Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device

I Am An Alcoholic

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,782 People

    I am an Alcoholic. I am struggling with how to

    dismiss a "sponsee" She has blatantly ignored and or done the complete opposite of any suggestions I or anyone else have given her, has a million excuses, rarely"has time for meetings" boldly boasts about "all of the work she's doing with her sponsor" and hasn't picked up the...
    awhimandaprayer awhimandaprayer 31-35, F 8 Responses Jul 19

    Your Response

    Cancel

    It was difficult for me to join this group.

    Sure it seems easy, just hit "join group" and you're in, right? The problem is, by joining this group not only am I acknowledging I have a drinking problem, but I am also acknowledging what I've spent five years denying: that I am indeed an alcoholic. The prideful part of me is...
    ConfessionsOfALostGurl ConfessionsOfALostGurl 22-25, F 5 Responses Jan 1

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I started attending AA meetings about 3 months

    ago after a month long binge following the loss of a friend to heroin. The news was quite a shock. I admired this woman. She took life by the ******* balls. So confident, so outgoing. There wasn't anything she wouldn't or couldn't do. I remember thinking a time or two that If I...
    S0BERdaze S0BERdaze 36-40, F 5 Responses Jul 6

    Your Response

    Cancel

    When I drink is the only time I can express my

    feelings and I start to drunk text. Sometimes the other person doesn't know I'm drunk and they fall in love with a drunk girl texting all her emotions...
    Aimee3 Aimee3 26-30, F 1 Response Jun 21

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I'm 90 days sober, but I'm still having trouble

    with feeling like I need a drink.
    WalkingMyOwnPath WalkingMyOwnPath 41-45, M 5 Responses Jul 4

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I realized I was an alcoholic my sophomore year

    of college. I never went a day without drinking. I drank throughout the day and at night. I was partying, but only went for the alcohol. I started drinking young, but it was never a problem. Not until... anyways, after that I started drinking every day. I drank at school. I...
    Elysion Elysion 22-25, F 3 Responses Jun 26, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Wanting Drink

    I used to drink about a bottle of average wine per night.I decided I didn't like that and was suicidal/tendencies. At one point I was drinking a can of 4% lager a night-I'm a lady,but I had to have that lager.Sometimes a bit more.And more at weekends. I prayed,something clicked I...
    mysmugcat mysmugcat 41-45, F 8 Responses May 14, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel
    nixf1 nixf1 22-25, F 6 Responses Jun 24

    Your Response

    Cancel

    The Demons Within

    I love you so much, the way you make me feel. Sometimes you help me figure out whats real. My friends for life, what a circle. Jack, Jim, Evan, and bud. You guys have always been there for me when times are tough. Hell your there for me when times were great what more could i ask...
    Slashrattlenroll Slashrattlenroll 41-45, M 5 Responses Feb 15, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I just signed in for a rehab in England,

    to start in 3 weeks. I will be there for a minimum of 12 to 18 months. It's completely free as it is a christian sponsored one. This is good as normal rehabs are so expensive I could hardly afford a week. Now I am just waiting and killing time before I return to the UK and check...
    Searching1n Searching1n 22-25, M 26 Responses Jan 6, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I am missing you my love.

    My best friend. You who made me laugh so loudly. You who brought warmth and calm despite cold hateful surroundings. You told me that together we could conquer the world. I could trust you to always be there. To always deliver. To bring sleep. Deep sleep. I've kissed you a time...
    S0BERdaze S0BERdaze 36-40, F 1 Response Jul 9

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Still Battling It....

    I'm an alcoholic. That's a fact. I'd like to say a 'reformed' alcoholic, but are we ever ? I don't think so. I think once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic, even if you don't drink anymore. That's just a part of what we are, a shadow that'll follow us forever. I've been...
    cleozabu19 cleozabu19 26-30, F 83 Responses Apr 7, 2008

    Your Response

    Cancel

    here is a wonderful story of an old widow,

    who was bound to alcohol for many years and got free, now for 19 years without any backsliding. Here situation seemed to be totally hopeless - but the truth is completely different than all expected. I am aquainted with this widow and her husband over decades, I saw her misery...
    tg777 tg777 56-60, M 1 Response Jul 5

    Your Response

    Cancel

    i went and bought a bottle of wine today with

    the intentions of drinking it. i bought the regular size but then felt guilty so i drove down the road looking for my friend to give it to and then right beside me is a lady friend from aa. i turned around and came home. my daughter took it from me with an attitude.then the...
    LITVET LITVET 41-45, F 2 Responses Jun 23

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I'm Questioning My Decision To Stop Drinking

    I haven't had a drink for over three months, I take antabuse to keep me from drinking but I'm seriously questioning my decision to stop. It feels like my brain no longer functions as it should, everything is confused, simple decisions are too hard to make and the depression is...
    Illiteratetroll Illiteratetroll 46-50 12 Responses Oct 2, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Revelation

    It just hit me like a ton of bricks. I figured out why I hate AA so much. I don't want to belong to a club, that would have me for a member.
    Lilt Lilt 46-50 26 Responses Jun 4, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I just got 4 months without a drink,

    but I know it takes 5 years to get your head back, sucks that I gota wait 5 years to find out if I even have a head :-) very greatful for my sobriety tho :-)
    sbenveniste sbenveniste 31-35, M 4 Responses Nov 8, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I go to the bar often alone

    and sit there until I'm drunk. I'm a fairly attractive female and people always ask why I'm there alone... Did your boyfriend break up with you? Are you sad? No! I'm an alcoholic! Why's it so hard for people to understand that?
    Aimee3 Aimee3 26-30, F 7 Responses Jun 21

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Am Ashamed

    I have tried hard to deny it, but I can't. I have a disease. It's called alcoholism. It has before and is destroying my life. I am married, but don't know for how long; either by choice or not. I am a father of two and I love my kids. And I am an alcoholic. I am grateful...
    PrayersforRain PrayersforRain 36-40, M 2 Responses Oct 11, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Self Medicating?

    It all started with blackberry brandy. I had barely learned to speak, but I had already learned that a lot of fussing and crying would result in a shot or two of black berry brandy. My grandmother had custody of me at the time, and black berry brandy was the cure for everything...
    puck61 puck61 51-55, M 16 Responses Jun 11, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel
    katt177 katt177 18-21, F 4 Responses Jun 23

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I found out about A.A.

    as the result of the court system, a big "no no" in the fellowship and it wasn't about some traffic offense. I ended up in rehab and as a result of the group therapy I started to experience a total cessation of emotion and almost all thought with no identification of "me" at all...
    StarWanderer StarWanderer 56-60, M 1 Response May 4, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I'm thinking more and more

    that binge drinking, well much drinking is self abuse and self harm. this may be no great revelation but it is just resonating so much with me. maybe a cycle for me as I have had abuse and neglect a lot in my life.
    mysmugcat mysmugcat 41-45, F 7 Responses Mar 15

    Your Response

    Cancel

    If you sit in a room full of people telling you

    that you're "sick" "insane" and suffering from a "disease" reading a book written by a religious nut, eventually you'll start believing it. That doesn't make it true. Think about it. Is sitting in a room full of people obsessed with their drinking behaviour healthy? I think...
    SwampyStables SwampyStables 46-50, M 9 Responses Oct 3, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Connections

    I need to know something and I am wondering if anyone who reads this could help me. Even before you became an alcoholic, were you a messy or unorganized person? Or both? Thank you in advance :)
    thegodchick thegodchick 36-40, F 15 Responses Oct 22, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My Story (Warning this a very long post – not

    for the faint of heart) I have decided to put my AA story on this site; sharing my experience, strength and hope, so that I may help others who are still sick and suffering from the ravages of alcoholism. What it was like, what happened and what it is like today. I grew up in a...
    ProgressNotPerfection ProgressNotPerfection 41-45, M 5 Responses Dec 18, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    How Did It Get To This Point?

    Back when i was 16 or so getting a 12 pack and splitting it with a friend was great, but as the years passed the drinking got heavier i got dumber and the consequinces became greater.... Its hard to set here and reflect back on my many years of drunken mistakes, but maybe just...
    sizzahands86 sizzahands86 26-30, M 10 Responses Apr 29, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    It's now been two weeks

    since my last drink and about a month since I was drunk. I'm hoping to go another month without getting wasted.
    fishandchips321 fishandchips321 26-30, M 3 Responses a week ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    you have/had a mental illness

    and drank or do? how do you cope?
    mysmugcat mysmugcat 41-45, F 13 Responses Jun 28

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Will Never Drink Again!!

    Now that I have been diagnosed with Stage 3 Inflammatory Breast Cancer, the very thought of picking up a drink is repulsive. Why would I pick up poison?  What did I see in it in the first place?  Oh sure, it gave me temporary relief from my constant barrage of negative...
    lagatta lagatta 41-45, F 64 Responses Jan 3, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Alcholics don't drink

    because they are fine... They drink because they hurt... Trying to numb some unconscious pain that's not dealt with... Mine stems in childhood... I am very self aware, don't get me wrong. I know why I drink. I'm not oblivious to my pain. I just don't know how else to deal with...
    Aimee3 Aimee3 26-30, F 4 Responses Jul 4

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I just finished the fifth i bought last night.

    I have nothing now. I don't have bad withdrawls. According to what I have read I should. I just sit here awake for a few days. I drink tea constanly because drinking booze has made me addicted to the act of drinking in general. They say the worst brain damage happens when...
    Swillbucket Swillbucket 36-40, M 1 Response Jun 17

    Your Response

    Cancel

    The Legal Age For Drinking Is 18 Where I Live.

    I could sit here and write about 'oh what a terrible childhood I had' and I would be telling the truth, but no I am going to say... - I started drinking when I was 12 to escape my head (wasn't really that hard to get access to grog given that I had an older brother and...
    randomdriftwood randomdriftwood 18-21, F 23 Responses Apr 11, 2007

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Sorry to say, but I always find myself watching

    Intervention while drinking my 8th or 9th beer, and thinking how stupid I am. So sad.......
    Jade9105 Jade9105 36-40, F 7 Responses Jul 8

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Last night was the first night I really

    admitted to myself and my boyfriend as well that I'm an alcoholic. I am scared about the fact that I have to change and that if I decide to become sober I will never be able to drink again. Drinking has been part of my life since I was 15 years old and I'm almost 22 now. It's...
    jknilon jknilon 22-25, F 3 Responses Jul 20

    Your Response

    Cancel
    katt177 katt177 18-21, F 2 Responses Jun 16

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Last night I had a few drinks in my dream.

    I know that I was upset about something that happened, but I don't know what it was. I felt like I let my wife down. I'm 80 days sober, and I woke up thinking I had thrown it all away.
    WalkingMyOwnPath WalkingMyOwnPath 41-45, M 3 Responses Jun 23

    Your Response

    Cancel
    TOKid23 TOKid23 18-21, M a week ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    i'm a liar and drinking

    currently, i am a liar. i have two best friends who i live for, who i've never lied to, until recently. i lie to them and others, and tell them that i've gone 'straight-edge' and i haven't gotten drunk while i'm out in several months now. but it's only because i've...
    MyRedYourWall MyRedYourWall 18-21, M 43 Responses Sep 19, 2007

    Your Response

    Cancel

    no judgment but im in recovery

    and I have relapsed twice even tho im pregnant I didnt binge or anything but jus having the one drink those couple times I knew was wrong
    happymess21 happymess21 22-25, F 2 Responses Jun 22

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Finishing two more beers

    because they are open. I know it's not right but I'm doing it anyway
    lindselizzy lindselizzy 26-30, F 3 Responses Jun 17

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Aimee3 Aimee3 26-30, F Jun 21

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I am 18+ months sober,

    and last night I went to my first meeting. Words can not describe the relief I feel this morning. I was welcomed with open arms. Listened to the speaker who made me cry, laugh & smile. Everything anyone said I UNDERSTOOD or felt in some way. I was surrounded by people JUST LIKE...
    SoberJessica SoberJessica 31-35, F 5 Responses Aug 2, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I 'am ,indeed an alcoholic.

    Started out as no big deal ,next thing i know things have gotten ,"out of control".I function ,don't drink in the morning or early afternoon,but i drink every day.My family has spoken to me,they accept me .I know i have to stop soon,and i think i may need to go to detox,Honestly...
    1prettygirl 1prettygirl 36-40, F 40 Responses Feb 25

    Your Response

    Cancel

    In 2011, I started abusing narcotics (percs

    and oxys). In 2013, I experimented with some harder stuff: meth and crack. In 2014, I started drinking. Its been my go to ever since. I have been lost for so long I dont know how to find my way back to normal. I go through the motions each day because I know if I ever stopped...
    Mynewleafsparkles Mynewleafsparkles 26-30, F 4 Responses Jun 18

    Your Response

    Cancel

    "There are two kinds of people in life: smokers

    and non-smokers. The trick is to find out which you are and be that person." --- a line from the Kenneth Branagh film Dead Again. I think it works the same way with drinking. I'm a drinker. I know that. The thing is, I've decided I can no longer be that person. So who am I...
    Woody6 Woody6 41-45, M 1 Response Jul 14

    Your Response

    Cancel