I Am A Smartass, Full Of Smartassery

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 604 People

    Some Christians would argue homosexuality is

    wrong, i would argue jesus technically had 2 dads
    GlassCannon GlassCannon
    18-21, M
    2 Responses Jun 4, 2015
    savoy2 savoy2
    46-50, M
    Apr 6, 2016

    Smartasses make the world go round.

    If it weren't for smartasses, this world would be full of dumbasses!
    Mossonarock Mossonarock
    46-50, M
    1 Response Aug 11, 2015

    This pretty much is me to a T!

    !! And the funniest part about me finding this is someone had just finished telling me I was a smartass when I saw this experience group!!!!
    MyCrazyLife63 MyCrazyLife63
    41-45, F
    Apr 6, 2016

    and I have no friends

    because of that....
    sinseeker sinseeker
    31-35, M
    3 Responses Sep 25, 2015

    I appreciate you taking the time today to

    remind me why I don't like you.
    savoy2 savoy2
    46-50, M
    1 Response Dec 10, 2015

    All I can say...thank god

    for Miley Cyrus and Justin Beiber. Otherwise we wouldn't have ******* entertainment. God forbid if we as humans opened our minds up to things that actually mattered. You know, though, hey...we're simple minded idiots who breathe and drool over celebrity news.
    Imaginarionify Imaginarionify
    26-30, F
    1 Response Mar 9, 2014

    How many men does it take to mop a floor?

    None that's woman's work.
    savoy2 savoy2
    46-50, M
    1 Response Nov 29, 2015

    The word smartassery was created especially

    for me because being a standard run of the mill smartass just isn't enough.
    savoy2 savoy2
    46-50, M
    Nov 23, 2015

    Thank you God for the bountiful harvest of

    fools whom I shall make suffer with piercing insight and observations. Amen.
    savoy2 savoy2
    46-50, M
    1 Response Oct 28, 2015

    My English teacher was looking a little ill

    so I called him an ill literate.
    nostalkerswelcome nostalkerswelcome
    26-30
    Mar 15, 2016

    If life gives you lemons,

    why not kill someone with the lemons (maybe by shoving them down his throat).
    savoy2 savoy2
    46-50, M
    Mar 2, 2016

    "hapless victim" Can you help me out?

    A girl asked me how big my (e.p. would not allow the part of the body HE had...but it is something only males have...) is, now I am a little curious what women will think about it because I do not have much experience. Could you check me out and give me some honest feedback? Me...
    SweetKiester SweetKiester
    41-45, F
    4 Responses Jan 22, 2014

    My grandiose sense of self worth is the best,

    thank you. I should kill you for asking.
    savoy2 savoy2
    46-50, M
    Apr 6, 2016

    The difference between being a smart ***

    and a smart *** full of smartassery...I can prescibe drugs.
    savoy2 savoy2
    46-50, M
    Nov 7, 2015
    Killerinstict Killerinstict
    16-17, F
    1 Response Aug 8, 2014

    Does your *** every get jealous at the ****

    that comes out of your mouth?
    savoy2 savoy2
    46-50, M
    Dec 7, 2015

    boy bands.... what can i say?

    i thank god for them... otherwise we wouldn't be able to listen to these guys help us in our....smart-r-sery...
    SweetKiester SweetKiester
    41-45, F
    1 Response Jan 20, 2014
    savoy2 savoy2
    46-50, M
    Feb 29, 2016

    Yes, my arse was well edumacated at cheeky

    elementary school. He has a college degree in asstronomy. And is going on to be a serial killer.
    TheTrollinator TheTrollinator
    16-17, M
    1 Response Aug 8, 2014
    DaSlayer DaSlayer
    36-40, M
    1 Response Oct 19, 2015

    You can't make somebody love you.

    You can only stalk them and hope for the best.
    savoy2 savoy2
    46-50, M
    Feb 16, 2016

    "Thinking I'm a moron gives people something to

    feel smug about," Charles Wallace said. "Why should I disillusion them?" ~ Madeleine L'Engle
    SweeetKiester SweeetKiester
    41-45, F
    1 Response Sep 19, 2014

    I don't know if you know this

    but your boobs belong inside of your shirt.
    savoy2 savoy2
    46-50, M
    Feb 17, 2016
    savoy2 savoy2
    46-50, M
    1 Response Jan 6, 2016

    Behold my apathy that will suck the energy out

    of you like a monkey on an orange.
    savoy2 savoy2
    46-50, M
    Apr 6, 2016

    The reason Santa is so jolly,

    is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
    savoy2 savoy2
    46-50, M
    Dec 9, 2015

    Starbucks ordered a local brew pub to stop

    selling "Frappiccino" beer. This was their awesome response.from HappyPlace.com
    SweetKiester SweetKiester
    41-45, F
    2 Responses Jan 1, 2014

    Asking you not to be a dumbass,

    is liking asking fire to not burn, snow not to melt, or me not to be awesome.
    savoy2 savoy2
    46-50, M
    Nov 18, 2015
    savoy2 savoy2
    46-50, M
    Nov 21, 2015
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Sep 23, 2015
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Apr 7, 2016
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