I Am An Addict

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 327 People

    Addict--Dealer Husband--Wife You sling at me

    daggers of accusation I'm a bottom feeding addict A worthless good for nothing HO Above me you sit your thrown Built from my pain and tears That which I used as an escape The poisonous treat so sweet Fed to me like an infant From your Dais fed by your own hand Each...
    zanyzoey zanyzoey
    41-45, F
    Dec 8, 2014

    Chocolate Is My Addiction.

    I never knew that chocolate could be called an addiction, until one day, I realized that I was needing more and more of it to keep from getting a headache and becoming irritable. This seemed to me like addictive behavior. So I looked it up. Sure enough it is as addictive as...
    Serenitree Serenitree
    70+, F
    2 Responses Jan 22, 2012

    It Was All A Dream

    My nightmares these days consist of me drinking.. but it's never really of the actual.. act, of me drinking, just all of a sudden holding an almost empty bottle of liquor, then I start getting really anxious, then - I wake up. One I remember very well, though very short - is...
    ruca28 ruca28
    31-35, M
    1 Response Jun 1, 2012

    For some addictions, your only option is to

    quit cold-turkey. because when you sin with your hands, no one can cut them off for you. only you can save you.
    hopelesslyalone7654321 hopelesslyalone7654321
    18-21, F
    Mar 12, 2015

    My Addiction Is Killing Me

     I come from a family of addicts, mostly alcoholics, and I quit drinking at 17 after learning I couldn't handle the stuff any better than anyone else in my family. I soon was smoking 3 packs a day and I quit that at age 30. Since then I've quite shopping compulsively and...
    chortleful chortleful
    61-65, F
    2 Responses Oct 23, 2009

    A Beautiful Mistake

     When I was 14 I got drunk for the first time then I started smoking marijuana, I got arrested my second time smoking marijuana. Great start to a promising career! Well then my family moved to greenville south carolina, and thats where I fell. I started to experiment with...
    snackmachine snackmachine
    26-30, M
    2 Responses Mar 8, 2009

    I am really scared for my future.

    I always dreamt of becoming a doctor and yes for the right reasons.To help the people who are generally declined or are unaware of the medical faclilities."the real sufferers down the streets".. To contribute my share to humanity. I got into medical school and started living at...
    DrPothead DrPothead
    18-21, M
    Nov 14, 2015

    Everyone has their own battles,

    some battle with alcohol and drugs, others battle things that most don't consider addictions. I have many addictions, and as a result I consider myself to have an addictive personality. I am addicted to cutting, the release I get from it is indescribable. I am so addicted to...
    katie5929 katie5929
    22-25, F
    4 Responses Jan 3, 2015

    I realize that the pills are completely in

    control. It's hard realizing everything I want to be. How far away those things seem. Sure. Lots of things seem attainable but all I really care about is having that love in my life. That seems so far away. I miss him. Pills took him away from me. I feel like a prisoner...
    LastofmyPeople LastofmyPeople
    31-35, F
    Jan 26, 2016

    The Big H!

    I am a heroin addict. That doesn't mean that I am currently using heroin every single day. I think addiction means that you are incapable of indulging in something moderately. I use to use it every day for a long time. This whole time, I denied my addiction, told people I was a...
    javierjay javierjay
    18-21, M
    1 Response Feb 21, 2012

    I sent my daughter to live with her father

    because I am an addict. I will never ever forgive myself.
    mandyownstimmy mandyownstimmy
    26-30, F
    2 Responses Jul 30, 2014

    I am in the grips of addiction

    as we speak. I live in a small town in Utah and I've never gotten a drug charge but still everybody knows my name. My husband is in drug court, the judge told him before we got married that he wasn't allowed to be with me. So we got married. We're still not allowed to be...
    danniG2005 danniG2005
    26-30, F
    3 Responses Jul 21, 2015

    I Am Your Disease

    I hate meetings, I hate anyone who has a Program.  To all who come in contact with me, I wish you death and suffering.  Allow me to introduce myself.  I am the disease of addiction.  Cunning, Baffling, Powerful -- that's me.  I have killed millions, and I...
    LanBobway LanBobway
    10 Responses May 7, 2008

    And nobody knows. It's suboxone now.

    It was hydro and perks before. I function. I do the things I have to do. But that's all. I have a Doctor now, instead of a drug dealer. Are they all that different? This is better. I'm off the roller coaster. But, I'm still an addict. And nobody knows.
    LeberLeber LeberLeber
    51-55, M
    1 Response Jul 10, 2014

    You Cant Fly On Broken Wings....

     From the first time I heard it I adopted this as my song about heroin and my life.You pulled me under so I had to give inSuch a beautiful mess that's breaking my skinWell I'll hide all the bruises; I'll hide all the damage that's doneBut I show how I'm feeling until all the...
    CharlieUniform CharlieUniform
    31-35, F
    13 Responses Apr 4, 2012

    I suffer from a progressive,

    incurable, and fatal disease of addiction. Born from two heroin addicts, I felt that I could not run away from it. My father died of a heroin induced heart attack when I was 2 years old. My mother became completely insane, sadistically abusing me and prostituting herself for...
    katsgone katsgone
    22-25, F
    1 Response Feb 12, 2014

    I've been doing pills

    since i was 14 years old. My mother is an addict to pills and meth and is currently in prison for a parole violation. i have periods where i do great with my sobriety but recently I've been relapsing constantly.
    bloodlover214 bloodlover214
    18-21, F
    Jan 17, 2015

    I Am An Addict.

    I went to a meeting. An A.A. meeting. I cryed, I talked, and I cryed some more. I'm still ******* crying. I just don't know how to do this. I want to be sober, but, I also want to get high. I want to be able to hold a job for more then four months. I want to be able to know how...
    VictemOfSuicide VictemOfSuicide
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Mar 10, 2010

    I will not be vacant any more.

    I have multiple addictions, and I am working through some tough things right now on several different levels. I am learning how deep my denial really has ran and it's been very deep. I am currently struggling with that little voice in the back of my head that is saying you can...
    deleted deleted
    2 Responses Sep 2, 2014

    I think I'm cured. I think the only reason I

    go completely mad over things and get addicted to them is when I'm told not to do so. it's simple rebellion.
    booklover200016 booklover200016
    16-17, F
    Apr 17, 2016

    I missed my AA meetings today.

    For no reason. It was not that cold either. Now I am Sturving. There is a MOMA Chinese Place. I would love to have some fried Shrimp Toast. Not that much either. Only $6.75 !!! I do have that, but... it is my only $10.00.. I am saving it for my Marl Bro Light ! Thank you for...
    clayache clayache
    70+, T
    Dec 9, 2014

    Even though I'm abstaining from drugs

    and alcohol, my addiction keeps resurfacing through other things, like food, ****/************, and excessive fantasizing. It's like it wants to drag me down and effect my life in whatever way it can.
    vertexsix vertexsix
    26-30, M
    Aug 30, 2014
    deleted deleted
    Aug 31, 2014

    There are some times,

    like right now, when you get a craving, and you think to yourself, 'just one little fix right now couldn't hurt, you know, just to hold me over until i'm distracted again.' But in that moment, you have to stop and think,' you know, this is just gonna be another 'one last time...
    hopelesslyalone7654321 hopelesslyalone7654321
    18-21, F
    Mar 12, 2015
    squjiggly squjiggly
    18-21, F
    Aug 31, 2014

    Why can I not keep myself sober.

    All the time I think to myself, "why am I not able to stay sober, what makes me want and crave that escape so bad?" There are so many thoughts out there about why a substance user keeps coming back (I hate the world addict, it has such a weak/broken connotation to it) . My...
    Kneehouse Kneehouse
    18-21, M
    1 Response Jan 28, 2015

    Changing my life for the better.

    I'm scared shitless, I forget what it feels like to not be chemical dependent and I'm terrified of another withdrawal :(
    lightninbug90 lightninbug90
    26-30, F
    1 Response Jan 14, 2015
    carter567 carter567
    41-45, M
    3 Responses Feb 10, 2015

    Does anyone know where I can get acid?

    Or mushrooms? I feel like my mind needs a good purge.
    Woody6 Woody6
    41-45, M
    1 Response Jul 31, 2015

    This Is From My Blog.

    I know, people will say, " you dont need to get high" well buddy, I do. I go crazy if I don't. I get depressed, I isolate, I get angry. I get paranoid-just to name a few. I haven't gotten high in a few days, so today was really hard to deal with. I feel like a bum, but, I didn...
    VictemOfSuicide VictemOfSuicide
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Mar 9, 2010

    I go mad once I'm online ,

    I don't care about anyone else, my family , friends ....I push everyone away . I attach myself to people , characters who are not real . people who don't exist ! and despite me understanding what I'm doing , I still can't control myself. The allure of a virtual world where I can...
    booklover200016 booklover200016
    16-17, F
    Feb 9, 2016

    My parents know i've been doing drugs again

    and my whole lifes spiraling down the drain, i was just sent home from work because i was zonin off xanax and i still have two years until i can get out of here..
    oftenunconscious oftenunconscious
    18-21, T
    Mar 3, 2016

    I am addicted to prescription pain killers.

    I finally told my best friend and my mom today. I told my mom to take the pills and hide them and not to keep them in my sight. I developed the problem about 3 years ago. I had a real bad tooth infection that had spread across my whole jaw, to my ears and down my throat. My neck...
    akrysrose akrysrose
    26-30, F
    1 Response Jul 16, 2014

    6 years 15-21 i been plagued with addiction hit

    rock bottom 3 times and didnt have enough i hate the word hope it implies there is doubt i have no doubt this time around i will concour this disease for what it is each day is a battle i can do this and this song from MGK helps its called lead you on its about his addiction but...
    rootzyz rootzyz
    22-25, M
    Feb 21, 2015

    ~benzodiazepine~ Sometimes I feel like benzo

    is my life partner or some weird thing along those lines. It coats my brain so things don't stick, it holds me tight so I can sleep. However,I am getting a little sick of people suddenly popping up I'm front of me and then gently gliding away before I've even registered what is...
    randomkid88 randomkid88
    22-25, M
    1 Response Apr 7, 2014


    That number is what keeps me going. 150 days today. No way do I want to start back at zero again. After spending over ten years addicted to prescription narcotics I am finally in the sunlight. I can finally feel again. This isn't the first time I've gotten sober but it is the...
    PixieOfDoom PixieOfDoom
    31-35, F
    3 Responses Feb 22, 2013

    It's been a slow and hard recovery

    since my last relapse. I still remember when I first hit it. 3 years ago it all started. I was hanging out with an older girl in a bathroom at a friends house. I remember her telling me she didn't want me to try it because I was young and naive but I assured her I was strong...
    gatsbyisdope gatsbyisdope
    22-25, M
    Nov 5, 2014

    So I did it, one month completely clean

    and sober. (: This is the longest time I've been completely sober in probably over 6 years. I always thought that being clean off of "hard drugs" was all that really mattered. And neglected to realize that hard drugs weren't my only problem. I have had really bad depression for...
    lightupmysky65 lightupmysky65
    22-25, F
    Jan 13, 2016


    "Hi my name is ....."    The voice inside my head tells me make something up. That right now in this circle , everyone around me is judging me. That I could be anyone ; they wouldnt care. Half of them court ordered to be there, and just in a hurry to jump on...
    hunny28 hunny28
    26-30, F
    2 Responses Jan 2, 2008

    Misery Loves Company

    I am addicted to a few things, but today, I want to talk about my addiction to opiates. I love them, all of them. Heroin was great but the needle got to be a pain in the ***. So I started using prescription opiates. Oxys, roxys, whatever. I had a great group of friends that...
    luvme23 luvme23
    36-40, F
    8 Responses Mar 9, 2013

    I started using drugs

    and drinking when i was about 11 i started drinking cause of an alcoholic step father that was very abusive also i had been molested 2x when i was very young my step father had some issues with 911 he was there and had witnessed entire thing and was dob and firefighter he lost...
    mburn mburn
    22-25, M
    Feb 19, 2016

    Monday, January 20. I had been smoking meth

    constantly since Friday. Seeking to get high, but it was no longer working. I had used the bill money to get another bag, as the $80 worth I had smoked earlier that day did nothing but make me angry that I could no longer seem to get high. Some tweeker "friends" showed up...
    StepOneJanuary20 StepOneJanuary20
    36-40, M
    4 Responses Jan 21, 2014

    I'm on the bus, and i want a fix really really

    bad. so bad it hurts. but i can't on the school bus. i feel like a freak. i feel out of control. i hate this! i'm not strong enough to get over this addiction. not on my own. but sadly, nobody knows what to do for me. so they stopped listening a long time ago. that's why i'm on...
    hopelesslyalone7654321 hopelesslyalone7654321
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Mar 16, 2015

    Endless Tunnel

    Those two words sum my life up.... I live my life like I am walking down an endless tunnel, desperately waiting to see the light to signify the end of this arduous journey. Sometimes I just wanna quit walking and give up, partly because I am depressed and partly because I fear...
    ZeppelinGods ZeppelinGods
    18-21, M
    2 Responses Oct 31, 2012

    And you wouldn't be able to tell me apart from

    anyone else you meet of a respectable education and mannerisms. An addict is no different than the average person, and struggles with so much on a daily basis. I am still human, and have compassion for others. I wish for us as a people to love one another as they do their...
    Aguynamedbill Aguynamedbill
    36-40, M
    2 Responses Mar 1, 2014

    Get Them While They Are Young

    Psychologists say that there is a critical age, between 9-12, during which children form much of their emotional identity. This was the period of my life with the most upheaval, and it left me completely unable to function socially. I was drunk for the first time at age 7. At...
    sjgerby sjgerby
    36-40, M
    5 Responses Nov 21, 2013

    I made all my own choices

    that took me down this road and earned me this title. Im not proud or ashamed that ive become this but i have forgiven myself. I used drugs and alcohol form the time i was 14 to 28 and lots of those moments of being wasted i dont remember and the ones that i do continue to hunt...
    UnexpectedSuspect UnexpectedSuspect
    Mar 3, 2016

    My Addiction

    I don't think it's right that some addictions are considered more acceptable than others. Personally I'm addicted to alcohol, nicotine and caffeine. In a lot of peoples minds my addictions are considered socially acceptable, in a way that say heroin isn't. One of the things I...
    Illiteratetroll Illiteratetroll
    4 Responses Aug 24, 2012

    F me, right??!??!?!? Anyone else have a problem

    with that?? Do you not like to hear my constant cries for help?? It seems to me that they are 'too inappropriate' for the likes of this website.... maybe i'm the one with the misunderstanding...i thought this was a website where people could share their problems and get help...
    hopelesslyalone7654321 hopelesslyalone7654321
    18-21, F
    1 Response Mar 15, 2015


    !!! Lol when I got my four packs the other day I was so excited my entire body was shaking and I practically ripped open the pack in the store, stuck one in my mouth and ran outside so I could light it dropped all my **** and smoked the entire pack in an hour lol all of the four...
    Tigerlily53 Tigerlily53
    22-25, F
    1 Response Oct 28, 2014

    I can't be happy if I don't use.

    I have had the worst case scenarios all happen. I'm willing to let it take me out rather than deal with the reality of my life.
    deleted deleted
    Aug 31, 2015
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