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I Am a Suicide Survivor

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,592 People

    Strive. Good & Bad In Life.

    PLEASE READ ALL THRU> In May...my fiancee committed suicide.Even typing or saying the word suicide is hard. I think most of us in life do have the thought cross our minds...but dont fully consume what such an act can do. My fiancee was the biggest gentlemen and would help anyone...
    BabydollT BabydollT 26-30, F 10 Responses Sep 23, 2012

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    The only thing that keeps me alive is my nephew

    and nieces. I'm not even sure if it's going to keep working..
    Moweb95 Moweb95 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 14

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    I wouldn't say I'm proud of this,

    failing something so easy, and living with the guilt of even trying.
    ConfusedxAwkward ConfusedxAwkward 13-15, F 2 Responses May 14, 2014

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    Attempted it 3 times,

    still wonder why it never works. If there was a way I would try again, I strongly believe that I'm not really needed in this world.
    PriscilaG PriscilaG 13-15, F 2 Responses 5 days ago

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    My teen daughter committed suicide last year,

    and I wrote a book that's being published in 2015 about it : "Once The Storm Is Over: From Grieving To Healing After The Suicide of My Daughter." I'd like to hear from people dealing with depression and thoughts of suicide, and also people who have lost someone because of...
    ninabingham ninabingham 51-55, F 4 Responses Aug 29, 2014

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    I Recovered From Suicde Thoughts Many Times,and a Survivor,my Ex Took His Life In 2006

    As growing up i was suicidal becuz of being abused i over come and lived many times with attempts by the grace of god Then as i was 20 almost 21 my ex lane took his life to a shot to the head was rough but i over came,i help others and saved 2 lives since then my exes...
    MeemsMimi MeemsMimi 22-25, F Aug 21, 2009

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    I've attempted 8 times

    and backed out of an attempt recently the other day, thanks to a few people on this website and my best friend. I am working on everything in order to make life better for myself and hopefully I'll be okay.
    katielandancer katielandancer 16-17, F 4 Responses Jan 3, 2014

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    I was 12. Painfully shy,

    bullied at school,and the unfortunate child of indulgent yet narcissistic parents. Something sent me over the edge. Maybe I anticipated less than perfect Marks and feared punishment over it. For whatever reason I came home and took every pill I could find in the house and I do...
    Joha0505 Joha0505 18-21, F Aug 24, 2014

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    5150.

    August 28 2012. Dear me, It's been a while since that horrible day. The day that changed who you were forever. Made you a bitter, hateful, vunerable human being. You've gone through a lot of traumatic experiences, but did it really have to lead up to...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Jun 9, 2013

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    My Story: Four Attempts

    I was raised to be an overachiever which made me stressed out by the time I was 8. By the time I was 11 I developed serious clinical depression. It made all my childish views of things that made the world a decent place all crumble down until all I had was this sadness and hatred...
    ingenuinesmiles ingenuinesmiles 18-21, F 2 Responses Nov 3, 2013

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    my first suicide was my worst,

    I was 14. I was staying the night at my friends house with 4 other people. Every single one of them knew I was suicidal and had several bottles of pills with me. They did nothing. it was about 8am when everyone fell asleep. I picked a bottle that had a lot of small pills in it...
    theperksofbeinghayden theperksofbeinghayden 16-17, T 1 Response Oct 20, 2014

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    last night was the worst suicide attempt cuz I

    held my knife to my throat until I calmed down
    UKbabyboi UKbabyboi 13-15 Mar 9

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    When I was 19 I was going through the most

    traumatic time of my life, I was dumped for someone else, I was kicked out of home, I was involved in a life of crime, I felt like there was no room for love in my life, hate took over. I was battling speed, cocaine and heroin addiction (non I.v.) one week I felt like I crossed...
    WokenandOpen WokenandOpen 31-35, M 3 Responses Jan 18

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    When I was 13 I lost my parents to a fire.

    So I stabbed myself in the belly button. Suicide is something that you must be certain to do so I chose the hardest way to kill myself. I had stuck the knife pointing upwards on my bed where my stomach would be. I stood at the other end of the bed and fell on it. It only went in...
    mikeybbb mikeybbb 18-21, M 2 Responses Dec 26, 2013

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    I am a suicide survivor.

    September 9th 2011 I had a serious suicide attempt on a bridge. I landed 53 feet. I am now able to walk, but there's a lot I will never be able to do again :( I SOOO wish I could go back in time and never have had that day happen. But then again, it could have ended worse. I...
    ElizabethC1983 ElizabethC1983 31-35, F 2 Responses Feb 15, 2014

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    Since EP keeps telling me

    that I'm violating one of the rules ( which I wasn't ) and no matter how much material I had removed to clear this up, I might as well just write something else, rather than my experience. Yes, I did try it once and it wasn't easy. The consequences where devastating. I think...
    Euusio Euusio 26-30, F May 12, 2014

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    With you gone, there's no one

    who can save me next time I want to attempt
    MrCutBleedSmile MrCutBleedSmile 18-21, M 1 Response Jan 11

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    3 months ago was my most recent suicide attempt,

    not my first and probably not my last. I often wonder if I'm made for this world and when will I finally make it through to the other side.
    onlymetoday onlymetoday 31-35, F 2 Responses Oct 21, 2014

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    No plan, no future, stuck on this place,

    no where to run, no shelter.... Thats how i feel that night, My ld gf Lie to me for 8 months, And it was more that i could resist, she never loved me. I lost so much for her, i did everithing that i could for her.... All for a Lie. All My hope was on that relationship, when i...
    Mysorrow Mysorrow 18-21, M 2 Responses Mar 1

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    A couple months back I tried to commit suicide

    by overdose on Fioricet. I didn't take enough and blacked out for a few hours, was passed out for I don't know how long, and went to go have dinner with my family.
    MaddiElise MaddiElise 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 8, 2014

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    A long time ago, I tried to commit suicide

    about five times. I was depressed, I felt like no one cared, and I was all alone. I still have the scars of my past. Both visual and non visual. I learned that death isn't something that you should take on yourself because everyone has purpose. Life sucks sometimes, but we gotta...
    halieghnicole halieghnicole 16-17, F Apr 2, 2014

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    So....three attempts,

    all failed (obviously). I tried to make them look like accidents, which REALLY limits the options. For ages, I've been suicidal (first attempt aged 13, now 20). I used to have good days, for a while I even wouldn't think about suicide for weeks at a time, so I thought I was...
    justnobody1272 justnobody1272 18-21, F 1 Response Oct 28, 2014

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    31 years today my Dale took his life to find

    peace. I was thinking this morning about what I was doing that day - I can remember so much, and then almost nothing. Dale and I were affectionate, and so I have no regret about that. I tried to help him, but resources back then were very limited - knowledge and acceptance of...
    kitty1958 kitty1958 56-60, F 1 Response Nov 7, 2014

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    If you can stop looking at me like I'm wounded,

    then maybe I can stop acting like it. Then maybe, just maybe, I have a shot at being happy.
    MrCutBleedSmile MrCutBleedSmile 18-21, M 1 Response Mar 9

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    Honestly, i look back to the day i tried.

    I can't believe i wanted to take my life. Also that no one noticed me struggling. It all starts with long sleeves, bruises, scars, then my mind and body gave up. I am a suicide survivor. Yes, i still have some thoughts about it every now and then. But I'm picking myself...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Feb 9, 2014

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    I might not be ashamed of the four visible

    scars on my wrists, but I'm even more ashamed of my attempt at suicide. I keep looking at these suicide survivor stories and I feel sad. I think of the world we live in now....and it makes me want to change it. But really? I'm just a girl who lives in Alaska. Not much special...
    MyNameMeansLight MyNameMeansLight 16-17, F 1 Response Jun 11, 2014

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    Not very happy about surviving,

    but thinking about my parents upset faces in the hospital and after discovering the cuts on various occasions, I think again. But I wonder for how long I can hold on to those thoughts? Especially since I have no friends or any social life. What's the point of living? Parents won...
    Lonelyndepressedgirl Lonelyndepressedgirl 18-21, F 3 Responses Aug 6, 2014

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    I have cut my arm in a bath tub jumped off the

    top of my house and tried hanging myself all three attempts failed and i will never try again
    Kitry Kitry 13-15, F 1 Response Oct 21, 2014

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    I'm sorry no joke but is this supposed to mean

    you committed suicide but you survived? wouldn't this just mean you attempted to do it but failed? (which is a did thing you did not do it)
    Nicole0228 Nicole0228 18-21, F 3 Responses Mar 2

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    yet another night with my knife up to my throat

    thanks to my brother the psychological murderer
    UKbabyboi UKbabyboi 13-15 1 Response Mar 14

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    I'm going to have to be the one to say this,

    aren't I? Suicide, by definition, means taking your own life. Survival generally involves being alive. So... I'm going to go out on this limb here and say that most people in this group are still alive, or at least were alive when they posted here. I'm a grammar Nazi, and...
    adianoeta adianoeta 26-30, F 2 Responses Oct 21, 2014

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    It Was A Stupid Mistake...

    It was 2 weeks before my 17th birthday. It was October, 2011, 5 monthes after I was in a traumatic event in may 2011. I was Kiddnapped and hurt really bad.. In ways I can't explain on the Internet cause I just can't, cause if I did then it would be always on here so more and more...
    itsjustbrit itsjustbrit 18-21, F 4 Responses Nov 11, 2013

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    5 years ago I attempted to take my life.

    ..I had enough of the bullying and the words and lost people on my life...then an elderly lady came to me and convinced me to not go through with it...I still don't know who she is to this day but she is the reason I am a believer in God now:) she was an incredible lady and I am...
    FriendlyCanadian321 FriendlyCanadian321 18-21, F 4 Responses Jun 23, 2014

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    I feel like a completely failure

    and a hipocyrte to everyone who I tell "it'll get better" too. I promise you it will get better, but it's so much harder for me to believe that myself
    slizzer slizzer 16-17, F 1 Response Apr 23, 2014

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    When I was 16, a lot of changes happened in my

    life. I spent a lot of time wrestling with my own mind and identity, had an unpleasant and awkward coming out experience, and no friends to turn to. I took a handgun that one of my brothers owned, sat on the foot of my bed, checked the clip (9mm hollow points), chambered a...
    Blithwulf Blithwulf 36-40, M Oct 21, 2014

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    ever since I turned 14 my life feels like I'm

    on a downward spiral because of suicide. I remember my first suicide attempt was really stupid. I overdosed and didn't die I felt really bad.fast forward to today.a couple days ago I was sitting a top a bridge ready to jump but I didn't. ended up at the er which I hate.they did...
    Passionfruit3 Passionfruit3 22-25, F Oct 20, 2014

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    I have big thick scars up my arms

    and across my wrists from suicide attempts. I wanted to end the pain id been in for so long. It took me until my 4th attempt, until my friend had to break into my bathroom at 1am and stop me from bleeding, looking into his eyes and seeing the panic and desperation in them made...
    ameliap ameliap 18-21, F 5 Responses Dec 19, 2013

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    When I was around 19 I was on the college I get

    on a really bad depression since I didn't have money for assist to a doctor and my mom is kind of a ***** she was always trying to control my life and make my life in her way the pain is awful so I decide to hang my self from a ceiling fan with a leather belt I was able to do it...
    forsa85 forsa85 26-30, M 1 Response Nov 7, 2014

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    I had an office on the 8th floor with a window

    that opened. I would sit there for hours, thinking that the window was calling me. Get up on the counter, it would say. Open me. Slide on out. It'll all be over in seconds. Obviously, I didn't. But I wonder what it is about various methods of suicide that attract us. Why jump...
    wundayatta wundayatta 56-60, M 7 Responses Feb 19, 2014

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    June 3rd. The day I found out my girlfriend

    died in the hospital of a heart attack due to ODing 2 days prior. She may have only been a high school girlfriend, but I still loved her.
    rottsimba rottsimba 18-21, F 1 Response Oct 21, 2014

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    wtfdaysi wtfdaysi 18-21, F 3 Responses Mar 6

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    I attempted to kill myself at 15 due to

    enduring years of sexual abuse from my step father and my mother choosing to believe him over me. I still struggle with PTSD from the abuse and I'm sure the suicide attempt doesn't help but I am stronger because I have realized I am not better off dead. It's no use taking the...
    Mmn1229 Mmn1229 22-25, F 2 Responses Jun 16, 2014

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    I tried to kill myself last December on my

    boyfriend's birthday. I was hospitalized for 3 days and almost died. I haven't talked to anyone about it in detail since then. Anytime its brought up to the people close to me, they look uncomfortable and change the submit. I need to talk to someone. Why is it such taboo? I...
    papergirl15 papergirl15 26-30, F 4 Responses Nov 5, 2014

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    By the time I was 24 years old,

    I long ago passed that line between social drinking and alcoholism and, in that nebulous alcoholic fog and exaggerated egoism, smirked at relatives who actually lost money to each other on bets that I wouldn't live that long. That smugness was of no comfort when I was made a...
    cmmacneil cmmacneil 41-45, M Sep 17, 2014

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    You know those stories

    where they say: "it gets better"? I do have to wonder about that. I tried jumping off a building when I was ten, my family was in some serious financial trouble and I was the main source of that debt, but was stopped by a neighbour. I was told: it'll get better. I tried...
    Randomguy2001 Randomguy2001 18-21, M 2 Responses Mar 1

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    Okay, so there are a lot of things I don’t

    want to talk about. One of the things being my sister, or suicide in general. Rachel was amazing in every way, and I know her death hurt a lot of people. But honestly, I think my grandma, grandpa, and I got the worse of it. No one else had to look into her dead eyes. No one else...
    JustADinosaur JustADinosaur 22-25, F Mar 1

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