As I like to say:
Person after I make a joke or smartass comment: "You're a smartass."
Me: "Yup. Better than being a dumbass."
Ha Ha!!! Cracked me up today!!
Yeah cuz some people are ******* idiots were it's Just funny ******* with them
Im not saying I'm old and worn out, but I do make sure I'm nowhere near the curb on trash day.
Indeed I am!! HA-CHA-CHA! *snickers*
I was out at a meals on wheels charity event with my parents and kids tonight. My mom had driven their new Land rover LR4 there and had given me the Key-fob so she didn't have to...
It gets worse by the year
I like humor. I like oblique humor. I like to tease.
But I'm also willing to make fun of myself.
So it balances.
Keep on going and chances are you will stumble on something, perhaps when you are least expecting it. I have never heard of anyone stumbling on something sitting down.
Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.
I used to be in a relationship which ended because I made too many drugs puns. At least, that's what my ex-Stacey says.
i told my daughter to make up the bed. She made it up partially and then sat down to look at a bath product. she held it up and said "what does this do"? i said "it's specially...
Life's hard. If you're stupid it's harder.
My friend: "Were you dropped on your head when you were little?"
Me: "Yes, in a pool of sexy."
You can't always control who walks into your life but you can control which window you throw them out of !!
what's wrong with you?
lots of things you want a list chronological or alphabetically
It isn't that I'm not a people person; I'm not a stupid people person.
when I was growing up I'd get in trouble a few times . mom would ground me from my Nintendo (NES before PlayStation really got its start). I used to say OK I understand why I'm...
When I have an awkward situation I've r the phone I just say have you ever heard a truck go backwards? Then hang up.
I'm rude smart *** ***** but I like it
If the shoe fits, lace that ***** up
*****.. Don't kill my vibe 😁😂
I'm not fat. It's just my awesomeness swelling up inside me.
I try to avoid rolling a joint,
but if I do, it's usually my ankle
I hate when people call me antisocial. I always say I'm not antisocial I'm selectively social. There's a difference.
I dunno why I be like this. I guess I see words as a battlefield, taking any shot I can. Battle and glory and stuff. Sometimes I miss and completely cause something unwanted, or I...
I'm not nosy I'm curious! Why can't people see that!!
All because the lady loves Cadburys and the drummer 😘
You may find over the weekend that a ...
I apologize in advance it will come out and it's not personal it's meant all for a laugh.
The letter M is very rare in the English language.
You only see it once in a Blue Moon!
I'm out at my work. Most of the other faculty members accept me for who I am, but there's always that one person who asks a stupid question or a comment. Well it happened earlier...
Coffee: the original first responder
husband is trying to watch a movie. Kids are being loud he's telling them be quiet I can't hear ****. I said if I put my butthole up to your ear you would.
Trying to understand humanity is like trying to analyze each individual grain of sand on a beach. It just would take too much time and an incredible effort. I give up trying to...
So 1alwaysdreaming comes to save Experience Project? Cool idea, you guys should probably be familiar with me, but for those who are new, my name is Hindolo and I came out the...
My boyfriend is going around messing with people on EP....there's a 98% chance he's said a smartass comment on anyone's and everyone's posts....
(((Thinking I shouldn't have showed...