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I Am An Idiot

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 734 People

    I Always Knew I Was A Massive Douchebag

    ... but yesterday it seems I outdid even myself. Now, I don't remember much of it, I was drunk and blacked out. But, I got this text in the morning from my very good friend Jimmy showing a transaction on his credit card, followed by the words "F@ck you." I have been meaning to...
    kapanda kapanda 22-25, M Feb 16, 2013

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    I have a problem. I go straight

    and do good and do my job for few days and just when I'm ok with myself I ruin everything and my day off is a mess. How to turn away from all those bad distractions ? I feel ok but I lose myself during the week. I run, I skate, I play music, I have friends... but if i can't do...
    CrookedMat CrookedMat 26-30, M 2 Responses Apr 2

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    Selfish

    Selfish I don't understand the selfish people, i mean ridiculously selfish people. I have a girlfriend ( poor excuse for one) that have been with for over two years. Last year i left the state because the economy was bad, but we still stayed in touch. Our relationship has...
    mw69 mw69 22-25 3 Responses Dec 5, 2009

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    hello! i was thinking

    for a while and i have a different thought about myself now tho it still doesnt change anything (i hope it did) i found out that i am an idiot because i am shy, not confident, depressed and i dont believe in myself while being at the same time, funny smart handsome, but what i...
    thetechguy thetechguy 18-21, M 1 Response Feb 15

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    Dvdbghmhj

    My paranoia is beginning to get worst everyday. I'm so convinced people send emails/mail to my parents about me, so go through both of their emails and look at their mail. The counseling I go to doesn't seem to be doing anything for me.. I ask every few minutes if everything is...
    holysantorinis holysantorinis 16-17 Oct 28, 2012

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    Whenever I try to get myself out of

    uncomfortable situations I take out my phone and pretend to be in a deep conversation with someone over the phone. But then this one time i tried doing this because I didn't know how to continue my conversation with this friend and she caught me when she saw that the screen that...
    theorangefreak theorangefreak 13-15, F 3 Responses a week ago

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    kloudykloud kloudykloud 16-17, M Apr 2

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    I Am Stupid That..

    Im such an idiot that i don't know my grammar, i failed all my exams, cheated my boyfriend, tripped on a rock and fell hardly on the ground, missed so many ducks when i played whack a duck,i asked for your pants size, im such an idiot that i made my mom have my email password...
    Babeekrishelle Babeekrishelle 18-21, F Jun 26, 2012

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    Utter Idiot

    I'm very stupid. It takes me a while to process conversations some time. And while I appear fairly articulate in written word, I cannot speak directly to people without being incredibly self-conscious. My nerves make me so defensive and stupid. I either say too little or too much...
    Mdear Mdear 18-21, F 5 Responses Jul 12, 2011

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    I'm Proud

    I'm idiotic but I'm proud because the minds of idiots work in very unique ways .So taht means I'm as unique as everyone else ;) Yay me!
    NotBackingDown NotBackingDown 13-15, F Aug 19, 2012

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    I Admit It, I'M An Idiot

    I can't believe I actually fell for that April fools prank- the google nose beta thing. They claimed that they now had the technology to let you smell through the computer. They said all you had to do was put your nose up real close to the screen and click on the picture you can...
    howsab howsab 31-35, F 1 Response Apr 8, 2013

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    That Girl

    so i just got to know this girl n i really like her but she lives so far away n i cant do anything about it n all i want to do is cry. I really hate falling for people u cant even hug or kiss.
    willsexy5252 willsexy5252 16-17, M Jul 4, 2013

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    I Am An Idiot

     i keep talking the talk, but somehow, i can't walk the walk. and the clock is ticking. time is running out. and i know it. and here i am, treading quicksand. doing the dog paddle, in a world full of masterful superstrokers. they are leaving me behind.  i am an...
    Nita427 Nita427 56-60, M 4 Responses Jul 27, 2010

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    I'm a stupid person, I'm foolish,

    and a complete idiot.. I don't have good moral, i don't know what's right and what's wrong at some points.. I'm lazy and irresponsible.. . . . i hate myself sometimes
    aljada aljada 18-21, F 3 Responses Jan 11

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    Food Over Dignity... Really?

    I can remember this happening a few years back. I'm pretty sure I was old enough then to have at least an ounce of common sense.I was 12 but I might as well have been 3. I bought myself popcorn and soda. Sadly my pants were falling , I screamed for help from my family but they...
    NotBackingDown NotBackingDown 13-15, F Aug 19, 2012

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    Embarrassing

    I was really young then, so don't judge! I was at the swimming pool with my mum and brother. My mum asked me to go and get her towel, so I ran to get it. Now, it was a really big pool and my legs were tiny so it was taking me ages to get back - she was on the other side of the...
    musicspirit musicspirit 16-17, F 24 Responses May 17, 2009

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    A Bigger Idiot Than You...

     don't make me prove it...  but I will.  Give it your best shot, idiots!  You'll think you're Einstein when you're done with me.
    alobar alobar 36-40, M May 7, 2008

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    What Happens When I Dont Listen To Myself

    Yesterday I commented on my friends FB post within minutes I had a guy on her friends list post on wall "Your beautiful, wanna chat" My thought was, if he's going to stick himself out there to talk to me then I should at least chat with him. We chatted on FB for all of 2 minutes...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Dec 24, 2011

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    Flirt.

    I happen to be one of those girls, who enjoy flirting. Not because I'm a *****. Not because I want to hurt guys. But, because I've always been so insecure, that the attention is the only thing that makes me feel like I'm beautiful. It's comforting. It's nice to know people think...
    trayne23 trayne23 18-21, F Jul 7, 2012

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    My friend doesn't get out of school

    til two, and I made it to her house at noon since I didn't have work til 5 and we planned to help bake another friends bf birthday cake. That background bs out of the way.. This story is more about a sandwich. A sandwich... An idiot... And I what I went through for it. I'll go...
    hitvl hitvl 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 16, 2013

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    Saying Hullo Again - You're Better Than You Think You Are

    I was reading a collection of papers by Michael White, and this particular set of paragraphs left daggers in my heart. I'm sharing it on here because I think that a lot of the people who find their way onto EP are the sorts of people who have been through the ringer in life, and...
    MovingForward28 MovingForward28 26-30, M 2 Responses Jul 28, 2010

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    Super Idiot

    So I was taking this marketing class for a minor in Business (which I can no longer do because of scheduling conflicts.... unless I want to stay in school a bit longer and I dont). ANYWAYS.... So here I am studying for my 4th test. I get the email from the TA saying the test is...
    Silver01ta Silver01ta 26-30, M 12 Responses May 2, 2008

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    For loving people who clearly have no feelings

    for me, For giving them my heart for them to treat it so badly, For yearning for their touch only to be laughed at, For missing people who Havant even given me a thought... Yes I am an idiot but I can't help who my heart loves x
    BrokenAngel35 BrokenAngel35 31-35, F Apr 5

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    I broke my arm for the first time in a

    children's ball pit. And I was a teenager In a children's ball pit
    theorangefreak theorangefreak 13-15, F 1 Response 2 days ago

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    And the Day Was Going So Well . . .

    This is why you start drinking after you go to the bottle shop. Well actually I'm not going to blame this one on alcohol, I only had a glass or two of red before we went (yes, I know, me and that bloody red wine . . . again). As the topic says, I am an idiot. We went to the...
    Deyve Deyve 19-21, M 3 Responses Jul 12, 2006

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    Definitely Am

    no matter what anyone says, i feel that i am definitely an idiot. i get confused easily, i don't understand science or math but there are a lot of people that don't so i guess that's not good enough. i just feel like one all the time though. whenever i say i am to a family member...
    paramore814 paramore814 16-17 1 Response Jan 27, 2008

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    I Sometime Say Thing I Regret

    I sometimes say things I regret, not that i even meant to say them that way,  it's just the way I say them gets me in trouble.  I then have to spend so much time explaining what I said or how I said it and what I meant to say.  I sometimes thing I should just...
    loopnscc loopnscc 46-50, M 8 Responses Feb 25, 2008

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    I Really Hate...

    How complicated I can make things sometimes! I guess it's my nature as an over-thinker, I miss the simpler answers... ugh!
    thejurg31 thejurg31 41-45, M Sep 17, 2012

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    Sometimes when I'm bored; I do really idiotic

    things. So this one time I was like "Huh, I wonder what it's like to pee like a guy." So I stood up, turned around, did this weird crouching/squatting thing and went to town. WORST THING EVER. I ended up just sitting backwards on the toilet. *Facepalm*
    EmaniLove03 EmaniLove03 16-17, F 1 Response Mar 18

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    I just made myself look a right ***.

    I saw this lady and instantly felt attracted to her, so obviously I approached her. I approach people often, so this was no biggy, right? Turns out, it was. I think my exact words were 'pretty erm pretty' followed by me clearing my throat and mumbling some other jibberish. WHY...
    Ryanholmes20375 Ryanholmes20375 18-21, M 1 Response Apr 12

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    NoLifeOnEP NoLifeOnEP 22-25, M 1 Response Aug 28, 2011

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    Really I don't even know

    why I wrote this it makes no sense
    owenbladetucker owenbladetucker 13-15 2 Responses Mar 15

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    haha! oh boy. I love this one.

    clearly I am the biggest idiot I know.
    deathismysoulmate deathismysoulmate 18-21 a week ago

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    Lexus Lexus 36-40, F 12 Responses Feb 12, 2008

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    I am a 47 year old man,

    and in looking back on my life and the things I have done, if there was an award for dumbest person alive? I'd be the sole winner Other than "retarded" my fathers second favorite name for me was "dummy" and given the things I've done since mom died five years ago on March 8th, he...
    AGothicOdyssey AGothicOdyssey 46-50, M 2 Responses Mar 19

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    Sorry

    Who first to apologize to. I must've looked like a ***** many times. ****, I screwed up many times. But I love you. Two people that I really loved. I do not know myself how I could have so much to hurt you. Now i pay the price
    Anja1234 Anja1234 18-21, F Oct 13, 2013

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    Blow Me

    first of all, **** all of you. secondly, there isn't any secondly,i'm eight sheets to the wind, never mind
    fhapy fhapy 13-15, F Apr 15, 2011

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    Blue Hair

    So I saw the Scott Pilgram movie for the first time the other night. When it was all said and done I found that I really wanted to find a women with her hair dyed strange colors. Blue (scott pilgram) or maybe orange (eternal sunshine of the spotless mind). Either way, i began...
    lblgsislife lblgsislife 22-25, M 1 Response Aug 21, 2011

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    Im An Idiot!!!

    i dont know why and i dont know how, but im an idiot!!! and im proud of being one!!! and in case your wondering, this is my first post on ep, and i cant think of anything else to say, so the first thing that came to mind was "i am an idiot"!!!!
    cowshed123 cowshed123 31-35, M 7 Responses Feb 3, 2009

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    Live and Learn.

    or in my case, just live. i make the same mistakes over and over and over again. it's like you know eating taco bell is going to give you the *****, but you do it anyways. why? because it's delicious. it's the little things like that that get me all the time. i know...
    lazyker lazyker 21-25, F Jun 22, 2007

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    I Was Fooled By My Wife,but I Pay Back

    My weakness is, I trust all easily. After marriage I was in 7 heavens as my wife is very beautiful .We was happy and I was proud to be husband of most beautiful wife.After six month of marriage, one day I went home early from my work. I was eager to see wife and wanted to have...
    bedluckisbad bedluckisbad 46-50, M 1 Response May 21, 2011

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    Im An Idiot

    Am an idiot in everything i do. Simple as that.
    Smilz2012 Smilz2012 18-21, F 3 Responses Jan 7, 2013

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    I'm An Idiot.

    Occasionally I have those dumb moments. But here's where the dumb really kicks in, I've failed my graduation tests each time I took them. (The ones I passed, I didn't have to take again) I don't know my grammar really well. Like where to put commas and stuff. I say really stupid...
    RiuChan RiuChan 18-21, F Nov 14, 2012

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    I Am An Idiot

    I met a guy 3 years ago, i felt like i had known him forever the first time we met - a nice comfortable feeling - not a physical connection, something more mental (i am in my 40's he is 10 yrs older).  Things went on and we became a couple, even though he said he did not...
    idiot101 idiot101 46-50 Feb 8, 2009

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    Lawn Mowers And Mountain Bikes Really Dont Mix Well...

    Yup, i decided to be smart again and reorganized the parts of a lawnmower, a mountain bike and a few 2x4's. Please oh please, DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME! http://mysmartestdecisions.wordpress.com/2011/12/28/lawnmower-moutain-bike/
    lblgsislife lblgsislife 22-25, M Dec 30, 2011

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    Yes I Am

    yes i am an idiot i dont know how to speak with people how to behave with them everytime i make friends and everytime i lose them because of my foolishness and idiotic behaviour i think the title idiot suits me and some of them will be really happy to know that im an idiot but...
    guuyy guuyy 22-25, M 2 Responses Apr 10, 2012

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    Hit And Run On The Recycle Barrel

    Well..this is a new one..I backed up and forgot the barrel was close to my car. Oops!  Man, I gotta pay attention to my surroundings. No day dreaming allowed when driving, thank you very much. Luckily the Huge contraption is on wheels. I sorta rolled it back..didn't feel a thing...
    wiseowl wiseowl 61-65, F 4 Responses Aug 19, 2011

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    I Can't Deny It ..

    i am a mess, an idiot, a waste .. i now don't know how to look at myself at the mirror, because everytime i do, it reflects all the mess, all the sins i've done ! i am an INDIOT!!!! i am very angry with myself ! and very very very angry with who i am !
    bloodytears15 bloodytears15 18-21, F 2 Responses Jun 18, 2012

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    Naty13 Naty13 13-15, F 4 Responses Mar 14

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    One Example...

    I work in an office...safe work environment, right?Leave it up to me to trip over a box of files and sprain my ankle!And of course I have to do double incident reports and worker's comp claims since I'm a temp...UGH!!I feel like such an idiotic clutz!
    kzoodiana kzoodiana 36-40, F Mar 28, 2012

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    Related Experiences

    All idiots will be blocked from making idiotic comments about my stories or posts. I do not have time for your crap so either post an appropriate comment or take it somewhere else...
    ebonynbill ebonynbill 26-30, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    Two young idiots were camping out in the forest one night. But the mosquitoes Were so fierce that the boys had to hide under their blankets to keep from getting bitten. The one of...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Mar 20

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    Fk why do i do this every time. I always say the wrong thing and the whole good time gets spoiled. I fking hate myself for this is swear. I shouldn't be allowed to talk.. Im really...
    MissUnderstoodx MissUnderstoodx 18-21, F Mar 24

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    I just was informed that you can use a computer to use this thing. this whole time i thought it was a phone app and i wasnt loving it feel like an idiot for being so excited
    punkrokpixie punkrokpixie 31-35, F Mar 30

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    Yes, I think I am an idiot far too much of the time. I mean how many times can you make the exact same mistake, knowing that you are making the exact same mistake, yet somehow...
    TKD1 TKD1 46-50, F 1 Response Mar 31

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    I'm not exactly smart myself, but occasionally I see someone doing something so stupid I want to stop what I'm doing, walk over, and scream "YOU ARE AN IDIOT‼ I HAVE MORE...
    ExplorerJoe ExplorerJoe 16-17, M 1 Response Apr 11

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