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I Am a Smartass

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 32,586 People

    A successful date always starts with the woman

    uttering the sentence: You know, why don’t we just skip the expensive dinner and stay here having freaky circus sex all night?
    TheCunylinguist TheCunylinguist 41-45, F 8 Responses Sep 4

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    brookiebear3011 brookiebear3011 13-15, F 2 days ago

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    The last woman I was with said,

    “Kiss me where it stinks.” So, I drove her to East st. Louis. LOL
    TheCunylinguist TheCunylinguist 41-45, F 1 Response Sep 2

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    SociallyAwkwardGirl SociallyAwkwardGirl 16-17, F 3 Responses Jan 8

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    TheCunylinguist TheCunylinguist 41-45, F 3 Responses 6 days ago

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    TheCunylinguist TheCunylinguist 41-45, F 4 Responses Sep 7

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    Every time I hear the word smartass

    or dumbass I can't help but think of Red Foreman from 'That 70's show'
    AlwaysBee AlwaysBee 18-21, F 1 Response Sep 7

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    Relationships are a lot like algebra.

    .. Ever looked at your X and wondered Y?
    ricki2012 ricki2012 51-55, T 1 Response Jul 30

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    When people tell me, "You're going to regret

    that in the morning." I sleep till noon. I'm a problem solver that way.
    Nomad712 Nomad712 56-60, M 3 Responses Jul 12

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    You know your Amish teen is in trouble

    when he's wearing his big black hat backwards.
    TheCunylinguist TheCunylinguist 41-45, F 8 Responses Aug 17

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    Disrespect Me, I'll Disrespect You i dont care

    about You or your Feelings Then
    briannabrib briannabrib 18-21, F 2 Responses 5 days ago

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    More so, I am the devils advocate

    that twists the knife while it's still in the wound.
    Sgm51ngc5194 Sgm51ngc5194 22-25, M 1 Response Sep 4

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    I love testing the waters with smart ***

    replies.. I love fun and light hearted people. Seems that most take this site super seriously and that's sad.
    Recklessdesires Recklessdesires 31-35, F 6 Responses Jun 28

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    Rather be a smartass

    than a dumbass
    mawniegirl mawniegirl 26-30, F 4 Responses 5 days ago

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    You say something to me smart?

    Well be prepared to listen to my mouth
    Saabatt Saabatt 18-21, F 3 Responses 5 days ago

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    I really wish I knew

    who kicked the jack out from under the car I was working on. The suspension is killing me.
    ricki2012 ricki2012 51-55, T 5 Responses Jul 26

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    I am well read, a university graduate,

    and a free thinker. I have an opinion about most things. I am a keen debater too!
    Amipa91 Amipa91 22-25, F 5 Responses Sep 3

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    mehola mehola 70+, T 1 Response 3 days ago

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    quinn96 quinn96 16-17, F 5 Responses Aug 10

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    I figure it's far better

    than being a dumbass!
    LikemYung LikemYung 31-35, M 3 Responses Aug 11

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    TheCunylinguist TheCunylinguist 41-45, F 2 Responses Sep 7

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    BrandanDR BrandanDR 16-17, M 1 Response 4 days ago

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    I like to learn new thing

    but I love to show off my knowledge but I also try not to be too cocky
    dambookworm17 dambookworm17 13-15, F 2 Responses Sep 7

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    Tip: Learn the rules

    so you know how to break them properly.
    TheCunylinguist TheCunylinguist 41-45, F 4 Responses Sep 1

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    I asked God for a bike,

    but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
    TheCunylinguist TheCunylinguist 41-45, F 5 Responses Jun 13

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    Bathroom tip: For fun,

    drop a marble and say, "Oh ****! My glass eye!"
    TheCunylinguist TheCunylinguist 41-45, F 2 Responses Sep 5

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    I use humor as my shield,

    experience as my helmet, intelligence as my spear, and wit as my sword.
    ValR ValR 41-45, F 10 Responses Aug 24

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    TheCunylinguist TheCunylinguist 41-45, F 1 Response Aug 23

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    Okay So people Want To make Smart Comments

    about What I Post? Then Im Unable To Reply To it ? yall So Lucky I cant Reply because IF NEEDED I WILL Put you In your Place!!! I DONT care Who Or How Old you Are !!
    briannabrib briannabrib 18-21, F 3 Responses 5 days ago

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    Sarcastic humour. It gets me in trouble from

    time to time but it is who I am.
    galdran galdran 36-40, M 3 Responses Aug 9

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    If you act or say something stupid prepare to

    back down, because I will find a way to turn everything you say to **** till you do. I am not a mean person but I can not withstand ignorance and disrespect of ANYONE.
    jwolf09 jwolf09 22-25, M 4 Responses Sep 7

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    TheCunylinguist TheCunylinguist 41-45, F 7 Responses 3 days ago

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    I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with

    "Guess" on it...so I said "Implants?"
    TheCunylinguist TheCunylinguist 41-45, F 8 Responses 4 days ago

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    The recipe said "Set the oven to 180 degrees,

    " so I did, but now I can't open it because the door faces the wall.
    ricki2012 ricki2012 51-55, T 5 Responses Aug 20

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    I'll try being nicer

    if you'll try being smarter.
    TheCunylinguist TheCunylinguist 41-45, F 5 Responses Aug 15

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    I speak fluent sarcasm.

    One day it's gonna get me in trouble
    stormyskies12 stormyskies12 13-15, M 4 Responses 13 hrs ago

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    YouMadeMeThink YouMadeMeThink 22-25, M 3 Responses Mar 16

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    I'm pretty sure that

    even my last words on earth will be some sarcastic/smart *** comment that'll leave my children scarred for the rest of their lives. I'm looking forward to that moment. :P
    alifeofcreativity alifeofcreativity 18-21, F 1 Response Sep 7

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    I sometimes use sarcasm

    as a way of dealing with things and it makes me come off as a smartass sometimes. Even though I don't mean to be.
    hasinalady hasinalady 46-50, F 5 Responses Sep 1

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    I'm just a sarcastic *****.

    Not many other words describe me other than those two and I'm perfectly fine with that. I honestly just don't care what people think or how they feel and I have the worst sarcastic and just plain not giving a **** attitude. But it's covered up by humour, dark humour.
    Katiepoohmm Katiepoohmm 18-21, F 3 Responses 13 hrs ago

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    I have a problem with low self esteem.

    Which is ridiculous when you consider how ******* amazing I am.
    Nomad712 Nomad712 56-60, M 4 Responses Jul 9

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    Marriage changes passion .

    .. suddenly you're in bed with a relative.
    TheCunylinguist TheCunylinguist 41-45, F 3 Responses Sep 7

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    Better To Be A Smart @zz Then A Dumb @zz

    Definitely but right now I'm a little slug @zz
    grayday104 grayday104 26-30, M 2 Responses Dec 23, 2011

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    Going to church doesn't make you a Christian,

    any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
    TheCunylinguist TheCunylinguist 41-45, F 5 Responses Aug 23

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    mangomick mangomick 18-21, M 2 Responses 5 days ago

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    GetYourFreakOn GetYourFreakOn 16-17, F 5 Responses Sep 5

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    I can remember phone numbers

    and birthdays. Some names I forget
    ValerieFrizzle ValerieFrizzle 41-45, F 4 Responses 5 days ago

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    I've just fixed the work radio

    that had been broken for months, my colleagues were ecstatic. You should have heard the reception I got.
    ricki2012 ricki2012 51-55, T 1 Response 2 days ago

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    I live with my aunt in Northern Paris.

    She's always saying I have a mouth! I can be very sarcastic she says, argumentative, a smartass! I learned to be in school, there was so much pressure from the other girls. I just had to become a smartass.
    Mstroig Mstroig 18-21, F 3 Responses Sep 5

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    Related Experiences

    It takes a lot for me to want to actually fight someone. A guy in a chevy truck pushed me to that point earlier.
    heisjessica4372 heisjessica4372 31-35, M 1 Response 6 days ago

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    So there is an experience called "I'll be nicer when your smarter." ... Does anyone else see the irony?
    MrsChatterbox MrsChatterbox 26-30, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    Actually, i plundered it. while you were sleeping, (or were at least looking the other way) I unabashedly took what you offered. I alternately drank it in greedily, and sipped it...
    SKiesterly SKiesterly 36-40, F 4 Responses Aug 23

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