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I Am An Alcoholic

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,592 People

    I hate you so much when I'm drunk

    that I want to be drunk all the time.
    PinkP0werRanger PinkP0werRanger 26-30, F 2 Responses Jul 12

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    Today is coming to the end of day two without a

    drink. I have got more stuff done (as boring as it all was) today than I would normally complete in a week. If I can at least start, so can many more who suffer from this affliction. Regards to you all Kirk
    Kirkles Kirkles 41-45, M 7 Responses Jul 12

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    Self Medicating?

    It all started with blackberry brandy. I had barely learned to speak, but I had already learned that a lot of fussing and crying would result in a shot or two of black berry brandy. My grandmother had custody of me at the time, and black berry brandy was the cure for everything...
    puck61 puck61 51-55, M 16 Responses Jun 11, 2013

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    7:50 PM Drank. 9:30 PM Drunk.

    You know you are an alcoholic when: Under the influence of alcohol you ride your motorcycle through the dead of night.....to the tiny town of Morrison. And steal their only road sign. And wake up the next morning to discover it has been nailed to your bedroom wall....next to a...
    Vetrov Vetrov 51-55, M 8 Responses Nov 30, 2013

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    I'll Probably Delete This Tomorrow. So Message Me Soon If You Want To Help.

    I'm 24. Been drinking heavy almost every night since I was 18. I'm in a bad place mentally. Talk to me if you have advice or experience. Thanks in advance. edit update 12/9/2012 : Major breakthrough people. I've taken a week off completely. I've been doing 5-7 day stretches of...
    Trillmatic Trillmatic 22-25, M 17 Responses Oct 20, 2012

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    Woke up this morning

    after my first day of not drinking. Only a small step but feeling rather proud of myself :o)
    Kirkles Kirkles 41-45, M Jul 12

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    Confessions Of An Alcoholic

    That last cup of poison made me disappear and the darkness took over. The hand reaches to the bottle and fills the cup the bottom of the glass seem to come really quickly..the darkness gets stronger and i'm getting further and further away,. it loses i'ts temper to the person i...
    saramarie77 saramarie77 18-21, F 6 Responses Sep 28, 2012

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    Not yet but with the way things are going I'm

    headed down the wrong path. I drink everyday. I'm not sure if I am dependent, but I don't know what to do. It's to the point where I can drink a whole bottle of tequila.
    st777 st777 26-30, F 6 Responses Jul 12

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    I Will Never Drink Again!!

    Now that I have been diagnosed with Stage 3 Inflammatory Breast Cancer, the very thought of picking up a drink is repulsive. Why would I pick up poison?  What did I see in it in the first place?  Oh sure, it gave me temporary relief from my constant barrage of negative...
    lagatta lagatta 41-45, F 64 Responses Jan 3, 2013

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    I've been thinking about this a lot lately.

    When I put myself into treatment a while back, it was because I was sick of who I had become on a daily basis. I looked back at the last twenty years of my life and wondered where it had gone and why it was the way it was that day. I knew the answer immediately. Myself...
    raindancej raindancej 36-40, M 9 Responses Jul 8

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    Getting better without booze.

    Will I continue to stay sober for the next several months? I don't know. But it's been 2 weeks now without alcohol and it certainly feels like a losing battle won. There is hope to lead a normal life. May sound abnormal to sober people but normal life is privilege to alcoholics
    molde molde 31-35, M 2 Responses 6 days ago

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    464 Days

    Sobriety, its getting a little boring now. I look around at others who enjoy a drink now and then, and think they are lucky. They can have their cake and eat it too. All I can do is remind myself of the pain my drinking caused. The havoc it reeked on my life. So I close my...
    BrownEyedGirl09 BrownEyedGirl09 26-30, F 2 Responses Apr 23, 2013

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    I've been sober 2 days.

    I'm tired of making a fool out of myself. I'm sure I'll start to look and feel better as time goes on alcohol free , provided I stick to my will power. I find it interesting that alcoholism is the only disease you can get **** for and be blamed for. I mean you never say to a...
    BrightlyWound BrightlyWound 18-21, F 4 Responses Jun 23

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    What drives us to drink?

    Abuse? Addictive personality? What drives you to drink? Think hard. Tell me honest answers.
    Airmech Airmech 46-50, M 6 Responses Jul 19

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    molde molde 31-35, M 5 Responses Jul 16

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    Ever Heard the Exspression "Drunk As Cooter Brown"? Well I'm His Great-grandson.

        My alcoholism is not the product of an alcoholic home as a child, or a single tragic event or anything; I just ended up one.  How do I  know I'm an alcoholic? Why years of exstensive research "tieing one on" ofcourse.    ...
    LIttleRockLeo LIttleRockLeo 26-30, M 12 Responses Jul 3, 2007

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    I don't recall what day I quit

    but it's been more than 2 weeks of sober life. What goes in my head now? The way I was screwing up everything. And I ask myself..why did I do what I did. No answer. Recovery is a long process here.
    molde molde 31-35, M 3 Responses 2 days ago

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    I went to my first AA meeting tonight.

    I did it!!! I feel positive and happy. I'll keep you updated. I loved meeting people just like me. I don't know what I expected lol .... Nice people there :)
    daisybell7 daisybell7 36-40, F 4 Responses 3 days ago

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    On 1-4-2013, I quit drinking.

    I checked myself into a detox center and did it. I go to meetings and I love myself. Now if I could just get the guts to leave my functioning alcoholic husband.
    JustMeKimberly JustMeKimberly 31-35, F 4 Responses Jun 23

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    I have single handedly hosed my life down my

    throat with booze and pissed it all away.
    Awakening29 Awakening29 26-30, F 3 Responses Jul 19

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    I am 7 yrs sober. Sometimes i drink a bottle of

    beer for certain holidays but only while there are people around me. I always have the urge to drink but managed to control it by focusing on other things. Is it true about what they say that once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic?
    Yersparky Yersparky 31-35, M 2 Responses 4 days ago

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    I had my first drink at the age of 13

    and the rest is history. I come from a family with addiction problems but nothing too severe. Along with 20 beers a night I would need at least pot or pills to go with it. You're probably thinking I look nuts and act like it as well but it's not so obvious. In school I was...
    knicks7 knicks7 18-21, M 4 Responses Jul 21

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    When You Know You Can't Go Back Home

    I turned 15 years old the month before the Thanksgiving Day of that year and had been living on the streets since the previous April when my father, drunk, drove a knife into my leg and tossed me out of the house where I lived with him, my mother and nine brothers and sisters. I...
    cmmacneil cmmacneil 51-55, M 5 Responses Feb 3, 2013

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    I just signed in for a rehab in England,

    to start in 3 weeks. I will be there for a minimum of 12 to 18 months. It's completely free as it is a christian sponsored one. This is good as normal rehabs are so expensive I could hardly afford a week. Now I am just waiting and killing time before I return to the UK and check...
    Searching1n Searching1n 22-25, M 28 Responses Jan 6

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    It is a constant battle to keep the emotions

    and old memories in check. Also not to drink too..
    Airmech Airmech 46-50, M 3 Responses Jul 19

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    molde molde 31-35, M 3 Responses Jul 13

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    I found out about A.A.

    as the result of the court system, a big "no no" in the fellowship and it wasn't about some traffic offense. I ended up in rehab and as a result of the group therapy I started to experience a total cessation of emotion and almost all thought with no identification of "me" at all...
    StarWanderer StarWanderer 56-60, M 1 Response May 4

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    Day four sober. Managed to survive the trip to

    the parents. The sweats have stopped, finally and it's so liberating to go out and drive early in the morning without constantly looking around for police cars! If I can do four days, I guarantee that so many of you out there can do the same! Best wishes to you all and thanks...
    Kirkles Kirkles 41-45, M 6 Responses Jul 14

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    i'm a liar and drinking

    currently, i am a liar. i have two best friends who i live for, who i've never lied to, until recently. i lie to them and others, and tell them that i've gone 'straight-edge' and i haven't gotten drunk while i'm out in several months now. but it's only because i've...
    MyRedYourWall MyRedYourWall 21-25, M 46 Responses Sep 19, 2007

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    I'm Questioning My Decision To Stop Drinking

    I haven't had a drink for over three months, I take antabuse to keep me from drinking but I'm seriously questioning my decision to stop. It feels like my brain no longer functions as it should, everything is confused, simple decisions are too hard to make and the depression is...
    Illiteratetroll Illiteratetroll 46-50 12 Responses Oct 2, 2012

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    The Legal Age For Drinking Is 18 Where I Live.

    I could sit here and write about 'oh what a terrible childhood I had' and I would be telling the truth, but no I am going to say... - I started drinking when I was 12 to escape my head (wasn't really that hard to get access to grog given that I had an older brother and...
    randomdriftwood randomdriftwood 21-25, F 24 Responses Apr 11, 2007

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    Yesterday I hungout with friends,

    and... Didn't drink 👏👏💪💪 in all honesty, I was trying to hangout with drunk people while being sober because I wanted to see what it did to me, being al alcoholic, trying to teach myself a lesson. For a bit, I was so ready to drink, and...
    angelicahcah angelicahcah 18-21, F 3 Responses Jul 12

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    Does Anxiety Cause Alcoholism?

    Very common phrases you hear from Alcoholics are: "I can't get comfortable inside my own skin." "I just have a few drinks to relax." "After a couple of drinks, I feel more like myself." "I enjoy myself around people more with a few drinks." The common theme here is that their...
    Michaeloff55 Michaeloff55 61-65, M 4 Responses Jan 8, 2011

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    How Did It Get To This Point?

    Back when i was 16 or so getting a 12 pack and splitting it with a friend was great, but as the years passed the drinking got heavier i got dumber and the consequinces became greater.... Its hard to set here and reflect back on my many years of drunken mistakes, but maybe just...
    sizzahands86 sizzahands86 26-30, M 9 Responses Apr 29, 2013

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    Some call it alcoholism,

    I call it "keeping my emotions hydrated"
    PinkP0werRanger PinkP0werRanger 26-30, F 7 Responses Jul 17

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    angelicahcah angelicahcah 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 23

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    Let's make this as short

    as possible.. I started drinking in High School, every other weekend, you know. Then I went off to college where I begin staying in the dorms. Of course drinking was a huge part of the dorm life, so I was drinking every night. I then moved back to my parents house. That's when...
    TopherWhite22 TopherWhite22 22-25, M 9 Responses Dec 21, 2013

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    My Journey To Sobriety

    I turned to alcohol after a sudden, unwanted divorce. I used it to kill the pain, and then to loosen up and have fun. Later I used it for other reasons. Seems I could always find a reason to drink. That's what we alcoholics do, we make excuses to drink. I was drinking heavily...
    Siberia1000 Siberia1000 46-50, F 1 Response Jul 17, 2013

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    My Doctor says I'm a serious alcoholic,

    but I think I'm more of a funny alcoholic.
    PinkP0werRanger PinkP0werRanger 26-30, F 3 Responses 6 days ago

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    Today is 44 days of sobriety.

    The longest I've managed in 20 years (I'm 35 so do the math) I never took it seriously enough in the past. This has become a challenge interspersed with a personal mission/struggle. I finally watched the Bill W movie. It's on YouTube. I never realized just how serious the...
    wonderessa wonderessa 31-35, F 1 Response Jul 20

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    Day 5 (I Think) being sober

    and yesterday afternoon was a struggle! Kept thinking, 'I could just have a bottle of wine now.' Thankfully, the determination kicked in and I kept thinking back to the state I was previously in. I didn't want to go back there. I just took things hour by hour and next thing...
    Kirkles Kirkles 41-45, M 5 Responses Jul 15

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    Alcoholism Through The Years

    I grew up drinking beers and with my family since about 10. I did not start drinking around -the -clock 1/2 gallons of liquor until I was about 18. As im typing this right now, I sweat and can't even think clear. I've been to 2 rehabs and must have tried detox atleast 20 times. I...
    deleted deleted 26-30 16 Responses Jun 5, 2011

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    Revelation

    It just hit me like a ton of bricks. I figured out why I hate AA so much. I don't want to belong to a club, that would have me for a member.
    Lilt Lilt 46-50 28 Responses Jun 4, 2013

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    rrglasgow rrglasgow 36-40, M 6 Responses Jul 8

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    It's lonely and depressing at the bottom of the

    bottle. I don't want to do this to myself, never ending poison, gnawing away at my time. I travel for work and always have the opportunity to sink a bottle of wine. Before work is common for me now but was never before. Every relapse hits me harder and I need more poison to get...
    ericthebee ericthebee 36-40, M 1 Response Jul 7

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    Still Battling It....

    I'm an alcoholic. That's a fact. I'd like to say a 'reformed' alcoholic, but are we ever ? I don't think so. I think once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic, even if you don't drink anymore. That's just a part of what we are, a shadow that'll follow us forever. I've been...
    cleozabu19 cleozabu19 26-30, F 83 Responses Apr 7, 2008

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    I realized I was an alcoholic my sophomore year

    of college. I never went a day without drinking. I drank throughout the day and at night. I was partying, but only went for the alcohol. I started drinking young, but it was never a problem. Not until... anyways, after that I started drinking every day. I drank at school. I...
    Elysion Elysion 22-25, F 2 Responses Jun 26

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    First evening for a very long time

    where I came back from shopping without a load of drink.
    Kirkles Kirkles 41-45, M 1 Response Jul 11

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    Connections

    I need to know something and I am wondering if anyone who reads this could help me. Even before you became an alcoholic, were you a messy or unorganized person? Or both? Thank you in advance :)
    thegodchick thegodchick 36-40, F 16 Responses Oct 22, 2013

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    Was black out drunk last night at a swanky

    function full of much older adults. I'm incredibly embarrassed and ashamed, but desipte countless incidents like this in the past I can't learn my lesson. I have a family and I'm so afraid that I'm going to let them down if I don't stop. The thought of cold turkey scares me...
    slowyourroll slowyourroll 31-35, M 3 Responses Jul 13

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    Hi my name is sara and im an alcoholic.

    "I got my first taste of alcohol when I was a tot – my mum used to give me whisky or scotch in warm milk to help me sleep when i was in ireland. She was a big drinker, a binge drinker. At the age of 7 I had my first proper drink. At this stage i was in a total new country and...
    stormykiwi stormykiwi 22-25, F 5 Responses Apr 16

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    One Step At A Time

    I know what its like to break the denial and admit your are an alcoholic after suffering this horrible disease for many years.  I suggest  you remind your self that you are not a bad  person trying to be good, you are a sick person trying to get well. Also remember if you dont...
    LUKEIT LUKEIT 41-45, M 5 Responses May 19, 2012

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    Trouble Ahead

    I take antabuse to stop me from drinking. It's worked for me for the last 17 months, it was my last resort and it worked. Snag is now my blood test has come back wonky, I have to have the test repeated on Monday in the hopes it's just a blip, if it's not I have to stop taking the...
    Illiteratetroll Illiteratetroll 46-50 16 Responses Oct 26, 2013

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