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I Am a Suicide Survivor

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,747 People

    I have made two major attempts on my life,

    once at 17 and another at 27. (background: I have borderline personality disorder and PTSD. I started self harming at 13. I'm a survivor of sexual and physical abuse.) ATTEMPT ONE The first major attempt was after my (then) boyfriend dumped me for the millionth time. He was...
    BigBaddaBoom BigBaddaBoom 26-30, F Jun 29

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    I tried three times. the first time I tried to

    hang myself, and was stopped by my parents. The second time I took three times the normal amount of lunesta. The third, I tried to overdose on lsd. none of them worked, but I'm kind of glad they didn't.
    darthty darthty 18-21, T 2 Responses May 28

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    When I was 19 I was going through the most

    traumatic time of my life, I was dumped for someone else, I was kicked out of home, I was involved in a life of crime, I felt like there was no room for love in my life, hate took over. I was battling speed, cocaine and heroin addiction (non I.v.) one week I felt like I crossed...
    WokenandOpen WokenandOpen 31-35, M 3 Responses Jan 18

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    I keep thinking how different their lives would

    be if my mum hadn't found me. My parents out of their minds with grief, at least for a little while. My five year old brother, having to grow up not understanding why his big sister was there one day but gone the next. My friends, just in shock. My cousin roaming around free...
    betruetoyourself14 betruetoyourself14 13-15, F 3 Responses Apr 12

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    my first suicide was my worst,

    I was 14. I was staying the night at my friends house with 4 other people. Every single one of them knew I was suicidal and had several bottles of pills with me. They did nothing. it was about 8am when everyone fell asleep. I picked a bottle that had a lot of small pills in it...
    theperksofbeinghayden theperksofbeinghayden 18-21, T 1 Response Oct 20, 2014

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    I've attempted 8 times

    and backed out of an attempt recently the other day, thanks to a few people on this website and my best friend. I am working on everything in order to make life better for myself and hopefully I'll be okay.
    katielandancer katielandancer 18-21, F 4 Responses Jan 3, 2014

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    I was 12. Painfully shy,

    bullied at school,and the unfortunate child of indulgent yet narcissistic parents. Something sent me over the edge. Maybe I anticipated less than perfect Marks and feared punishment over it. For whatever reason I came home and took every pill I could find in the house and I do...
    Joha0505 Joha0505 18-21, F Aug 24, 2014

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    I tried to kill myself 10 times in my life

    mainly because I never accepted who i was and people didn't understand me and I had no one to talk to until I found this app.. now when I feel suicidal I just sneak medicine to put me to sleep instead of attempting suicide
    Sashamendelli Sashamendelli 13-15, F 3 Responses 4 days ago

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    Okay, so there are a lot of things I don’t

    want to talk about. One of the things being my sister, or suicide in general. Rachel was amazing in every way, and I know her death hurt a lot of people. But honestly, I think my grandma, grandpa, and I got the worse of it. No one else had to look into her dead eyes. No one else...
    JustADinosaur JustADinosaur 22-25, F 2 Responses Mar 1

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    Olivia1962 Olivia1962 51-55, F 4 Responses 4 days ago

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    It Was A Stupid Mistake...

    It was 2 weeks before my 17th birthday. It was October, 2011, 5 monthes after I was in a traumatic event in may 2011. I was Kiddnapped and hurt really bad.. In ways I can't explain on the Internet cause I just can't, cause if I did then it would be always on here so more and more...
    itsjustbrit itsjustbrit 18-21, F 4 Responses Nov 11, 2013

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    Daddyskinkybaby93 Daddyskinkybaby93 22-25, F 2 Responses Jun 4

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    Today was the 86th day of me walking around

    school with a smile on my face, saying hi to all my friends, being drum major for the marching band.... No one suspects or knows... That 86 days ago I got 23 stitches down the side of my body because I wanted to end it all that bad...
    Nothingicandoaboutit Nothingicandoaboutit 16-17, F 1 Response May 27

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    July 25th 2013 was the first time I ever

    attempted suicide and July 25th 2014 was the most recent time I attempted it :( and now we are only one month away from July 25th and to be honest I'm so scared :(
    socofused socofused 16-17, M 2 Responses Jun 24

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    Strive. Good & Bad In Life.

    PLEASE READ ALL THRU> In May...my fiancee committed suicide.Even typing or saying the word suicide is hard. I think most of us in life do have the thought cross our minds...but dont fully consume what such an act can do. My fiancee was the biggest gentlemen and would help anyone...
    BabydollT BabydollT 26-30, F 10 Responses Sep 23, 2012

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    I attempted to kill myself at 15 due to

    enduring years of sexual abuse from my step father and my mother choosing to believe him over me. I still struggle with PTSD from the abuse and I'm sure the suicide attempt doesn't help but I am stronger because I have realized I am not better off dead. It's no use taking the...
    Mmn1229 Mmn1229 22-25, F 1 Response Jun 16, 2014

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    I survived it, but sometimes I still feel like

    it's all I can do. More then ever right now
    ILSapproaches ILSapproaches 18-21, M Jun 19

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    I feel like a completely failure

    and a hipocyrte to everyone who I tell "it'll get better" too. I promise you it will get better, but it's so much harder for me to believe that myself
    slizzer slizzer 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 23, 2014

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    My Story: Four Attempts

    I was raised to be an overachiever which made me stressed out by the time I was 8. By the time I was 11 I developed serious clinical depression. It made all my childish views of things that made the world a decent place all crumble down until all I had was this sadness and hatred...
    ingenuinesmiles ingenuinesmiles 18-21, F 2 Responses Nov 3, 2013

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    Whenever I feel upset

    or down, I always go to this one friend I have. She's been there for me through my best times, it's just lately it hasn't been so good. I've been feeling down and not good enough. She tries to be there for me ik that and she helps, she really does. It's just sometimes I feel...
    deleted deleted 26-30 May 26

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    ihatemegirl ihatemegirl 18-21, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    I've come to learn that one of the hardest

    things about being a survivor is not going back. People who aren't survivors and who don't know one have no idea that one of their "jokes" could make the survivor want to try again. How do you explain that stuff to someone? My boyfriends best friend made a comment tonight and it...
    cheerdiva cheerdiva 16-17, F 3 Responses 4 days ago

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    Yesterday it made 6 months

    since I tried suicide and survive. I feel glad to say that I also survived all those 6 months.
    pansexualgirl pansexualgirl 13-15, F May 25

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    I've survived suicide a couple of times I think

    because subconsciously I didn't really wanna die.....but now I've completely shut down.....my feelings, my mind all closed off......I just don't care right......I'm contemplating suicide again while I don't give a **** about anything.....idc if anyone reads this **** and thinks...
    ShysietheVampiric ShysietheVampiric 18-21, F 4 Responses Jun 13

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    polarbearlove polarbearlove 16-17, F 2 Responses Jun 19

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    5150.

    August 28 2012. Dear me, It's been a while since that horrible day. The day that changed who you were forever. Made you a bitter, hateful, vunerable human being. You've gone through a lot of traumatic experiences, but did it really have to lead up to...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Jun 9, 2013

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    Born again.. From the abyss of darkness rising

    like a phoenix to burn my passages throughout the sky anew. That's how some feel after there failed attempt at ending it. In truth it doesn't strictly relate to suicide attempts. Many survivors of near death experiences claim an epiphany has altered them to there fundamental...
    NihilSineNefas NihilSineNefas 22-25, M 2 Responses Apr 12

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    It's almost a year since I did it.

    I can't believe it's been that long. I can't believe I've been in here that long. But I should be getting out permanently over summer. Wow. I just can't believe it, you know? That I still have life, I still have friends, and family. That I'm improving with all the flashbacks and...
    betruetoyourself14 betruetoyourself14 13-15, F 3 Responses May 25

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    I am a suicide survivor.

    September 9th 2011 I had a serious suicide attempt on a bridge. I landed 53 feet. I am now able to walk, but there's a lot I will never be able to do again :( I SOOO wish I could go back in time and never have had that day happen. But then again, it could have ended worse. I...
    ElizabethC1983 ElizabethC1983 31-35, F 2 Responses Feb 15, 2014

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    it's been almost a year

    since I tried to commit suicide. I felt like I was trapped in a box that I couldn't get out of. my daughter saved my life..
    kayleisma kayleisma 22-25, F 1 Response May 26

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    On April 26, 2014, I lost my beloved mother to

    suicide. I was the one that found her hanging by the neck from our attic. That picture will never leave my head or heart. I did everything I knew to do to save her but it was too late. Due to the lack of oxygen to her brain, she was determined brain dead with a 0% recovery rate...
    sarahmunoz14 sarahmunoz14 26-30, F 2 Responses Nov 8, 2014

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    5 years ago I attempted to take my life.

    ..I had enough of the bullying and the words and lost people on my life...then an elderly lady came to me and convinced me to not go through with it...I still don't know who she is to this day but she is the reason I am a believer in God now:) she was an incredible lady and I am...
    FriendlyCanadian321 FriendlyCanadian321 18-21, F 4 Responses Jun 23, 2014

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    i attempted suicide two

    and a half years ago,by taking 42 pills of acetaminophen,the only thing that made me call an ambulance was that my little boy asked me for a glass of water,but lately my husband makes me think if it was worth it.
    nanvalglex nanvalglex 22-25, F 4 Responses Apr 2

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    Attempted it 3 times,

    still wonder why it never works. If there was a way I would try again, I strongly believe that I'm not really needed in this world.
    PriscilaG PriscilaG 13-15, F 2 Responses Mar 21

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    Hating the fact that I'm still alive right now.

    I am still searching for help though :/
    nomnommings nomnommings 16-17, F 2 Responses Apr 3

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    I am planning to kill myself today.

    I'm not here to be talked out of it, just to express how I really feel to someone. my husband is convinced that I have ruined his life... and maybe I did. He is physically disabled and I have bi polar disorder along with anxiety and ocd. For the last few months I've been more...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Jun 13

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    My teen daughter committed suicide last year,

    and I wrote a book that's being published in 2015 about it : "Once The Storm Is Over: From Grieving To Healing After The Suicide of My Daughter." I'd like to hear from people dealing with depression and thoughts of suicide, and also people who have lost someone because of...
    ninabingham ninabingham 51-55, F 5 Responses Aug 29, 2014

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    I never told this to anyone.

    I am afraid that it will hurt them too bad. When I was 17 almost 18 and my mom left, because she had a drug issue, to rehab, I attempted to die. I don't remember much except that I felt I could not take the silence of the house anymore. So, I ignored my friends and bf at the...
    BrokenWander BrokenWander 22-25, F Apr 20

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    I Recovered From Suicde Thoughts Many Times,and a Survivor,my Ex Took His Life In 2006

    As growing up i was suicidal becuz of being abused i over come and lived many times with attempts by the grace of god Then as i was 20 almost 21 my ex lane took his life to a shot to the head was rough but i over came,i help others and saved 2 lives since then my exes...
    MeemsMimi MeemsMimi 22-25, F Aug 21, 2009

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    In late feb this year I tried to overdose on

    some pills I had in my room and I was so sick of the way my life was heading and I just gave up. I gave up on trying to find the source of my problems and overcoming them. It was such a challenge to even wrap my head around the thought of making a change in my life. So I...
    sourwatermelon sourwatermelon 22-25, F 2 Responses Apr 10, 2014

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    I need blood and pain,

    most of all, I need death.
    ihatemegirl ihatemegirl 18-21, F Jun 10

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    Not very happy about surviving,

    but thinking about my parents upset faces in the hospital and after discovering the cuts on various occasions, I think again. But I wonder for how long I can hold on to those thoughts? Especially since I have no friends or any social life. What's the point of living? Parents won...
    Lonelyndepressedgirl Lonelyndepressedgirl 22-25, F 3 Responses Aug 6, 2014

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    After 5 times, the first time

    when I was 5, I have realised that I probably won't die very soon. So I gave up on suicide. New plan; get girls.
    equinoxxx equinoxxx 13-15 3 Responses 4 days ago

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    When I was 13 I lost my parents to a fire.

    So I stabbed myself in the belly button. Suicide is something that you must be certain to do so I chose the hardest way to kill myself. I had stuck the knife pointing upwards on my bed where my stomach would be. I stood at the other end of the bed and fell on it. It only went in...
    mikeybbb mikeybbb 18-21, M 2 Responses Dec 26, 2013

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    I don't really tell many people this

    but when I tried committing suicide January 22 of this year, it wasn't my first time. I've attempted suicide a total of 11 times in my life. The first time was when I was 8 or 9. Now most kids that age wouldn't understand anything like that, but I'm not your average 16 1/2 year...
    swtchks97 swtchks97 16-17, F 2 Responses Jun 19, 2014

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    I have gone 5 years without self-harming myself.

    I seriously never thought this day would come. I never could see the light before but I'm so glad I held on and am so thankful for all the tremendous support I've received along the way. For all those who are still hanging on, don't let go. It truly does get better. You might...
    crossheart crossheart 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 9

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