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I Am An Alcoholic

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,480 People

    I stopped drinking 21 days ago.

    I'm. Dealing with the isolation by going to the gym, playing the guitar and cooking. I probably need to go back to AA for the community and support. Has any one tried Alan Carr's book?
    Hereinalbany Hereinalbany 56-60, M 2 Responses Mar 30

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    I Will Never Drink Again!!

    Now that I have been diagnosed with Stage 3 Inflammatory Breast Cancer, the very thought of picking up a drink is repulsive. Why would I pick up poison?  What did I see in it in the first place?  Oh sure, it gave me temporary relief from my constant barrage of negative...
    lagatta lagatta 41-45, F 60 Responses Jan 3, 2013

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    One Step At A Time

    I know what its like to break the denial and admit your are an alcoholic after suffering this horrible disease for many years.  I suggest  you remind your self that you are not a bad  person trying to be good, you are a sick person trying to get well. Also remember if you dont...
    LUKEIT LUKEIT 41-45, M 5 Responses May 19, 2012

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    Woody6 Woody6 41-45, M 2 Responses Mar 20

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    learner80 learner80 31-35, F 2 Responses Feb 27

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    Alcoholism Through The Years

    I grew up drinking beers and with my family since about 10. I did not start drinking around -the -clock 1/2 gallons of liquor until I was about 18. As im typing this right now, I sweat and can't even think clear. I've been to 2 rehabs and must have tried detox atleast 20 times. I...
    deleted deleted 26-30 16 Responses Jun 5, 2011

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    I'm having intense withdrawals.

    I feel like throwing up, I feel drunk and haven't had a drink today. My hands started shaking like crazy in class today I really hope No one noticed. I feel hopeless, I've been to therapy, sober support groups, talked to family about it . I'm truly feeling miserable. I'm not...
    angelicahcah angelicahcah 18-21, F 9 Responses Apr 14

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    All my friends are out drinking,

    and I am stuck alone in my bedroom crying. This is the worst part of sobering up, missing out on all the good times with your friends...
    Amidala97 Amidala97 16-17, F 4 Responses a week ago

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    I’m Still sober… and the world Still

    spins In my last story I told how I received a call about another contract job the night before being fired by my present boss as he reeked of alcohol. That job didn’t come through….I kept it to myself, until now. I have been off work a week. I am proud of myself for...
    gsparky22 gsparky22 41-45, M 4 Responses Feb 27

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    I'll Probably Delete This Tomorrow. So Message Me Soon If You Want To Help.

    I'm 24. Been drinking heavy almost every night since I was 18. I'm in a bad place mentally. Talk to me if you have advice or experience. Thanks in advance. edit update 12/9/2012 : Major breakthrough people. I've taken a week off completely. I've been doing 5-7 day stretches of...
    Trillmatic Trillmatic 22-25, M 17 Responses Oct 20, 2012

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    Ever Heard the Exspression "Drunk As Cooter Brown"? Well I'm His Great-grandson.

        My alcoholism is not the product of an alcoholic home as a child, or a single tragic event or anything; I just ended up one.  How do I  know I'm an alcoholic? Why years of exstensive research "tieing one on" ofcourse.    ...
    LIttleRockLeo LIttleRockLeo 26-30, M 12 Responses Jul 3, 2007

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    7:50 PM Drank. 9:30 PM Drunk.

    You know you are an alcoholic when: Under the influence of alcohol you ride your motorcycle through the dead of night.....to the tiny town of Morrison. And steal their only road sign. And wake up the next morning to discover it has been nailed to your bedroom wall....next to a...
    Vetrov Vetrov 51-55, M 6 Responses Nov 30, 2013

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    All I ever want to do is drink.

    I'm shy unless I'm drunk. I'm depressed unless I'm drunk. I've gotten kicked out of high school, had many legal problems, and family problems. All of which are alcohol related.
    guitarmike guitarmike 22-25, M 8 Responses Dec 23, 2013

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    And a nursing student.

    I am in the middle of a clinical in a mental health facility where they treat mental illness as well as addictive disorders. While sitting in on a group I had not expected their stories to mirror mine. I can't believe I thought I was ever in control. This forced me to make a...
    EduardoDinero EduardoDinero 36-40, F 2 Responses Mar 25

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    Does Anxiety Cause Alcoholism?

    Very common phrases you hear from Alcoholics are: "I can't get comfortable inside my own skin." "I just have a few drinks to relax." "After a couple of drinks, I feel more like myself." "I enjoy myself around people more with a few drinks." The common theme here is that their...
    Michaeloff55 Michaeloff55 61-65, M 4 Responses Jan 8, 2011

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    2 1/2 Years So Far

    That's how long I've been sober. Haven't been to an AA meeting for about 16 months - it's not for me. Just wanted to post and say hello to others with the same problem as me. I'm certainly no expert, but I have learned a little on the way and am around to give and receive support...
    Cloop Cloop 41-45, M 18 Responses Aug 13, 2010

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    I want to start a support network on EP

    for atheists in recovery or who want to quit drinking or other drugs of choice.
    SwampyStables SwampyStables 46-50, M 2 Responses Mar 21

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    At a party for the first time

    since I got sober. I am only 17 days sober, and I think I might brake.
    Amidala97 Amidala97 16-17, F 2 Responses Apr 15

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    I drink do that I can forget about all the

    stress in my life so I just forget about it all I drink maybe daily sometimes I can't handle the stress so I use alcohol as a crutch I see it as a way out if the harder things I can't take school practice all this stress it's so much to be weighed upon my shoulders going to...
    lilylove123 lilylove123 16-17, F 1 Response Mar 9

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    There are large blue Morpho butterflies

    everywhere in Costa Rica. The topside of their wings shimmer an iridescent blue (hence the name) when they fly. Very pretty. The funny thing (it actual looked comical) is that they flew erratically, rising slowly and then dropping precipitously, stabilizing briefly only to rise...
    Woody6 Woody6 41-45, M 1 Response Mar 25

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    Let's make this as short

    as possible.. I started drinking in High School, every other weekend, you know. Then I went off to college where I begin staying in the dorms. Of course drinking was a huge part of the dorm life, so I was drinking every night. I then moved back to my parents house. That's when...
    TopherWhite22 TopherWhite22 22-25, M 10 Responses Dec 21, 2013

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    I tried to join AA, but I was

    so drunk I dialed AAA instead. So now whenever I crash my car on the way home from the bar I get great roadside assistance. But that's really only treating the symptoms ...
    Woody6 Woody6 41-45, M 4 Responses Mar 15

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    I Am a Practicing Alcoholic

    Well, not tonight anyways.  Hopefully not tomorrow night either.  I can't sleep tonight, one of the dreadful side affects of sobriety.  One of my justifications for drinking.  I have decided to find an A.A. meeting this week.  I haven't been to one in 19...
    dngrscrvs dngrscrvs 31-35, F 4 Responses Sep 8, 2009

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    I Am Ashamed

    I have tried hard to deny it, but I can't. I have a disease. It's called alcoholism. It has before and is destroying my life. I am married, but don't know for how long; either by choice or not. I am a father of two and I love my kids. And I am an alcoholic. I am grateful...
    PrayersforRain PrayersforRain 36-40, M 3 Responses Oct 11, 2013

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    I had a major psychotic breakdown last night

    while I was drinking. You know, the ones when you call the suicide hotline. I'm not sure what compels me to drink so frequently. I can physically/mentally feel the depression in my body. Yet, I am still compelled to drink very heavily on a daily basis. 1/2 to 3/4 of a fifth of...
    ManfredKilljoy ManfredKilljoy 31-35, M 5 Responses Apr 4

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    My drinking had reached an all time high.

    Drinking puts everything I have at risk but I still continue to drown my sorrows away. I hate myself a hell of a lot and the only way I can look my self in the mirror is if I'm to drunk to recognize the face staring back at me. I drink everyday, even on break at work. I'm even...
    JuniorsEyes JuniorsEyes 22-25, M 1 Response Mar 9

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    My Journey To Sobriety

    I turned to alcohol after a sudden, unwanted divorce. I used it to kill the pain, and then to loosen up and have fun. Later I used it for other reasons. Seems I could always find a reason to drink. That's what we alcoholics do, we make excuses to drink. I was drinking heavily...
    Siberia1000 Siberia1000 46-50, F 1 Response Jul 17, 2013

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    Revelation

    It just hit me like a ton of bricks. I figured out why I hate AA so much. I don't want to belong to a club, that would have me for a member.
    Lilt Lilt 46-50 27 Responses Jun 4, 2013

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    I am an alcoholic. I have been drinking

    and called into work for 3 days. I've already been written up for it, I have such overwhelming guilt right now!!!! Help!!
    missy8080 missy8080 31-35, F 6 Responses Feb 28

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    I've been to detox three times.

    I've almost had a heart attack from withdrawal. Crashed my car and lost my job... But I can't stop
    esb89 esb89 22-25, F 5 Responses Mar 28

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    I've been drinking since I was a teenager.

    I was in the military and went to college I currently work in law enforcement I've been drinking through it all. My co-workers are just as bad. I need to find a way to deal with my life without hiding behind alcohol. Everyday I want to drink. Right now I want a drink. Last night...
    Christina1435 Christina1435 26-30, F 5 Responses Mar 19

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    Confessions Of An Alcoholic

    That last cup of poison made me disappear and the darkness took over. The hand reaches to the bottle and fills the cup the bottom of the glass seem to come really quickly..the darkness gets stronger and i'm getting further and further away,. it loses i'ts temper to the person i...
    saramarie77 saramarie77 18-21, F 5 Responses Sep 28, 2012

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    missy8080 missy8080 31-35, F 2 Responses Feb 28

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    How Did It Get To This Point?

    Back when i was 16 or so getting a 12 pack and splitting it with a friend was great, but as the years passed the drinking got heavier i got dumber and the consequinces became greater.... Its hard to set here and reflect back on my many years of drunken mistakes, but maybe just...
    sizzahands86 sizzahands86 26-30, M 9 Responses Apr 29, 2013

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    The Legal Age For Drinking Is 18 Where I Live.

    I could sit here and write about 'oh what a terrible childhood I had' and I would be telling the truth, but no I am going to say... - I started drinking when I was 12 to escape my head (wasn't really that hard to get access to grog given that I had an older brother and...
    randomdriftwood randomdriftwood 21-25, F 25 Responses Apr 11, 2007

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    My Story (Warning this a very long post – not

    for the faint of heart) I have decided to put my AA story on this site; sharing my experience, strength and hope, so that I may help others who are still sick and suffering from the ravages of alcoholism. What it was like, what happened and what it is like today. I grew up in a...
    ProgressNotPerfection ProgressNotPerfection 41-45, M 5 Responses Dec 18, 2013

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    464 Days

    Sobriety, its getting a little boring now. I look around at others who enjoy a drink now and then, and think they are lucky. They can have their cake and eat it too. All I can do is remind myself of the pain my drinking caused. The havoc it reeked on my life. So I close my...
    BrownEyedGirl09 BrownEyedGirl09 26-30, F 2 Responses Apr 23, 2013

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    Hi my name is sara and im an alcoholic.

    "I got my first taste of alcohol when I was a tot – my mum used to give me whisky or scotch in warm milk to help me sleep when i was in ireland. She was a big drinker, a binge drinker. At the age of 7 I had my first proper drink. At this stage i was in a total new country and...
    stormykiwi stormykiwi 22-25, F 5 Responses a week ago

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    I'm a few days away from going to inpatient

    treatment. I always thought I had it all together. I just got married have a husband that loves me and a great job. It's hard to fathom how my alcoholism got so far. You see, I'm a leaver. I get anxious, then drunk-which turns into a two or three day bender, then take off and...
    vbear79 vbear79 31-35, F 3 Responses Apr 7

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    You know, at some point I'm going to get a

    phone call full of abuse... when my ex discovers that his best bottle of Stolichnaya and his best bottle of Chivas are in fact full of water.
    xSCARx xSCARx 26-30, F 2 Responses 4 days ago

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    I've already been asked to drink 3 times this

    week, and all by people I enjoy spending time with. This is hard. I know that yes, I can have a glass of wine at home and stop...but I also know the false sense of security that gives me. When i do that, I then decide that I am in control. Which I am not. I also seem to think...
    EduardoDinero EduardoDinero 36-40, F 1 Response Mar 26

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    Self Medicating?

    It all started with blackberry brandy. I had barely learned to speak, but I had already learned that a lot of fussing and crying would result in a shot or two of black berry brandy. My grandmother had custody of me at the time, and black berry brandy was the cure for everything...
    puck61 puck61 51-55, M 16 Responses Jun 11, 2013

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    I am 6 months sober today.

    I am going in and out of feeling okay to feeling depressed. I am hanging on and using support groups to help me. I just needed to check in. My BF is not the most supportive person so I'm looking for support in other avenues. Thanks for listening.
    BuddyBo BuddyBo 56-60, F 6 Responses Mar 20

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    Still Battling It....

    I'm an alcoholic. That's a fact. I'd like to say a 'reformed' alcoholic, but are we ever ? I don't think so. I think once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic, even if you don't drink anymore. That's just a part of what we are, a shadow that'll follow us forever. I've been...
    cleozabu19 cleozabu19 26-30, F 83 Responses Apr 7, 2008

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    Trouble Ahead

    I take antabuse to stop me from drinking. It's worked for me for the last 17 months, it was my last resort and it worked. Snag is now my blood test has come back wonky, I have to have the test repeated on Monday in the hopes it's just a blip, if it's not I have to stop taking the...
    Illiteratetroll Illiteratetroll 46-50 16 Responses Oct 26, 2013

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    this week im going on 3 weeks of sobriety.

    last night i drove around looking for a place to eat and i ran into an aa meeting location by my house. i stopped to check out the meeting times and dates and they have one there every night. as i was standing there an older man asked me if i was coming in.. and i stood there...
    hopeimfree hopeimfree 36-40, M 3 Responses Apr 1

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    You know, I'm not really stupid.

    I hate when people say **** like "Wow, you drink a lot." Or. "Haven't you been drinking" I'm very aware of the **** I do. It's my life, I can live it how I want. Yeah, it sucks. But it's life man. Grow uppp .
    Silentscreamsx3 Silentscreamsx3 16-17, F 2 Responses Apr 7

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    I love the feeling of waking up,

    not having imbibed the night before. It makes me feel clean.
    Woody6 Woody6 41-45, M Mar 20

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    Sometimes I wonder, no fear,

    how much irreparable damage to my body I've already done.
    Woody6 Woody6 41-45, M 4 Responses Apr 4

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    i'm a liar and drinking

    currently, i am a liar. i have two best friends who i live for, who i've never lied to, until recently. i lie to them and others, and tell them that i've gone 'straight-edge' and i haven't gotten drunk while i'm out in several months now. but it's only because i've...
    MyRedYourWall MyRedYourWall 21-25, M 46 Responses Sep 19, 2007

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    I am an alcoholic and a cigarrtte smoker,

    the problem is I seem to always drink too much and get angry at my husband, we are so close to breaking up, I am normally without alcohol very loving and caring, he sez when I'm sober I treat him better thqn anyone ever has. I want to quit smoking and drinking completely, my...
    4myfuturehappiness 4myfuturehappiness 46-50, F 7 Responses Apr 2

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    When You Know You Can't Go Back Home

    I turned 15 years old the month before the Thanksgiving Day of that year and had been living on the streets since the previous April when my father, drunk, drove a knife into my leg and tossed me out of the house where I lived with him, my mother and nine brothers and sisters. I...
    cmmacneil cmmacneil 51-55, M 5 Responses Feb 3, 2013

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    The physical symptoms of quitting have mostly

    passed. Now I'm fighting a new challenge: boredom. I recall a line from a movie, where a man is recalling the death (from liver failure) of his alcoholic mother. Just before she died, he asked her if she had any regrets. She answered, "I regret all the times I was sober."
    Woody6 Woody6 41-45, M 1 Response Mar 23

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    I just signed in for a rehab in England,

    to start in 3 weeks. I will be there for a minimum of 12 to 18 months. It's completely free as it is a christian sponsored one. This is good as normal rehabs are so expensive I could hardly afford a week. Now I am just waiting and killing time before I return to the UK and check...
    Searching1n Searching1n 22-25, M 28 Responses Jan 6

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    Today marks 1 week sober.

    I knew all week I was going out Saturday night to a show I had a ticket for. I prepared myself mentally for not drinking. When I arrived I expected to see the crowd holding drinks in hands, but to my surprise people were not drinking. I felt calm and cool and didn't think about...
    Purpleviola Purpleviola 31-35, F 3 Responses Mar 2

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    Emotions And Sobriety

    hi it beens two weeks since my last drink and today i feel like s...t my counsellor say that i'm doing good, with all that is going on in my life. i did not drink.and she said yahs is good.today i wake up ok after that i feel loss,confuse,tired(i did not run today)took a nap and...
    erfra7 erfra7 46-50, M 3 Responses May 27, 2013

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    Scared Of The Stag Party

    I've not been drinking... mostly... for around a year now. I've had a couple of slips - nothing that's lasted longer than a week. I find not drinking relatively easy most of the time. My partner doesn't drink very much usually - even less so now that I am sober - and when we go...
    Telepresent Telepresent 26-30 8 Responses Jun 28, 2013

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