I Am a Stand Up Comedien

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 8 People

    A client says to me: "The food tasted vaguely

    like the inside of a hippo's *******."
    Mirmulnir Mirmulnir
    22-25, M
    Nov 5, 2014

    I told my girlfriend "I'd be

    so ****** without you." She says "oh, that's nice." "No, I don't think you understand... I would be getting ****** a lot more without YOU."
    Mirmulnir Mirmulnir
    22-25, M
    Nov 4, 2014

    What is wrong with having a lot of sex?

    Get your money's worth.
    Mirmulnir Mirmulnir
    22-25, M
    Nov 6, 2014

    I had to fill out a report about two coworkers

    of mine, and I said: "Their voices were elevated at a decibel level somewhere between a hippo fart and an elephant ********."
    Mirmulnir Mirmulnir
    22-25, M
    Nov 7, 2014

    Ladies should stop saying they're on their

    period. Instead they should just call it "******* week". When my girlfriend is afflicted by the curse, my d*ck is Moses; parting the Red Sea, that's how we do this.
    Mirmulnir Mirmulnir
    22-25, M
    1 Response Nov 4, 2014
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