Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device

I Am An Alcoholic

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,839 People

    Today will be a week sober.

    The headaches are getting better. The depression is getting worse. But I've never felt more alive. I feel like I'm bursting with passion. I want to write. I want to draw and create. But I also want to cry. I want to hide in a hole. I want to scream at the top of my lungs.
    Scal92 Scal92 22-25, F 9 Responses Dec 8, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    It was difficult for me to join this group.

    Sure it seems easy, just hit "join group" and you're in, right? The problem is, by joining this group not only am I acknowledging I have a drinking problem, but I am also acknowledging what I've spent five years denying: that I am indeed an alcoholic. The prideful part of me is...
    ConfessionsOfALostGurl ConfessionsOfALostGurl 22-25, F 5 Responses Jan 1, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I 'am ,indeed an alcoholic.

    Started out as no big deal ,next thing i know things have gotten ,"out of control".I function ,don't drink in the morning or early afternoon,but i drink every day.My family has spoken to me,they accept me .I know i have to stop soon,and i think i may need to go to detox,Honestly...
    1prettygirl 1prettygirl 36-40, F 35 Responses Feb 25, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Revelation

    It just hit me like a ton of bricks. I figured out why I hate AA so much. I don't want to belong to a club, that would have me for a member.
    Lilt Lilt 46-50 26 Responses Jun 4, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    settling with 2-3 beers

    or drinks for the night like normal people do is so hard it's almost impossible for me .. if i would have to settle with just 3 drinks for the night to me it feels like starting to have sex with somebody then stop when you just started, stop before you climax or like drinking...
    mistywillow mistywillow 22-25, M 1 Response Dec 11, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Does Anxiety Cause Alcoholism?

    Very common phrases you hear from Alcoholics are: "I can't get comfortable inside my own skin." "I just have a few drinks to relax." "After a couple of drinks, I feel more like myself." "I enjoy myself around people more with a few drinks." The common theme here is that their...
    Michaeloff55 Michaeloff55 61-65, M 4 Responses Jan 8, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    So here I go again on my own.

    ...DAY 1 I can say I probably didn't last much longer than 472 days....that was years ago and I don't quite remember exactly how the fall back into drinking occurred. it was probably my 30th birthday, I got drunk as hell that night. I'm 32 now and I won't say the past years...
    BrownEyedGirl09 BrownEyedGirl09 26-30, F 2 Responses Jan 3

    Your Response

    Cancel

    464 Days

    Sobriety, its getting a little boring now. I look around at others who enjoy a drink now and then, and think they are lucky. They can have their cake and eat it too. All I can do is remind myself of the pain my drinking caused. The havoc it reeked on my life. So I close my...
    BrownEyedGirl09 BrownEyedGirl09 26-30, F 1 Response Apr 23, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    It's been a 8 days since I've had a drink.

    In my past attempts to quit I've always had a plan, thinking that I could teach myself how to control it, obviously that hasn't worked out so well. This time is different though, I have no plan, only this, don't drink. This time I'm angry because the last time I drank I broke a...
    Dartanian Dartanian 41-45, M 1 Response Dec 20, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I never thought of myself

    as an alcoholic. I thought i could handle drinking. I did in the past. Yes I would on occasion get drunk but I was in my twenties and this did not seem like a problem. I graduated from college, worked and would occasionally go out with friends. At one time i could stop at a...
    Asheera123 Asheera123 41-45, F 6 Responses Sep 21, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Ever Heard the Exspression "Drunk As Cooter Brown"? Well I'm His Great-grandson.

        My alcoholism is not the product of an alcoholic home as a child, or a single tragic event or anything; I just ended up one.  How do I  know I'm an alcoholic? Why years of exstensive research "tieing one on" ofcourse.    ...
    LIttleRockLeo LIttleRockLeo 26-30, M 12 Responses Jul 3, 2007

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I have some experience with alcoholism.

    I thought I would add the things I encounter in my recovery here. I tend to be clinical with facts so expect information and not too much feelings. With that said, everything here is something I had to learn the hard way. ............... ................ ´╗┐Addiction...
    woolkey52 woolkey52 56-60, M Jan 10

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Woody6 Woody6 41-45, M Jan 23

    Your Response

    Cancel

    i'm a liar and drinking

    currently, i am a liar. i have two best friends who i live for, who i've never lied to, until recently. i lie to them and others, and tell them that i've gone 'straight-edge' and i haven't gotten drunk while i'm out in several months now. but it's only because i've...
    MyRedYourWall MyRedYourWall 18-21, M 43 Responses Sep 19, 2007

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Dartanian Dartanian 41-45, M 2 Responses Dec 17, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I'm a chronic relapser.

    ..and it's so exhausting. I can't stop. I wonder if I'll ever get sober.
    fight4life fight4life 31-35, F 9 Responses Jan 6

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I'm over 4 years sober!

    I don't feel like going to meetings lately! I hope that changes soon as it's good to be part of something! Sometimes I don't like all the rules either!
    angelgirl9496 angelgirl9496 22-25, F 2 Responses Jan 6

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I started drinking around 14.

    I finally got help at the beginning of this year and I was a little over a month away from being a whole year sober. Then I went to a party and got drunk. I had been beating myself up over it but that didn't help any. The only thing I can do is learn from my mistakes and move on...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Dec 20, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I'm Questioning My Decision To Stop Drinking

    I haven't had a drink for over three months, I take antabuse to keep me from drinking but I'm seriously questioning my decision to stop. It feels like my brain no longer functions as it should, everything is confused, simple decisions are too hard to make and the depression is...
    Illiteratetroll Illiteratetroll 46-50 12 Responses Oct 2, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I think I might have to give sobriety another

    try. I quit for 23 months then started drinking again and I have been drinking for about 15 months now, "trying to manage it, trying to drink socially" this rarely works for me and often times I get into trouble, **** people off, embarrass myself or worse. Why do I hold onto...
    sober79 sober79 41-45, M 1 Response Dec 20, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Tonight I had my first beer in six weeks.

    To my surprise is was easy to say no to a second one. I'm not liking the buzzy feeling. So I think it be a while before I have another, if I ever do. I don't think I'll ever drink scotch again, that would definitely be too much of a buzz.
    Dartanian Dartanian 41-45, M 1 Response Jan 22

    Your Response

    Cancel

    i am an alcoholic, today I took the decission

    to stop for good. Dear friends, please support me.
    proximous proximous 41-45, M 5 Responses Nov 1, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Wanting Drink

    I used to drink about a bottle of average wine per night.I decided I didn't like that and was suicidal/tendencies. At one point I was drinking a can of 4% lager a night-I'm a lady,but I had to have that lager.Sometimes a bit more.And more at weekends. I prayed,something clicked I...
    mysmugcat mysmugcat 41-45, F 7 Responses May 14, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Day 3, well life sure does have a way of

    testing your commitment and strength. Three days into this journey I find out that the store I've been managing for 9 months is closing. I have to tell 15 people that they are losing their jobs. Trigger I'd say yes, I would love to break out a bottle of tequila....hell smoke...
    BrownEyedGirl09 BrownEyedGirl09 26-30, F 9 Responses Jan 5

    Your Response

    Cancel

    my friends think I'm an alcoholic

    and I'm afraid that I am. Idk how to stop.
    Saradancer Saradancer 22-25, F 3 Responses Jan 22

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I've been a heavy drinker,

    a binge drinker, since I was in high school. I never learned how to drink responsibly. but i refused to say i was an 'alcoholic'. now I'm in my 30's, a sahm of 2 young kids, and I'm still drinking to excess! most recently I made a huge mistake while incredibly wasted and risked...
    jojoma28 jojoma28 31-35, F 6 Responses Dec 19, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel
    theusunghero3 theusunghero3 26-30, M 1 Response Dec 23, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Won't you take me home?

    I'm a generous lover, and I'm gentle, and though my hairline might not reflect it, I've testosterone to burn. And I've a great body for a man my age (I used to have a great body, full stop. But I still put in the effort. ) So try me out. Or buy me another drink. But I'd...
    Woody6 Woody6 41-45, M Jan 28

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My Journey To Sobriety

    I turned to alcohol after a sudden, unwanted divorce. I used it to kill the pain, and then to loosen up and have fun. Later I used it for other reasons. Seems I could always find a reason to drink. That's what we alcoholics do, we make excuses to drink. I was drinking heavily...
    Siberia1000 Siberia1000 46-50, F Jul 17, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    As I sit here and read over a few posts,

    I feel a bit compelled to reach out to those suffering. With the start of the new year, quite a few of us will be looking to make a fresh new start as we try to stave off our addictions. If you are here, you are obviously looking for help. It doesn't make you weak or less of a...
    virtusethonor virtusethonor 31-35, M Jan 26

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I can't just have one drink.

    Or even two. When I drink, I drink until I'm drunk. About 15 shots is my tolerance at this point. And it's every night. I can't stop. It's getting out of control. I do it mostly when I'm alone. Only because I just am alone a lot. I need to stop. I don't want a drinkers body, a...
    Scal92 Scal92 22-25, F 8 Responses Aug 23, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Anyone have withdrawals?

    The shakes are desperate when trying to work ... The anxiety created by your body as the alcohol leaves your system.... It's enough to put you off . Until the next night anyway
    Gladez Gladez 41-45, F 1 Response Dec 19, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I am 18+ months sober,

    and last night I went to my first meeting. Words can not describe the relief I feel this morning. I was welcomed with open arms. Listened to the speaker who made me cry, laugh & smile. Everything anyone said I UNDERSTOOD or felt in some way. I was surrounded by people JUST LIKE...
    SoberJessica SoberJessica 31-35, F 5 Responses Aug 2, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I quit drinking and now I see

    and feel everything different.. I cant cope like I did before.. I cant handle as much as I used to, I feel everything deeper and it sucks because im alone hahaha. Its funny how that happens.. you think you're surrounded by people who like you or love you and then you quit doing...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Dec 16, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I found out about A.A.

    as the result of the court system, a big "no no" in the fellowship and it wasn't about some traffic offense. I ended up in rehab and as a result of the group therapy I started to experience a total cessation of emotion and almost all thought with no identification of "me" at all...
    StarWanderer StarWanderer 56-60, M 1 Response May 4, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    The Legal Age For Drinking Is 18 Where I Live.

    I could sit here and write about 'oh what a terrible childhood I had' and I would be telling the truth, but no I am going to say... - I started drinking when I was 12 to escape my head (wasn't really that hard to get access to grog given that I had an older brother and...
    randomdriftwood randomdriftwood 18-21, F 23 Responses Apr 11, 2007

    Your Response

    Cancel
    deleted deleted 26-30 14 Responses Sep 10, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Alcholics don't drink

    because they are fine... They drink because they hurt... Trying to numb some unconscious pain that's not dealt with... Mine stems in childhood... I am very self aware, don't get me wrong. I know why I drink. I'm not oblivious to my pain. I just don't know how else to deal with...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Jul 4, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I just signed in for a rehab in England,

    to start in 3 weeks. I will be there for a minimum of 12 to 18 months. It's completely free as it is a christian sponsored one. This is good as normal rehabs are so expensive I could hardly afford a week. Now I am just waiting and killing time before I return to the UK and check...
    Searching1n Searching1n 22-25, M 24 Responses Jan 6, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I am a substance abusing alcoholic

    and I black out all the time. I hate myself for this... I have no idea why I continue this behavior of self destruction. I always think back and wonder how the **** I got home after not remembering leaving the bar I work at. And yes, to anyone reading this, I am a bartender...
    ajourneyunknown ajourneyunknown 26-30, F 5 Responses Jan 20

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I am now nine months

    and two days sober. This is the longest I've gone without drinking and I hope to make it many more years!
    deleted deleted 26-30 11 Responses Oct 6, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A week of four swims (~3K each),

    two heavy weight lifting sessions and two nights of hard drinking. My body feels broken and polluted. I can't swim today: my muscles need to recover or I'll injure myself. I'll probably end up drinking again today. It's the moment of that first sip- I can feel the tensions...
    Woody6 Woody6 41-45, M 4 Responses Jan 30

    Your Response

    Cancel

    So heaven is where I can always have another

    drink, but I'm not yet drunk and (because I'm of that age) the tasty alcohol is low-carb, and I am never actually fully drunk and never will be or face the consequences, and that cute server wants to take me home. Hell is I go home alone and the consequences arevforever.
    Woody6 Woody6 41-45, M 1 Response 16 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    deleted deleted 26-30 25 Responses Nov 4, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I hate that a lot of the Uk socialising is

    around pubs. yes they can be fun but you know. coffee shops should be open later and different healthy things and more clubs and things on later, not shut early .
    mysmugcat mysmugcat 41-45, F 8 Responses May 30, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel