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I Am An Ex-cutter

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 340 People

    Cant Live In The Past - Ive had lots of issues like my mother's heart attack at 3, my fathers OD at 7, my family being a bunch of pot heads and drop outs. I am the only one whos...
    TheXProblematique TheXProblematique 18-21, M Mar 9, 2013

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    Give Me A Reason - I started to cut when I was in my lowest state of depression. I could focus on anything, the world(in my eyes) was just a cruel place of indignity and injustice...
    Hitshufflereplay Hitshufflereplay 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 11, 2011

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    It Was The Way For A While - I have done a lot of things to cope with life this was one of the most impacting it started in 7th grade not a lot to keep it hidden it eventually...
    jasmlalm jasmlalm 16-17 2 Responses Aug 18, 2012

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    I haven't cut regularly in years, but lately life is really tough and depression is all encompassing. it's gotten really hard not to relapse. every day is a battle against the...
    paradoxical paradoxical 22-25, F Dec 11, 2013

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    "Destroy Me" - I used to take an exacto knife to my skin. Cutting delicate lines all along my thighs. The last time I cut was when I realized I had to stop. I was pretty...
    SweetDesireeRose SweetDesireeRose 18-21, F Sep 30, 2011

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    Dancing With The Devil: Battling Temptation -   I don't remember exactly how old I was when I started cutting but I was pretty young.  I think I was 14 or 15. I know that by the...
    BrokenBear BrokenBear 26-30, F 2 Responses Jun 27, 2011

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    Trying To Quit - I am 13 years old. I have been cutting since I was 10.. I started out hardly cutting myself, like it would not't't even bleed. Then after time, I cut started...
    vJinxx vJinxx 13-15, F 3 Responses Jul 13, 2012

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    Hidden For Years... - I am 41 years old and I still at times feel the need to cut myself I have been doing it for over twenty years.... My ex-wife always made me feel ashamed of it...
    Jah70 Jah70 41-45, M 2 Responses Aug 7, 2012

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    Even Now - Even now I get upset...and I know wh ere I want to turn.Noth ing so proper as tattering myself.Pile my wish es, watch  me burn.Even now I want so badlyto let my pain...
    SheCanMakeHellFeelJustLikeHome SheCanMakeHellFeelJustLikeHome 18-21, F Jan 30, 2011

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    Freshman-senior - For Four Years I was a cutter....... I cut my arms, legs and stomach..... I hated myself for the abuse that I was given by my brother......I was also beaten on...
    lady1979 lady1979 31-35, F Jul 17, 2012

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    They Are Memories - i don't know i'f i'd call my self an Ex Cutter but you could look at it that way as i have not cut in over a year.i stoped because i don't want to be helped. i...
    MentalxButterfly MentalxButterfly 22-25, F 4 Responses Apr 26, 2011

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    Life Now - I havnt cut in 3 weeks, n I know that doesnt seem like much time but I used to cut 4 to 5 times a day... I got a new bf, n when my ex ended it with me... I was sad... n...
    KristenRS KristenRS 13-15, F Aug 19, 2013

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    didn't cut for a year and then I relapsed a couple times a couple months ago, Ive never done it severely but it still scares me that I feel the need to cut.
    Merewiff Merewiff 16-17, F 2 Responses Jan 21

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    Once Upon a Time... - i began cutting at the age of ten. it led to many hospitol stays, even residential treatment. i have ugly scars in various places on my body...my last suicide...
    SalymHurley SalymHurley 16-17, F 5 Responses Aug 14, 2009

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    I Like The Pain. - I enjoy cutting, and ever since I stopped, it just feels different. I've been mostly clean for about 2 months, but I still have my occasional moments. I just get...
    shadowvigilante shadowvigilante 16-17 3 Responses May 9, 2013

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    Not So Much Anymore - I am pretty sure I overreact to stressful situations. Today I missed a group meeting with a class-group for my Literature class. We were supposed to film a...
    Hitshufflereplay Hitshufflereplay 18-21, F Apr 14, 2011

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    Constant Struggle - I used to cut myself when I was first around 12 as a means of escape from the emotional neglect from my parents and verbal sibling abuse I received as a young...
    EpericDusk EpericDusk 18-21, F 1 Response Oct 8, 2013

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    I Love My Scars - I like looking at my scars they are little reminders that I defeated my demons. I havnt cut myself in over a month. I know that doesnt make me better because I...
    Panthere Panthere 16-17, F 1 Response Nov 17, 2011

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    Dont - i had a friend, they didn't die but we fell out,....she showed me she cut herself, she was upset, i asked her why she said i couldn't understand,....and at that moment i...
    meryl007 meryl007 22-25, M 1 Response Feb 12, 2011

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    My Best Friend - My bestest friend cutts what should I do???.???
    VedaMay VedaMay 13-15, F 3 Responses Sep 16, 2012

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    Pain And Shame - I started cutting myself when i was about 11 years old. My life just seemed to be a big ball of pain, nothing was going right, my mom kept getting cancer , since i...
    creneebby creneebby 18-21, F Jul 31, 2012

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    In Total Darkness You Can Be Me - I Am The Shadow I am the shadow you see beside you at night The distorted, blackened version of yourself Flickering in and out of alleyways Not...
    Deweybird0016 Deweybird0016 16-17, F Nov 8, 2012

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    He Saved My Life By Killing Himself... - Monday, January 30, 2012, at around 6 o'clock, my life fell apart. Well, before all that, I was depressed, because of my issues at home...
    Forever157 Forever157 13-15 1 Response Aug 9, 2012

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    My Daughter Cuts - I need help I just found out that my 13 year old daughter has been cutting herself and I have talked to her we have been to the doctor and pastor from our church...
    mariea72 mariea72 36-40, F 3 Responses Dec 29, 2012

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    Ex - i started cutting myself at the age of 12, it was so fascinating to me how blood would gush out of me and i would feel the pain sting, which was better than the mental agony...
    SunnyB SunnyB 22-25 1 Response Feb 15, 2010

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    I Cut - I really do not know, what has happened to me, everyone knows me as the happiest person that has ever lived, but inside I am torn and my heart and soul is broken, I just...
    blackcloud22 blackcloud22 31-35, F 5 Responses Oct 19, 2009

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    I Have Finally Started To Heal... - I have cut for nearly five years now and 22 days ago today I stopped cutting. I guess I'm not an "ex-cutter" yet but I'm working on it. I have...
    WishesAreGone WishesAreGone 16-17, F Apr 1, 2012

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    Ashamed Of My Scars - I have visible scars from cutting and I'm quite ashamed of them. I started in highschool, during sophmore year, and continued for around 5-6 years. It has...
    ck000 ck000 18-21, F 9 Responses Jun 26, 2010

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    A Bit Of A Phase - I did it for about a year in high school when i was dealing with an eating disorder. It would be my way of inflicting punishment upon myself. I would so often...
    letsholdhands letsholdhands 18-21, F 3 Responses Jul 7, 2010

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    Release.. - I havnt cut in years.. I still feel the need to..After a day when my memories haunt me.. When all i can think about is the pain growing inside my broken soul..thats...
    vooD vooD 22-25, F Nov 10, 2012

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    Clean For Almost A Year - As you all know summer is approaching.It was around this time last year I started cutting.I felt urges to try it out.My best friend use to did it.Which...
    Dawn0fTheDeathNote Dawn0fTheDeathNote 13-15, F Jan 30, 2013

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    Trying To Start Over! - I have been a cutter since the age 11 I am 19 now and as of November 2012 is when I finally quit. I started cutting because i was raped by someone close to...
    panther93 panther93 18-21, F Feb 11, 2013

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    I Don't Want To Do It - I cut myself the first time when I was about 9. I did it until I was almost 17. I cut my arms, my legs, my ribs, and my chest. The scars are the worst on my...
    lyricaldemise lyricaldemise 36-40 2 Responses Sep 16, 2012

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    The Only Way I Felt Sane. - Like a sister to me my babysitter at the age of 19 died. I was in the 7th grade, that year was an alright year i guess you could say except fo the part...
    lonergirl123 lonergirl123 16-17, F 1 Response Nov 12, 2012

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    Story Time (why Today Is Special) - On July 16, 2011, I fell victim to the blade once more and had a fourth cutting relapse. At this point in time, I was deeply, deeply depressed...
    ReesesPeaces ReesesPeaces 16-17, F 2 Responses Jul 16, 2012

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    Hiding The Scars - I want to get rid of my scars but sometimes I feel like thats what keeps me going like it reminds me you didn't die for a reason.... I found this really neat...
    mzmiztake mzmiztake 16-17, F 1 Response Oct 26, 2013

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    I Am Recovering From A Long Journey. - I had a cutting problem, it was so bad that my entire arm is filled with scars upon scars of varying sizes. It is rooted to my mother...
    NekroPhiliac NekroPhiliac 18-21, F Jan 5, 2013

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    The Habbit Stoped - I am 14 years old and I used to be a very bad cutter I have scars all over my arms because nobody accepted me the way I am people would make fun of me all the...
    josey888 josey888 13-15, F 1 Response Jul 29, 2013

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    I Cant,,, - i cant say im an ex cutter....becuz im not....i wish to stop but cant. its my stress release. but lately i havent had the erge to cut...hmmm maybe i am an ex...
    twinni twinni 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 15, 2010

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    Well, That Was Stupid. - After not having cut in 6 months, and not cut 6 months before that, I have relapsed. Why? What is the matter? I was doing so good. I still had urges, but I...
    Rokubenny2005 Rokubenny2005 18-21, F Jan 16, 2013

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    They Will Never Know Why I Did It - i was like 13 when i stared to cutting myself.... i would get so mad and i would it if i wouldnt hurt someone i would hurt myself the first time...
    LowKeyLeidii LowKeyLeidii 16-17, F 1 Response Jul 3, 2012

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    Loseing... - from my other story here, you'll know i've stopped cutting.. and that some times i still get a slight urge to want to..but that hhas not happene to me. to answer some...
    MentalxButterfly MentalxButterfly 22-25, F 1 Response May 26, 2011

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    Every day I thank god I'm still here !!
    Ericsopher Ericsopher 22-25, M Mar 9

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    The First Night - I awoke one nightNot sure of myselfBut, having the feeling of bursting into tears at that second... wasn't an option for meSo, I picked up her scissors and split...
    KISSndKILL KISSndKILL 18-21, F Jul 5, 2011

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    The First Time I Took My Shirt Off In Front Of You - I slid the black fabric of my blouse Off my arms revealing The pale ladder of scars. I never referenced them directly I told...
    Deweybird0016 Deweybird0016 16-17, F Nov 7, 2012

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    Trigger - i think its all personal,   the TRIGGER can be a song, a smell, a picture, a program, a person....ect    either its the cause its self of...
    skyefyre17 skyefyre17 18-21, F 2 Responses Nov 19, 2009

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    It Started When I..... - attempted suicide. I slit my wrists at 15, long and deep slashes on both my wrists, the way it felt was amazing and unlike anything that had ever happened...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Jul 19, 2010

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    Finally Done - I've wanted to quit for a long time, but finally, I have. I stopped in April. Once I pierced my lip, i promised myself, and my best friend tyler, that i would never...
    MurderMichelle MurderMichelle 16-17, F 1 Response Dec 30, 2008

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    I haven't layed a knife to my wrists in 3 years. I used to cut every other day because nasty rumors were being spread about me and I didn't like anyone. Now I have very thin, white...
    suzukipot suzukipot 16-17, F Dec 9, 2013

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    January 22, 2010 - That was when I last cut myself. That was even a couple months before I stumbled upon EP. Before that, I had cut myself in the last days of September 2009...
    deadmoon deadmoon 18-21, F Dec 30, 2011

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    I'm an ex-cutter, burner actually. I was on a medication on at the time that caused severe depression. The moods I went into were terrible. Even after a suicide attempt the doctor...
    Notthateasy Notthateasy 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 5