I Am An Emotional Masochist

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 187 People

    Hurt

    I like to cry. I prefer when people hurt me on purpose, like my sadistic cousin does. Other than that most people feel bad when they find out they hurt me.
    KisKat KisKat
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Jun 30, 2013

    I remember when I first figured it out about

    myself. we had moved away from Phoenix, Arizona. I had this huge crush on this girl, Laura... I was miserable in Omaha, Nebraska. My family had literally withdrawn me from the school system and I had NOTHING else to do with my days sometimes than just think about her and how...
    ManifestoOfThePhoenix ManifestoOfThePhoenix
    26-30, M
    Mar 21

    I am a submissive female

    who desperately needs to be hurt both mentally and physically (within reason and with a safe word)if you are interested, feel free to message me on heer or on k.i.k which is _action_cat_
    Tinylittledoll Tinylittledoll
    18-21, F
    Mar 24

    Yes unfortunately i am,

    i prefer to being emotional sadistic :)
    fauxlady fauxlady
    22-25, F
    1 Response Sep 10, 2014

    I am a masochist and I desperately need a

    sadist to hurt me in any way they see fit. (within reason)
    Tinylittledoll Tinylittledoll
    18-21, F
    Mar 21

    and I surround myself with people

    who refuse to support my endeavors or actually oppose them. it's not good
    JacquelineJonez JacquelineJonez
    26-30, T
    Sep 8, 2015

    There's No Consquences Anymore. It's Like I'm Perfection.

    red or white, it's all the same. All sensory phenomenon ends in the same place. happines is more pleasurable then pain but it all ends up in the same place. I'm totally beyond anyone's ability to "moderate" because there are no consequences anymore nature's perfection in one...
    ManifestoOfThePhoenix ManifestoOfThePhoenix
    26-30, M
    Jul 15, 2013

    I'm New To This Whole Idea

    I never even considered the idea that I might be an emotional masochist until recently. I had a normal childhood, with supportive parents and plenty of friends. I am actively pursuing a degree in psychology, a decision I came to because I have always been the shoulder for those...
    musicisariot musicisariot
    18-21, F
    Apr 14, 2012

    So... Heres My Story... Tell Me You Hate It!

    So.... im young so all of you understand that. My masochism started when my parents divorced. They would punch in windows and scream. When i was little i used to listen to them scream and it made me so angry... my parents tried to manipulate me to hate the other. Then when i was...
    MIKEY360 MIKEY360
    13-15
    1 Response May 9, 2012

    http://www.experienceproject.

    com/stories/Am-An-Emotional-Masochist/7728210 In the years that followed I sought out an explanation for why it was this way. Perhaps it was Spin after the fact for a decision my brain made 6 seconds before I became aware of it and there really is no reason at all but as best...
    ManifestoOfThePhoenix ManifestoOfThePhoenix
    26-30, M
    1 Response Mar 21

    If You Don't Have It...

    I've been told it's a symptom of depression , I’ve been told that i must be fairly down to have discovered this, but it's like a backdoor in all of the suffering. When I got dumped I would play songs that reminded me of her.... it stung, like swallowing acid, but it made me...
    ManifestoOfThePhoenix ManifestoOfThePhoenix
    26-30, M
    2 Responses Jun 4, 2011

    Hello folks. I'll throw this out early,

    I'm 15. For quite a while I've wondered what's wrong with me, looking for possible diagnoses in the depths of the Internet. In seventh grade, I was isolated from all my friends in school, and everyone thought I was kinda weird, even though my goal is to remain as normal as...
    Starsguard Starsguard
    16-17, F
    1 Response Sep 7, 2015

    Tryin To Find Me

    I think i am a masochist. My ex wokr up this nee side of me and then left. I still have so many questions and want to explore this new me. I just need soneone to talk to. I want to talk to a masochist as well as a sadist.
    bellerose17 bellerose17
    18-21, F
    5 Responses Apr 8, 2013

    I Can Confess This Is The Truth About Me As Welll

    I have had sense small childhood a very strong desire to help people emotionally speaking and psychoanalyze even the worst cases. in the process of trying to get to understand people who liked being abused and dysfunctional relationships I started to notice that my own were...
    ManifestoOfThePhoenix ManifestoOfThePhoenix
    26-30, M
    2 Responses Oct 21, 2009

    Want To Be Abused

    Since I've been young...and I mean very young I have been drawn into the idea of being abused. I remember one day my mother became angry when she walked in on my brother hitting my across the back with a belt after I had talked him into doing it for about 30 minutes, I must have...
    Ayza Ayza
    16-17
    5 Responses Aug 29, 2012

    One Example

    Every time I PMS, I always get this idea in my head that I should watch some really sad documentaries. Then I cry the whole way through. Then I get really pissed off about whatever injustice was done in the film. Righteous anger. Repeat every month.
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Jun 20, 2013

    I Try My Hardest To Mess Everything Up

    And I just want do overs but not entirely because I'm not sure if happiness/success is what I want :( No matter how good life is I can't take it and I wanna mess everything all up and stay in my depressing comfort zone. I think it might be because I am grieving and it's natural...
    OCDPhoenix OCDPhoenix
    18-21, F
    1 Response Oct 6, 2012

    I Am Both A Phsyical & Emotional Masochist.

    For starters I should say I am in my teens. I have been this way since befor my teens. I just love pain & being talked down to and basicly slaved in a sort of way. But not by girls,even if I am bisexual,I tend to be the more dominant type with girls.I am boyish & 'emo' ( a label...
    CoveredInAshes CoveredInAshes
    13-15, F
    Jul 19, 2012

    "Fool me once, shame on you.

    Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, I'll take a fourth and fifth serving because I am a emotional masochist"
    BookOfShadows BookOfShadows
    18-21, F
    Nov 5, 2014

    or well I think so. all of my ex's have been

    emotionally abusive, and I get sad thinking about it but also really.. excited? I get talked down to a lot, manipulated, and it makes me cry but I also crave it. it's like I know I'm ****, so please keep telling me I am. one of my ex boyfriends told me to kill myself and I still...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Mar 9, 2015

    It means my mind can never be broke.

    Responsibility, pressure, burden, i accept them because i can take it yet an unhealthy amount of thought goes into wanting more. I'm a glutton for punishment, even my dreams during sleep can be considered "cruel" by my standards of course... since dreams can evoke emotions, i...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Dec 14, 2014

    I have this need to be abused.

    Most people have cravings for things like food, sleep, sex drive etc. For some reason I have a drive and sometimes a strong craving to be humiliated, insulted and broken down mentally. I don't know why I have this craving, but recently I realized that the desire started...
    marie121 marie121
    22-25, F
    3 Responses Jan 3, 2014

    Purely Torture On Myself

    I have always sought "bad" relationships. I've been dating for almost 20 years and have had tons of short term relationships. I would say somewhere between 30-50 men and women I've dated. And out of that number, I think maybe three weren't abusive, drug addicts, cheaters, or a...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Jan 30, 2013

    sometimes i wonder why most of the writing

    that's been done about it assumes that we have a low sense of self worth. I almost choke with laughter at how off base the psych writing about it is sometimes. God me? I started to learn to enjoy my pain because I knew how essential I was. I'd saved lives. I'd held back the...
    ManifestoOfThePhoenix ManifestoOfThePhoenix
    26-30, M
    1 Response Nov 28, 2015

    I Can't Describe

    I can not describe the extent to which I want to be hurt. I absolutely hate and loath myself and am the worst thing to have ever existed. No pain or suffering is enough for me. It's been this way for a very long time. Easily going on a decade and a half. The first sign of my...
    aponymous aponymous
    41-45, M
    2 Responses Oct 8, 2013

    We keep our play in the bedroom only.

    I love more than anything else - when he spanks me. I like it so much when he is rough and I want him to leave his love marks all over my body. I like the face smacking - I always have. My new love has hit me three times now on the face and it has instead of turning me on and...
    Missbit Missbit
    26-30, F
    1 Response Jan 3, 2014

    It's A Coping Mechanism Not A Preference

    I don't LIKE pain just because I WANT to be hurt. The fact is that i'd give anything to be HAPPY rather then SAD but given how FREQUENTLY I get hurt I've learned to love the pain I feel.
    ManifestoOfThePhoenix ManifestoOfThePhoenix
    26-30, M
    Aug 12, 2013
More Stories