I Am An Adult Survivor of Childhood Abuse

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 490 People

    we used to go to a disabled swimming club

    when I was about 6 or 7 my oldest brother could already swim a man named John wanted to teach me to swim my mum agreed & told me to do what I was told and behave John took me away from the others & got me to lay across his hands one to my chest the other on my blue...
    deleted deleted
    3 Responses Jan 31, 2016

    So, as I wrote before I am in relational group

    trauma therapy for women who have survived childhood abuse. It is an intense program that I attend four days a week for three hours a day and lasting eight weeks. Today is the middle of week six for me.I am so happy that I have the opportunity to participate in this program...
    netherose netherose
    46-50, F
    2 Responses Jan 13, 2015

    I'm a survivor of childhood abuse,

    but I will never get over it. My parents destroyed my self esteem,and everyday I consider killing myself. The worst part is people tell me just get over it or everyone goes through that. That just continues the abuse.
    Willpeace Willpeace
    41-45, M
    Dec 18, 2015

    Could Use Some Love.

    I can't tell you of the earliest experience of abuse by my father. My earliest is memory is of being a baby scared of him for my mother. As a little girl I was always afraid he was either going to kill her and I would be left all alone, or that she would realize she could be so...
    KristinaSunshine KristinaSunshine
    31-35, F
    1 Response Oct 25, 2013


    I was abused by a neighborhood boy about 5 or 6 years older than me when I was about 8 or 9 maybe 10 years old. He befriended some of my friends and I then abused us. I carried that shame and guilty for over 40 years until just recently I began seeing a counselor. It's not our...
    deleted deleted
    1 Response May 16, 2013

    I had a difficult time accepting

    that I had been abused as a child. Part of the reason for that is because growing up in that environment one tends to normalize what happened. (Technically I guess it *is* normal if that's what you grow up with regularly) I started coming around to it a few years ago. Some of...
    scarecrow71 scarecrow71
    41-45, M
    1 Response Nov 20, 2014

    I don't update my status,

    because it asks" how do you feel?". I honestly can't answer that. I don't have feelings much anymore, and the ones I do have are usually dysfunctional. I disassociated so well, I can't find myself.
    5smc 5smc
    31-35, F
    Nov 30, 2015

    Death a Reason to Live

    Let me tell you this story about my childhood. I promise it won't be long. My father was the best one there was. He took us places, spent time with my sister and I, etc. My parents divorced though, when I was just a little one, no older than I'd say one yr. My mom...
    Neveah Neveah
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Sep 19, 2009

    The Tears I Cry For You

    . Broken to the core.... I stand here rooted to the ground This stabbing pain I try to fight.. Wounded Tears are hard to fight.. Bitter are the years of childhood .... Starved of love... Mother now you are dying... In all that pain.. You are carrying the root of resentment deep...
    rosesweet rosesweet
    56-60, F
    Jun 30, 2013

    Sometimes I feel like sending e-cards to my

    parents that say "I Hate You," but I have never brought myself to actually do it.
    TheGreanBean TheGreanBean
    41-45, F
    1 Response Jan 11, 2016

    Healing Is "one Day At A Time" For Me Right Now

    Well, where to begin. I'll start with a brief story but I'll expand upon it in the near future. Some things are tough to write but with time, I'm sure it will get easier. My brother and I were both abused emotionally, spiritually, physically and sexually abused as children. Our...
    sobersurvivor sobersurvivor
    41-45, F
    Jan 23, 2012

    Childhood experiences lay the groundwork

    for what will be our general attachment style throughout our lives, how we bond with another person, as well as how we respond emotionally when that person is separated from us. The following are the four basic attachment styles. Please keep in mind that these descriptions are...
    deleted deleted
    1 Response Mar 18, 2016

    Inspired By A Stupid Question

    There was question posted here on EP, I don't remember it word for word but it was enough to make my blood boil. The question was asking...."Your neighbor beats their child when they are drunk and they are a friend of yours, what do you do?" Seriously people do you really need to...
    SimplyGlorious SimplyGlorious
    41-45, F
    4 Responses Oct 15, 2012

    Surviving And Healing Are Not The Same Thing!

    I have read through the stories here and each and every one of them are heartbreaking! And of the women I count among my friends, 3/4 of them were abused in one form or another. It is a sad commentary on the state of the world we live in that SO MANY people, particularly young...
    WDianneS WDianneS
    61-65, F
    2 Responses Oct 25, 2012

    Confused Tonight

    So I think going to a psychologist has really started stirring up alot of old stuff. I find myself just thinking all day and going back and around and getting turned upside down. My thoughts are just bombarding me and it's like I can't get a break. I guess it's a healing...
    lwbob21 lwbob21
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Jun 6, 2013

    I was sexualy abused my my mother

    when i was a very young child, i would let just say very intence n special oral sex and yet i enjoyed her n being with her and remembering all of this to this day there is more but we will have to chat one to one if anyone exspecialy females r intrested
    howard1945 howard1945
    56-60, M
    Dec 12, 2014

    I am a survivor but some times its a struggle.

    I don't remember alot. I had a few particular flash backs that I chose to ignore till I was 16. I was 5 or so when a gang of boys aged 6-14 abused me, they got one of the younger boys to do most of it while they filmed. Toward the end my brother stumbled upon what was happening...
    Bombay88 Bombay88
    Jun 12, 2014

    Making Peace with Your Past: Choosing

    Forgiveness Are you haunted by something that happened in your past? Whether someone wronged you or you made a decision you regret, Dr. Phil says that forgiveness is what you do for yourself, not for other people. When you forgive, it doesn't mean that you approve of what's...
    deleted deleted
    Feb 2, 2016

    Years Of Pain Just Now Resurfacing

    I was abused as a child- mentally, physically, sexually and emotionally. Mostly mentally though. I'm sure you've heard the term "mind f---ed". Yea. That's probably the most tortuous thing of all. It's beyond being called stupid, good for nothing and whatever other labels were...
    Pinkpain74 Pinkpain74
    41-45, F
    1 Response Aug 5, 2013


    320000My first memory of my mother was when I was in my crib crying. She came toward me in rage and I was afraid. The next thing I remember is laying back down, crying but trying not to make a sound. I felt unloved, and physically hurt. I have no memory until my 5th birthday and...
    chickydoo chickydoo
    41-45, F
    Feb 28, 2013

    Between U And Me, I Am Terrified.........

    I'm just a regular person, really. I smile often, say hello when passing someone on the street (even if they say nothing, I'm OK). People view me as well rounded, bold, smart, confident and sassy. You wouldn't believe my definition of ME. I WROTE a book like 8 years ago. For 8...
    GigiMichelle GigiMichelle
    41-45, F
    1 Response Sep 12, 2012

    No One Believes Me

    i dont know how old i was.  remember i was small looking up at shelves i look down on now as an adult.   First easy bake oven is the only vivid thing i can remember at the time other than the horrid sexual experiences  was he mental or was i...
    docneely8 docneely8
    36-40, F
    3 Responses Oct 20, 2009

    PSA: I'm using some rough words here.

    It occurred to me for the first time some 9 years ago that I was abused. I analyzed this in retrospect and this shocked me. Why did it shock me? Maybe it was my own fault? As a child, you don't care about that kind of thing. You live your life, you try to make the best of it...
    ramblingjules ramblingjules
    Jan 27, 2016

    Tomorrow I start an intense 8 week program at a

    local hospital. The program is for adult women who survived childhood trauma and abuse. I was sexually abused when I was 6 - 9 years old by a babysitter/friend of my parents. As an adult, all the weird stuff I made myself believe as a child is keeping me depressed and i have two...
    netherose netherose
    46-50, F
    3 Responses Nov 23, 2014

    When Does The Healing Begin?

    First of all, I would like it to be known that I do not write these experiences in order to garner sympathy. I have never defined myself as a victim and neither do I wish anyone else to. If my story evokes feelings of sympathy or outrage, that is understandable, but I would...
    AmericanRefugee AmericanRefugee
    36-40, M
    3 Responses Nov 12, 2011

    my childhood is a nightmare,

    but I strive to make my kids childhood a dream.
    dragoneyes35 dragoneyes35
    41-45, F
    3 Responses Jan 7, 2016

    There are several things,

    ranging from one-time events (like childhood surgery) to continuing events (like daycare abuse, neglect, and bullying). I have had several major depressive episodes, including long bouts with depersonalization disorder. Yet I'm "high functioning" and work as a psychotherapist. I...
    deleted deleted
    1 Response Jun 16, 2015

    I feel like I am ruined

    and I wish I was dead every single day. Growing up I use to wish death on my abusers and they did die of natural causes when I was an adult and still didn't change anything I still felt sad and broken in the inside. I often think that death would be better than feeling this way...
    birdsofprey93 birdsofprey93
    36-40, F
    Apr 27, 2015

    It has been a while since I have posted here.

    I've restarted the videos on Survivors of Child Abuse and Maladaptive daydreaming. My latest video is about flashbacks and tips on how to manage them. These videos have been healing for me. I also hope maybe they can help someone else.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-AV93oKM898
    Ishtaria Ishtaria
    41-45, F
    2 Responses Aug 7, 2014

    the scars I have in me.

    .... my mother beat me ... i remember if I chewed wrong or coughed wrong she would hit me... I still flinch to this day if someone raise their hand to fast .. i was neglected... given drugs and beer ... because she thought it funny.. she wasn't a good mom.. when I became an adult...
    Sinzi Sinzi
    36-40, F
    Apr 28, 2015

    I Matter! It Was A Big Deal!

    The most traumatic time for me was when my step father was molesting me on the way to the hospital in the ambulance after I had just taken an overdose. I was a sophomore in high school. After years of tell my mother something was not right. After my mother getting in fights with...
    landa76 landa76
    41-45, F
    3 Responses Mar 7, 2013

    No Longer Can Stuff, Erase Or Numb The Abuse Endured As A Child.

    My mom traumatized & abused physically, emotionally and mentally as a child up until I moved out. Scary unpredictable rages & sadistic beatings that ended only after she was exhausted day or middle of night. Daily shameful humiliation, insults (slob,pig,ignorant...) used hands...
    Mylifenow50 Mylifenow50
    51-55, F
    2 Responses Aug 15, 2013

    My Marriage Is Being Affected By My Past Abuse

    When I was 11 my older brother started sneaking into my room at night and using my body to fulfill his sexual curiosities while he thought I was sleeping. When he would do this I can only explain the fact that I didn't move or jump or yell out because I was frozen in some sort of...
    amomynous amomynous
    31-35, F
    1 Response Aug 18, 2012

    Still Seeking Validation.

    As an adult looking back at my childhood I find myself questioning what it must have looked like to an outsider. Did no one see? How was that possible? Or maybe I am remembering it worse than it was? Perhaps I WAS an overly sensitive child? Anyone who has done therapy for...
    edinburghgirl06 edinburghgirl06
    26-30, F
    2 Responses Jul 11, 2012
    Zolaura Zolaura
    22-25, F
    Apr 28, 2015

    Me. I am me myself and I.

    I have made myself a wall. An unbreakable wall. A wall so high and so strong it can only be broken by guided hands. My wall protects me. It protects me from pain. Protects me from sorrow. And protects me from you. It hides my past. It hides my past from you and me. So no one can...
    deleted deleted
    1 Response Jan 31, 2016

    Today is the end of week 3 of 8 in the

    childhood abuse and trauma recovery program I'm in. The first week was difficult just learning the schedule, meeting all the facilitators, learning how relational group therapy works and getting to the point where I felt safe enough to share my experiences to a group of people...
    netherose netherose
    46-50, F
    1 Response Dec 11, 2014

    It Can Get Better!

    I was beaten with a shovel, a digging bar, a tow chain, and wrenches for bulldozers. I had fish hooks stuck in my hands, bones broken, concussions, and many other horrors happen to me as a kid because, quite frankly, my father is a douche. I haven't seen him in 7 years, and he's...
    DeadOfDecember DeadOfDecember
    22-25, F
    5 Responses Jul 20, 2011

    This will be long just a warning.

    I don't post much but this is my story. I'm Ellyaum I am 22yrs old. My story started while my mom was pregnant with me. My mom filed for a divorce when I was 3mnts old. And their divorce was finalized when I was 6mnts old. My mom filed for divorce because my dad was cheating...
    deleted deleted
    3 Responses Dec 20, 2015

    I am a survivor and will continue to be so.

    Robbed of my peace of mind and treated like crap, I lived through it. I can live through almost anything now. I would rather it had not taken this to make me strong. I remember wanting to die on several occasions just to escape the hell I was living in and my personal hell was...
    Thatredheadchick Thatredheadchick
    46-50, F
    1 Response Apr 7, 2014

    Anger is not something to be ashamed of.

    Anger is a natural response to injustice and can help break the cycle of abuse. Anger is a crucial part of recovery. Two weeks ago on 7/31/2015, I finally put the pieces together, saw the actions for what they were and realized my mother is not only a victim of a Narcissist...
    wowodeals wowodeals
    31-35, F
    Aug 15, 2015

    Forgivness Is Letting Go Of The Hope That The Past Can Be Changed

    I was molested and raped by my step father and his father.How long this went on im really not sure, i have repressed and tried so hard to forget. i do know it was very young somewhere btw 4-7 when it started and my step father didnt stop til i was 16. i stoped going over TO his...
    renee2787 renee2787
    22-25, F
    3 Responses Nov 6, 2010

    I feel like I'm slowly losing myself.

    Like I'm going down the same road I was 3 years ago trying to uncover pieces of my past. What do you do when your own body starts to crave what happened to you? What do you do when you lose control over it? I'm afraid I'll be shattered in a million crazy pieces again.
    deleted deleted
    2 Responses Jan 28, 2016

    Last week I finished 8 weeks of intensive group

    trauma therapy to deal with the after effects of sexual abuse when I was a child. It was an amazing program! I wanted to quit several times because it was extremely challenging and tiring emotionally...but I got through it and I'm still in one piece and in a better place. I...
    netherose netherose
    46-50, F
    5 Responses Feb 4, 2015
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