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I Am a Stepmother

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 2,593 People

    Third Marriage, No Kids of My Own

    I married for the third time in my life in 2005 to a widower with two boys. I had never wanted kids of my own, but knew if I ever had any, I'd want boys. I had been married twice before and had no idea I would walk down the aisle again until I met Randy. His boys are very good...
    missmollyk missmollyk 36-40, F 5 Responses Feb 18, 2008

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    I just love it when my 3 kids call just to say

    "I love you", and their scattered all over the states. Put a smile on my face!!! I love you Logan, Lindsey, Sue...with all my heart!!! I'm very VERY very thankful to have y'all in my life... Y'all are truly the BEST!!!
    deleted deleted 26-30 Dec 9, 2014

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    So this is more of a vent

    and could possibly be long. I became a step mom all in the same year as I became a mom myself as well as got married. When I decided to marry my husband and take on the role of a step parent I never in my wildest dreams thought I would hate it so bad. I myself grew up a step...
    sgriff66 sgriff66 26-30, F 8 Responses Feb 3

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    "Need I remind you I am his MOTHER" -- A

    phrase that makes almost every stepmother grind her teeth. And so continues this warped power struggle. Personally, I have never felt in competition with my stepson's biological mother. But sometimes the things she throws my way knick a nerve. My fiancée has had primary...
    FindingHerWay22 FindingHerWay22 22-25, F 3 Responses Sep 3, 2014

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    While I usually have nothing

    but good thoughts when it comes to the sentence, "I am a Stepmother" -- I unfortunately feel fairly annoyed with it today. Not on my stepdaughters part, she is anything but an annoyance.... her mother, however, has only proven that she will never change. She is still the exact...
    thejoneses thejoneses 26-30, F 1 Response Mar 11

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    My 13 year old step-daughter was sitting down

    here talking and she talks so dang fast, I could barely understand her. She was telling me about how all she wants to do is go have fun, get a car, be with her friends, which I assume is normal for her age, but then she called me old and said I'm lame! I'm 26! I am not old lol...
    MzKtlyn MzKtlyn 26-30, F 2 Responses Oct 27, 2014

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    I need advice! My husband works from

    8am-4:30pm M-F and school from 5pm-10pm M-Th (all year, he takes courses every semester even in the summer now). He is also gone 1 weekend a month for drill. He has three children from a previous marriage (ages 9,8,3). I'm a sahm (only since the baby arrived, I was an accountant...
    Amnjourney Amnjourney 26-30, F 2 Responses Apr 25

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    My fiancé is the primary custodian of his

    daughter Baylee. Her Mom lives one state over and is supposed to visit Baylee once a month and then has her 2 months of the summer, they trade holidays. It always seems that when Baylee comes home after being with her Mom she is a little terror. Shawn’s ex tends to give...
    RoosMom RoosMom 36-40, F 1 Response Aug 30, 2014

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    Transgendergirl01 Transgendergirl01 13-15, M 1 Response May 18

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    Vindictive Ex Wives And Ineffective Fathering

    I've posted this basically elsewhere, but I've come to the conclusion that the main problems are created when you have a vile, vindictive BM and a Father who does not expect respect and set boundaries. If the bio mum is normal, then a neutral tone, or even better, can be set...
    Kimski44 Kimski44 51-55, F 3 Responses Dec 2, 2013

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    Here's the story. Today is our family's first

    time getting professional photos taken. So while husband was at work last night I took the kids shopping for holiday outfits. He wanted me to grab his son (my step-son) a white button up with a red tie so I grabbed two white button ups for my son and step-son. There were only a...
    VT100712 VT100712 26-30, F 1 Response Dec 13, 2014

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    From A Stepson: I'm So Sorry.

    My stepmom married my Dad when I was pretty young. My earliest memory of my stepmother was booby-trapping a door to make something fall on her head. I was a MEAN, spoiled little boy. When I was a teenager, I gave my stepmom attitude all the time. I was disrespectful and...
    mistercrayon mistercrayon 36-40 10 Responses Nov 21, 2011

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    I am not married but me

    and my boyfriend have been living together for almost two years, his son who is 5 (we will call him Bob haha) has lived with us for a year now and his daughter who is 4 lives with her mom. I'm not sure if that really considers me to be a step mom but if you ask his son what i...
    newstepmom92 newstepmom92 22-25, F 2 Responses May 11, 2014

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    K. So I just finished reading the

    “Step-Parent's Guide” to step parenting posted to this forum on June 12, 2014 by a step-kid. You can find it at EP Link Now, keep in mind that this step-kid has had 3 “not so great” step parents already. At any rate, this step-kid wanted to offer the perspective of the...
    KelleeDee KelleeDee 46-50, F 1 Response Nov 27, 2014

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    Well, I'm engaged but it has been a rough road.

    I have 2 sons, one is 21 and lives 12 hours away where his father is. My other son lives with me and I have been the only real constant in his life. He is 20 and has severe autism. I had become comfortable with the idea that I may meet men who are attracted to me but not one...
    jenniferthibodeaux jenniferthibodeaux 41-45, F Apr 24

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    I wish I could have a traditional family.

    I want to marry my boyfriend in future and have his kids but the fact he's already got kids from his past relationship kills me. I never know to follow my head or heart and stay with the man I love or leave him and find someone without kids. anyone else feel the same?
    lnicolem lnicolem 18-21, F 4 Responses Mar 16

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    I don't understand why problems between the

    bio-mom and step-mom are so common. As parents shouldn't the well being and benefits of our children go before our own conflicts? I am a birth mother to three children and a step mother to one. My older two children's bio-dad isn't yet remarried but he's been in a new...
    VT100712 VT100712 26-30, F 2 Responses Dec 9, 2014

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    SKDel SKDel 26-30, F 5 Responses Mar 20

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    We may call off the wedding due to the

    visitation schedule fights We are engaged to be married in 30 days after being together over 4 years. I have a great relationship with his 15 year old daughter and 9 year old daughter. I feel a strong bond as if the girls were my own, which should be great....My Fiance and I...
    stepmomplan stepmomplan 31-35, F 2 Responses Apr 14

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    Young Stepmom

    Hi everyone! i am so glad to have found this forum! i feel very secluded in my new adventure as a young stepmother and have recently had mild anxiety about the whole idea. nobody i talk to can really relate and so i don't talk to anyone about it anymore. i hope this cyber...
    ladywulf ladywulf 22-25, F 8 Responses Aug 20, 2010

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    Young Soon-To-Be Stepmom

    Hey all! I am 22 years old, getting married to my partner who I have been with for two years and I'm going to be a stepmom. It is literally a situation that jumped out at us from nowhere. We had been contacted by his Ex recently after we got engaged and notified that he had a...
    cheazyniff339 cheazyniff339 22-25 2 Responses Nov 11, 2013

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    Well, it's that one out of the year

    where Mothers are celebrated and loved. What about Stepmom's who help raise their partners children and some whose step kids live with them full time? How does Mothers Day feel to you? Are you happy or wishing the step kids to be grown and gone? Maybe even sad that they forget...
    Februarychic Februarychic 31-35, F 2 Responses May 10

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    Teenage Stepdaughter Tried To Break Up My Marriage To Her Father

    I met my husband 5 years ago we have been married for 3 years he came with baggage from his past as I did also, I have 2 children from my previouse marriage, and have done my upmost for my children to accept him as a stepdad, they love and respect him more than their own dad, who...
    Imamum2 Imamum2 41-45 22 Responses Sep 10, 2010

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    My 16 year old stepdaughter is a night mare!

    She hates me and emotionally drains my family. She's lives with us ... I can barely take her rudeness.
    johanssh johanssh 41-45, F 1 Response Dec 7, 2014

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    I Am A Mother.

    I am the non-biological mother of my 9yo son, Jacob. I am, technically, his stepmother. But when I look at him, I don't see 'stepkid'. I see my son. He has been in my life since he was 8 months old and when he said 'mummy' for the first time, he said it to me- copying his...
    KaemiRae KaemiRae 31-35, F Jul 14, 2013

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    I have an 11 year old step son,

    in addition to a 14 month old biological daughter. I'm one of the lucky ones. My husband has always given me the full authority of a parent, and has always backed me up, so I do not have to worry about my step son disrespecting me. His biological mother is completely out of the...
    Bluebutterflywings Bluebutterflywings 26-30, F 1 Response Jun 15, 2014

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    Love Being a Stepmom

    Yes i do love being a step mom but it is not always easy and anyone who thinks it is is just foolish.  when I met my husband his two boys were very young so I guess that made it some what easier to become part of thier lives, but make no mistakes you are not thier real...
    denise6214 denise6214 41-45 3 Responses Oct 3, 2008

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    My stepdaughter gets on my nerves.

    She hates life, me everything. She is so hard to love. But she is only 14. I feel bad not liking her.
    rj2015 rj2015 31-35, F 5 Responses Mar 20

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    Stole By Evil Jehovah Witness Cult in 2002- My

    Russian speaking husband since 2000 have a son in 1992 and daughter in 1994 with a Black woman who is typical American woman and do not want to share the children. The children are born in Arizona and my husband when not allowed to participate in their childhood move to Oregon...
    Fracisca Fracisca 36-40, F 1 Response Dec 4, 2014

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    I had moved out from my country

    and lived with my husband now in he's country. I don't know anyone rand I have no friends here. I feel lonely frustrated and no help at all. My husband has two kids one is 9 and one is 14 and they're both lazy, spoilt kids. I don't blame them cause that's how they're brought up...
    fatsebral fatsebral 26-30, F Feb 9

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    Any Good Stories?

    I am currently in a position where my husband's daughter of six years may be coming to live with us. We have no children of our own, the daughter is coming to us from a neglectful situation (her biological mother is now in jail), and I care about her very much. However...
    siren1971 siren1971 36-40, F 82 Responses Jan 17, 2008

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    I am my Stepdaughter's scapegoat.

    She's almost 21 & I've been in her life since she was 9. She has had everything handed to her by her paternal grandparents & mom. Her dad (my husband) has not handed her anything. She has not ever held a"real job" (worked at McDonald's for 2 weeks & decided she didn't like that...
    var122 var122 41-45, F 3 Responses Apr 14

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    Stepparenting is like working at a late-night

    convenience store...all of the responsibility and none of the authority. The role of the stepmother is the most difficult of all, because you can't ever just be. You're constantly being tested, by the children, the neighbors, your husband, the relatives, old friends who knew...
    Lostnalone22 Lostnalone22 31-35, F 7 Responses Dec 2, 2013

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    I've been with my husband

    for over 10 years. When we first started dating I was 24 and his daughter from a previous relationship was 5. At first I was very hesitant about dating a man with children. I've never even wanted children of my own, and still don't to this day. However, when I finally met her...
    myblumoon myblumoon 31-35, F 2 Responses Feb 13

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    I have always wanted to be a stepmother

    and a mom to grown up kids.. My partner has teenage kids and his eldest is just nearby. I was scared of how she will react to my relationship with his dad before so I tried to avoid her on so many ocassions.. But now that we know each other everything is almost perfect.. I will...
    SugarK SugarK 31-35, F Aug 5, 2014

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    Things Have Changed!

    So a month or so ago,I wrote about my stepmother experience. After a little communication and me backing off a bit. I've found that the stepmother thing really isn't all that bad. At the end of the day,some kids just don't want another motherly figure nagging and telling them...
    Ttbaby23 Ttbaby23 31-35, F 1 Response Oct 28, 2013

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    The girls are 6 and 10

    and their Father is very laid back and doesn't set boundaries. It's so frustrating to be the bad guy all the time for the little stuff (bed time, schedules, showers) and then being dismissed when i voice my concerns on the big issues. (Internet safety/monitoring, one of the...
    shayrae585 shayrae585 26-30, F 2 Responses Dec 21, 2014

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    Where to start.... I am a girlfriend stepmom.

    I have been with my boyfriend for a year, but have been in his life for longer. He has a beautiful daughter, who is 7 and we get along great. When he gets his daughter every other weekend and on Wednesdays (weird set up I know) we take her brother, David and he is 5. I have no...
    addily addily 26-30, F 2 Responses Dec 31, 2014

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    http://www.today.com/parents/letter-my-daughters-stepmom-i-never-wanted-you-here-1D80341783?cid=sm_fbn I found this heartwarming letter written by a biological mother to the stepmother. I think my experience being a stepmom would have been so much better if my stepdaughters mom...
    Februarychic Februarychic 31-35, F 1 Response Dec 9, 2014

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    Heartbroken

    I have been in the childrens life for about 10 years now. I don't think I could have loved them more if they had been my own. But I find that no matter what I have done for my stepdaughter I will always be the evil one. And I am heart broken, and running on empty
    empty empty 51-55, F 7 Responses Nov 13, 2007

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    Open Letter To My Husband's Ex-You are a very

    cunning manipulator. You have told lies for 17 years in a childish attempt to hurt your ex but the ONLY person you have hurt was your OWN daughter. I am a mother also as you know and NEVER would I post my child’s picture and name, even a fake name(her true and recognized name...
    KwiteMama KwiteMama 36-40, F 1 Response May 2

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    A couple of months ago my longtime boyfriend

    and I moved in together. I have a 14yo son and he has a 6 soon to be 7 yo daughter. I never thought I would enjoy having a little girl so much! Don't get me wrong I love my son to pieces but the shopping and playing are so much more fun. The merging of households has been...
    RoosMom RoosMom 36-40, F 4 Responses Aug 28, 2014

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    Stepdaughter is coming

    for a visit in a few weeks (she lives out of state with her mom). We don't have much contact with her (my husband and his ex had a pretty bad break up and even all these years later there is hostility on both sides) A few years ago when she was graduating HS, I told her I had...
    been2 been2 36-40, F 6 Responses Mar 14

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    Step parenting kids whose mother is your exact

    opposite is so frustrating. She lived off of my husband and I for the first five years of our relationship. We had to pay her house payment because she refused to live within her own means. I had to put a roof over her kids heads when they were with their father, and my...
    janeeyrelover janeeyrelover 41-45, F Feb 7

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    I have been a step mom to two boys

    for the past four years. My hubby is great provider but not so good at disciplining the kids. I care about the boys so constantly worry about their schoolwork and other things. All their responsibility is on me even though hubby had said we will share the load of raising them. I...
    notmomyet notmomyet 31-35, F 1 Response Apr 23, 2014

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    Unconditional Love

    My husband and I met back in 2002. He was currently recovering from a nearly lethal bout of Epstein Barr induced meningitis and encephalitis. He had met one of the girls I went to school w. really bad girl- promiscuous and a drug user. She leeched onto him and invaded his life...
    Safka9973 Safka9973 26-30, F 2 Responses Jun 5, 2013

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