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I Am a Victim of Domestic Violence

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 2,641 People

    Even though I left him,

    he still has control over me. We are still friends on facebook. Why? Because of safety reasons. And I'm afraid to make any moves, by removing him, due to his threats in the past. It has been 4 years and I'm still scared of him. You would think that I should be over it by now. I...
    CreoleItalianwoman CreoleItalianwoman 31-35, F 2 Responses Mar 6

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    My moms boyfriend has been in the picture

    for almost all my life and I'm 22. I can't really remember a time of peace in my moms house. I know we lived in a domestic violence shelter for a while until she decided to go back to him. That's when my eyes were actually opened. I must of been about 7 when I said something...
    PurpleHoneyBee PurpleHoneyBee 22-25, F 2 Responses Feb 10

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    why do I feel guilty

    that my abuser is in jail facing prison charges? I miss him and what I thought we had. should I refuse to testify? he's done this to others but the dropped charges. part of me hates him for hurting me ..
    justinsneedow justinsneedow 41-45, F 1 Response 6 days ago

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    I just got out of an abusive relationship.

    Can't believe it took me this long to see that yes, it was abuse. Not just him "losing control". And the most crazy part? I miss him. When things were good, they were really good. But when things were bad... I'm afraid. I guess I just need time to get over him.
    rachg87 rachg87 26-30, F 4 Responses Feb 26

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    Was wondering whether you ever truly get over

    it? It is difficult when you have feelings of guilt, despair and sadness. Anyone heard of narcissists pretty much sums my ex up to a T. How do you think about yourself and put you first?? I find it very difficult as he blamed me for everything and also wanted to try and change...
    Brightheart89 Brightheart89 22-25, F 3 Responses 2 days ago

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    I am a man who has been a victim of domestic

    violence. I have never lifted a hand and hit a woman, or man for that matter. I married a woman who had a background of domestic violence, first from her father and then from an abusive ex husband of 20 years who was ex army. When we got together I knew of her background but...
    alan61a alan61a 51-55, M 5 Responses Feb 19

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    I Didn't See It Coming . . .

    When I met my husband, he couldn't do enough for me.  He was wonderful.  But as soon as the vows were taken he changed, slowly and subtly at first, then it sped up and became more obvious.  He isolated me from my friends and my family.  He constantly...
    LCLM LCLM 41-45, F 10 Responses Feb 19, 2008

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    $217 to Hit Your Wife With a Truck, Then Teach University Ethics In Idaho

    No one believes that Jim could be violent.  He's a white male philosophy professor.  No one could believe that I would be the kind of woman who would participate in the abuse.  I'm bright and outspoken.    There were several episodes of...
    Learning Learning 46-50, F 7 Responses Sep 14, 2007

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    I just filed a protection order.

    I'm finally going to be free of him. I'm empowered, yet terrified.
    findinghome90 findinghome90 22-25, F 5 Responses Oct 21, 2014

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    My arm is bruised where his finger marks lie.

    My neck is sore where he grabbed me...over and over again. My legs has marks from where he gripped at my thigh. My head has abnormal bumps and swelling from the punch and the slamming against the car wall. My shirt was torn off leaving me humiliated. My brain was hurting...
    Rakagibo Rakagibo 36-40, F 1 Response Mar 19

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    Am I The Only Male

    I read quite a few of your stories and I find it interesting, but not surprising that I have not read one story by a male.  This sort of goes with my experience as a victim of domestic violence.  I was married very young to my high school sweetheart.  Everything...
    Aether71 Aether71 36-40, M 48 Responses Jun 3, 2010

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    Enduring A Monster...

    I was unprepared for the nightmare I got myself into when I was 18-years-old. Back then...they really didn't talk about abuse within romantic relationships like they do now. I was naive...very wet behind the ears...and not expecting a guy who said he loved me to treat me in such...
    KassieKat KassieKat 46-50, F 20 Responses Apr 25, 2011

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    IM FINALLY FREE FROM MY PARTNER OF ALMOST 15

    YEARS OF EMOTIONAL AND MENTAL ABUSE , I ALMOST STAYED OUT OF FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN BUT WITH A LOT OF POSITIVE FEEDBACK I WAS ABLE TO OVERCOME MY WORST FEARS WHICH WAS TAKING THE FIRST STEP TODAY I WOKE UP FEELING LOST BUT IM FREE AND I KNOW ITS GOING TO TAKE TIME TO GET OVER HIM...
    shela61 shela61 46-50, F 4 Responses Mar 5

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    What is it about DV that just sticks with us

    for so long? I think it affects every relationship that I experience...maybe this is not a bad thing. I am wiser and just more aware-I move on everyday. Oh, by the way, I read this great book on Domestic Violence the other day "Beneath Dreary" (got it on google books).... Anyway...
    AramatLynn AramatLynn 46-50, F 3 Responses Jan 25

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    I'm going through a custody battle.

    Unfortunately I have very little evidence of abuse. Just a couple of people who saw the bruises. Has anyone else gone through this? I'm in need of advice.
    taq1992 taq1992 22-25, F 1 Response Mar 4

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    I was really young when it started.

    16 and it didn't end until last month. I don't have a hard time expressing it because I've always been one to express myself. I was with the guy who I believed was the love of my life. He took my virginity and he made me laugh. Then it slowly went bad. He was emotionally...
    Nonalie Nonalie 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 8

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    So im gonna finally get this off my chest.

    Its been a dark cloud over my head for months. I want to change something that i cannot change. I am a victim of domestic violence. Its been haunting me for the past 6 months even though hes in prison now. I still miss him. Hes the father of my child and i do still love him. I...
    Heyababe Heyababe 18-21, F 6 Responses Dec 17, 2014

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    I've been a victim for 3 years

    and I couldn't let go of him until last month... I've been too scared to bring up the subject of breaking up but I did it last month. I felt proud. After years of being beaten and cheated on and raped by someone I thought I loved...
    tristful tristful 18-21, F 3 Responses Jan 26

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    For the past 2 years I have been in a

    physically abusive relationship. It has been a cycle of fighting and making up. I have called the police numerous times and now my abuser is facing jail time. 8 months ago, we had a beautiful baby girl, and now for some reason I feel horrible that he is going to be incarcerated...
    korya901 korya901 22-25, F 3 Responses 6 days ago

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    Finally stayed at a new lovely home.

    I watched sunset from my big windows last night. It was an amazing view. I am lucky! Still my ex bothers me. Text like thousand times a day. He even show up at my work. He realized that he lost me but refused to accept that. He use my money to buy many movies. S h I t. I had...
    girlyloveorange girlyloveorange 31-35, F 4 Responses Nov 19, 2014

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    Stop the Hate!

    This is a blog i wrote on March 3 on my myspace. I was so tired of hearing beaten women bashed!! I am a huge DV activist in my hometown and hope that by informing the masses beaten women can avoid further humiliation. STOP CALLING WOMEN WHO  ARE BEING BEATEN AND ABUSED...
    amyjo3 amyjo3 26-30, F 12 Responses Mar 23, 2009

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    When you've been a victim of domestic violence

    your whole world turns upside down. There is nothing more condradictory than the man who professes to love you harming you physically and emtionally. As all your thoughts are picked apart you begin to question everything....even you're reality... It's part denial.. It's hard to...
    Catsoutdabag Catsoutdabag 31-35, F 20 Responses May 3, 2014

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    He hit me again. No he grabbed me by my shirt

    threw me on the ground kicked me punched me in my head flicked my nose drug me across the floor picked me up about 3 more times threw me on the ground. I walked downstairs he follows me grabs me throws me an drags me up the stairs rips my shirt off and slams my head on the floor...
    lis924 lis924 22-25, F 2 Responses Jan 24

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    I was sexually abused

    as a child by multiple men. I grew up in a verbally abusive house hold. Struggled with self esteem issues all my life. Witnessed domestic abuse in my home. Then I fell in love. I feel in love with a woman and it felt like she saved me from what I knew as the world. I felt safe...
    fortheloveoflu fortheloveoflu 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 19

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    :(

    I have for many years now been putting up with domestic voilence.. It has ground me down so much i do want to die some times:( i dont know why I have stuck it for so long I think its coz I feel i could never live on my own. I feel very trapped by my husband and his hold he has...
    mamdo2 mamdo2 36-40, F 44 Responses Nov 8, 2012

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    My mom. Every girl wants a woman they can look

    up to and depend on. Share secrets and do makeovers. Talk about boy problems. My mom, she's nothing like that. She was in a car accident 22 years ago. Since then she's been on every drug in the book and is very addicted to them. For the last three years it's gotten really...
    thefallenones thefallenones 13-15, F 5 Responses Sep 9, 2014

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    I'm feeling very hopeless

    and overwhelmed. I've been married for almost 17 years to an emotionally abusive narcissistic alcoholic. It wasn't until about four years ago that I realized there was something wrong. That it wasn't all my fault and me not being enough. Everyone else loves him. He's very good...
    kmn789 kmn789 36-40, F 3 Responses Aug 22, 2014

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    What Now???

    So I was with this man for over 5 years....  I married him August 16, 2007.  I left for my honeymoon literally the day after my wedding to Hawaii.  Well, two weeks after we got back the name calling started.. Your fat... you don't do it for me anymore...
    pitbu11lover pitbu11lover 26-30, F 14 Responses Mar 12, 2009

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    The Unfortunate Family...

    sexually molested [step dad, uncle, babysitter (M)] and verbally/emotionally abused (mom). it lasts the rest of your life. with me, i try everyday to move forward and i do bit by bit. feel really bad about myself from time to time. but whatever does not kill me outright i battle...
    MuscleDjinn MuscleDjinn 41-45, M 4 Responses Aug 16, 2007

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    I'M A VICTIM OF DV, AND I JUST REALIZED THAT

    HISTORY REPEATED ITSELF I'M LIVING MY MOTHER NIGHTMARE, RIP .
    shela61 shela61 46-50, F Jan 25

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    Take The Night Back All They've Stolen All We Took From You

    I just wanted to stop by and drop a little song of support for y'all.  You all are inspirations to other s who need help.  I was suffering with some memories of a past situation and found this site and this group and through your words and wisdom you helped me past a dark part...
    Aether71 Aether71 36-40, M 6 Responses Jul 29, 2011

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    my best friend had it rough.

    . her mother suffered from domestic violence, her father used to beat her up. Ofcourse that affected her, she only told me the story once, not biograophy like (just facts and a storyline). I know what its like, trying to just tell the story but cant help get into details, having...
    KatherineSnow KatherineSnow 18-21, F Feb 3

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    Leaving isn't as easy

    as it seems or made out to be. People always say just leave get up and go when someone speaks on their DV experience. But you wanna stay. You hope things will change. You hope his 'in sorry' will be the last. You hope he means it this time when he says 'it won't happen again...
    lis924 lis924 22-25, F Mar 8

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    So tonight the scar on shoulder was noticed by

    someone who's important to me. I was asked how I got it and not wanting to lie i said DV. I spent 5yrs with him and 4yrs were excruciating. There was so many kinds of abuse in that relationship I can't even find the beginning. I one time lost 30lbs in less than 6mos of being...
    goodwitch011070 goodwitch011070 41-45, F 2 Responses Mar 17

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    I am a victim of physical

    and emotional abuse, I am 25 and met him when I was 19. As many people say, they are charming at first and seemed very clever and manipulative with his words. It was an unhealthy relationship but we kept at it. Although I only really knew that I was a victim of emotional abuse...
    Brightheart89 Brightheart89 22-25, F 4 Responses Jan 16

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    Still Terrified....

    it is hard to talk about but I want help... When I was 14 years old I met this guy who I instantly fell for. He was 16 at the time. I was a virgin, he wasn't. He cheated on me because I wouldn't have sex with him. But about five months in I gave in. A week later he went to jail...
    babymama16 babymama16 18-21, F 8 Responses Nov 3, 2013

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    In Love With An Abuser, Trying to Lose the Love

    I thought it was love, an over the top tenderness, a magnetic sensuality that kept me waiting for the next time we were alone.... At first it wasn't abusive, just angry sometimes, what's a little insult with a bit of a slap or hair pulling???  But it got worse...
    dancingonthehill dancingonthehill 51-55, F 57 Responses Apr 3, 2009

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    Yelling and screaming,

    that's all that ever happened for 18 years, yelling and screaming until that Sunday afternoon after church on March 2nd. Our anniversary actually. He totally melted down. He hit me in the chest and it knocked me off balance and I fell backwards hitting my shoulder on the cat...
    Scottishgirl65 Scottishgirl65 46-50, F 2 Responses Feb 2

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    I have been with my abusive husband

    for 21years from the age of 16 (he was then 18). For a long time he was so charming and he wanted to see me everyday, he told me i was his world, i made his life wonderful. I had finished my final year at school and one day he got up from watching tv with me on the sofa at my...
    KirstyF KirstyF 36-40, F 8 Responses Dec 8, 2013

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    My friends made me feel safe.

    I called my only two friends after my husband had thrown the supper I'd cooked him in the bed with me while I slept. I called the wife(my bff's are married to each other) and she calmed me down and got me to stop crying. It was very late and she was very patient and sweet. She...
    Catsoutdabag Catsoutdabag 31-35, F 1 Response Feb 27, 2014

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    A Year Has Passed

    A Year has Passed Like Socrates said, “Wonder brings wisdom.” If you do not wonder about something how will you ever learn?My abuser did not want me to have knowledge, because knowledge is powerful, and that is what he took away from me, because he wanted power and control...
    awarren98 awarren98 36-40, F 15 Responses Jun 3, 2011

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    Well, Not Anymore

    My ex husband was abusive, physically, mentally and emotionally. I spent 5 years getting my *** beat, being put down, being forced to do things i didnt want to. Being raped on a regular basis. Yes ladies, your husband CAN rape you. It was pure hell. I ran when I had the right...
    kittylove30 kittylove30 31-35, F 8 Responses Jul 12, 2013

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    I can't seem to let go of the person I love

    with all my heart, even though inside he wishes he could smash my face So much he hates everything about me yet he won't leave.
    brokenh8rt brokenh8rt 26-30, F 2 Responses Jul 2, 2014

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    when I met my Bf I had just separated from my

    husband and here comes this extremely good looking blue eyed tall hansom guy that two of my really good friend's introduce me to. He had ho's **** together and I'm not saying my husband didn't, but my husband just liked to party on the weekends way to much looking back on it...
    sissieblue sissieblue 31-35, F Mar 6

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    They are forcing my abuser to come to my

    daughter's birthday party tomorrow. They say that I'm not thinking about her, because I didn't invite him. He's a dead beat dad and does nothing for her. And now my family is forcing me to do something that does not feel right. He's always breaking promises. And my daughter's at...
    CreoleItalianwoman CreoleItalianwoman 31-35, F 2 Responses Mar 7

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    Lingering Effects

    I have written many stories. I have shared my pain and hopefully some of you have found some comfort or identify with the issues I have and am facing.  It has been several years since I physically left my abuser.  I tried to be civil and just go with the flow for a couple...
    flodials flodials 41-45, F 7 Responses Nov 28, 2012

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