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I Am Afraid I Will Fall Back Into My Depression Again

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 604 People

    It really sucked. Last year of August,

    I fell into a depression for lots of reasons. It was hard to sustain a conversation with people without wanting to cry. I felt weightless(not literally) and I felt dead inside. I learned how to avoid it but it took some time. I hope no one feels like there's a low point in their...
    Amethyst09 Amethyst09 18-21, F Feb 19

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    Who's that knock, knock,

    knocking at the door? - It's that old devious devil and his dark dog returning to stay a while. What fascinates me (and worries me deeply) about depression, or at least my experiences of it ,as I can't speak for others, is the total shift in perspective that can arise from...
    LowRise LowRise 41-45, M 1 Response Feb 18

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    Not so much afraid as slightly concerned.

    I caught myself withdrawing again. Now, I'm forcing myself not to. All about breaking cycles.
    Sicarium Sicarium 36-40, M 1 Response Apr 30

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    Lately every day has felt like a battle with

    myself. I wake up feeling great then my stupid mind decides to **** with me and I overthink something, or torture myself with horrible thoughts, and I feel like just going to sleep forever. I could never do it, not for want of trying before, but sometimes it feels like such an...
    PiarnD82 PiarnD82 31-35, F 2 Responses Apr 5

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    My super close bf just dumped me yesterday

    and he was my best friend. I have no clue what to do with life. I guess I shall remain depressed forever!😞😔
    Bassdrumlife12 Bassdrumlife12 13-15, F 3 Responses Mar 10

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    Depression Again

    Oh no, Not depression again, I feared, This might happen, I seem, To just get out, Here I am again, Falling into depression, When will it ever end? When will I be free?
    lazycrazybasket lazycrazybasket 46-50, M 1 Response Feb 2, 2012

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    Can I Trust Myself????

    I'm always afraid that I will never be good enough. How can I trust myself to make the right choice when I constantly seem to be making the wrong one?
    tigerlily1994 tigerlily1994 18-21, F Nov 23, 2013

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    I Alreadhave...

    When I joined this group. I was High in my manic pharase. I have Bipolar, so I have a Lot of ups and downs, and its very hard to deal with it, when I am not on medication. Sadly, I have fallen back into the depression pit, due to it being the holiday, and hating the holiday, and...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Dec 4, 2009

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    hello everyone. i'm back.

    who has suffered from depression? it it not sooo easy to fall back? it seems like it never left.
    sylviaplath01 sylviaplath01 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 21

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    my life is a roller coaster.

    some days I'm ok and some days I can't even get in the shower. right now I'm having a hard time facing life on life's terms. I want to quit my job and stay in bed all day. but I can't do I suit up and show up for life
    kareenmarie kareenmarie 36-40, F 1 Response Apr 30

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    I am sacrificing my love

    for my self Esteem. I love a guy madly but he don't holds the same feelings for me nor he understands my love and don't respects my feelings. It hurts me. I didn't want to accept it that he don't love me ,but he broke me. Facing the most painful phase of my life.
    sidu6 sidu6 22-25, F 2 Responses Sep 26, 2014

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    Stuck In The Spell Of Inertia

    I am known for taking every assignment in this life as a goal and struggling hard  to achieve it. But however, since few months i am locked inside this spell of inertia which is not letting me to do anything. My life has changed drastically. I don't feel the interest of doing...
    haseebahsan haseebahsan 22-25, M Jul 20, 2011

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    What Makes You Cry...

    I am used to keeping so much to myself, because i didnt dare to tell anyone anymore, as i feel they were never interested in hearing me. I used to complain alot untill when i was in my young teens, 11-13 years of age, one of my friend told me to shut up. Till now it has...
    redleaves redleaves 22-25, F 3 Responses Aug 27, 2009

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    Ups & Downs Of Life

    Life is so funny friendz, If u have wish to learn always then u have tremendous things to do This all things came into anyones mind when they are in high touch of their creativity & potential But one thing always fear in corner of mind The Depression is only thing who give nice...
    ashu4569 ashu4569 18-21, M Mar 19, 2012

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    coming of my anti depressants im terrified i

    fall back into the pit of despair even tho i will still majorly depressed and suicidle whilst on my anti depressant :/ i know ill allways be depressed is there a way to embrace depression tho??
    maylane maylane 16-17, F 1 Response Jan 28, 2014

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    Once And A While

    Ever since I was little I suffered from a chronic depression. I have more things now to keep my mind busy, I also love to help people who are also upset. I'm happier now but it back forth occasionally.
    TrevorNotSalander TrevorNotSalander 16-17, M Nov 8, 2013

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    Overcoming My Issues

    I went through my first bout of depression when I was ten. My grandmother (mom's mom), whom I was very close to, passed away. Hers was my first real experience with death. I basically shut down. I wouldn't eat, or sleep, or talk for a while. The depression did not last very long...
    ADreamerWithAPen ADreamerWithAPen 16-17, F May 13, 2012

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    I fight everyday to keep myself from sinking

    back into depression. I block out a lot of things and I'm sure I'm only making things worse by doing that but I don't know what else to do. I hate taking pills, I don't drink, I don't do drugs, I have no friends. So what else is there for me to do?
    skipbaeless skipbaeless 26-30, F 2 Responses Feb 18

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    Damn it! Why does every high have to be

    followed with an equal opposite low? I feel like a see-saw.
    LowRise LowRise 41-45, M 4 Responses Apr 29

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    darn, too late.......

    ...already cutting again
    Eragon232 Eragon232 13-15, M 1 Response Mar 9

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    This Describes Me Perfectly.

    I've been unmedicated for like 2 months. And right now, am slipping back into the anxiety and eating disordered thoughts, no purging, yet. It's scary though. It's a real fear. I don't want to go back there. I REALLY can do better than this. I am more than this. I am worthy of...
    CrazyHippieChick CrazyHippieChick 22-25 3 Responses Jan 28, 2012

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    Lost In Lust

    Sometimes i flinch when you try to touch me and you stop kissing me to ask me why i resist then you look into my eyes and see the tears naturally you ask whats wrong and naturally i make up excuses.. "oh the winds burning my eyes..." "...i'm just not in the mood today" i...
    lexi71912 lexi71912 13-15, F Nov 2, 2012

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    I feel it coming. That slow creep of

    hopelessness dancing in the shadows of my mind. Hiding in all of the darkest recesses of my brain, waiting, watching. Slipping in and out of my consciousness when I am most vulnerable, when it knows I will not notice its arrival. Slowly working its way into my mind, my heart, my...
    missmalky missmalky 18-21, T 1 Response Jun 13

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    I Fell.... =(

    I fell into 'hibernation' mode for a week recently. ignoring exams, school, work or any contact with humans and technology. Locked up in my room. Phone dead. I slept for 5 days straight, having a bite of my tub of gummi bears and a shot of liquor when I woke up, brushed my teeth...
    redleaves redleaves 22-25, F 3 Responses Aug 28, 2012

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    I already have. I was slowly getting out

    if it but I just fell into a black hole and couldn't get out. I now know it's where I belong. Being surrounded by black.
    SavedByBands SavedByBands 16-17, F 1 Response Sep 26, 2014

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    Hmmm

    I use to be confident and really couldn't care less of what people think but now I'm not so sure... I have and am recently being bullied by people on my soccer team. At first it really didn't get me but now it's just echo's in my head. I've been depressed before and it's not...
    HappyHuffy HappyHuffy 16-17, M Sep 14, 2013

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    If I Do

    I am not taking meds again.
    musared musared 16-17, F Aug 28, 2009

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    Ok so it's growing. I know it's coming.

    The last few days I have been so insanely frustrated and irritable - like the energy that fuels a child's tantrums. Now I'm feeling that subside to the flatness of no real emotion except general sadness. I'm loosing interest in everything, even the sexual energy that drives the...
    LowRise LowRise 41-45, M 1 Response Mar 9

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    Back And Forth

    I try so hard to be a good mom, good wife, and nice little home maker, but it's killing me. Sometimes I am happy, most times I am going nuts. Started taking a natural supplement to balance my moods... Hope it helps.
    Feb 11, 2013

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    I have come so far from it.

    yet every day I feel a tiny piece brake off and it scares me I'll end right back were I was
    youngkinyteenmom youngkinyteenmom 18-21, F 4 Responses May 4

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    Nothing Is Impossible.....its Yours To Change..

    I have realised that... some will be able relate to me of how numbness and emotionless one can be. But If you are able to relate to me.. It means, You do still have emotions, You still feel. However.. only you can change it. It could be a bad day, bad year. An incident. A...
    redleaves redleaves 22-25, F 1 Response Oct 16, 2012

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    Don'T Really Feel Depressed Anymore

    If I had to describe how I feel, I'd say just bitter and the occasional pang of excruciatingly loneliness. I've grown comfortable enough in my own company for that to ever kill me now. I'm not okay, but I'm a different kind of unstable now. It's not depression, it's just...
    deadmoon deadmoon 18-21, F Jun 7, 2013

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    Related Experiences

    Send me your disrespectful son and I will turn him into an obedient sissy girl that will respect and serve you!
    MissVickyTse MissVickyTse 36-40, F 12 hrs ago

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    I need to step back from this guy. He says he is there for me but I can't talk to him about the one thing that feels like it's burying me alive. My depression and GAD. I also have...
    kitakat00 kitakat00 26-30, F 1 Response 16 hrs ago

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    I just want this to go away. Back in January I lost the group of friends I had been extremely close with for the last 4 years. That was very hard for me. I spent weeks in a...
    juli123 juli123 16-17, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    This happens all the time! I wake up to use the restroom around 3 and then I can't fall back asleep. I finally doze off then I'm either woken up to use the restroom again or my...
    lovewins2123 lovewins2123 18-21, M 1 Response 2 days ago

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    Lol this is once and for sure!
    Jhayne8 Jhayne8 31-35, F 3 days ago

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    I was sexually abused at 6 .. And ever since that day I have never been ok. When my parents found out they took me to a hospital thank god I was okay but deep down I knew I wasn't...
    liliovoxo liliovoxo 13-15, F 2 Responses 4 days ago

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    It really sucks I feel myself falling down this hole again and I'm reaching for help from my mom and she took a sleeping pill tonight. It came from no where I was happy life was ok...
    Babygirl12296 Babygirl12296 18-21, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    I admire people,that are not afraid to be themselves! I strongly believe,you will be discovered eventually,playing charades with other's lives. So why put yourself,and others...
    Susiedisney Susiedisney 56-60, F 4 days ago

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    It's no longer depression, heck it isn't even a random thought anymore. No reason for it to be there, I have a good life and nothing to be sad about. Su is back to a constant...
    Masteris Masteris 70+, M 4 days ago

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    The last time I was really depressed, I didn't eat for days, I stayed in bed all the time, I didn't go anywhere nor wanted to be around anyone. It was bad and it got worse after I...
    Deeplyflawed89 Deeplyflawed89 22-25, F 4 days ago

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    I wish to get over all this pain inside my heart and soul and especially those people who come into my life care about me I open my heart and tell everything then one day they hit...
    emmadarko emmadarko 22-25, F 4 days ago

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    https://youtu.be/n1Te-3gZFLI great song for anyone who had ever felt angry, lost, betrayed, broken, anything negative. this song is for you helped me in my darkest hours. WARNING...
    pandaangel pandaangel 26-30, F 4 days ago

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    I feel it coming back...and I'm scared that I might try to hurt myself again. I almost had an attack last night but managed to hold it back. Last week I had an attack that lasted...
    PapaSun56 PapaSun56 18-21, M 5 days ago