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I Am Afraid I Will Fall Back Into My Depression Again

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 793 People

    This Describes Me Perfectly.

    I've been unmedicated for like 2 months. And right now, am slipping back into the anxiety and eating disordered thoughts, no purging, yet. It's scary though. It's a real fear. I don't want to go back there. I REALLY can do better than this. I am more than this. I am worthy of...
    CrazyHippieChick CrazyHippieChick 22-25 3 Responses Jan 28, 2012

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    Depression Again

    Oh no, Not depression again, I feared, This might happen, I seem, To just get out, Here I am again, Falling into depression, When will it ever end? When will I be free?
    lazycrazybasket lazycrazybasket 46-50, M 1 Response Feb 2, 2012

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    It really sucked. Last year of August,

    I fell into a depression for lots of reasons. It was hard to sustain a conversation with people without wanting to cry. I felt weightless(not literally) and I felt dead inside. I learned how to avoid it but it took some time. I hope no one feels like there's a low point in their...
    Amethyst09 Amethyst09 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 19, 2015

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    I just went on an awesome vacation to Brazil

    and in a blink of an eye it was over. I saw part of the world and it was incredible. The people and language were beautiful. I miss it, terribly. I'm stuck here in Massachusetts, with the same people and surroundings. I feel frustrated. All I want to do is travel or at...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Sep 15, 2015

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    When you best friend stops caring about you.

    Lately i've been having emotional breakdowns and heavy depression, ones that threatens my life, existence and education and in these situations when our best friends see us devastated they try their best to heal us but this time my best friend and long life brother stood...
    ofOmar ofOmar 18-21, M Oct 18, 2015

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    I Fell.... =(

    I fell into 'hibernation' mode for a week recently. ignoring exams, school, work or any contact with humans and technology. Locked up in my room. Phone dead. I slept for 5 days straight, having a bite of my tub of gummi bears and a shot of liquor when I woke up, brushed my teeth...
    redleaves redleaves 22-25, F 3 Responses Aug 28, 2012

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    I had some serious depression.

    .. it was going amazing, but I feel so ashamed of what I use to be... My depression is coming back...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Sep 13, 2015

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    Ok so it's growing. I know it's coming.

    The last few days I have been so insanely frustrated and irritable - like the energy that fuels a child's tantrums. Now I'm feeling that subside to the flatness of no real emotion except general sadness. I'm loosing interest in everything, even the sexual energy that drives the...
    LowRise LowRise 41-45, M 1 Response Mar 9, 2015

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    Don'T Really Feel Depressed Anymore

    If I had to describe how I feel, I'd say just bitter and the occasional pang of excruciatingly loneliness. I've grown comfortable enough in my own company for that to ever kill me now. I'm not okay, but I'm a different kind of unstable now. It's not depression, it's just...
    deadmoon deadmoon 22-25, F Jun 7, 2013

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    If I Do

    I am not taking meds again.
    musared musared 16-17, F Aug 28, 2009

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    darn, too late.......

    ...already cutting again
    Eragon232 Eragon232 13-15, M 2 Responses Mar 9, 2015

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    MrPoolofsouls MrPoolofsouls 16-17, M Oct 11, 2015

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    Stuck In The Spell Of Inertia

    I am known for taking every assignment in this life as a goal and struggling hard  to achieve it. But however, since few months i am locked inside this spell of inertia which is not letting me to do anything. My life has changed drastically. I don't feel the interest of doing...
    haseebahsan haseebahsan 22-25, M Jul 20, 2011

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    Can I Trust Myself????

    I'm always afraid that I will never be good enough. How can I trust myself to make the right choice when I constantly seem to be making the wrong one?
    tigerlily1994 tigerlily1994 18-21, F Nov 23, 2013

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    Lately every day has felt like a battle with

    myself. I wake up feeling great then my stupid mind decides to **** with me and I overthink something, or torture myself with horrible thoughts, and I feel like just going to sleep forever. I could never do it, not for want of trying before, but sometimes it feels like such an...
    PiarnD82 PiarnD82 31-35, F 2 Responses Apr 5, 2015

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    i have seen the world fade to gray

    for so long that i decided to change it back if i could. the scars have faded and everything is ok. though theres always that thought that maybe its not.
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Sep 15, 2015

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    I feel it coming. That slow creep of

    hopelessness dancing in the shadows of my mind. Hiding in all of the darkest recesses of my brain, waiting, watching. Slipping in and out of my consciousness when I am most vulnerable, when it knows I will not notice its arrival. Slowly working its way into my mind, my heart, my...
    RandomInkFlow RandomInkFlow 18-21, T 2 Responses Jun 13, 2015

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    Back And Forth

    I try so hard to be a good mom, good wife, and nice little home maker, but it's killing me. Sometimes I am happy, most times I am going nuts. Started taking a natural supplement to balance my moods... Hope it helps.
    Feb 11, 2013

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    Ups & Downs Of Life

    Life is so funny friendz, If u have wish to learn always then u have tremendous things to do This all things came into anyones mind when they are in high touch of their creativity & potential But one thing always fear in corner of mind The Depression is only thing who give nice...
    ashu4569 ashu4569 18-21, M Mar 19, 2012

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    My pills were my best friends

    for the past 2 years. Now im back to school. I thought everything was going well but im scared. Im scared of feeling like i used to do.
    JessJennn JessJennn 22-25, F 2 Responses Dec 22, 2015

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    Nothing Is Impossible.....its Yours To Change..

    I have realised that... some will be able relate to me of how numbness and emotionless one can be. But If you are able to relate to me.. It means, You do still have emotions, You still feel. However.. only you can change it. It could be a bad day, bad year. An incident. A...
    redleaves redleaves 22-25, F 1 Response Oct 16, 2012

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    my life is a roller coaster.

    some days I'm ok and some days I can't even get in the shower. right now I'm having a hard time facing life on life's terms. I want to quit my job and stay in bed all day. but I can't do I suit up and show up for life
    kareenmarie kareenmarie 36-40, F 1 Response Apr 30, 2015

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    Damn it! Why does every high have to be

    followed with an equal opposite low? I feel like a see-saw.
    LowRise LowRise 41-45, M 3 Responses Apr 29, 2015

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    What Makes You Cry...

    I am used to keeping so much to myself, because i didnt dare to tell anyone anymore, as i feel they were never interested in hearing me. I used to complain alot untill when i was in my young teens, 11-13 years of age, one of my friend told me to shut up. Till now it has...
    redleaves redleaves 22-25, F 3 Responses Aug 27, 2009

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    I am sacrificing my love

    for my self Esteem. I love a guy madly but he don't holds the same feelings for me nor he understands my love and don't respects my feelings. It hurts me. I didn't want to accept it that he don't love me ,but he broke me. Facing the most painful phase of my life.
    sidu6 sidu6 26-30, F 2 Responses Sep 26, 2014

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    Hmmm

    I use to be confident and really couldn't care less of what people think but now I'm not so sure... I have and am recently being bullied by people on my soccer team. At first it really didn't get me but now it's just echo's in my head. I've been depressed before and it's not...
    HappyHuffy HappyHuffy 16-17, M 1 Response Sep 14, 2013

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    I already have. I was slowly getting out

    if it but I just fell into a black hole and couldn't get out. I now know it's where I belong. Being surrounded by black.
    SavedByBands SavedByBands 18-21, F 1 Response Sep 26, 2014

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    Not so much afraid as slightly concerned.

    I caught myself withdrawing again. Now, I'm forcing myself not to. All about breaking cycles.
    Sicarium Sicarium 36-40, M 1 Response Apr 30, 2015

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    hello everyone. i'm back.

    who has suffered from depression? it it not sooo easy to fall back? it seems like it never left.
    sylviaplath01 sylviaplath01 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 21, 2015

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    Lost In Lust

    Sometimes i flinch when you try to touch me and you stop kissing me to ask me why i resist then you look into my eyes and see the tears naturally you ask whats wrong and naturally i make up excuses.. "oh the winds burning my eyes..." "...i'm just not in the mood today" i...
    lexi71912 lexi71912 13-15, F Nov 2, 2012

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    My super close bf just dumped me yesterday

    and he was my best friend. I have no clue what to do with life. I guess I shall remain depressed forever!😞😔
    Bassdrumlife12 Bassdrumlife12 13-15, F 3 Responses Mar 10, 2015

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    I fight everyday to keep myself from sinking

    back into depression. I block out a lot of things and I'm sure I'm only making things worse by doing that but I don't know what else to do. I hate taking pills, I don't drink, I don't do drugs, I have no friends. So what else is there for me to do?
    skipbaeless skipbaeless 26-30, F Feb 18, 2015

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    Overcoming My Issues

    I went through my first bout of depression when I was ten. My grandmother (mom's mom), whom I was very close to, passed away. Hers was my first real experience with death. I basically shut down. I wouldn't eat, or sleep, or talk for a while. The depression did not last very long...
    ADreamerWithAPen ADreamerWithAPen 16-17, F May 13, 2012

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    I keep falling back down,

    but I somehow get back up every time. I'm afraid that one of these times I won't have enough strength to get up again.
    DLaPratt DLaPratt 16-17, M 1 Response Aug 14, 2015

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    Who's that knock, knock,

    knocking at the door? - It's that old devious devil and his dark dog returning to stay a while. What fascinates me (and worries me deeply) about depression, or at least my experiences of it ,as I can't speak for others, is the total shift in perspective that can arise from...
    LowRise LowRise 41-45, M 1 Response Feb 18, 2015

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    I Alreadhave...

    When I joined this group. I was High in my manic pharase. I have Bipolar, so I have a Lot of ups and downs, and its very hard to deal with it, when I am not on medication. Sadly, I have fallen back into the depression pit, due to it being the holiday, and hating the holiday, and...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Dec 4, 2009

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    Once And A While

    Ever since I was little I suffered from a chronic depression. I have more things now to keep my mind busy, I also love to help people who are also upset. I'm happier now but it back forth occasionally.
    TrevorNotSalander TrevorNotSalander 16-17, M Nov 8, 2013

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    Related Experiences

    God there are so many ppl I would love to ***** slap cause they think I'm so nice and nothing they do will **** me off...guess again I'm waiting for that moment where I explode on...
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    I self harm As soon as my parents left the house that was the first thing that I did… I desperately need the numb feeling that it brings because without it my mind wanders to...
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    Emotionally numb, but super irritated, check Tired and sore, check. Headaches, check. Lack of interest in anything, check. Inability to think, check. No satisfaction from music...
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    I recently overcame major depression, and it changed my entire perspective on life. It took everything I had to find the motivation to live for so long. I got used to living a...
    shipmatenate shipmatenate 18-21 1 Response 14 hrs ago

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    Right people. I penned this little diatribe in the hope of getting through to some people who are having a tough time with legitimate incontinence and need a bit of light at the...
    Gemma1990 Gemma1990 22-25, F 1 Response 14 hrs ago

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    I'm 37.... I have a great job.....and earn a comfortable income....yet I felt like I wanted to explore what else is out there. I have a hobby that I love and thought perhaps I...
    hadyourchance hadyourchance 36-40, F 16 Responses 19 hrs ago

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    I started taking medication for my depression about 8 years ago, though I suffered from it for at least 10 years prior to that. I would try a medicine, slowly have it upped and...
    Ikid Ikid 22-25 1 Response 1 day ago

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