I Am Afraid I Will Fall Back Into My Depression Again

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 779 People

    Ok so it's growing. I know it's coming.

    The last few days I have been so insanely frustrated and irritable - like the energy that fuels a child's tantrums. Now I'm feeling that subside to the flatness of no real emotion except general sadness. I'm loosing interest in everything, even the sexual energy that drives the...
    LowRise LowRise
    41-45, M
    1 Response Mar 9, 2015

    Not so much afraid as slightly concerned.

    I caught myself withdrawing again. Now, I'm forcing myself not to. All about breaking cycles.
    Sicarium Sicarium
    36-40, M
    1 Response Apr 30, 2015

    Don'T Really Feel Depressed Anymore

    If I had to describe how I feel, I'd say just bitter and the occasional pang of excruciatingly loneliness. I've grown comfortable enough in my own company for that to ever kill me now. I'm not okay, but I'm a different kind of unstable now. It's not depression, it's just...
    deadmoon deadmoon
    22-25, F
    Jun 7, 2013

    I feel it coming. That slow creep of

    hopelessness dancing in the shadows of my mind. Hiding in all of the darkest recesses of my brain, waiting, watching. Slipping in and out of my consciousness when I am most vulnerable, when it knows I will not notice its arrival. Slowly working its way into my mind, my heart, my...
    RandomInkFlow RandomInkFlow
    18-21, T
    2 Responses Jun 13, 2015

    darn, too late.......

    ...already cutting again
    Eragon232 Eragon232
    13-15, M
    2 Responses Mar 9, 2015

    I Fell.... =(

    I fell into 'hibernation' mode for a week recently. ignoring exams, school, work or any contact with humans and technology. Locked up in my room. Phone dead. I slept for 5 days straight, having a bite of my tub of gummi bears and a shot of liquor when I woke up, brushed my teeth...
    redleaves redleaves
    22-25, F
    3 Responses Aug 28, 2012

    Can I Trust Myself????

    I'm always afraid that I will never be good enough. How can I trust myself to make the right choice when I constantly seem to be making the wrong one?
    tigerlily1994 tigerlily1994
    18-21, F
    Nov 23, 2013

    I had some serious depression.

    .. it was going amazing, but I feel so ashamed of what I use to be... My depression is coming back...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Sep 13, 2015

    My pills were my best friends

    for the past 2 years. Now im back to school. I thought everything was going well but im scared. Im scared of feeling like i used to do.
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    2 Responses Dec 22, 2015

    If I Do

    I am not taking meds again.
    musared musared
    16-17, F
    Aug 28, 2009

    I just went on an awesome vacation to Brazil

    and in a blink of an eye it was over. I saw part of the world and it was incredible. The people and language were beautiful. I miss it, terribly. I'm stuck here in Massachusetts, with the same people and surroundings. I feel frustrated. All I want to do is travel or at...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    3 Responses Sep 15, 2015

    What Makes You Cry...

    I am used to keeping so much to myself, because i didnt dare to tell anyone anymore, as i feel they were never interested in hearing me. I used to complain alot untill when i was in my young teens, 11-13 years of age, one of my friend told me to shut up. Till now it has...
    redleaves redleaves
    22-25, F
    3 Responses Aug 27, 2009

    I Alreadhave...

    When I joined this group. I was High in my manic pharase. I have Bipolar, so I have a Lot of ups and downs, and its very hard to deal with it, when I am not on medication. Sadly, I have fallen back into the depression pit, due to it being the holiday, and hating the holiday, and...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Dec 4, 2009

    Lately every day has felt like a battle with

    myself. I wake up feeling great then my stupid mind decides to **** with me and I overthink something, or torture myself with horrible thoughts, and I feel like just going to sleep forever. I could never do it, not for want of trying before, but sometimes it feels like such an...
    PiarnD82 PiarnD82
    31-35, F
    2 Responses Apr 5, 2015

    My super close bf just dumped me yesterday

    and he was my best friend. I have no clue what to do with life. I guess I shall remain depressed forever!😞😔
    Bassdrumlife12 Bassdrumlife12
    13-15, F
    3 Responses Mar 10, 2015

    I fight everyday to keep myself from sinking

    back into depression. I block out a lot of things and I'm sure I'm only making things worse by doing that but I don't know what else to do. I hate taking pills, I don't drink, I don't do drugs, I have no friends. So what else is there for me to do?
    skipbaeless skipbaeless
    26-30, F
    Feb 18, 2015

    Overcoming My Issues

    I went through my first bout of depression when I was ten. My grandmother (mom's mom), whom I was very close to, passed away. Hers was my first real experience with death. I basically shut down. I wouldn't eat, or sleep, or talk for a while. The depression did not last very long...
    ADreamerWithAPen ADreamerWithAPen
    16-17, F
    May 13, 2012

    Back And Forth

    I try so hard to be a good mom, good wife, and nice little home maker, but it's killing me. Sometimes I am happy, most times I am going nuts. Started taking a natural supplement to balance my moods... Hope it helps.
    Feb 11, 2013

    Once And A While

    Ever since I was little I suffered from a chronic depression. I have more things now to keep my mind busy, I also love to help people who are also upset. I'm happier now but it back forth occasionally.
    TrevorNotSalander TrevorNotSalander
    16-17, M
    Nov 8, 2013

    Hmmm

    I use to be confident and really couldn't care less of what people think but now I'm not so sure... I have and am recently being bullied by people on my soccer team. At first it really didn't get me but now it's just echo's in my head. I've been depressed before and it's not...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Sep 14, 2013

    Lost In Lust

    Sometimes i flinch when you try to touch me and you stop kissing me to ask me why i resist then you look into my eyes and see the tears naturally you ask whats wrong and naturally i make up excuses.. "oh the winds burning my eyes..." "...i'm just not in the mood today" i...
    lexi71912 lexi71912
    13-15, F
    Nov 2, 2012

    i have seen the world fade to gray

    for so long that i decided to change it back if i could. the scars have faded and everything is ok. though theres always that thought that maybe its not.
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    2 Responses Sep 15, 2015

    my life is a roller coaster.

    some days I'm ok and some days I can't even get in the shower. right now I'm having a hard time facing life on life's terms. I want to quit my job and stay in bed all day. but I can't do I suit up and show up for life
    kareenmarie kareenmarie
    36-40, F
    1 Response Apr 30, 2015

    Stuck In The Spell Of Inertia

    I am known for taking every assignment in this life as a goal and struggling hard  to achieve it. But however, since few months i am locked inside this spell of inertia which is not letting me to do anything. My life has changed drastically. I don't feel the interest of doing...
    haseebahsan haseebahsan
    22-25, M
    Jul 20, 2011

    I am sacrificing my love

    for my self Esteem. I love a guy madly but he don't holds the same feelings for me nor he understands my love and don't respects my feelings. It hurts me. I didn't want to accept it that he don't love me ,but he broke me. Facing the most painful phase of my life.
    sidu6 sidu6
    26-30, F
    2 Responses Sep 26, 2014

    Who's that knock, knock,

    knocking at the door? - It's that old devious devil and his dark dog returning to stay a while. What fascinates me (and worries me deeply) about depression, or at least my experiences of it ,as I can't speak for others, is the total shift in perspective that can arise from...
    LowRise LowRise
    41-45, M
    1 Response Feb 18, 2015

    Depression Again

    Oh no, Not depression again, I feared, This might happen, I seem, To just get out, Here I am again, Falling into depression, When will it ever end? When will I be free?
    lazycrazybasket lazycrazybasket
    46-50, M
    1 Response Feb 2, 2012

    Nothing Is Impossible.....its Yours To Change..

    I have realised that... some will be able relate to me of how numbness and emotionless one can be. But If you are able to relate to me.. It means, You do still have emotions, You still feel. However.. only you can change it. It could be a bad day, bad year. An incident. A...
    redleaves redleaves
    22-25, F
    1 Response Oct 16, 2012

    I keep falling back down,

    but I somehow get back up every time. I'm afraid that one of these times I won't have enough strength to get up again.
    DLaPratt DLaPratt
    16-17, M
    1 Response Aug 14, 2015

    Ups & Downs Of Life

    Life is so funny friendz, If u have wish to learn always then u have tremendous things to do This all things came into anyones mind when they are in high touch of their creativity & potential But one thing always fear in corner of mind The Depression is only thing who give nice...
    ashu4569 ashu4569
    18-21, M
    Mar 19, 2012

    I already have. I was slowly getting out

    if it but I just fell into a black hole and couldn't get out. I now know it's where I belong. Being surrounded by black.
    SavedByBands SavedByBands
    18-21, F
    1 Response Sep 26, 2014

    This Describes Me Perfectly.

    I've been unmedicated for like 2 months. And right now, am slipping back into the anxiety and eating disordered thoughts, no purging, yet. It's scary though. It's a real fear. I don't want to go back there. I REALLY can do better than this. I am more than this. I am worthy of...
    CrazyHippieChick CrazyHippieChick
    22-25
    3 Responses Jan 28, 2012
    MrPoolofsouls MrPoolofsouls
    16-17, M
    Oct 11, 2015

    It really sucked. Last year of August,

    I fell into a depression for lots of reasons. It was hard to sustain a conversation with people without wanting to cry. I felt weightless(not literally) and I felt dead inside. I learned how to avoid it but it took some time. I hope no one feels like there's a low point in their...
    Amethyst09 Amethyst09
    18-21, F
    1 Response Feb 19, 2015

    Damn it! Why does every high have to be

    followed with an equal opposite low? I feel like a see-saw.
    LowRise LowRise
    41-45, M
    3 Responses Apr 29, 2015

    When you best friend stops caring about you.

    Lately i've been having emotional breakdowns and heavy depression, ones that threatens my life, existence and education and in these situations when our best friends see us devastated they try their best to heal us but this time my best friend and long life brother stood...
    ofOmar ofOmar
    18-21, M
    Oct 18, 2015

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