I Am An Alcoholic Forum & Chat Board | alcoholic w/o 'god'

i simply dont 'get it' nor do i want to. the whole idea that a HP is going to save me and steps, meetings etc is the only answer has proven itself a self serving entity. i drank out of fun, boredom, community til i drank to stave off withdrawel. after years of wanting nothing to do with a corrupt, misguided world, i drank as an form of frustration and defiance. yes im an alcoholic in that my body/mind has the 'no off' switch. when i drink, i don't get violent or hurt people. i am days shy of 9 months sober and my aa friends are guarded and share little of their lives outside of the meetings. my drinking friends ive known for years are most welcoming, offer me into their lives and homes. they, to, don't hurt others and are able to be productive, though most are the hard drinking or binge variety. im not. i drink, live, love and laugh. all with a beer at hand. i feel trapped in the middle of two worlds. i want the old life of creative drive and artistic community as well as the ability to not feel apathetic boredom i find in sobriety and sober people.

 

Hi. I agree with everything you say. All my friends drink and its very hard to stay sober for long without being a loner. 9 months is a long time. Keep it up mate.

 

We must learn how to have fun without drinking, I think thats the hardest part of becoming sober.

 

We must learn how to have fun without drinking, I think thats the hardest part of becoming sober.

 

The problem with us is that we can not do it. 

Just like I can not fix the plumbing in my house.  I am ****** at playing the guitar.  I can sort-of ride a horse.  I am a crappy singer but I still like to sing.  I can have fun riding a horse, playing my music and helping out with the plumbing.   My performance in all of those areas will be sub-par at best but I can still have fun. 

Now, replace each one of those activities with drinking. 

I see nothing wrong with drinking for fun so long as it is controlled of course.  So, in principle, the OP is asking for something normal. The difference with drinking is that it is dangerous when we are doing it.  Plumbing, guitaring, horse-back riding and singing are fun activities but there is no risk when you fail at them. 

As alcoholics, drinking for fun is more analogous to racing motorcycles and mountain climbing for fun.  We are ****** at them and that will kill us.