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I Am a Smart-ass

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,169 People

    In order to be labeled a smart ***,

    first you have to be smart.... Other wise you're just an ***....
    socalsissi socalsissi 36-40, T 1 Response Mar 25, 2014

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    Truly sarcastic my mouth is going to end

    anything good I have going. I curse whoever invented texting cause I'm the worst smart *** when I text.
    Lauren122288 Lauren122288 26-30, F Sep 6, 2014

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    HotMessExpress101 HotMessExpress101 31-35, F 13 Responses Aug 3, 2015

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    Give me the chance and I promise I will take

    the chance. I understand people hate it but guess want, sarcasm is where the tarm smart *** started so doesn't that make everyone a smart ***? The answer is no. Why? Smart *** comments are sarcasm but sarcasm isn't being a smart ***. Thank you and have a good time.
    fallenzero fallenzero 22-25, M Jun 14, 2014

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    I really am, I can be serious

    when its needed but for the most part I'm kind of a jokester I think its a defense mechanism (sometimes) most of the time if I joke or be a smart *** its cause its just who I am lol I like me if you don't then don't talk me problem solved :)
    deleted deleted 26-30 May 5, 2015

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    Dont say something that can easily be *******

    on by me. ^.^ "Weed doesnt kill your brain cells" "Yes it does. The long term effects. Look it up boo boo!"
    LifeBeingCereal LifeBeingCereal 22-25, F Sep 6, 2014

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    HotMessExpress101 HotMessExpress101 31-35, F 3 Responses Jun 2, 2015

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    I love telling atheists

    that God loves them
    akaShaun akaShaun 18-21, M 29 Responses May 20, 2015

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    Oh man, my mouth usually gets me in trouble.

    I'm honest, brutally honest. This is my latest thought. I love this page but I also hate it. Seriously there are a lot of creeps on here. Oh and sad people. I seriously hate for people to play the victim. Like yea I get sad and let out my frustration but damn this page is beyond...
    brineff91 brineff91 22-25, F 3 Responses Jan 25, 2014

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    Hi, I'm Sweetbriar.

    Would you like to do something about it? No, but really, I am a smartass. In high school, I had this really horrible English teacher who always gave me bad grades on my essays because she was intimidated by me. I would read Rushdie or Chabon for papers and since it was out of...
    SweetbriarPoet SweetbriarPoet 26-30, F 1 Response Aug 11, 2008

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    I am little to FAST for myself.

    I really don't THINK before i doing or say things. That make a lot of problems in my life. Perhaps i am "that" kind of girl. Can it be like that? I try, i try so much to act more slowly and give me more times to think. But i mostly fail. I wish i could buy a pills (at...
    Linn18 Linn18 18-21, F Sep 4, 2014

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    Apparently beer contains woman's hormones.

    ... After your man drinks too much, he can't drive or shut the fvck up!
    HotMessExpress101 HotMessExpress101 31-35, F 4 Responses Jul 28, 2015

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    Only With Certain People

    That I know can take it...Mahahaha! One person in particular because they're a BIGGER SMART A*S then I am. lol.... I'm learning from them. lol
    deleted deleted 26-30 Mar 29, 2009

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    What Did You Just Say?!!

    Some people take it the wrong way. Usually it's when I try to text and be a smart *** at the same time. It rarely works.
    cherrygrrl cherrygrrl 26-30, F 2 Responses Jul 29, 2009

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    I had a friend over,

    and she asks me " I'm hungry, what do you have to eat?" I reply, with a straight face. "gum"
    RevWrathlibe RevWrathlibe 46-50, M 2 Responses Mar 19, 2015

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    HornyGuyAJ HornyGuyAJ 22-25, M Jan 15

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    I Can Be When It Is Needed,...

    I can be when it is needed,to someone who is trying to act like a smart****.
    deleted deleted 26-30 Aug 11, 2008

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    And the c*ck crows by my back door.

    .. It's 5 o'clock in the afternoon I'm awake, A$$hole!!!!
    HotMessExpress101 HotMessExpress101 31-35, F 14 Responses Jun 11, 2015

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    What did the pencil say to the pen?

    Nothing, inanimate objects don't talk...
    chasetheweirdo8 chasetheweirdo8 13-15, M Mar 11, 2015

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    It is true, although I will never admit it in

    front of my friends or family. I know a lot of useless facts, and quite a few big words that I use in sentences (and some of the time I use them in the wrong context coz I have no idea what I'm doing) and when I think I'm right, completely right, G-d Himself could never persuade...
    iiCHARLIii iiCHARLIii 13-15, F 1 Response Oct 14, 2014

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    I'm the most smart-*** person

    that you will ever know.
    Dracula14 Dracula14 13-15, M 2 Responses Jun 29, 2015

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    Thanks Dad

    Both of my parents are very sarcastic...but my dad is the worst..and when i was a kid i would get in trouble if i said a smart as* comment..but i just blamed it on my genes!
    bOObsMaGee bOObsMaGee 22-25, F Sep 10, 2008

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    When life gets crazy

    and my plate is heaping full, I must turn off my brain. No serious talk, no deep intellectual conversations. Randomness and giggles, jokes and nonsense. My smart-*** keeps me rollin!!!
    HotMessExpress101 HotMessExpress101 31-35, F 6 Responses Apr 16, 2015

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    A part of me just doesn't like getting one-uped

    even in my dreams. So I had a dream that I was in a big conference hall room all getted up and decorated with tableclothed tables and everything for an important speaker. In my dream I was seated between Donald Trump and Hilary Clinton. I remember in my dream I checked my...
    Sarahbellas Sarahbellas 26-30, F 4 Responses Nov 28, 2015

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    Suck My ***!! Lol, I love to say that.

    ... Your mom!! Is a remark I reply to stupid questions, stupid remarks, or just about anything that comes out of a mouth of someone I hate..... That's what she said!! Is wht I say alot, b/c I have a dirty mind #swag lol
    lonerbuddy lonerbuddy 13-15, F 1 Response Sep 14, 2014

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    I know it's not very nice

    but sometimes I just can't resist it. I recently responded to a post on EP in a group of which, I am not, nor ever will I be, a member. Grammar in the post rendered nearly every sentence incomprehensible which, I found clearly in contrast to the point being made by the poster...
    johnstlouis johnstlouis 56-60, M 1 Response Oct 26, 2014

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    I just have to share this.

    I recently exchanged some messages with a guy on here about music. He spent forever going on about something about how "older" music...like before the seventies didn't have sexual innuendo. Like it's something recent in music. And like some important breakthrough. *rolls eyes...
    Sarahbellas Sarahbellas 26-30, F 6 Responses Jul 6, 2015

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    An old cowboy goes into a convenience store.

    Grabs himself 20 c0nd0ms, and proceeds to the cashier. The kind woman rings up his safety gear and asks him if he would like a bag. The cowboy says "no ma'am, I don't need a bag tonight, she's not that ugly" Hehehe!!!
    HotMessExpress101 HotMessExpress101 31-35, F 5 Responses Jul 27, 2015

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    One time I told a girl I work with what my

    favorite perfume was, and then she went out and bought it and I didn't notice until she yelled at me a month later about it.
    jamccloud jamccloud 18-21, M Jun 11, 2014

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    And it is often not appropriate

    and is out right out right wrong some times. Like just recently I saw a poorly written missing poster that clearly no one had proof read before publishing it. as the date in the Text of flyer had 2104 as date in stead of 2014. the first thought that crossed my mind was how can...
    Cargan2016 Cargan2016 31-35, M 1 Response Jan 5, 2015

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    SurpriseMeToday SurpriseMeToday 18-21, F Nov 13, 2014

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    ......

    Yes my a$$ is very smart it got it's PHD in one week and beacame a prefessor at two weeks. You should see all the adwards it has gotten.
    lynnz10 lynnz10 16-17 Aug 19, 2008

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    I can't help it really.

    It just rolls out of my mouth and echoes through the air and right into your mind. And you stop🙀"Hammer time" ohhhh oh oh ohhh
    deleted deleted 26-30 Apr 16, 2015

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    A Thinking Woman's Technique

    I love being a smart-***. It makes me feel, well, smart, strong and sexy. It's my brand of sexuality, very Algonquin Round Table.  They were actually quite vicious-- gossipy-- but innovative and sexy and thoroughly modern (like Millie!), nonetheless. I love engaging in...
    mmmcookies mmmcookies 26-30 Sep 11, 2008

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    Has anybody experience a crippling anxiety? First, I should tell you that I am asian and live in Southeast Asia. I live in a village to boot. Not in the city. Therefore, life in...
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    This is a post that I found on one of my Facebook gamer groups earlier today. I have no problem with men. This, I have a problem with. These guys are clearly idiots. Anyone else...
    FatalOrca FatalOrca 18-21, F 1 Response 2 days ago

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    it's official...I need to leave my house. my parents rely on me too much and my brother does nothing to help us. I have so many responsibilities with my school work. I'm a 4.0...
    marckengenie1 marckengenie1 18-21, F 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    After several days of not hearing from my girl. Mom. My health is not getting any better. I just can't keep anything down. And goes on to describe her symptoms. She also states...
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