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I Am a Stepmother

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 2,052 People

    I am a stepmother to a young girl.

    She is a handful to say the least. Here is a little background to get you up to speed on why I am writing. My SD bio mother has always been in and out of the picture to say the least. When she was in it was demanding to talk to her daughter or yelling at my husband about all the...
    northernlightsalaska333 northernlightsalaska333 22-25, F 2 Responses Jan 9

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    Snapshot of a Stepmother

    I don't know any little girls who dream of becoming stepmothers.  I have regrets of my past but I still look forward to the future as hopefully as I can muster.  Being a stepmom for over 5 years has been both a thankless and awesome experience.  At...
    wickedstepmother wickedstepmother 26-30, F 32 Responses Apr 5, 2007

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    Unconditional Love

    My husband and I met back in 2002. He was currently recovering from a nearly lethal bout of Epstein Barr induced meningitis and encephalitis. He had met one of the girls I went to school w. really bad girl- promiscuous and a drug user. She leeched onto him and invaded his life...
    Safka9973 Safka9973 26-30, F 2 Responses Jun 5, 2013

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    And then there were three.

    Fast forward 3 years later, and after spending a horrific Christmas and New-Years with my over-protective husband and his coddled 9yr old daughter, I was ready to call it quits. No really – finish and done! No more bending over backwards, no more checking my tone of voice...
    BJewel3 BJewel3 36-40, F 3 Responses Mar 13

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    I've been married 7 months now

    and have a step son who is 6. My husbands asked if I loved his son. I said no. And told him to stop pressuring me. He will sometimes say "I love you son. Idk about Sally but I love you." Referring to me. Obviously Sally is not my real name. I just smile... Awkward lol I think...
    insanehair insanehair 31-35, F 4 Responses Mar 13

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    Boy am I tired of all of my SD drama.

    I recently came to my breaking point, after being taken for granted and disrespected for years. Things are now worse since she is a teen and thinks she knows everything. I finally told my husband that I absolutely will not parent his child. I don't want any responsibility and I...
    RoxTox RoxTox 31-35, F 3 Responses Feb 1

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    I Am A Mother.

    I am the non-biological mother of my 9yo son, Jacob. I am, technically, his stepmother. But when I look at him, I don't see 'stepkid'. I see my son. He has been in my life since he was 8 months old and when he said 'mummy' for the first time, he said it to me- copying his...
    KaemiRae KaemiRae 31-35, F Jul 14, 2013

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    Young Soon-To-Be Stepmom

    Hey all! I am 22 years old, getting married to my partner who I have been with for two years and I'm going to be a stepmom. It is literally a situation that jumped out at us from nowhere. We had been contacted by his Ex recently after we got engaged and notified that he had a...
    cheazyniff339 cheazyniff339 22-25 1 Response Nov 11, 2013

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    My fiancé is the primary custodian of his

    daughter Baylee. Her Mom lives one state over and is supposed to visit Baylee once a month and then has her 2 months of the summer, they trade holidays. It always seems that when Baylee comes home after being with her Mom she is a little terror. Shawn’s ex tends to give...
    RoosMom RoosMom 36-40, F 1 Response Aug 30

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    I am step mother to 4 kids my husband has from

    his previous marriage. I am struggling he keeps things from me to do with the kids, but expects me to be apart of their lives
    anniemct anniemct 31-35, F 1 Response Mar 28

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    I have an 11 year old step son,

    in addition to a 14 month old biological daughter. I'm one of the lucky ones. My husband has always given me the full authority of a parent, and has always backed me up, so I do not have to worry about my step son disrespecting me. His biological mother is completely out of the...
    Bluebutterflywings Bluebutterflywings 26-30, F Jun 15

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    I have a son (almost 12) ,

    a stepdaughter (almost 7) and a baby girl on the way. my son lives with my husband and I. We (unfortunately) only get my stepdaughter every other weekend. Now, I want to disclose that I have no substantial proof of the type of environment she is raised in outside of our home...
    stepmomstruggles stepmomstruggles 31-35, F 1 Response Aug 12

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    Things Have Changed!

    So a month or so ago,I wrote about my stepmother experience. After a little communication and me backing off a bit. I've found that the stepmother thing really isn't all that bad. At the end of the day,some kids just don't want another motherly figure nagging and telling them...
    Ttbaby23 Ttbaby23 31-35, F 1 Response Oct 28, 2013

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    A couple of months ago my longtime boyfriend

    and I moved in together. I have a 14yo son and he has a 6 soon to be 7 yo daughter. I never thought I would enjoy having a little girl so much! Don't get me wrong I love my son to pieces but the shopping and playing are so much more fun. The merging of households has been...
    RoosMom RoosMom 36-40, F 4 Responses Aug 28

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    I Have A Lot To Say...and People May Not Like It!!!!

    I love EP....I do, but then you run into some of the most down right mean people. I had I posted under the section some people just shouldn't have children... anyways I had posted a story about my experience. My step child was abused by her Mom very bad, that is why I come to EP...
    northernlightsalaska333 northernlightsalaska333 22-25, F 4 Responses Jun 19, 2012

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    Love Being a Stepmom

    Yes i do love being a step mom but it is not always easy and anyone who thinks it is is just foolish.  when I met my husband his two boys were very young so I guess that made it some what easier to become part of thier lives, but make no mistakes you are not thier real...
    denise6214 denise6214 41-45 3 Responses Oct 3, 2008

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    Being a step mum is hard

    and has split my marriage up
    jlt4 jlt4 46-50, F 1 Response Jun 4

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    Ma-bell Reaches Out

    Warning: Extreme Rage Release Area Grrr... my heart still hurts. Mommy finally called- it's only been, what? Six months since my babies last heard their bio-mother's voice? Why bother? Why even pick up the stupid cell phone that stays in your pocket every single day and call...
    sitizen sitizen 26-30 1 Response Dec 26, 2012

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    I am not married but me

    and my boyfriend have been living together for almost two years, his son who is 5 (we will call him Bob haha) has lived with us for a year now and his daughter who is 4 lives with her mom. I'm not sure if that really considers me to be a step mom but if you ask his son what i...
    newstepmom92 newstepmom92 22-25, F 1 Response May 11

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    Stepparenting is like working at a late-night

    convenience store...all of the responsibility and none of the authority. The role of the stepmother is the most difficult of all, because you can't ever just be. You're constantly being tested, by the children, the neighbors, your husband, the relatives, old friends who knew...
    Lostnalone22 Lostnalone22 31-35, F 7 Responses Dec 2, 2013

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    Young Stepmom

    Hi everyone! i am so glad to have found this forum! i feel very secluded in my new adventure as a young stepmother and have recently had mild anxiety about the whole idea. nobody i talk to can really relate and so i don't talk to anyone about it anymore. i hope this cyber...
    ladywulf ladywulf 22-25, F 7 Responses Aug 20, 2010

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    Should I Approach My SD???

    Today my 7 yr old SD and her mother dropped by my house without notification to pick up a pair of shoes. I heard knocking and the door bell and when I answered, my SD was standing there and told me what she came to get. I let her in, took her downstairs to get the shoes, forced a...
    BronzeMedal BronzeMedal 26-30 3 Responses Nov 21, 2013

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    I need help, I know I may sound selfish

    but please bear with me, I'm trying to get better. My husband cheated on me and his mistress got pregnant with his first child.. it's stuck a few nerves for me. I've always wanted to go through childbirth and it feels like she took a big experience from me, when I have my first...
    SilentRider SilentRider 18-21, F 3 Responses Aug 18

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    From A Stepson: I'm So Sorry.

    My stepmom married my Dad when I was pretty young. My earliest memory of my stepmother was booby-trapping a door to make something fall on her head. I was a MEAN, spoiled little boy. When I was a teenager, I gave my stepmom attitude all the time. I was disrespectful and...
    mistercrayon mistercrayon 36-40 10 Responses Nov 21, 2011

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    I Can't Watch My Stepdaughter Get Her Heart Broke Again By Her So Called Real Mother.

    When I met my husband he had a little girl who was only eighteen months at the time that was eight years ago.  She has always lived with us.  Her mother was a drug addict and a thief anything else she could do. She never had time for her daughter. Five years ago she went to...
    hinsonsgirl hinsonsgirl 26-30 3 Responses Mar 25, 2011

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    I have recently become step mum to a 12 year

    old girl. It seems that she was given free rein at her old house and I was on the receiving end of a lot of backtalk and attitude. Things are slowly improving but it is a lot of work.
    SarahTTG SarahTTG 36-40, F 3 Responses Feb 8

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    Vindictive Ex Wives And Ineffective Fathering

    I've posted this basically elsewhere, but I've come to the conclusion that the main problems are created when you have a vile, vindictive BM and a Father who does not expect respect and set boundaries. If the bio mum is normal, then a neutral tone, or even better, can be set...
    Kimski44 Kimski44 51-55, F 3 Responses Dec 2, 2013

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    In the beginning…..

    In the beginning there was a newly divorced woman who enjoyed the tranquil peace of her single life. Husband no. 1 was a real treat - Mr. Serial Cheater! Five years, seven mistresses and buckets full of tears later, I chose to end the drama. Like cutting of an abscessed arm...
    BJewel3 BJewel3 36-40, F 2 Responses Mar 13

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    "Need I remind you I am his MOTHER" -- A

    phrase that makes almost every stepmother grind her teeth. And so continues this warped power struggle. Personally, I have never felt in competition with my stepson's biological mother. But sometimes the things she throws my way knick a nerve. My fiancée has had primary...
    FindingHerWay22 FindingHerWay22 22-25, F 2 Responses Sep 3

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    It's been nearly a year (June 29th will mark

    the year date since our move to SF from OC) ... So much has changed. Being a step-mother is now a defining thing in my life, before it was simply an idea, a concept. My fiance would visit his daughter every other weekend, and since I worked most weekends, I barely got to visit...
    thejoneses thejoneses 22-25, F May 28

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    I've been married for 10 years

    and have been a step parent for 10 years. Son is now 13 and daughter 11. We have a 7 yr old together. The problem started two yrs ago when the bm of the daughter moved back to town. I think it's great that she is finally starting to be here for her but now everything is upside...
    teri75 teri75 36-40, F 3 Responses Apr 25

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    Childless Step-Mum With Few Supportive Friends

    I am 30, childless and am a step-mum to my partners 3 children by 2 wives. He is 12 years older and we have been together for 18 months and living together for a year - we have the children every other/ three out of four weekends. I find myself sometimes happy with the situation...
    Lizzie83 Lizzie83 31-35, F 1 Response Nov 22, 2013

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    I have been a step mom to two boys

    for the past four years. My hubby is great provider but not so good at disciplining the kids. I care about the boys so constantly worry about their schoolwork and other things. All their responsibility is on me even though hubby had said we will share the load of raising them. I...
    notmomyet notmomyet 31-35, F 2 Responses Apr 23

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    "Do I Have To Call You Mom?"

    26 years ago that was the question my 9 year old stepson asked. My response.... "No, you don't have to call me mom - you can call me anything you like as long as it's respectful." Was I wise beyond my years back then? Perhaps, but I think it had more to do with the fact that I...
    StepCommunicator StepCommunicator 51-55, F Jul 31, 2013

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    Through Loss And Pain Comes Stepmotherhood

     I know this is long but I need some advice. My story starts out with me, a young single mom and two time cancer survivor.  I eventually met my knight in shining armor in a man named Paul.  A sweet, giving man who would step parent my dear son and give me another...
    stepcid stepcid 36-40, F 1 Response Jan 19, 2010

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    I'm 24 and married to a wonderful hubby.

    He's much older than I am so I'm also stepmother of his 3 children. Two girls 10 and 13 and a boy 11 who are wonderful but can be a handful :-) We have been a family for almost 2 years so I'm still learning about being a parent and fitting-in with them all. I know I can...
    Rachelly3 Rachelly3 22-25, F 19 Responses Jul 31

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    Heartbroken

    I have been in the childrens life for about 10 years now. I don't think I could have loved them more if they had been my own. But I find that no matter what I have done for my stepdaughter I will always be the evil one. And I am heart broken, and running on empty
    empty empty 51-55, F 7 Responses Nov 13, 2007

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    I have always wanted to be a stepmother

    and a mom to grown up kids.. My partner has teenage kids and his eldest is just nearby. I was scared of how she will react to my relationship with his dad before so I tried to avoid her on so many ocassions.. But now that we know each other everything is almost perfect.. I will...
    SugarK SugarK 31-35, F Aug 5

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    I have two stepsons, 12 & 14.

    I love them with all my heart but Needless to say they are a handful. They live with their mother like ten minutes away. We get them twice a week and every other weekend, they are sucking at school and have lied straight to our faces! They "try" to follow our house rules, but...
    OldschoolMeximom OldschoolMeximom 26-30, F 1 Response Jan 27

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    Some Good Changes

    It's been a long time since my last post, but in the last 4 months I've made some good changes in my blended family and role as SM. I felt this past summer was terrible and 3 things happened that led me to really stand up for myself. First, my family attended my SD's birthday...
    BronzeMedal BronzeMedal 26-30 1 Response Oct 29, 2013

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    Im a step mom to a 5 year old girl,

    whom I love like she my own. Even though her bm dont want me to have anything to do with her. How do I support my sd with out putting her in a place where she has to pick between me and her bio mom.
    mamajenn mamajenn 26-30, F 1 Response Mar 9

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    Both Mom & Stepmom

    I just don't understand some women. I treat my stepson just as I do my girls. When people ask home many kids do I have, I answer "3". I don't say "2 and a step", but some do.I have dealt with my oldest mom's stepmom for years and thought a lot of the issues where because she...
    DemonKitty DemonKitty 26-30, F 1 Response Jan 16, 2012

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    Third Marriage, No Kids of My Own

    I married for the third time in my life in 2005 to a widower with two boys. I had never wanted kids of my own, but knew if I ever had any, I'd want boys. I had been married twice before and had no idea I would walk down the aisle again until I met Randy. His boys are very good...
    missmollyk missmollyk 36-40, F 5 Responses Feb 18, 2008

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    Teenage Stepdaughter Tried To Break Up My Marriage To Her Father

    I met my husband 5 years ago we have been married for 3 years he came with baggage from his past as I did also, I have 2 children from my previouse marriage, and have done my upmost for my children to accept him as a stepdad, they love and respect him more than their own dad, who...
    Imamum2 Imamum2 41-45 20 Responses Sep 10, 2010

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    An Open Heart

    My husband and I married in 2010. He had his first daughter from a previous relationship in 2008. The mother was very vindictive and said that if he had another woman in his life that he was not allowed to see his daughter. I had been in his life since before she was born, and...
    Proudmommy91827 Proudmommy91827 22-25, F 1 Response Nov 2, 2013

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    Any Good Stories?

    I am currently in a position where my husband's daughter of six years may be coming to live with us. We have no children of our own, the daughter is coming to us from a neglectful situation (her biological mother is now in jail), and I care about her very much. However...
    siren1971 siren1971 36-40, F 83 Responses Jan 17, 2008

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    I need advice. I have been married 5 months.

    I really love my husband, but am wondering if I am alone in the way that I feel. I have 2 children, a boy and a girl, and my husband has 2 girls. When we were dating, he saw his girls on the normal weds and every other weekend. Since we've been married, it seems like he has...
    kellers1551 kellers1551 36-40, F 2 Responses Jan 21

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    Related Experiences

    I don't have a stepmother... I have a stepmonster.
    picses2222 picses2222 13-15, F Sep 13

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    My step mom is a horrible person i live with her and my dad she is like OBSESSED with my dad he is not aloud to do any thing now my family is confused because when he met her she...
    JaidaDoll JaidaDoll 13-15, F Sep 8

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    I've been estranged from my father 8 of the past 10 years. My parents divorced before my first birthday and my mother raised my older sister and I. When I was 3 my father...
    SomedayHeWillBeMine SomedayHeWillBeMine 22-25, F Aug 23

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    I got whopped with the belt for what I did in school. I remember one time I forged my dads signature on a detention slip he had to sign and the Assistant Principal called my...
    Marisacruz20 Marisacruz20 18-21, F 7 Responses Sep 8

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    I've lived with my step-mother, father, and brother for most of my life. Unfortunately my father worked a lot and was hardly ever home. This left my step mother to verbally and...
    americanhoney91 americanhoney91 22-25, F 1 Response 6 days ago

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    A few years back i woke up in the middle of the night (i have no idea what time it was, because at the time i had no clock in my room). Anyways. I rolled over for some reason and...
    azol1nk azol1nk 18-21, M 1 Response Aug 30