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I Am An Asshole

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 123 People

    Today At Work

    I don't know if you know me, as I haven't posted in a while. I put this story in this experience to minimize the probability that someone would read it who didn't want to. I basically had a bad day at work. It was like people decided to stop tolerating the a$$hole and...
    deleted deleted 26-30 May 30, 2008

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    Amen. I'm A *****!

    Don't Know If Being A Scorpio Doubles My Potency. Like The Name ********!
    Miseree Miseree 36-40, M Jan 4, 2010

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    Yea I Am An *******

    Stuff I've said and responses I've given to help declare my assholishness! Her: And so I said "My vagina is NOT a motel!" Me: Soo....it's a 6 or 12-month lease, then? K: "Wow so nothing happened between you two the other night? I figured ya'll'd make a cute...
    dedre dedre 31-35, M 4 Responses Apr 14, 2009

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    "i Walk Around In The Summertime Saying How About This Heat"

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=krxBDYwy6Ws http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sea/26190375.html I am the farter in meetings.
    SirMugatu SirMugatu 22-25, M Sep 10, 2011

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    Being An ***

    The best is when you someone ****** you off and they know they have.  You turn around and give them some hole and then you become more of an ******* than  you really are.  
    ttmsaikaley ttmsaikaley 31-35 Dec 25, 2008

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    anhonestmouse anhonestmouse 31-35, F Dec 20, 2013

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    Why I Don't Talk to Anyone

    I didn't quite know in which experience to put this story. I decided that what explained everything is that I'm an a$$hole, so here it is... I don't talk very much at work. There are two reasons: one is that I will sooner or later say something stupid and end with my foot in...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Feb 27, 2008

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    Nemesis

    My nemesis are righteous people. I was going to put this story under "I have a mental illness", but then I thought that it was unlikely that I misinterpreted things. My misdeeds start to follow me (I'm not quite ready to write about it in this forum). This old man...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Feb 1, 2008

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    I'm An *******

    in recent years i've systematically lost all common sense and i'm at a point in my life where i'm an *******. to be politically correct you would rather call me a cynic. but let's stick to ******* ... it's a word most people understand. i've slowly but surely gave up all...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Jul 9, 2013

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    Its The New Me

    No longer a nice guy, am an ******* to most people now and I do not discriminate. Race, sex, age do not matter to me. Don't like it? **** you.
    Krie Krie 22-25, M Dec 30, 2010

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    *******'s Side of the Story Continued

    In my first post yesterday I was angry, as I am most of the time, so the story was one-sided to say the least. To be fair, most of the people are decent to me most of the time. If I wasn't such a pessimist, I wouldn't complain so much. I am fond of saying that even the worst...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Dec 15, 2007

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    I'm the best kind of *******.

    .. A funny *******!
    eatthekids1stplease eatthekids1stplease 18-21, M Jun 20

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    Too Proud to Mince Words.

    I'm an *******, and damn proud of it. I'm a smart ***, fouled mouthed SOB, and if you don't like it, **** OFF.  I don't appreciate bull **** or people kissing my ***, and I would much rather be told that I ****** up than have someone molly coddle me, and I treat people like...
    Satsujinkyou Satsujinkyou 26-30, M 1 Response Mar 19, 2008

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    'fraid So

    Denis Leary used to sing "I'm an *******" in one of his sketches. A riot. He also did a skit on smoking, loved it. I am an ******* because I've practiced so hard it would be a disappointment and a waste of effort not to be one.
    stevester stevester 46-50, M 6 Responses Oct 9, 2009

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    Lick my ******* girls!

    !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;)
    Leo102283883 Leo102283883 13-15, M Dec 21, 2013

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    I Rip Off People On Ebay

    i lie to people about the quality of my products and when they complain i make them look bad! How funny am i?
    javedhussainrajaa javedhussainrajaa 51-55 Jul 26, 2008

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    Just a Joke...

    I have a couple jokes like this and I just felt like putting this one out there. hehehe... "Just because you have an as*hole, doesn't mean you have to be one."  ;D
    vinividivici21 vinividivici21 22-25, F 5 Responses Aug 5, 2008

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    Idiots

    It all started when that leach ex of mine drained out my good blood and replaced it with raging hot frustration.  I became an *******.  Now i'm with this other girl and she's starting to make some leeway but beyond that i think i will always be an *******. ...
    MonteCarlo311 MonteCarlo311 26-30, M Dec 10, 2008

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    You Don't Like It, Too Bad

    I've had people pissed with me for being a ****, and ***, a jerk, cold, whatever have you. As if I had no right to be one; like my whole life has been nothing but sweet fragrances and pretty pastures. And the kicker is that some of these very people also act like ***** and...
    JollyDevittaRoger JollyDevittaRoger 22-25, M 2 Responses Jul 16, 2011

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    Strange

    Despite what the old man told me and having made my confession (it's in another story today), thereby risking to lose whatever small amount of sympathy I may have gained in EP these two months, I didn't feel bad for long. I just don't feel like thinking about what an a$$hole I...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Feb 1, 2008

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    Pretty positive a few people on this site,

    at least, have seen this side of me. It's fun.
    Raneth Raneth 16-17, F 2 Responses Jan 23

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    The girl that I'm in love with hates me.

    The sad thing is its my fault I hurt what I need but cant have.
    SorrowInABottle SorrowInABottle 13-15, F May 30

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    Why Lord, Why

    i hurt people not realising it and i apparently get upset over it i dont have a single clue as of what im doing with my whole life i apologize personally for all those who have been stabbed by my comments i know nobody will read this, but why lord, why why do u make me do this...
    aSchizophrenic aSchizophrenic 18-21, M 2 Responses Mar 22, 2012

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    The power of a smile

    Yesterday, I was helping a girl from work with some merchandise. She later smiled at me. It was a beautiful, full smile, and it was all mine: a gift for the poor. And then something funny happened. I started almost unconsciously to be especially helpful to all the customers...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Dec 17, 2007

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    That I Am.

    I may not be the biggest or brownest but I can say in all honesty that I am an ******* to an extent.
    CuteInChaos CuteInChaos 18-21, F May 25, 2011

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    ag123 ag123 41-45 21 Responses Dec 9, 2008

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    A Peek At the Dark Side

    Unconsciously, I may be painting a positive picture of me. To be honest, I will also include a couple of experiences that happened yesterday only that show that I am a bone fide *******. Not that it is really necessary, enough of myself has shown through in my previous posts LOL...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Dec 18, 2007

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    I Am An *******.

    sometimes i have to be, sometimes its the only way to protect yourself from feeling other things you dont want to feel, that and, im just an ***.
    deleted deleted 26-30 Jul 27, 2010

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    Not Much Sleep

    Every morning I get woken by **** passing through me. Not much sleep either, as farts keep me awake at night.
    Urinalboy Urinalboy 22-25, M 2 Responses Mar 6, 2013

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    Im Sorry But Some Women Just Ask For It

    On the phone, girl tries to "guilt me" or whatever. We are talking about her leaving work early which she never does and then she started saying how I could have hung out with her yesterday or tonight even. She said, "You never wanna hang out with me."...
    Silver01ta Silver01ta 31-35, M 10 Responses Mar 25, 2008

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    acquiredtaste acquiredtaste 26-30, F 2 Responses May 6

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    Hmmm............

    "You can screw a a*hole you know. LOL. Okay. Sorry that was sick joke." Ya all know what I mean.   Yeah. I'm a a*hole sometimes too. whatever. People lighted up. I'm poking fun  at myself. No harm in that. Right?    
    mother1983 mother1983 26-30, F 6 Responses Aug 5, 2008

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    I have kicked four kids ***** this week

    for "trying"to hit and kick me and harassing my girlfriend. I guess I'm Hank Hill "I'm gonna kick your ***".
    countryboy408 countryboy408 13-15, M 1 Response Feb 20

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    :)

    I'm an ******* & anyone who hangs out with me knows it. Only reason I can get away with it is because I'm a girl & can act cute β˜ΊπŸŽ€
    DeletednGone DeletednGone 18-21, F Nov 6, 2013

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    The *******'s Side of the Story

    I am an *******. There's no escaping this. I could take a constructive attitude about it, like "I am an ******* and proud of it", or maybe look at it humorously, but I haven't gotten to that stage. Being an ******* is a drag. I don't try to get near anyone, as I know...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Dec 14, 2007

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    I do know that for sure,

    and no I won't make my story longer, cause I am an *******
    bigmisterdarkness bigmisterdarkness 31-35, M Oct 8

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    But I Can Change

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=79S_TDP4JKc ... :D
    Krie Krie 22-25, M Feb 24, 2012

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    I've often considered the world

    as a manifestation of god, nature, much like our own anatomy, the many entities make up the universe.I've recently decided that life is just ****.We are turds and God is an *******.We're all 'made in God's image', so we're all ********, too,full of ****.When people talk, I'd...
    PulsingUlcer PulsingUlcer 18-21, M Jan 30

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    *** Hole By Choise

    I don't know what all this bullshit about women liking nice men is all about, but I'm not buying it. You may hurt someone's little feelings, but you get **** done. You get walked all of when you are kind and polite and try to be nice. You also become "like a brother" that she...
    ReadingCompanion ReadingCompanion 31-35, M 2 Responses Nov 10, 2011

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    I'm an ******* sometimes,

    mostly to certain girls and stupid people.... Can't help it sometimes
    thedarkchocolate thedarkchocolate 26-30, M May 21

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    A Very "un-*******" Thought To Occur To Me.

    My dad, earlier this year during a visit of mine, was concerned over my hatred of people in general (as my mum explained it to him succinctly)...I had to explain to him that essentially "It's not that I hate all people, I just hate people, there's too many that aren't worth my...
    dedre dedre 31-35, M 1 Response Sep 12, 2012

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    Related Experiences

    My boyfriend joined EP and now I feel invaded.. First off those were my experiences.. And second he confronts me on all of them even if they were random thoughts.. What an...
    g1800 g1800 41-45, F 3 Responses Oct 12

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    A man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for dinner. Both he and his wife decide that they won't tell the kids what kind of meat it is, but will give them a clue and let them...
    akaShaun akaShaun 16-17, M 53 mins ago

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    I don't even want to call him my ******* father anymore. He's just a ******* ******* all the time. He's part of the reason of why I can't live my life without fear or depression...
    WhySufferxx WhySufferxx 13-15, M 4 Responses Sep 29

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    When I first met the roommate I am having problems with he seemed odd, weird even. When he started playing my Dragon Age game I found out exactly how weird. He turned into an...
    Zer0Sniper Zer0Sniper 22-25, M Oct 2

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    Recently, I've been thinking about my high school graduation. Every time I think about that day, I think about the 5 years of high school I suffered through. I think of how happy...
    AgentSickler AgentSickler 18-21, M 2 Responses Oct 5

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    I've always been a sweet heart but certain girls showed me reality and now I'm less patient with relationships. I know not all girls are the same, but it just becomes harder the...
    elementnov elementnov 22-25, M 4 Responses Sep 25

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    Annie:"Get your head out of your *******, in fact, out of her *******, which I'm sure is perfectly bleached!" From Bridesmaids
    SlothQueen SlothQueen 16-17, F 1 Response Oct 2

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    I was 13, no guy payed attention to me, I was too innocent in my opinion, then I started talkig to this really good looking guy that I met on xbox, he was being so so so so nice...
    victoriaalvarez victoriaalvarez 13-15, F 2 Responses Oct 2

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    Ok, I admit it, sometimes I am just an *******! lol ExAP has been crying to me a lot here lately about feeling so stuck and helpless in his situation; and I keep telling him the...
    dropdeadredhead dropdeadredhead 36-40, F Oct 6

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    So I added a older gentleman dancardillo50 to my circle after he added me I sent him a polite message asking hi would you like to chat, and he replys WHAT DO U THINK IM HERE FOR...
    SecretDesiress SecretDesiress 41-45, F 13 Responses Oct 9

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    I enjoy smoking weed from time to time, but...anyone know anyone who is too involved with it, for the worse? I know there have been studies done that prove you cannot become...
    PerspectiveDetective PerspectiveDetective 22-25, F 4 Responses Sep 20

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