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I Am An Alcoholic

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,797 People

    When I drink regularly,

    I often find myself sweating uncontrollably. Usually at the most awkward times ... like when I'm trying to play it cool around some sweet young thing. Happen to anyone else?
    Woody6 Woody6 41-45, M 1 Response 1 day ago

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    It was difficult for me to join this group.

    Sure it seems easy, just hit "join group" and you're in, right? The problem is, by joining this group not only am I acknowledging I have a drinking problem, but I am also acknowledging what I've spent five years denying: that I am indeed an alcoholic. The prideful part of me is...
    ConfessionsOfALostGurl ConfessionsOfALostGurl 22-25, F 5 Responses Jan 1

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    I am 18+ months sober,

    and last night I went to my first meeting. Words can not describe the relief I feel this morning. I was welcomed with open arms. Listened to the speaker who made me cry, laugh & smile. Everything anyone said I UNDERSTOOD or felt in some way. I was surrounded by people JUST LIKE...
    SoberJessica SoberJessica 31-35, F 5 Responses Aug 2, 2014

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    does anyone know where AA meetings are in

    or around Goshen Indiana? I really want to start getting better...
    BrittanyOfficial BrittanyOfficial 18-21, F 2 Responses Aug 9

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    The Legal Age For Drinking Is 18 Where I Live.

    I could sit here and write about 'oh what a terrible childhood I had' and I would be telling the truth, but no I am going to say... - I started drinking when I was 12 to escape my head (wasn't really that hard to get access to grog given that I had an older brother and...
    randomdriftwood randomdriftwood 18-21, F 23 Responses Apr 11, 2007

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    TOKid23 TOKid23 18-21, M Jul 24

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    My Story (Warning this a very long post – not

    for the faint of heart) I have decided to put my AA story on this site; sharing my experience, strength and hope, so that I may help others who are still sick and suffering from the ravages of alcoholism. What it was like, what happened and what it is like today. I grew up in a...
    ProgressNotPerfection ProgressNotPerfection 41-45, M 5 Responses Dec 18, 2013

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    I realized I was an alcoholic my sophomore year

    of college. I never went a day without drinking. I drank throughout the day and at night. I was partying, but only went for the alcohol. I started drinking young, but it was never a problem. Not until... anyways, after that I started drinking every day. I drank at school. I...
    Elysion Elysion 22-25, F 3 Responses Jun 26, 2014

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    464 Days

    Sobriety, its getting a little boring now. I look around at others who enjoy a drink now and then, and think they are lucky. They can have their cake and eat it too. All I can do is remind myself of the pain my drinking caused. The havoc it reeked on my life. So I close my...
    BrownEyedGirl09 BrownEyedGirl09 26-30, F 1 Response Apr 23, 2013

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    My Journey To Sobriety

    I turned to alcohol after a sudden, unwanted divorce. I used it to kill the pain, and then to loosen up and have fun. Later I used it for other reasons. Seems I could always find a reason to drink. That's what we alcoholics do, we make excuses to drink. I was drinking heavily...
    Siberia1000 Siberia1000 46-50, F Jul 17, 2013

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    Revelation

    It just hit me like a ton of bricks. I figured out why I hate AA so much. I don't want to belong to a club, that would have me for a member.
    Lilt Lilt 46-50 26 Responses Jun 4, 2013

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    I'm thinking more and more

    that binge drinking, well much drinking is self abuse and self harm. this may be no great revelation but it is just resonating so much with me. maybe a cycle for me as I have had abuse and neglect a lot in my life.
    mysmugcat mysmugcat 41-45, F 7 Responses Mar 15

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    nixf1 nixf1 22-25, F 5 Responses Jun 24

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    Stomach felt sick til about 3 p.

    m. from drinking last night so I didn't eat til then. It's 1 a. m. and my abusive ex is on my mind. I have vodka left. Don't want to get sick again but I'll be up crying around 3 a. m. if I don't drink.
    BlackSheep613 BlackSheep613 22-25, F 4 Responses Jul 12

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    when you begin to sober up from

    yet another day you drank too much and keep having those days where you know you outta fix it but you never quite do..... That's my night. Thinking about how many beers I had earlier and how at 25, I really must've drowned my brain with my drinking habits by now..
    GrrrrFace GrrrrFace 26-30, F 2 Responses Jun 24

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    i'm a liar and drinking

    currently, i am a liar. i have two best friends who i live for, who i've never lied to, until recently. i lie to them and others, and tell them that i've gone 'straight-edge' and i haven't gotten drunk while i'm out in several months now. but it's only because i've...
    MyRedYourWall MyRedYourWall 18-21, M 43 Responses Sep 19, 2007

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    I Will Never Drink Again!!

    Now that I have been diagnosed with Stage 3 Inflammatory Breast Cancer, the very thought of picking up a drink is repulsive. Why would I pick up poison?  What did I see in it in the first place?  Oh sure, it gave me temporary relief from my constant barrage of negative...
    lagatta lagatta 41-45, F 64 Responses Jan 3, 2013

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    I am missing you my love.

    My best friend. You who made me laugh so loudly. You who brought warmth and calm despite cold hateful surroundings. You told me that together we could conquer the world. I could trust you to always be there. To always deliver. To bring sleep. Deep sleep. I've kissed you a time...
    S0BERdaze S0BERdaze 36-40, F 1 Response Jul 9

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    haven't wanted to admit I am an alcoholic.

    "I don't drink everyday. I may go a week or two without drinking alcohol at all." I would tell myself. I don't want to be an alcoholic. I'm afraid. I isolate. It's difficult for me to trust people, due largely to a troublesome past. A few months ago, I wanted a drink...
    Kindalost Kindalost 46-50, F 4 Responses Aug 20

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    I have given myself permission to slip

    for the next week. I am nervous, and already anxious to get back to my nondrinking routine. But God do I love the drink. Hunter S. Thompson once asked a Hells Angel to define love. The biker replied, "I guess when you love something as much as you love your motorcycle, yeah...
    Woody6 Woody6 41-45, M 5 days ago

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    If you sit in a room full of people telling you

    that you're "sick" "insane" and suffering from a "disease" reading a book written by a religious nut, eventually you'll start believing it. That doesn't make it true. Think about it. Is sitting in a room full of people obsessed with their drinking behaviour healthy? I think...
    SwampyStables SwampyStables 46-50, M 8 Responses Oct 3, 2014

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    you have/had a mental illness

    and drank or do? how do you cope?
    mysmugcat mysmugcat 41-45, F 15 Responses Jun 28

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    I drank for happiness

    and became unhappy. I drank for joy and became miserable. I drank for sociability and became argumentative. I drank for sophistication and became obnoxious. I drank for friendship and made enemies. I drank for sleep and woke up tired. I drank for relaxation and got the shakes. I...
    MarijuanaAbuser MarijuanaAbuser 16-17, M 12 Responses Aug 21

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    I just signed in for a rehab in England,

    to start in 3 weeks. I will be there for a minimum of 12 to 18 months. It's completely free as it is a christian sponsored one. This is good as normal rehabs are so expensive I could hardly afford a week. Now I am just waiting and killing time before I return to the UK and check...
    Searching1n Searching1n 22-25, M 26 Responses Jan 6, 2014

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    It's now been two weeks

    since my last drink and about a month since I was drunk. I'm hoping to go another month without getting wasted.
    fishandchips321 fishandchips321 26-30, M 4 Responses Jul 24

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    I had been drinking for several years.

    Last year it became more severe. And I quit 6 months ago. It was very hard to quit. 2 weeks of hell but then it all passed. 24 hours of no drinks felt like forever. I remember those days and they are scary
    molde molde 36-40, M 1 Response 7 hrs ago

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    Wanting Drink

    I used to drink about a bottle of average wine per night.I decided I didn't like that and was suicidal/tendencies. At one point I was drinking a can of 4% lager a night-I'm a lady,but I had to have that lager.Sometimes a bit more.And more at weekends. I prayed,something clicked I...
    mysmugcat mysmugcat 41-45, F 8 Responses May 14, 2013

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    Sorry to say, but I always find myself watching

    Intervention while drinking my 8th or 9th beer, and thinking how stupid I am. So sad.......
    Jade9105 Jade9105 36-40, F 7 Responses Jul 8

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    I've been sober and more

    or less teetotal since May 30. Well, teetotal is a bit overselling it, maybe. In that time I've had three bottles of beer, three glasses of wine, and two vodka (grey goose) and cranberry sodas. But that all is over three non-consecutive weekend evenings, drinking socially rather...
    Woody6 Woody6 41-45, M 2 Responses Jul 12

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    I've been thinking about whether

    or not I have a drinking problem for some time now. I don't fit the after school special version of an alcoholic. My closest friends and family would have no idea I have a problem with alcohol. I tend to drink alone. I live alone so it's easy. I decided to stop drinking a week...
    tbsphotogirl tbsphotogirl 31-35, F 3 Responses Aug 19

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    I hate that a lot of the Uk socialising is

    around pubs. yes they can be fun but you know. coffee shops should be open later and different healthy things and more clubs and things on later, not shut early .
    mysmugcat mysmugcat 41-45, F 7 Responses May 30

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    Alcholics don't drink

    because they are fine... They drink because they hurt... Trying to numb some unconscious pain that's not dealt with... Mine stems in childhood... I am very self aware, don't get me wrong. I know why I drink. I'm not oblivious to my pain. I just don't know how else to deal with...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Jul 4

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    I don't know if I'm an alcoholic

    or not ... but I love to drink my wine in the evening and I can't have a night without the drink. I do want to drink the wine, not sure if I am already alcoholic or will become one ... I'm scared I could never have a glass of wine again, feel the buzz .....
    itsmemm itsmemm 26-30, F 2 Responses 5 days ago

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    Still Battling It....

    I'm an alcoholic. That's a fact. I'd like to say a 'reformed' alcoholic, but are we ever ? I don't think so. I think once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic, even if you don't drink anymore. That's just a part of what we are, a shadow that'll follow us forever. I've been...
    cleozabu19 cleozabu19 26-30, F 83 Responses Apr 7, 2008

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    Does Anxiety Cause Alcoholism?

    Very common phrases you hear from Alcoholics are: "I can't get comfortable inside my own skin." "I just have a few drinks to relax." "After a couple of drinks, I feel more like myself." "I enjoy myself around people more with a few drinks." The common theme here is that their...
    Michaeloff55 Michaeloff55 61-65, M 4 Responses Jan 8, 2011

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    Is anyone being treated with naltrexone

    for alcoholism? I have been ordering Naltima brand Naltrexone from a pharmacy out of the country and had really amazing results. I decided to try Nodict brand to save a few dollars and it was a huge mistake. It doesn't work at all. I was down to about 4 drinks per week and...
    ReAwakenedGirl ReAwakenedGirl 26-30, F 2 Responses Jul 1

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    Alcohol is almost impossible to get free of

    when you are hooked , jeez! 'Twas soo hard to resist some today but I managed . Still going strong
    theusunghero3 theusunghero3 26-30, M 2 Responses Aug 15

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    Self Medicating?

    It all started with blackberry brandy. I had barely learned to speak, but I had already learned that a lot of fussing and crying would result in a shot or two of black berry brandy. My grandmother had custody of me at the time, and black berry brandy was the cure for everything...
    puck61 puck61 51-55, M 16 Responses Jun 11, 2013

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    I found out about A.A.

    as the result of the court system, a big "no no" in the fellowship and it wasn't about some traffic offense. I ended up in rehab and as a result of the group therapy I started to experience a total cessation of emotion and almost all thought with no identification of "me" at all...
    StarWanderer StarWanderer 56-60, M 1 Response May 4, 2014

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    How Did It Get To This Point?

    Back when i was 16 or so getting a 12 pack and splitting it with a friend was great, but as the years passed the drinking got heavier i got dumber and the consequinces became greater.... Its hard to set here and reflect back on my many years of drunken mistakes, but maybe just...
    sizzahands86 sizzahands86 26-30, M 10 Responses Apr 29, 2013

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    The Demons Within

    I love you so much, the way you make me feel. Sometimes you help me figure out whats real. My friends for life, what a circle. Jack, Jim, Evan, and bud. You guys have always been there for me when times are tough. Hell your there for me when times were great what more could i ask...
    Slashrattlenroll Slashrattlenroll 41-45, M 5 Responses Feb 15, 2013

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    I just got 4 months without a drink,

    but I know it takes 5 years to get your head back, sucks that I gota wait 5 years to find out if I even have a head :-) very greatful for my sobriety tho :-)
    sbenveniste sbenveniste 31-35, M 4 Responses Nov 8, 2014

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    I can't just have one drink.

    Or even two. When I drink, I drink until I'm drunk. About 15 shots is my tolerance at this point. And it's every night. I can't stop. It's getting out of control. I do it mostly when I'm alone. Only because I just am alone a lot. I need to stop. I don't want a drinkers body, a...
    Scal92 Scal92 22-25, F 7 Responses Aug 23

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    I started attending AA meetings about 3 months

    ago after a month long binge following the loss of a friend to heroin. The news was quite a shock. I admired this woman. She took life by the ******* balls. So confident, so outgoing. There wasn't anything she wouldn't or couldn't do. I remember thinking a time or two that If I...
    S0BERdaze S0BERdaze 36-40, F 5 Responses Jul 6

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    i started drinking again a few weeks ago to

    basically get it over with. i was tired of not being the one who could drink. Then it made everyone uncomfortable to the point i just stayed home and have become a hermit. i medicate with green very happily so i am not looking for any better high so two glasses of wine did me...
    LITVET LITVET 41-45, F 1 Response Aug 20

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    I am here to use EP as an online journal.

    I want to document my early days of sobriety in order to see my progress and remember the hardships. I wish I had started sooner. What everyone says in AA is how much better your life will become. How much you'll grow as a person. "Expect miracles!" What they don't tell you is...
    S0BERdaze S0BERdaze 36-40, F 4 Responses Jul 7