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I Am An Asshole

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 109 People

    'fraid So

    Denis Leary used to sing "I'm an *******" in one of his sketches. A riot. He also did a skit on smoking, loved it. I am an ******* because I've practiced so hard it would be a disappointment and a waste of effort not to be one.
    stevester stevester 46-50, M 6 Responses Oct 9, 2009

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    *******'s Side of the Story Continued

    In my first post yesterday I was angry, as I am most of the time, so the story was one-sided to say the least. To be fair, most of the people are decent to me most of the time. If I wasn't such a pessimist, I wouldn't complain so much. I am fond of saying that even the worst...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Dec 15, 2007

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    Just a Joke...

    I have a couple jokes like this and I just felt like putting this one out there. hehehe... "Just because you have an as*hole, doesn't mean you have to be one."  ;D
    vinividivici21 vinividivici21 22-25, F 5 Responses Aug 5, 2008

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    The power of a smile

    Yesterday, I was helping a girl from work with some merchandise. She later smiled at me. It was a beautiful, full smile, and it was all mine: a gift for the poor. And then something funny happened. I started almost unconsciously to be especially helpful to all the customers...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Dec 17, 2007

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    :)

    I'm an ******* & anyone who hangs out with me knows it. Only reason I can get away with it is because I'm a girl & can act cute ☺🎀
    DeletednGone DeletednGone 18-21, F Nov 6, 2013

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    A Peek At the Dark Side

    Unconsciously, I may be painting a positive picture of me. To be honest, I will also include a couple of experiences that happened yesterday only that show that I am a bone fide *******. Not that it is really necessary, enough of myself has shown through in my previous posts LOL...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Dec 18, 2007

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    I Rip Off People On Ebay

    i lie to people about the quality of my products and when they complain i make them look bad! How funny am i?
    javedhussainrajaa javedhussainrajaa 51-55 Jul 26, 2008

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    Why I Don't Talk to Anyone

    I didn't quite know in which experience to put this story. I decided that what explained everything is that I'm an a$$hole, so here it is... I don't talk very much at work. There are two reasons: one is that I will sooner or later say something stupid and end with my foot in...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Feb 27, 2008

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    You Don't Like It, Too Bad

    I've had people pissed with me for being a ****, and ***, a jerk, cold, whatever have you. As if I had no right to be one; like my whole life has been nothing but sweet fragrances and pretty pastures. And the kicker is that some of these very people also act like ***** and...
    JollyDevittaRoger JollyDevittaRoger 22-25, M 2 Responses Jul 16, 2011

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    That I Am.

    I may not be the biggest or brownest but I can say in all honesty that I am an ******* to an extent.
    CuteInChaos CuteInChaos 18-21, F May 25, 2011

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    Im Sorry But Some Women Just Ask For It

    On the phone, girl tries to "guilt me" or whatever. We are talking about her leaving work early which she never does and then she started saying how I could have hung out with her yesterday or tonight even. She said, "You never wanna hang out with me."...
    Silver01ta Silver01ta 26-30, M 10 Responses Mar 25, 2008

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    anhonestmouse anhonestmouse 31-35, F Dec 20, 2013

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    Idiots

    It all started when that leach ex of mine drained out my good blood and replaced it with raging hot frustration.  I became an *******.  Now i'm with this other girl and she's starting to make some leeway but beyond that i think i will always be an *******. ...
    MonteCarlo311 MonteCarlo311 26-30, M Dec 10, 2008

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    Today At Work

    I don't know if you know me, as I haven't posted in a while. I put this story in this experience to minimize the probability that someone would read it who didn't want to. I basically had a bad day at work. It was like people decided to stop tolerating the a$$hole and...
    deleted deleted 26-30 May 30, 2008

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    ag123 ag123 41-45 22 Responses Dec 9, 2008

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    But I Can Change

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=79S_TDP4JKc ... :D
    Krie Krie 22-25, M Feb 24, 2012

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    I have kicked four kids ***** this week

    for "trying"to hit and kick me and harassing my girlfriend. I guess I'm Hank Hill "I'm gonna kick your ***".
    countryboy408 countryboy408 13-15, M 1 Response Feb 20

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    Hmmm............

    "You can screw a a*hole you know. LOL. Okay. Sorry that was sick joke." Ya all know what I mean.   Yeah. I'm a a*hole sometimes too. whatever. People lighted up. I'm poking fun  at myself. No harm in that. Right?    
    mother1983 mother1983 26-30, F 9 Responses Aug 5, 2008

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    Pretty positive a few people on this site,

    at least, have seen this side of me. It's fun.
    Naxxaras Naxxaras 16-17, F 2 Responses Jan 23

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    Iv been told im an ******* by most guys.

    Not really by girls. Alot of my guy friends can vouch for that. And men at the bar ( yikes) . Then when im being an ******* and totally serious about it, tthey think im flirting?? Wtf is wrong with guys. I am not flirting im being dead serious. Its a funny thing
    callmecrazy24 callmecrazy24 22-25, F 2 Responses Jan 19

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    Why Lord, Why

    i hurt people not realising it and i apparently get upset over it i dont have a single clue as of what im doing with my whole life i apologize personally for all those who have been stabbed by my comments i know nobody will read this, but why lord, why why do u make me do this...
    aSchizophrenic aSchizophrenic 18-21, M 2 Responses Mar 22, 2012

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    A Very "un-*******" Thought To Occur To Me.

    My dad, earlier this year during a visit of mine, was concerned over my hatred of people in general (as my mum explained it to him succinctly)...I had to explain to him that essentially "It's not that I hate all people, I just hate people, there's too many that aren't worth my...
    dedre dedre 31-35, M 1 Response Sep 12, 2012

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    The *******'s Side of the Story

    I am an *******. There's no escaping this. I could take a constructive attitude about it, like "I am an ******* and proud of it", or maybe look at it humorously, but I haven't gotten to that stage. Being an ******* is a drag. I don't try to get near anyone, as I know...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Dec 14, 2007

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    All my friends at one point

    or another have called me an *** hole. I see that as an honor. Their isn't a line I won't cross when joking someone.
    89blambert 89blambert 22-25, M Dec 16, 2013

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    Strange

    Despite what the old man told me and having made my confession (it's in another story today), thereby risking to lose whatever small amount of sympathy I may have gained in EP these two months, I didn't feel bad for long. I just don't feel like thinking about what an a$$hole I...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Feb 1, 2008

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    Nemesis

    My nemesis are righteous people. I was going to put this story under "I have a mental illness", but then I thought that it was unlikely that I misinterpreted things. My misdeeds start to follow me (I'm not quite ready to write about it in this forum). This old man...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Feb 1, 2008

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    Related Experiences

    My ex is a total *******. Always had to say something awful to me, he was NEVER happy/satisfied with anything I did. He constantly called me horrible things I didn't deserve any of...
    bribri590 bribri590 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 23

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    Im starting to think that the male population is full of ******** and it sucks. Like why are guys srsly like this? What the hell is wrong with u people? u want every single girls...
    Ali7890 Ali7890 16-17, F Mar 26

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    Little Johnny! One day, Little Johnny saw his grandpa smoking his cigarettes. Little Johnny asked, "Grandpa, can I smoke some of your cigarettes?" His grandpa replied, "Can your...
    steve7000 steve7000 36-40 3 Responses Mar 22

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    people are such asswipes. People who have known me 10 minutes who notice that I am quiet and therefore usually have a neutral facial expression, who think that I should be...
    Fatfuck55 Fatfuck55 26-30 2 Responses Mar 27

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    5 things i like 1. My Crush 2. Blue 3. Kpop/Korea in general 4. Music/Trumpet 5. Food 5 things i dont like 1. ******** who lie 2. People who can keep their promise...
    Ali7890 Ali7890 16-17, F 1 Response Mar 29

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    I can't stop emailing you. You hurt me Greg and made me feel like such a fool. I put my trust in you and (you know how hard it is for me to trust people) and you betrayed it! You...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Mar 31

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    I hate this… I wish I could just run away sometimes and just live by myself. The minute I start to care and open my heart up and try to be normal, I realize how hurtful and awful...
    SECgirl SECgirl 26-30, F Apr 2

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    I have been married for 8 years. The sex was just alright in the first couple of years and then basically dwindled off into never ever land. I thought I could accept her lack of...
    ll2live ll2live 41-45 8 Responses Apr 7

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    I asked a simple question. "How do I know when a cut needs stitches". This one is particularly deep, and I just wanted to know. Instead, I have a few ******** saying that "It's...
    BloodintheWater BloodintheWater 13-15, M 2 Responses Apr 10

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    People keep tellin me I'm such a sarcastic *******. I'm not even trying to be sarcastic, I'm just an *******.
    CDPlayer1 CDPlayer1 18-21, M 2 Responses 6 days ago

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    I am currently living with my mom and I hate it. I know hat living with your parents again sucks once you have moved out but this is really bad. I lived with my dad before I moved...
    LameyC LameyC 18-21, F 4 days ago

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    I met this girl with cancer today and I had to leave. not because I was busy but because it drove me to tears. How is that fair? what plan is that in? this worlds' full of ****. I...
    izmee izmee 22-25, M 1 Response Mar 21

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    I am a really bad wife I yell and shout I get so mad at my husband sometimes I just wanna punch him in the face or leave him he knows what upsets me and he does them anyways he...
    shumey shumey 18-21, F Mar 21

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    Some people say this to guard them really caring. I think a lot of people do and I think it becomes obvious sometimes through their emotional responses. There are some things I...
    fairytalesandspiderwebs fairytalesandspiderwebs 18-21, F Mar 22

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    Today is the first day that I didn't wake up thinking of him! 22 days. That's how long it's been since he stopped speaking to me. I have accepted the end. It's over. I no longer...
    lovinglife11 lovinglife11 31-35, F 9 Responses Mar 22

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    This is my favourite quote ever "I hate the word homophobia. It's not a phobia. You are not scared. You are an *******"- Morgan Freeman
    zakkoboi14 zakkoboi14 13-15, M 1 Response Mar 22

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    "I hate the word Homophobia. It's not a phobia. You're not scared. You're just an *******." - Morgan Freeman
    KeithPrice94 KeithPrice94 18-21, M 2 Responses Mar 22

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    I don't know what it is about me, but people just institutionally turn against me for reasons I never find out, if the person ever actually knows why they hate me. Every time. I...
    faeriefate faeriefate 18-21 Mar 23

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    I have tried for over a decade to live with him.... He is mean and spiteful. My son is so messed up because he is an *******. But I will have to quit my job find work from...
    itsme3333 itsme3333 36-40 Mar 23

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    thought I had buried old feelings but when I opened an email from long ago love the ache and regret rushed in. she only asked a question about me on fb but that triggered it. I...
    jmp3234 jmp3234 41-45, M Mar 23

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    Girls can be ******** to guys too, it's not always the innocent girl in the relationship getting hurt- guys get hurt all the time but they're not allowed to show it, so i will in...
    Gerald6 Gerald6 18-21, M Mar 23

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    I feel like a lot of people would like me if they actually knew me but I'm too shy to act myself in front of people so everybody thinks I'm either awkward or just an *******.
    Chris1083 Chris1083 18-21, M 2 Responses Mar 23

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    I'm quitting this site. Half the people on here are only interested in using their brains for libido, 25% are sarcastic ********, 10% don't care about other people's problems and...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Mar 23

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    I'm with a *******, I don't know how much more to take.. I feel like I'm going to break down :/
    Destinyi Destinyi 26-30, F 8 Responses Mar 23

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    Soo I don't have a name for it... But yeahh Anger is a sign of depression they say that with alittle treatment you'll be okay. But one day when everything is gone and black and...
    olivias78 olivias78 13-15, F 3 Responses Mar 23

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    Armenian joke A man goes to a supermarket and wants to buy the half of a watermelon. He asks the assitant to cut the waztermelon in half. The asistant says that it's impossible...
    lilitjust lilitjust 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 24

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    I hate lazy people. There's always one in my group assignments and group discussions. How can I have a group discussion in my tutorial classes if people don't prepare the work or...
    GoFuckYourselfBitch GoFuckYourselfBitch 70+, M Mar 24

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    I need someone to be my sounding board, I am always a shoulder for people, always accommodating and happy because I understand... I always understand. I want someone I can connect...
    TerrifiedoftheUnknown TerrifiedoftheUnknown 22-25, F 1 Response Mar 24