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I Am An Asshole

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 121 People

    *** Hole By Choise

    I don't know what all this bullshit about women liking nice men is all about, but I'm not buying it. You may hurt someone's little feelings, but you get **** done. You get walked all of when you are kind and polite and try to be nice. You also become "like a brother" that she...
    ReadingCompanion ReadingCompanion
    31-35, M
    2 Responses Nov 10, 2011

    Being An ***

    The best is when you someone ****** you off and they know they have.  You turn around and give them some hole and then you become more of an ******* than  you really are.  
    ttmsaikaley ttmsaikaley
    Dec 25, 2008


    My nemesis are righteous people. I was going to put this story under "I have a mental illness", but then I thought that it was unlikely that I misinterpreted things. My misdeeds start to follow me (I'm not quite ready to write about it in this forum). This old man...
    deleted deleted
    1 Response Feb 1, 2008

    I Rip Off People On Ebay

    i lie to people about the quality of my products and when they complain i make them look bad! How funny am i?
    javedhussainrajaa javedhussainrajaa
    Jul 26, 2008

    I'm the best kind of *******.

    .. A funny *******!
    deleted deleted
    Jun 20, 2014


    Despite what the old man told me and having made my confession (it's in another story today), thereby risking to lose whatever small amount of sympathy I may have gained in EP these two months, I didn't feel bad for long. I just don't feel like thinking about what an a$$hole I...
    deleted deleted
    Feb 1, 2008

    That I Am.

    I may not be the biggest or brownest but I can say in all honesty that I am an ******* to an extent.
    CuteInChaos CuteInChaos
    18-21, F
    May 25, 2011

    Damn Straight I am a firm believer in the

    "call it like it is" doctrine. I do not like how society has made up a host of pretty words for practices and personalities, just because a few people are easily offended. ***** want to be called free-spirited, perverts was to be called open-minded, cynical defeatists want to...
    Contentio Contentio
    18-21, M
    2 Responses Feb 9, 2015

    Its The New Me

    No longer a nice guy, am an ******* to most people now and I do not discriminate. Race, sex, age do not matter to me. Don't like it? **** you.
    Krie Krie
    Dec 30, 2010

    The *******'s Side of the Story

    I am an *******. There's no escaping this. I could take a constructive attitude about it, like "I am an ******* and proud of it", or maybe look at it humorously, but I haven't gotten to that stage. Being an ******* is a drag. I don't try to get near anyone, as I know...
    deleted deleted
    1 Response Dec 14, 2007

    I'm An *******

    in recent years i've systematically lost all common sense and i'm at a point in my life where i'm an *******. to be politically correct you would rather call me a cynic. but let's stick to ******* ... it's a word most people understand. i've slowly but surely gave up all...
    deleted deleted
    2 Responses Jul 9, 2013

    *******'s Side of the Story Continued

    In my first post yesterday I was angry, as I am most of the time, so the story was one-sided to say the least. To be fair, most of the people are decent to me most of the time. If I wasn't such a pessimist, I wouldn't complain so much. I am fond of saying that even the worst...
    deleted deleted
    Dec 15, 2007
    ag123 ag123
    20 Responses Dec 9, 2008

    A Peek At the Dark Side

    Unconsciously, I may be painting a positive picture of me. To be honest, I will also include a couple of experiences that happened yesterday only that show that I am a bone fide *******. Not that it is really necessary, enough of myself has shown through in my previous posts LOL...
    deleted deleted
    Dec 18, 2007

    'fraid So

    Denis Leary used to sing "I'm an *******" in one of his sketches. A riot. He also did a skit on smoking, loved it. I am an ******* because I've practiced so hard it would be a disappointment and a waste of effort not to be one.
    stevester stevester
    46-50, M
    6 Responses Oct 9, 2009

    You Don't Like It, Too Bad

    I've had people pissed with me for being a ****, and ***, a jerk, cold, whatever have you. As if I had no right to be one; like my whole life has been nothing but sweet fragrances and pretty pastures. And the kicker is that some of these very people also act like ***** and...
    JollyDevittaRoger JollyDevittaRoger
    22-25, M
    2 Responses Jul 16, 2011

    I do know that for sure,

    and no I won't make my story longer, cause I am an *******
    bigmisterdarkness bigmisterdarkness
    31-35, M
    Oct 8, 2014

    Not Much Sleep

    Every morning I get woken by **** passing through me. Not much sleep either, as farts keep me awake at night.
    Urinalboy1993iLoveiChannelMe Urinalboy1993iLoveiChannelMe
    22-25, M
    1 Response Mar 6, 2013

    But I Can Change ... :D
    Krie Krie
    Feb 24, 2012

    All plucked up chicken like crazy

    and stuffed. Always looking crazy, maybe I am. mhm Bat **** made urban legend mascara lash wearing with bells on kind too. Im a crackpot juggernaut who just so happens to pack a wallop inside the rankings of Babylon. Damn straight, I'm a don't **** me off *****. dont have a...
    LadyGallivanter LadyGallivanter
    4 Responses Aug 6, 2015

    Too Proud to Mince Words.

    I'm an *******, and damn proud of it. I'm a smart ***, fouled mouthed SOB, and if you don't like it, **** OFF.  I don't appreciate bull **** or people kissing my ***, and I would much rather be told that I ****** up than have someone molly coddle me, and I treat people like...
    Satsujinkyou Satsujinkyou
    31-35, M
    1 Response Mar 19, 2008

    Why Lord, Why

    i hurt people not realising it and i apparently get upset over it i dont have a single clue as of what im doing with my whole life i apologize personally for all those who have been stabbed by my comments i know nobody will read this, but why lord, why why do u make me do this...
    aSchizophrenic aSchizophrenic
    18-21, M
    1 Response Mar 22, 2012
    anhonestmouse anhonestmouse
    31-35, F
    Dec 20, 2013


    I'm an ******* & anyone who hangs out with me knows it. Only reason I can get away with it is because I'm a girl & can act cute β˜ΊπŸŽ€
    DeletednGone DeletednGone
    22-25, F
    1 Response Nov 6, 2013

    Amen. I'm A *****!

    Don't Know If Being A Scorpio Doubles My Potency. Like The Name ********!
    Miseree Miseree
    36-40, M
    Jan 4, 2010

    A Very "un-*******" Thought To Occur To Me.

    My dad, earlier this year during a visit of mine, was concerned over my hatred of people in general (as my mum explained it to him succinctly)...I had to explain to him that essentially "It's not that I hate all people, I just hate people, there's too many that aren't worth my...
    dedre dedre
    31-35, M
    1 Response Sep 12, 2012

    I Am An *******.

    sometimes i have to be, sometimes its the only way to protect yourself from feeling other things you dont want to feel, that and, im just an ***.
    deleted deleted
    Jul 27, 2010

    I've often considered the world

    as a manifestation of god, nature, much like our own anatomy, the many entities make up the universe.I've recently decided that life is just ****.We are turds and God is an *******.We're all 'made in God's image', so we're all ********, too,full of ****.When people talk, I'd...
    PulsingUlcer PulsingUlcer
    22-25, M
    Jan 30, 2014

    The power of a smile

    Yesterday, I was helping a girl from work with some merchandise. She later smiled at me. It was a beautiful, full smile, and it was all mine: a gift for the poor. And then something funny happened. I started almost unconsciously to be especially helpful to all the customers...
    deleted deleted
    Dec 17, 2007

    Just a Joke...

    I have a couple jokes like this and I just felt like putting this one out there. hehehe... "Just because you have an as*hole, doesn't mean you have to be one."  ;D
    vinividivici21 vinividivici21
    22-25, F
    3 Responses Aug 5, 2008

    "i Walk Around In The Summertime Saying How About This Heat" I am the farter in meetings.
    SirMugatu SirMugatu
    22-25, M
    Sep 10, 2011

    Yea I Am An *******

    Stuff I've said and responses I've given to help declare my assholishness! Her: And so I said "My vagina is NOT a motel!" Me:'s a 6 or 12-month lease, then? K: "Wow so nothing happened between you two the other night? I figured ya'll'd make a cute...
    dedre dedre
    31-35, M
    2 Responses Apr 14, 2009

    Why I Don't Talk to Anyone

    I didn't quite know in which experience to put this story. I decided that what explained everything is that I'm an a$$hole, so here it is... I don't talk very much at work. There are two reasons: one is that I will sooner or later say something stupid and end with my foot in...
    deleted deleted
    Feb 27, 2008

    Today At Work

    I don't know if you know me, as I haven't posted in a while. I put this story in this experience to minimize the probability that someone would read it who didn't want to. I basically had a bad day at work. It was like people decided to stop tolerating the a$$hole and...
    deleted deleted
    May 30, 2008

    Im Sorry But Some Women Just Ask For It

    On the phone, girl tries to "guilt me" or whatever. We are talking about her leaving work early which she never does and then she started saying how I could have hung out with her yesterday or tonight even. She said, "You never wanna hang out with me."...
    Silver01ta Silver01ta
    36-40, M
    11 Responses Mar 25, 2008
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