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I Am a Stepmother

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 2,511 People

    A couple of months ago my longtime boyfriend

    and I moved in together. I have a 14yo son and he has a 6 soon to be 7 yo daughter. I never thought I would enjoy having a little girl so much! Don't get me wrong I love my son to pieces but the shopping and playing are so much more fun. The merging of households has been...
    RoosMom RoosMom 36-40, F 4 Responses Aug 28, 2014

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    I remember the first time I met my boyfriends

    son. I was so nervous so I bought him a bag full of candy (he was 5). He walked in looking at me sideways and then we took him to the zoo and it was so fun. Hes 8 now and I love him hes such a cool little dude. I dont want to have kids myself so its perfect bcuz i skipped the...
    DenSan DenSan 22-25, F Nov 8, 2014

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    Vindictive Ex Wives And Ineffective Fathering

    I've posted this basically elsewhere, but I've come to the conclusion that the main problems are created when you have a vile, vindictive BM and a Father who does not expect respect and set boundaries. If the bio mum is normal, then a neutral tone, or even better, can be set...
    Kimski44 Kimski44 51-55, F 3 Responses Dec 2, 2013

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    I wish I could have a traditional family.

    I want to marry my boyfriend in future and have his kids but the fact he's already got kids from his past relationship kills me. I never know to follow my head or heart and stay with the man I love or leave him and find someone without kids. anyone else feel the same?
    lnicolem lnicolem 18-21, F 5 Responses Mar 16

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    I Am A Mother.

    I am the non-biological mother of my 9yo son, Jacob. I am, technically, his stepmother. But when I look at him, I don't see 'stepkid'. I see my son. He has been in my life since he was 8 months old and when he said 'mummy' for the first time, he said it to me- copying his...
    KaemiRae KaemiRae 31-35, F Jul 14, 2013

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    Stepparenting is like working at a late-night

    convenience store...all of the responsibility and none of the authority. The role of the stepmother is the most difficult of all, because you can't ever just be. You're constantly being tested, by the children, the neighbors, your husband, the relatives, old friends who knew...
    Lostnalone22 Lostnalone22 31-35, F 7 Responses Dec 2, 2013

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    While I usually have nothing

    but good thoughts when it comes to the sentence, "I am a Stepmother" -- I unfortunately feel fairly annoyed with it today. Not on my stepdaughters part, she is anything but an annoyance.... her mother, however, has only proven that she will never change. She is still the exact...
    thejoneses thejoneses 22-25, F 1 Response Mar 11

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    My stepdaughter gets on my nerves.

    She hates life, me everything. She is so hard to love. But she is only 14. I feel bad not liking her.
    rj2015 rj2015 31-35, F 5 Responses Mar 20

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    I miss my stepdaughter angelica.

    .We haven't seen her in two months. Her mom always has an excuse why Angelica cant come. I dont understand the problem if someone loves your child. isnt that a good thing?
    Jeannie3636 Jeannie3636 36-40, F 3 Responses Nov 8, 2014

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    I am about to go into court

    and testify why my stepdaughter should have restricted visitation w/birth mom. We have a good relationship and I went through much of what she has gone through. My question is this.....birth mom has another child w finance, and he has kiddos w his ex. I am almost 100% sure...
    Peanuts3 Peanuts3 41-45, F 2 Responses Nov 17, 2014

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    http://www.today.com/parents/letter-my-daughters-stepmom-i-never-wanted-you-here-1D80341783?cid=sm_fbn I found this heartwarming letter written by a biological mother to the stepmother. I think my experience being a stepmom would have been so much better if my stepdaughters mom...
    Februarychic Februarychic 31-35, F 1 Response Dec 9, 2014

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    I don't understand why problems between the

    bio-mom and step-mom are so common. As parents shouldn't the well being and benefits of our children go before our own conflicts? I am a birth mother to three children and a step mother to one. My older two children's bio-dad isn't yet remarried but he's been in a new...
    VT100712 VT100712 26-30, F 2 Responses Dec 9, 2014

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    My 13 year old step-daughter was sitting down

    here talking and she talks so dang fast, I could barely understand her. She was telling me about how all she wants to do is go have fun, get a car, be with her friends, which I assume is normal for her age, but then she called me old and said I'm lame! I'm 26! I am not old lol...
    MzKtlyn MzKtlyn 26-30, F 2 Responses Oct 27, 2014

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    Third Marriage, No Kids of My Own

    I married for the third time in my life in 2005 to a widower with two boys. I had never wanted kids of my own, but knew if I ever had any, I'd want boys. I had been married twice before and had no idea I would walk down the aisle again until I met Randy. His boys are very good...
    missmollyk missmollyk 36-40, F 5 Responses Feb 18, 2008

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    Where to start.... I am a girlfriend stepmom.

    I have been with my boyfriend for a year, but have been in his life for longer. He has a beautiful daughter, who is 7 and we get along great. When he gets his daughter every other weekend and on Wednesdays (weird set up I know) we take her brother, David and he is 5. I have no...
    addily addily 26-30, F 2 Responses Dec 31, 2014

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    The girls are 6 and 10

    and their Father is very laid back and doesn't set boundaries. It's so frustrating to be the bad guy all the time for the little stuff (bed time, schedules, showers) and then being dismissed when i voice my concerns on the big issues. (Internet safety/monitoring, one of the...
    shayrae585 shayrae585 26-30, F 2 Responses Dec 21, 2014

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    I have been a step mom to two boys

    for the past four years. My hubby is great provider but not so good at disciplining the kids. I care about the boys so constantly worry about their schoolwork and other things. All their responsibility is on me even though hubby had said we will share the load of raising them. I...
    notmomyet notmomyet 31-35, F 1 Response Apr 23, 2014

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    Ma-bell Reaches Out

    Warning: Extreme Rage Release Area Grrr... my heart still hurts. Mommy finally called- it's only been, what? Six months since my babies last heard their bio-mother's voice? Why bother? Why even pick up the stupid cell phone that stays in your pocket every single day and call...
    sitizen sitizen 26-30 1 Response Dec 26, 2012

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    I'm struggling with my 15yr old stepson.

    He feels like he comes to me even though his dad and I make sure he is important and sacrifice a lot for him. I'm not sure what to do or how to fix the situation.
    lindsayt84 lindsayt84 31-35 1 Response Mar 11

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    I have an 11 year old step son,

    in addition to a 14 month old biological daughter. I'm one of the lucky ones. My husband has always given me the full authority of a parent, and has always backed me up, so I do not have to worry about my step son disrespecting me. His biological mother is completely out of the...
    Bluebutterflywings Bluebutterflywings 26-30, F 1 Response Jun 15, 2014

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    Young Stepmom

    Hi everyone! i am so glad to have found this forum! i feel very secluded in my new adventure as a young stepmother and have recently had mild anxiety about the whole idea. nobody i talk to can really relate and so i don't talk to anyone about it anymore. i hope this cyber...
    ladywulf ladywulf 22-25, F 8 Responses Aug 20, 2010

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    Any Good Stories?

    I am currently in a position where my husband's daughter of six years may be coming to live with us. We have no children of our own, the daughter is coming to us from a neglectful situation (her biological mother is now in jail), and I care about her very much. However...
    siren1971 siren1971 36-40, F 82 Responses Jan 17, 2008

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    SKDel SKDel 26-30, F 5 Responses Mar 20

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    Remembering the first time i was going to meet

    at the time my new boyfriends little boy. He was preparing me for the meet filling me in on what he was like telling me the mother had told him that he was slow possibly retarded although i don't like that word having had a autistic nephew myself i assured him thats not a...
    cccaus4 cccaus4 36-40, F 2 Responses Nov 7, 2014

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    I had moved out from my country

    and lived with my husband now in he's country. I don't know anyone rand I have no friends here. I feel lonely frustrated and no help at all. My husband has two kids one is 9 and one is 14 and they're both lazy, spoilt kids. I don't blame them cause that's how they're brought up...
    fatsebral fatsebral 26-30, F Feb 9

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    Being a step mum is hard

    and has split my marriage up
    jlt4 jlt4 46-50, F 2 Responses Jun 4, 2014

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    Teenage Stepdaughter Tried To Break Up My Marriage To Her Father

    I met my husband 5 years ago we have been married for 3 years he came with baggage from his past as I did also, I have 2 children from my previouse marriage, and have done my upmost for my children to accept him as a stepdad, they love and respect him more than their own dad, who...
    Imamum2 Imamum2 41-45 22 Responses Sep 10, 2010

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    I am my Stepdaughter's scapegoat.

    She's almost 21 & I've been in her life since she was 9. She has had everything handed to her by her paternal grandparents & mom. Her dad (my husband) has not handed her anything. She has not ever held a"real job" (worked at McDonald's for 2 weeks & decided she didn't like that...
    var122 var122 41-45, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    I have a complex situation.

    I have a son who is now 22 and a step daughter who moved in at the age of 12. she was a nightmare and no discipline from her dad my husband. when my son and her reached 17 I found out they were in a relationship. I was devastated. they both went to different universities and...
    michelleg68 michelleg68 46-50, F 1 Response Mar 12

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    My 13 year old step daughter talks like a three

    year old with her Dad and constantly reminds him of her baby years, in front of me.
    puffy0308 puffy0308 46-50, F 1 Response Feb 12

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    I just love it when my 3 kids call just to say

    "I love you", and their scattered all over the states. Put a smile on my face!!! I love you Logan, Lindsey, Sue...with all my heart!!! I'm very VERY very thankful to have y'all in my life... Y'all are truly the BEST!!!
    deleted deleted 26-30 Dec 9, 2014

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    Stepdaughter is coming

    for a visit in a few weeks (she lives out of state with her mom). We don't have much contact with her (my husband and his ex had a pretty bad break up and even all these years later there is hostility on both sides) A few years ago when she was graduating HS, I told her I had...
    been2 been2 36-40, F 6 Responses Mar 14

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    I have always wanted to be a stepmother

    and a mom to grown up kids.. My partner has teenage kids and his eldest is just nearby. I was scared of how she will react to my relationship with his dad before so I tried to avoid her on so many ocassions.. But now that we know each other everything is almost perfect.. I will...
    SugarK SugarK 31-35, F Aug 5, 2014

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    Things Have Changed!

    So a month or so ago,I wrote about my stepmother experience. After a little communication and me backing off a bit. I've found that the stepmother thing really isn't all that bad. At the end of the day,some kids just don't want another motherly figure nagging and telling them...
    Ttbaby23 Ttbaby23 31-35, F 1 Response Oct 28, 2013

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    My 16 year old stepdaughter is a night mare!

    She hates me and emotionally drains my family. She's lives with us ... I can barely take her rudeness.
    johanssh johanssh 41-45, F 1 Response Dec 7, 2014

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    Here's the story. Today is our family's first

    time getting professional photos taken. So while husband was at work last night I took the kids shopping for holiday outfits. He wanted me to grab his son (my step-son) a white button up with a red tie so I grabbed two white button ups for my son and step-son. There were only a...
    VT100712 VT100712 26-30, F 1 Response Dec 13, 2014

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    He just accused me of running his daughter off.

    Why? Because I was watching a movie with my three year old and his daughter had gone downstairs. Did I tell her to or make her? No. Here is a sixteen year old who never goes out with friends but sits around every weekend. At home. Wants to cook for her dad and sits upstairs...
    NotSoPerfect777 NotSoPerfect777 41-45, F 6 Responses Nov 14, 2014

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    "Need I remind you I am his MOTHER" -- A

    phrase that makes almost every stepmother grind her teeth. And so continues this warped power struggle. Personally, I have never felt in competition with my stepson's biological mother. But sometimes the things she throws my way knick a nerve. My fiancée has had primary...
    FindingHerWay22 FindingHerWay22 22-25, F 3 Responses Sep 3, 2014

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    Step parenting kids whose mother is your exact

    opposite is so frustrating. She lived off of my husband and I for the first five years of our relationship. We had to pay her house payment because she refused to live within her own means. I had to put a roof over her kids heads when they were with their father, and my...
    janeeyrelover janeeyrelover 41-45, F Feb 7

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    "Do I Have To Call You Mom?"

    26 years ago that was the question my 9 year old stepson asked. My response.... "No, you don't have to call me mom - you can call me anything you like as long as it's respectful." Was I wise beyond my years back then? Perhaps, but I think it had more to do with the fact that I...
    StepCommunicator StepCommunicator 51-55, F Jul 31, 2013

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    My fiancé is the primary custodian of his

    daughter Baylee. Her Mom lives one state over and is supposed to visit Baylee once a month and then has her 2 months of the summer, they trade holidays. It always seems that when Baylee comes home after being with her Mom she is a little terror. Shawn’s ex tends to give...
    RoosMom RoosMom 36-40, F 1 Response Aug 30, 2014

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    Young Soon-To-Be Stepmom

    Hey all! I am 22 years old, getting married to my partner who I have been with for two years and I'm going to be a stepmom. It is literally a situation that jumped out at us from nowhere. We had been contacted by his Ex recently after we got engaged and notified that he had a...
    cheazyniff339 cheazyniff339 22-25 2 Responses Nov 11, 2013

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    Snapshot of a Stepmother

    I don't know any little girls who dream of becoming stepmothers.  I have regrets of my past but I still look forward to the future as hopefully as I can muster.  Being a stepmom for over 5 years has been both a thankless and awesome experience.  At...
    wickedstepmother wickedstepmother 26-30, F 31 Responses Apr 5, 2007

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    Unconditional Love

    My husband and I met back in 2002. He was currently recovering from a nearly lethal bout of Epstein Barr induced meningitis and encephalitis. He had met one of the girls I went to school w. really bad girl- promiscuous and a drug user. She leeched onto him and invaded his life...
    Safka9973 Safka9973 26-30, F 2 Responses Jun 5, 2013

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    So this is more of a vent

    and could possibly be long. I became a step mom all in the same year as I became a mom myself as well as got married. When I decided to marry my husband and take on the role of a step parent I never in my wildest dreams thought I would hate it so bad. I myself grew up a step...
    sgriff66 sgriff66 26-30, F 7 Responses Feb 3

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    K. So I just finished reading the

    “Step-Parent's Guide” to step parenting posted to this forum on June 12, 2014 by a step-kid. You can find it at EP Link Now, keep in mind that this step-kid has had 3 “not so great” step parents already. At any rate, this step-kid wanted to offer the perspective of the...
    KelleeDee KelleeDee 46-50, F 1 Response Nov 27, 2014

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