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I Am Awesome, Dude

Looking for literary contributions or anything that suits your fancy! 154 People

    Deported

    I'm getting deported. They're sending me back to my native country. I'm from Antarctica originally. They're sending me back on the next flight to the South Pole. I didn't mean to enter the U.S. illegally. I was standing on the edge of the ice one day at home in the South...
    flipper1966 flipper1966 56-60, M 3 Responses Jun 27, 2012

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    Who's On First?

    Are you ready to step up to the plate? Not a lunch plate or home plate, but the plate of the Game of Life. Do you consider yourself ready? Do you have the guts and the will to expand your awareness of yourself and your world? I believe I do. I believe I can look dispassionately...
    flipper1966 flipper1966 56-60, M Apr 26, 2012

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    Skeptical

    I confess I am skeptical about the following claim made by my deodorant: "Contains odor-fighting 'atomic robots' that 'shoot lasers' at your 'stench monsters' and replaces them with fresh, clean, masculine 'scent elves."  Now really!!
    flipper1966 flipper1966 56-60, M 2 Responses Oct 25, 2012

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    Results of Psychological Testing: Reason

    for Referral: Mr. Freedman sought a psychological evaluation in order to obtain more information about a diagnosis for himself. Mr. Freedman was evaluated in 1994 at George Washington University, but he did not receive a diagnosis from this assessment. He is currently seeking...
    flipper1966 flipper1966 56-60, M Apr 18

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    Dude, I'm awesome. I'm the best dude.

    Stay positive and do what you want.
    TheCoolDude48 TheCoolDude48 16-17, M Apr 20

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    flipper1966 flipper1966 56-60, M Nov 10, 2013

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    flipper1966 flipper1966 56-60, M 1 Response Dec 26, 2012

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    Petition To The Director Of The FBI

    I am writing to you pursuant to the Petition Clause of the First Amendment.There is circumstantial evidence that I committed a felony against the Government of the United States on June 1, 2013. A person should not be allowed to commit a felony against the U.S. Government with...
    flipper1966 flipper1966 56-60, M Jun 8, 2013

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    Morning Outing

    This morning I took an outing to Fort Greene Park in Brooklyn. I like to hang out in the park and watch the pigeons.  Sitting on a bench with pigeons at her feet was a young lady with a laptop.  I knew who it had to be.  I said, "Ediez?"  She said, "Flipper?"  Yes, it was...
    flipper1966 flipper1966 56-60, M Dec 8, 2012

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    . . . And The Night Shall Be Filled With Music--

    THE DAY is done, and the darkness Falls from the wings of Night, As a feather is wafted downward From an eagle in his flight. I see the lights of the village Gleam through the rain and the mist, And a feeling of sadness comes o’er me That my soul cannot resist: A feeling...
    flipper1966 flipper1966 56-60, M Sep 23, 2013

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    Long Day's Journey Into Night

    There's something that people need to ponder about me which actually opens them up to the whole arc of writing. What does it cost to be an artist? What did it cost me to be Gary Freedman? What being Gary Freedman cost Gary Freedman was a normal relationship with a mother, it cost...
    flipper1966 flipper1966 56-60, M 1 Response Mar 26, 2013

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    Nostalgia

    When you come down to it there's no time like the present. We're always nostalgic about the past, but we overlook the fact that today will be yesterday tomorrow.
    flipper1966 flipper1966 56-60, M Jun 2, 2013

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    Blacks And Whites Should Be Kept Separate!

    I'm a segregationist. I believe God wanted blacks and whites to be separate. It's a sin to mix blacks and whites. Whites have their own specific character. Blacks have their own specific character. I find that mixing blacks and whites is confusing. When I was a boy it was...
    flipper1966 flipper1966 56-60, M 2 Responses Jul 14, 2013

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    flipper1966 flipper1966 56-60, M 2 Responses Aug 17, 2013

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    The Dream Of The Ardent Zionist

    Upon retiring on the evening of Tuesday November 6, 2012 (election night) I had the following dream: In May 1991 I had had three consultations with Lawrence C. Sack, M.D., a psychiatrist/psychoanalyst (now deceased). In the dream I am alone with Dr. Sack. I tell him that I...
    flipper1966 flipper1966 56-60, M 2 Responses Nov 10, 2012

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    The Reflections Of A Solitary On A Snowy Afternoon In January

    What did you think of that snowstorm on Saturday? Was Mr. Frost nipping at your nose? Did you even work on Saturday or did you have the day off? I heard that the libraries closed two hours early, at three-thirty. You were released from your workday chores prematurely, in mid...
    flipper1966 flipper1966 56-60, M 1 Response Apr 26, 2012

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    Waiting For The Watchtower

    I am bored. My life is boring.  Even my day dreams are boring.  I’m on a high protein diet right now because I want to lose weight.  That diet is super boring.  No pizzazz, know what I mean?  Do you know what it’s like to live a totally boring life?  No friends, no...
    flipper1966 flipper1966 56-60, M 2 Responses Mar 16, 2013

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    Explore Your Options

    Some of us want to be Pilots. Some of us want to be Doctors or accountants. Some of us just want that minimum wage job just so we can pay the rent. We all want to go different places. We all have a destination a goal we are trying to accomplish. A kid at the age of 6 wants to be...
    firefly21star firefly21star 22-25, F Aug 25, 2013

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    True Dog Story

    I was walking down the street the other day. A woman was walking a dog.  She bent down and asked the dog a question.  Yes, she asked the dog a question that you would ask a human.  As she asked the question she adjusted the dog's collar.  And I thought, "Is that woman daft...
    flipper1966 flipper1966 56-60, M 1 Response Jan 12, 2013

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    flipper1966 flipper1966 56-60, M 1 Response Oct 9, 2013

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    flipper1966 flipper1966 56-60, M Aug 23, 2013

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    The Closeted Dolphin

    I lived as a closeted dolphin for many years. I decided it was time to come out, and in the year 2004 I announced publicly that I am not really a dolphin--just a pathetic little mental patient. I hurt so many people in my life as a closeted dolphin and if there were some way...
    flipper1966 flipper1966 56-60, M 8 Responses May 12, 2012

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    The Dream Of The Quiz Show

    I have some secrets to share about my unconscious mind.Upon retiring on the evening of August 29, 2012 I had the following dream:I am in a television studio in mid-town Manhattan. I have been chosen as a contestant in a TV quiz show. My opposing contestant is Justice Ruth Bader...
    flipper1966 flipper1966 56-60, M 3 Responses Sep 2, 2012

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    Thinking Of A Friend At Night

    In this evil year, autumn comes early . . . I walk by night in the field, alone, the rain clatters, The wind on my hat . . . And you? And you, my friend? You are standing–maybe–and seeing the sickle moon Move in a small arc over the forests And bivouac fire, red in the...
    flipper1966 flipper1966 56-60, M 1 Response Nov 25, 2013

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    flipper1966 flipper1966 56-60, M Apr 5, 2013

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    Capriccio

    I am feeling good this mornI am so glad to have been bornListening to Strauss's Capriccio has given me a new appreciation of life.The modulations and turns are divine and make me want to take a wife.How glorious is the middle of February.After the cold of January so dreary.
    flipper1966 flipper1966 56-60, M 1 Response Feb 13, 2013

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    Alumnus Compiles Book With Quotes From Existing Literature

    A 1975 College of Communications alumnus has published a book made up of quotations from existing literature. Gary Freedman recently published “Significant Moments,” a book made up from quotes from already published works. Freedman used the termination from his job and the...
    flipper1966 flipper1966 56-60, M Jul 11, 2013

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    flipper1966 flipper1966 56-60, M Apr 12, 2013

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    flipper1966 flipper1966 56-60, M Apr 26, 2013

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    Homage To An EP Friend

    I see myself as a huge fiery comet, a shooting star. Everyone stops, points up and gasps "Oh look at that!" Then -- whoosh, and I'm gone . . . and they'll never see anything like it ever again . . . and they won't be able to forget me -- ever.-- TedBundyKurtCobain
    flipper1966 flipper1966 56-60, M Jun 8, 2013

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    Introduction to Letters to Brian--An Epistolary

    Novel. Introduction This is a work of fiction inspired by the experiences of the author. He and his family left Bukovina, Romania during the Spanish Civil War, and subsequently settled in Cleveland Park, a neighborhood located in the bucolic backwater of Washington, DC...
    flipper1966 flipper1966 56-60, M May 31

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    Seinfeld: The Lost Episode

    UNCLE LEO: Jerry! JERRY: Uncle Leo! UNCLE LEO: I was meaning to tell you, your cousin Jeffrey just got back. You know where he was? JERRY: (to George, sarcastically:) Jeffrey loves animals. He loves nature. UNCLE LEO: Africa. He was in Africa. ELAINE: O-o-o-h. Africa? What was he...
    flipper1966 flipper1966 56-60, M 1 Response Apr 29, 2012

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    Results Of Psychological Testing I Took

    REFERRAL QUESTION:Mr. Freedman was referred for psychological evaluation to better determine a differential diagnosis. He reports having "personality difficulties in such a way that is nothing like what I've seen in others." His "unique personality" has caused chronic...
    flipper1966 flipper1966 56-60, M 1 Response Apr 15, 2013

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    Resigned From Life

    For the last year I had arrayed myself as comfortably as possible like Robinson Crusoe on my lonely island. When I look back at that lonely year from the perplexities and pressure of the present, it seems to me like a beautiful and heroic era, oddly enough. The splendid isolation...
    flipper1966 flipper1966 56-60, M 1 Response Apr 27, 2012

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    flipper1966 flipper1966 56-60, M Apr 26, 2013

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    My Psychiatric Assessment

    The George Washington University Medical CenterDepartment of Psychiatry2150 Pennsylvania Avenue, N.W.Washington, D.C. 20037September 24, 1992PSYCHIATRIC ASSESSMENTPATIENT: Gary FreedmanDATE OF ASSESSMENT: [9-8-92/9-15-92]CLINICIAN NAME: Napoleon Cuenco, M.D., PGY-3IDENTIFYING...
    flipper1966 flipper1966 56-60, M 2 Responses Apr 26, 2013

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    flipper1966 flipper1966 56-60, M 3 Responses Jun 27, 2012

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    A Boundless Sense Of Guilt

    According to the psychoanalyst Melanie Klein all loss is experienced as a result of one's own destructiveness and as a retaliation for past hatefulness and injuries. In concrete terms, if a child is jealous of a younger sibling, and fantasizes about the younger child's death...
    flipper1966 flipper1966 56-60, M May 1, 2012

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    LOVE THE NAME OF THIS GROUP!

    !!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAA To join it asks "for my literary contributions." Well here's mine! I'm the awesomest! Ha!
    Leoholt Leoholt 41-45, M 2 Responses May 30

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    Were You The Scapegoat In Your Family?

    Narcissists are master projectors. No-one is better at looking directly at a person and seeing not who that person is, but who they wish for them to be. When a narcissistic parent looks at their child, they are capable of seeing many things: a source of narcissistic supply, an...
    flipper1966 flipper1966 56-60, M May 29, 2013

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    flipper1966 flipper1966 56-60, M 1 Response Jun 24, 2012

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    An Interview With Jesus Christ

    [interviewer]: I suppose you’re frequently asked how you got to be a Messiah. [Jesus Christ]: As a matter of fact, I’m asked that question quite often. You know, I started out in stand up. But, it's not easy, comedy. Sometimes audiences don’t laugh. It’s hard work...
    flipper1966 flipper1966 56-60, M 13 Responses Apr 27, 2012

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    I'm an arsehole to everyone I meet,

    when I want something I take it. When it comes to girls I'm like a chameleon.. I act different ways to blend to the characteristics that the girl I'm with at the time likes, usually to get them into bed. I'm extremely good at reading people and have a background in psychology...
    v10l3nt v10l3nt 22-25, M 3 Responses May 30

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    The Second Coming of the Second Jesus --

    Archaeologists say they have uncovered evidence of a Second Jesus of Nazareth in a suburb of Jerusalem. A fragment of a scroll, deemed authentic by experts, has disclosed that the Second Jesus was born of a virgin, also named Mary, and a carpenter, Joseph. The Second Jesus...
    flipper1966 flipper1966 56-60, M 1 Response Apr 11

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    First Session

    So, what ails? Nothing and everything.Could you tell me about that ”nothing and everything?” Not really. I feel a sort of malaise. It’s always with me. It’s always been with me, I suppose. I don’t feel much of anything.What do you do? I like to stare into space. It’s...
    flipper1966 flipper1966 56-60, M 2 Responses May 30, 2012

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    Yeah, I Am

    Only, when I say it people think I'm joking. I just got off the phone with someone. When I heard my phone go off, I thought, What? I have a call? Someone's actually contacting me? =O "I miss you," she says. "Yeah. That's because I'm awesome." She laughed. "Why are you laughing? I...
    Sinaname Sinaname 26-30 3 Responses Jun 12, 2012

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    My Personality -- Intj

    The INTJ personality type is one of the rarest and most interesting types – comprising only about 2% of the U.S. population (INTJ females are especially rare – just 0.8%), INTJs are often seen as highly intelligent and perplexingly mysterious. INTJ personalities radiate...
    flipper1966 flipper1966 56-60, M 1 Response Apr 5, 2013

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    Adele And Edwin

    Adele and Edwin married in May 1969. Adele had a younger brother, Ronnie, six years her junior. Ronnie suffered from severe mental illness. Go getter that he was, Edwin got a job teaching the sixth grade in the Camden Public Schools, a job his mother, Ada, got for him. In fact...
    flipper1966 flipper1966 56-60, M Aug 28, 2013

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    Calamari, anyone? -- .

    . . to love calamari, to love it even when you have no stomach for it and everything you've held dear crumbles like burnt spaghetti O's in your hands, your throat filled with the salt of it. When chili sits with you, its tropical heat thickening the air, heavy as water more fit...
    flipper1966 flipper1966 56-60, M May 1

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    Terminator: A Lohengrin For Our Time

    In Wagner’s opera Lohengrin a mysterious knight in shining armor arrives in Brabant to defeat the evil Telramund who has falsely accused the innocent Elsa of murdering her younger brother, Gottfried, who has gone missing. The boy Gottfried is destined to lead the Kingdom of...
    flipper1966 flipper1966 56-60, M Nov 7, 2013

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    flipper1966 flipper1966 56-60, M 1 Response Feb 26, 2013

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    Sorry.

    It is stating the obvious really.
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Jun 5, 2013

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    Inner World

    I have a rich inner world. I live inside my head for the most part.  I don’t connect with people.  I’m a loner who lives in a world of fantasy.  I’m not motivated to live any other way.  I have two law degrees and I suppose I could be doing more things with my life...
    flipper1966 flipper1966 56-60, M 1 Response Dec 13, 2012

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