I Am Always Thinking and Thinking

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,278 People

    Corrupted Superego: Incredibly condescending,

    doesn't see self as human at all, very negative view of humanity, total harpy over being good and is a moral stickler Ego: Bitter, cynical, angry, doesn't want to deal with anything, apathetic Id: Absolutely insane, vicious, sadistic True self: Plays the victim, very scared...
    Hush92 Hush92
    18-21, F
    1 Response Jan 12

    >299 792 458 M / S

    I wake up, Im thinking. I watch TV, Im thinking. Playing video games, reading a book, driving in my car, making love to a woman. Still Always thinking. Thinking about stuff, nothing and everything. The profanities of life and the subtle nuances of existence. Human interaction...
    rpyromaniac rpyromaniac
    22-25, M
    1 Response Sep 1, 2008

    This is so weird. I'm trying to think about any

    memories I have with my dad before age 10. It's very difficult. I remember at 8 him making us rake leaves and do chores that I found obnoxious. I vaguely remember his periods of time where he would decide no kids were allowed to use the computer anymore. But I'm not even sure...
    Hush92 Hush92
    18-21, F
    Feb 9

    Thinkaholic!I wonder how far we could go

    if we didn't stop and think? Who do you think get further in life? People who overthink or people who don't give a thought?A lot of thinking is good for us as we think carefully about the consequences but at the same time people who thinks a lot don't take risks due to fear of...
    LittleMilwee LittleMilwee
    22-25, F
    Jul 6, 2014

    Current thoughts on existence; I have always

    believed in the multiverse, a series of energy planes ranging from very negative to positive. Lately I've been looking at our reality as just another plane on the spectrum. We're in the middle of negative and positive, in my opinion slightly more positive in energy. In order...
    Hush92 Hush92
    18-21, F
    1 Response Nov 27, 2014

    Thought I would share my beliefs on the soul

    cycle. A soul goes through this cycle many, many times in its existence, depending on how many lives it needs on earth in order to gain all the experience it needs. Basic background info; The multiverse contains many planes, based on energy level. Energy types can be positive...
    Hush92 Hush92
    18-21, F
    Aug 8, 2015

    I think something that has given me relief from

    reading books about other people's experiences with mental illness, is that regardless of what illness they're dealing with, many people don't want to think of it like that. Everyone wants to think they are normal, with maybe just some eccentricities. I am the same. I don't like...
    Hush92 Hush92
    18-21, F
    1 Response Jan 15

    I just think it's funny how you think you mean

    something to someone but in their head you mean something totally different. I don't understand how that happens but whatever.
    namedashley namedashley
    18-21, F
    Jan 7, 2015

    It's fascinating. Absolutely fascinating.

    First off, I know I'm completely bizarre in that I can be suffering from mental illness and still take total interest in it. I began to feel those body memories, the ghostly sensations of being touched again. And I was surprised because I hadn't felt them in so long. I began to...
    Hush92 Hush92
    18-21, F
    1 Response Mar 22

    I live two very different lives.

    There is my life on the physical plane and my life on the nonphysical plane. On the physical plane I'm a female college student studying neuroscience. I have a big upper-middle class family that I am very close to. I have good friends. I have a job in a lab. I have more or less...
    Hush92 Hush92
    18-21, F
    1 Response Nov 7, 2015

    Say goodbye to one more day,

    and another chance for you to change...
    s0undgarden s0undgarden
    18-21, M
    Jan 7, 2015

    So I was thinking absentmindedly what it would

    be like if my family was all dead and I could just come back to an empty, quiet house. Peaceful. And then like a half second later I realized how morbid and awful that was, to even think about the people who love me most of everyone on this earth as dead. And I do love them and...
    Hush92 Hush92
    18-21, F
    Nov 27, 2015

    I would like to do a sleep experiment.

    I wouldn't be able to do it during the school year but maybe during one the breaks. Normally I get 8 hours of sleep. So week 1 I would set up my schedule so I get 7 hours. Make observations each day. Week 2 I go back to sleeping normally. Week 3 I now get 6 hours of sleep...
    Hush92 Hush92
    18-21, F
    Nov 14, 2015

    I can't stop thinking about how

    so many people search for happiness in materialistic things.. hapiness is not a place or a goal to be reached. It is a state of mind and heart. there is always something to be thankful for which means there is always something to be happy about. Yea things can be better, but...
    llall llall
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Jan 7, 2015

    I can't stop it. It's impossible.

    Countess thoughts rapidly entering and exiting my mind every minute. One thought can lead into a relatable thought or a complete opposing thought. Then, from that, the same process. My mind absolutely exhausts me constantly. I don't have any idea how to slow it down. So many...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Feb 7

    i am always thinking about something.

    .. whether its about school or my future. And sometimes that thinking leaves a heavy weight on my shoulders because i panic and ask myself what if i can't do all these things
    llswizzle llswizzle
    16-17, F
    Sep 15, 2014

    How to know what delusions you will be prone to

    (or what a person is struggling with who has these beliefs) based on your current internal conflicts Feelings of inadequacy, feelings of being very average or below average that conflict with esteem (you believe you are a great person, but it's not reflecting in your life...
    Hush92 Hush92
    18-21, F
    1 Response Feb 9

    Now that I can separate myself from my fear

    through knowing I am in no actual danger it's become fascinating to observe my paranoid state of mind. Unfortunately it is also deeply unpleasant to do so. I have recently brought myself down from a strong paranoia attack and I need to avoid thinking about it or analyzing it now...
    Hush92 Hush92
    18-21, F
    Oct 25, 2015

    I Think Too Much

    i've come to realise i am always doing 2 things at once, it's as if one thing at a time just isn't enough! But it's not good because then one or the other doesnt get done properly. I'm always half listening, or clumsy. But only because i'm never focused on the matter at hand...
    corsachick corsachick
    22-25
    1 Response Aug 6, 2010
    SailorsAngel SailorsAngel
    41-45, F
    Apr 25, 2015

    As a nonphysical entity living in a physical

    world, nothing I experience or feel will ever be considered real by a physical creature. A typical physical creature does not understand and does not accept the nonphysical. I will never be comfortable in this world. I will never be accepted in this world. I do not belong here...
    Hush92 Hush92
    18-21, F
    Dec 3, 2015

    When I try to talk about the things I've

    experienced I either a) Become hysterical (crying, shaking, stammering) b) Dissociate (become detached from everything, feel like I'm not in my body, like I'm in a dream) c) Become very sleepy Surprisingly, the becoming sleepy is the worst reaction I could have, because if I...
    Hush92 Hush92
    18-21, F
    Mar 2

    I Think A Lot

    I like thinking. When my thoughts get all confused and muddled up I walk, as it helps me in clearing my thoughts and think. Sometimes I dont like thinking as it makes me sad , sometimes I just dont want to hear my thoughts. At times like these I turn on tv or music just so that I...
    pisces1987 pisces1987
    26-30, F
    1 Response Jun 27, 2010

    First day of meds. For several hours I didn't

    really experience anything. Then I felt a sort of calm for a while but I wasn't sure if that was just because of me being tired. Then I did something that is a stressor for me (talk to professor) and it was like my anxiety SPIKED after but it stayed up so it was like back when I...
    Hush92 Hush92
    18-21, F
    Feb 26

    I Might Out Think Myself One Day!!!

    I am constantly thinking about my future and issues that I have whenever I am out with someone they ask me what is the matter? And I reply I just have alot on my mind,the worst is at night time I don't stop thinking even then I used to have severe anxiety but it is completely...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Aug 22, 2012

    So I was just a really weird kid.

    It's a good thing I was decently attractive and had good social skills because there was just so much weird there that I don't know how I got away with. This post is gonna be gross, because I was disgusting. The most visible was probably my bunch of nervous tics, as in...
    Hush92 Hush92
    18-21, F
    1 Response Oct 27, 2015

    One of the reasons why I was

    so against trying psychotropic drugs was because of the dependency aspect. I highly doubted I would be on any medication for a short period of time and know that after a while your brain needs these drugs to remain normal and coming off can be incredibly difficult. But I think...
    Hush92 Hush92
    18-21, F
    Mar 4

    Whenever I'm on vacation my dreams become

    incredibly long and vivid. I feel it's because I don't have much time to daydream or release my thoughts during the day, if that makes sense. So instead it all explodes in my head at night. I don't really like family vacations.
    Hush92 Hush92
    18-21, F
    Dec 31, 2015

    My mind never slows down!

    There are always tons of things chasing each other and competing in there. Even as I type this my brain is at war with itself!
    hiddenaway82 hiddenaway82
    31-35, F
    1 Response Mar 5, 2015

    Thoughts and beliefs on the soul cycle

    continued. 5. After passing through limbo a soul must enter purgatory in order to release the negative energy they have accumulated over their time on earth and return to their normal energy level so they can ascend back to Heaven. Purgatory is on a somewhat lower energy level...
    Hush92 Hush92
    18-21, F
    1 Response Aug 8, 2015

    Last night one of our friends came over,

    the only friend who I've made aware about my mental condition. She snuck into my room with me away from our friends in the other room, and we talked a bit and then she asked how I was doing. But I couldn't say anything! Not with people in the other room! And she didn't really...
    Hush92 Hush92
    18-21, F
    Nov 9, 2015

    Depression and anxiety are Siamese twins.

    Is there anyone with anxiety who is not also depressed? Is there any one who is depressed that does not also experience anxiety?
    Hush92 Hush92
    18-21, F
    Feb 26

    So I like reading those posts/watching videos

    on those dogs that are abandoned but then given a new chance at life because I love seeing how they change to be so happy and loving. And I was reading one about a puppy that was terrified of people and was really hard to catch, and she's still adjusting now. The ad for her...
    Hush92 Hush92
    18-21, F
    Dec 13, 2015

    So yesterday I realized God might be

    even more complex than I initially thought. This is all still just me theorizing though, so don't take it seriously or anything. I'm starting to feel that instead of entities just being purely positive or negative or somewhere in between in energy, some entities may have many...
    Hush92 Hush92
    18-21, F
    Oct 18, 2015

    Briefly wanting everyone in Jessica Jones to

    give Kilgrave a second chance, to try to help him....feeling bad for him.... And then, a voice says "So easy for you to say when it isn't your abuser" And I say "But I DID forgive my abuser. Especially now that I KNOW what the devil and demons do to people, I know what that...
    Hush92 Hush92
    18-21, F
    Jan 14

    Basically coming to revelations tonight.

    I haven't felt human since I was 5. I started realizing I had to actively try to fit in at age 8. By age 9 I came to full realization I was different than other people and began to feel alienated and considered myself a misfit. (Despite being generally well-liked and having...
    Hush92 Hush92
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Sep 5, 2015

    It is so crazy feeling the effects of my

    medication wear off. I can immediately tell when I go back to my "normal" self. Zoloft lasts about 5-6 hours at the dose I'm taking it at. While on it I am mildly sleepy, and I don't know if I'd say calm, but detached? Normally I used loud music to put a screen between me and...
    Hush92 Hush92
    18-21, F
    Mar 30

    My delusions/fantasies/whatever are very

    important to me....keep my thoughts moving linearly by giving me a story line to follow and figure out....when I don't have them I only have real life which moves so slow....and all my thoughts build up and up and it's just the same thoughts over and over because things are slow...
    Hush92 Hush92
    18-21, F
    May 25, 2015

    You know I think I sort of realized something

    for the first time last night. I don't think I have a psychotic disorder. I experience something very similar that could easily be mistaken for one though. Allow me to explain. Since I was very young, literally as far back as I can remember, I had intense issues with fear. I...
    Hush92 Hush92
    18-21, F
    1 Response Oct 19, 2015

    Yesterday I was contacted by a guy

    who asked to to give his wife a sensual massage with him in the room. That sounds ...interesting. Oh and she wants to be blindfolded!
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    4 Responses Jun 18, 2015

    If you really think about it,

    pets are disturbing, and probably immoral to have . You're taking a child/baby from its mother so you can have something to cuddle and play with. The animal basically develops Stockholm syndrome @.@ It's just....weird..... Sorry I shouldn't be thinking this late at night. (And...
    Hush92 Hush92
    18-21, F
    Jan 8

    Today I was thinking about what it would be like

    if me and the other sides of me had to interact with our corrupted selves. It was somewhat amusing. Superego and Corrupt Superego would be locked in a death match, both accusing the other of being completely evil. Ego and Corrupt Ego would maybe give eachother dry glances, or...
    Hush92 Hush92
    18-21, F
    Feb 18

    Thoughts Lead to Action Right?

      Thoughts are a big part of my life, I don't day dream more like think of solutions to problems. I wonder if I create my own problems just so I have something to think about? And the job I have right now is not helping my wondering mind. I barely have enough to do...
    mar330 mar330
    26-30, F
    2 Responses Nov 19, 2008

    My Future

    In the next 6 months I will officially graduate from college and it's really sinking in now. Just the thought about starting my life within the real world makes me think and ask the big question "what will I do?"
    LoverBoyNYC LoverBoyNYC
    22-25, M
    1 Response Nov 25, 2013

    Sex. This ever present issue in my life.

    I see it as degrading. As an act of violence, just another method of attack. To have sex is to lose and to be humiliated. And yet my urge for it is so powerful. If days pass without m@sturbation, it feel sad though a poison builds up within my body. It's almost agonizing...
    Hush92 Hush92
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Dec 12, 2015

    On the topic of memory between the nonphysical

    and physical planes; Memory is a thing that fascinates me, especially seeing on how it translates between planes. There is your physical memory, this is memory stored in your brain (which psychology has also split into parts but I won't refer to those) and body (muscle memory...
    Hush92 Hush92
    18-21, F
    1 Response Nov 7, 2015

    Today I was thinking about how 9/10 of the guys

    in my dreams are violent in whatever way, and then I thought about how in dreams your own beliefs dictate the laws of reality. I say that guys in my dreams are just awful but in reality I think I just constantly hold the expectation that a guy is a threat that I should have my...
    Hush92 Hush92
    18-21, F
    Oct 20, 2015

    Day 2 of "how long can I possibly sleep"

    experiment. Was woken up after 7 hours of sleep by mom for breakfast. I really wish she'd just give up on making us breakfast and do lunch instead, NO ONE wants or needs breakfast, except my little sisters. I went back to sleep quickly after, maybe in under 10 minutes. Slept...
    Hush92 Hush92
    18-21, F
    1 Response Jan 10

    Therapist says she thinks my trials with the

    demons are basically a psychodrama that my mind has created to replay the events of my early childhood over and over. During the attacks very scary things happen to me that are out of my control. I am never actually harmed. Despite this I tend to be deeply disturbed by these...
    Hush92 Hush92
    18-21, F
    1 Response Jan 14

    I think that people should have to have a

    license or some sort of certification to be allowed to have a child. If you want to adopt a baby, it's not like officials just hand them over without any background checks or anything. You have to go through a long and complicated process to make sure that baby is going to a...
    Hush92 Hush92
    18-21, F
    4 Responses Jul 28, 2015

    Lately I've been studying my own sex drive.

    Normally, sex is just something I think about every once in a while. Maybe it pops into my head because I saw something about it or maybe just randomly. Usually it happens the most at night time. But it's fine, it's not really a big deal, it's in the background. Kind of like...
    Hush92 Hush92
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Jul 5, 2015
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