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I Am a Stepmother

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 2,591 People

    Stepparenting is like working at a late-night

    convenience store...all of the responsibility and none of the authority. The role of the stepmother is the most difficult of all, because you can't ever just be. You're constantly being tested, by the children, the neighbors, your husband, the relatives, old friends who knew...
    Lostnalone22 Lostnalone22 31-35, F 7 Responses Dec 2, 2013

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    Heartbroken

    I have been in the childrens life for about 10 years now. I don't think I could have loved them more if they had been my own. But I find that no matter what I have done for my stepdaughter I will always be the evil one. And I am heart broken, and running on empty
    empty empty 51-55, F 7 Responses Nov 13, 2007

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    My 13 year old step daughter talks like a three

    year old with her Dad and constantly reminds him of her baby years, in front of me.
    puffy0308 puffy0308 46-50, F 1 Response Feb 12

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    I'm struggling with my 15yr old stepson.

    He feels like he comes to me even though his dad and I make sure he is important and sacrifice a lot for him. I'm not sure what to do or how to fix the situation.
    lindsayt84 lindsayt84 31-35 1 Response Mar 11

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    Stepdaughter is coming

    for a visit in a few weeks (she lives out of state with her mom). We don't have much contact with her (my husband and his ex had a pretty bad break up and even all these years later there is hostility on both sides) A few years ago when she was graduating HS, I told her I had...
    been2 been2 36-40, F 6 Responses Mar 14

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    Being a step mum is hard

    and has split my marriage up
    jlt4 jlt4 46-50, F 2 Responses Jun 4, 2014

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    He just accused me of running his daughter off.

    Why? Because I was watching a movie with my three year old and his daughter had gone downstairs. Did I tell her to or make her? No. Here is a sixteen year old who never goes out with friends but sits around every weekend. At home. Wants to cook for her dad and sits upstairs...
    NotSoPerfect777 NotSoPerfect777 41-45, F 8 Responses Nov 14, 2014

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    Teenage Stepdaughter Tried To Break Up My Marriage To Her Father

    I met my husband 5 years ago we have been married for 3 years he came with baggage from his past as I did also, I have 2 children from my previouse marriage, and have done my upmost for my children to accept him as a stepdad, they love and respect him more than their own dad, who...
    Imamum2 Imamum2 41-45 22 Responses Sep 10, 2010

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    http://www.today.com/parents/letter-my-daughters-stepmom-i-never-wanted-you-here-1D80341783?cid=sm_fbn I found this heartwarming letter written by a biological mother to the stepmother. I think my experience being a stepmom would have been so much better if my stepdaughters mom...
    Februarychic Februarychic 31-35, F 1 Response Dec 9, 2014

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    We may call off the wedding due to the

    visitation schedule fights We are engaged to be married in 30 days after being together over 4 years. I have a great relationship with his 15 year old daughter and 9 year old daughter. I feel a strong bond as if the girls were my own, which should be great....My Fiance and I...
    stepmomplan stepmomplan 31-35, F 2 Responses Apr 14

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    Where to start.... I am a girlfriend stepmom.

    I have been with my boyfriend for a year, but have been in his life for longer. He has a beautiful daughter, who is 7 and we get along great. When he gets his daughter every other weekend and on Wednesdays (weird set up I know) we take her brother, David and he is 5. I have no...
    addily addily 26-30, F 2 Responses Dec 31, 2014

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    While I usually have nothing

    but good thoughts when it comes to the sentence, "I am a Stepmother" -- I unfortunately feel fairly annoyed with it today. Not on my stepdaughters part, she is anything but an annoyance.... her mother, however, has only proven that she will never change. She is still the exact...
    thejoneses thejoneses 26-30, F 1 Response Mar 11

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    I'm 24 and married to a wonderful hubby.

    He's much older than I am so I'm also stepmother of his 3 children. Two girls 10 and 13 and a boy 11 who are wonderful but can be a handful :-) We have been a family for almost 2 years so I'm still learning about being a parent and fitting-in with them all. I know I can...
    Rachelly3 Rachelly3 22-25, F 45 Responses Jul 31, 2014

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    My 13 year old step-daughter was sitting down

    here talking and she talks so dang fast, I could barely understand her. She was telling me about how all she wants to do is go have fun, get a car, be with her friends, which I assume is normal for her age, but then she called me old and said I'm lame! I'm 26! I am not old lol...
    MzKtlyn MzKtlyn 26-30, F 2 Responses Oct 27, 2014

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    I have always wanted to be a stepmother

    and a mom to grown up kids.. My partner has teenage kids and his eldest is just nearby. I was scared of how she will react to my relationship with his dad before so I tried to avoid her on so many ocassions.. But now that we know each other everything is almost perfect.. I will...
    SugarK SugarK 31-35, F Aug 5, 2014

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    SKDel SKDel 26-30, F 5 Responses Mar 20

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    A couple of months ago my longtime boyfriend

    and I moved in together. I have a 14yo son and he has a 6 soon to be 7 yo daughter. I never thought I would enjoy having a little girl so much! Don't get me wrong I love my son to pieces but the shopping and playing are so much more fun. The merging of households has been...
    RoosMom RoosMom 36-40, F 4 Responses Aug 28, 2014

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    So this is more of a vent

    and could possibly be long. I became a step mom all in the same year as I became a mom myself as well as got married. When I decided to marry my husband and take on the role of a step parent I never in my wildest dreams thought I would hate it so bad. I myself grew up a step...
    sgriff66 sgriff66 26-30, F 8 Responses Feb 3

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    Any Good Stories?

    I am currently in a position where my husband's daughter of six years may be coming to live with us. We have no children of our own, the daughter is coming to us from a neglectful situation (her biological mother is now in jail), and I care about her very much. However...
    siren1971 siren1971 36-40, F 82 Responses Jan 17, 2008

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    Snapshot of a Stepmother

    I don't know any little girls who dream of becoming stepmothers.  I have regrets of my past but I still look forward to the future as hopefully as I can muster.  Being a stepmom for over 5 years has been both a thankless and awesome experience.  At...
    wickedstepmother wickedstepmother 26-30, F 31 Responses Apr 5, 2007

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    Does anyone post on Steptalk.

    org? Their stories are so real (like ours) but their quotes are hilarious! Has anyone read the book Stepmonster by Wednesday Martin? I'm thinking about getting it and starting discussions about how it relates to us as Stepmom's.
    Februarychic Februarychic 31-35, F a week ago

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    My fiancé is the primary custodian of his

    daughter Baylee. Her Mom lives one state over and is supposed to visit Baylee once a month and then has her 2 months of the summer, they trade holidays. It always seems that when Baylee comes home after being with her Mom she is a little terror. Shawn’s ex tends to give...
    RoosMom RoosMom 36-40, F 1 Response Aug 30, 2014

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    "Need I remind you I am his MOTHER" -- A

    phrase that makes almost every stepmother grind her teeth. And so continues this warped power struggle. Personally, I have never felt in competition with my stepson's biological mother. But sometimes the things she throws my way knick a nerve. My fiancée has had primary...
    FindingHerWay22 FindingHerWay22 22-25, F 3 Responses Sep 3, 2014

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    I had moved out from my country

    and lived with my husband now in he's country. I don't know anyone rand I have no friends here. I feel lonely frustrated and no help at all. My husband has two kids one is 9 and one is 14 and they're both lazy, spoilt kids. I don't blame them cause that's how they're brought up...
    fatsebral fatsebral 26-30, F Feb 9

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    Well, I'm engaged but it has been a rough road.

    I have 2 sons, one is 21 and lives 12 hours away where his father is. My other son lives with me and I have been the only real constant in his life. He is 20 and has severe autism. I had become comfortable with the idea that I may meet men who are attracted to me but not one...
    jenniferthibodeaux jenniferthibodeaux 41-45, F Apr 24

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    I am not married but me

    and my boyfriend have been living together for almost two years, his son who is 5 (we will call him Bob haha) has lived with us for a year now and his daughter who is 4 lives with her mom. I'm not sure if that really considers me to be a step mom but if you ask his son what i...
    newstepmom92 newstepmom92 22-25, F 2 Responses May 11, 2014

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    Love Being a Stepmom

    Yes i do love being a step mom but it is not always easy and anyone who thinks it is is just foolish.  when I met my husband his two boys were very young so I guess that made it some what easier to become part of thier lives, but make no mistakes you are not thier real...
    denise6214 denise6214 41-45 3 Responses Oct 3, 2008

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    Young Stepmom

    Hi everyone! i am so glad to have found this forum! i feel very secluded in my new adventure as a young stepmother and have recently had mild anxiety about the whole idea. nobody i talk to can really relate and so i don't talk to anyone about it anymore. i hope this cyber...
    ladywulf ladywulf 22-25, F 8 Responses Aug 20, 2010

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    Step parenting kids whose mother is your exact

    opposite is so frustrating. She lived off of my husband and I for the first five years of our relationship. We had to pay her house payment because she refused to live within her own means. I had to put a roof over her kids heads when they were with their father, and my...
    janeeyrelover janeeyrelover 41-45, F Feb 7

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    I have a complex situation.

    I have a son who is now 22 and a step daughter who moved in at the age of 12. she was a nightmare and no discipline from her dad my husband. when my son and her reached 17 I found out they were in a relationship. I was devastated. they both went to different universities and...
    michelleg68 michelleg68 46-50, F 1 Response Mar 12

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    I am my Stepdaughter's scapegoat.

    She's almost 21 & I've been in her life since she was 9. She has had everything handed to her by her paternal grandparents & mom. Her dad (my husband) has not handed her anything. She has not ever held a"real job" (worked at McDonald's for 2 weeks & decided she didn't like that...
    var122 var122 41-45, F 3 Responses Apr 14

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    Unconditional Love

    My husband and I met back in 2002. He was currently recovering from a nearly lethal bout of Epstein Barr induced meningitis and encephalitis. He had met one of the girls I went to school w. really bad girl- promiscuous and a drug user. She leeched onto him and invaded his life...
    Safka9973 Safka9973 26-30, F 2 Responses Jun 5, 2013

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    Third Marriage, No Kids of My Own

    I married for the third time in my life in 2005 to a widower with two boys. I had never wanted kids of my own, but knew if I ever had any, I'd want boys. I had been married twice before and had no idea I would walk down the aisle again until I met Randy. His boys are very good...
    missmollyk missmollyk 36-40, F 5 Responses Feb 18, 2008

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    My stepdaughter gets on my nerves.

    She hates life, me everything. She is so hard to love. But she is only 14. I feel bad not liking her.
    rj2015 rj2015 31-35, F 5 Responses Mar 20

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    I have an 11 year old step son,

    in addition to a 14 month old biological daughter. I'm one of the lucky ones. My husband has always given me the full authority of a parent, and has always backed me up, so I do not have to worry about my step son disrespecting me. His biological mother is completely out of the...
    Bluebutterflywings Bluebutterflywings 26-30, F 1 Response Jun 15, 2014

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    I wish I could have a traditional family.

    I want to marry my boyfriend in future and have his kids but the fact he's already got kids from his past relationship kills me. I never know to follow my head or heart and stay with the man I love or leave him and find someone without kids. anyone else feel the same?
    lnicolem lnicolem 18-21, F 4 Responses Mar 16

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    My 16 year old stepdaughter is a night mare!

    She hates me and emotionally drains my family. She's lives with us ... I can barely take her rudeness.
    johanssh johanssh 41-45, F 1 Response Dec 7, 2014

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    From A Stepson: I'm So Sorry.

    My stepmom married my Dad when I was pretty young. My earliest memory of my stepmother was booby-trapping a door to make something fall on her head. I was a MEAN, spoiled little boy. When I was a teenager, I gave my stepmom attitude all the time. I was disrespectful and...
    mistercrayon mistercrayon 36-40 10 Responses Nov 21, 2011

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    K. So I just finished reading the

    “Step-Parent's Guide” to step parenting posted to this forum on June 12, 2014 by a step-kid. You can find it at EP Link Now, keep in mind that this step-kid has had 3 “not so great” step parents already. At any rate, this step-kid wanted to offer the perspective of the...
    KelleeDee KelleeDee 46-50, F 1 Response Nov 27, 2014

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    I need advice! My husband works from

    8am-4:30pm M-F and school from 5pm-10pm M-Th (all year, he takes courses every semester even in the summer now). He is also gone 1 weekend a month for drill. He has three children from a previous marriage (ages 9,8,3). I'm a sahm (only since the baby arrived, I was an accountant...
    Amnjourney Amnjourney 26-30, F 2 Responses Apr 25

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    "Do I Have To Call You Mom?"

    26 years ago that was the question my 9 year old stepson asked. My response.... "No, you don't have to call me mom - you can call me anything you like as long as it's respectful." Was I wise beyond my years back then? Perhaps, but I think it had more to do with the fact that I...
    StepCommunicator StepCommunicator 51-55, F Jul 31, 2013

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    The girls are 6 and 10

    and their Father is very laid back and doesn't set boundaries. It's so frustrating to be the bad guy all the time for the little stuff (bed time, schedules, showers) and then being dismissed when i voice my concerns on the big issues. (Internet safety/monitoring, one of the...
    shayrae585 shayrae585 26-30, F 2 Responses Dec 21, 2014

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    Open Letter To My Husband's Ex-You are a very

    cunning manipulator. You have told lies for 17 years in a childish attempt to hurt your ex but the ONLY person you have hurt was your OWN daughter. I am a mother also as you know and NEVER would I post my child’s picture and name, even a fake name(her true and recognized name...
    KwiteMama KwiteMama 36-40, F 1 Response May 2

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    Transgendergirl01 Transgendergirl01 13-15, M 1 Response 6 days ago

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    Young Soon-To-Be Stepmom

    Hey all! I am 22 years old, getting married to my partner who I have been with for two years and I'm going to be a stepmom. It is literally a situation that jumped out at us from nowhere. We had been contacted by his Ex recently after we got engaged and notified that he had a...
    cheazyniff339 cheazyniff339 22-25 2 Responses Nov 11, 2013

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    Please give me advise 🙈🙈 Hi there,

    I am a mother of two and stepmother of one I have a son 9yrs and a daughter 1, my step son is also 9yrs. I would love for there to be a place where we could go for advise being the step mum. It can be so difficult! In my situation, I don't have any problems with my step...
    mumsy3 mumsy3 26-30, F 2 Responses May 1

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