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I Am Ashamed of Myself

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,386 People

    this may sound odd. I'm not sure,

    but I feel ashamed me because of what I haven't done. I'm only 22 but I feel like my life has been kind of meaningless.
    EFairy EFairy 22-25, F 1 Response Nov 26, 2014

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    my hole life has led up to a ****** sitcho!

    ! i cant have sex i cant work well i cant have fun i cant feel love or love i cant do a simple task as look after myself or even have a good time, i sit here day after day thinking what i can do but i know it is all from the choices I made i do not want to die but what is the...
    pleasehelpme27 pleasehelpme27 26-30, M Mar 17

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    Not In My Nature.

    Something bad had occurred when I was just seventeen. A very bad decision that threw me into a very deep depression. I can't believe I even went through with that decision. It was one of the worst decisions I could ever make and, to be honest, it wasn't ME. The decision...
    EllaRose EllaRose 18-21, F 16 Responses Dec 24, 2008

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    I really messed up today.

    I feel like a dirty birdie. You might as well call me that. I feel disgusting and ashamed. Why me? I was a good girl but I blew it. I feel like I can never forgive myself. I am a disappointment. I cant change the past. I hope I can forget it.
    ChelseaMonroe ChelseaMonroe 26-30, F 2 Responses Feb 14

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    What am I even? I'm not pretty.

    Not funny. Not likable. Boring. Ugly. Fat. My friends say I'm opposite, and I used to think the same, but it slowly started to turn.
    PanicAtTheDiscount PanicAtTheDiscount 13-15, F Jun 13, 2014

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    Once again I am ashamed of myself.

    I opened my heart and my home to someone I only knew for a month. A month is not long enough to know someone. This guy stole my medication. I guess it could have been worse. I could have been beaten, raped, or robbed. He did teach me a powerful lesson. Do not trust.
    ShyGirlie78 ShyGirlie78 36-40, F 3 Responses Feb 18

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    I Have No Right To Complain

    I'm ashamed of my depression. A constant unyielding cycle that makes me ungrateful for everything good I have. All I can see are my flaws, failures and regrets. I am more or less solvent, I own a house, have a freelance business that is doing ok. I don't have any reason or right...
    mcNod mcNod 31-35, M 4 Responses Nov 28, 2009

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    I secretly got married 2 years ago

    after only knowning my husband for 3 months, the only people that know are a few friends. My parents are very old fashioned and would have never accepted him so I secretly married him hoping that one day I would tell them and they would have to deal with it. My marriage went...
    rainbowcloudkisses rainbowcloudkisses 26-30, F 2 Responses Nov 6, 2014

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    My parents have made it clear

    since I was young that I am expected to be this dominant woman with no emotions that can handle anything thrown at her with grace. On the outside I can push my emotions down and pretend for awhile but I am ashamed that I am nothing like that on the inside. The real me is scared...
    Kpopcrazy3661 Kpopcrazy3661 18-21, F 5 Responses Nov 18, 2014

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    Why must I hurt the person I love

    so much and lie to them.. He's slipping away and I want to spend the rest of my life with him.. Don't know what to do...
    Reneeamamda Reneeamamda 26-30, F 2 Responses Nov 5, 2014

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    I can never seem to make myself proud.

    I am horribly ashamed of almost everything I do. Where is my self respect and respect for others. Where are my morals that I held so dear. Where is the innocent girl who just wanted to love and be amazed by the world's beauty. When did i become so roughened.
    Awakening29 Awakening29 26-30, F 4 Responses Jul 19, 2014

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    I have been suffering from depression

    and loneliness People don't get me and when they try to help it really doesn't help but makes me feel good for just a few minutes A situation happen I haven't been going to school much these days And my teacher called then my mom called me father who Is away over seas and that...
    LeahLoveeU LeahLoveeU 13-15, F 7 Responses Mar 3

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    Many small actions I took in my past cause me

    suffering now. When I think of what things I said to people, I feel like I should be hated for who I am. It does not make sense, but everything that hurts me now is something which I did not understand and did not know that I was doing. In fact, some of the conversations I feel...
    ResidentGoddessAstraea ResidentGoddessAstraea 18-21 May 7, 2014

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    I feel ashamed for being depressed about my

    life. I'm 21 and both my parents are gone. I have no one to rely on, but myself and my wonderful boyfriend. A lot of my friends have had horrible lives. All my life I've heard "what are you complaining about, my life is much worse than yours." I feel so ashamed for feeling...
    tinywoman tinywoman 18-21, F 2 Responses Dec 29, 2014

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    So volleyball try outs at a new school my

    sophomore year. I had been sick for 3 weeks and was still sick on my try out day. Found out I had bronchitis and had started my period that day. I go to my try out, the teams practice. All they were doing was serving and these drills I didn't know because they taught them over...
    connieawaller connieawaller 16-17, F 2 Responses Nov 6, 2014

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    Being A Failure.

    Acting irresponsibly, running away, never doing anything right, then hiding, running away or being irresponsible because of it again. Fear always overwhelms me, they say "fight!, it's normal to be scared"... but I can't. I can't fight. I'm so ashamed, I can't do anything! I can...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Jun 11, 2010

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    I sexted a random girl she asked me to send

    pictures, I was an idiot, she said she was going to post them on Instagram, I am terrified
    jehaman jehaman 13-15, M 2 Responses May 7

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    There are many things one should not do,

    or think. I understand that, but still, my mind goes places where it shouldn't, and I feel things that I know I shouldn't. I feel so guilty, oh so guilty.
    LuckyNChance LuckyNChance 26-30, M Jan 11

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    Shame

    Shame is so painful to the psyche that most people will do anything to avoid it, even though it’s a natural emotion that everyone has. It’s a physiologic response of the autonomic nervous system. You might blush, have a rapid heartbeat, break into a sweat, freeze, hang your...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Jul 6, 2013

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    My whole entire life is one continuous cycle of

    being ashamed. Whether it's my body, my personality, my clothes, the way I speak, my socioeconomic status, the people I love, my views on certain subjects, my actions, anything. I am ashamed.
    RuinedAndLost RuinedAndLost 18-21, F 2 Responses May 13, 2014

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    All those times I criticized people

    for not taking a stand and fight, it turns out I have come to eat my words. It's easy to risk your own life. Yes, it is easy to say a person is willing to die for what he believes in. But, that is just for your own life. It is not easy to risk other people's lives. It is not...
    mareliberum mareliberum 26-30 1 Response May 7

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    Sometimes I do things

    that I'm ashamed of. I don't know why I do them. Maybe I just do it for the attention. After it's over I feel so ashamed and disgusting and dirty. There isn't enough soap and hot water that I can use to scrub the feeling off my skin.
    ShyGirlie78 ShyGirlie78 36-40, F 8 Responses Apr 14, 2014

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    I just came back from swimming tryouts

    when I'm sick and threw up 3 times at school before the tryouts. Probably didn't make it on the team for sure. But my coach said I can try out a different time. I just feel so embarrassed.
    KidLeftInTheDark KidLeftInTheDark 13-15, F 2 Responses Nov 6, 2014

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    Dear God, I pray that I get to have the courage

    and the perseverance to fight and not care of the risks involved. I am truly ashamed of myself. If it was only myself, I would have no second thoughts initiating the process. However, too many people are at risk. Dear God, I am now doing the complete opposite of my ideals. How...
    mareliberum mareliberum 26-30 6 days ago

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    I've been so stupid,

    and I need some advice.. Basically since the police were involved with everything, I did send a few more and sh.t, and the thing is, I can't stop. I want to, honestly I really do, but it's like a part of me wants to be a sl*t, and send pictures. I've done so much sh*t it's...
    loveyourselfalwaysxx loveyourselfalwaysxx 13-15, F 2 Responses Mar 18, 2014

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    Lost my virginity to someone

    who didn't deserve to de-flower me. I thought it was love but definitely isn't.
    isabellaalyssia isabellaalyssia 16-17, F 2 Responses Nov 6, 2014

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    I am. I won't admit itvto anyone.

    they all think I got it together. They think I'm strong, confident, smart and always "dialed in". I'm not. I'm broke, inside. Something happens that day. And since I have felt like a failure, saw a failure starring back in the mirror, watched my dreams, careers, finances...
    puddlejumper01 puddlejumper01 31-35, M 19 hrs ago

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    Every day, every time I go to school I learn to

    become more and more ashamed of myself then I currently am. Everybody always has to point out the bad of me. Even the person I used to call my best friend. Things are so different anymore. And I hate it. I'm just beginning to hate myself. Because how can I love myself when...
    TheMasterMan1 TheMasterMan1 16-17, M 2 Responses Apr 24

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    I Hate This Ashamed Feeling

    I just feel ashamed of myself. I remember saying in the 10th grade that I was ashamed to be black. When I look in the mirror, I don't like what I see. I wouldn't be friends with me, if I was someone else. I sometimes wish I was white so that white boys will be more attracted to...
    expressTHRUdance expressTHRUdance 18-21 1 Response Feb 23, 2009

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    I have done and said some pretty despicable

    things to people. I have a tendency to inconvenience others with my irrationality.
    Dreambrother Dreambrother 18-21, F Nov 26, 2014

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    I Think I Have Too Much Time On My Hands...

    I get online and I make this virtual connections and I never learn they are not real. That these people would never be interested in meeting me in real life. That I am just entertainment. No matter how many time I get disappointed I find myself logging on again. How utterly...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Nov 28, 2012

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    My biggest problem right

    now is not knowing how to handle the most basic situations. I find myself stuck, unable to explain myself, or my feelings, throwing everything into a box, only have it all blown in my face last minute. I don't even allow myself to feel what I SHOULD feel in particular moments. I...
    Mirabal19 Mirabal19 18-21, F Apr 13, 2014

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    Holes In The Wall

    The last time she threatened divorce was over a month ago. It used to be that when she said she was leaving, I would go on bended knee, begging her to stay. Gradually, I tried less and less. Eventually, I told her that the next time she said she was leaving that I wanted her...
    accomplice accomplice 46-50, M 22 Responses May 17, 2011

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    I Am A Disgrace

    My whole life..Ive been shunned.No Freinds, My parents have never been there for me.I went around and messed around with Drugs and Alchohol.The only person that was their for me was God.Last May I got expelled....I started dating the girl of my dreams last year and now this year...
    EdSAINTDINO EdSAINTDINO 18-21, M 3 Responses May 25, 2011

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    I am in a really bad place at the moment,

    I can't believe I have come this far in life and ended up with nothing but debt. I have worked full time since I left school years ago, I used to be married with my own house, now I rent and live with my son. These last 5 years have been hard and I've used my credit cards to...
    Thisstupidlife Thisstupidlife 46-50, F Oct 10, 2014

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    I'M Ashamed Of My Thoughts.

    For as long as I remember I have been fantasizing about men spanking me. Usually it's my teachers but sometimes even complete strangers, I used to try everything to stop thinking about it but when my guard was down I was fantasizing again. Growing up I was so ashamed and kept...
    TheMrsGiggles TheMrsGiggles 18-21, F 3 Responses Aug 31, 2013

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    How Could I Ever!!!!

    Leave my kids.........that is my shame.  I left them.  Abandoned them.  I never returned home.  No explantion.  Just left. I had taken enough.  The years of lies.  Of humiliation.  Of abandonment.  Of never being good enough. Of not counting.  Of being discarded.  Of...
    flodials flodials 41-45, F 9 Responses Apr 12, 2012

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    Went out with wife and her work friends to a

    somewhat erotic show. We shared a hotel room with one of her work friends so we did not have to drive. I was pretty drunk and I apparently I woke up during night and ***********. My wife's friend did not sleep well and caught my show ( my wife slept through it). How embarrassing...
    Jakewagon Jakewagon 41-45, M 1 Response May 2

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    I made a big mistake.

    I was working in a place that was very toxic with a overbearing director and supervisor. I was looking for a new job since my boss listened into my calls, micromanaged my work and threatened my job. There was a training that I needed to go to, but the director has been...
    LilyLove2014 LilyLove2014 31-35, F 2 Responses Jun 11, 2014

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    I'm ashamed that I used to be

    so whiny and a complainer. I used to be dramatic and I cut myself. I feel so stupid for acting that way in school. My family was poor, I was bullied because my clothes didn't fit right. We lived in a nasty old trailer. My parents were old and sick.It hurt me to know they wouldn...
    tinywoman tinywoman 18-21, F 2 Responses Oct 6, 2014

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    loloasd loloasd 41-45, F 1 Response Jun 13, 2014

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    Self hatred is a sucky thing,

    indeed. I've been plagued with a bad case of it that began at a young age. As a child, I saw that I wasn't as thin as the other kids - my teeth, not as straight - and I began to dislike my differences. It's progressed and worsened as the years have gone by. The voice in the back...
    alexandr4 alexandr4 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 5, 2014

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    I'm ashamed that a lot of the time i do

    everything possible so i look male and i just dont feel normal when i change genders. I know its not in my control but i often feel ashamed of my sexuality and gender.
    KingNotQueen KingNotQueen 18-21, M Nov 5, 2014

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    If there is anyone who should be

    so ashamed of himself to the point of wearing a mask over his face out on public it is me. I am 47 years old. And the shameful part is I never left the nest. I lived with my parents until they died. My reason, and it's no excuse, I am sick to death of excuses is I was safe from...
    ATroubledLife ATroubledLife 46-50, M 1 Response Apr 13, 2014

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    I am ashamed of my sexuality

    and my obsession with the topic of sex. It would be easier if I knew what my sexuality was, then maybe I wouldn't think about sexuality so much.
    TryingToLoveLifeNow TryingToLoveLifeNow 18-21, F 4 Responses Feb 15, 2014

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