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I Am a Suicide Survivor

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,613 People

    When I was 13 I lost my parents to a fire.

    So I stabbed myself in the belly button. Suicide is something that you must be certain to do so I chose the hardest way to kill myself. I had stuck the knife pointing upwards on my bed where my stomach would be. I stood at the other end of the bed and fell on it. It only went in...
    mikeybbb mikeybbb 18-21, M 2 Responses Dec 26, 2013

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    my first suicide was my worst,

    I was 14. I was staying the night at my friends house with 4 other people. Every single one of them knew I was suicidal and had several bottles of pills with me. They did nothing. it was about 8am when everyone fell asleep. I picked a bottle that had a lot of small pills in it...
    theperksofbeinghayden theperksofbeinghayden 18-21, T 1 Response Oct 20, 2014

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    No plan, no future, stuck on this place,

    no where to run, no shelter.... Thats how i feel that night, My ld gf Lie to me for 8 months, And it was more that i could resist, she never loved me. I lost so much for her, i did everithing that i could for her.... All for a Lie. All My hope was on that relationship, when i...
    Healinghate Healinghate 18-21, M 2 Responses Mar 1

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    wtfdaysi wtfdaysi 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 6

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    I Recovered From Suicde Thoughts Many Times,and a Survivor,my Ex Took His Life In 2006

    As growing up i was suicidal becuz of being abused i over come and lived many times with attempts by the grace of god Then as i was 20 almost 21 my ex lane took his life to a shot to the head was rough but i over came,i help others and saved 2 lives since then my exes...
    MeemsMimi MeemsMimi 22-25, F Aug 21, 2009

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    I'm sorry no joke but is this supposed to mean

    you committed suicide but you survived? wouldn't this just mean you attempted to do it but failed? (which is a did thing you did not do it)
    Nicole0228 Nicole0228 18-21, F 3 Responses Mar 2

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    I don't really tell many people this

    but when I tried committing suicide January 22 of this year, it wasn't my first time. I've attempted suicide a total of 11 times in my life. The first time was when I was 8 or 9. Now most kids that age wouldn't understand anything like that, but I'm not your average 16 1/2 year...
    swtchks97 swtchks97 16-17, F 2 Responses Jun 19, 2014

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    With you gone, there's no one

    who can save me next time I want to attempt
    MrCutBleedSmile MrCutBleedSmile 18-21, M 1 Response Jan 11

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    By the time I was 24 years old,

    I long ago passed that line between social drinking and alcoholism and, in that nebulous alcoholic fog and exaggerated egoism, smirked at relatives who actually lost money to each other on bets that I wouldn't live that long. That smugness was of no comfort when I was made a...
    cmmacneil cmmacneil 41-45, M 2 Responses Sep 17, 2014

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    I wish I had succeeded.

    .. Wish I was smart enough to end it... Wish I wasn't such a coward.... Should've taken more... But here I am... Alive. Still hating my life. Still wanting to die...
    MrCutBleedSmile MrCutBleedSmile 18-21, M 1 Response Jan 8

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    When I was around 19 I was on the college I get

    on a really bad depression since I didn't have money for assist to a doctor and my mom is kind of a ***** she was always trying to control my life and make my life in her way the pain is awful so I decide to hang my self from a ceiling fan with a leather belt I was able to do it...
    forsa85 forsa85 26-30, M 1 Response Nov 7, 2014

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    i attempted suicide two

    and a half years ago,by taking 42 pills of acetaminophen,the only thing that made me call an ambulance was that my little boy asked me for a glass of water,but lately my husband makes me think if it was worth it.
    nanvalglex nanvalglex 22-25, F 4 Responses Apr 2

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    Hating the fact that I'm still alive right now.

    I am still searching for help though :/
    nomnommings nomnommings 16-17, F 2 Responses Apr 3

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    I am a suicide survivor.

    September 9th 2011 I had a serious suicide attempt on a bridge. I landed 53 feet. I am now able to walk, but there's a lot I will never be able to do again :( I SOOO wish I could go back in time and never have had that day happen. But then again, it could have ended worse. I...
    ElizabethC1983 ElizabethC1983 31-35, F 2 Responses Feb 15, 2014

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    yet another night with my knife up to my throat

    thanks to my brother the psychological murderer
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Mar 14

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    On the 26th of November I attempted suicide by

    overdose. This was the 3rd time I attempted it. After staying in the Hospital for a few days and having the Crisis Team follow my every move, my body eventually recovered. My roommate contacted a friend to come with her to the hospital because you need two people to identify...
    StartingOverAgain20 StartingOverAgain20 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 22, 2013

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    When I was 19 I was going through the most

    traumatic time of my life, I was dumped for someone else, I was kicked out of home, I was involved in a life of crime, I felt like there was no room for love in my life, hate took over. I was battling speed, cocaine and heroin addiction (non I.v.) one week I felt like I crossed...
    WokenandOpen WokenandOpen 31-35, M 3 Responses Jan 18

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    ever since I turned 14 my life feels like I'm

    on a downward spiral because of suicide. I remember my first suicide attempt was really stupid. I overdosed and didn't die I felt really bad.fast forward to today.a couple days ago I was sitting a top a bridge ready to jump but I didn't. ended up at the er which I hate.they did...
    Passionfruit3 Passionfruit3 22-25, F Oct 20, 2014

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    I attempted to kill myself at 15 due to

    enduring years of sexual abuse from my step father and my mother choosing to believe him over me. I still struggle with PTSD from the abuse and I'm sure the suicide attempt doesn't help but I am stronger because I have realized I am not better off dead. It's no use taking the...
    Mmn1229 Mmn1229 22-25, F 2 Responses Jun 16, 2014

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    I was 12. Painfully shy,

    bullied at school,and the unfortunate child of indulgent yet narcissistic parents. Something sent me over the edge. Maybe I anticipated less than perfect Marks and feared punishment over it. For whatever reason I came home and took every pill I could find in the house and I do...
    Joha0505 Joha0505 18-21, F Aug 24, 2014

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    Honestly, i look back to the day i tried.

    I can't believe i wanted to take my life. Also that no one noticed me struggling. It all starts with long sleeves, bruises, scars, then my mind and body gave up. I am a suicide survivor. Yes, i still have some thoughts about it every now and then. But I'm picking myself...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Feb 9, 2014

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    I have gone 5 years without self-harming myself.

    I seriously never thought this day would come. I never could see the light before but I'm so glad I held on and am so thankful for all the tremendous support I've received along the way. For all those who are still hanging on, don't let go. It truly does get better. You might...
    crossheart crossheart 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 9

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    I feel like a completely failure

    and a hipocyrte to everyone who I tell "it'll get better" too. I promise you it will get better, but it's so much harder for me to believe that myself
    slizzer slizzer 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 23, 2014

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    I've attempted 5 times.

    I never thought I would say this, but I'm glad I survived.
    Colourfi Colourfi 13-15, T 1 Response Apr 2

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    31 years today my Dale took his life to find

    peace. I was thinking this morning about what I was doing that day - I can remember so much, and then almost nothing. Dale and I were affectionate, and so I have no regret about that. I tried to help him, but resources back then were very limited - knowledge and acceptance of...
    kitty1958 kitty1958 56-60, F 3 Responses Nov 7, 2014

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    Okay, so there are a lot of things I don’t

    want to talk about. One of the things being my sister, or suicide in general. Rachel was amazing in every way, and I know her death hurt a lot of people. But honestly, I think my grandma, grandpa, and I got the worse of it. No one else had to look into her dead eyes. No one else...
    JustADinosaur JustADinosaur 22-25, F 2 Responses Mar 1

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    But Now I Want To Live

    By the time I was 24 years old, I long ago passed that line between social drinking and alcoholism but prided myself that relatives who actually bet money I wouldn't even live to see 24 lost. It was little comfort, though. By the time I was pushed into that desperate decision to...
    cmmacneil cmmacneil 41-45, M 9 Responses May 24, 2012

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    BrandonTA1012 BrandonTA1012 13-15, M Jan 12

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    The only thing that keeps me alive is my nephew

    and nieces. I'm not even sure if it's going to keep working..
    Moweb95 Moweb95 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 14

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    ChangingFaces5 ChangingFaces5 26-30 Jan 5

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    My Story: Four Attempts

    I was raised to be an overachiever which made me stressed out by the time I was 8. By the time I was 11 I developed serious clinical depression. It made all my childish views of things that made the world a decent place all crumble down until all I had was this sadness and hatred...
    ingenuinesmiles ingenuinesmiles 18-21, F 2 Responses Nov 3, 2013

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    I had an office on the 8th floor with a window

    that opened. I would sit there for hours, thinking that the window was calling me. Get up on the counter, it would say. Open me. Slide on out. It'll all be over in seconds. Obviously, I didn't. But I wonder what it is about various methods of suicide that attract us. Why jump...
    wundayatta wundayatta 56-60, M 7 Responses Feb 19, 2014

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    My teen daughter committed suicide last year,

    and I wrote a book that's being published in 2015 about it : "Once The Storm Is Over: From Grieving To Healing After The Suicide of My Daughter." I'd like to hear from people dealing with depression and thoughts of suicide, and also people who have lost someone because of...
    ninabingham ninabingham 51-55, F 4 Responses Aug 29, 2014

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    5150.

    August 28 2012. Dear me, It's been a while since that horrible day. The day that changed who you were forever. Made you a bitter, hateful, vunerable human being. You've gone through a lot of traumatic experiences, but did it really have to lead up to...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Jun 9, 2013

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    I've attempted three times in the past year.

    It amazes me how I'm still alive and healthy, but it's shown me that God still needs me here. I'm finally moving forward with my life. I talked about my self-harm with my mom, and she gave me some ideas on how to counter those thoughts with physical activity, which seems to be...
    Ellytheoutcast Ellytheoutcast 13-15, F 2 Responses Mar 22

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    Born again.. From the abyss of darkness rising

    like a phoenix to burn my passages throughout the sky anew. That's how some feel after there failed attempt at ending it. In truth it doesn't strictly relate to suicide attempts. Many survivors of near death experiences claim an epiphany has altered them to there fundamental...
    NihilSineNefas NihilSineNefas 22-25, M 2 Responses Apr 12

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    5 years ago I attempted to take my life.

    ..I had enough of the bullying and the words and lost people on my life...then an elderly lady came to me and convinced me to not go through with it...I still don't know who she is to this day but she is the reason I am a believer in God now:) she was an incredible lady and I am...
    FriendlyCanadian321 FriendlyCanadian321 18-21, F 4 Responses Jun 23, 2014

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    If you can stop looking at me like I'm wounded,

    then maybe I can stop acting like it. Then maybe, just maybe, I have a shot at being happy.
    MrCutBleedSmile MrCutBleedSmile 18-21, M 1 Response Mar 9

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    I never told this to anyone.

    I am afraid that it will hurt them too bad. When I was 17 almost 18 and my mom left, because she had a drug issue, to rehab, I attempted to die. I don't remember much except that I felt I could not take the silence of the house anymore. So, I ignored my friends and bf at the...
    BrokenWander BrokenWander 22-25, F Apr 20

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    On April 26, 2014, I lost my beloved mother to

    suicide. I was the one that found her hanging by the neck from our attic. That picture will never leave my head or heart. I did everything I knew to do to save her but it was too late. Due to the lack of oxygen to her brain, she was determined brain dead with a 0% recovery rate...
    sarahmunoz14 sarahmunoz14 26-30, F 2 Responses Nov 8, 2014

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    I have big thick scars up my arms

    and across my wrists from suicide attempts. I wanted to end the pain id been in for so long. It took me until my 4th attempt, until my friend had to break into my bathroom at 1am and stop me from bleeding, looking into his eyes and seeing the panic and desperation in them made...
    ameliap ameliap 18-21, F 5 Responses Dec 19, 2013

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    Not very happy about surviving,

    but thinking about my parents upset faces in the hospital and after discovering the cuts on various occasions, I think again. But I wonder for how long I can hold on to those thoughts? Especially since I have no friends or any social life. What's the point of living? Parents won...
    Lonelyndepressedgirl Lonelyndepressedgirl 18-21, F 3 Responses Aug 6, 2014

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    Strive. Good & Bad In Life.

    PLEASE READ ALL THRU> In May...my fiancee committed suicide.Even typing or saying the word suicide is hard. I think most of us in life do have the thought cross our minds...but dont fully consume what such an act can do. My fiancee was the biggest gentlemen and would help anyone...
    BabydollT BabydollT 26-30, F 10 Responses Sep 23, 2012

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    Attempted it 3 times,

    still wonder why it never works. If there was a way I would try again, I strongly believe that I'm not really needed in this world.
    PriscilaG PriscilaG 13-15, F 2 Responses Mar 21

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    You know those stories

    where they say: "it gets better"? I do have to wonder about that. I tried jumping off a building when I was ten, my family was in some serious financial trouble and I was the main source of that debt, but was stopped by a neighbour. I was told: it'll get better. I tried...
    Randomguy2001 Randomguy2001 22-25, M 2 Responses Mar 1

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    It Was A Stupid Mistake...

    It was 2 weeks before my 17th birthday. It was October, 2011, 5 monthes after I was in a traumatic event in may 2011. I was Kiddnapped and hurt really bad.. In ways I can't explain on the Internet cause I just can't, cause if I did then it would be always on here so more and more...
    itsjustbrit itsjustbrit 18-21, F 4 Responses Nov 11, 2013

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