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I Am a Smart-ass

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 970 People

    When life gets crazy

    and my plate is heaping full, I must turn off my brain. No serious talk, no deep intellectual conversations. Randomness and giggles, jokes and nonsense. My smart-*** keeps me rollin!!!
    HotMessExpress101 HotMessExpress101 31-35, F 6 Responses Apr 16

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    Dont say something that can easily be *******

    on by me. ^.^ "Weed doesnt kill your brain cells" "Yes it does. The long term effects. Look it up boo boo!"
    LifeBeingCereal LifeBeingCereal 22-25, F Sep 6, 2014

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    In order to be labeled a smart ***,

    first you have to be smart.... Other wise you're just an ***....
    socalsissi socalsissi 36-40, T 1 Response Mar 25, 2014

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    I Can Be When It Is Needed,...

    I can be when it is needed,to someone who is trying to act like a smart****.
    deleted deleted 26-30 Aug 11, 2008

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    Truly sarcastic my mouth is going to end

    anything good I have going. I curse whoever invented texting cause I'm the worst smart *** when I text.
    Lauren122288 Lauren122288 26-30, F Sep 6, 2014

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    It is true, although I will never admit it in

    front of my friends or family. I know a lot of useless facts, and quite a few big words that I use in sentences (and some of the time I use them in the wrong context coz I have no idea what I'm doing) and when I think I'm right, completely right, G-d Himself could never persuade...
    iiCHARLIii iiCHARLIii 13-15, F 1 Response Oct 14, 2014

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    I know it's not very nice

    but sometimes I just can't resist it. I recently responded to a post on EP in a group of which, I am not, nor ever will I be, a member. Grammar in the post rendered nearly every sentence incomprehensible which, I found clearly in contrast to the point being made by the poster...
    johnstlouis johnstlouis 56-60, M 1 Response Oct 26, 2014

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    A Thinking Woman's Technique

    I love being a smart-***. It makes me feel, well, smart, strong and sexy. It's my brand of sexuality, very Algonquin Round Table.  They were actually quite vicious-- gossipy-- but innovative and sexy and thoroughly modern (like Millie!), nonetheless. I love engaging in...
    mmmcookies mmmcookies 26-30 Sep 11, 2008

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    Only With Certain People

    That I know can take it...Mahahaha! One person in particular because they're a BIGGER SMART A*S then I am. lol.... I'm learning from them. lol
    deleted deleted 26-30 Mar 29, 2009

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    I am little to FAST for myself.

    I really don't THINK before i doing or say things. That make a lot of problems in my life. Perhaps i am "that" kind of girl. Can it be like that? I try, i try so much to act more slowly and give me more times to think. But i mostly fail. I wish i could buy a pills (at...
    Linn18 Linn18 18-21, F Sep 4, 2014

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    I'm the most smart-*** person

    that you will ever know.
    Dracula14 Dracula14 13-15, M 2 Responses Jun 29

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    SurpriseMeToday SurpriseMeToday 18-21, F Nov 13, 2014

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    I love telling atheists

    that God loves them
    akaShaun akaShaun 16-17, M 28 Responses May 20

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    An old cowboy goes into a convenience store.

    Grabs himself 20 c0nd0ms, and proceeds to the cashier. The kind woman rings up his safety gear and asks him if he would like a bag. The cowboy says "no ma'am, I don't need a bag tonight, she's not that ugly" Hehehe!!!
    HotMessExpress101 HotMessExpress101 31-35, F 2 Responses 11 hrs ago

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    ......

    Yes my a$$ is very smart it got it's PHD in one week and beacame a prefessor at two weeks. You should see all the adwards it has gotten.
    lynnz10 lynnz10 16-17 Aug 19, 2008

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    And the c*ck crows by my back door.

    .. It's 5 o'clock in the afternoon I'm awake, A$$hole!!!!
    HotMessExpress101 HotMessExpress101 31-35, F 15 Responses Jun 11

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    Hi, I'm Sweetbriar.

    Would you like to do something about it? No, but really, I am a smartass. In high school, I had this really horrible English teacher who always gave me bad grades on my essays because she was intimidated by me. I would read Rushdie or Chabon for papers and since it was out of...
    SweetbriarPoet SweetbriarPoet 26-30, F 1 Response Aug 11, 2008

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    How do I make this stop.

    It's the worst at times. I don't even realize I'm doing it.
    Untrustworthy117 Untrustworthy117 18-21, M 1 Response Sep 17, 2014

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    Suck My ***!! Lol, I love to say that.

    ... Your mom!! Is a remark I reply to stupid questions, stupid remarks, or just about anything that comes out of a mouth of someone I hate..... That's what she said!! Is wht I say alot, b/c I have a dirty mind #swag lol
    lonerbuddy lonerbuddy 13-15, F 1 Response Sep 14, 2014

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    I had a friend over,

    and she asks me " I'm hungry, what do you have to eat?" I reply, with a straight face. "gum"
    RevWrathlibe RevWrathlibe 46-50, M 2 Responses Mar 19

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    I really am, I can be serious

    when its needed but for the most part I'm kind of a jokester I think its a defense mechanism (sometimes) most of the time if I joke or be a smart *** its cause its just who I am lol I like me if you don't then don't talk me problem solved :)
    Jwolf1342 Jwolf1342 18-21, M May 5

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    And it is often not appropriate

    and is out right out right wrong some times. Like just recently I saw a poorly written missing poster that clearly no one had proof read before publishing it. as the date in the Text of flyer had 2104 as date in stead of 2014. the first thought that crossed my mind was how can...
    Cargan2016 Cargan2016 31-35, M 1 Response Jan 5

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    What did the pencil say to the pen?

    Nothing, inanimate objects don't talk...
    chasetheweirdo8 chasetheweirdo8 13-15, M Mar 11

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    What Did You Just Say?!!

    Some people take it the wrong way. Usually it's when I try to text and be a smart *** at the same time. It rarely works.
    cherrygrrl cherrygrrl 26-30, F 2 Responses Jul 29, 2009

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    HotMessExpress101 HotMessExpress101 31-35, F 3 Responses Jun 2

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    I just have to share this.

    I recently exchanged some messages with a guy on here about music. He spent forever going on about something about how "older" music...like before the seventies didn't have sexual innuendo. Like it's something recent in music. And like some important breakthrough. *rolls eyes...
    Sarahbellas Sarahbellas 26-30, F 6 Responses Jul 6

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    One time I told a girl I work with what my

    favorite perfume was, and then she went out and bought it and I didn't notice until she yelled at me a month later about it.
    jamccloud jamccloud 18-21, M Jun 11, 2014

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    Thanks Dad

    Both of my parents are very sarcastic...but my dad is the worst..and when i was a kid i would get in trouble if i said a smart as* comment..but i just blamed it on my genes!
    bOObsMaGee bOObsMaGee 22-25, F Sep 10, 2008

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    I can't help it really.

    It just rolls out of my mouth and echoes through the air and right into your mind. And you stop🙀"Hammer time" ohhhh oh oh ohhh
    deleted deleted 26-30 Apr 16

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    Give me the chance and I promise I will take

    the chance. I understand people hate it but guess want, sarcasm is where the tarm smart *** started so doesn't that make everyone a smart ***? The answer is no. Why? Smart *** comments are sarcasm but sarcasm isn't being a smart ***. Thank you and have a good time.
    fallenzero fallenzero 22-25, M Jun 14, 2014

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    Oh man, my mouth usually gets me in trouble.

    I'm honest, brutally honest. This is my latest thought. I love this page but I also hate it. Seriously there are a lot of creeps on here. Oh and sad people. I seriously hate for people to play the victim. Like yea I get sad and let out my frustration but damn this page is beyond...
    brineff91 brineff91 22-25, F 3 Responses Jan 25, 2014

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    I've just about given up on success. It's about what you look like or whose *** you can kiss. I'm not built for that yet I'm too smart to be unaware of the fact that I will...
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    I have close and best friends that I like to hang out with most of the time, and a family whom I make as an inspiration in life. But if you are going to ask me if I’m 100% of...
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    I'm a lying manipulative ***-hat and if you're smart you'll avoid me, because despite being trustworthy, I never forget and that isn't good for you.
    TheAmazinglyAwkwardSpiderJoe1 TheAmazinglyAwkwardSpiderJoe1 18-21, M 1 Response 2 days ago

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    I once decided to get drunk one morning with my best friend before going to school. Luckily for me she had stolen a bottle of vodka the day before from her father, we met up before...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 days ago

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    I hate my life. I fail at everything. Im ugly unhealthy malnourished looking 21 year old. Im stupid at making decisions and academically I hate the sex Im assigned to Im alone 98...
    jacktheripperlover jacktheripperlover 18-21, F 4 days ago

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    I am burnt out. Today I just felt so depressed because I felt I need you! I knew since yesterday that my reason to be sad is the fact that I know .. it would be easier and...
    StrongWoman9 StrongWoman9 26-30, F 4 days ago

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    You are belligerent. You are arrogant. You masquerade yourself as a misunderstood intellectual, but really you're a self-centered ***** who only cares about himself and then...
    CigaretteEater CigaretteEater 18-21 5 days ago

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    My name is Vicky. I have cerebral palsy. I went to a boarding school near Brighton. I was a pretty girl then. I had long blond hair. I am slim as well as being quite small. I...
    vickybiggs vickybiggs 18-21 6 days ago

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    **Here are my types: ( MBTI Type : INFP || Socio-Type: IEI || Enneagram Type: 4 (both wings.)** I’m totally obsessed with this new Myers-Briggs personality test thing and so I...
    jboddika jboddika 22-25, F 6 days ago

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    id rather be a smart *** than a dumb ***
    Multicolour12 Multicolour12 22-25, F 4 Responses Jul 19

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    I don't know why but I had to share this on here. I wrote this essay quite a few years ago but I just read it and felt like it was something I should post here. *** Some of the...
    justluvme4evr justluvme4evr 22-25, F Jul 19

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    First of all I'm a lesbian and guys pls stop hitting on me. Its appreciated that you respond, just dont make me rate how big your ego is, its subjective I will always answer tiny...
    pinkroom0 pinkroom0 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 19