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I Am An Alcoholic

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,609 People

    I miss alcohol. I miss the delicate resolution

    I felt during the morning afters. I miss feeling my head fill with dizzy warmth. I miss important and well spoken words dripping out of my mouth. I miss knowing the answers and being okay with my current situation because I could understand, I understood the world and its loss...
    catatonically catatonically 18-21, F 3 Responses Aug 13

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    My Story (Warning this a very long post – not

    for the faint of heart) I have decided to put my AA story on this site; sharing my experience, strength and hope, so that I may help others who are still sick and suffering from the ravages of alcoholism. What it was like, what happened and what it is like today. I grew up in a...
    ProgressNotPerfection ProgressNotPerfection 41-45, M 5 Responses Dec 18, 2013

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    The Legal Age For Drinking Is 18 Where I Live.

    I could sit here and write about 'oh what a terrible childhood I had' and I would be telling the truth, but no I am going to say... - I started drinking when I was 12 to escape my head (wasn't really that hard to get access to grog given that I had an older brother and...
    randomdriftwood randomdriftwood 21-25, F 24 Responses Apr 11, 2007

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    7:50 PM Drank. 9:30 PM Drunk.

    You know you are an alcoholic when: Under the influence of alcohol you ride your motorcycle through the dead of night.....to the tiny town of Morrison. And steal their only road sign. And wake up the next morning to discover it has been nailed to your bedroom wall....next to a...
    Vetrov Vetrov 51-55, M 8 Responses Nov 30, 2013

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    It is a constant battle to keep the emotions

    and old memories in check. Also not to drink too..
    Airmech Airmech 46-50, M 3 Responses Jul 19

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    I'll Probably Delete This Tomorrow. So Message Me Soon If You Want To Help.

    I'm 24. Been drinking heavy almost every night since I was 18. I'm in a bad place mentally. Talk to me if you have advice or experience. Thanks in advance. edit update 12/9/2012 : Major breakthrough people. I've taken a week off completely. I've been doing 5-7 day stretches of...
    Trillmatic Trillmatic 22-25, M 17 Responses Oct 20, 2012

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    I always wonder if people really believe me

    when they ask and I tell them, "It happens when I drink too much coffe." I'm always nervous to hold paper around anyone who's noticed and asked. Have they noticed that I never drink coffee?
    lovelyss lovelyss 22-25, F 2 Responses Aug 11

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    How Did It Get To This Point?

    Back when i was 16 or so getting a 12 pack and splitting it with a friend was great, but as the years passed the drinking got heavier i got dumber and the consequinces became greater.... Its hard to set here and reflect back on my many years of drunken mistakes, but maybe just...
    sizzahands86 sizzahands86 26-30, M 9 Responses Apr 29, 2013

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    I am 18+ months sober,

    and last night I went to my first meeting. Words can not describe the relief I feel this morning. I was welcomed with open arms. Listened to the speaker who made me cry, laugh & smile. Everything anyone said I UNDERSTOOD or felt in some way. I was surrounded by people JUST LIKE...
    SoberJessica SoberJessica 31-35, F 6 Responses Aug 2

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    I'm doing it again. I'm isolating myself from

    everyone . This happens everytime I try to sober up, except I completely disconnect from the world and don't text people back answer phone calls and sit in my room with netflix , I'll miss people but I wouldn't do anything about it because I don't miss them as much as I don't...
    angelicahcah angelicahcah 18-21, F 4 Responses Aug 8

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    I'm Questioning My Decision To Stop Drinking

    I haven't had a drink for over three months, I take antabuse to keep me from drinking but I'm seriously questioning my decision to stop. It feels like my brain no longer functions as it should, everything is confused, simple decisions are too hard to make and the depression is...
    Illiteratetroll Illiteratetroll 46-50 12 Responses Oct 2, 2012

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    I'm glad I found this site.

    I am currently a closet (actually, a garage) drinker. I fall off my wagon about once a week. I've gone as long as three weeks. I am currently on day three of sober. Sigh. I'm hoping to use this site to help me gain some momentum.
    wpb211 wpb211 41-45, M 5 Responses Aug 12

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    If I don't stop drinking I am going to lose the

    best person I have ever had in my life, day 2! I have made it 3 months before but something always happens that makes me drink again, I have to get this under control!
    gina2440 gina2440 31-35, F 2 Responses Aug 12

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    molde molde 31-35, M 3 Responses Jul 13

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    spark69 spark69 18-21, M 1 Response Aug 15

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    My Journey To Sobriety

    I turned to alcohol after a sudden, unwanted divorce. I used it to kill the pain, and then to loosen up and have fun. Later I used it for other reasons. Seems I could always find a reason to drink. That's what we alcoholics do, we make excuses to drink. I was drinking heavily...
    Siberia1000 Siberia1000 46-50, F 1 Response Jul 17, 2013

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    i'm a liar and drinking

    currently, i am a liar. i have two best friends who i live for, who i've never lied to, until recently. i lie to them and others, and tell them that i've gone 'straight-edge' and i haven't gotten drunk while i'm out in several months now. but it's only because i've...
    MyRedYourWall MyRedYourWall 21-25, M 45 Responses Sep 19, 2007

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    My Doctor says I'm a serious alcoholic,

    but I think I'm more of a funny alcoholic.
    PinkP0werRanger PinkP0werRanger 26-30, F 3 Responses Jul 24

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    Alcoholism Through The Years

    I grew up drinking beers and with my family since about 10. I did not start drinking around -the -clock 1/2 gallons of liquor until I was about 18. As im typing this right now, I sweat and can't even think clear. I've been to 2 rehabs and must have tried detox atleast 20 times. I...
    deleted deleted 26-30 16 Responses Jun 5, 2011

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    The worst thing about admitting you're an

    alcoholic is that people will expect you to want to stop drinking.
    PinkP0werRanger PinkP0werRanger 26-30, F 4 Responses a week ago

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    i think im an alcoholic - i drink

    as early as 8 in the morning, not all the time. Usually i will start after lunch. I drink between 8-12+ units a day. Every day i wake u and say yesterday was the last - but - im not sure how to stop.
    blondeandblue blondeandblue 31-35, F 2 Responses Aug 12

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    I have single handedly hosed my life down my

    throat with booze and pissed it all away.
    Awakening29 Awakening29 26-30, F 2 Responses Jul 19

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    I just signed in for a rehab in England,

    to start in 3 weeks. I will be there for a minimum of 12 to 18 months. It's completely free as it is a christian sponsored one. This is good as normal rehabs are so expensive I could hardly afford a week. Now I am just waiting and killing time before I return to the UK and check...
    Searching1n Searching1n 22-25, M 28 Responses Jan 6

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    I Will Never Drink Again!!

    Now that I have been diagnosed with Stage 3 Inflammatory Breast Cancer, the very thought of picking up a drink is repulsive. Why would I pick up poison?  What did I see in it in the first place?  Oh sure, it gave me temporary relief from my constant barrage of negative...
    lagatta lagatta 41-45, F 64 Responses Jan 3, 2013

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    Self Medicating?

    It all started with blackberry brandy. I had barely learned to speak, but I had already learned that a lot of fussing and crying would result in a shot or two of black berry brandy. My grandmother had custody of me at the time, and black berry brandy was the cure for everything...
    puck61 puck61 51-55, M 16 Responses Jun 11, 2013

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    Connections

    I need to know something and I am wondering if anyone who reads this could help me. Even before you became an alcoholic, were you a messy or unorganized person? Or both? Thank you in advance :)
    thegodchick thegodchick 36-40, F 16 Responses Oct 22, 2013

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    Revelation

    It just hit me like a ton of bricks. I figured out why I hate AA so much. I don't want to belong to a club, that would have me for a member.
    Lilt Lilt 46-50 28 Responses Jun 4, 2013

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    Ever Heard the Exspression "Drunk As Cooter Brown"? Well I'm His Great-grandson.

        My alcoholism is not the product of an alcoholic home as a child, or a single tragic event or anything; I just ended up one.  How do I  know I'm an alcoholic? Why years of exstensive research "tieing one on" ofcourse.    ...
    LIttleRockLeo LIttleRockLeo 26-30, M 12 Responses Jul 3, 2007

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    464 Days

    Sobriety, its getting a little boring now. I look around at others who enjoy a drink now and then, and think they are lucky. They can have their cake and eat it too. All I can do is remind myself of the pain my drinking caused. The havoc it reeked on my life. So I close my...
    BrownEyedGirl09 BrownEyedGirl09 26-30, F 2 Responses Apr 23, 2013

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    Getting better without booze.

    Will I continue to stay sober for the next several months? I don't know. But it's been 2 weeks now without alcohol and it certainly feels like a losing battle won. There is hope to lead a normal life. May sound abnormal to sober people but normal life is privilege to alcoholics
    molde molde 31-35, M 2 Responses Jul 24

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    When You Know You Can't Go Back Home

    I turned 15 years old the month before the Thanksgiving Day of that year and had been living on the streets since the previous April when my father, drunk, drove a knife into my leg and tossed me out of the house where I lived with him, my mother and nine brothers and sisters. I...
    cmmacneil cmmacneil 51-55, M 5 Responses Feb 3, 2013

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    Was black out drunk last night at a swanky

    function full of much older adults. I'm incredibly embarrassed and ashamed, but desipte countless incidents like this in the past I can't learn my lesson. I have a family and I'm so afraid that I'm going to let them down if I don't stop. The thought of cold turkey scares me...
    slowyourroll slowyourroll 31-35, M 3 Responses Jul 13

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    I had my first drink at the age of 13

    and the rest is history. I come from a family with addiction problems but nothing too severe. Along with 20 beers a night I would need at least pot or pills to go with it. You're probably thinking I look nuts and act like it as well but it's not so obvious. In school I was...
    knicks7 knicks7 18-21, M 3 Responses Jul 21

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    Day four sober. Managed to survive the trip to

    the parents. The sweats have stopped, finally and it's so liberating to go out and drive early in the morning without constantly looking around for police cars! If I can do four days, I guarantee that so many of you out there can do the same! Best wishes to you all and thanks...
    Kirkles Kirkles 41-45, M 5 Responses Jul 14

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    I'm an alcoholic. I just.

    ..felt the need to say that and don't know how to feel now that I've said that. Oh boy.
    Lucile199 Lucile199 18-21, F 1 Response 6 days ago

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    I Am Ashamed

    I have tried hard to deny it, but I can't. I have a disease. It's called alcoholism. It has before and is destroying my life. I am married, but don't know for how long; either by choice or not. I am a father of two and I love my kids. And I am an alcoholic. I am grateful...
    PrayersforRain PrayersforRain 36-40, M 3 Responses Oct 11, 2013

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    I found out about A.A.

    as the result of the court system, a big "no no" in the fellowship and it wasn't about some traffic offense. I ended up in rehab and as a result of the group therapy I started to experience a total cessation of emotion and almost all thought with no identification of "me" at all...
    StarWanderer StarWanderer 56-60, M 1 Response May 4

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    Still Battling It....

    I'm an alcoholic. That's a fact. I'd like to say a 'reformed' alcoholic, but are we ever ? I don't think so. I think once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic, even if you don't drink anymore. That's just a part of what we are, a shadow that'll follow us forever. I've been...
    cleozabu19 cleozabu19 26-30, F 83 Responses Apr 7, 2008

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    angelicahcah angelicahcah 18-21, F 4 Responses Jul 23

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    I fell off the wagon last night.

    I guess I need a strategy for the weekends that is hard for me to wriggle out of.
    wpb211 wpb211 41-45, M 2 Responses a week ago

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    I don't recall what day I quit

    but it's been more than 2 weeks of sober life. What goes in my head now? The way I was screwing up everything. And I ask myself..why did I do what I did. No answer. Recovery is a long process here.
    molde molde 31-35, M 5 Responses Jul 29

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    Trouble Ahead

    I take antabuse to stop me from drinking. It's worked for me for the last 17 months, it was my last resort and it worked. Snag is now my blood test has come back wonky, I have to have the test repeated on Monday in the hopes it's just a blip, if it's not I have to stop taking the...
    Illiteratetroll Illiteratetroll 46-50 16 Responses Oct 26, 2013

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    I am 7 yrs sober. Sometimes i drink a bottle of

    beer for certain holidays but only while there are people around me. I always have the urge to drink but managed to control it by focusing on other things. Is it true about what they say that once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic?
    Yersparky Yersparky 31-35, M 6 Responses Jul 27

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    Some call it alcoholism,

    I call it "keeping my emotions hydrated"
    PinkP0werRanger PinkP0werRanger 26-30, F 6 Responses Jul 17

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    I've been drinking for years now

    and I'm only 21. I told myself I was going to quit, it only lasted maybe a couple months at the most. Sometimes it's not so bad, other times it's all I want to do. Like right now, I'm drinking as I type. People don't approve of me drinking, and as much as I hate to admit, I'll...
    brandijade92 brandijade92 18-21, F 4 Responses 1 day ago

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    Today is 44 days of sobriety.

    The longest I've managed in 20 years (I'm 35 so do the math) I never took it seriously enough in the past. This has become a challenge interspersed with a personal mission/struggle. I finally watched the Bill W movie. It's on YouTube. I never realized just how serious the...
    wonderessa wonderessa 31-35, F 1 Response Jul 20

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    Hi my name is sara and im an alcoholic.

    "I got my first taste of alcohol when I was a tot – my mum used to give me whisky or scotch in warm milk to help me sleep when i was in ireland. She was a big drinker, a binge drinker. At the age of 7 I had my first proper drink. At this stage i was in a total new country and...
    stormykiwi stormykiwi 22-25, F 5 Responses Apr 16

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    Does Anxiety Cause Alcoholism?

    Very common phrases you hear from Alcoholics are: "I can't get comfortable inside my own skin." "I just have a few drinks to relax." "After a couple of drinks, I feel more like myself." "I enjoy myself around people more with a few drinks." The common theme here is that their...
    Michaeloff55 Michaeloff55 61-65, M 4 Responses Jan 8, 2011

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    It's been 8 weeks and one day.

    I've never been sober this long. My BF asked me when was the last time I was sober this long. I was like maybe high school? That's sick... I remember a didn't drink for a month it just once a week or twice. I rarely ever went a month. The fog has completely disappeared...
    mysticdragonlady mysticdragonlady 36-40, F 6 Responses Jun 19

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    What drives us to drink?

    Abuse? Addictive personality? What drives you to drink? Think hard. Tell me honest answers.
    Airmech Airmech 46-50, M 8 Responses Jul 19

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    I went to my first AA meeting tonight.

    I did it!!! I feel positive and happy. I'll keep you updated. I loved meeting people just like me. I don't know what I expected lol .... Nice people there :)
    daisybell7 daisybell7 36-40, F 4 Responses Jul 27

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    Confessions Of An Alcoholic

    That last cup of poison made me disappear and the darkness took over. The hand reaches to the bottle and fills the cup the bottom of the glass seem to come really quickly..the darkness gets stronger and i'm getting further and further away,. it loses i'ts temper to the person i...
    saramarie77 saramarie77 18-21, F 6 Responses Sep 28, 2012

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    molde molde 31-35, M 5 Responses Jul 16

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