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I Am a Survivor of Domestic Violence

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,357 People

    I am not a recent survivor.

    I left my husband a little over three years ago. In some ways I am coping much better than three years ago. In other ways I am not. The euphoria of being free and finally getting out has worn off. About a year after I left, I felt the entire world was open to me. Now I...
    strongerwiser34 strongerwiser34 31-35, F Dec 30, 2014

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    From one relationship to the next.

    .. Almost everyone I've been with has been abusive, either mentally or physically... It's difficult to trust people. I guess that's why I'm on here. When it comes down to it, I'm looking at a screen, but I'm still interacting with people. It's easier this way to really connect.
    EmeraldDreams12 EmeraldDreams12 18-21 Dec 20, 2014

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    I am proud to say that I am a survivor of

    domestic violence, but what most people don't understand that your battle is still not over. It's been approximately three years since I left my ex who would abuse me mentally and physically. The scenario replays in my head all the time. It even has affected me in my recent...
    yessika23 yessika23 22-25, F 2 Responses Oct 9, 2014

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    You never get over it,

    you learn to cope then rebuild.. You never forget.. I will never foreget the feeling of sheer terror when his hands were around my neck.. The exact moment I began to panic as I tried to pull his hands away.. The day my sense of trust and safety were completely obliterated.. And...
    Memoriesremain Memoriesremain 26-30, F 1 Response Oct 7, 2014

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    It's been 3 years since I left him.

    I am currently in a new wonderful relationship, but my past haunts me every single day. I've never reached out for support, and I worry that because I am still in the "victim closet" that my relationship will eventually suffer. So here I am. My new boyfriend knows of my past and...
    Erika88o Erika88o 26-30 2 Responses Jan 6

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    There Is A Tomorrow

    Hi Everybody i am a survivor of domestic abuse and i am now doing more than just surviving. I was a victim for 33years of physical (most of the bones in my body have been broken) mental, sexual and emotional abuse. I am asked "why didnt you leave" this comment makes me angry...
    sunrise58 sunrise58 61-65 3 Responses Feb 25, 2013

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    What Is Fear?

    What is fear? It is not a stranger, for I have once played Fear in a game of chess. Fear harassed my 'knights' of will and 'pawns' of dignity. For each move Fear made, his sinister voice, whispering in my ear, "I will not stop hunting you," became louder and louder. Fear was...
    SelflessSheikah SelflessSheikah 22-25, F 1 Response Oct 14, 2013

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    If you were to see me walking down the street,

    or in the grocery store, you would never realize that I am a survivor. The physical scars have healed, yet the mental and emotional scars remain. You see, I am a lucky woman. I am one of the fortunate ones, for I am survivor of 6 years of domestic violence. Those who have never...
    nuwbnprincess nuwbnprincess 31-35, F 1 Response Dec 16, 2014

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    After only 1 month out of my abusive

    relationship with my ex-boyfriend, why do I care how he is doing? I want him to be well. To be helped with whatever issues that drove him to mistreating me to such extremes. I suppose I want him to be sorry for what he did - to be held responsible for his conduct and, most...
    lotusabloom lotusabloom 36-40, F 2 Responses Jan 19

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    On The Other Side..

    As much as I had to share my nightmare story, my gradual climb back up, then the acceptance and step forward, I now feel the need to share my victory, I am now in a place in my life where: I am happy with who I am, can't remember ever having thought let alone said that... I am...
    simplylee simplylee 46-50, F 2 Responses Oct 5, 2011

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    Its Not So Easy to Leave

    Twenty one years ago, I thought I met the man of my dreams.  He was handsome, worldly & very charismatic.  Our relationship was intense, exciting & passionate.  So when he asked me to marry him, I didn't even think for a second before I accepted. ...
    smileyone0329 smileyone0329 36-40, F 32 Responses Jun 27, 2008

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    I am not a recent survivor.

    I left my husband a little over three years ago. In some ways I am coping much better than three years ago. In other ways I am not. The euphoria of being free and finally getting out has worn off. About a year after I left, I felt the entire world was open to me. Now I...
    strongerwiser34 strongerwiser34 31-35, F Dec 30, 2014

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    lovelyboobs77 lovelyboobs77 36-40, F Nov 1, 2014

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    Love Hurts

    Tempers start to flare, two voices start to yell Insults fly this way and that way They have both had to many shots of scotch on the rocks She starts to cry she tells him its over because he has never Loved her, he could never grasp what it would take to love her because its...
    zen404 zen404 22-25 3 Responses Nov 25, 2013

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    I did what I had to do.

    anything to avoid it. I guess I just got tired of it and saw no other way out. I could never leave you, I loved you too much. I was too weak for you. so I guess I set up this situation where you would hate me and leave me for good. I cheated. but it's hard to say I did because I...
    somegirl117 somegirl117 18-21 1 Response Dec 5, 2014

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    It's been 25 years ago I left the man

    who abused me. It took a while to become strong but I built a good life raised my son the best I could and had a successful business. My son was possibly abused by his father. He said so when he was small then changed his story and has denied it ever since. So when I took legal...
    Truthsetsmefree Truthsetsmefree 61-65 1 Response Jan 2

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    Local Escapes Domestic Violence, Becomes Entrepreneur

    This is MY Story. Standing Her Ground... (reprinted from WNY Women in Business; December 2009) By Nicole Gawel Twenty-two years. That was the length of time Suzanne Perry was abused, isolated and estranged from her family, friends and the world around...
    SuzannePerry SuzannePerry 41-45, F 6 Responses Aug 28, 2010

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    Today, my "permanent" protective order expires.

    A few thoughts: A "permanent" protective order shouldn't last only 2 years & it shouldn't be nearly as difficult to obtain one. But today I want to focus on a message to anyone out there that might be going through what I did: I know that asking you to leave is like asking...
    emilyflys26 emilyflys26 31-35 Feb 9

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    Victim"...I hate that word.

    We are not "victims". We are some of the strongest, bravest women to walk the earth. We are survivors.  We are not stray helpless animals, we are the brave lioness. We endured the worst, we suffered, we hurt..yet we risked everything for freedom. We are survivors, not victims...
    TriciaFL TriciaFL 36-40, F 2 Responses Aug 29, 2014

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    I was in an abusive relationship

    for two years. I stayed because I moved across the country to be with a boyfriend and the only people I knew were his friends. When I finally tried to tell others about the abuse, my boyfriend said I was lying and overreacting. I became the bad guy. He told others that I was...
    jlkelly01 jlkelly01 31-35, F 1 Response Sep 17, 2014

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    It's been 4 months today

    since I ran out of the house with my daughter in my arms, and I am proud to say I only looked back once (a few days after we left I went to see if he would get help and all he did was promise me as soon as he had her back in his possession I would get what was coming to me.) I...
    SunflowerChicka SunflowerChicka 26-30, F 1 Response Oct 29, 2014

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    http://www.byui.edu/counseling-center/self-help/abusive-relationships
    amtired amtired 22-25, F Nov 25, 2014

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    Want to share a bit of my story with Domestic

    violence: Well I had joined a dating website and met a guy in April 2011 and the first time we met we drank all night smoking marijuana and it proceeded to sex. He was going through a struggle with prescription pills and when we woke up he was pressuring me to go to the clinic...
    jlam123 jlam123 22-25, F 1 Response Sep 1, 2014

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    Hatred With A Passion

       When I was a little boy all I ever wanted from my dad was a hug and to be told that he loved me. Instead all I ever got was beaten and for most of the time I never knew why I was being beaten with a belt he would remove from his waist. I'll never forget one specific time...
    michaelraybaker michaelraybaker 46-50, M 11 Responses Apr 12, 2012

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    I was in a abusive relationship

    for 2 years. I moved in with him and then the abuse started. He checked my phone, clothes every minute of the day. He was a cheater, liar and addicted to drugs. I was hit in public, infront of his friends and went to the police. No one helped. I knew if I stayed any longer, he...
    AbusedByYou AbusedByYou 22-25, F 6 Responses May 28, 2014

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    I am not where I was yesterday .

    . Yes I still have a long road ahead of me being a survivor of domestic violence .. I pray and hope that I will never turn down that road again .. Staying strong prayed up an knowing there is a brighter future for myself ..
    jennz98 jennz98 36-40 Feb 21, 2014

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    I Survive I feel again No longer numb

    or broken inside I feel again Wanting to live, no longer wishing to die I feel again I sing again A simple song of freedom and happiness I sing again Loud and clear for everyone to hear I sing again I smile again My son, my friends, my life gives me joy I smile...
    breesusrocksmysocks breesusrocksmysocks 26-30, F 3 Responses Mar 9, 2014

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    Will You Be The Next Silent Witness

    A Silent Witness is a woman who has been killed due to domestic violence.  The Silent Witness organization presents life-sized red silhouettes of five women who died the previous year as a victim of domestic violence, and they are presented on the steps of our...
    silentwitness silentwitness 46-50 5 Responses Mar 4, 2010

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    10 days ago is when I got my freedom.

    When I had first met M, I knew he had a history of violent crimes and a short temper, but being a spitfire myself, I thought it was exciting. I had always been the jealous type, so when we established rules of always being able to look at each other's phones, monitor...
    Adayatatime23 Adayatatime23 22-25, F 1 Response May 26, 2014

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    A Childs Perspective.

    I saw my dad beat my mom once and that was enough to make me hate him. I was about 12 and I can remember it like it was yesterday. I kicked the door to their bedroom open and it hit him in the head as he tried to close it. He started shouting at my older brothers asking who...
    Scorpio1987 Scorpio1987 22-25, M 4 Responses Jun 5, 2012

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    I am not a recent survivor.

    I left my husband a little over three years ago. In some ways I am coping much better than three years ago. In other ways I am not. The euphoria of being free and finally getting out has worn off. About a year after I left, I felt the entire world was open to me. Now I...
    strongerwiser34 strongerwiser34 31-35, F 1 Response Dec 30, 2014

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    This story is part of my healing process.

    I thought I had beaten this years ago. I never thought about how much damage was caused by the men in my life. From the age of 4 things have been broken. Every abuse you can think of unfortunately I have experienced. But I thought I was OK. Then one day I started to take...
    valfree8121 valfree8121 41-45, F a week ago

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    i miss my ex abuser i dont know why.

    im going thru witgdrawl of a toxic relationship. its driving me crazy
    amtired amtired 22-25, F 2 Responses Nov 30, 2014

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    Domestic Violence

    My article on Helium.com Running into the bathroom slamming the door and pushing my body close to it so he won't get in. His fist pound the door like a drum demanding me to let him in. As the room falls silent, I slide to the floor in tears waiting for a sign that he has left...
    lija30 lija30 31-35, F 6 Responses Mar 14, 2013

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    If anyone out there is survivor

    or going through domestic abuse and would like to talk or be listened to by some one who understands. Looking for understanding people who have had similar experiences and how they learned to cope. X
    tazygirl tazygirl 18-21, F 3 Responses Aug 31, 2014

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    My Abuse Story

    well i have struggled with my worth since i can remember never feeling good enough. i met a man, got married to him at a young age, at first he seemed amazing , gentle man and than he changed . the fighting , it started off with name calling , verbal abuse than mental than the...
    Aweir23 Aweir23 26-30, F 2 Responses Mar 8, 2013

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    I'm A Survivor Of Domestic Violence

    I lived with my ex partner and our kids age 3 and 2 at the time, he never was aggressive towards me, then 1 day he changed after we got engaged he started telling me I was fat and I didn't look good, but I'm a confident person I took no notice, then he started accusing me of...
    marjorie21 marjorie21 31-35, F 1 Response Sep 28, 2013

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    Hi there. Almost three months

    since we split. I am back to my home country (I had moved to his country to be with him). My family and friends are awesome. They support me a lot. But somehow it is not enough. I miss my ex-bf so bad I feel I wouldn't mind if he killed me, as long as I could just spend some...
    LilMinn LilMinn 22-25, F 19 hrs ago

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    I loved you, but you hated me.

    It was terrifying not knowing what would set you off, and make you mad. I was scared not knowing when you would hit my mother or I. Eventually, I let go. The punches and kicks just became bruises, the scratches and cuts just became scabs. One day you curled your hand around...
    Maldif2015 Maldif2015 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 9, 2014

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    We grew up together. I met my husband

    when we were 6. We were married when we were 21... and when I was 22 and pregnant with our daughter, he started pushing me around. Shortly after we were married, I discovered that my husband had a pretty severe *********** addiction. It wasn't so much the content that bothered...
    Sizzlebizzlebear Sizzlebizzlebear 26-30, F 3 Responses Jan 31, 2014

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    1 year without the abuse

    and without him in my life! I'm starting to find my real self again
    alimarie1 alimarie1 22-25, F 2 Responses May 22, 2014

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    I was a sophomore in college

    and he was a senior. Something about him being older made it feel so right…he was charming, mature, and the life of the party type of guy. Not to mention he was tall dark and handsome, everyone called him “Big Ben” because he was 6’5. I was a biology major, always...
    EmmaCollins EmmaCollins 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 31, 2014

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    No More Abuse

    I was in a relationship for 7 years with what I thought was a great man, until one day!! He had done everything right (in my eyes) up until that point. I had noticed certain signs before, but refused to acknowledge it. Like the jealously became to be too much. See I was an...
    completenwhole completenwhole 36-40, F 2 Responses Oct 14, 2013

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    What is it about DV that just sticks with us

    for so long? I think it affects every relationship that I experience...maybe this is not a bad thing. I am wiser and just more aware-I move on everyday. Oh, by the way, I read this great book on Domestic Violence the other day "Beneath Dreary" (got it on google books).... Anyway...
    AramatLynn AramatLynn 46-50, F Jan 25

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    guidness24 guidness24 26-30 5 Responses Nov 13, 2014

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    Lucky Escape

    When I met my husband he was so loving and gentle I never thought he could ever hurt me. After three years of marriage and the birth of our son he hit me for the first time, it was a slap across the face literally and shocked me to complete tears. I believed he was sorry and...
    Monkeynut1 Monkeynut1 22-25 Jun 19, 2013

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    I am not a recent survivor.

    I left my husband a little over three years ago. In some ways I am coping much better than three years ago. In other ways I am not. The euphoria of being free and finally getting out has worn off. About a year after I left, I felt the entire world was open to me. Now I...