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I Am An Alcoholic

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,626 People

    I went to my first AA meeting tonight.

    I did it!!! I feel positive and happy. I'll keep you updated. I loved meeting people just like me. I don't know what I expected lol .... Nice people there :)
    daisybell7 daisybell7 36-40, F 4 Responses Jul 27

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    464 Days

    Sobriety, its getting a little boring now. I look around at others who enjoy a drink now and then, and think they are lucky. They can have their cake and eat it too. All I can do is remind myself of the pain my drinking caused. The havoc it reeked on my life. So I close my...
    BrownEyedGirl09 BrownEyedGirl09 26-30, F 1 Response Apr 23, 2013

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    What drives us to drink?

    Abuse? Addictive personality? What drives you to drink? Think hard. Tell me honest answers.
    Airmech Airmech 46-50, M 8 Responses Jul 19

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    Let's make this as short

    as possible.. I started drinking in High School, every other weekend, you know. Then I went off to college where I begin staying in the dorms. Of course drinking was a huge part of the dorm life, so I was drinking every night. I then moved back to my parents house. That's when...
    TopherWhite22 TopherWhite22 22-25, M 9 Responses Dec 21, 2013

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    75 days sober. I had an emotional break down

    and thanks to a friend... Two amazing people on here. (They know who they are love love you guys) I finally realized I needed more help than just talking about it. I am practicing the first step “We admitted we were powerless over alcohol and that our lives had become...
    mysticdragonlady mysticdragonlady 36-40, F 3 Responses Sep 9

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    My Story (Warning this a very long post – not

    for the faint of heart) I have decided to put my AA story on this site; sharing my experience, strength and hope, so that I may help others who are still sick and suffering from the ravages of alcoholism. What it was like, what happened and what it is like today. I grew up in a...
    ProgressNotPerfection ProgressNotPerfection 41-45, M 5 Responses Dec 18, 2013

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    I fell off the wagon last night.

    I guess I need a strategy for the weekends that is hard for me to wriggle out of.
    wpb211 wpb211 41-45, M 2 Responses Aug 16

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    Alcoholism Through The Years

    I grew up drinking beers and with my family since about 10. I did not start drinking around -the -clock 1/2 gallons of liquor until I was about 18. As im typing this right now, I sweat and can't even think clear. I've been to 2 rehabs and must have tried detox atleast 20 times. I...
    deleted deleted 26-30 16 Responses Jun 5, 2011

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    Still Battling It....

    I'm an alcoholic. That's a fact. I'd like to say a 'reformed' alcoholic, but are we ever ? I don't think so. I think once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic, even if you don't drink anymore. That's just a part of what we are, a shadow that'll follow us forever. I've been...
    cleozabu19 cleozabu19 26-30, F 83 Responses Apr 7, 2008

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    Does Anxiety Cause Alcoholism?

    Very common phrases you hear from Alcoholics are: "I can't get comfortable inside my own skin." "I just have a few drinks to relax." "After a couple of drinks, I feel more like myself." "I enjoy myself around people more with a few drinks." The common theme here is that their...
    Michaeloff55 Michaeloff55 61-65, M 4 Responses Jan 8, 2011

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    I am on a relapse right now

    and it's horrible. I even went last week to the doctor to get detox medications. So I could sober up while they find a placement for me for treatment. It only lasted a few days and I am taking pills too. Such a hangover from the pills. I am drinking my mom's chardonnay right now...
    MollyVonFrankenstein MollyVonFrankenstein 31-35, F 6 Responses Aug 27

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    I am twenty five years old

    and struggling with a drinking problem. I don't drink everyday or even every week, but when I do drink, I binge drink. This Saturday I jumped out of a moving cab because I couldn't stop drunkenly fighting with a cab driver. This kind if behavior is dangerous and it scares me. I...
    bringmefire26 bringmefire26 22-25, F 5 Responses Sep 8

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    The Legal Age For Drinking Is 18 Where I Live.

    I could sit here and write about 'oh what a terrible childhood I had' and I would be telling the truth, but no I am going to say... - I started drinking when I was 12 to escape my head (wasn't really that hard to get access to grog given that I had an older brother and...
    randomdriftwood randomdriftwood 21-25, F 24 Responses Apr 11, 2007

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    I'm glad I found this site.

    I am currently a closet (actually, a garage) drinker. I fall off my wagon about once a week. I've gone as long as three weeks. I am currently on day three of sober. Sigh. I'm hoping to use this site to help me gain some momentum.
    wpb211 wpb211 41-45, M 5 Responses Aug 12

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    I'm an alcoholic. I just.

    ..felt the need to say that and don't know how to feel now that I've said that. Oh boy.
    Lucile199 Lucile199 18-21, F 2 Responses Aug 17

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    I've been drinking for years now

    and I'm only 21. I told myself I was going to quit, it only lasted maybe a couple months at the most. Sometimes it's not so bad, other times it's all I want to do. Like right now, I'm drinking as I type. People don't approve of me drinking, and as much as I hate to admit, I'll...
    brandijade92 brandijade92 18-21, F 6 Responses Aug 21

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    It's been 8 weeks and one day.

    I've never been sober this long. My BF asked me when was the last time I was sober this long. I was like maybe high school? That's sick... I remember a didn't drink for a month it just once a week or twice. I rarely ever went a month. The fog has completely disappeared...
    mysticdragonlady mysticdragonlady 36-40, F 6 Responses Jun 19

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    ......and I hate the man

    that I am when I am sober. Everyone else hates the man I am when I am drunk.
    spectre6 spectre6 31-35, M 4 Responses Sep 21

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    I have single handedly hosed my life down my

    throat with booze and pissed it all away.
    Awakening29 Awakening29 26-30, F 3 Responses Jul 19

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    I found out about A.A.

    as the result of the court system, a big "no no" in the fellowship and it wasn't about some traffic offense. I ended up in rehab and as a result of the group therapy I started to experience a total cessation of emotion and almost all thought with no identification of "me" at all...
    StarWanderer StarWanderer 56-60, M 1 Response May 4

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    Confessions Of An Alcoholic

    That last cup of poison made me disappear and the darkness took over. The hand reaches to the bottle and fills the cup the bottom of the glass seem to come really quickly..the darkness gets stronger and i'm getting further and further away,. it loses i'ts temper to the person i...
    saramarie77 saramarie77 18-21, F 6 Responses Sep 28, 2012

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    I'm back here unfortunately.

    I can't stop drinking. I'm scared too at this point. The withdrawals make me feel like I'm going to die. When I wake up I take a shot just to stop the shakes and panic attacks. I've been to the hospital 3 times this month for withdrawals and I don't want to end up going back...
    TopherWhite22 TopherWhite22 22-25, M 5 Responses Aug 24

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    My Journey To Sobriety

    I turned to alcohol after a sudden, unwanted divorce. I used it to kill the pain, and then to loosen up and have fun. Later I used it for other reasons. Seems I could always find a reason to drink. That's what we alcoholics do, we make excuses to drink. I was drinking heavily...
    Siberia1000 Siberia1000 46-50, F 1 Response Jul 17, 2013

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    Ever Heard the Exspression "Drunk As Cooter Brown"? Well I'm His Great-grandson.

        My alcoholism is not the product of an alcoholic home as a child, or a single tragic event or anything; I just ended up one.  How do I  know I'm an alcoholic? Why years of exstensive research "tieing one on" ofcourse.    ...
    LIttleRockLeo LIttleRockLeo 26-30, M 12 Responses Jul 3, 2007

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    I am. I cant stop myself from drinking.

    Every time, I stare at my first beer and think " I shouldn't", but I do. It doesn't help that people around me encourage drinking. I wake up each night not knowing what exactly happened. Its a horrible feeling. I try to remember what I did, who I said something bad too, where I...
    IrMe IrMe 26-30, M 2 Responses 5 days ago

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    Revelation

    It just hit me like a ton of bricks. I figured out why I hate AA so much. I don't want to belong to a club, that would have me for a member.
    Lilt Lilt 46-50 28 Responses Jun 4, 2013

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    7:50 PM Drank. 9:30 PM Drunk.

    You know you are an alcoholic when: Under the influence of alcohol you ride your motorcycle through the dead of night.....to the tiny town of Morrison. And steal their only road sign. And wake up the next morning to discover it has been nailed to your bedroom wall....next to a...
    Vetrov Vetrov 51-55, M 8 Responses Nov 30, 2013

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    Self Medicating?

    It all started with blackberry brandy. I had barely learned to speak, but I had already learned that a lot of fussing and crying would result in a shot or two of black berry brandy. My grandmother had custody of me at the time, and black berry brandy was the cure for everything...
    puck61 puck61 51-55, M 15 Responses Jun 11, 2013

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    When You Know You Can't Go Back Home

    I turned 15 years old the month before the Thanksgiving Day of that year and had been living on the streets since the previous April when my father, drunk, drove a knife into my leg and tossed me out of the house where I lived with him, my mother and nine brothers and sisters. I...
    cmmacneil cmmacneil 51-55, M 7 Responses Feb 3, 2013

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    It is a constant battle to keep the emotions

    and old memories in check. Also not to drink too..
    Airmech Airmech 46-50, M 3 Responses Jul 19

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    I'll Probably Delete This Tomorrow. So Message Me Soon If You Want To Help.

    I'm 24. Been drinking heavy almost every night since I was 18. I'm in a bad place mentally. Talk to me if you have advice or experience. Thanks in advance. edit update 12/9/2012 : Major breakthrough people. I've taken a week off completely. I've been doing 5-7 day stretches of...
    Trillmatic Trillmatic 22-25, M 17 Responses Oct 20, 2012

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    Connections

    I need to know something and I am wondering if anyone who reads this could help me. Even before you became an alcoholic, were you a messy or unorganized person? Or both? Thank you in advance :)
    thegodchick thegodchick 36-40, F 16 Responses Oct 22, 2013

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    molde molde 31-35, M 4 Responses Jul 16

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    If I don't stop drinking I am going to lose the

    best person I have ever had in my life, day 2! I have made it 3 months before but something always happens that makes me drink again, I have to get this under control!
    gina2440 gina2440 31-35, F 3 Responses Aug 12

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    Hi my name is sara and im an alcoholic.

    "I got my first taste of alcohol when I was a tot – my mum used to give me whisky or scotch in warm milk to help me sleep when i was in ireland. She was a big drinker, a binge drinker. At the age of 7 I had my first proper drink. At this stage i was in a total new country and...
    stormykiwi stormykiwi 22-25, F 5 Responses Apr 16

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    I always wonder if people really believe me

    when they ask and I tell them, "It happens when I drink too much coffe." I'm always nervous to hold paper around anyone who's noticed and asked. Have they noticed that I never drink coffee?
    lovelyss lovelyss 22-25, F 2 Responses Aug 11

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    spark69 spark69 18-21, M 1 Response Aug 15

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    Trouble Ahead

    I take antabuse to stop me from drinking. It's worked for me for the last 17 months, it was my last resort and it worked. Snag is now my blood test has come back wonky, I have to have the test repeated on Monday in the hopes it's just a blip, if it's not I have to stop taking the...
    Illiteratetroll Illiteratetroll 46-50 15 Responses Oct 26, 2013

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    I am 18+ months sober,

    and last night I went to my first meeting. Words can not describe the relief I feel this morning. I was welcomed with open arms. Listened to the speaker who made me cry, laugh & smile. Everything anyone said I UNDERSTOOD or felt in some way. I was surrounded by people JUST LIKE...
    SoberJessica SoberJessica 31-35, F 5 Responses Aug 2

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    Getting better without booze.

    Will I continue to stay sober for the next several months? I don't know. But it's been 2 weeks now without alcohol and it certainly feels like a losing battle won. There is hope to lead a normal life. May sound abnormal to sober people but normal life is privilege to alcoholics
    molde molde 31-35, M 2 Responses Jul 24

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    i'm a liar and drinking

    currently, i am a liar. i have two best friends who i live for, who i've never lied to, until recently. i lie to them and others, and tell them that i've gone 'straight-edge' and i haven't gotten drunk while i'm out in several months now. but it's only because i've...
    MyRedYourWall MyRedYourWall 21-25, M 45 Responses Sep 19, 2007

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    Today is 44 days of sobriety.

    The longest I've managed in 20 years (I'm 35 so do the math) I never took it seriously enough in the past. This has become a challenge interspersed with a personal mission/struggle. I finally watched the Bill W movie. It's on YouTube. I never realized just how serious the...
    wonderessa wonderessa 31-35, F 1 Response Jul 20

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    I realized I was an alcoholic my sophomore year

    of college. I never went a day without drinking. I drank throughout the day and at night. I was partying, but only went for the alcohol. I started drinking young, but it was never a problem. Not until... anyways, after that I started drinking every day. I drank at school. I...
    Elysion Elysion 22-25, F 2 Responses Jun 26

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    9 weeks and 2 days. Had a major breakdown today

    emotionally. But, I'm still sober and who really gives a ****. No body gives you an award... In fact most people want to run away. Those friends you've gone above and beyond to help... Gone.. Don't matter what you've done for them. I've never been sober this long. Just like my...
    mysticdragonlady mysticdragonlady 36-40, F 6 Responses Aug 30

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    One Step At A Time

    I know what its like to break the denial and admit your are an alcoholic after suffering this horrible disease for many years.  I suggest  you remind your self that you are not a bad  person trying to be good, you are a sick person trying to get well. Also remember if you dont...
    LUKEIT LUKEIT 41-45, M 5 Responses May 19, 2012

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    I Will Never Drink Again!!

    Now that I have been diagnosed with Stage 3 Inflammatory Breast Cancer, the very thought of picking up a drink is repulsive. Why would I pick up poison?  What did I see in it in the first place?  Oh sure, it gave me temporary relief from my constant barrage of negative...
    lagatta lagatta 41-45, F 64 Responses Jan 3, 2013

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    I'm Questioning My Decision To Stop Drinking

    I haven't had a drink for over three months, I take antabuse to keep me from drinking but I'm seriously questioning my decision to stop. It feels like my brain no longer functions as it should, everything is confused, simple decisions are too hard to make and the depression is...
    Illiteratetroll Illiteratetroll 46-50 12 Responses Oct 2, 2012

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    I am 7 yrs sober. Sometimes i drink a bottle of

    beer for certain holidays but only while there are people around me. I always have the urge to drink but managed to control it by focusing on other things. Is it true about what they say that once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic?
    Yersparky Yersparky 31-35, M 6 Responses Jul 27

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    Been a few months now at least.

    I don't count days, I don't care for that. I'm sober. Not much to share about it. Just wanted to share.
    Airmech Airmech 46-50, M 3 Responses Sep 8

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    i think im an alcoholic - i drink

    as early as 8 in the morning, not all the time. Usually i will start after lunch. I drink between 8-12+ units a day. Every day i wake u and say yesterday was the last - but - im not sure how to stop.
    blondeandblue blondeandblue 31-35, F 2 Responses Aug 12

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    All I ever want to do is drink.

    I'm shy unless I'm drunk. I'm depressed unless I'm drunk. I've gotten kicked out of high school, had many legal problems, and family problems. All of which are alcohol related.
    guitarmike guitarmike 22-25, M 8 Responses Dec 23, 2013

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    I Know that I am an alcoholic.

    I know that. I want to give up but I can't. I'm very tired of keeping this secret. But I'm afraid of stopping. I'm 22 and don't want to miss out. But I don't know what to do.
    nautistar10 nautistar10 22-25, F 1 Response Aug 18

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    I don't recall what day I quit

    but it's been more than 2 weeks of sober life. What goes in my head now? The way I was screwing up everything. And I ask myself..why did I do what I did. No answer. Recovery is a long process here.
    molde molde 31-35, M 5 Responses Jul 29

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