I Am Amazed At How Many People Are In A Sexless Marriage

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,361 People

    Technically, "sexless" is considered less

    than ten times per year. Before I researched and found that fact, I was coolly blaming myself for being to bothered about it. Once finding that fact I have become obsessed with finding answers through EP, and wondering if people ever find solutions. In my situation, ten...
    notsocomplex notsocomplex
    36-40, F
    8 Responses Aug 18, 2015

    Hello We've had various exchanges over

    the course of our becoming aware of each other. I know you don't know who I am - but I do know who you are. Let me tell you about the impact you've had on my life. The things I am grateful for. Two months ago, I came to your place of work. You didn't know who I was...
    AmazingPoet AmazingPoet
    41-45, M
    3 Responses Mar 13

    I don't want to say that I'm glad that

    so many people are living in sexless marriages, but it's very cathartic reading everyones stories. I feel better knowing my story isnt all that special. I want to share it eventually but I spent so much time hiding it that I'm finding it difficult to let it out. I'm just...
    Bostero12 Bostero12
    31-35, M
    5 Responses Oct 30, 2015

    I like being that other man,

    it is so hot to be with a married woman, something about it really turns me on, especially if I get to cream in her, mmmm oh yeah!
    1niceguy4u 1niceguy4u
    51-55, M
    1 Response Oct 8, 2015

    Over the past five days I have had more sex

    than I have ever had in my marriage. I truly have felt more passion, Romance, and Love than I have ever dreamed possible. I didn't know that there are loving affectionate women out there like me. It was an all you can eat buffet and I was allowed to get seconds thirds fourths...
    AmazingPoet AmazingPoet
    41-45, M
    4 Responses Apr 14

    In bed next to my wife.

    Wide awake on my phone staring at the ceiling. I tried to initiate, which as usual ended in a series of excuses capped off by her snoring. So I'm laying here, on EP, trying to decide whether to head to the bathroom and dial up some p-rntube, head to the couch in protest or...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    6 Responses Dec 6, 2014
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    4 Responses Jul 30, 2015

    it amazing to me how I asked him

    for a divorce on Thursday and he been trying to get in my pants for four days now are u ducking kidding me now ... what is with that why do this I have wanted u for eight years and nothing now u want to sniff around ugh ...go away
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    6 Responses Nov 1, 2015

    I am in sexless marriage.

    My wife is a survivor of childhood sexual abuse (as am I) and is recovering from Lyme disease. She seems quite well now, in every respect but libido. Sex was never our strong suit and between her childhood abuse, Lyme, and a busy life, she just never feels up to it. For many...
    MonsieurBonBon MonsieurBonBon
    61-65, M
    2 Responses Nov 11, 2015

    Wow there are a lot of stories about this

    and yes I have written too. But in my own heart, I believe there is something under lying in the whole marriage and lack of. I think it is the lack of friendship. I think most of us, not all........, seem to have forgotten how to talk and be friends. In the beginning we could...
    Hikingguy Hikingguy
    46-50, M
    7 Responses Sep 11, 2014

    My current boyfriend loves sex

    so much that I can't keep up with him. He'll be after be several times a day if he can. If I'm with him at his house we have sex at least once a day but usually more because I don't see him everyday. Today I found out we can't have sex for ten days because of a medical reason...
    ccm22 ccm22
    22-25, F
    10 Responses Aug 5, 2015

    My partner suffers from low T

    and now ED. His sex drive has never been as high as mine, but now it's non existent. I'm not sure if I can subject myself to the remaining years of my life in celibacy?
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    6 Responses Jul 26, 2015
    AlmostP3rfekt AlmostP3rfekt
    31-35, F
    1 Response Jan 17

    have been married for 27 years,

    and the last five have been completely sexless. My wife had a hysterectomy and now refuses to go back to the doctor to determine the cause of painful sex. She tells me that is just the way it is and I have to get used to it. I don’t want her to have sex that may be painful and...
    flashjohn flashjohn
    46-50
    10 Responses Jan 11

    world this is a open confession.

    I remember about 4 years ago I came to EP and I had no compassion for the I Live in a Sexless Marriage group. I use to think how in the world can someone do that? At that time I was not living in reality because my sex life was the pits. I will have you to know it did NOT get...
    Babeondwy Babeondwy
    41-45, F
    2 Responses Aug 9, 2015

    WHYYYYYY??? Why do I do it?

    Why do I reach out knowing that I will be rejected physically and emotionally? I keep swearing to myself that I won't reach out again, and then I do. Must. Stop.
    hrhjck hrhjck
    46-50, F
    17 Responses Sep 15, 2015
    auskez auskez
    46-50, F
    4 Responses Oct 18, 2015

    I was not married to this man,

    but I recently left a five-year relationship because there was virtually no intimacy in the last three years. This man had Aspergers Syndrome. I am not saying this was the whole issue, but many people with this have sexual problems. Look it up.
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Nov 7, 2015

    I am amazed that people live supposedly married

    and without sex because I live in a sex filled marriage. We make love EVERY day and have done so for years. Frankly living without love and the sexual expression of making love is NOT a marriage and I don't understand why people would accept life in this way. We don't do...
    pdqsailor1 pdqsailor1
    51-55, M
    10 Responses Dec 21, 2015

    I met the soul who is

    now my wife and fell in love with her some years ago. I would do anything to ensure the happiness and safety of her and her daughter no questions asked and I believe she knows that. My wife, the love of my life, and I had wonderful intermittently at first but for the past two...
    Dropbear Dropbear
    46-50, M
    3 Responses Oct 7, 2015

    Me and my husband havent slept in the same room

    for 3 years and he just informed me that he loves me and wants to sleep in our bedroom together again from now on.
    jennaveivea jennaveivea
    36-40, F
    16 Responses Sep 2, 2014

    it really does amaze me how many people endure

    this and if I'm honest it scares me i hope i never inflict this on anyone or them me.
    woodyemma2013 woodyemma2013
    31-35, F
    6 Responses Jan 17

    I was super happy to hear from my friend

    who is getting divorced after 26 years. I gave him some advice and threw down a path for him to move forward with his life. Hearing that he took some of my advice made me so happy. He has a date this week. I told him to not sit around be complacent and lick his wounds. Life...
    AmazingPoet AmazingPoet
    41-45, M
    1 Response Mar 8

    The Band Shiny and Gold the truth

    that becomes us I said I love you and held you true Fondest of memories I have of you In the twilight distance of saddenned tears My band becomes us and holds us dear I look past it all now and I don’t know the words to say. The things that happened that caused us to...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    2 Responses Jan 17

    Hmmm. I recall being

    rather flabbergasted when I first discovered just how common this was. But not so much anymore. I have followed the iliasm stories and posts for a long time now. I love how supportive this group is of each other and I have learned so much from doing so. I can relate so very...
    snowberry75 snowberry75
    36-40, F
    10 Responses Nov 23, 2015

    Hubby and I started having sex the year

    before we were married. We have now been married 45 years and sex is still an important part of our relationship. When in bed with hubby, it is our time to focus on each other exclusively and seeing the pleased expression on his face when I give him a bj or as he enters me. Oh...
    louiselloyd louiselloyd
    70+, F
    5 Responses Aug 11, 2014

    I have had only one very long relationship in

    my life. Now I am starting new one, feel very much in love and very happy. My first relationship was not sexless, but sometimes not enough sex or always same type of sex can really make you feel down and feel unwanted and frustrated. I think it is very hard to find the perfect...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    4 Responses Feb 3

    so is it OK to cheat on your husband

    or wife? What are you supposed to do with her in a sexless marriage? what if no one wants to go to therapy, no one wants to talk about it… What do people do to satisfy this absolutely necessary need for physical intimacy?
    v0lition v0lition
    46-50, F
    6 Responses Nov 7, 2015

    Married for seven years- my husband hasn't

    WANTED me for the past 5. I have had my period more in one year than sex!! I have a roommate not a husband. I want to pull my hair out.
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    34 Responses Dec 27, 2015

    I became self aware one day

    when I found myself caught in my old behaviors talking to my girlfriend. I told her how often I needed affection and how I need to be held. I found myself haggling with her and bargaining to get my needs met. She stopped me in my tracks when she looked at me and said "...you...
    AmazingPoet AmazingPoet
    41-45, M
    1 Response Apr 17

    Just ended things. I've known it's been over

    for a long time. She cheated last year and I really haven't been able to get over it. Tbh I'm looking for someone to take my mind off of it. Pms welcome
    MidLifeMindset MidLifeMindset
    31-35, M
    2 Responses Mar 27

    It seem that I'm not alone,

    when I thought it was a rare issue. More people are in the same boat, its not my choice but I'm living with it and I'm not sure why, except I remember what lonely was, but is this really any better?
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    8 Responses Jul 19, 2015

    It's much easier to be single

    than to be with a partner. I know it sounds counterintuitive but not having a partner means zero expectations. It's much worse to be in a marriage or relationship where your partner has the snake antidote as opposed to being bit and no snake antidote. Trust me it's much...
    AmazingPoet AmazingPoet
    41-45, M
    Mar 11

    New Home for the ILIASM Community Folks

    dealing with sexless marriages have -- for years -- sought and offered support at the Experience Project in the experience “I Live In A Sexless Marriage” and related experiences. Member of “ILIASM” comprise all ages, walks of life, economic classes, and nationalities...
    ILIASMAllie ILIASMAllie
    46-50, F
    2 Responses Apr 4

    I just want to share.

    I joined this place after two years of struggles in my marriage. I have gone by various names in here : Thedarkenedshadow Dsop Some people have followed me on my journey. I have had a lot of friends here and a lot of people that have helped me along my journey. I just...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    5 Responses Jan 27

    I CANNOT BELIEVE WHAT I AM READING.

    .. I have read so many stories of sexless marriages on here.. No intimacy! I am so sorry for many of you. I was treating my spouse very similar for awhile, then he had affair. We are doing great now, but I feel terrible for treating him that way. I pray that many of you begin to...
    KeraJo75 KeraJo75
    41-45
    4 Responses Mar 25, 2015

    I know things on EP are coming to a close

    but I thought I would share my testimony. I want to start by saying "life is short, too short to be unhappy". A lot of you where were I once was months and years ago. You are all hoping that the passion comes back. That the sex and the romance comes back. Sadly, it doesn't...
    AmazingPoet AmazingPoet
    41-45, M
    2 Responses Apr 7

    Three months removed from this group.

    I'm so glad I am not married. No more having my needs weaponized against me. No more begging pleading for Affection I will never beg for affection ever again. I'd rather just do without .
    AmazingPoet AmazingPoet
    41-45, M
    1 Response Mar 1

    I thought married people did it all the time?

    But like everyone on here says they never do and that seems crazy to me
    CaseyCutiePie CaseyCutiePie
    13-15, F
    5 Responses Dec 31, 2015

    I was in a relationship

    that was sexless for the last three years out of five. I realize how hard it can be to leave, because most of us keep hoping that things will get better. In my case, my partner was good in so many ways: romantic gifts, never forgetting a holiday or birthday, wonderful to my...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    3 Responses Nov 8, 2015

    I am a living sex doll

    for my husband’s pleasure. My husband and I had a very active sex life until I lost my sex drive due to illness and medications. I have spoken to several doctors and it really is common for women like me to lose not only their sex drive, but I feel no sexual sensations from...
    KAM0764 KAM0764
    51-55, F
    7 Responses May 19, 2015

    Me: (trying to draw him into bedroom) I miss

    you. Him: (sighing) You miss sex. Me: Yes. And I miss the emotional connection. Him: We just sat at the table and had dinner together! We connected!!!! I don't even have the words to respond to that. Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot.
    hrhjck hrhjck
    46-50, F
    3 Responses Aug 9, 2015

    I'm 27. He's 38. We

    both came out of bad marriages. Lying, cheating, verbal abuse ect... We've been together a year a half. Not long, right? The sex used to be good. Sometimes amazing. He's always been kind of vanilla but always very giving. Lately though... The sex has dwindled...
    Sparklee05 Sparklee05
    26-30, F
    14 Responses Feb 3, 2015

    sadly the first person I ever met live in

    person was a lonely lady in a sexless marriage. We met online and began chatting, and decided to meet. So one Friday after work I drove up the coast for 5 hours to meet her. Got to her town and called, she gave me directions to her house, her husband was at work. I parked down...
    1niceguy4u 1niceguy4u
    51-55, M
    Sep 11, 2015

    This is me and my girlfriend.

    I love the heck out of her. She is so super affectionate and loving. I am so much happier now. I didn't meet her until after I left my ex. I went through quite a journey but I am so Much happier now it's insane !!!'
    AmazingPoet AmazingPoet
    41-45, M
    3 Responses Apr 13

    This is a subject near

    and dear to my heart but I want to share this with others that are out there - especially women. I've been going through some relearning. Now before I dive into this I am going to explain this is a super sensitive subject for me. My problem is that in my old relationship my...
    AmazingPoet AmazingPoet
    41-45, M
    1 Response Mar 11
More Stories