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I Am a Suicide Survivor

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 932 People

    Drowning Even In My Dreams

    I don't know what to do with my life anymore. I am such a disaster! I am a ticking time bomb with no idea what will set me off. I barely sleep anymore, when no one is around I cry all the time, at the silliest things. I am trying to let people know that I am not doing well, I...
    ShallowEndings ShallowEndings 18-21, F 1 Response Oct 29, 2013

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    http://www.youtube.com/watch?

    v=nSCxTaKypaQ this movie is French but i really like it, it's called Suicide Room. It touched me deeply o:
    cindykaatt cindykaatt 13-15, F 1 Response Apr 7

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    I have big thick scars up my arms

    and across my wrists from suicide attempts. I wanted to end the pain id been in for so long. It took me until my 4th attempt, until my friend had to break into my bathroom at 1am and stop me from bleeding, looking into his eyes and seeing the panic and desperation in them made...
    ameliap ameliap 16-17, F 6 Responses Dec 19, 2013

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    3 Years And It Still Hurts

    I lost my uncle to suicide 3 years ago. I remember that day so well. I came home to visit my mom and the phone rang it was my Oma calling to say my Uncle wasnt at home and left a note. I remember that sharp intake of breath my Mom had and said I'll be right there. I remember...
    blanca81 blanca81 26-30, F Apr 21, 2012

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    I am a suicide survivor.

    September 9th 2011 I had a serious suicide attempt on a bridge. I landed 53 feet. I am now able to walk, but there's a lot I will never be able to do again :( I SOOO wish I could go back in time and never have had that day happen. But then again, it could have ended worse. I...
    ElizabethC1983 ElizabethC1983 31-35, F 3 Responses Feb 15

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    Reflection Reflecting.

    I don't know where to start expect the fact that I know that I am trapped in my own suicidal mind.Many times I would face the mirror and not know who is the reflection reflecting back at me.I would look at my family and at times to me they seem as strangers so I keep my distants...
    DevilsSinner666 DevilsSinner666 26-30, F 1 Response Jul 7, 2013

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    On the 26th of November I attempted suicide by

    overdose. This was the 3rd time I attempted it. After staying in the Hospital for a few days and having the Crisis Team follow my every move, my body eventually recovered. My roommate contacted a friend to come with her to the hospital because you need two people to identify...
    StartingOverAgain20 StartingOverAgain20 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 22, 2013

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    Just Once (and Never Again!)

    It was precipitated by bullying (I have posted it under another group). I've had depression from about age 12 to 20, but it went away as the problems in my life also lessened. When I was assigned an extremely sociopathic supervisor during my internship earlier this year...
    klaatu888 klaatu888 26-30, F 4 Responses Oct 30, 2012

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    I have attempted suicide several times.

    The most recent was in October 2013. I took 20 panadols and 15 laxatives before bed and I woke up with horrible pains. I had to go to hospital again.
    ilytatelangdon ilytatelangdon 16-17, F Jan 21

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    I overdosed but sadly it was on vitamins.

    After I woke up, I checked the container and it said vitamin c
    XDeathTheKidx XDeathTheKidx 13-15, M 3 Responses Feb 1

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    In late feb this year I tried to overdose on

    some pills I had in my room and I was so sick of the way my life was heading and I just gave up. I gave up on trying to find the source of my problems and overcoming them. It was such a challenge to even wrap my head around the thought of making a change in my life. So I...
    sourwatermelon sourwatermelon 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 10

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    I'Ll Never Forget It

    It was a day like any other but still something was wrong. I knew right from the moment I woke up that I wasn't going to school today. I have had a bad conversation with my psychologist the day before, my mom was with me. It was about my phobia of shopping by myself. I felt...
    Deepess Deepess 18-21, F Nov 5, 2013

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    4 Attempts In Less Than A Year

    The first time i tried to kill myself, it failed horribly. It was january of my freshman year and i didnt know who i was anymore. it was like i was wearing a mask to make it seem as though i was this happy-honor-student-loving-life-teen age girl that my parents, friends and...
    strugglingteen strugglingteen 16-17, F 5 Responses Jun 29, 2012

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    It's been 24 years since my attempted suicide.

    I will admit that there are times that the depression hits me but I know how to work through it and suicide isn't an option anymore. I can always find a reason to keep living.
    bzylady bzylady 36-40, F 1 Response Mar 6

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    hi everybody i started a new year i'm going to

    make it a good year i'm tried of being depressed this year is going to be great but i haven't start off to great i started to cut again. it makes me sad to know I've lost all my progress.
    madhattergirl41 madhattergirl41 16-17, F 2 Responses Jan 25

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    I have tried to kill myself many times

    and I self harm a lot. I want to still kill myself sometimes because i don't want to live I have stuff to look forward to but I just don't want to be alive right now. I want to just die and be a "ghost" for a day to see how many people actually care. Hear what people say about...
    ashleymac96 ashleymac96 16-17, F 1 Response Apr 2

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    I just want to die...

    I don't feel like trying anymore. ):
    TheWaySheFeels3 TheWaySheFeels3 18-21, F 4 Responses Jan 24

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    It Was A Stupid Mistake...

    It was 2 weeks before my 17th birthday. It was October, 2011, 5 monthes after I was in a traumatic event in may 2011. I was Kiddnapped and hurt really bad.. In ways I can't explain on the Internet cause I just can't, cause if I did then it would be always on here so more and more...
    itsjustbrit itsjustbrit 18-21, F 4 Responses Nov 11, 2013

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    I guess the attempts were sort of half-assed,

    but I've attempted 3 times. Twice by slashing my wrists and once with pills. Obviously, they didn't work. I've already planned out my attempt for tomorrow night. I'm slashing from m mid-forearm to my wrist on both arms. I'll be the only one home for sure. I don't have very many...
    BloodintheWater BloodintheWater 13-15, M 1 Response Mar 13

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    I just talked my boyfriend out of suicide I

    hope. He said he took the rope off. And he promised me he will see me again. Then he said he had to go. And I had to trust him. </3 I hope he's okay.
    Daylejess Daylejess 13-15, F 1 Response Mar 30

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    A long time ago, I tried to commit suicide

    about five times. I was depressed, I felt like no one cared, and I was all alone. I still have the scars of my past. Both visual and non visual. I learned that death isn't something that you should take on yourself because everyone has purpose. Life sucks sometimes, but we gotta...
    halieghnicole halieghnicole 16-17, F Apr 2

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    Why Am I Still Here I have tried to kill myself

    13 times. And yet here I am. I just end up back in the ER every time. Is it fate or just my soul being to much of a coward to die. I have no reason to live so why am I still here!?
    Kevasaur Kevasaur 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 1

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    I've tried to commit two times now

    and it still hadn't worked. I want to SO bad, but I'm too much of a coward :( I don't even know. My life is a mess :(
    sarahjade123 sarahjade123 13-15, F 2 Responses Mar 27

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    I tried to kill myself a week ago by jumping

    off a 4 floor building. Some how I survived.I was conscious throughout the whole thing. Sorry if my spelling is sloppy. My hands are in cast so it's hard to type. And I'm tried. I don't want you guys thinking I'm dead. At least not yet.
    sammyfallback sammyfallback 18-21, F 3 Responses Mar 10

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    When I was 12 years old I tried to kill myself

    three times and almost died 2 out of the three times. When I was 13 I tried to kill myself multiple times and loss count. I am now 14 and only a month ago I was hospitalized for suicide attempt. I still have my everyday struggles but I want you all to know that it does get...
    allytoledo allytoledo 13-15, F 2 Responses Mar 21

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    I've attempted 8 times

    and backed out of an attempt recently the other day, thanks to a few people on this website and my best friend. I am working on everything in order to make life better for myself and hopefully I'll be okay.
    katielandancer katielandancer 16-17, F 3 Responses Jan 3

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    There Can Be Joy Afterwards

    A combination of rapid reduction in testosterone (went into male menopause) and the conflicts and stresses of everyday life in the rat race, I overdosed on  anti-anxiety and blood pressure medication. I was actually declared dead and my wife signed over my organs for transplant...
    ankon ankon 51-55, M Apr 26, 2012

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    Christmas always brings up

    that time for me of remembrance. My story is a long one but it is my story. For all of you I will make this short and sweet the best I can. I met a man who was the man of my dreams. He was older, to me that was a big, big well turn on to me, I loved older men. Anyways, he was in...
    northernlightsalaska333 northernlightsalaska333 22-25, F 2 Responses Dec 22, 2013

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    All Three Times I Survived And I Really Think Someone Was Watching Over Me.

    The first time I attempted suicide I was 16 and my dad threw me out I was living with an abusive boyfriend my childhood was fkd up and I had a drinking problem and was on meds for bi polar and schizophrenia and took a handful of tranquilizer s and some vodka and made friends...
    twisted28 twisted28 26-30, F 1 Response Oct 10, 2013

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    Im in the hospital right now.

    I cut three arteries. I should be dead. I have a strangers blood in my veins and the doctors say I was 10 minutes from death. Im sick of being here! IM SICK OF BEING ALIVE! I cant even die right. What am I doing here.
    Kevasaur Kevasaur 18-21, F 6 Responses Feb 4

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    Strive. Good & Bad In Life.

    PLEASE READ ALL THRU> In May...my fiancee committed suicide.Even typing or saying the word suicide is hard. I think most of us in life do have the thought cross our minds...but dont fully consume what such an act can do. My fiancee was the biggest gentlemen and would help anyone...
    BabydollT BabydollT 26-30, F 10 Responses Sep 23, 2012

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    **If You Get Triggered To Hurt Yourself Easily Please Do Not Read This**

    So a couple nights ago, everyone that I talk to was asleep and it was 3am, I started to cry. It got worse and worse. All I could think about was everything I've ever done wrong to upset people. I happened to glance across my room to my dresser and there was my friends pocket...
    JustCallMeKitty JustCallMeKitty 18-21, F 4 Responses Aug 8, 2013

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    Hey I know people will not believe me.

    I am 14, my name is Katt. I have been suicidal since I was 10, i have recently quit, but i still have thoughts of cutting and suicide. is it normal? i dont know, but I figure i can find other people here that understand what im going through. i have a sister who is 9 with the...
    kraziekatt kraziekatt 13-15, F 2 Responses Jan 30

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    When I was 13 I lost my parents to a fire.

    So I stabbed myself in the belly button. Suicide is something that you must be certain to do so I chose the hardest way to kill myself. I had stuck the knife pointing upwards on my bed where my stomach would be. I stood at the other end of the bed and fell on it. It only went in...
    mikeybbb mikeybbb 18-21, M 2 Responses Dec 26, 2013

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    I just can't take it anymore.

    .......three wives ....kids....houses ,cars......none of that bothered me but when Cathy would not let me back in...( my fault ) I can't do it anymore...tried o slit my own throat but I think I am going the anti freeze route...a gallan should do it and the DNR band on my wrist...
    xeddie xeddie 51-55, M Feb 27

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    I am not the brightest guy

    when it comes to my life. I have tries to take my life over 40 times but for some resion God does not allow me to die
    FaithfullDB FaithfullDB 16-17, M 2 Responses Feb 3

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    Scared

    Recently I have had a failed suicide attempt and I am so grateful that I survived it was very painful I don't remember much. The days following I was severally depressed, I was trying to throw up nothing would come out I knew that if I had gone to sleep that I would not wake up...
    cooperstreet1995 cooperstreet1995 22-25 Oct 7, 2013

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    Twice In 5 Months

    The first time I tried to take my life was odd. i just shut down and got on a plane which i find terrifying, because i did not and do not want to die. my whole life had been leading up to my attempt, apparently... but it was the tiniest thing that set me off. it was a normal...
    Serelle Serelle 18-21, F 1 Response Oct 11, 2013

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    Been a few years now,

    I still think about it a lot, but I promised my friend I wouldent do anything
    Amandakellyxoxo Amandakellyxoxo 18-21, F Mar 6

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    My Story: Four Attempts

    I was raised to be an overachiever which made me stressed out by the time I was 8. By the time I was 11 I developed serious clinical depression. It made all my childish views of things that made the world a decent place all crumble down until all I had was this sadness and hatred...
    ingenuinesmiles ingenuinesmiles 16-17, F 1 Response Nov 3, 2013

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    A long story but I lost it

    after a very stressful time in my life and ran into the back of a semi on the highway. Almost died but survived and will suffer with the resulting damage to my body for the rest of my life. That was four years ago.
    jpkparker jpkparker 51-55, M 2 Responses Mar 15

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    5150.

    August 28 2012. Dear me, It's been a while since that horrible day. The day that changed who you were forever. Made you a bitter, hateful, vunerable human being. You've gone through a lot of traumatic experiences, but did it really have to lead up to...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Jun 9, 2013

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    All right then. If I'm alive there's clearly

    still something left for me to do. I don't know what it is or how I'm going to do it given that every bone in my lower body are broken and my intestines were ejected from my body, my lungs collapsed, my head fractured and my arms broken. There must be something left though...
    sammyfallback sammyfallback 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 18

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    My boyfriend died tragically on December 17th

    2013. I didn't know how to go on living after that. I did not want to live without him. He was my soulmate. We were together for an 5 years all together. He was my rock. While I have attempted suicide several times since the age 10. These times before I think I was looking for...
    pinkmeyer15 pinkmeyer15 22-25, F 1 Response Mar 16

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    I Recovered From Suicde Thoughts Many Times,and a Survivor,my Ex Took His Life In 2006

    As growing up i was suicidal becuz of being abused i over come and lived many times with attempts by the grace of god Then as i was 20 almost 21 my ex lane took his life to a shot to the head was rough but i over came,i help others and saved 2 lives since then my exes...
    MeemsMimi MeemsMimi 22-25, F Aug 21, 2009

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    Drowning In My Past

    Two summers ago, my parents had gone away for three weeks for vacation. I had thrown a party with close friends. Drinking and having a good time, i soon became drinking to hide away my pain over the past couple of months.. I became hysterical when each drink was for all the hurt...
    kimberleenicole kimberleenicole 18-21, F Oct 30, 2013

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    ive attempted to many times to remember i lost

    count in the mental hospital as i tried repeaedly everyday more or less and well im a survivor that doesnt want to survive i wouldnt call what im doing surviving id say im in hell on earth
    maylane maylane 22-25, F 2 Responses Jan 21

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    Its has been a little over two years

    since the first "attempt" (age 14). When I look back, I realize that I had so many expectations for myself now (age 16). I thought that i would either be 110% recovered from everything and living the teenage life style of friends and good times, Or that I would be 6 feet under...
    violinstar10 violinstar10 16-17, F 2 Responses Mar 14

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    Honestly, i look back to the day i tried.

    I can't believe i wanted to take my life. Also that no one noticed me struggling. It all starts with long sleeves, bruises, scars, then my mind and body gave up. I am a suicide survivor. Yes, i still have some thoughts about it every now and then. But I'm picking myself...
    LolaBones LolaBones 16-17, F Feb 9

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    The thoughts started

    when I was just 13 years old. I didn't know why or where they came from, but I knew I felt sad and that mainly, I just craved this want for attention. I wanted people to care for me in a sense that it was all about me. Not anyone else. It wasn't about them, or their friends...
    PitchDaffy PitchDaffy 22-25, F Apr 10

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    Unfortunately I can't

    even do that right.
    xoMegan xoMegan 18-21, F 7 Responses 2 days ago

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    But Now I Want To Live

    By the time I was 24 years old, I long ago passed that line between social drinking and alcoholism but prided myself that relatives who actually bet money I wouldn't even live to see 24 lost. It was little comfort, though. By the time I was pushed into that desperate decision to...
    cmmacneil cmmacneil 51-55, M 9 Responses May 24, 2012

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    I had an office on the 8th floor with a window

    that opened. I would sit there for hours, thinking that the window was calling me. Get up on the counter, it would say. Open me. Slide on out. It'll all be over in seconds. Obviously, I didn't. But I wonder what it is about various methods of suicide that attract us. Why jump...
    wundayatta wundayatta 56-60, M 10 Responses Feb 19

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    I Would Have Done It

    I didn't have the balls. But I tried, maybe that's not accurate, I still try. Has anyone ever contemplated why we look both ways before we cross the street? I don't do that anymore. We do it invade we may be able to change whatever fate we have. I know we can't. I tried to...
    Canadianwithirish Canadianwithirish 16-17, F Jun 6, 2012

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    Related Experiences

    April 27th 2013, my best friend and unbiological brother Mark stepped onto the train tracks and killed himself. Flat out. No details, no nothing. I take almost full responsibility...
    XrealityXisXprisonX XrealityXisXprisonX 13-15, F 2 Responses a week ago

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    I didn't actually attempt. There is no attempting with guns, not really. I sat down and wrote my note. It was sweet, apologetic, to the point. I told everyone I was sorry for...
    TryingFailing TryingFailing 16-17, M 2 Responses Mar 27

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    So I attempted suicide yesterday. It was scary. It didn't work. I took a bunch of sleeping pills and took a nap on the train tracks. Then I tried poisoning myself after waking up...