I Am An Alcoholic

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,825 People

    464 Days

    Sobriety, its getting a little boring now. I look around at others who enjoy a drink now and then, and think they are lucky. They can have their cake and eat it too. All I can do is remind myself of the pain my drinking caused. The havoc it reeked on my life. So I close my...
    BrownEyedGirl09 BrownEyedGirl09
    26-30, F
    1 Response Apr 23, 2013

    Ever Heard the Exspression "Drunk As Cooter Brown"? Well I'm His Great-grandson.

        My alcoholism is not the product of an alcoholic home as a child, or a single tragic event or anything; I just ended up one.  How do I  know I'm an alcoholic? Why years of exstensive research "tieing one on" ofcourse.    ...
    LIttleRockLeo LIttleRockLeo
    26-30, M
    12 Responses Jul 3, 2007

    I found out about A.A.

    as the result of the court system, a big "no no" in the fellowship and it wasn't about some traffic offense. I ended up in rehab and as a result of the group therapy I started to experience a total cessation of emotion and almost all thought with no identification of "me" at all...
    StarWanderer StarWanderer
    56-60, M
    1 Response May 4, 2014

    I have decided. I want to fit my drinking

    around my life. Up til now, I've been fitting my life around my drinking.
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    3 Responses Feb 8, 2015
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    23 Responses Nov 4, 2015

    I am 18+ months sober,

    and last night I went to my first meeting. Words can not describe the relief I feel this morning. I was welcomed with open arms. Listened to the speaker who made me cry, laugh & smile. Everything anyone said I UNDERSTOOD or felt in some way. I was surrounded by people JUST LIKE...
    SoberJessica SoberJessica
    31-35, F
    4 Responses Aug 2, 2014
    theusunghero3 theusunghero3
    26-30, M
    1 Response Dec 23, 2015

    So it's been five weeks.

    It's been eight years since I've been sober for more than four weeks. I know it's only one more week, but it feels like a great accomplishment to me. I went out Friday with some friends, spent $20 (got a couple rounds for some friends). Usually I'll easily spend $50 just on...
    Dartanian Dartanian
    41-45, M
    3 Responses Jan 17

    i am an alcoholic, today I took the decission

    to stop for good. Dear friends, please support me.
    proximous proximous
    41-45, M
    4 Responses Nov 1, 2015

    Does Anxiety Cause Alcoholism?

    Very common phrases you hear from Alcoholics are: "I can't get comfortable inside my own skin." "I just have a few drinks to relax." "After a couple of drinks, I feel more like myself." "I enjoy myself around people more with a few drinks." The common theme here is that their...
    Michaeloff55 Michaeloff55
    61-65, M
    4 Responses Jan 8, 2011

    I Will Never Drink Again!!

    Now that I have been diagnosed with Stage 3 Inflammatory Breast Cancer, the very thought of picking up a drink is repulsive. Why would I pick up poison?  What did I see in it in the first place?  Oh sure, it gave me temporary relief from my constant barrage of negative...
    lagatta lagatta
    41-45, F
    62 Responses Jan 3, 2013

    I am an alcoholic and a drug addict at the same

    time.... to all the muslims reading this please pray for me ok... may Allah forgive me.... I believe that there is no god but Allah s.w.t and prophet Muhammad s.a.w is the messenger of Allah..... Ya Allah please forgive the person that is posting this.... amiin....
    citysquare citysquare
    22-25, M
    1 Response Mar 17

    To anyone who has quit drinking: should I

    gradually quit, like drink half of how much I usually drink, so it's not a shock to my system or quit cold-turkey?
    TainoPrincess84 TainoPrincess84
    31-35, F
    5 Responses Mar 8

    18 year old here down

    and depressed cause every time I drink I black out and get really mean to all of my friends anyone want to talk?
    CanniiBino CanniiBino
    18-21, M
    2 Responses Apr 17

    Sick from the drink today.

    Feel seedy, sweaty and naseous. I don't know why I drank so much ... I just wanted too, and then I didn't want to stop.
    Woody6 Woody6
    41-45, M
    1 Response Apr 15

    So heaven is where I can always have another

    drink, but I'm not yet drunk and (because I'm of that age) the tasty alcohol is low-carb, and I am never actually fully drunk and never will be or face the consequences, and that cute server wants to take me home. Hell is I go home alone and the consequences arevforever.
    Woody6 Woody6
    41-45, M
    1 Response Feb 11

    How many more mornings do I need to wake up

    feeling like this before I finally give up drinking for good? Uhg...
    Dartanian Dartanian
    41-45, M
    4 Responses Apr 15

    I realized I was an alcoholic my sophomore year

    of college. I never went a day without drinking. I drank throughout the day and at night. I was partying, but only went for the alcohol. I started drinking young, but it was never a problem. Not until... anyways, after that I started drinking every day. I drank at school. I...
    Elysion Elysion
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Jun 26, 2014

    I can't do it anymore,

    I now have an intolerance to alcohol, I tried drinking half of what I normally drink to cut down but got the same results. I did crazy **** and blacked out. Don't remember anything once again. I can't keep hurting and humiliating my family. I can not drink a single drop of...
    TainoPrincess84 TainoPrincess84
    31-35, F
    4 Responses Mar 10

    I want to be young again,

    and vivacious and have flirtatious conversations about this and that and nothing in particular and about that only important thing. I'm destined instead to be a dead-eyed drunk, beer swelling my face and vodka rotting my insides. And when I talk of anything, I'll struggle with...
    Woody6 Woody6
    41-45, M
    Mar 8

    Revelation

    It just hit me like a ton of bricks. I figured out why I hate AA so much. I don't want to belong to a club, that would have me for a member.
    Lilt Lilt
    46-50
    18 Responses Jun 4, 2013

    One Step At A Time

    I know what its like to break the denial and admit your are an alcoholic after suffering this horrible disease for many years.  I suggest  you remind your self that you are not a bad  person trying to be good, you are a sick person trying to get well. Also remember if you dont...
    Didlydudar Didlydudar
    41-45, M
    5 Responses May 19, 2012

    It's been a 8 days since I've had a drink.

    In my past attempts to quit I've always had a plan, thinking that I could teach myself how to control it, obviously that hasn't worked out so well. This time is different though, I have no plan, only this, don't drink. This time I'm angry because the last time I drank I broke a...
    Dartanian Dartanian
    41-45, M
    1 Response Dec 20, 2015

    I never thought of myself

    as an alcoholic. I thought i could handle drinking. I did in the past. Yes I would on occasion get drunk but I was in my twenties and this did not seem like a problem. I graduated from college, worked and would occasionally go out with friends. At one time i could stop at a...
    Asheera123 Asheera123
    41-45, F
    5 Responses Sep 21, 2015

    I can't just have one drink.

    Or even two. When I drink, I drink until I'm drunk. About 15 shots is my tolerance at this point. And it's every night. I can't stop. It's getting out of control. I do it mostly when I'm alone. Only because I just am alone a lot. I need to stop. I don't want a drinkers body, a...
    Scal92 Scal92
    22-25, F
    7 Responses Aug 23, 2015

    Tonight I had my first beer in six weeks.

    To my surprise is was easy to say no to a second one. I'm not liking the buzzy feeling. So I think it be a while before I have another, if I ever do. I don't think I'll ever drink scotch again, that would definitely be too much of a buzz.
    Dartanian Dartanian
    41-45, M
    1 Response Jan 22

    My usual drunken freakshow last night

    for St. Patrick's Day. I'm feeling sick and seedy and ashamed. Which is fine ... it seems a fitting punishment for my sins. I think I know why I need to drink now. I read an article on obsessive-compulsive personality disorder (OCPD). It has traits in common with OCD, but it...
    Woody6 Woody6
    41-45, M
    Mar 18

    Almost two weeks free ,

    one month by 1st April !!
    theusunghero3 theusunghero3
    26-30, M
    3 Responses Mar 13
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    10 Responses Sep 10, 2015

    Won't you take me home?

    I'm a generous lover, and I'm gentle, and though my hairline might not reflect it, I've testosterone to burn. And I've a great body for a man my age (I used to have a great body, full stop. But I still put in the effort. ) So try me out. Or buy me another drink. But I'd...
    Woody6 Woody6
    41-45, M
    Jan 28

    So here I go again on my own.

    ...DAY 1 I can say I probably didn't last much longer than 472 days....that was years ago and I don't quite remember exactly how the fall back into drinking occurred. it was probably my 30th birthday, I got drunk as hell that night. I'm 32 now and I won't say the past years...
    BrownEyedGirl09 BrownEyedGirl09
    26-30, F
    2 Responses Jan 3
    Woody6 Woody6
    41-45, M
    Jan 23

    I started drinking around 14.

    I finally got help at the beginning of this year and I was a little over a month away from being a whole year sober. Then I went to a party and got drunk. I had been beating myself up over it but that didn't help any. The only thing I can do is learn from my mistakes and move on...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    2 Responses Dec 20, 2015

    I'm over 4 years sober!

    I don't feel like going to meetings lately! I hope that changes soon as it's good to be part of something! Sometimes I don't like all the rules either!
    angelgirl9496 angelgirl9496
    31-35, F
    2 Responses Jan 6

    Drinking makes me stupid.

    .. but I can't seem to have fun without it.
    Woody6 Woody6
    41-45, M
    5 Responses Feb 27

    I am now nine months

    and two days sober. This is the longest I've gone without drinking and I hope to make it many more years!
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    9 Responses Oct 6, 2015

    Self Medicating?

    It all started with blackberry brandy. I had barely learned to speak, but I had already learned that a lot of fussing and crying would result in a shot or two of black berry brandy. My grandmother had custody of me at the time, and black berry brandy was the cure for everything...
    puck61 puck61
    51-55, M
    15 Responses Jun 11, 2013

    I have some experience with alcoholism.

    I thought I would add the things I encounter in my recovery here. I tend to be clinical with facts so expect information and not too much feelings. With that said, everything here is something I had to learn the hard way. ............... ................ Addiction...
    woolkey52 woolkey52
    56-60, M
    Jan 10

    My Journey To Sobriety

    I turned to alcohol after a sudden, unwanted divorce. I used it to kill the pain, and then to loosen up and have fun. Later I used it for other reasons. Seems I could always find a reason to drink. That's what we alcoholics do, we make excuses to drink. I was drinking heavily...
    Siberia1000 Siberia1000
    46-50, F
    Jul 17, 2013

    If you sit in a room full of people telling you

    that you're "sick" "insane" and suffering from a "disease" reading a book written by a religious nut, eventually you'll start believing it. That doesn't make it true. Think about it. Is sitting in a room full of people obsessed with their drinking behaviour healthy? I think...
    SwampyStables SwampyStables
    51-55, M
    7 Responses Oct 3, 2014

    So I have only drank twice in the last 24 days

    and didn't even get drunk both times. I think I might be able to just drink occasionally. However, I have not been around liquor yet. Only wine. Vodka is my weakness so I haven't really had much temptation.
    Scal92 Scal92
    22-25, F
    4 Responses Dec 25, 2015

    Yes this is nothing new I know.

    ..well at least I'm NOT in denial. Well I made it four days sober...even five outta the last six, but I have not been sleeping good at all. It's been hit, and miss, but even on the good night's I'll wake up at about two in the morning, and wake up every hour after that till time...
    Slashrattlenroll Slashrattlenroll
    41-45, M
    17 Responses Mar 2

    More than a year back I thought I had got

    addicted to alcohol...I used to drink everyday....I was fully aware that my drinking is bringing harm to everything I have.....I started earning a bad name in society....my work was affected and so my relations.....but something happened that I stopped drinking and now I often...
    loneratheart loneratheart
    31-35, M
    1 Response Feb 19

    I just signed in for a rehab in England,

    to start in 3 weeks. I will be there for a minimum of 12 to 18 months. It's completely free as it is a christian sponsored one. This is good as normal rehabs are so expensive I could hardly afford a week. Now I am just waiting and killing time before I return to the UK and check...
    Searching1n Searching1n
    22-25, M
    22 Responses Jan 6, 2014

    i'm a liar and drinking

    currently, i am a liar. i have two best friends who i live for, who i've never lied to, until recently. i lie to them and others, and tell them that i've gone 'straight-edge' and i haven't gotten drunk while i'm out in several months now. but it's only because i've...
    MyRedYourWall MyRedYourWall
    22-25, M
    43 Responses Sep 19, 2007

    I'm quitting drinking today,

    it's time I admit that I have a problem. I drink every day until I pass out, I'm awful to my husband and pick fights, the states he has come home to find me in are embarrassing. I completely humiliated myself drunk I front of him and his friend by taking my clothes off I don't...
    Shantisky Shantisky
    26-30, F
    6 Responses Sep 23, 2015

    I'm a chronic relapser.

    ..and it's so exhausting. I can't stop. I wonder if I'll ever get sober.
    fight4life fight4life
    31-35, F
    7 Responses Jan 6

    My Story (Warning this a very long post – not

    for the faint of heart) I have decided to put my AA story on this site; sharing my experience, strength and hope, so that I may help others who are still sick and suffering from the ravages of alcoholism. What it was like, what happened and what it is like today. I grew up in a...
    ProgressNotPerfection ProgressNotPerfection
    46-50, M
    5 Responses Dec 18, 2013

    I'm Questioning My Decision To Stop Drinking

    I haven't had a drink for over three months, I take antabuse to keep me from drinking but I'm seriously questioning my decision to stop. It feels like my brain no longer functions as it should, everything is confused, simple decisions are too hard to make and the depression is...
    Illiteratetroll Illiteratetroll
    46-50
    11 Responses Oct 2, 2012

    She's not getting drunk

    for the hell of it, she's getting drunk to numb the hell of it...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    2 Responses Dec 23, 2015

    Still Battling It....

    I'm an alcoholic. That's a fact. I'd like to say a 'reformed' alcoholic, but are we ever ? I don't think so. I think once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic, even if you don't drink anymore. That's just a part of what we are, a shadow that'll follow us forever. I've been...
    cleozabu19 cleozabu19
    26-30, F
    83 Responses Apr 7, 2008

    A week of four swims (~3K each),

    two heavy weight lifting sessions and two nights of hard drinking. My body feels broken and polluted. I can't swim today: my muscles need to recover or I'll injure myself. I'll probably end up drinking again today. It's the moment of that first sip- I can feel the tensions...
    Woody6 Woody6
    41-45, M
    4 Responses Jan 30

    Alcholics don't drink

    because they are fine... They drink because they hurt... Trying to numb some unconscious pain that's not dealt with... Mine stems in childhood... I am very self aware, don't get me wrong. I know why I drink. I'm not oblivious to my pain. I just don't know how else to deal with...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    3 Responses Jul 4, 2015

    It was difficult for me to join this group.

    Sure it seems easy, just hit "join group" and you're in, right? The problem is, by joining this group not only am I acknowledging I have a drinking problem, but I am also acknowledging what I've spent five years denying: that I am indeed an alcoholic. The prideful part of me is...
    ConfessionsOfALostGurl ConfessionsOfALostGurl
    22-25, F
    4 Responses Jan 1, 2015

    As I sit here and read over a few posts,

    I feel a bit compelled to reach out to those suffering. With the start of the new year, quite a few of us will be looking to make a fresh new start as we try to stave off our addictions. If you are here, you are obviously looking for help. It doesn't make you weak or less of a...
    virtusethonor virtusethonor
    31-35, M
    Jan 26

    I drank for happiness

    and became unhappy. I drank for joy and became miserable. I drank for sociability and became argumentative. I drank for sophistication and became obnoxious. I drank for friendship and made enemies. I drank for sleep and woke up tired. I drank for relaxation and got the shakes. I...
    MarijuanaAbuser MarijuanaAbuser
    18-21, M
    15 Responses Aug 21, 2015

    my friends think I'm an alcoholic

    and I'm afraid that I am. Idk how to stop.
    Saradancer Saradancer
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Jan 22

    The Legal Age For Drinking Is 18 Where I Live.

    I could sit here and write about 'oh what a terrible childhood I had' and I would be telling the truth, but no I am going to say... - I started drinking when I was 12 to escape my head (wasn't really that hard to get access to grog given that I had an older brother and...
    randomdriftwood randomdriftwood
    22-25, F
    23 Responses Apr 11, 2007

    Day 3, well life sure does have a way of

    testing your commitment and strength. Three days into this journey I find out that the store I've been managing for 9 months is closing. I have to tell 15 people that they are losing their jobs. Trigger I'd say yes, I would love to break out a bottle of tequila....hell smoke...
    BrownEyedGirl09 BrownEyedGirl09
    26-30, F
    9 Responses Jan 5
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