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I Am a Woman In a Sexless Marriage

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 4,104 People

    I Live In A Sexless Marriage Already... But I'm Getting Married In July...

    I hope that in writing this, I'm not sending all of my heart into the open, only to get nothing in return... I have raked the internet for any and all hope and help for our relationship, and somehow I was led to this site. I hope this was not a coincidence. A bit about me...
    WillowD WillowD 22-25, F 72 Responses Mar 26, 2011

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    So, my fiancé and I got married.

    That was seven years ago. That is the day my whole world changed. It is almost like after marrying, my husband thought....... I got her now. I can be myself and let my true self out, along with all my secrets and there is nothing she can do about it but accept it. It's like he...
    Confucius125 Confucius125 36-40, F 21 Responses Dec 26, 2013

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    Finally, I Moved Out...

    Folks,It’s really rather ironical but it was a marriage counselor with 37 years of expertise, who advised me to walk out of my marriage.My husband obviously is very upset with her but I finally see that my marriage is not going to last no matter what I do.I have moved out and...
    horny39 horny39 41-45, F 36 Responses Mar 16, 2011

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    So, my home team was playing on MNF.

    I am out of town, on my own. Told h I was going to bar to watch game. Game's been over 2 hours, having a great time (we won). Men flirting with me, feeling the power of Woman. H texts why aren't u home? Said I'm leaving when my playlist on jukebox is over. He's sulking and...
    Candymaker Candymaker 41-45, F 4 Responses Sep 9

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    My husband and I are just married this year.

    He comes from a strict religious upbringing and so he was a virgin at the time we married. I was not. Anyway, he wanted to “save himself”, his virginity that is, until our wedding night and so we never had sex before that time. When I agreed to marry him, I was aware and...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Aug 31

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    We've been a couple for 22 years,

    married for 14 years. It's been more than 5 years since we've had sex. He says he's never cheated. I've never cheated. For some reason my libido just skyrocketed a few months ago. I'm horny all the time, crushing like a teenager on a man I work with, having amazing fantasies...
    MargretPearl MargretPearl 41-45, F 4 Responses Sep 25

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    I am 32 and have 2 kids.

    .life is good and normal...but I have this one problem that I cannot fathom... Have any of u felt this way..my hubby n I had loads of issues first few years of marriage that we got past..but everytime he touches me I am.not aroused at all..usually he will never make a move..in...
    NatKey NatKey 31-35, F 9 Responses Apr 19

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    What happened to the have

    and to 'hold' sure as hell try to understand but slowly losing all faith in our marriage.
    saxappeal saxappeal 46-50, F 4 Responses Sep 21

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    I am grateful for reading other stories

    and that I am not alone! My husband and I have been married for 9 years. The sex is always great, but has NEVER been frequent. There was always an excuse as to why not. Now all of the excuses have been disproven and the truth is he has no idea why he has no sex drive. We have...
    frustratedbb frustratedbb 26-30, F 9 Responses Jan 6

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    Not For Long!

    I am actually on my way out.  My move out date is December 26th, yippee!  The sexlessness was just a symptom of our greater problems, but it was the one symptom that made me wake up and smell the coffee.  We have two beautiful boys that I want not to grow up...
    texaschickie texaschickie 31-35, F 25 Responses Dec 10, 2007

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    my husband has a very libido the last few

    months due to work related stress and lack of sleep on a daily basis. we've talked about it and he knows how drastic the change is and is working on it.. but other than getting a new job we don't really know how to increase it again.. any ideas?
    bakerv bakerv 22-25, F 3 Responses Sep 1

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    Letter To My Husband

    The following is the letter that I plan to give my H on Monday. He has a therapy appointment on Monday. I am hoping his therapist can help him deal with it all. Dear H, I have decided to write to you so that I can get my feelings/thoughts across in a clear manner.     I...
    ANewLife4Me ANewLife4Me 46-50, F 19 Responses Feb 4, 2012

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    Deedle623 Deedle623 51-55, F 3 Responses Sep 18

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    Guilt

    This always happens. We had a confrontation today. Well if you could call it that. It started with me calling him out on some really PA behavior. Then one thing led to another. I told him how I felt about some things including his total inability to be intimate with me...
    annhath annhath 46-50, F 10 Responses Nov 20, 2013

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    Just Tired

    I think that I am over this sexless marriage... I have been married for 5 years now... I have tried everything to get him to want me sexually.. I don't want to waste another 5 years living this way.... I feel so rejected and my pride is hurt... I take care of myself and I get hit...
    Cy0521 Cy0521 36-40, F 7 Responses Oct 17, 2013

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    Sexless Or Loveless..?

    I don't mean to pry into this group, but it was suggested to post original from 'I live in a sexless marriage' group. We Live In a Sexless Marriage...   Aside from real physical, medical and or psychological reasons for not having sex with your spouse, I do believe the...
    lonewolf11 lonewolf11 41-45, M 41 Responses Mar 16, 2008

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    I am trying to learn to cope in a sexless

    marriage, And was wondering if there are any other couples out there that would like to talk and relate with.
    ooomooo ooomooo 18-21, F 4 Responses Sep 3

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    I Need To Get Out

    I know my marriage is over. I'm just so afraid of actually doing something about it. We haven't had sex in 4 years. I'm so over being alone in this relationship. I'm just terrified to take the first step. I know he cheats, so that should make it easier right? It's not that easy...
    SouthernGirl1968 SouthernGirl1968 46-50, F 31 Responses Jul 16, 2013

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    I posted this elsewhere

    but looking for support from women who may be in the same position - Please excuse my rambling...I just need to get this out. I'm not looking for advice or people to tell me to "get out" I know what I should do it's just a matter of getting up the courage to do so. I've been...
    asterinight asterinight 31-35, F 11 Responses May 14

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    I Feel Terribly Guilty About Admitting This, But...

    Just putting the words out there makes me sick to my stomach...I am in a sexless marriage. Wow, I feel as if I failed...that somehow it's my destiny to be incredibly lonely and unwanted. I think it all started when i found out I was pregnant with my daughter over 11 years ago. I...
    tinkerbell71 tinkerbell71 41-45, F 15 Responses Jul 8, 2013

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    If You Think It's Worth Save'n

    To all of you out there in this situation.My husband is in fact my best friend.He knows me better than anyone on earth.We have a wonderful family!But sexualy our relationship has never been a romantic sexual one.And like alot of couples,we thought there must be something wrong...
    DivaReba DivaReba 31-35, F 24 Responses Oct 10, 2012

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    I am in pain tonight.

    Crying. I did it to myself. I went to h iPad and looked at his browsing history. Yes, I found ****. Not a ton. I know he is not an addict. I'm not anti-****, but it hurt my feelings terribly. I really don't care if he watches ****, but I feel like he could choose sex or...
    Candymaker Candymaker 41-45, F 3 Responses Aug 6

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    I'm a woman age 40 in a sexless marriage.

    Married almost four years and I bet we haven't even had sex two dozen times; sleep in separate beds, but I love him still. Well, I've been toying around with the idea of having a fling with an ex-coworker. He's in the same boat in his marriage...he's 44. We actually has lunch...
    blondi73 blondi73 36-40, F 11 Responses Aug 14

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    I met my husband in the 7th grade

    but we didn't connect until high school. I became pregnant in our Senior year and we were married while still in school (a week to the day after we found out I was pregnant) - basically pushed into marriage by my mother (she promised to help us w/money etc...which she didn't...
    olderbutnotdead olderbutnotdead 51-55, F 4 Responses Aug 25

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    How do you think Younger Women Older Men Dating

    & Older Women Younger Women Dating ? If you not mind , Could i recommend a good dating to you . agemeet#com is the best site for Younger Women Older Men Dating & Older Women Younger Women Dating .For 13 years, it have successfully helped people who celebrate age gap dating.No...
    youngerolderdating youngerolderdating 26-30, F 3 Responses Oct 10

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    Last night my husband asked me

    if we could try again. He wants to start over and get to know each other again, romantically and physically. He reminisced the first time he saw me. He remembered that I was wearing a red dress. I was new to the agency and trying to learn about the different departments, so...
    Deedle623 Deedle623 51-55, F 6 Responses Sep 19

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    I'm slowly drifting away.

    That once loyal wife I prided myself in being, is coming to a hault. Does he see it in my eyes? Can he sense it? I'm not sure & a big part of me doesn't care. Has he turned me into a hater of intimacy? So many things running through my head on this Sunday night
    gracehopepeace gracehopepeace 31-35, F 10 Responses Feb 2

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    I can't believe I am doing this.

    I have been married for just 10 years, and we have a young child My husband is attentive, plugged in, affectionate, and present. He is demonstrative with hand holding, caresses, kisses and hugs, all of that. But he has never been very interested in sex. It has gone from bad to...
    ChildOfDNM ChildOfDNM 41-45, F 6 Responses Jul 31

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    Hi I am a 28year old woman married to a 50 year

    old man that I do not love or have sex with neither does he have any feelings for me. I was a good girl when we got married while he had an inmoral life before which I did not find out until after I married him. He convinced me to marry him somehow and after we got married he...
    deleted deleted 26-30 7 Responses Sep 16

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    We've been married for 26 years.

    I am tall and very fit. I keep myself clean and well groomed. I know men find me attractive. But my husband is very inhibited. He does not french kiss or do any thing that requires the use of his mouth. I barely get a kiss. I had this hope when we got married that our sexual...
    Deedle623 Deedle623 51-55, F 5 Responses Jul 31

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    This Is What A Sexless Marriage Feels Like

    I found this on the internet. I wish I was wise enough to write this. I am not, Please read the following. It is one of the best stories I ever read. If you read it post a comment. Thank you This is What a Sexless Marriage Feels Like This post is not about virtue. It is not an...
    OutOfPatience OutOfPatience 61-65, M 67 Responses Oct 20, 2011

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    We Had The "talk", And What A Shock!

    So I finally worked up the courage to sit hubby down and have yet another “talk”, with him. The kids were both at sleepovers, and I thought this was the perfect time.  I just started out by saying I love him dearly, but these last few years I have felt more and more lonely...
    itsAmysturn itsAmysturn 41-45, F 51 Responses May 19, 2011

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    Is there any woman out there

    who lived in a sexless marriage and they were able to fix this problem? I just don't want to believe that my only option is divorce! WTF?
    Brownie27 Brownie27 26-30, F 5 Responses Aug 25

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    Had a horrible fight with husband again.

    He is so awful I am thinking about getting a divorce so bad I can't stand him anymore.
    kylee2013 kylee2013 36-40, F 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    In a sexless relationship

    for six years with otherwise wonderful man. Yesterday was our last anniversary because I have decided to leave this trap. I loved him with all my heart but feeble excuses and endless promises about changing and asking me to be patient are not enough anymore, rather I see through...
    Imoveryou Imoveryou 26-30, F 26 Responses Oct 1

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    My husband and I have been married

    for two years. Before we got married we talked about how important sex was to me, and he agreed. We had a great sex life up until we got married. As it stands now, the last time we had sex was three days after our wedding. I have tried everything, crying, begging, anger...
    janesdoe111 janesdoe111 41-45, F 12 Responses Dec 7, 2013

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    Love the Man, Miss the Intimacy.

    We have been married 4 years, together 6. In 4 years, we have had sex 1 time.  I pledged through good times and bad - but this is driving me crazy. He is wonderful, and I can say honestly i have NEVER gotten along as well with anyone else in my life - ever.  I trust...
    Sommerville Sommerville 36-40, F 31 Responses Sep 12, 2007

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    Am a Woman In a Sexless Marriage I Pretend - I

    fake to get along with my husband ..... I would try to talk to him about why there is no sex in our marriage ... I complained constantly, about his lack of envolment, why he wont do anything with me, or go anywhere with me ... For 2 years I tried, but he is happy to sit in his...
    westsideblues1 westsideblues1 41-45, F 11 Responses Jul 9

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    Do you think that if a man is coming up with

    excuses to not have sex: I'm really tired from work and just want to cuddle, I don't feel good, let's watch tv (knowing they will fall asleep). Is that normal??It seems to me that they may be getting it from somewhere else. Or is it a myth that guys want sex all the time?
    georgiana12 georgiana12 31-35, F 12 Responses Aug 17

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    I have been married for almost three years now.

    My husband and I have not had sex in months. I believe he enjoys his video game and social media instead. I've talked to him about it, asked if there was someone else. I am dedicated to my husband and our marriage. It's not like he has a wife who says no, I don't feel like it...
    MrsEG MrsEG 41-45, F 5 Responses Sep 22

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    It just sucks! It's a situation

    that apparently none of my closest gf's can comprehend. They don't believe that two ppl can live in the same house as basically housemates and NEVER have any physical contact. Their responses and attitudes towards my explanation of what has been going on, or rather lack of what...
    deleted deleted 26-30 7 Responses Sep 14

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    I have been married for nearly 27 years.

    We were only intimate during the years trying to have babies. I had 3 miscarriages and was able to have two kids. One going to be a senior in college and one junior in high school. We probably had less than 50 times of being intimate out of 27 years! I work full time all these...
    SoLost63 SoLost63 51-55, F 5 Responses May 13

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    I have been married for almost 17 years

    and having an affair with the same person for almost 8 years, off and on.
    funlecy1 funlecy1 46-50, F 9 Responses Sep 23

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    I Pretend

    I fake to get along with my husband ..... - I would try to talk to him about why there is no sex in our marriage ... - I complained constantly, about his lack of envolment, why he wont do anything with me, or go anywhere with me ... - For 2 years I tried, but he is happy to...
    westsideblues1 westsideblues1 41-45, F 14 Responses Jun 10, 2012

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    it's been quite awhile

    since I have posted on here...probably months now...last time I had just had a really bad day and vented on here and got some really hurtful private messages and nasty comments, so much so that I went off the site for awhile..it actually made a very dark time in my life that...
    suenit suenit 56-60, F 8 Responses Aug 16

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    I can do this right? I can walk away from a

    $150k plus income and 3 houses and maybe lose my business (that doesn't make any real money) and live on less than 50k and survive? Right? Because I want sex. And intimacy. And independence. I am strong enough, right?
    Candymaker Candymaker 41-45, F 10 Responses Aug 21

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    Well, I hope the third discussion about our

    state of non-sexual married life is the charm. The first talk resulted in a short spurt of Saturday morning efforts that petered out (pardon the pun). The second talk I suggested counseling but settled for the book "Sex after Fifty" as a compromise. I insisted that we take...
    Deedle623 Deedle623 51-55, F 6 Responses Sep 2

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    I am a man interested in the thoughts of WIaSM.

    For those of you who feel you are not ready to leave your marriage (for what ever reason - financial, children, other), how do you care for your needs? Accept? Outsource? Channel? What works?
    BradsBitts BradsBitts 36-40, M 4 Responses Oct 5

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    I know the feeling, well I shared my story on

    the other page but I would very glad to shared it on this forum. I have been in marriage for 5 years and last time my husband and I had sex was over 8 months ago. We usually do it twice or thrice a month. I am wondering why he's not asking for it or maybe he is just busy doing...
    MsLucky MsLucky 22-25, F 3 Responses Aug 4

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    Missing the touch of a man,

    the smell of him, the feeling of his body on me, our lips touching, our hands exploring each other
    naughtyflower69 naughtyflower69 41-45, F 4 Responses 10 hrs ago

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    So after spending so much time alone,

    lonely and frustrated, I started smoking again about 5 months ago. After quitting for 7 years. I have kept it from my H since he traveled so much. Now he has been home from travel for weeks and he finally put it together. He went in my purse this morning and found my cigarettes...
    Candymaker Candymaker 41-45, F 1 Response Aug 25

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    I am seeing a lawyer.

    I need support and validation and to hear other peoples stories who went through the terror of divorce and found contentment on the other side
    selfcompassion selfcompassion 51-55, F 11 Responses Sep 6

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    Related Experiences

    To my fellow suffers I have a question. Let me first say that I know I'm an idiot. I married my first wife when I was 26 y.o.a. and I had some red flags but I thought I could fix...
    Nick5211 Nick5211 51-55, M 4 Responses Oct 11

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