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I Am a Victim of Domestic Violence

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 2,648 People

    I Didn't See It Coming . . .

    When I met my husband, he couldn't do enough for me.  He was wonderful.  But as soon as the vows were taken he changed, slowly and subtly at first, then it sped up and became more obvious.  He isolated me from my friends and my family.  He constantly...
    LCLM LCLM 41-45, F 10 Responses Feb 19, 2008

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    They are forcing my abuser to come to my

    daughter's birthday party tomorrow. They say that I'm not thinking about her, because I didn't invite him. He's a dead beat dad and does nothing for her. And now my family is forcing me to do something that does not feel right. He's always breaking promises. And my daughter's at...
    CreoleItalianwoman CreoleItalianwoman 31-35, F 2 Responses Mar 7

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    I'M A VICTIM OF DV, AND I JUST REALIZED THAT

    HISTORY REPEATED ITSELF I'M LIVING MY MOTHER NIGHTMARE, RIP .
    shela61 shela61 46-50, F Jan 25

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    I'm feeling very hopeless

    and overwhelmed. I've been married for almost 17 years to an emotionally abusive narcissistic alcoholic. It wasn't until about four years ago that I realized there was something wrong. That it wasn't all my fault and me not being enough. Everyone else loves him. He's very good...
    kmn789 kmn789 36-40, F 3 Responses Aug 22, 2014

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    I can't seem to let go of the person I love

    with all my heart, even though inside he wishes he could smash my face So much he hates everything about me yet he won't leave.
    brokenh8rt brokenh8rt 26-30, F 2 Responses Jul 2, 2014

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    My friends made me feel safe.

    I called my only two friends after my husband had thrown the supper I'd cooked him in the bed with me while I slept. I called the wife(my bff's are married to each other) and she calmed me down and got me to stop crying. It was very late and she was very patient and sweet. She...
    Catsoutdabag Catsoutdabag 31-35, F 1 Response Feb 27, 2014

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    I just filed a protection order.

    I'm finally going to be free of him. I'm empowered, yet terrified.
    findinghome90 findinghome90 22-25, F 5 Responses Oct 21, 2014

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    Lingering Effects

    I have written many stories. I have shared my pain and hopefully some of you have found some comfort or identify with the issues I have and am facing.  It has been several years since I physically left my abuser.  I tried to be civil and just go with the flow for a couple...
    flodials flodials 41-45, F 7 Responses Nov 28, 2012

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    Enduring A Monster...

    I was unprepared for the nightmare I got myself into when I was 18-years-old. Back then...they really didn't talk about abuse within romantic relationships like they do now. I was naive...very wet behind the ears...and not expecting a guy who said he loved me to treat me in such...
    KassieKat KassieKat 46-50, F 19 Responses Apr 25, 2011

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    Take The Night Back All They've Stolen All We Took From You

    I just wanted to stop by and drop a little song of support for y'all.  You all are inspirations to other s who need help.  I was suffering with some memories of a past situation and found this site and this group and through your words and wisdom you helped me past a dark part...
    Aether71 Aether71 36-40, M 6 Responses Jul 29, 2011

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    My mom. Every girl wants a woman they can look

    up to and depend on. Share secrets and do makeovers. Talk about boy problems. My mom, she's nothing like that. She was in a car accident 22 years ago. Since then she's been on every drug in the book and is very addicted to them. For the last three years it's gotten really...
    thefallenones thefallenones 13-15, F 5 Responses Sep 9, 2014

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    Survivor

    That's what my social worker tells me when we visit and talk. Your not a victim your a survivor.    I see women who are TRUE survivors.  The ones who survive horrors.  I don't see myself as that.  I know women wear it like a proud badge of strength in some cases.  A...
    flodials flodials 41-45, F 8 Responses Jul 11, 2012

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    why do I feel guilty

    that my abuser is in jail facing prison charges? I miss him and what I thought we had. should I refuse to testify? he's done this to others but the dropped charges. part of me hates him for hurting me ..
    justinsneedow justinsneedow 41-45, F 3 Responses Mar 22

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    For the last 2 years I've been in

    and out of both an emotionally and physically abusive relationship. Recently we split up because I finally had enough! But I'm not at all over what has happened, which is why I do not classify myself a surviver. Im also afraid that if I don't find a way to deal with this that I...
    nosleep08 nosleep08 22-25, F 4 Responses Feb 21

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    I just got out of an abusive relationship.

    Can't believe it took me this long to see that yes, it was abuse. Not just him "losing control". And the most crazy part? I miss him. When things were good, they were really good. But when things were bad... I'm afraid. I guess I just need time to get over him.
    rachg87 rachg87 26-30, F 4 Responses Feb 26

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    I Am No Longer a Victim

     "I'm sorry, you just make me so mad". How many times I've heard that, I thought as I rubbed my swollen cheek.   It started out perfect, I met a man that was handsome, smart, and could make anyone laugh. He was the life of the party. Everyone thought he was...
    vanilla vanilla 26-30, F 15 Responses Jul 8, 2007

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    I am a man who has been a victim of domestic

    violence. I have never lifted a hand and hit a woman, or man for that matter. I married a woman who had a background of domestic violence, first from her father and then from an abusive ex husband of 20 years who was ex army. When we got together I knew of her background but...
    alan61a alan61a 51-55, M 5 Responses Feb 19

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    My story is similar to those on here

    but it's not as bad. He hasn't assaulted me yet. And that's why I got out. When we met it was amazing, we both have the same sick sense of humor an would laugh for hours. Being in different states made us spend hours talking over the phone, but which also meant I didn't get to...
    jesselizabethjw jesselizabethjw 26-30, F 3 Responses Feb 28, 2014

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    I wrote about this once

    but never said who did it and I still won't but I keep thinking about it and I feel I need to get it out... I told a few of my family members but nothing happened.. This person and I got into an argument... I can't remember much but somehow I ended up on the floor.... Then this...
    LeahLovee LeahLovee 16-17, F 5 Responses Apr 6

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    Stop the Hate!

    This is a blog i wrote on March 3 on my myspace. I was so tired of hearing beaten women bashed!! I am a huge DV activist in my hometown and hope that by informing the masses beaten women can avoid further humiliation. STOP CALLING WOMEN WHO  ARE BEING BEATEN AND ABUSED...
    amyjo3 amyjo3 26-30, F 12 Responses Mar 23, 2009

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    my best friend had it rough.

    . her mother suffered from domestic violence, her father used to beat her up. Ofcourse that affected her, she only told me the story once, not biograophy like (just facts and a storyline). I know what its like, trying to just tell the story but cant help get into details, having...
    KatherineSnow KatherineSnow 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 3

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    There are numerous older men in the world

    who are single and seeking someone special in their life. For all such men, AgeMeet.com has been created as a reliable online platform to find women for dating and companionship. The spokesperson reports that many older men have started finding perfect companions through their...
    alisoncc11 alisoncc11 26-30, F Mar 5

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    I'm going through a custody battle.

    Unfortunately I have very little evidence of abuse. Just a couple of people who saw the bruises. Has anyone else gone through this? I'm in need of advice.
    taq1992 taq1992 22-25, F 1 Response Mar 4

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    A Year Has Passed

    A Year has Passed Like Socrates said, “Wonder brings wisdom.” If you do not wonder about something how will you ever learn?My abuser did not want me to have knowledge, because knowledge is powerful, and that is what he took away from me, because he wanted power and control...
    awarren98 awarren98 36-40, F 15 Responses Jun 3, 2011

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    Yelling and screaming,

    that's all that ever happened for 18 years, yelling and screaming until that Sunday afternoon after church on March 2nd. Our anniversary actually. He totally melted down. He hit me in the chest and it knocked me off balance and I fell backwards hitting my shoulder on the cat...
    Scottishgirl65 Scottishgirl65 46-50, F 2 Responses Feb 2

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    Wow. Every day is worse He is being

    so mean I don't wanna live.
    gidget9204 gidget9204 31-35, F 16 Responses Apr 9

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    My arm is bruised where his finger marks lie.

    My neck is sore where he grabbed me...over and over again. My legs has marks from where he gripped at my thigh. My head has abnormal bumps and swelling from the punch and the slamming against the car wall. My shirt was torn off leaving me humiliated. My brain was hurting...
    Rakagibo Rakagibo 36-40, F 1 Response Mar 19

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    Well, Not Anymore

    My ex husband was abusive, physically, mentally and emotionally. I spent 5 years getting my *** beat, being put down, being forced to do things i didnt want to. Being raped on a regular basis. Yes ladies, your husband CAN rape you. It was pure hell. I ran when I had the right...
    kittylove30 kittylove30 31-35, F 8 Responses Jul 12, 2013

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    why do I feel guilty

    that my abuser is in jail facing prison charges? I miss him and what I thought we had. should I refuse to testify? he's done this to others but the dropped charges. part of me hates him for hurting me ..
    justinsneedow justinsneedow 41-45, F 1 Response Mar 22

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    Was wondering whether you ever truly get over

    it? It is difficult when you have feelings of guilt, despair and sadness. Anyone heard of narcissists pretty much sums my ex up to a T. How do you think about yourself and put you first?? I find it very difficult as he blamed me for everything and also wanted to try and change...
    Brightheart89 Brightheart89 22-25, F 3 Responses Mar 26

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    $217 to Hit Your Wife With a Truck, Then Teach University Ethics In Idaho

    No one believes that Jim could be violent.  He's a white male philosophy professor.  No one could believe that I would be the kind of woman who would participate in the abuse.  I'm bright and outspoken.    There were several episodes of...
    Learning Learning 46-50, F 7 Responses Sep 14, 2007

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    When you've been a victim of domestic violence

    your whole world turns upside down. There is nothing more condradictory than the man who professes to love you harming you physically and emtionally. As all your thoughts are picked apart you begin to question everything....even you're reality... It's part denial.. It's hard to...
    Catsoutdabag Catsoutdabag 31-35, F 19 Responses May 3, 2014

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    IM FINALLY FREE FROM MY PARTNER OF ALMOST 15

    YEARS OF EMOTIONAL AND MENTAL ABUSE , I ALMOST STAYED OUT OF FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN BUT WITH A LOT OF POSITIVE FEEDBACK I WAS ABLE TO OVERCOME MY WORST FEARS WHICH WAS TAKING THE FIRST STEP TODAY I WOKE UP FEELING LOST BUT IM FREE AND I KNOW ITS GOING TO TAKE TIME TO GET OVER HIM...
    shela61 shela61 46-50, F 3 Responses Mar 5

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    So tonight the scar on shoulder was noticed by

    someone who's important to me. I was asked how I got it and not wanting to lie i said DV. I spent 5yrs with him and 4yrs were excruciating. There was so many kinds of abuse in that relationship I can't even find the beginning. I one time lost 30lbs in less than 6mos of being...
    goodwitch011070 goodwitch011070 41-45, F 2 Responses Mar 17

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    Even though I left him,

    he still has control over me. We are still friends on facebook. Why? Because of safety reasons. And I'm afraid to make any moves, by removing him, due to his threats in the past. It has been 4 years and I'm still scared of him. You would think that I should be over it by now. I...
    CreoleItalianwoman CreoleItalianwoman 31-35, F 2 Responses Mar 6

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    :(

    I have for many years now been putting up with domestic voilence.. It has ground me down so much i do want to die some times:( i dont know why I have stuck it for so long I think its coz I feel i could never live on my own. I feel very trapped by my husband and his hold he has...
    mamdo2 mamdo2 36-40, F 44 Responses Nov 8, 2012

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    I was with my x for 12 years

    and I wasn't even a human in those days you could feel the air blowing through me I was hollow and I have been away from him for the past two years I love it and my only regret is not leaving sooner I often wonder if I'll ever be able to love again but I'm still learning how to...
    Pammiii Pammiii 51-55 4 Responses Mar 28

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    In Love With An Abuser, Trying to Lose the Love

    I thought it was love, an over the top tenderness, a magnetic sensuality that kept me waiting for the next time we were alone.... At first it wasn't abusive, just angry sometimes, what's a little insult with a bit of a slap or hair pulling???  But it got worse...
    dancingonthehill dancingonthehill 51-55, F 57 Responses Apr 3, 2009

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    my abuser is in jail.

    I cry everyday that I put him there. my ex H who remained a good friend has stepped in for support but doesn't understand my tears. I am full of guilt . my ex is a great person, father wants me back. why can't I get the man that beat me, who's scars and pain I see and feel...
    twofourgone twofourgone 41-45, F 4 Responses Apr 5

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    Am I The Only Male

    I read quite a few of your stories and I find it interesting, but not surprising that I have not read one story by a male.  This sort of goes with my experience as a victim of domestic violence.  I was married very young to my high school sweetheart.  Everything...
    Aether71 Aether71 36-40, M 48 Responses Jun 3, 2010

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    I've been a victim for 3 years

    and I couldn't let go of him until last month... I've been too scared to bring up the subject of breaking up but I did it last month. I felt proud. After years of being beaten and cheated on and raped by someone I thought I loved...
    tristful tristful 18-21, F 3 Responses Jan 26

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    My moms boyfriend has been in the picture

    for almost all my life and I'm 22. I can't really remember a time of peace in my moms house. I know we lived in a domestic violence shelter for a while until she decided to go back to him. That's when my eyes were actually opened. I must of been about 7 when I said something...
    PurpleHoneyBee PurpleHoneyBee 22-25, F 2 Responses Feb 10

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    I have been with my abusive husband

    for 21years from the age of 16 (he was then 18). For a long time he was so charming and he wanted to see me everyday, he told me i was his world, i made his life wonderful. I had finished my final year at school and one day he got up from watching tv with me on the sofa at my...
    KirstyF KirstyF 36-40, F 8 Responses Dec 8, 2013

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    I was really young when it started.

    16 and it didn't end until last month. I don't have a hard time expressing it because I've always been one to express myself. I was with the guy who I believed was the love of my life. He took my virginity and he made me laugh. Then it slowly went bad. He was emotionally...
    Nonalie Nonalie 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 8

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    Leaving isn't as easy

    as it seems or made out to be. People always say just leave get up and go when someone speaks on their DV experience. But you wanna stay. You hope things will change. You hope his 'in sorry' will be the last. You hope he means it this time when he says 'it won't happen again...
    lis924 lis924 22-25, F 1 Response Mar 8

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    I Did It.

    I called the police. He's in a cell right now. Court in 4 hours. I'll never let this happen again.
    AlexSparky AlexSparky 18-21, F 9 Responses Sep 13, 2013

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