I Am An Ex-cutter

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 487 People

    Story Time (why Today Is Special)

    On July 16, 2011, I fell victim to the blade once more and had a fourth cutting relapse. At this point in time, I was deeply, deeply depressed and highly self destructive. I hadn't yet learned the consequences of my actions. I had abandoned my retribution and gave in to the blade...
    ReesesPeaces ReesesPeaces
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Jul 16, 2012

    Once You Tell Some One Or They Find Out Everything Changes

    One day i was sitting in class like always when one of my friends leaned towards me and asked what was on my hand. I made up some lame excus she didn't believe. My cutting had gotten so bad that i was taking razors to school and slicing my hands open several times. I wasn't...
    Unknown012 Unknown012
    18-21, F
    1 Response Sep 20, 2009
    Carliza0425 Carliza0425
    16-17
    1 Response Apr 17, 2015

    This will not be long,

    I plan on writ tsing a much longer version some time down the road... Around 12 to 13 years old, but at 14 I just stopped over night... It was odd, no feeling to need to cut more, I mean... I wanted to some times but not like a need or strong want, just like you see candy and...
    jane1hejackass jane1hejackass
    18-21, T
    1 Response Nov 19, 2015

    Been clean for about a month,

    and I try my hardest to keep it that way. Maybe this time I'll stop for real and start living..
    ginawexler ginawexler
    13-15, F
    2 Responses Oct 5, 2014

    Well, I messed up.. almost two years clean of

    self harm, down the drain... And to be honest, I don't even feel all that much better...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Jun 12, 2015

    Started with 12, quitted

    when I was 15. It was pretty hard, but I could take drugs instead of cutting so I managed to stop. I didn't relapse. It's over. Finally.
    highfunctioningsocio highfunctioningsocio
    18-21, M
    Apr 26, 2014

    Once Upon a Time...

    i began cutting at the age of ten. it led to many hospitol stays, even residential treatment. i have ugly scars in various places on my body...my last suicide attempt i cut and i hit an artery. then i started dating my best friend, hes wonderful, hes in the army and i miss him. i...
    SalymHurley SalymHurley
    16-17, F
    5 Responses Aug 14, 2009

    Even Now

    Even now I get upset...and I know wh ere I want to turn.Noth ing so proper as tattering myself.Pile my wish es, watch  me burn.Even now I want so badlyto let my pain flow out of my skin,mixing in with  my blood to give me release.But I can not stop once I beginMy paradox...
    SheCanMakeHellFeelJustLikeHome SheCanMakeHellFeelJustLikeHome
    18-21, F
    Jan 30, 2011

    Dancing With The Devil: Battling Temptation

      I don't remember exactly how old I was when I started cutting but I was pretty young.  I think I was 14 or 15. I know that by the age of 16, I was a regular cutter and by the age of 22, when I quit (for the most part, not counting minor relapses), I had a decent patchwork of...
    BrokenBear BrokenBear
    26-30, F
    2 Responses Jun 27, 2011

    today my ex-best friend,

    who has been mocking me a lot and talking behind my back because I had existential depression (she didnt know I cut) and has never said sorry has decided to do a speech about self harm and depression to the whole school...I don't know how I will be able to cope with her talking...
    skullmo skullmo
    16-17, F
    Dec 4, 2014

    Ashamed Of My Scars

    I have visible scars from cutting and I'm quite ashamed of them. I started in highschool, during sophmore year, and continued for around 5-6 years. It has landed me in the hospital a couple of times, and years of therapy where I'm convinced I've wasted my therapists' time. I was...
    ck000 ck000
    18-21, F
    9 Responses Jun 26, 2010

    I'm 16 years old and I started cutting at the

    age of 12 after my mom passed away i was a whole year clean until the other night. But hey recovery means you will have relapses here and then!
    briannabailey briannabailey
    16-17, F
    1 Response Feb 9, 2015

    7 Stitches

    I started cutting when i was 12. After seeing doctor, i also had a stomach olser for worrying so much, my mom was going threw a divorce with a disgusting man. He was perverted. Anyways, my 7th grade year i started dating the most popular guy. He was a twin, and i had actually...
    courtneyrena courtneyrena
    13-15, F
    Mar 31, 2011

    SemiColon Project is a great movement.

    ..and I got this tattoo as a reminder to myself and others. We are not alone.
    TwistedLilDream TwistedLilDream
    26-30, F
    1 Response Aug 15, 2015

    I wouldn't call myself an ex cutter yet

    but I am getting there. I recently got a tattoo for the Semicolon Project so I am hoping that helps me when I look down and see that :). I'd love to talk to others who are struggling or just need someone to talk too.
    TwistedLilDream TwistedLilDream
    26-30, F
    2 Responses Aug 15, 2015

    my arms bears numerous scars from cutting from

    the past. I have a name on my arm, I carved it with a razor blade, i carved the name of a girl I was in love with. I did it when she dumped me.
    voslung voslung
    36-40, M
    Aug 12, 2014

    I'm an ex-cutter, burner actually.

    I was on a medication on at the time that caused severe depression. The moods I went into were terrible. Even after a suicide attempt the doctor refused to take me off it. I started burning after that because the suicidal thoughts wouldn't stop and I needed an outlet. Eventually...
    Notthateasy Notthateasy
    18-21, F
    1 Response Mar 5, 2014

    This is my first time posting,

    hope this is ok. I will say I messed up and cut, for me cutting has been an 8 year battle and I do well 90% of the time, but tonight I screwed up.
    ksan02 ksan02
    22-25, F
    1 Response Apr 13, 2015

    Constant Struggle

    I used to cut myself when I was first around 12 as a means of escape from the emotional neglect from my parents and verbal sibling abuse I received as a young almost teenager. I tried to talk to my mother about my feelings instead of cutting but she really would not listen to...
    EpericDusk EpericDusk
    22-25, F
    1 Response Oct 8, 2013

    It Started When I.....

    attempted suicide. I slit my wrists at 15, long and deep slashes on both my wrists, the way it felt was amazing and unlike anything that had ever happened to me, it wasn't' painful like the abuse that my step dad dished out, it was a release, and I knew I would do it over and...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    3 Responses Jul 19, 2010

    When i cut myself i always knew it would hurt

    more than the pain i was actually feeling but the thing was i didn't cut my Arms i cut my legs every day i cut myself for almost a year until one day i collapsed from blood loss and during school so it attracted a lot of attention the worst part was my mom had absolutely no clue...
    Kitry Kitry
    16-17, F
    1 Response Sep 27, 2014

    I have not cut in almost 5 years

    when someone says you will struggle with your addiction for the rest of your life its true. I know I needed to stop and I am proud of myself for doing so but sometimes it feels like apart of me is missing since I quit and I just want that piece back. I became a very active...
    Unknown012 Unknown012
    18-21, F
    1 Response Apr 12, 2015

    I started when I was 16.

    I did it once, and promised myself I would never do it again. But of course, I did. It was a very dark time of my life. I was just so unhappy. I thought I was worthless, ugly, fat ... Pointless. My mum had an awful boyfriend. He was vile. And he controlled her, and she was...
    ImpossibleHeart ImpossibleHeart
    31-35, F
    1 Response Sep 2, 2014

    I used to cut allot, due to all the physical

    and emotional pain I've been through.. Not for anyone to see, not for attention... If anything I just wanted the drama to stop ??.. Everything..., to just stop.. I'm now 23 & haven't cut for quite some time.. A thought crossed my mind tonight tho.. I haven't physically taken a...
    peacepipe1992 peacepipe1992
    18-21
    1 Response Dec 23, 2015
    amberraine amberraine
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Jun 1, 2015

    I'm not sure why I feel compelled to share my

    story. Maybe it would be nice to help someone in the smallest way. Even if one person could take away something that helped for even a brief moment of weakness. Its been close to a year since I've self harmed I think there is always a little darkness tucked away in the corner...
    Runningoutoftime4now Runningoutoftime4now
    70+, F
    Oct 8, 2015

    I was an ex cutter, but I started again on

    Thursday and I already have 15 cuts. My best friend is trying to help me stop again but it's not helping, when I cut I don't feel the pain but I see the blood, and it causes me to do it more cause I wanna feel how the pain is even if I can't. I'm starting to get addicted to it...
    brownzugar brownzugar
    18-21, M
    2 Responses Dec 14, 2014

    The Habbit Stoped

    I am 14 years old and I used to be a very bad cutter I have scars all over my arms because nobody accepted me the way I am people would make fun of me all the time and push me around and called me Emo I had a boyfriend that I loved very much we where together for one year then he...
    josey888 josey888
    16-17, F
    1 Response Jul 29, 2013
    Amy1MM Amy1MM
    18-21, F
    4 Responses Nov 15, 2014

    it's really annoying

    when ppl make a joke out of cutting....you don't know how to respond to people who make fun of it...:( I used to cut for a year and then it stopped but sometimes I still want to cut again so I'm now 2 months clean! its hard.....when you know it relieves the pain inside then...
    skullmo skullmo
    16-17, F
    1 Response Nov 21, 2014

    It only took five minutes to change

    that fact. Five minutes destroyed being 8 months cut free.
    Nooneknowsmythoughts Nooneknowsmythoughts
    18-21, F
    Jun 27, 2014
    Ericsopher Ericsopher
    26-30, M
    Mar 9, 2014

    I have officially become 3 months cut-free.

    :) I need to go celebrate. :)
    mkmoore mkmoore
    18-21, F
    4 Responses Oct 4, 2014

    I started when I was 10.

    And it just progressed when I got older. I started cutting bad when I was 15/16. I even had my own special cutting serrated knife I would use. I hated my body and life. Cutting and getting high would help the pain. At least that's what I thought. I first started cutting on my...
    UnstableSammi UnstableSammi
    22-25, F
    Aug 20, 2014

    Finally Done

    I've wanted to quit for a long time, but finally, I have. I stopped in April. Once I pierced my lip, i promised myself, and my best friend tyler, that i would never cut again. and I haven't ever since
    MurderMichelle MurderMichelle
    16-17, F
    1 Response Dec 30, 2008

    The First Time I Took My Shirt Off In Front Of You

    I slid the black fabric of my blouse Off my arms revealing The pale ladder of scars. I never referenced them directly I told you, I was lost once. I said I did things once because They helped me survive Who I am as a Person. You didn't say anything. Instead you took your hand and...
    Deweybird0016 Deweybird0016
    16-17, F
    Nov 7, 2012

    It burns..... Right now.

    .............!!!!
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Mar 18, 2015

    Hidden For Years...

    I am 41 years old and I still at times feel the need to cut myself I have been doing it for over twenty years.... My ex-wife always made me feel ashamed of it. But it was my coping mechanism when times got too much for me. I try different methods now as opposed to cutting myself...
    Jah70 Jah70
    41-45, M
    2 Responses Aug 7, 2012

    It's been almost a year

    since I went to that.
    careuhambur careuhambur
    18-21, F
    1 Response Apr 19, 2015

    I used to cut my wrists a lot

    when I was 13 and now I'm 23 and I still want to cut again I'm not happy with being sad I don't want to cut because I have a beautiful daughter and I don't want her taken away from me
    Emotionalgirl1012 Emotionalgirl1012
    22-25, F
    1 Response Dec 3, 2015

    Dont

    i had a friend, they didn't die but we fell out,....she showed me she cut herself, she was upset, i asked her why she said i couldn't understand,....and at that moment i pulled out my pocket knife took it to my arm, and started slicing,...right it front of her i kept cutting my...
    meryl007 meryl007
    22-25, M
    1 Response Feb 12, 2011

    The Only Way I Felt Sane.

    Like a sister to me my babysitter at the age of 19 died. I was in the 7th grade, that year was an alright year i guess you could say except fo the part i lost all of my closest friends to the popular kids, and i began to get bullied.. I think the worst part about being bullied...
    lonergirl123 lonergirl123
    16-17, F
    1 Response Nov 12, 2012

    I used to cut a lot but I stopped

    after I found out I was pregnant with my daughter and I stopped but I want to start again but I don't want to cuz of my daughter !
    Emotionalgirl1012 Emotionalgirl1012
    22-25, F
    3 Responses Oct 23, 2015

    I was cutting pretty bad from 20 a day to 90 a

    day all over my legs and arm and I did that for about 11 months I was covered in scars but most of them faded now I've been clean for 6 months besides one relapse on my right leg but it was barley over ten cuts… I miss the scars I had but I don't want to cut anymore....
    greenmonkeysoup greenmonkeysoup
    16-17, F
    1 Response Aug 17, 2014
More Stories