I am a natural born smartass because I know that deciding where and what to it is the start of a divorce or break up.
I'd rather be a smartass than a dumbass :)
My work is on fire lol but im on the clock for 30 more minutes so i have to stand outside til then
Absolute late but hell... Happy New Years... Lol
I've been called one, but I can't sit on a bowl of Baskin Robbins and tell you which of the 31 flavors it is.
without being smart, you're just an ***...
Where do i start ?
I get annoyed easily , im very short tempered as well . I maybe calm & ' holding my tongue at first , but afterwhile you can only push my " ANNOYANCE BUTTON...
When life gives you lemons, buy some vodka and have a party!
I can flame a sambuca in my mouth.
Well at least that's what my grandma tells me
I turned up at a fancy dress party dressed as a football.
I was immediately kicked out
Mom : What do you want from the grocery store?
Me : Food.
Mom : *sigh* What type of food?
Me : The type you eat.
Mom : *goes silent*
Yup...and I tell it like it is.
Deal with it. LOL
That awkward moment when your sarcasm is so good, people actually think you're stupid..
This pretty much sums me up! Lol
Better than being a dumb ***.
I was in math class and I got bored so I started to doodle a skull (it's not weird I was trying to sketch from memory of a tv bones) anyway so she of course called on me and I...
Boyfriend: what are you wearing?
Boyfriend: ugh, you always know how to ruin a moment
Me: lol... okayy...
A letter G walks into a Hexadecimal bar,
The bar man says, "Why the wrong base?"
When people ask me something like , what kind of weed you have i be like "the good kind" .
My spam folder is full of e-mails offering cheap Viagra. They must think I'm a soft target.
My mouth gets my bottom in trouble sometimes.
hii ..ne bdy wannabe frnd..New in this grp
i get grounded a lot for this, its whatever. but not really. i got kind of suspended from school for the rest of the week. i really didnt say anything this time, some one assumes i...
I have to be careful sometimes because while I think I'm pretty hilarious, not everyone does.
I'm a ***** and I like being one and I don't care if people don't like it. I'm only nice to people that deserve it, not old pedophiles & creeps & douchebags that act like their...
A lot of people never notice the value of material producing And just how crucial it truly is to not simply throw sloppy textual content on the sites or distribute them to short...
I was a very unhappy red diaper baby. My mother was a hard core CP member of the post WWII underground variety, a classic old time Marxist-Leninist-Stalinist. I didn't make the...
As far as I'm concerned they truly look incredible. With a glow and a natural beauty.A pregnant woman is a gorgeous woman.
hey miss, how come you don't respond to my messages? i'm sorry i just cant help myself but contact you,send messages and if i knew your number. guess what, ill be calling you day...
The lady was a southern woman who attended church services and taught Sunday School every week.
One Sunday, an out of town acquaintance, a gentleman, was in the pew right behind...
I am trapped. im trapped in a life i don't want, in this prison of flesh. i keep writing, hoping it will lessen the pain but it doesn't help. I don't think there is anything that...
Hershey's cookies n creme is incredible.
Books are incredible! You know it's a good book when you can read it and get lost in the book. Like it's a movie in your mind.
Absolutely. I'm in a cyber affair right now and he's wickedly smart, funny, teases me in a playful manner, is cheeky, always beats me (almost always) at WWF and I find it the most...
Burroughs, Kerouac, Ginsberg, Corso, Cassady, Whalen... all these incredible personalties, writers and poets. I can't believe there is nothing already on here already.
Dedicated to the sheriff in our parish...BTW...it's farewell, NOT fair well!!!! (Just me being a smartass).....
What is it that we chase, fame, beauty, money, love, perfection or happiness..
I had it all.. I lost it.. When I had it, I surrounded with people and yet so lonely.. When I lost...