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I Am An Alcoholic

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,729 People

    I am 16 years old and in my 16 years of life I

    have gone through what a 40 year old could have dealt with. It all started when I was 3. My dad and mom split up and I did not understand. A new man took his place who is now my stepdad. Than at 4 years old I was in a severe car accident.. no one died thank God. At 6 years old...
    nicoletteaurora nicoletteaurora 16-17, F 1 Response Mar 16

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    After 5 days sober with lots of AA meetings,

    I gave up and woke up this morning with a splitting headache, sleeping backwards on the bed, and with no pants (which I discovered a few minutes later on the floor sopping wet, as though I had tried to wash them in the sink or something.) Does anyone have any advice on staying...
    rachelzofia rachelzofia 22-25, F 5 Responses Apr 17

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    I'm thinking more and more

    that binge drinking, well much drinking is self abuse and self harm. this may be no great revelation but it is just resonating so much with me. maybe a cycle for me as I have had abuse and neglect a lot in my life.
    mysmugcat mysmugcat 41-45, F 6 Responses Mar 15

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    I just got 4 months without a drink,

    but I know it takes 5 years to get your head back, sucks that I gota wait 5 years to find out if I even have a head :-) very greatful for my sobriety tho :-)
    sbenveniste sbenveniste 31-35, M 5 Responses Nov 8, 2014

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    Almost exactly 4 years ago I posted my story on

    EP. I got myself back on track, stayed with AA for almost a year, but then relapsed. I managed to "save myself" and keep things under wraps, but it spiralled one way and I am booked into rehab for 28 days starting day after tomorrow. I am petrified, but I am going. Alcohol...
    leaflet leaflet 46-50 3 Responses a week ago

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    I'm 18 and was diagnosed about 2 months ago in

    rehab as a stage 4 alcoholic. The 2 times I actually tried to stay sober, I could never make it longer than 2 and a half months. I have so many reasons why I should quit. I've already been in a drunk wreck, I steal to get an alcohol fix(and I never steal unless Ive been drinking...
    cawnbread cawnbread 18-21, F 5 Responses May 10

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    Does it get any easier?

    Other alcoholics are always telling me that with time it gets better, life gets easier and you get stronger the longer you fight the urge to drink. "Sober life is the better life." But I'm sitting here and I've been sober for two weeks now and I feel no stronger than I did two...
    TheOneTheyWarnedYouAbout TheOneTheyWarnedYouAbout 22-25 4 Responses May 1

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    i'm a liar and drinking

    currently, i am a liar. i have two best friends who i live for, who i've never lied to, until recently. i lie to them and others, and tell them that i've gone 'straight-edge' and i haven't gotten drunk while i'm out in several months now. but it's only because i've...
    MyRedYourWall MyRedYourWall 18-21, M 43 Responses Sep 19, 2007

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    How Did It Get To This Point?

    Back when i was 16 or so getting a 12 pack and splitting it with a friend was great, but as the years passed the drinking got heavier i got dumber and the consequinces became greater.... Its hard to set here and reflect back on my many years of drunken mistakes, but maybe just...
    sizzahands86 sizzahands86 26-30, M 10 Responses Apr 29, 2013

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    Scarily, I've been told I'm a functioning

    alcoholic .. Sounds like an oxymoron to me but helps out the ole self esteem a bit. The weird part...is that it doesn't bother me. Thoughts?
    Jordy83 Jordy83 31-35, M 2 Responses May 7

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    Day 8 trying the 90 meetings in 90 days!

    although yesterday was very rough for me, I'm feeling very confident this 3rd attempt in sobriety, I'm finally going in open minded, and looking forward to the steps and excited for better living. And open to any advice or convo that will help my adventure to sobriety. Thank You...
    laylabug05 laylabug05 22-25, F 2 Responses May 14

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    I like to think that I am drinking by choice

    but find myself drinking extremely regularly. Not getting drunk just drinking as often as I can. 2 shots for breakfast and as soon again as I can. 1/2 gallon lucky if it lasts me 3 days
    johnbed johnbed 41-45, M 5 Responses Mar 25

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    It was difficult for me to join this group.

    Sure it seems easy, just hit "join group" and you're in, right? The problem is, by joining this group not only am I acknowledging I have a drinking problem, but I am also acknowledging what I've spent five years denying: that I am indeed an alcoholic. The prideful part of me is...
    ConfessionsOfALostGurl ConfessionsOfALostGurl 22-25, F 5 Responses Jan 1

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    I need to detox so bad,

    physically and mentally
    Klaussss Klaussss 18-21, M 1 Response Feb 24

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    SatuSunshine SatuSunshine 26-30, F Feb 18

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    So, I've been drinking almost every evening

    for 7 months. I've drank 7 to 11 units every time I drank. How bad would be withdrawal and how long will it last.
    Klaussss Klaussss 18-21, M 2 Responses Feb 24

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    Ever Heard the Exspression "Drunk As Cooter Brown"? Well I'm His Great-grandson.

        My alcoholism is not the product of an alcoholic home as a child, or a single tragic event or anything; I just ended up one.  How do I  know I'm an alcoholic? Why years of exstensive research "tieing one on" ofcourse.    ...
    LIttleRockLeo LIttleRockLeo 26-30, M 12 Responses Jul 3, 2007

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    I had the desire to drink

    for about 4 hours now. I kept thinking about all the negative consequences. But something kept telling me to give in. Then I thought about the night I tried to pull through with suicide. I looked down at the scar on my chest and realized it's not worth going back to that dark...
    cawnbread cawnbread 18-21, F 5 Responses Mar 22

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    2 weeks sober. And tonight its killing me.

    I just want a drink so fricken bad. The first 4 days were hell. Everything seems to be fine until the weekend hits and then all i want to do is go party. I lost all my friends because i made the decision to clean up my life. I was heavily drinking everyday for the past 2.5 years...
    deleted deleted 26-30 5 Responses Apr 18

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    If you sit in a room full of people telling you

    that you're "sick" "insane" and suffering from a "disease" reading a book written by a religious nut, eventually you'll start believing it. That doesn't make it true. Think about it. Is sitting in a room full of people obsessed with their drinking behaviour healthy? I think...
    SwampyStables SwampyStables 46-50, M 9 Responses Oct 3, 2014

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    Revelation

    It just hit me like a ton of bricks. I figured out why I hate AA so much. I don't want to belong to a club, that would have me for a member.
    Lilt Lilt 46-50 26 Responses Jun 4, 2013

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    I haven't had a drink

    for several days. Withdrawal is awful.
    kurtjaeger kurtjaeger 16-17, M 1 Response Apr 15

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    Why do I do this to myself?

    It's been about 54 hours since I've had my last drink. The withdrawal symptoms are beginning to fade and, of course, I'm feeling lonely and miserable. Even though my withdrawals have been among the worst experiences of my life it's still hard not to head right out and get drunk...
    Mokiba Mokiba 31-35, M Feb 25

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    I've been watching intervention obsessively

    for the past 5-6 months. I find it really interesting about how people recover and how I act. I would say out load joking "this show makes me feel better about myself." Until today when I was watching an alcoholic suffer and it was the first time in a year I realized that person...
    mysticdragonlady mysticdragonlady 36-40, F 4 Responses Apr 30

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    I decided not to drink tonight.

    I sunk pretty low last night. I drank 4 shots before bed because I couldn't sleep. I woke up a few hours later literally peeing in bed and couldn't stop. Yes, it's kind of funny and I laughed with my friends about it. But I have a serious issue with alcohol. I drink every night...
    Scal92 Scal92 22-25, F 6 Responses Apr 15

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    Hi my name is sara and im an alcoholic.

    "I got my first taste of alcohol when I was a tot – my mum used to give me whisky or scotch in warm milk to help me sleep when i was in ireland. She was a big drinker, a binge drinker. At the age of 7 I had my first proper drink. At this stage i was in a total new country and...
    stormykiwi stormykiwi 22-25, F 4 Responses Apr 16, 2014

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    I 'am ,indeed an alcoholic.

    Started out as no big deal ,next thing i know things have gotten ,"out of control".I function ,don't drink in the morning or early afternoon,but i drink every day.My family has spoken to me,they accept me .I know i have to stop soon,and i think i may need to go to detox,Honestly...
    1prettygirl 1prettygirl 36-40, F 41 Responses Feb 25

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    I've been fighting the alcoholic tag

    for decades, but it's the truth. Just quit a few weeks ago, scratch my beer taste itch with ODouls, and go to AA. Had a lot of fun with drinking, but it's been more destructive than fun, and this ride is over. Can't say I'm sad about it, but here comes life, on its own terms...
    xenmuse xenmuse 31-35, M May 8

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    464 Days

    Sobriety, its getting a little boring now. I look around at others who enjoy a drink now and then, and think they are lucky. They can have their cake and eat it too. All I can do is remind myself of the pain my drinking caused. The havoc it reeked on my life. So I close my...
    BrownEyedGirl09 BrownEyedGirl09 26-30, F 1 Response Apr 23, 2013

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    My Story (Warning this a very long post – not

    for the faint of heart) I have decided to put my AA story on this site; sharing my experience, strength and hope, so that I may help others who are still sick and suffering from the ravages of alcoholism. What it was like, what happened and what it is like today. I grew up in a...
    ProgressNotPerfection ProgressNotPerfection 41-45, M 5 Responses Dec 18, 2013

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    So I am a high functioning alcoholic,

    I still go to university, and work, volunteer, have a great social life but I find myself sitting there wanting a drink, I find myself needing a drink and I don't get it, it's like it stops my thoughts and the pain (physical pain I'm technically disabled) or at least stops me...
    LadySweetz LadySweetz 18-21, F 5 Responses May 10

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    I am 18+ months sober,

    and last night I went to my first meeting. Words can not describe the relief I feel this morning. I was welcomed with open arms. Listened to the speaker who made me cry, laugh & smile. Everything anyone said I UNDERSTOOD or felt in some way. I was surrounded by people JUST LIKE...
    SoberJessica SoberJessica 31-35, F 5 Responses Aug 2, 2014

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    My Journey To Sobriety

    I turned to alcohol after a sudden, unwanted divorce. I used it to kill the pain, and then to loosen up and have fun. Later I used it for other reasons. Seems I could always find a reason to drink. That's what we alcoholics do, we make excuses to drink. I was drinking heavily...
    Siberia1000 Siberia1000 46-50, F 1 Response Jul 17, 2013

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    Still Battling It....

    I'm an alcoholic. That's a fact. I'd like to say a 'reformed' alcoholic, but are we ever ? I don't think so. I think once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic, even if you don't drink anymore. That's just a part of what we are, a shadow that'll follow us forever. I've been...
    cleozabu19 cleozabu19 26-30, F 83 Responses Apr 7, 2008

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    I realized I was an alcoholic my sophomore year

    of college. I never went a day without drinking. I drank throughout the day and at night. I was partying, but only went for the alcohol. I started drinking young, but it was never a problem. Not until... anyways, after that I started drinking every day. I drank at school. I...
    Elysion Elysion 22-25, F 3 Responses Jun 26, 2014

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    I am down to 6 units of alcohol per day,

    the depression doesn't go away, I sweat, get nervous and angry if I don't drink after 6 pm.
    Klaussss Klaussss 18-21, M 1 Response Feb 22

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    One Step At A Time

    I know what its like to break the denial and admit your are an alcoholic after suffering this horrible disease for many years.  I suggest  you remind your self that you are not a bad  person trying to be good, you are a sick person trying to get well. Also remember if you dont...
    LUKEIT LUKEIT 41-45, M 6 Responses May 19, 2012

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    I Will Never Drink Again!!

    Now that I have been diagnosed with Stage 3 Inflammatory Breast Cancer, the very thought of picking up a drink is repulsive. Why would I pick up poison?  What did I see in it in the first place?  Oh sure, it gave me temporary relief from my constant barrage of negative...
    lagatta lagatta 41-45, F 64 Responses Jan 3, 2013

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    I have drinking alcohol lately,

    my parent never really care about me anyway, I don know anymore sometime I really feel so much chaos about myself.
    deleted deleted 26-30 5 Responses Apr 23

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    When You Know You Can't Go Back Home

    I turned 15 years old the month before the Thanksgiving Day of that year and had been living on the streets since the previous April when my father, drunk, drove a knife into my leg and tossed me out of the house where I lived with him, my mother and nine brothers and sisters. I...
    cmmacneil cmmacneil 41-45, M 7 Responses Feb 3, 2013

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    Self Medicating?

    It all started with blackberry brandy. I had barely learned to speak, but I had already learned that a lot of fussing and crying would result in a shot or two of black berry brandy. My grandmother had custody of me at the time, and black berry brandy was the cure for everything...
    puck61 puck61 51-55, M 16 Responses Jun 11, 2013

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    I am not an alcoholic

    but I married a man who became one, we are no longer together but I am reading your stories to better understand what he is experiencing in hopes i will be more empathetic.
    Guavajelly Guavajelly 36-40, F Feb 25

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    Wanting Drink

    I used to drink about a bottle of average wine per night.I decided I didn't like that and was suicidal/tendencies. At one point I was drinking a can of 4% lager a night-I'm a lady,but I had to have that lager.Sometimes a bit more.And more at weekends. I prayed,something clicked I...
    mysmugcat mysmugcat 41-45, F 8 Responses May 14, 2013

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    Connections

    I need to know something and I am wondering if anyone who reads this could help me. Even before you became an alcoholic, were you a messy or unorganized person? Or both? Thank you in advance :)
    thegodchick thegodchick 36-40, F 15 Responses Oct 22, 2013

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    Does Anxiety Cause Alcoholism?

    Very common phrases you hear from Alcoholics are: "I can't get comfortable inside my own skin." "I just have a few drinks to relax." "After a couple of drinks, I feel more like myself." "I enjoy myself around people more with a few drinks." The common theme here is that their...
    Michaeloff55 Michaeloff55 61-65, M 4 Responses Jan 8, 2011

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    7:50 PM Drank. 9:30 PM Drunk.

    You know you are an alcoholic when: Under the influence of alcohol you ride your motorcycle through the dead of night.....to the tiny town of Morrison. And steal their only road sign. And wake up the next morning to discover it has been nailed to your bedroom wall....next to a...
    Vetrov Vetrov 51-55, M 8 Responses Nov 30, 2013

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