Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device

I Am a Survivor of Child Sexual Abuse

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,952 People

    The abuse started when I was

    so young, three maybe four. I stopped it when I was 12 and things became really bad, he never touched me again but began mentally abusing and controlling me. It took me a while but I realised he was the weak one. I stopped him and was no longer the victim.
    lsdcn lsdcn 46-50, F Jun 13, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Touch Of Healing

    :: Dedicated to my Angel :: Many survivors are not so lucky to get the "priceless" feeling, what I call 'Touch of healing', but I was lucky enough to experience it a few times. He was the only person whom I told the whole 'story'. I don't know what made me speak in front of him...
    TiredOfRunning TiredOfRunning 18-21, F 3 Responses Jan 1, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My Life In Pretence

    I don't like talking about it. For the most part of my life, I pretended it was all a dream, a nightmare, something so hazy that it fades in the background and pretend it didn't happen to me. But I couldn't carry on pretending any longer. Not when I try to have a serious...
    hoping2live hoping2live 22-25, F 20 Responses Oct 7, 2010

    Your Response

    Cancel

    It Only Happened The Once!!!!

    I was in the wrong place at the wrong time. A place with trees, and old gravel extraction pit, it was an escape from the the work we had to do when i was a child., parents worked the land and needed my help, I had no choice, that I was not supposed to be in, it was all fenced...
    KnobbyKnees KnobbyKnees 46-50, M 11 Responses Jan 2, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I always watched baby Einstein on my brothers

    computer, he was the only one who had a disk drive. I loved watching it, i was 3 at the time, about to turn 4. One night, he asked me if I wanted a doughnut, me being a child, i agreed. (Keep this in mind, my brother was 12). He made me suck his thing..., This didn't last long...
    Lexish Lexish 13-15, F 3 Responses Jul 6, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Was "abused". I Don't Know How I Feel. I Know I Don't Feel Human. But Someday I Will.

    For the longest time I thought I had imagined it. I honestly thought it was a product of my feverish imagination but then again... Why would anyone IMAGINE THAT?? I was sexually taken advantage of as a child. I cannot honestly say I was abused or that I Feel abused because it did...
    Janewise13 Janewise13 18-21 11 Responses Nov 5, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I have so much to say.

    But I don't know where to start, what to say, or how to say it...
    ImBatmanShhh ImBatmanShhh 16-17, T Sep 6, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    it happened and i cant change it

    but i refuse to let it define who i am as a person
    daniellefeather28 daniellefeather28 26-30, F Jan 8, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I still think about it sometimes -

    and although I do, it doesn't mean I am not over it. I survived. It stayed with me but I survived. :)
    EmmaBrun EmmaBrun 16-17, F 1 Response Jun 28, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Am I a survivor I don't know I don't feel like

    one well I am living but that doesn't mean I am alive
    innocentsoul innocentsoul 18-21 3 Responses Jul 2, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I was about 3 1/2 when it first started.

    My mom had divorced my real dad and was dating my aunt husbands brother. I never knew this this years later when they split up and a chance meeting with my real dad happened in a McDonald's. I thought that piece of crap was my real dad. Neither were worth much of anything. His...
    bobroberts123 bobroberts123 66-70, M 2 Responses Sep 2, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    "That my body is all

    that I am", how well I know the feeling. I just read about another woman that was sexually abused growing up and the quote is from her story. Reading it made me want to stand up among you and share some of my feelings and experience. I was molested and prostituted from a very...
    CaningCaregiver CaningCaregiver 31-35, F 10 Responses May 4, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My babysitters husband

    and son use to molest me and my younger sister. I want to die every time I think of what they did to my sister. I was in the third grade and she was in the first grade... I was 9 she was 6... I feel disgusting. I never opened my stupid mouth to no one about this till a few years...
    PandaLoves PandaLoves 26-30, F 1 Response May 18, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel
    justwanabe justwanabe 22-25, F 4 Responses Dec 25, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Survivor Huh? Yeah...but Maybe Thts Not The Right Term.

    I hate bastards who abuse children!! Every time I read about something like that, I get a lot of mixed feelings, some of them twisted raging anger, and relief because I am not alone, a sense of belonging or something...relating to someone...but its all bitterness, scared fear, I...
    hoping2live hoping2live 22-25, F 5 Responses Nov 9, 2010

    Your Response

    Cancel

    This story is my own,

    I’m not telling it to get pity but cause it helps to talk about it and I know it can help others in the same situation or who have been there…. This is not a fun story, some may find it hard some may find it hard… some can relate.. When I was born, I already had a big...
    ChantouKimmy ChantouKimmy 41-45, F 11 Responses Jan 16, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My life feels like a death sentence in America.

    You know you're going to die soon, but it never seems to happen. Delays and confusion torture you. Be better just to get it over with, but people think this is for the best. I imagine that even if you didn't do anything wrong that part of you wishes for death. Better than...
    Ashclo Ashclo 26-30, F 1 Response Jan 17

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I don't know if I am a survivor.

    ..Yes I have a heartbeat, but am I really alive?? My first abuser was my father. He then created a ring of people. I don't know how I survived physically. Mentally, they broke me. I got free when I was 22. I don't know how to live in this world. I don't know what the rules are. I...
    CRPSsurviving CRPSsurviving 26-30, F 2 Responses Jul 3, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Hello I want to share my experience with the

    net. When I was 10 and my brother was 3 We were having fun. No clue about what sex is. We played with games with eachother... Then one day i told him: Suck my penis and I will suck you back. So he did it. Afther a while we did it almost everyday. Afther a while he said : No I...
    iloveleagueoflegends iloveleagueoflegends 22-25, M 2 Responses Jul 25, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I was 8 years old when he first touched me.

    He was in the basement spending the day at our house watching tv. I went to ask him if he wanted to play with me and my sisters, because he usually would. He told me he was too tired to play so I told him ok. I went turned around and went to walk upstairs until he strangely...
    loverenzy loverenzy 16-17, F Jan 11

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Has anyone else who's survived childhood sexual

    abuse had digestive troubles as an adult? I have those kind of problems now and I've need for all the tests possible but they can't figure out what's wrong with me and I read that survivors of sexual abuse tend to have it.
    ParanoidGirl ParanoidGirl 26-30 5 Responses Dec 28, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    CULT SURVIVOR I grew up in a evangelical

    fundamentalist group that was ran by my "Family". I escaped child abuse, neglect and the rise of a religious cult. I am finally willing to share my story. The more it gets out there- The safer I am. PLEASE HELP.
    DestinyChangesC DestinyChangesC 22-25, F 2 Responses Jul 9, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    when I was 5, I was abused by a female neighbor.

    .. it affects me to this day, I remember me refusing to do what she wanted, she beat me, threw me against a wall and told me I have no choice... she ruined my childhood
    willazrael willazrael 18-21, M 1 Response Jun 9, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Surviving Evil-my Story Of Molestation And Moving On.

    I was 10. Mom had met yet another guy. I didn't thik he'd last, they rarely did. I was wrong. He treated my mom like i thought she deserved to be treated at that time in my life. I wanted my mom happy, and he made her happy. He treated me well to which just made things even...
    SSRaye05 SSRaye05 26-30, F 1 Response Feb 3, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A Little Start

    I lay sleeping, until my bedroom door is ajar. I see his shadow through the hall way light. My heart starts pounding, How long do i have? Should I make a run for it, or lay silent and be still, I'm only a child, not more than eight, I close my eyes with the first tear, And pray...
    Estel1980 Estel1980 26-30 2 Responses Aug 25, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    (BEWARE, THIS IS LENGTHY AND DEscriptIVE) It

    was another night my uncle had stayed over to go work with my dad the next morning. I remember playing with my pink princess bouncy ball in the family room with my two younger sister's Rachel and Char. As we were throwing it to each other, uncle Dan ran in and took the ball and...
    loverenzy loverenzy 16-17, F Jan 11

    Your Response

    Cancel

    The insensitivity of others.

    I was at a meeting today for business. One of the presenters gave a very good presentation on childhood trauma and the effects. I found it personally and professionally informative. I really do try my best at meetings or training to get something out of it. This is a new job...
    hischelsea hischelsea 46-50, F 3 Responses Apr 10, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Still to this day I don't know

    why it happened, or if I am in fact a virgin... And I think that's what messed me up the most. And I can't even ask... Cause he's gone from this world now, but he was gone from my world much sooner.
    ImBatmanShhh ImBatmanShhh 16-17, T 1 Response Sep 6, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I was molested by my father

    and i kept it hidden for a year. I constantly blame myself especially if he could end up in jail. I am scared of what will come of the investigation
    savigirl14 savigirl14 16-17, F 6 Responses Aug 9, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Get It

    I was sexually abused by my uncle when I was around 3-4 years old. He liked to take out his penis, lay me on top of him and kiss me hard on the mouth. One time I remember waking up and he was performing oral sex on me. I can also remember him tricking me into performing oral...
    Italy4me Italy4me 46-50 1 Response Oct 17, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Operation Be A Kid Again

    Operation Be A Kid Again( from my blog www.diaryofabrokenchild.blogspot.com) This is my list of things I never got to do as a kid, got to do but want to do again or just things I wanna try as an adult that have nothing to do with childhood. This list could be call Operation...
    silverstar415850 silverstar415850 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 2, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I was perfectly fine.

    I was actually happy. I had no scars on my skin, I didn't want to die, and the smile on my face wasn't fake. But then my friend shared a video on Facebook... And in that video was a guy in about his 40s holding up pieces of paper he had written on cause he would breakdown if he...
    ImBatmanShhh ImBatmanShhh 16-17, T Sep 6, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I'm having a horrible day.

    So much was/is triggering me today. I was just wondering if anyone out there can please talk to me...
    CRPSsurviving CRPSsurviving 26-30, F 3 Responses Jul 6, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    It is my dearest hope

    that others will be encouraged by this. For many years I was adversely affected by these early childhood traumas, remaining a victim to the abuse (yes, there were multiple starting at the tender age of two). I honestly didn't think there was any other option for me but to try...
    islamujeres islamujeres 41-45, F 3 Responses a week ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Self-Delusion

    Today, I had a long conversation with a new EP member who contacted me because she saw that I belonged to a group for those who had been sexually exploited as children. I don’t know why, but I ended up telling her more of my story than I had ever told anyone before. Others have...
    Rutterman Rutterman 36-40, M 8 Responses Oct 27, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    May Trigger

    He held me down. Forced me onto the bed, couch, floor, wherever he wanted me to be. If I ran from him, he would catch me. Sometimes, he would just grab me and carry me back to where I was “supposed” to be. Other times, he would push me in front of him, leading me to where...
    monsterwithinme monsterwithinme 18-21, F 6 Responses Feb 7, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    When i was about 3 or 4,

    my sister came to get me and told me that Sandy, the Indian man who lived with us almost constantly since birth, until my parents separated in year 10 when i was about 13, wanted to show us something. She told me he had said to wait in the bathroom, and then when he was ready...
    PixieGrin108 PixieGrin108 22-25, F 1 Response Jul 2, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I'm talking to the police about my brother

    who sexually abused me for years as a child. My family are furious and can't understand why I'm doing this. I am starting to feel guilty and that I don't have a right to seek justice. Supportive comments required!
    Bluetemple Bluetemple 26-30, F 4 Responses Aug 6, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    When I was eleven, I told my mom about how my

    dad had sexually abused me. It took courage but I had to when he first raped me. My mom kicked him out. For some reason the judge didn't think it was a big deal. Smh. I had anxiety and major depression. Saying it is not easy. It seems easy. Kids feel ashamed and parents won't...
    sheyisme sheyisme 16-17 2 Responses Oct 26, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Feeling Uncertain

    I've been through a lot of abuse in my life...verbal,physical, emotional,sexual..i don't really talk about it. I'm afraid if i do the people will look at me differently. I'm always smiling and staying positive and strong to help others..i'm so scared that if i tell people the...
    somethingspecial1 somethingspecial1 22-25, F 8 Responses Aug 24, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I am too. I went through years of therapy

    and I can confidently say that I am ok but, not a day goes by that I don't think about it. I want to share my experience with others in hopes of helping them deal with the PTSD they are most likely suffering from. It can be a very dark, lonely and terrifying place to be in. I...
    Italy4me Italy4me 46-50 Aug 3, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I was sexually abused by my mother

    and other women. People who are sexually abused by women are silenced, shamed, and denied a lot more than those abused by men. But there are a lot of us and we don't deserve to be ignored, silenced, shamed or denied. I couldn't even find a group about it here on EP. I...
    TruthSpeaks71 TruthSpeaks71 41-45 5 Responses Sep 20, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I was sexually abused

    for several years when I was a child. My psychological problems followed me for many years . Because I did allow it to happen even though I understood it was very wrong. But mainly because he manipulated me and what he did to me started to feel very nice and because of that I...
    Emmajulia Emmajulia 46-50, F 9 Responses Nov 2, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My uncle has just recently died.

    That's why I am sharing my experience now. I feel such relief and joy at his death but of course I could never verbalise this. You're supposed to be sad when someone dies... Right?!? It started when I was 4 and my mother and I went to visit my uncle and his partner. They told...
    Pattycake1234 Pattycake1234 26-30, F 4 Responses Jul 25, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I was 11... He was 18.

    I considered him as the best friend ever. His family was very close to mine. We visited each other often. I was too innocent to realise that all of his gifts and kisses were a warning of what was going to happen. It was during a night. I was alone. He was there. It...
    EarlPhantomhive EarlPhantomhive 18-21, F 6 Responses Oct 31, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel