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I Am Afraid of Myself

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 316 People

    I Am Afraid of Myself

    I'm afraid of who I am, what I'm capable of and what I'll end up doing. Whether it's thinking I'll finally lose my mind and sink into a psychosis that no one can pull me back out of, or freaking out and physically hurting those around me. I'm afraid that just telling my friends...
    thiswhisper thiswhisper 22-25, M Jul 1, 2009

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    I'm not sure if writing this is going to help

    or not . . . but I'll give it a shot. Is it possible to be haunted by one's own personality? No matter how much time passes or what solutions I try to implement, I am continually haunted by the fact that I'm not social enough. I'm haunted by the fact that I'm slow, dense, and...
    epdostoevsky epdostoevsky 13-15 Feb 3

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    I Am So Afraid.

    I've always had an irrational fear of things most children are afraid of: monsters, the dark, being alone. But as I've grown up, the fear has only gotten worse. I'm so afraid that sometimes I can't sleep at night, and I have to stay up with the lights on, trying to distract...
    anonymousworthless anonymousworthless 13-15 2 Responses Jan 4, 2012

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    Willly Wonka's Schizophrenia

    Gene Wilder sings in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory that says, "If you want to view paradise, simply look around and view it". "There is no life I know to compare with pure imagination. Living there, you'll be free, if yo truly wish to be." Why not...
    maniachick maniachick 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 7, 2009

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    Someone Has to Be Afraid of Me...

    I've tried countless times to explain myself to people. they just see cute eyes and an "innocent" smile and laugh off my attempts at making them understand.  i've been born and cursed with the ability to escape almost anything bad.  and i realize the...
    cluelessandlost cluelessandlost 18-21, M 1 Response Jun 29, 2009

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    Don't Push My Buttons

    I felt this story. I grew up with a step-dad that was very easy to get mad. Mum would warn me that he would ‘hit the roof’ and so often he did. To make matters slightly more complicated my younger sister had a brain hemorrhage at birth (and also has ADHD) and so has...
    smebro smebro 22-25, M 2 Responses Aug 18, 2007

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    More So Then I Care To Admit...

    Have you ever been scared, I mean really scared of something? Do you wonder what you'd have to do if that was placed in front of you and you had to do something about it? Do you ever wonder why you are scared of it? How often do you think of it?I have been scared of something...
    purplebutterfly14 purplebutterfly14 18-21, F Nov 3, 2011

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    The Other Me

    When I was younger, mostly 1st through 5th grade, I lived in a fantasy that didn't exsist. I spent very little time being social and the time I did spend being social I was shy and reserved. I had friends but they were few. And my parents were often busy working, I felt like I...
    Callua Callua 13-15 1 Response Feb 5, 2013

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    My Anger Scares Me

    Honestly, I'm afraid of what i would do to someone if I lose my temper. It scares me more considering I'm actually a pretty big guy (6 foot 3 inches and over 300 lbs.). i try my best to control it, but it feels like something within is forcing me to be violent. i just don't know...
    sexybiguy5 sexybiguy5 22-25, M 3 Responses Feb 17, 2011

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    Who's to Blame?

    I'm new here. So I'm not sure where exactly to post what. All I know is that this is the exact type of site I enjoy. Where you don't necessarily have to know the person but can understand him or her based on similarities and/or differences. At this point, I feel really lonely...
    chelskaa chelskaa 16-17 5 Responses Jun 29, 2009

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    Everyday Is A Lifetime

    I dont know how ill feel when I wake up in the morning. Somedays I wake up ready to kick ***, live life and be happy .I look at myself in the mirrors somedays and I silently cry and resist the urge to break down. Sometimes I run away and I dont remember why. Somedays I feel...
    Alexes219 Alexes219 13-15 Aug 29, 2012

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    My Anger Scares Me

    Ok so I'm not very big and not very old but I'm pretty messed up in the head and my anger issues are out of control. When I'm mad all hell breaks loose, I get in peoples faces screaming, shoving, I hit people, I throw things, I have even choked my twin sister. This year I have...
    AnonymousBatman AnonymousBatman 13-15 Jun 26, 2013

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    If They Only Knew...

    I am outwardly a very happy person. Nobody would ever know what goes on in my head. No one would ever expect it.   Sometimes the people around me are SO IGNORANT. I hate it, I can't stand how stupid everyone is. I hate people! People are morons. Whiny, little, self...
    LilahDearest LilahDearest 18-21, F 3 Responses Nov 4, 2008

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    I'm Disappearing

    Not to say I ever even really existed in the first place. I constantly can not tell when my dreams stop and reality begins. The only time I feel like I am actually there is when I'm in pain or high. This sense of nothingness is leading me down a road of despair and I can't...
    KeepThoseEyesOpen KeepThoseEyesOpen 18-21 3 Responses Feb 25, 2010

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    I Hate Myself And Fear Myself

    It seems that no matter what I do, no matter how good my intentions are, I can do nothing but hurt people. I can't seem to be around a group of people for more than a few months before I start to become unable to be around them anymore and I have to move on. I have no friends and...
    silvertongue16 silvertongue16 16-17 1 Response May 7, 2011

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    I’m afraid of hurting people.

    I always hurt someone when people get too close. The only times I can talk to people is by doing street magic or by trying to help them with their problems. Either way, those are the only times I feel I’m doing something good for someone, the only times I feel people like me...
    l0kar l0kar 16-17, M 1 Response Jul 12

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    My Thoughts...my Dreams...

       I am afraid of what I could do. I am afraid of what I WILL do. I am afraid of who I am.    I've started having dreams that scare the **** out of me. Could I really do any of that? I am worried that I could..without batting an eye. I dream of...
    luckypickle luckypickle 26-30 9 Responses Sep 27, 2009

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    I am afraid of my angry self.

    Normally I am calm and like everyone else. But when people make me angry, I have a tendency to yell at people and swear at them so that I don't physically hurt them. It generally happens when someone hits something that is very close and dear to me, and it doesn't help that I am...
    leoninja leoninja 16-17, F 1 Response Dec 28, 2013

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    I Dont Want To Be Crazy

    My biggest fear, that is deepest to my core and always there, is of going crazy. Im so afraid of literally losing my mind or manifesting a disorder. Im so afraid that if I do, I will be alone. I frequently have nightmares of this. The latest one I had slit my wrists, blood...
    ineffable76 ineffable76 18-21, F 8 Responses Sep 11, 2012

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    Keep Me Safe From Myself

    I'm terrified of myself.my life hasn't been all sunshine and daisies, with my parents both passing away from cancer at the end of last year, my gran passing away two weeks ago and my sister who has down syndrome is barley hanging on by a thread.id do anything to see them again...
    boeboeQ boeboeQ 16-17, F 2 Responses Jun 29, 2011

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    The World Comes Crashing And! What?

    Soo what do you do when you feel like the world is crashing and you don’t even have the energy to care? That is how I feel right now. I hate this- because its not me, it is other people, things outside of my control, that have put me in this state. I am to blame, ultimately...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Mar 13, 2012

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    I Am Afraid of What I Could...

    I am afraid of what I could do to someone if I get really mad, so yes at times I am afraid of myself.
    Tanya10578 Tanya10578 31-35 1 Response Jun 28, 2009

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    It´s All On Me!

    I´m afraid of myself because I´m very unstable and can´t seem to deal with my emotions properly. It´s very common for me to spend a whole day feeling alright, until night comes. And like some kind of werewolf, something (I don´t know what or why...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Oct 24, 2008

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    Afraid

    I am afraid of myself because ever since I was little I've always been to do what Im told like alot of people, but now Im almost old enough to make my own decisions in life, and so now I have a boyfriend and he thinks that Im afraid to live little and enjoy life, because I grew...
    Saiya Saiya 16-17, F 1 Response May 30, 2009

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    I'm Not Sure

    I have started to enjoy mentally and slightly physically harming others. and get headaches and cramps if I'm not hurting someone for a couple of days. One time, one of my classmates sat in my chair, and I flipped him out, and nearly slammed his head into a marble table corner...
    BPLP123 BPLP123 13-15 1 Response Jun 29, 2011

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    Im Scared

    I'm really scared of heights and I live on the third floor and every evening I wanna jump because Im scared just wanna see if any one else have this and maybe you know how to deal with it:) thank you so much this is driving me crazy!
    linute linute 22-25, F 1 Response Apr 16, 2010

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    I try to control myself,

    I have trained myself to be polite but otherwise I am a aggressive ******* sometimes.
    persononinternet persononinternet 16-17, M Jan 12

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    Losing Me

    I am afraid. I am afriad of myself. I am afraid of the world. I don't know whats happened to me. I used to have emotions and I used to be happy with life. Every once in a while I become a monster. My mom and I get into a fight. In the moment its scary. And then I find myself...
    beachcutie806 beachcutie806 13-15 Jan 9, 2011

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    I am afraid to do the things I sincerely want

    to do. I want to paint, to draw, make movies; I want to make them with the unknown beauty that lays somewhere in my mind. But to reach that unknown beauty I have to open up my mind. But that's also the place where my demons lay. I am scared that I will wake them again. They'll...
    MiniMelancholy MiniMelancholy 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 10

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    I Am Fearful For My Life Some Nights.

    I just have to get this out. I am living a constant battle in my head. I have 3 distinct 'spirits', moods, characters, or whatever you feel fits best.There is the calm, gentle, caring side of me. This is me. The one who is shy when it comes to talking to people, the one who is...
    packersfan423 packersfan423 22-25 3 Responses May 26, 2012

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    If There Is Anything..

    If there is anything I am truly afraid of it is myself because I know that my mind can destroy everything else that I fear. The fear of losing the two people I value more than my own life. I am the only one capable of making them be truly dead to me. It is by my power and will...
    HanaNoMizu HanaNoMizu 22-25, F 8 Responses Jun 29, 2009

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    Related Experiences

    Hi. My names Justin and I am Pan/Bi. I have always been afraid of being rejected by any person that I have fallen for because I haven't had the best relationships in the world...
    justinbartolome justinbartolome 13-15, M 2 Responses 1 hr ago

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    I've always found happiness through other people. I've relied on past boyfriends to make me smile, feel comfortable, and feel like I have worth. When I felt special to someone it...
    GabbyCot GabbyCot 18-21, F 1 Response 1 hr ago

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    I used to be isolated, even with a nice group of friends but I never liked it. I decided I would be a loner again and it worked! I actually missed being alone and now I am free to...
    WolvesSong WolvesSong 13-15, F 1 hr ago

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    Well I was lost my whole life because my childhood wasn't normal but on the beginning of this year at age 16 I've tried my best to find myself and I did now I'm most 17 and I can't...
    freedom16 freedom16 16-17, F 28 mins ago

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    Well, here goes nothing.. 1) I'm fifteen, turning sixteen in September 2) I want to be either an author or surgeon when I'm older. 3) I have a niece who just turned three and I...
    restoringforce restoringforce 13-15, F Jul 9

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    I am so afraid of everything: going out and having fun, making a fool of myself, talking to people, even that I'm bothering everybody that are my friends. But at the same time, I...
    AngelLux AngelLux 16-17, F Jul 13

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    I don't know what's wrong with me lately. I'm having this huge fear of death and nothing seems to bring me joy, the sound of thunder and lightning seems to be sending chills down...
    YoungHeartOldSoul YoungHeartOldSoul 18-21, F Jul 17

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    Why can’t I just be me? Do I have to always measure myself against what others will think of me? Sometimes I just think on things too much, I guess we all do. But why do I worry...
    MatildaEve MatildaEve 41-45, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    I feel like I have so much to lose. I keep so many memories locked away and would consider myself a pack rat of good times. I write down things that make me laugh and things that...
    Anticloud Anticloud 18-21, M 2 Responses Jul 4

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    For various reasons: I'm afraid of child birth, I'm afraid of raising them wrong and not being able to care for them properly, and when I'm being honest with myself, sometimes I'm...
    NoYourComstock NoYourComstock 22-25, F 1 Response Jul 19

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    I separated from my husband 3 years ago. It was a really messed up relationship and he cheated time after time. I became more and more insecure as time went on. Eventually I found...
    ThatsSuze ThatsSuze 22-25 Jul 7

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    Not sure whether it's just me but I find myself really limited in what I can do and how I socially interact with people because I'm afraid of what they'll think of me and how that...
    ThatAwkwardOne ThatAwkwardOne 13-15, M 1 Response Jul 2

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    I'm not exactly sure how I came to fear doing this. Memories from my childhood fogged now I can't recall the specifics. In general, it was probably my family and how they were mean...
    StokesQuirky StokesQuirky 18-21, F Jul 11

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    I have never truly been able to get close to someone without trying to find any fault i could within them. I found that if i could find those imperfections, it would make it 10...
    shesonlyhappyinthesun shesonlyhappyinthesun 22-25, F 2 Responses Jul 16

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    I'm afraid to really be myself anymore. People nowadays judge everyone on anything. The way they dress, how much they weigh, pretty much anything. When I see someone looking at me...
    bekoveranything bekoveranything 13-15, F 10 Responses 5 days ago

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    I want to experience relationships. I have crushes and everything but I'm afraid I won't ever get to date someone in my high school life because of my race. My school is pretty...
    SincerelyMYlife SincerelyMYlife 13-15, F 2 hrs ago

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    well , to start .. i'm actually not a confident person , i do care about what people think of me ! like a lot , so i really can't be myself when i go out with my friends or when i...
    takwa1 takwa1 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 5

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    When I first arrived in Ibiza it was very difficult for anyone to get to know me. I was afraid to smile and socialize because I cared too much about what other people thought. I...
    Badtimanonymous Badtimanonymous 31-35, M Jul 6

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    I'm afraid it won't work. I'm in love with this one girl. I truly love her. She's everything. But, she wants to be a vet. I'd be okay with it except how she wants to become one. I...
    white701 white701 18-21, M 1 Response Jul 10

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