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I Am a Victim of Domestic Violence

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 2,689 People

    I'm feeling very hopeless

    and overwhelmed. I've been married for almost 17 years to an emotionally abusive narcissistic alcoholic. It wasn't until about four years ago that I realized there was something wrong. That it wasn't all my fault and me not being enough. Everyone else loves him. He's very good...
    kmn789 kmn789 36-40, F 3 Responses Aug 22, 2014

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    I am going through a very messy break up at the

    moment and I need help and guidance. I have started a blog with all my experiences: diariesofdomesticviolence.blogspot.com.au/ I have been abused both sexually and physically by my Indian partner for nearly 5 years and even by his mum and his sister. He is also a policeman...
    melek1 melek1 22-25, F 1 Response Jun 21

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    Take The Night Back All They've Stolen All We Took From You

    I just wanted to stop by and drop a little song of support for y'all.  You all are inspirations to other s who need help.  I was suffering with some memories of a past situation and found this site and this group and through your words and wisdom you helped me past a dark part...
    Aether71 Aether71 36-40, M 6 Responses Jul 29, 2011

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    Survivor

    That's what my social worker tells me when we visit and talk. Your not a victim your a survivor.    I see women who are TRUE survivors.  The ones who survive horrors.  I don't see myself as that.  I know women wear it like a proud badge of strength in some cases.  A...
    flodials flodials 41-45, F 8 Responses Jul 11, 2012

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    Life can sometimes be very tough

    and I belive that making mistakes gives you a chance to learn from them. I had my son when I was young and even though he is the best thing that ever happened to me his dad was the worst! he abused me and controlled me. I was lucky enough to see what he was doing and I left him...
    CB2788 CB2788 26-30, F 2 Responses Jun 9

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    it's been two months plus.

    he is still in jail and we are headed to another hearing. I'm getting weaker. I don't want to do this. I want it to go away. I want my life back. I miss him so much. I want to hear his voice. I'm so sorry this happened. everydY is a fake. every night I still cry. he has to hate...
    twofourgone twofourgone 46-50, F 2 Responses May 9

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    So me and my fiancé had an argument earlier,

    this came up because one of his friends had beat up his girlfriend and she ended up posting the pictures on Facebook. Then he tells me look at her face now that's actually abuse, what I do to you is nothing compared to that she has bruises and she's bleeding. So basically he...
    jazzysymone6 jazzysymone6 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 30

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    My friends made me feel safe.

    I called my only two friends after my husband had thrown the supper I'd cooked him in the bed with me while I slept. I called the wife(my bff's are married to each other) and she calmed me down and got me to stop crying. It was very late and she was very patient and sweet. She...
    Catsoutdabag Catsoutdabag 31-35, F 1 Response Feb 27, 2014

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    I was married to my abuser

    for 14 years. We divorced in 2002 and he has always hassled me off and on - maybe once in 12 months - since then. Unfortunately, I got back on his radar this Spring and since then, his 'visits' have been almost fortnightly. He beats me and forces me to have sex with him. I am...
    2ndtrombone 2ndtrombone 46-50, F 2 Responses Jul 22

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    Finally stayed at a new lovely home.

    I watched sunset from my big windows last night. It was an amazing view. I am lucky! Still my ex bothers me. Text like thousand times a day. He even show up at my work. He realized that he lost me but refused to accept that. He use my money to buy many movies. S h I t. I had...
    girlyloveorange girlyloveorange 31-35, F 4 Responses Nov 19, 2014

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    $217 to Hit Your Wife With a Truck, Then Teach University Ethics In Idaho

    No one believes that Jim could be violent.  He's a white male philosophy professor.  No one could believe that I would be the kind of woman who would participate in the abuse.  I'm bright and outspoken.    There were several episodes of...
    Learning Learning 46-50, F 7 Responses Sep 14, 2007

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    12 month sober from what felt like the most

    dramatic, painful, irrecoverable 2 years and a half of my life. Yet the worst part is I could have walked away before it got out of hand But like an addiction.. the deeper the love grows the harder it is to walk away. I am writing this to tell you my story so I can...
    ffjpp ffjpp 18-21, F Jul 5

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    Do you like scrambled eggs?

    This morning I made him scrambled eggs. I've cooked them several times throughout my life never had any complaints; oh this time it was different. He reacted by complaining basically told me they tasted like sh#?! Then he proceeds to get up after more complaining. I say calmly...
    gidget9204 gidget9204 31-35, F 6 Responses Apr 12

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    When you've been a victim of domestic violence

    your whole world turns upside down. There is nothing more condradictory than the man who professes to love you harming you physically and emtionally. As all your thoughts are picked apart you begin to question everything....even you're reality... It's part denial.. It's hard to...
    Catsoutdabag Catsoutdabag 31-35, F 19 Responses May 3, 2014

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    I found out my husband is a cheater

    and so he beat me yesterday
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Jun 13

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    In Love With An Abuser, Trying to Lose the Love

    I thought it was love, an over the top tenderness, a magnetic sensuality that kept me waiting for the next time we were alone.... At first it wasn't abusive, just angry sometimes, what's a little insult with a bit of a slap or hair pulling???  But it got worse...
    dancingonthehill dancingonthehill 51-55, F 57 Responses Apr 3, 2009

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    A Year Has Passed

    A Year has Passed Like Socrates said, “Wonder brings wisdom.” If you do not wonder about something how will you ever learn?My abuser did not want me to have knowledge, because knowledge is powerful, and that is what he took away from me, because he wanted power and control...
    awarren98 awarren98 36-40, F 15 Responses Jun 3, 2011

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    I just want to make one comment on this subject.

    I was in an abusive relationship for 5 years and through four of those years I was abused almost on a daily basis. If it wasn't mental, it was physical. If it wasn't physical, it was mental. It's hard talking about it right now even after all these years because the mental and...
    goodwitch011070 goodwitch011070 41-45, F 3 Responses Mar 9

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    Well, Not Anymore

    My ex husband was abusive, physically, mentally and emotionally. I spent 5 years getting my *** beat, being put down, being forced to do things i didnt want to. Being raped on a regular basis. Yes ladies, your husband CAN rape you. It was pure hell. I ran when I had the right...
    kittylove30 kittylove30 31-35, F 9 Responses Jul 12, 2013

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    Still Terrified....

    it is hard to talk about but I want help... When I was 14 years old I met this guy who I instantly fell for. He was 16 at the time. I was a virgin, he wasn't. He cheated on me because I wouldn't have sex with him. But about five months in I gave in. A week later he went to jail...
    babymama16 babymama16 18-21, F 9 Responses Nov 3, 2013

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    It Came Out In Clumps

    The next day I washed my hair. It came out in clumps, some with skin still attached. I saved one and gave it to him. He looked at it squeamishly, like I had handed him a dead rat. He dropped it on the floor in disgust. “What?” I asked, “You tore it out, I thought you...
    lulabelle138 lulabelle138 31-35, F 2 Responses Sep 29, 2013

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    My boyfriend and I haven't

    even been together for a year yet and violence has already started. I've gotten hit, choked, slapped, dragged, literally stepped on, kicked and hair pulled. He's even spat in my face before. He's never punched me though and he justifies his actions by saying he doesn't even...
    seeyajess seeyajess 22-25, F 2 Responses a week ago

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    what if I am living the life I have always

    wanted... i was crazy in love with someone for one year, got engaged for another and now we're married for 3 years...he is the live of my life...so kind, supportive and considerate...everyday we get closer...he get me flowers and takes care of me very well...treating me like a...
    Sj1287 Sj1287 22-25, F 1 Response May 17

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    My mom. Every girl wants a woman they can look

    up to and depend on. Share secrets and do makeovers. Talk about boy problems. My mom, she's nothing like that. She was in a car accident 22 years ago. Since then she's been on every drug in the book and is very addicted to them. For the last three years it's gotten really...
    thefallenones thefallenones 13-15, F 5 Responses Sep 9, 2014

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    :(

    I have for many years now been putting up with domestic voilence.. It has ground me down so much i do want to die some times:( i dont know why I have stuck it for so long I think its coz I feel i could never live on my own. I feel very trapped by my husband and his hold he has...
    mamdo2 mamdo2 36-40, F 43 Responses Nov 8, 2012

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    My story is similar to those on here

    but it's not as bad. He hasn't assaulted me yet. And that's why I got out. When we met it was amazing, we both have the same sick sense of humor an would laugh for hours. Being in different states made us spend hours talking over the phone, but which also meant I didn't get to...
    jesselizabethjw jesselizabethjw 26-30, F 3 Responses Feb 28, 2014

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    Hi, Few months after moved out.

    I love my place to be alone and peace. It is a beautiful thing. Until...... It is about to start to analyze myself and daily routines to work and my daily home. I got stressed panic!. I got few other issues going on. I realized.... omg he effected me so much. I am so badly...
    girlyloveorange girlyloveorange 31-35, F 3 Responses Mar 21

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    My bf beats me and broje my arm.

    I need surgery again and he doesn't care.
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Jun 18

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    For the past 2 years I have been in a

    physically abusive relationship. It has been a cycle of fighting and making up. I have called the police numerous times and now my abuser is facing jail time. 8 months ago, we had a beautiful baby girl, and now for some reason I feel horrible that he is going to be incarcerated...
    korya901 korya901 22-25, F 3 Responses Mar 22

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    all I can say is that this hurts.

    I feel so alone so hopeless and helpless. I was with him for 8 1/2 years on and off. the words, his cruel ways, and the unresponsiveness to my feelings yet somehow some way I still adored him. I tried I gave him myself I did everything possible to make it work and to change...
    Capsizedheart Capsizedheart 31-35, F 16 hrs ago

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    I was in a physically abusive relationship

    for about a year. Now that we are no longer together it feels like he has some kind of hold on me. I really love this man but I gotta let these feelings go. I have no one to talk to and I feel like I'm losing my mind
    pillowprincess34 pillowprincess34 36-40 3 Responses Jul 18

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    My arm is bruised where his finger marks lie.

    My neck is sore where he grabbed me...over and over again. My legs has marks from where he gripped at my thigh. My head has abnormal bumps and swelling from the punch and the slamming against the car wall. My shirt was torn off leaving me humiliated. My brain was hurting...
    Rakagibo Rakagibo 36-40, F 1 Response Mar 19

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    I am unpopular. I am misunderstood.

    I am held down. I am hurt. I cry. I feel like it's my fault. I am confused. I am none of these things in the outside world, I am all of these things in my home. I am excellent at making things look like the shiny life that it is not. I am a sister, a lover, a friend, a...
    PKFM30 PKFM30 26-30, F Jun 8

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    Hello all. I am new to this site

    but would like to share my story. I have been in a emotional, verbal, and physical abusive relationship for 8 years. Just a few months ago, I escaped and tried to move on with my life by dating my co-worker who eventually turned out to be extremely emotional and verbal abusive...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses May 20

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    Lingering Effects

    I have written many stories. I have shared my pain and hopefully some of you have found some comfort or identify with the issues I have and am facing.  It has been several years since I physically left my abuser.  I tried to be civil and just go with the flow for a couple...
    flodials flodials 41-45, F 7 Responses Nov 28, 2012

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    Stop the Hate!

    This is a blog i wrote on March 3 on my myspace. I was so tired of hearing beaten women bashed!! I am a huge DV activist in my hometown and hope that by informing the masses beaten women can avoid further humiliation. STOP CALLING WOMEN WHO  ARE BEING BEATEN AND ABUSED...
    amyjo3 amyjo3 26-30, F 12 Responses Mar 23, 2009

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    I recently left my ex,

    again. This is the last. In past few years, he choked me..slapped me.... Threw me... Kicked me... And other things too. The Last Time I saw him he said he's gonna bash my brains in. He threw me across his living room . I went flying. He kept calling me a dog. He held his fists...
    amtired amtired 22-25, F 4 Responses Jul 16

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    Am I The Only Male

    I read quite a few of your stories and I find it interesting, but not surprising that I have not read one story by a male.  This sort of goes with my experience as a victim of domestic violence.  I was married very young to my high school sweetheart.  Everything...
    Aether71 Aether71 36-40, M 48 Responses Jun 3, 2010

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    I have been with my abusive husband

    for 21years from the age of 16 (he was then 18). For a long time he was so charming and he wanted to see me everyday, he told me i was his world, i made his life wonderful. I had finished my final year at school and one day he got up from watching tv with me on the sofa at my...
    KirstyF KirstyF 36-40, F 8 Responses Dec 8, 2013

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    I was with my x for 12 years

    and I wasn't even a human in those days you could feel the air blowing through me I was hollow and I have been away from him for the past two years I love it and my only regret is not leaving sooner I often wonder if I'll ever be able to love again but I'm still learning how to...
    Pammiii Pammiii 51-55 4 Responses Mar 28

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    I went to DVIS in my town today ; they called

    3-4 shelters for me and they're ALL full. Lost yet another job have a black eye bruises Idk what to do.
    gidget9204 gidget9204 31-35, F 1 Response May 26

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    my abuser is in jail.

    I cry everyday that I put him there. my ex H who remained a good friend has stepped in for support but doesn't understand my tears. I am full of guilt . my ex is a great person, father wants me back. why can't I get the man that beat me, who's scars and pain I see and feel...
    twofourgone twofourgone 46-50, F 4 Responses Apr 5

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    I Didn't See It Coming . . .

    When I met my husband, he couldn't do enough for me.  He was wonderful.  But as soon as the vows were taken he changed, slowly and subtly at first, then it sped up and became more obvious.  He isolated me from my friends and my family.  He constantly...
    LCLM LCLM 41-45, F 10 Responses Feb 19, 2008

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    I was with my bf for 7.

    5 years sense we were 14, we decided to move in together about 2 years ago today. When we lived together he became controlling at first over small things, he would constantly tell me things like "he's the only one there for me" and he would constantly remind me of how crappy my...
    SummerK267 SummerK267 22-25, F 2 Responses Jul 16

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    Was wondering whether you ever truly get over

    it? It is difficult when you have feelings of guilt, despair and sadness. Anyone heard of narcissists pretty much sums my ex up to a T. How do you think about yourself and put you first?? I find it very difficult as he blamed me for everything and also wanted to try and change...
    Brightheart89 Brightheart89 22-25, F 6 Responses Mar 26

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    I spent years with a charismatic

    and very violent man. I even ended up marrying him..on our wedding night he was arrested, dragging me up the street by my hair. He was charged with grevious bodily harm just before I managed to leave, but the charges didn't stick because he wouldn't let me leave the house to...
    saravonpein saravonpein 36-40, F 3 Responses Jul 10

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