I Am Afraid of My Thoughts

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 414 People

    Thoughts About Commiting Suicide.

    Im afraid of my negative thoughts. Especially the ones that tell me I should kill myself. Last year was the hardest for me. I was going through a lot of stuff with my family. I was experience feelings of hate, guilt, lonleyness, sadness, anger, towards myself and towards...
    deleted deleted
    3 Responses Aug 3, 2009

    Self Control

    If I acted on each thought I had I'd be in prison, or dead.  I think it's part of the human condition.  Not necc. a sin thing but picking up influences of each other and clinging to them subconsiously.  I am continually praying for a reset on my mind, and He...
    deleted deleted
    Jan 22, 2010

    What If?........

    .......so many times......so many times he has betrayed me......a life..... a family......my dignity.......over and over....he refuses to grow......20 years.....a trillion tears......what if?......what if it happens again?....... <3
    Oliviawildechase Oliviawildechase
    26-30, F
    Jun 27, 2013

    My Dark Side

    I have a lot of dark thoughts. Most of them are the self-destructive ones-suicide and self-harm. They are constant and strong. Usually I try to keep myself busy so that I can block them out for a while. When I am alone and have nothing to do, they always creep back into my mind...
    SomewhereTomorrow SomewhereTomorrow
    18-21, F
    1 Response Aug 27, 2009

    Why do I sense cold winds blowing ,

    the silence is threatening to wipe off everything why am I not feeling strong enough ,why can’t I believe whatever it be the fight will not end up in loss.why am I not feeling confidence enough why are my feelings drowning in waves of eternal loss. Spreading my hand why can...
    winterfall winterfall
    Jan 11, 2014

    Little Man

    Little man, oh little man Of my thoughts and my dreams, Why do you ascertain you My emotions, my dreams? I can think of you often, I can think of you none; React of you daily, Or hastily shun - But as I mull you over again, You are there before my opening - I will begin, and I...
    13mikael 13mikael
    56-60, M
    Mar 24, 2011

    Even On Good Days

    I have those thoughts on good and bad days. I guess they never leave me and linger often... even now. It's not a bad day or a sad day, maybe a tad lonely but nothing I'm not used to, and yet the darkness still lingers. It is what it is I guess and something I should be used...
    mysplitpersonality mysplitpersonality
    36-40, F
    1 Response Jul 26, 2009

    Sometimes I worry that they'll drive me crazy,

    but I occasionally come up with some good ones.
    deleted deleted
    Jul 8, 2015

    I really wonder are you really here with me,

    do you really watch me catching illusive butterflies.Do you feel my happiness when it makes me smile,Do you feel my sobs when deep inside I cry or is it all my fantasy waves through the sea of people rolling by. Am scared sometimes with the very thought of confusion yet I garner...
    winterfall winterfall
    Jan 2, 2014

    It's Just A Thought...

    I don't know when I first became afraid of my own thoughts, i think its something that I have experienced since childhood. When I was young, if I stole a sweet or thought something bad I would cry to my mum and ask her if i'll go to hell for these things. My mum would laugh at...
    dwellerkeller dwellerkeller
    22-25, F
    3 Responses Apr 2, 2010


    They are very naughty and you're far away..........lol Love you sooooo much..................xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxFriends18.com Sexy Scraps" />
    deleted deleted
    5 Responses Mar 11, 2011

    Im Really Messed Up... Bad..

    even on really good days i can ruin it all with one thought.. some examples: the rapture, end of the world, murder, suicide, needles, things that make me cringe (like taking the metal end of a pencil and scraping my nails off :s ), satan, demons, being hung upsidedown and...
    kittybonkers kittybonkers
    16-17, F
    1 Response Aug 31, 2013

    Thoughts Come To Life

    This kid in school freshmen year was bothering me. He called me a *****. Also said I had a std. I dreamt of beating the living crap out of my or making him pay for saying those words. So my thoughts came true accidentally I got angry and I threw a screw driver at his face and he...
    Ichliebedich44 Ichliebedich44
    13-15, F
    1 Response Aug 24, 2013

    Scared To Turn Of The Music

    The whispering voices of doubt and hatred. The sobbing screams of my broken mind. Just to think brings fear. Deceptive memories which bring humiliation in their wake, just to serve as a reminder as to why I deserve to be like this. I can't be left alone to think. My mind needs...
    AgeonAngel AgeonAngel
    1 Response Aug 13, 2010

    Though I'm forced to wonder: Are they really MY

    thoughts? Or are they something else entirely?
    WatchOutItsKyle WatchOutItsKyle
    18-21, M
    Feb 19, 2014

    I Am Dark...

    I have a pretty dark personality..I like heavy scary strange music, I tend to see creepy things that aren't there, sometimes I scare myself...my dreams can be horrid, I tend to die or almost die in my dreams, I want to correct them because I can still see my dream in my head, I...
    CrazyMusicOnlyEmotion CrazyMusicOnlyEmotion
    13-15, F
    Dec 29, 2009

    Can't Stop Thinking

    Lately I've had this urge to curl into a ball and suck my thumb. I wish I could go back, fight harder, be stronger. There are so many things I wish I could change. But I'm stuck inside my head and there are iron bars in here that never let me go. I think about revenge and old...
    DiaryofaDeadgirl DiaryofaDeadgirl
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Apr 8, 2010

    It's strange, but yes.

    I'm afraid of my thoughts.. Because earlier on in the school year, I let them take over and I ended up attempting suicide. And my thoughts just scare me the way it is..
    worthlesssuicidal worthlesssuicidal
    16-17, F
    1 Response Mar 11, 2014

    All I Think About!

    I am afraid of my thoughts I am constantly thinking of sex, today I went to school and as my professor was packing his things up I find myself fantasizing about slowly undressing him and then before I know it I am talking to him asking questions that I already know the answers to...
    laylas3 laylas3
    41-45, F
    13 Responses Jun 4, 2010

    Yeah. A Lot Of Them.

    Whether you believe me or not, (because indeed, I do come off as a dumbass) my thoughts are so complex that they scare me.It's overwhelming how introspective I can get. I just am lazy. A lot of the time, I get thinking, REALLY thinking and I come to a point where my thoughts have...
    CrazyHippieChick CrazyHippieChick
    2 Responses Jun 10, 2011

    Can't Stop Thinking...

    The things that I think about really scare me sometimes... but I can't make the thoughts go away. They always come back and I just torture myself with them. I think about death way too much..  It's just crazy.
    BrokenAngelWishes BrokenAngelWishes
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Jan 27, 2010
    Mantisrider64 Mantisrider64
    18-21, M
    1 Response Sep 6, 2015

    Lately my thoughts have been bugging me.

    Overall I feel happy. However, every day at some point the thoughts creep in, telling me I'm not good enough, not smart enough, or not capable enough. The thoughts try to convince me that other people don't like me. I feel such negative energy inside myself at the moment and I...
    Sapphire14 Sapphire14
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Aug 3, 2015

    Get Out Of My Head

    They just pop up in my mind. Stuff like 'You know you aren't gonna get through this.'  and 'What's the point in living?' 'Just go for it, cut open you're skin'  It scares me. It's as if someone else is talking to me but I know it is me. I don't want them to be there...
    dinosaurus dinosaurus
    18-21, F
    6 Responses Apr 11, 2010

    They Sneek Up On You

    Sometimes i don't want to think at all, just want to be blank, be void, be invsible.  i want to close my eyes and see nothing. but my thoughts won't let me.  it's gotta be about something i  heard, or something i smelled, or some stupid thing i did. then i...
    13mikael 13mikael
    56-60, M
    1 Response Apr 8, 2010


     what am i thinking! i can't ever stop my self from thinking weird disturbing things, it makes me feel awkward!! 
    rainbowclouds rainbowclouds
    18-21, F
    5 Responses Aug 24, 2009

    3:06am Having a ******* terrible night,

    boyfriends just gone to sleep, think I might kill myself. ****.
    tinyanorexic tinyanorexic
    18-21, F
    1 Response Feb 11, 2015

    You're Not Alone

    I have horrible thots too. I can't tell you. Can't tell anyone. Can't even admit it to myself.
    musared musared
    16-17, F
    Aug 23, 2009

    My Thoughts Scare Me and My Friends

    when i get angry or even impassive i begin planning ways to kill the people around me. i make weapons out of coke cans just to see if i can. once my friend went to far with a prank and i almost killed him.
    SkarRavell SkarRavell
    22-25, M
    2 Responses Aug 8, 2009

    I Wrote Down My Thoughts On A Piece Of Paper

    and I read what I read what I wrote. And whoa. It's scary. I wrote down the sentence 'I want to be skinny' 10 times and 'I am fat' 7 times. 'help me' 4 times 'I'm ugly' 3 times 'I'm useless' 5 times 'I hate myself' 13 times 'I'm hungry' 1 time 'I'm tired' 2 times 'I hate food' 17...
    bladesilverred bladesilverred
    16-17, F
    2 Responses Sep 5, 2011

    If You Reach.. You Can Almost Touch...

    I'm sat on my bed reading a book. The lamp is on, so is the radio. I pass a word in the book, a familiar word. I'm not in my bedroom anymore. I'm in his flat on his blue 3-seater sofa watching who wants to be a millionaire. He is leaning so close to me i can hear his breath, I...
    LunaWolff LunaWolff
    18-21, F
    1 Response Jan 18, 2012
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