me bad grades on my essays because she was intimidated by me. I would read Rushdie or Chabon for papers and since it was out of...
    SweetbriarPoet SweetbriarPoet 26-30, F 1 Response Aug 11, 2008

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    Dont say something that can easily be *******

    on by me. ^.^ "Weed doesnt kill your brain cells" "Yes it does. The long term effects. Look it up boo boo!"
    LifeBeingCereal LifeBeingCereal 18-21, F Sep 6, 2014

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    In order to be labeled a smart ***,

    first you have to be smart.... Other wise you're just an ***....
    socalsissi socalsissi 36-40, T 1 Response Mar 25, 2014

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    Suck My ***!! Lol, I love to say that.

    ... Your mom!! Is a remark I reply to stupid questions, stupid remarks, or just about anything that comes out of a mouth of someone I hate..... That's what she said!! Is wht I say alot, b/c I have a dirty mind #swag lol
    lonerbuddy lonerbuddy 13-15, F 1 Response Sep 14, 2014

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    How do I make this stop.

    It's the worst at times. I don't even realize I'm doing it.
    Untrustworthy117 Untrustworthy117 16-17, M 1 Response Sep 17, 2014

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    What Did You Just Say?!!

    Some people take it the wrong way. Usually it's when I try to text and be a smart *** at the same time. It rarely works.
    cherrygrrl cherrygrrl 26-30, F 2 Responses Jul 29, 2009

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    SurpriseMeToday SurpriseMeToday 18-21, F Nov 13, 2014

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    Thanks Dad

    Both of my parents are very sarcastic...but my dad is the worst..and when i was a kid i would get in trouble if i said a smart as* comment..but i just blamed it on my genes!
    bOObsMaGee bOObsMaGee 22-25, F Sep 10, 2008

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    Give me the chance and I promise I will take

    the chance. I understand people hate it but guess want, sarcasm is where the tarm smart *** started so doesn't that make everyone a smart ***? The answer is no. Why? Smart *** comments are sarcasm but sarcasm isn't being a smart ***. Thank you and have a good time.
    fallenzero fallenzero 22-25, M Jun 14, 2014

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    100% smart *** over here,

    and I don't even care ^_^
    LostandFading LostandFading 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 26, 2014

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    Oh man, my mouth usually gets me in trouble.

    I'm honest, brutally honest. This is my latest thought. I love this page but I also hate it. Seriously there are a lot of creeps on here. Oh and sad people. I seriously hate for people to play the victim. Like yea I get sad and let out my frustration but damn this page is beyond...
    brineff91 brineff91 22-25, F 4 Responses Jan 25, 2014

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    Truly sarcastic my mouth is going to end

    anything good I have going. I curse whoever invented texting cause I'm the worst smart *** when I text.
    Lauren122288 Lauren122288 26-30, F Sep 6, 2014

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    And it is often not appropriate

    and is out right out right wrong some times. Like just recently I saw a poorly written missing poster that clearly no one had proof read before publishing it. as the date in the Text of flyer had 2104 as date in stead of 2014. the first thought that crossed my mind was how can...
    Cargan2016 Cargan2016 31-35, M 1 Response Jan 5

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    ......

    Yes my a$$ is very smart it got it's PHD in one week and beacame a prefessor at two weeks. You should see all the adwards it has gotten.
    lynnz10 lynnz10 16-17 Aug 19, 2008

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    I know it's not very nice

    but sometimes I just can't resist it. I recently responded to a post on EP in a group of which, I am not, nor ever will I be, a member. Grammar in the post rendered nearly every sentence incomprehensible which, I found clearly in contrast to the point being made by the poster...
    johnstlouis johnstlouis 56-60, M 1 Response Oct 26, 2014

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    A Thinking Woman's Technique

    I love being a smart-***. It makes me feel, well, smart, strong and sexy. It's my brand of sexuality, very Algonquin Round Table.  They were actually quite vicious-- gossipy-- but innovative and sexy and thoroughly modern (like Millie!), nonetheless. I love engaging in...
    mmmcookies mmmcookies 26-30 Sep 11, 2008

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    It is true, although I will never admit it in

    front of my friends or family. I know a lot of useless facts, and quite a few big words that I use in sentences (and some of the time I use them in the wrong context coz I have no idea what I'm doing) and when I think I'm right, completely right, G-d Himself could never persuade...
    iiCHARLIii iiCHARLIii 13-15, F 1 Response Oct 14, 2014

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    I Can Be When It Is Needed,...

    I can be when it is needed,to someone who is trying to act like a smart****.
    deleted deleted 26-30 Aug 11, 2008

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    Only With Certain People

    That I know can take it...Mahahaha! One person in particular because they're a BIGGER SMART A*S then I am. lol.... I'm learning from them. lol
    deleted deleted 26-30 Mar 29, 2009

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    One time I told a girl I work with what my

    favorite perfume was, and then she went out and bought it and I didn't notice until she yelled at me a month later about it.
    jamccloud jamccloud 18-21, M Jun 11, 2014

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    I am little to FAST for myself.

    I really don't THINK before i doing or say things. That make a lot of problems in my life. Perhaps i am "that" kind of girl. Can it be like that? I try, i try so much to act more slowly and give me more times to think. But i mostly fail. I wish i could buy a pills (at...
    Linn18 Linn18 18-21, F Sep 4, 2014

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    I am not the cleverest of people. I use my body to get what I want instead of my brain lol. but smart guys turn me on. I don't always understand big words or smart *** sentences...
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    I want him terribly but I have no idea how to handle my emotions. Should I even act on them at all?? We've worked together for a little less than year. He's become my best friend...
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    I'm often called a smart ***, so I remind people that it's better than being a dumb ***.
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    Sometimes it's so ridiculous how people got stuck to the clichés. I always tried to fit in just to find out I actually don't want to "fit in" at all. I just wanna be who I am and...
    mishale80 mishale80 31-35, F 1 Response Feb 13

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    thunderdanmajerle 33 mins ago Smart ***! Lol how are you doing Me 19 mins ago They always say it is better than being a dumbass=P Not to bad. Just thinking I should get off EP...
    DirtyMeStoryTime DirtyMeStoryTime 22-25, F 3 Responses Feb 5

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    This group is for smart *** people, if you're going to be logical, why are you here? I was trying to think of a time I didn't shower naked and couldn't think of a single time, but...
    shimmeringrose shimmeringrose 31-35, F 4 Responses Feb 9

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    We said goodbye and buried my aunt just the other day. She died the same way my mom did when I was 12. Cancer... She was so spunky and opinionated. It was so awful watching her...
    SomniumProeliator SomniumProeliator 22-25, F 2 Responses Feb 11

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    You know what’s really, powerfully sexy? A sense of humor. A taste for adventure. Eyes that can look into your soul. Openness. Confidence. Humility. Appetite. Wisdom … Smart...
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    I wish I knew how to let go and move on. I love him even through the lies and his unfaithfulness and disrespect. I wish I valued myself enough to see what I really deserve. I'm so...
    beemer78 beemer78 36-40, F 3 Responses Feb 19

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    Id rather be a smart *** than a dumb one. :)
    prettyprude prettyprude 31-35, F 2 Responses 5 days ago

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    I travel for work to Luxembourg constantly, I'm actually writing this in an airport. My best tip is to eliminate checked baggage. This won't help if you're going on vacation, but I...
    balmoralintgroup balmoralintgroup 26-30, F Feb 11

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    A colleague proposed me this hack, I utilised it and it modified my activity practical experience a great deal, so many interesting things you can perform If you have diamonds, luv...
    Ethan3088hnz9 Ethan3088hnz9 31-35, M 1 Response Feb 17

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    Time for me to rant in 3...2...1...GO! Really? Is it so fǔcking hard for you idiots to understand that I do not like sěx (please excuse the huge number of alternate letters in...
    BlueMetalChick BlueMetalChick 18-21, F 24 Responses Feb 23

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    One day, we had an English assessment in school and hurt to prepare for it at home. I'm actually pretty smart and work hard at school. But i copied my assessment from the internet...
    Fluffcloud Fluffcloud 13-15, F 1 Response 5 days ago

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