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I Am a Woman In a Sexless Marriage

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 3,985 People

    My Sexless Marriage To A Japanese Man

    I have been married for about 15 years. I love my husband but recently as a friend not as a lover. (I gave up 4 years ago trying to have a sexual relationship with him which is when I started to work on myself--getting in shape and facing my issues about men.) My husband and I...
    kim1958 kim1958 51-55, F 22 Responses Dec 22, 2010

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    my husband stopped having sex with me

    when I moved in. we had a six year marriage and he never consumated it. then he divorced me because an old GF friended him on FB, so he decided she was the love of his life. I am very attractive. I never understood and he would never talk about it. we went to...
    suedejmac suedejmac 46-50, F 1 Response May 16

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    I would never have sex with anyone else

    but my husband, I'm a true beleiver on till death do us part, but what can I do when my husband fails to fulfill my needs? ...he complained that he was tired from work and I understood. But how is it that you can fulfill your desire but get greedy when it comes to me?
    sharonwatson1210 sharonwatson1210 18-21, F 5 Responses May 20

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    Not For Long!

    I am actually on my way out.  My move out date is December 26th, yippee!  The sexlessness was just a symptom of our greater problems, but it was the one symptom that made me wake up and smell the coffee.  We have two beautiful boys that I want not to grow up...
    texaschickie texaschickie 31-35, F 25 Responses Dec 10, 2007

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    I'm slowly drifting away.

    That once loyal wife I prided myself in being, is coming to a hault. Does he see it in my eyes? Can he sense it? I'm not sure & a big part of me doesn't care. Has he turned me into a hater of intimacy? So many things running through my head on this Sunday night
    gracehopepeace gracehopepeace 31-35, F 10 Responses Feb 2

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    Adult attachment disorder sexless

    marriage- Does anyone have any suggestions as to where I can find more information? This describes my husband exactly.
    suedejmac suedejmac 46-50, F 2 Responses May 17

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    I got out 6 weeks ago.

    .. Heartbreaking but it was destroying me. He'd been wonderful for 3 years and then it was all gone. Iv found the last 2 years desperate. No affection except in public where I suspect he felt safe. It was all due to medication but he just would not talk about it. The effect in me...
    allisnotlost allisnotlost 56-60, F 1 Response 5 hrs ago

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    I Am Really Struggling In a Sexless Marriage

    I am grateful for the courage that it must have taken for you all to start this site and share your stories. I knew I couldn't be the only one but at times it sure feels like it. I m really struggling in a sexless marriage. My husband is a great guy wonderful father and the...
    sexlessinmechanicsville sexlessinmechanicsville 26-30, F 22 Responses Sep 23, 2007

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    dmedina513 dmedina513 36-40, M 1 Response Jun 28

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    I Need To Get Out

    I know my marriage is over. I'm just so afraid of actually doing something about it. We haven't had sex in 4 years. I'm so over being alone in this relationship. I'm just terrified to take the first step. I know he cheats, so that should make it easier right? It's not that easy...
    SouthernGirl1968 SouthernGirl1968 46-50, F 29 Responses Jul 16, 2013

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    I've only been married 9 months

    and I am in a sexless marriage. We are "trying to have a baby" and it feels like I have to force my husband to have sex. We maybe have sex once a month and it normal feels forced and not wanted. I am on fertility drugs and there were times when he couldn't get it up and we...
    firefly83 firefly83 26-30, F 5 Responses 6 days ago

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    I am 32 and have 2 kids.

    .life is good and normal...but I have this one problem that I cannot fathom... Have any of u felt this way..my hubby n I had loads of issues first few years of marriage that we got past..but everytime he touches me I am.not aroused at all..usually he will never make a move..in...
    NatKey NatKey 31-35, F 7 Responses Apr 19

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    My first husbands suicide left me with 2 small

    children. 9 years later I married a widowed man with 6 children...crazy huh? So raised all 8 kids things were ok, not great but ok! That all changed in 2009 when he had a cerebral aneurism. Weeks in a coma, changes a person forever, now this man sits like a child in front of me...
    sehardy sehardy 51-55, F 5 Responses Jul 6

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    Just Tired

    I think that I am over this sexless marriage... I have been married for 5 years now... I have tried everything to get him to want me sexually.. I don't want to waste another 5 years living this way.... I feel so rejected and my pride is hurt... I take care of myself and I get hit...
    Cy0521 Cy0521 36-40, F 7 Responses Oct 17, 2013

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    We Had The "talk", And What A Shock!

    So I finally worked up the courage to sit hubby down and have yet another “talk”, with him. The kids were both at sleepovers, and I thought this was the perfect time.  I just started out by saying I love him dearly, but these last few years I have felt more and more lonely...
    itsAmysturn itsAmysturn 41-45, F 52 Responses May 19, 2011

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    I met my husband when I was 27.

    We had some sex issues when we first got together but he, being 23, had only been with one other woman. Four years later and one year into our marriage, we are close to sexless. Once a month and it is very quick. Previously I was a very promiscuous woman and used sex as my...
    missy4ej missy4ej 31-35, F 2 Responses May 19

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    If You Think It's Worth Save'n

    To all of you out there in this situation.My husband is in fact my best friend.He knows me better than anyone on earth.We have a wonderful family!But sexualy our relationship has never been a romantic sexual one.And like alot of couples,we thought there must be something wrong...
    DivaReba DivaReba 31-35, F 20 Responses Oct 10, 2012

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    Guilt

    This always happens. We had a confrontation today. Well if you could call it that. It started with me calling him out on some really PA behavior. Then one thing led to another. I told him how I felt about some things including his total inability to be intimate with me...
    annhath annhath 46-50, F 8 Responses Nov 20, 2013

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    I am so tired of being in

    such a horrible stupid relationship or lack of a relationship! I know this is part of my exit strategy and plan but I just feel so hurt all the time I just absolutely hate being ignored it is probably the worst feeling ever I got married to a man who I thought loved me but I...
    Rena4 Rena4 31-35, F 4 Responses Jul 21

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    This Fool Is Clueless

    I just got rejected again. And he's acting like he don't know why I'm mad. **** this I'm having an affair.
    lisa49 lisa49 46-50, F 2 Responses Oct 6, 2013

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    WANTED! - Female for friendship

    and sexual chats. I live in a sex bored marriage even when we do have sex it's dull (and yes I have talked about it before anyone says "have you tried talking to her" gee why didn't I think of that!) I'm sure there are females in the same position wanting some excitement - Apply...
    andy8669 andy8669 26-30, M 1 Response Jun 22

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    Please Explain This to Me

    I don't understand.  I read your stories and you love your husbands, describe their good qualities and say, aside, from no sex, all is great.  I don't understand.  The no sex, no intimacy has eroded away at my feelings for my husband.  If he doesn't want to...
    emily50 emily50 46-50, F 12 Responses Feb 25, 2008

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    I posted this elsewhere

    but looking for support from women who may be in the same position - Please excuse my rambling...I just need to get this out. I'm not looking for advice or people to tell me to "get out" I know what I should do it's just a matter of getting up the courage to do so. I've been...
    asterinight asterinight 31-35, F 10 Responses May 14

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    I Feel Terribly Guilty About Admitting This, But...

    Just putting the words out there makes me sick to my stomach...I am in a sexless marriage. Wow, I feel as if I failed...that somehow it's my destiny to be incredibly lonely and unwanted. I think it all started when i found out I was pregnant with my daughter over 11 years ago. I...
    tinkerbell71 tinkerbell71 41-45, F 16 Responses Jul 8, 2013

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    I have been married for nearly 27 years.

    We were only intimate during the years trying to have babies. I had 3 miscarriages and was able to have two kids. One going to be a senior in college and one junior in high school. We probably had less than 50 times of being intimate out of 27 years! I work full time all these...
    SoLost63 SoLost63 51-55, F 5 Responses May 13

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    So we are not that old.

    ... My husband is not very active..... I don't know what do o
    maliposa maliposa 36-40 4 Responses 6 days ago

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    I am grateful for reading other stories

    and that I am not alone! My husband and I have been married for 9 years. The sex is always great, but has NEVER been frequent. There was always an excuse as to why not. Now all of the excuses have been disproven and the truth is he has no idea why he has no sex drive. We have...
    frustratedbb frustratedbb 26-30, F 8 Responses Jan 6

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    So, my fiancé and I got married.

    That was seven years ago. That is the day my whole world changed. It is almost like after marrying, my husband thought....... I got her now. I can be myself and let my true self out, along with all my secrets and there is nothing she can do about it but accept it. It's like he...
    Confucius125 Confucius125 36-40, F 21 Responses Dec 26, 2013

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    When we got married five years ago,

    I was 24 and he was 47. He was very kind, respectful and affluent. He made me feel good about myself in ways I never did before. The sex wasn't exciting but it was tender. Frankly, I had been "acting out" in so many self-destructive ways in the years before I met him, that a...
    gothette gothette 26-30, F 6 Responses 5 days ago

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    Well I have been married twice my first husband

    as it turned out decided he was gay and only married me to try and price to his family that he wasn't gay and stupid me I fell for it to come hone one day and find him with another man so that was the end of that my second marriage my husband won't touch me but when were out in...
    Rena4 Rena4 31-35, F 1 Response May 6

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    Finally, I Moved Out...

    Folks,It’s really rather ironical but it was a marriage counselor with 37 years of expertise, who advised me to walk out of my marriage.My husband obviously is very upset with her but I finally see that my marriage is not going to last no matter what I do.I have moved out and...
    horny39 horny39 41-45, F 34 Responses Mar 16, 2011

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    I feel mine would rather hold a burger

    and a beer ....I am done begging...just makes me feel desperate and then if I get it then I know its a chore he can mark off his list. Its depressing and does nothing for your selfesteem.
    Imnotdillusional Imnotdillusional 31-35, F 5 Responses May 8

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    Letter To My Husband

    The following is the letter that I plan to give my H on Monday. He has a therapy appointment on Monday. I am hoping his therapist can help him deal with it all. Dear H, I have decided to write to you so that I can get my feelings/thoughts across in a clear manner.     I...
    ANewLife4Me ANewLife4Me 46-50, F 21 Responses Feb 4, 2012

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    I Live In A Sexless Marriage Already... But I'm Getting Married In July...

    I hope that in writing this, I'm not sending all of my heart into the open, only to get nothing in return... I have raked the internet for any and all hope and help for our relationship, and somehow I was led to this site. I hope this was not a coincidence. A bit about me...
    WillowD WillowD 22-25, F 72 Responses Mar 26, 2011

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    This Is What A Sexless Marriage Feels Like

    I found this on the internet. I wish I was wise enough to write this. I am not, Please read the following. It is one of the best stories I ever read. If you read it post a comment. Thank you This is What a Sexless Marriage Feels Like This post is not about virtue. It is not an...
    OutOfPatience OutOfPatience 61-65, M 61 Responses Oct 20, 2011

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    What's Wrong With Him?

    I posted awhile back about my husband of nearly 20 years. We have been nearly sexless, like 3-4 times a year for several years now. I guess officially sexless is less than 10 times a year, so I am for sure. Then if you count the total minutes, very little foreplay, get on...
    itsAmysturn itsAmysturn 41-45, F 11 Responses Jun 25, 2011

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    We've been together 8 years married 4 years.

    We hold hands, cuddle, and kiss but that's it. We have sex 2 or 3 times a year over the past 3 years. I can't really talk to my friends. They would tell me to file for divorce. We still love each other. She is depressed and getting medical treatment. But how long am I supposed...
    phxwifey phxwifey 31-35, F 2 Responses Jun 17

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    How long does it take to say its OVER?

    Am I selfish to leave him coz he can't give me intimacy?
    luv4get luv4get 41-45, F 3 Responses Jul 9

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    I just found this site

    after a 'breakdown' with my husband about our sex life. I was watching Marriage Boot Camp and the therapist had the couples perform an exercise with puppets conveying to their partners their needs. When I went to commercial I went to the living room where my husband was and told...
    sxlm15 sxlm15 31-35, F 8 Responses May 25

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    I can sooooo relate!!

    !!! Have you ever shopped at joytoyshop.com? Best prices, assortment and free shipping over $69!
    Gildy Gildy 46-50, M Jul 20

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    Love the Man, Miss the Intimacy.

    We have been married 4 years, together 6. In 4 years, we have had sex 1 time.  I pledged through good times and bad - but this is driving me crazy. He is wonderful, and I can say honestly i have NEVER gotten along as well with anyone else in my life - ever.  I trust...
    Sommerville Sommerville 36-40, F 31 Responses Sep 12, 2007

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    There is a name for what has been happening to

    me all these years. I don't know if that makes me feel happy or sad. All I know is I am hurting so much. Someone, an old friend of mine, started flirting with me even though I am married for almost 14 years and it just helped bring so much to light for me about my relationship...
    Schmoo9 Schmoo9 41-45, F 12 Responses May 27

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    sharonwatson1210 sharonwatson1210 18-21, F May 20

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    Once again another night of yelling

    and tears and falling asleep alone only to feel my precious 6 month old little boy kicking inside me. I'm so frustrated and lonely yet my husband is just inches away from me. 😞😞😞
    kmbbb22 kmbbb22 22-25, F 8 Responses Feb 27

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    The Only Solution. In years of reading these

    posts about sexless marriage I have only ever seen one solution, whether people want it or not. The only solution I have ever seen here is that the relationship ends. The horny partner grieves, never the sexless one, then people move on and find someone else. There is no way to...
    will999 will999 61-65, M 2 Responses May 9

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    Please help me understand my husband,

    this is to all you knowledgable people.why is he overtly touchy feely and wanting to kiss me so much when he would rather never have sex again. It doesn't even enter his head to try for sex and I have been refused so much in my 25 year marriage that I can't even imitate anymore
    nanny1234 nanny1234 41-45, F 8 Responses Jul 12

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    I am not familiar with this site.

    .this is the 1st time I have ever even googled sexless marriage. My relationship has been on going for 2 wks shy of 10 yrs. The sex was amazing & frequent in the 1st 2 years. The most I had ever experienced..I was only 19 when we met he was 25. We married after 7 years of dating...
    90sChick 90sChick 26-30, F 5 Responses May 16

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    Sexless Or Loveless..?

    I don't mean to pry into this group, but it was suggested to post original from 'I live in a sexless marriage' group. We Live In a Sexless Marriage...   Aside from real physical, medical and or psychological reasons for not having sex with your spouse, I do believe the...
    lonewolf11 lonewolf11 41-45, M 40 Responses Mar 16, 2008

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    Really Confused.....Can Anyone Help Me Through This?

    I have been married for 3 1/2 years. Our 1st year of marriage I tried to be a wonderful wife and had sex with my husband about every other day. After visiting a friend in his home town, he had told me all of his friends were talking about how much they wished their wives wanted...
    Hopingforananswer Hopingforananswer 46-50, F 20 Responses Dec 2, 2013

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    I'm on my way out. We filed the papers to end

    our marriage yesterday, so in thirty to ninety days I will be single. It's a little sad. He and I both have said we never in a million years would have guessed we'd get divorced. I hope I never find myself in a sexless marriage again, but as horrible as being sex deprived was...
    couldbeheaven couldbeheaven 26-30, F 6 Responses Apr 1

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    I want to know if this is true that

    if we know we can't have it and then we can live normally without thinking and wanting it? This is the story I read about Ingrid and Chris split : Ingrid said she has No Sex for 7 years‏ Split: Ingrid and Chris pose happily before their divorce. She says she has been...
    findemmawoodhouse findemmawoodhouse 22-25, F 1 Response May 9

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    I feel like it might be time to ask someone in

    my family for help. I have kept my sexless marriage a well hidden secret for so long. The shame I feel is horrendous. How could I possibly explain this situation to my family? Any advice?
    Splityarn Splityarn 31-35, F 7 Responses May 22

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    It's hard to describe my life.

    I love my husband but due to his health he has to take a lot of medications that kill his sexual abilities. He had a poor sex drive before but it is a big fat zero now. He doesn't even try to pleasure or please me in anyway. It angers me and makes me feel less loved . He's a...
    raeden raeden 51-55, F 5 Responses Jun 16

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