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I Am a Smart-ass

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 929 People

    Truly sarcastic my mouth is going to end

    anything good I have going. I curse whoever invented texting cause I'm the worst smart *** when I text.
    Lauren122288 Lauren122288 26-30, F Sep 6, 2014

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    It is true, although I will never admit it in

    front of my friends or family. I know a lot of useless facts, and quite a few big words that I use in sentences (and some of the time I use them in the wrong context coz I have no idea what I'm doing) and when I think I'm right, completely right, G-d Himself could never persuade...
    iiCHARLIii iiCHARLIii 13-15, F 1 Response Oct 14, 2014

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    Oh man, my mouth usually gets me in trouble.

    I'm honest, brutally honest. This is my latest thought. I love this page but I also hate it. Seriously there are a lot of creeps on here. Oh and sad people. I seriously hate for people to play the victim. Like yea I get sad and let out my frustration but damn this page is beyond...
    brineff91 brineff91 22-25, F 3 Responses Jan 25, 2014

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    I can't help it really.

    It just rolls out of my mouth and echoes through the air and right into your mind. And you stop🙀"Hammer time" ohhhh oh oh ohhh
    deleted deleted 26-30 Apr 16

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    I love telling atheists

    that God loves them
    akaShaun akaShaun 16-17, M 29 Responses May 20

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    Thanks Dad

    Both of my parents are very sarcastic...but my dad is the worst..and when i was a kid i would get in trouble if i said a smart as* comment..but i just blamed it on my genes!
    bOObsMaGee bOObsMaGee 22-25, F Sep 10, 2008

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    When life gets crazy

    and my plate is heaping full, I must turn off my brain. No serious talk, no deep intellectual conversations. Randomness and giggles, jokes and nonsense. My smart-*** keeps me rollin!!!
    HotMessExpress101 HotMessExpress101 31-35, F 6 Responses Apr 16

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    I know it's not very nice

    but sometimes I just can't resist it. I recently responded to a post on EP in a group of which, I am not, nor ever will I be, a member. Grammar in the post rendered nearly every sentence incomprehensible which, I found clearly in contrast to the point being made by the poster...
    johnstlouis johnstlouis 56-60, M 1 Response Oct 26, 2014

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    What Did You Just Say?!!

    Some people take it the wrong way. Usually it's when I try to text and be a smart *** at the same time. It rarely works.
    cherrygrrl cherrygrrl 26-30, F 2 Responses Jul 29, 2009

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    Suck My ***!! Lol, I love to say that.

    ... Your mom!! Is a remark I reply to stupid questions, stupid remarks, or just about anything that comes out of a mouth of someone I hate..... That's what she said!! Is wht I say alot, b/c I have a dirty mind #swag lol
    lonerbuddy lonerbuddy 13-15, F 1 Response Sep 14, 2014

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    In order to be labeled a smart ***,

    first you have to be smart.... Other wise you're just an ***....
    socalsissi socalsissi 36-40, T 1 Response Mar 25, 2014

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    Dont say something that can easily be *******

    on by me. ^.^ "Weed doesnt kill your brain cells" "Yes it does. The long term effects. Look it up boo boo!"
    LifeBeingCereal LifeBeingCereal 22-25, F Sep 6, 2014

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    A Thinking Woman's Technique

    I love being a smart-***. It makes me feel, well, smart, strong and sexy. It's my brand of sexuality, very Algonquin Round Table.  They were actually quite vicious-- gossipy-- but innovative and sexy and thoroughly modern (like Millie!), nonetheless. I love engaging in...
    mmmcookies mmmcookies 26-30 Sep 11, 2008

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    What did the pencil say to the pen?

    Nothing, inanimate objects don't talk...
    chasetheweirdo8 chasetheweirdo8 13-15, M Mar 11

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    I Can Be When It Is Needed,...

    I can be when it is needed,to someone who is trying to act like a smart****.
    deleted deleted 26-30 Aug 11, 2008

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    EyeDontGiveAHoot EyeDontGiveAHoot 36-40, F 3 Responses Apr 12

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    How do I make this stop.

    It's the worst at times. I don't even realize I'm doing it.
    Untrustworthy117 Untrustworthy117 18-21, M 1 Response Sep 17, 2014

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    ......

    Yes my a$$ is very smart it got it's PHD in one week and beacame a prefessor at two weeks. You should see all the adwards it has gotten.
    lynnz10 lynnz10 16-17 Aug 19, 2008

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    I'm the most smart-*** person

    that you will ever know.
    Dracula14 Dracula14 13-15, M 2 Responses 6 days ago

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    HotMessExpress101 HotMessExpress101 31-35, F 3 Responses Jun 2

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    I really am, I can be serious

    when its needed but for the most part I'm kind of a jokester I think its a defense mechanism (sometimes) most of the time if I joke or be a smart *** its cause its just who I am lol I like me if you don't then don't talk me problem solved :)
    Jwolf1342 Jwolf1342 18-21, M May 5

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    Give me the chance and I promise I will take

    the chance. I understand people hate it but guess want, sarcasm is where the tarm smart *** started so doesn't that make everyone a smart ***? The answer is no. Why? Smart *** comments are sarcasm but sarcasm isn't being a smart ***. Thank you and have a good time.
    fallenzero fallenzero 22-25, M Jun 14, 2014

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    I had a friend over,

    and she asks me " I'm hungry, what do you have to eat?" I reply, with a straight face. "gum"
    RevWrathlibe RevWrathlibe 46-50, M 2 Responses Mar 19

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    One time I told a girl I work with what my

    favorite perfume was, and then she went out and bought it and I didn't notice until she yelled at me a month later about it.
    jamccloud jamccloud 18-21, M Jun 11, 2014

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    SurpriseMeToday SurpriseMeToday 18-21, F Nov 13, 2014

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    Hi, I'm Sweetbriar.

    Would you like to do something about it? No, but really, I am a smartass. In high school, I had this really horrible English teacher who always gave me bad grades on my essays because she was intimidated by me. I would read Rushdie or Chabon for papers and since it was out of...
    SweetbriarPoet SweetbriarPoet 26-30, F 1 Response Aug 11, 2008

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    And the c*ck crows by my back door.

    .. It's 5 o'clock in the afternoon I'm awake, A$$hole!!!!
    HotMessExpress101 HotMessExpress101 31-35, F 15 Responses Jun 11

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    Only With Certain People

    That I know can take it...Mahahaha! One person in particular because they're a BIGGER SMART A*S then I am. lol.... I'm learning from them. lol
    deleted deleted 26-30 Mar 29, 2009

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    And it is often not appropriate

    and is out right out right wrong some times. Like just recently I saw a poorly written missing poster that clearly no one had proof read before publishing it. as the date in the Text of flyer had 2104 as date in stead of 2014. the first thought that crossed my mind was how can...
    Cargan2016 Cargan2016 31-35, M 1 Response Jan 5

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    I am little to FAST for myself.

    I really don't THINK before i doing or say things. That make a lot of problems in my life. Perhaps i am "that" kind of girl. Can it be like that? I try, i try so much to act more slowly and give me more times to think. But i mostly fail. I wish i could buy a pills (at...
    Linn18 Linn18 18-21, F Sep 4, 2014

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    I have a smart *** mouth , someone needs to fix that.
    lydiabbyy lydiabbyy 18-21, F 13 Responses 3 days ago

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    Every time I post something that I consider thoughtful and meaningful, I immediately get hit with a buncha smart-*** remarks from the peanut gallery. I recently had some fool...
    UFOsR4real UFOsR4real 41-45, M 1 Response 3 days ago

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    I want this feeling.. I don't know what it feels like.. I try so hard to get him to flirt with me..it's fine for awhile then he quits answering my questions or makes smart...
    RahRah73 RahRah73 41-45, F 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    My adorable little niece Rianna is six years old. My sister drops her off and I baby sit her every other weekend. This little girl is so fresh now. I actually used to smack her on...
    msjennycraig msjennycraig 31-35, F 3 days ago

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    But because I think I'm too much of a smart *** and a complete nerd that debates over aliens that's why I don't have a boyfriend because my dates always end up thinking I'm on...
    misssteele18 misssteele18 18-21, F 13 Responses 3 days ago

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    I guess I've never committed the whole story to one place, but maybe it wouldn't be so bad, to at least get the details out. Some of them, anyways, as I doubt I'll ever be done...
    CigaretteEater CigaretteEater 18-21, F 4 Responses 3 days ago

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    My excuse or maybe my reason was to work a second job to get extra money so I could move out of my parent's house. When I separated from my husband, I moved my daughter and I back...
    orewinelover orewinelover 26-30, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    In class. My teacher had the news on already because we were watching something for an assignment, and all of a sudden everything cut to the Towers. I was so young, and we were all...
    aerolith aerolith 22-25, F 2 Responses 5 days ago

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    I'm sure you all remember my story where I spoke about how religious people try to save me all the time because they think because I'm blind all I must do is sit around praying I...
    goatonicon goatonicon 36-40, M 6 days ago

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    With this I think half of the EP perverts can relate to! A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. 'Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being...
    liveitup1883 liveitup1883 41-45, F 3 Responses 6 days ago

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    I used to have really bad anger problems when I was in first grade. Like whenever someone would try to talk to me I would just be like "get out of my face I don't like you". I was...
    lifesacruelgame lifesacruelgame 16-17, F 2 Responses Jun 27

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    Richard is stupid. Because i can read him and the nuts and use their behaviour against them. He assumes he can do the same thing with my posts. Which are the main basis of his...
    UltimateDemiGoddessSam UltimateDemiGoddessSam 31-35, F Jun 27