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I Am a Woman In a Sexless Marriage

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 4,037 People

    Dloveski Dloveski 36-40, M 1 Response Jun 28

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    If You Think It's Worth Save'n

    To all of you out there in this situation.My husband is in fact my best friend.He knows me better than anyone on earth.We have a wonderful family!But sexualy our relationship has never been a romantic sexual one.And like alot of couples,we thought there must be something wrong...
    DivaReba DivaReba 31-35, F 22 Responses Oct 10, 2012

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    Finally, I Moved Out...

    Folks,It’s really rather ironical but it was a marriage counselor with 37 years of expertise, who advised me to walk out of my marriage.My husband obviously is very upset with her but I finally see that my marriage is not going to last no matter what I do.I have moved out and...
    horny39 horny39 41-45, F 36 Responses Mar 16, 2011

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    it's been quite awhile

    since I have posted on here...probably months now...last time I had just had a really bad day and vented on here and got some really hurtful private messages and nasty comments, so much so that I went off the site for awhile..it actually made a very dark time in my life that...
    suenit suenit 56-60, F 4 Responses Aug 16

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    Am a Woman In a Sexless Marriage I Pretend - I

    fake to get along with my husband ..... I would try to talk to him about why there is no sex in our marriage ... I complained constantly, about his lack of envolment, why he wont do anything with me, or go anywhere with me ... For 2 years I tried, but he is happy to sit in his...
    westsideblues1 westsideblues1 41-45, F 7 Responses Jul 9

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    Do you think that if a man is coming up with

    excuses to not have sex: I'm really tired from work and just want to cuddle, I don't feel good, let's watch tv (knowing they will fall asleep). Is that normal??It seems to me that they may be getting it from somewhere else. Or is it a myth that guys want sex all the time?
    georgiana12 georgiana12 31-35, F 12 Responses Aug 17

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    Really Confused.....Can Anyone Help Me Through This?

    I have been married for 3 1/2 years. Our 1st year of marriage I tried to be a wonderful wife and had sex with my husband about every other day. After visiting a friend in his home town, he had told me all of his friends were talking about how much they wished their wives wanted...
    Hopingforananswer Hopingforananswer 46-50, F 19 Responses Dec 2, 2013

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    So after spending so much time alone,

    lonely and frustrated, I started smoking again about 5 months ago. After quitting for 7 years. I have kept it from my H since he traveled so much. Now he has been home from travel for weeks and he finally put it together. He went in my purse this morning and found my cigarettes...
    Candymaker Candymaker 41-45, F 1 Response Aug 25

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    I met my husband in the 7th grade

    but we didn't connect until high school. I became pregnant in our Senior year and we were married while still in school (a week to the day after we found out I was pregnant) - basically pushed into marriage by my mother (she promised to help us w/money etc...which she didn't...
    olderbutnotdead olderbutnotdead 51-55, F 5 Responses Aug 25

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    I am 32 and have 2 kids.

    .life is good and normal...but I have this one problem that I cannot fathom... Have any of u felt this way..my hubby n I had loads of issues first few years of marriage that we got past..but everytime he touches me I am.not aroused at all..usually he will never make a move..in...
    NatKey NatKey 31-35, F 9 Responses Apr 19

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    I Live In A Sexless Marriage Already... But I'm Getting Married In July...

    I hope that in writing this, I'm not sending all of my heart into the open, only to get nothing in return... I have raked the internet for any and all hope and help for our relationship, and somehow I was led to this site. I hope this was not a coincidence. A bit about me...
    WillowD WillowD 22-25, F 74 Responses Mar 26, 2011

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    Please help me understand my husband,

    this is to all you knowledgable people.why is he overtly touchy feely and wanting to kiss me so much when he would rather never have sex again. It doesn't even enter his head to try for sex and I have been refused so much in my 25 year marriage that I can't even imitate anymore
    nanny1234 nanny1234 41-45, F 9 Responses Jul 12

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    So we are not that old.

    ... My husband is not very active..... I don't know what do o
    maliposa maliposa 36-40 4 Responses Jul 22

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    Not For Long!

    I am actually on my way out.  My move out date is December 26th, yippee!  The sexlessness was just a symptom of our greater problems, but it was the one symptom that made me wake up and smell the coffee.  We have two beautiful boys that I want not to grow up...
    texaschickie texaschickie 31-35, F 25 Responses Dec 10, 2007

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    Just Tired

    I think that I am over this sexless marriage... I have been married for 5 years now... I have tried everything to get him to want me sexually.. I don't want to waste another 5 years living this way.... I feel so rejected and my pride is hurt... I take care of myself and I get hit...
    Cy0521 Cy0521 36-40, F 7 Responses Oct 17, 2013

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    Is there any woman out there

    who lived in a sexless marriage and they were able to fix this problem? I just don't want to believe that my only option is divorce! WTF?
    Brownie27 Brownie27 26-30, F 5 Responses a week ago

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    We've been together 8 years married 4 years.

    We hold hands, cuddle, and kiss but that's it. We have sex 2 or 3 times a year over the past 3 years. I can't really talk to my friends. They would tell me to file for divorce. We still love each other. She is depressed and getting medical treatment. But how long am I supposed...
    phxwifey phxwifey 31-35, F 2 Responses Jun 17

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    WANTED! - Female for friendship

    and sexual chats. I live in a sex bored marriage even when we do have sex it's dull (and yes I have talked about it before anyone says "have you tried talking to her" gee why didn't I think of that!) I'm sure there are females in the same position wanting some excitement - Apply...
    andy8669 andy8669 26-30, M 1 Response Jun 22

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    I'm a woman age 40 in a sexless marriage.

    Married almost four years and I bet we haven't even had sex two dozen times; sleep in separate beds, but I love him still. Well, I've been toying around with the idea of having a fling with an ex-coworker. He's in the same boat in his marriage...he's 44. We actually has lunch...
    blondi73 blondi73 36-40, F 9 Responses Aug 14

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    So, my fiancé and I got married.

    That was seven years ago. That is the day my whole world changed. It is almost like after marrying, my husband thought....... I got her now. I can be myself and let my true self out, along with all my secrets and there is nothing she can do about it but accept it. It's like he...
    Confucius125 Confucius125 36-40, F 21 Responses Dec 26, 2013

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    Mixed Intent

    I was reading some of the stories on here and it struck me how much of my identity is tied into my sexless marriage. For many years (now in 7th year) in my sexless marriage, I was hurt and trying anything i could to get him to have sex with me. Now for the last three years, I...
    annhath annhath 46-50, F 12 Responses Nov 16, 2013

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    I am in pain tonight.

    Crying. I did it to myself. I went to h iPad and looked at his browsing history. Yes, I found ****. Not a ton. I know he is not an addict. I'm not anti-****, but it hurt my feelings terribly. I really don't care if he watches ****, but I feel like he could choose sex or...
    Candymaker Candymaker 41-45, F 3 Responses Aug 6

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    Once again another night of yelling

    and tears and falling asleep alone only to feel my precious 6 month old little boy kicking inside me. I'm so frustrated and lonely yet my husband is just inches away from me. 😞😞😞
    kmbbb22 kmbbb22 22-25, F 8 Responses Feb 27

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    I'm 42, he's 40. We've been married 7 years

    with 2 kids. I just thought we were too tired for a sex life. For the last couple of years I have had this low level of resentment towards him, getting irritated by things he does or says, criticising him, suggesting ways he can change. I hate myself for it, I feel like I've...
    Blox99 Blox99 41-45, F 4 Responses Jul 27

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    How long does it take to say its OVER?

    Am I selfish to leave him coz he can't give me intimacy?
    luv4get luv4get 41-45, F 4 Responses Jul 9

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    This Fool Is Clueless

    I just got rejected again. And he's acting like he don't know why I'm mad. **** this I'm having an affair.
    lisa49 lisa49 46-50, F 2 Responses Oct 6, 2013

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    Letter To My Husband

    The following is the letter that I plan to give my H on Monday. He has a therapy appointment on Monday. I am hoping his therapist can help him deal with it all. Dear H, I have decided to write to you so that I can get my feelings/thoughts across in a clear manner.     I...
    ANewLife4Me ANewLife4Me 46-50, F 20 Responses Feb 4, 2012

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    I've been informed that it is rude

    for me to want sexual satisfaction. And it is rude for me to not feel ashamed for having desire even though I am a woman and a married one at that. So, should I beg for universal forgiveness for my unquenchable desire and for the fact that I still take pleasure in having...
    Katertoten Katertoten 46-50, F 8 Responses Jul 30

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    When we got married five years ago,

    I was 24 and he was 47. He was very kind, respectful and affluent. He made me feel good about myself in ways I never did before. The sex wasn't exciting but it was tender. Frankly, I had been "acting out" in so many self-destructive ways in the years before I met him, that a...
    gothette gothette 26-30, F 7 Responses Jul 24

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    My husband and I have been married

    for two years. Before we got married we talked about how important sex was to me, and he agreed. We had a great sex life up until we got married. As it stands now, the last time we had sex was three days after our wedding. I have tried everything, crying, begging, anger...
    janesdoe111 janesdoe111 41-45, F 12 Responses Dec 7, 2013

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    I can sooooo relate!!

    !!! Have you ever shopped at joytoyshop.com? Best prices, assortment and free shipping over $69!
    Gildy Gildy 46-50, M Jul 20

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    This Is What A Sexless Marriage Feels Like

    I found this on the internet. I wish I was wise enough to write this. I am not, Please read the following. It is one of the best stories I ever read. If you read it post a comment. Thank you This is What a Sexless Marriage Feels Like This post is not about virtue. It is not an...
    OutOfPatience OutOfPatience 61-65, M 64 Responses Oct 20, 2011

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    Well, I hope the third discussion about our

    state of non-sexual married life is the charm. The first talk resulted in a short spurt of Saturday morning efforts that petered out (pardon the pun). The second talk I suggested counseling but settled for the book "Sex after Fifty" as a compromise. I insisted that we take...
    debbiedee623 debbiedee623 51-55, F 2 Responses 8 hrs ago

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    I can't believe I am doing this.

    I have been married for just 10 years, and we have a young child My husband is attentive, plugged in, affectionate, and present. He is demonstrative with hand holding, caresses, kisses and hugs, all of that. But he has never been very interested in sex. It has gone from bad to...
    ChildOfDNM ChildOfDNM 41-45, F 4 Responses Jul 31

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    We Had The "talk", And What A Shock!

    So I finally worked up the courage to sit hubby down and have yet another “talk”, with him. The kids were both at sleepovers, and I thought this was the perfect time.  I just started out by saying I love him dearly, but these last few years I have felt more and more lonely...
    itsAmysturn itsAmysturn 41-45, F 52 Responses May 19, 2011

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    My Sexless Marriage To A Japanese Man

    I have been married for about 15 years. I love my husband but recently as a friend not as a lover. (I gave up 4 years ago trying to have a sexual relationship with him which is when I started to work on myself--getting in shape and facing my issues about men.) My husband and I...
    kim1958 kim1958 51-55, F 22 Responses Dec 22, 2010

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    I got out 6 weeks ago.

    .. Heartbreaking but it was destroying me. He'd been wonderful for 3 years and then it was all gone. Iv found the last 2 years desperate. No affection except in public where I suspect he felt safe. It was all due to medication but he just would not talk about it. The effect in me...
    allisnotlost allisnotlost 56-60, F 1 Response Jul 29

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    I posted this elsewhere

    but looking for support from women who may be in the same position - Please excuse my rambling...I just need to get this out. I'm not looking for advice or people to tell me to "get out" I know what I should do it's just a matter of getting up the courage to do so. I've been...
    asterinight asterinight 31-35, F 10 Responses May 14

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    I am so tired of being in

    such a horrible stupid relationship or lack of a relationship! I know this is part of my exit strategy and plan but I just feel so hurt all the time I just absolutely hate being ignored it is probably the worst feeling ever I got married to a man who I thought loved me but I...
    Rena4 Rena4 31-35, F 4 Responses Jul 21

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    Guilt

    This always happens. We had a confrontation today. Well if you could call it that. It started with me calling him out on some really PA behavior. Then one thing led to another. I told him how I felt about some things including his total inability to be intimate with me...
    annhath annhath 46-50, F 8 Responses Nov 20, 2013

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    Please Explain This to Me

    I don't understand.  I read your stories and you love your husbands, describe their good qualities and say, aside, from no sex, all is great.  I don't understand.  The no sex, no intimacy has eroded away at my feelings for my husband.  If he doesn't want to...
    emily50 emily50 46-50, F 12 Responses Feb 25, 2008

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    my husband has a very libido the last few

    months due to work related stress and lack of sleep on a daily basis. we've talked about it and he knows how drastic the change is and is working on it.. but other than getting a new job we don't really know how to increase it again.. any ideas?
    bakerv bakerv 22-25, F 2 Responses 19 hrs ago

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    I have been married for nearly 27 years.

    We were only intimate during the years trying to have babies. I had 3 miscarriages and was able to have two kids. One going to be a senior in college and one junior in high school. We probably had less than 50 times of being intimate out of 27 years! I work full time all these...
    SoLost63 SoLost63 51-55, F 5 Responses May 13

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    I am grateful for reading other stories

    and that I am not alone! My husband and I have been married for 9 years. The sex is always great, but has NEVER been frequent. There was always an excuse as to why not. Now all of the excuses have been disproven and the truth is he has no idea why he has no sex drive. We have...
    frustratedbb frustratedbb 26-30, F 9 Responses Jan 6

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    We've been married for 26 years.

    I am tall and very fit. I keep myself clean and well groomed. I know men find me attractive. But my husband is very inhibited. He does not french kiss or do any thing that requires the use of his mouth. I barely get a kiss. I had this hope when we got married that our sexual...
    debbiedee623 debbiedee623 51-55, F 3 Responses Jul 31

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    I've only been married 9 months

    and I am in a sexless marriage. We are "trying to have a baby" and it feels like I have to force my husband to have sex. We maybe have sex once a month and it normal feels forced and not wanted. I am on fertility drugs and there were times when he couldn't get it up and we...
    firefly83 firefly83 31-35, F 7 Responses Jul 23

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    I Need To Get Out

    I know my marriage is over. I'm just so afraid of actually doing something about it. We haven't had sex in 4 years. I'm so over being alone in this relationship. I'm just terrified to take the first step. I know he cheats, so that should make it easier right? It's not that easy...
    SouthernGirl1968 SouthernGirl1968 46-50, F 32 Responses Jul 16, 2013

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    Love the Man, Miss the Intimacy.

    We have been married 4 years, together 6. In 4 years, we have had sex 1 time.  I pledged through good times and bad - but this is driving me crazy. He is wonderful, and I can say honestly i have NEVER gotten along as well with anyone else in my life - ever.  I trust...
    Sommerville Sommerville 36-40, F 31 Responses Sep 12, 2007

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    I'm slowly drifting away.

    That once loyal wife I prided myself in being, is coming to a hault. Does he see it in my eyes? Can he sense it? I'm not sure & a big part of me doesn't care. Has he turned me into a hater of intimacy? So many things running through my head on this Sunday night
    gracehopepeace gracehopepeace 31-35, F 10 Responses Feb 2

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    My husband and I are just married this year.

    He comes from a strict religious upbringing and so he was a virgin at the time we married. I was not. Anyway, he wanted to “save himself”, his virginity that is, until our wedding night and so we never had sex before that time. When I agreed to marry him, I was aware and...
    SusanTeaspoon SusanTeaspoon 18-21, F 4 Responses 1 day ago

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    I Feel Terribly Guilty About Admitting This, But...

    Just putting the words out there makes me sick to my stomach...I am in a sexless marriage. Wow, I feel as if I failed...that somehow it's my destiny to be incredibly lonely and unwanted. I think it all started when i found out I was pregnant with my daughter over 11 years ago. I...
    tinkerbell71 tinkerbell71 41-45, F 16 Responses Jul 8, 2013

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    I know the feeling, well I shared my story on

    the other page but I would very glad to shared it on this forum. I have been in marriage for 5 years and last time my husband and I had sex was over 8 months ago. We usually do it twice or thrice a month. I am wondering why he's not asking for it or maybe he is just busy doing...
    MsLucky MsLucky 22-25, F 3 Responses Aug 4

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    There is a name for what has been happening to

    me all these years. I don't know if that makes me feel happy or sad. All I know is I am hurting so much. Someone, an old friend of mine, started flirting with me even though I am married for almost 14 years and it just helped bring so much to light for me about my relationship...
    Schmoo9 Schmoo9 41-45, F 12 Responses May 27

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