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I Am An Alcoholic

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,706 People

    I cant stop thinking about her.

    Shes all thats on my mind but I wont tell her because I'm sure it doesn't matter. It makes me feel like such a ******* ***** I swear. I do perfectly fine until she talks to me, then the rest of my day goes to **** knowing that shes not mine anymore. I tell myself its only...
    ChefJerfey ChefJerfey 18-21, M Jan 5

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    When You Know You Can't Go Back Home

    I turned 15 years old the month before the Thanksgiving Day of that year and had been living on the streets since the previous April when my father, drunk, drove a knife into my leg and tossed me out of the house where I lived with him, my mother and nine brothers and sisters. I...
    cmmacneil cmmacneil 41-45, M 7 Responses Feb 3, 2013

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    Trouble Ahead

    I take antabuse to stop me from drinking. It's worked for me for the last 17 months, it was my last resort and it worked. Snag is now my blood test has come back wonky, I have to have the test repeated on Monday in the hopes it's just a blip, if it's not I have to stop taking the...
    Illiteratetroll Illiteratetroll 46-50 15 Responses Oct 26, 2013

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    I find myself drinking during the day

    before noon. I'm scared to tell anyone.
    xx1KC1xx xx1KC1xx 22-25, F 5 Responses Feb 11

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    Self Medicating?

    It all started with blackberry brandy. I had barely learned to speak, but I had already learned that a lot of fussing and crying would result in a shot or two of black berry brandy. My grandmother had custody of me at the time, and black berry brandy was the cure for everything...
    puck61 puck61 51-55, M 16 Responses Jun 11, 2013

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    I 'am ,indeed an alcoholic.

    Started out as no big deal ,next thing i know things have gotten ,"out of control".I function ,don't drink in the morning or early afternoon,but i drink every day.My family has spoken to me,they accept me .I know i have to stop soon,and i think i may need to go to detox,Honestly...
    1prettygirl 1prettygirl 36-40, F 44 Responses Feb 25

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    How Did It Get To This Point?

    Back when i was 16 or so getting a 12 pack and splitting it with a friend was great, but as the years passed the drinking got heavier i got dumber and the consequinces became greater.... Its hard to set here and reflect back on my many years of drunken mistakes, but maybe just...
    sizzahands86 sizzahands86 26-30, M 10 Responses Apr 29, 2013

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    I realized I was an alcoholic my sophomore year

    of college. I never went a day without drinking. I drank throughout the day and at night. I was partying, but only went for the alcohol. I started drinking young, but it was never a problem. Not until... anyways, after that I started drinking every day. I drank at school. I...
    Elysion Elysion 22-25, F 3 Responses Jun 26, 2014

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    I found out about A.A.

    as the result of the court system, a big "no no" in the fellowship and it wasn't about some traffic offense. I ended up in rehab and as a result of the group therapy I started to experience a total cessation of emotion and almost all thought with no identification of "me" at all...
    StarWanderer StarWanderer 56-60, M 1 Response May 4, 2014

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    I'm Questioning My Decision To Stop Drinking

    I haven't had a drink for over three months, I take antabuse to keep me from drinking but I'm seriously questioning my decision to stop. It feels like my brain no longer functions as it should, everything is confused, simple decisions are too hard to make and the depression is...
    Illiteratetroll Illiteratetroll 46-50 12 Responses Oct 2, 2012

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    4 months 1 week 3 days,

    gosh times going slower then ever!
    sbenveniste sbenveniste 31-35, M 4 Responses Nov 16, 2014

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    Technically, I guess I'm a heavy drinker.

    I don't drink during the week; in fact, my body will no longer tolerate alcohol and my intense workouts. But on the weekends I cut loose, drink almost suicidal amounts and engage in (at best) age-inappropriate, at worst down-right boorish behaviour. I think the root problem is...
    Woody6 Woody6 41-45, M Jan 13

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    i want to stop drinking soooooo bad.

    im so tired of doing this. i want to be stronger and learn how to cope better. i dont want my child to grow up like this. i dont want my family to see me like this. i dont like AA but i really need support...a female mentor. someone i can call on when i feel weak...someone who...
    TommiStarr TommiStarr 26-30, F 2 Responses Feb 16

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    I didn't start drinking

    when I was young but have been drinking ever since I turned 21. I'm attempting to stop again. This time I've stopped taking meds too. Being sober is so depressing. I finally can't run away from my loneliness my depression my anger my guilt my frustration. Instead of drinking...
    socialfail socialfail 31-35, M 5 Responses Jan 17

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    My Journey To Sobriety

    I turned to alcohol after a sudden, unwanted divorce. I used it to kill the pain, and then to loosen up and have fun. Later I used it for other reasons. Seems I could always find a reason to drink. That's what we alcoholics do, we make excuses to drink. I was drinking heavily...
    Siberia1000 Siberia1000 46-50, F 1 Response Jul 17, 2013

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    464 Days

    Sobriety, its getting a little boring now. I look around at others who enjoy a drink now and then, and think they are lucky. They can have their cake and eat it too. All I can do is remind myself of the pain my drinking caused. The havoc it reeked on my life. So I close my...
    BrownEyedGirl09 BrownEyedGirl09 26-30, F 1 Response Apr 23, 2013

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    I have decided. I want to fit my drinking

    around my life. Up til now, I've been fitting my life around my drinking.
    Gladez Gladez 36-40, F 4 Responses Feb 8

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    I haven't been back on this site

    for some time now. For those of you who read my stories I'll provide a little update. I've been in treatment and attending aa meetings since April this year. I was sober for 4 months and then started drinking in secrecy for 2 months. I'm sober again now after being fired from...
    brokenandtwisted brokenandtwisted 22-25, F 2 Responses Dec 16, 2014

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    It's been 8 weeks and one day.

    I've never been sober this long. My BF asked me when was the last time I was sober this long. I was like maybe high school? That's sick... I remember a didn't drink for a month it just once a week or twice. I rarely ever went a month. The fog has completely disappeared...
    mysticdragonlady mysticdragonlady 36-40, F 6 Responses Jun 19, 2014

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    7:50 PM Drank. 9:30 PM Drunk.

    You know you are an alcoholic when: Under the influence of alcohol you ride your motorcycle through the dead of night.....to the tiny town of Morrison. And steal their only road sign. And wake up the next morning to discover it has been nailed to your bedroom wall....next to a...
    Vetrov Vetrov 51-55, M 8 Responses Nov 30, 2013

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    My Story (Warning this a very long post – not

    for the faint of heart) I have decided to put my AA story on this site; sharing my experience, strength and hope, so that I may help others who are still sick and suffering from the ravages of alcoholism. What it was like, what happened and what it is like today. I grew up in a...
    ProgressNotPerfection ProgressNotPerfection 41-45, M 5 Responses Dec 18, 2013

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    Am an alcohol and wish I wasn't,

    but don't seem to be able to drop the bottle
    izaakmilton izaakmilton 31-35, M 1 Response Dec 9, 2014

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    Why do I do this to myself?

    It's been about 54 hours since I've had my last drink. The withdrawal symptoms are beginning to fade and, of course, I'm feeling lonely and miserable. Even though my withdrawals have been among the worst experiences of my life it's still hard not to head right out and get drunk...
    Mokiba Mokiba 31-35, M Feb 25

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    Still Battling It....

    I'm an alcoholic. That's a fact. I'd like to say a 'reformed' alcoholic, but are we ever ? I don't think so. I think once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic, even if you don't drink anymore. That's just a part of what we are, a shadow that'll follow us forever. I've been...
    cleozabu19 cleozabu19 26-30, F 83 Responses Apr 7, 2008

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    I am not an alcoholic

    but I married a man who became one, we are no longer together but I am reading your stories to better understand what he is experiencing in hopes i will be more empathetic.
    Guavajelly Guavajelly 36-40, F Feb 25

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    I had the desire to drink

    for about 4 hours now. I kept thinking about all the negative consequences. But something kept telling me to give in. Then I thought about the night I tried to pull through with suicide. I looked down at the scar on my chest and realized it's not worth going back to that dark...
    cawnbread cawnbread 18-21, F 2 Responses a week ago

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    The Legal Age For Drinking Is 18 Where I Live.

    I could sit here and write about 'oh what a terrible childhood I had' and I would be telling the truth, but no I am going to say... - I started drinking when I was 12 to escape my head (wasn't really that hard to get access to grog given that I had an older brother and...
    randomdriftwood randomdriftwood 18-21, F 22 Responses Apr 11, 2007

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    I am 16 years old and in my 16 years of life I

    have gone through what a 40 year old could have dealt with. It all started when I was 3. My dad and mom split up and I did not understand. A new man took his place who is now my stepdad. Than at 4 years old I was in a severe car accident.. no one died thank God. At 6 years old...
    nicoletteaurora nicoletteaurora 13-15, F 1 Response Mar 16

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    One Step At A Time

    I know what its like to break the denial and admit your are an alcoholic after suffering this horrible disease for many years.  I suggest  you remind your self that you are not a bad  person trying to be good, you are a sick person trying to get well. Also remember if you dont...
    LUKEIT LUKEIT 41-45, M 6 Responses May 19, 2012

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    I like to think that I am drinking by choice

    but find myself drinking extremely regularly. Not getting drunk just drinking as often as I can. 2 shots for breakfast and as soon again as I can. 1/2 gallon lucky if it lasts me 3 days
    johnbed johnbed 41-45, M 2 Responses 4 days ago

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    Perimenopause; hot flashes,

    palpitations, etc, and a gallbladder operation that is causing me to have anxiety about eating and using the bathroom has caused me to drink. Just six months ago I was pretty much sober, with the exception of the occasional glass of wine, and then my life came crashing down...
    perijenn perijenn 46-50, F 2 Responses Dec 14, 2014

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    I've never been diagnosed

    but I believe that I am an alcoholic. When I drink, my problems seem less severe. My social drinking is the equivalent of drinking at least twice a week. I don't drink to get plastered or be belligerent, but I drink to forget. Drinking seems to replace this emptiness within me...
    CharmedAmour CharmedAmour 22-25, F 2 Responses Dec 27, 2014

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    I am down to 6 units of alcohol per day,

    the depression doesn't go away, I sweat, get nervous and angry if I don't drink after 6 pm.
    Klaussss Klaussss 18-21, M 1 Response Feb 22

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    I'm 18. I never go more

    than 2 days with drinking. My daily routine includes waking up and going to high school, on the way I take a couple shots and smoke a couple cigarettes. While I'm at school in between periods I go to the bathroom and snort vyvanse or Ritalin, when I get out of school I drink...
    thya13 thya13 18-21, M 1 Response Mar 13

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    Connections

    I need to know something and I am wondering if anyone who reads this could help me. Even before you became an alcoholic, were you a messy or unorganized person? Or both? Thank you in advance :)
    thegodchick thegodchick 36-40, F 15 Responses Oct 22, 2013

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    If you sit in a room full of people telling you

    that you're "sick" "insane" and suffering from a "disease" reading a book written by a religious nut, eventually you'll start believing it. That doesn't make it true. Think about it. Is sitting in a room full of people obsessed with their drinking behaviour healthy? I think...
    SwampyStables SwampyStables 46-50, M 9 Responses Oct 3, 2014

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    My son and I went to a little country pub on

    Friday. A friend was performing there and we had promised to support the act.I think the first thing I noticed was the lack of smell, since smoking has been banned. (Something I fully agree with, even as a smoker). My years in bars were marked by an inability to see across the...
    MelbourneSteve MelbourneSteve 56-60, M 1 Response Nov 29, 2014

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    It's not to the point of making me lose my job

    or anything like that, but I feel like I gotta have at least two shots of whisky a day. I seldom get slammed drunk. I don't really feel like it is a problem, but I've always heard that most alcoholics are in denial.
    cbcs cbcs 31-35, M 2 Responses Jan 12

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    I'm thinking more and more

    that binge drinking, well much drinking is self abuse and self harm. this may be no great revelation but it is just resonating so much with me. maybe a cycle for me as I have had abuse and neglect a lot in my life.
    mysmugcat mysmugcat 41-45, F 5 Responses Mar 15

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    Ever Heard the Exspression "Drunk As Cooter Brown"? Well I'm His Great-grandson.

        My alcoholism is not the product of an alcoholic home as a child, or a single tragic event or anything; I just ended up one.  How do I  know I'm an alcoholic? Why years of exstensive research "tieing one on" ofcourse.    ...
    LIttleRockLeo LIttleRockLeo 26-30, M 12 Responses Jul 3, 2007

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    All I do is drink, I only find happiness at the

    bottom of a bottle. Here I am at almost 2 A.M still drinking, alone of course, yet i have work in less that 6 hours, I'm so lost, so lonely, so hurt and so confused.
    AlcoholAndAnxiety AlcoholAndAnxiety 18-21, M 3 Responses Jan 2

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    Does Anxiety Cause Alcoholism?

    Very common phrases you hear from Alcoholics are: "I can't get comfortable inside my own skin." "I just have a few drinks to relax." "After a couple of drinks, I feel more like myself." "I enjoy myself around people more with a few drinks." The common theme here is that their...
    Michaeloff55 Michaeloff55 61-65, M 4 Responses Jan 8, 2011

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    Revelation

    It just hit me like a ton of bricks. I figured out why I hate AA so much. I don't want to belong to a club, that would have me for a member.
    Lilt Lilt 46-50 26 Responses Jun 4, 2013

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    I Will Never Drink Again!!

    Now that I have been diagnosed with Stage 3 Inflammatory Breast Cancer, the very thought of picking up a drink is repulsive. Why would I pick up poison?  What did I see in it in the first place?  Oh sure, it gave me temporary relief from my constant barrage of negative...
    lagatta lagatta 41-45, F 64 Responses Jan 3, 2013

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    I just signed in for a rehab in England,

    to start in 3 weeks. I will be there for a minimum of 12 to 18 months. It's completely free as it is a christian sponsored one. This is good as normal rehabs are so expensive I could hardly afford a week. Now I am just waiting and killing time before I return to the UK and check...
    Searching1n Searching1n 22-25, M 26 Responses Jan 6, 2014

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    So, I've been drinking almost every evening

    for 7 months. I've drank 7 to 11 units every time I drank. How bad would be withdrawal and how long will it last.
    Klaussss Klaussss 18-21, M 1 Response Feb 24

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    It was difficult for me to join this group.

    Sure it seems easy, just hit "join group" and you're in, right? The problem is, by joining this group not only am I acknowledging I have a drinking problem, but I am also acknowledging what I've spent five years denying: that I am indeed an alcoholic. The prideful part of me is...