You want to travel, I want you to go.
if you're really irresponsible.
in one of my orifices... I knew exactly what he wanted, but I sent him a picture of me with a taco in my mouth.
but mine is the smartest because I am the laundry lady and I launder my *** daily
and I just have one thing to say, "Onward, Buttercup! There's F***ery to spread!
and when asked to leave the property because harassing customers he replied you can not tell me what to do I am GOD and I rule everything. My first thought that I almost blurted out was really your god can you demonstrate some of those divine powers and disapear
and you'll just have to change position and enjoy it somehow.
if he could see my boobs, so I sent him a picture of Drake and Josh...
but daddy won. He raised a lady who doesn't take **** from anyone.
She had a Social test in school.....one of the questions she didn't know the answer to.
She wrote down 'Jesus' and put beside it (Jesus is always the answer)
She didn't even get half a point!!!
that I don't fully understand to make myself sound more photosynthesis.
told him about something he said "You're lying".. Boy looks at me and says "Easter bunny, Tooth Fairy, Santa Clause"... and walked away like a boss.
you won't fall off and break your ***.
when people ask what my hobbies are...
I mean what do they expect? I'm a mom. I enjoy trips to the bathroom alone, naps and silence.
smartass how about you ?
smart *** make your life worth living smart *** help relief the stress that life gives you.
I am a proud smart *** because when I was a dumb *** I got in trouble.
change and wine to accept the things I can't.
Kids are being loud he's telling them be quiet I can't hear ****. I said if I put my butthole up to your ear you would.
"I need a man who..."
No, you just need to do your homework.
if you don't have skinny genes.
before, and about how she is quite a smartass (like her mother haha) but this little story truly shows who is the smartass-iest between the two of us:
It's the Christmas season, and we are in the mall (West Edmonton Mall, for those in the know)
She and I are walking past the...
.. someone to hold the door open for her, but still smack that *** when she walks in.
My smartassitude has pwned the bullies again & again, given me a world of lolz, and gotten my @rse in trouble, but it's worth it.
What can I say? It's a way of life
Felt guilty. But then I laughed. Am i bad
that I wanted to tell her a secret. It was that I'm an ******* when I drink. She told me it's not a secret. And that it isn't just when I drink.
where people buy 60 watermelons and no one wonders why.
Aristotle died, Newton passed away, Einstein died, and I'm not feeling well today...
Just once I'd like to read a medication bottle that says 'may cause extreme sexiness'
and safe place for you to express the real you without worrying about people passing judgement
yet remove our post so would that not make the report button a judgement by removing a post about puppies life experiences then would that not mean they are preventing you from...
so good, people actually think you're stupid..
and yoga pants always tell the truth.
white and blue are the colors of freedom... until they're flashing behind you...
and stuff so if a zombie apocalypse happens, it would be a formal event.
but it's ok, ...........it was in my pocket.
that she horribly misspelled, then she called me the N word lol but I'm nonchalant. So here's how to handle ignorance ^^.
if you have a sec, tell them "Actually, I have lots of secs". And they will forget what they wanted to ask.
buy some vodka and have a party!
while I light my house on fire...
and think... Oh ****! it's the cops!
first you have to be smart. Otherwise you're just an ***.
I think not.