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I Am Ashamed of Myself

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,251 People

    I secretly got married 2 years ago

    after only knowning my husband for 3 months, the only people that know are a few friends. My parents are very old fashioned and would have never accepted him so I secretly married him hoping that one day I would tell them and they would have to deal with it. My marriage went...
    rainbowcloudkisses rainbowcloudkisses 26-30, F 1 Response Nov 6, 2014

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    I've been so stupid,

    and I need some advice.. Basically since the police were involved with everything, I did send a few more and sh.t, and the thing is, I can't stop. I want to, honestly I really do, but it's like a part of me wants to be a sl*t, and send pictures. I've done so much sh*t it's...
    loveyourselfalwaysxx loveyourselfalwaysxx 13-15, F 2 Responses Mar 18, 2014

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    Not In My Nature.

    Something bad had occurred when I was just seventeen. A very bad decision that threw me into a very deep depression. I can't believe I even went through with that decision. It was one of the worst decisions I could ever make and, to be honest, it wasn't ME. The decision...
    EllaRose EllaRose 18-21, F 16 Responses Dec 24, 2008

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    I am in a really bad place at the moment,

    I can't believe I have come this far in life and ended up with nothing but debt. I have worked full time since I left school years ago, I used to be married with my own house, now I rent and live with my son. These last 5 years have been hard and I've used my credit cards to...
    Thisstupidlife Thisstupidlife 46-50, F Oct 10, 2014

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    I made a big mistake.

    I was working in a place that was very toxic with a overbearing director and supervisor. I was looking for a new job since my boss listened into my calls, micromanaged my work and threatened my job. There was a training that I needed to go to, but the director has been...
    LilyLove2014 LilyLove2014 31-35, F 2 Responses Jun 11, 2014

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    I'm ashamed that I used to be

    so whiny and a complainer. I used to be dramatic and I cut myself. I feel so stupid for acting that way in school. My family was poor, I was bullied because my clothes didn't fit right. We lived in a nasty old trailer. My parents were old and sick.It hurt me to know they wouldn...
    tinywoman tinywoman 18-21, F 2 Responses Oct 6, 2014

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    Self hatred is a sucky thing,

    indeed. I've been plagued with a bad case of it that began at a young age. As a child, I saw that I wasn't as thin as the other kids - my teeth, not as straight - and I began to dislike my differences. It's progressed and worsened as the years have gone by. The voice in the back...
    alexandr4 alexandr4 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 5, 2014

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    I have done and said some pretty despicable

    things to people. I have a tendency to inconvenience others with my irrationality.
    Mojopins Mojopins 18-21, F Nov 26, 2014

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    Shame

    Shame is so painful to the psyche that most people will do anything to avoid it, even though it’s a natural emotion that everyone has. It’s a physiologic response of the autonomic nervous system. You might blush, have a rapid heartbeat, break into a sweat, freeze, hang your...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Jul 6, 2013

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    I Am A Disgrace

    My whole life..Ive been shunned.No Freinds, My parents have never been there for me.I went around and messed around with Drugs and Alchohol.The only person that was their for me was God.Last May I got expelled....I started dating the girl of my dreams last year and now this year...
    EdSAINTDINO EdSAINTDINO 18-21, M 3 Responses May 25, 2011

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    I Think I Have Too Much Time On My Hands...

    I get online and I make this virtual connections and I never learn they are not real. That these people would never be interested in meeting me in real life. That I am just entertainment. No matter how many time I get disappointed I find myself logging on again. How utterly...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Nov 28, 2012

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    I Hate Me.

    I broke up with my boyfriend today. I don't know if I over reacted. I was feeling really depressed last night, but it was really late and I didn't want to wake him so I texted him saying I was depressed and would really like to see him today. In the morning he texted me back...
    imgettingthere imgettingthere 18-21, F 4 Responses Aug 26, 2011

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    1 Mil. Reasons....

    i am ashamed of my past and the fact that i had 20 boyfriends. it killes me now when i think what a stupid girl i`ve been. maibe that`s why i believe i deserve how my husband is treating me. you know..."what goes around, comes around". i`m ashamed of myself for not...
    BetterMe BetterMe 31-35, F 4 Responses Jul 5, 2009

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    Stufy Stufy 46-50 1 Response Sep 24, 2014

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    I'm ashamed that a lot of the time i do

    everything possible so i look male and i just dont feel normal when i change genders. I know its not in my control but i often feel ashamed of my sexuality and gender.
    ricequeenn ricequeenn 18-21, M Nov 5, 2014

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    this may sound odd. I'm not sure,

    but I feel ashamed me because of what I haven't done. I'm only 22 but I feel like my life has been kind of meaningless.
    EFairy EFairy 22-25, F 1 Response Nov 26, 2014

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    I lost my virginity at the age of 6.

    I didn't want him to take it but now it's gone. I've done horrible things with men but I never wanted to.
    ameliaandmore ameliaandmore 16-17, F 1 Response Jan 14, 2014

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    I can never seem to make myself proud.

    I am horribly ashamed of almost everything I do. Where is my self respect and respect for others. Where are my morals that I held so dear. Where is the innocent girl who just wanted to love and be amazed by the world's beauty. When did i become so roughened.
    Awakening29 Awakening29 26-30, F 4 Responses Jul 19, 2014

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    Sometimes I do things

    that I'm ashamed of. I don't know why I do them. Maybe I just do it for the attention. After it's over I feel so ashamed and disgusting and dirty. There isn't enough soap and hot water that I can use to scrub the feeling off my skin.
    ShyGirlie78 ShyGirlie78 36-40, F 6 Responses Apr 14, 2014

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    A Wasted Life

    I never appreciated that my father lacked ambition. Some how, i have managed to inherit this. I cannot self motivate, and in so doing become that while i hated. I dont blame anyone else but me and know that my failures in life have to do with ONE thing. ONE common denominator: Me...
    kaishakunin kaishakunin 26-30 2 Responses Sep 30, 2012

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    How Could I Ever!!!!

    Leave my kids.........that is my shame.  I left them.  Abandoned them.  I never returned home.  No explantion.  Just left. I had taken enough.  The years of lies.  Of humiliation.  Of abandonment.  Of never being good enough. Of not counting.  Of being discarded.  Of...
    flodials flodials 41-45, F 9 Responses Apr 12, 2012

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    Finaly Out!

    am really ashamed of what i did in the past.....when i was 13 years old i had sex with my brother and my cousin brother the same night.i now feel so dirty and ashamed of myself! i wish to turn bark the clock and stop that day! i cant face my brother or my cousin now.
    epvanilla epvanilla 22-25, F 3 Responses Jul 13, 2012

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    loloasd loloasd 41-45, F 1 Response Jun 13, 2014

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    Many small actions I took in my past cause me

    suffering now. When I think of what things I said to people, I feel like I should be hated for who I am. It does not make sense, but everything that hurts me now is something which I did not understand and did not know that I was doing. In fact, some of the conversations I feel...
    ResidentGoddessAstraea ResidentGoddessAstraea 18-21 May 7, 2014

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    Lost my virginity to someone

    who didn't deserve to de-flower me. I thought it was love but definitely isn't.
    isabellaalyssia isabellaalyssia 13-15, F 2 Responses Nov 6, 2014

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    I just came back from swimming tryouts

    when I'm sick and threw up 3 times at school before the tryouts. Probably didn't make it on the team for sure. But my coach said I can try out a different time. I just feel so embarrassed.
    AtlPunk1D AtlPunk1D 13-15, F 2 Responses Nov 6, 2014

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    I am ashamed of my sexuality

    and my obsession with the topic of sex. It would be easier if I knew what my sexuality was, then maybe I wouldn't think about sexuality so much.
    TryingToLoveLifeNow TryingToLoveLifeNow 18-21, F 3 Responses Feb 15, 2014

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    Holes In The Wall

    The last time she threatened divorce was over a month ago. It used to be that when she said she was leaving, I would go on bended knee, begging her to stay. Gradually, I tried less and less. Eventually, I told her that the next time she said she was leaving that I wanted her...
    accomplice accomplice 41-45, M 23 Responses May 17, 2011

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    I'm So Afraid..

    I'm a 19 year old girl. My mom raised me up single handedly and has been the support system in my life. My mom and dad lived separately, my only memory of him was when I was about 5, I saw them quarreling, and then he shove her aside and left the house. I thought to myself, 'I'll...
    SoPetrified SoPetrified 18-21, F 2 Responses Oct 19, 2012

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    WARNING: Rambles ahead.

    Sunday night. Ugh. How humiliating. I don't even know what all I said or did, but I know it wasn't my proudest moment. Apparently my hobbies include getting drunk, making bad decisions, and making a fool of myself. -_- Anyways, a total surprise message correspondence today...
    CaptainHowdy21 CaptainHowdy21 22-25, F Jan 14, 2014

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    I feel ashamed for being depressed about my

    life. I'm 21 and both my parents are gone. I have no one to rely on, but myself and my wonderful boyfriend. A lot of my friends have had horrible lives. All my life I've heard "what are you complaining about, my life is much worse than yours." I feel so ashamed for feeling...
    tinywoman tinywoman 18-21, F 2 Responses Dec 29, 2014

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    Being A Failure.

    Acting irresponsibly, running away, never doing anything right, then hiding, running away or being irresponsible because of it again. Fear always overwhelms me, they say "fight!, it's normal to be scared"... but I can't. I can't fight. I'm so ashamed, I can't do anything! I can...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Jun 11, 2010

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    What am I even? I'm not pretty.

    Not funny. Not likable. Boring. Ugly. Fat. My friends say I'm opposite, and I used to think the same, but it slowly started to turn.
    PanicAtTheDiscount PanicAtTheDiscount 13-15, F Jun 13, 2014

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    How I Ruined The Only Thing I Have Ever Been Good At.

    I was in the United States Navy. I was a Hospital Corpsman. I picked up rank in almost Navy history record breaking time. I chose to attach to the Marine Corps. I lost 40 lbs. and became one of the most influential people in my unit. Everyone looked up to me and came for advice...
    Helikma Helikma 22-25 3 Responses Nov 11, 2011

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    I'M Ashamed Of My Thoughts.

    For as long as I remember I have been fantasizing about men spanking me. Usually it's my teachers but sometimes even complete strangers, I used to try everything to stop thinking about it but when my guard was down I was fantasizing again. Growing up I was so ashamed and kept...
    TheMrsGiggles TheMrsGiggles 18-21, F 3 Responses Aug 31, 2013

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    My parents have made it clear

    since I was young that I am expected to be this dominant woman with no emotions that can handle anything thrown at her with grace. On the outside I can push my emotions down and pretend for awhile but I am ashamed that I am nothing like that on the inside. The real me is scared...
    Kpopcrazy3661 Kpopcrazy3661 18-21, F 6 Responses Nov 18, 2014

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    There are many things one should not do,

    or think. I understand that, but still, my mind goes places where it shouldn't, and I feel things that I know I shouldn't. I feel so guilty, oh so guilty.
    LuckyNChance LuckyNChance 26-30, M Jan 11

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    If there is anyone who should be

    so ashamed of himself to the point of wearing a mask over his face out on public it is me. I am 47 years old. And the shameful part is I never left the nest. I lived with my parents until they died. My reason, and it's no excuse, I am sick to death of excuses is I was safe from...
    ATroubledLife ATroubledLife 46-50, M 1 Response Apr 13, 2014

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    I Have No Right To Complain

    I'm ashamed of my depression. A constant unyielding cycle that makes me ungrateful for everything good I have. All I can see are my flaws, failures and regrets. I am more or less solvent, I own a house, have a freelance business that is doing ok. I don't have any reason or right...
    mcNod mcNod 31-35, M 4 Responses Nov 28, 2009

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    So volleyball try outs at a new school my

    sophomore year. I had been sick for 3 weeks and was still sick on my try out day. Found out I had bronchitis and had started my period that day. I go to my try out, the teams practice. All they were doing was serving and these drills I didn't know because they taught them over...
    connieawaller connieawaller 16-17, F 2 Responses Nov 6, 2014

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    Ever since this girl first walked into our

    school for the first time, I couldn't take my eyes off her, and I know I probably wasn't the only one gazing at her beauty. Through my mind I was thinking "you know what, I'm gonna try to talk to her, I need to man up, I need to know how to talk to a girl and here's my first...
    elugo123456789 elugo123456789 18-21, M Apr 3, 2014

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    I was a boy studying in 9th Std.

    I was pretty and handsome. I was a brilliant student too. Because of this some boys felt jealous. So they taught me bad things. But I was not caring them. What Happened was........
    1920er 1920er 26-30, M 1 Response Feb 22, 2014

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    Why must I hurt the person I love

    so much and lie to them.. He's slipping away and I want to spend the rest of my life with him.. Don't know what to do...
    Reneeamamda Reneeamamda 22-25, F 2 Responses Nov 5, 2014

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    My whole entire life is one continuous cycle of

    being ashamed. Whether it's my body, my personality, my clothes, the way I speak, my socioeconomic status, the people I love, my views on certain subjects, my actions, anything. I am ashamed.
    RuinedAndLost RuinedAndLost 18-21, F 2 Responses May 13, 2014

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    My biggest problem right

    now is not knowing how to handle the most basic situations. I find myself stuck, unable to explain myself, or my feelings, throwing everything into a box, only have it all blown in my face last minute. I don't even allow myself to feel what I SHOULD feel in particular moments. I...
    Mirabal19 Mirabal19 18-21, F Apr 13, 2014

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    Related Experiences

    It hasn't been 2015 for 3 weeks, and already I'm so ashamed, confused, depressed. Last year at her party I kissed the brother of my bestfriends friend and she got a little pissed...
    imdonewiththis imdonewiththis 16-17, F Jan 12

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    I have always been willing sacrifice my happiness for the people i love. I recently have found myself in a situation where i wronged a friend and i apologised sincerely for it but...
    outragedbamboo outragedbamboo 22-25 2 Responses 8 hrs ago

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    I feel like I do of course im a walking contradiction so maybe im not after all..uhhh I dont know why the hell it's so hard for me to give a crap about myself anymore unless I have...
    simpleandpossible simpleandpossible 22-25, F 1 Response Jan 8

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    About two weeks ago now me and my then boyfriend got into and argument. We went to a friend of his birthday and were having a great time. We went over to the dance floor and were...
    chenchanlo chenchanlo 26-30, F 3 days ago

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    This is a confession. I will not use names, to protect the people involved. This is not something I've ever told anyone before. This is 98% of the reason I'm such a wreck. So here...
    PorcelainGrenade PorcelainGrenade 13-15, F 6 Responses Jan 19

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    I like the way this website has all of these "sponsored from around the web" images of before and after pictures and botox, etc. trying to sell crap to the people who hate...
    Lucyismycat Lucyismycat 31-35 6 days ago