I Am Battling Self Harm

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 3,901 People

    I was hospitalized twice this year,

    both times I was able to sneak in razor blades and other "sharps". It seems sometimes I really want to get better but other times I sabotage my own recovery. I've self harmed since I was 12, I remember the day when I started. I just got home from school, I was in grade seven...
    TickleMeCell TickleMeCell
    18-21, T
    2 Responses May 24, 2015

    Those scars on your wrists are the mark of the

    world. A ocean thats left you so torn. But remember the heart you brought into this world. The same one as when you were born.
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Mar 6

    I'm coming up on one month clean

    and I couldn't be happier. Sometime is still want to do it but I finally talked to my friend and she gets me through the rough patches.
    whymustlifegoon whymustlifegoon
    13-15, F
    Mar 2

    It's been 4 and half

    or 5 months since I last cut. I've hit another red zone and I don't know how this one will turn out. The need for pain, for that satisfied feeling of seeing that red line on your skin is overwhelming. I'm itching to do it again
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    2 Responses Jun 30, 2015

    I came across this picture,

    on Facebook (the one with the razors) It hurts me to see these kinds of comments. It really, really does. As someone who is battling self harm, I can assure you, I do not do this for attention. I don't want ANY kind of attention from it. In fact, I do everything I can...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    3 Responses Sep 7, 2015

    so im in my 30s cutting is somthing ive delt

    with years. up untill last week i hadnt cut in years, but i had been obsesing aout it. i called my boyfriend to keep me occupied but he wouldnt stay on the fone so i got my razor blade gotit so hot and pressed it rite into my arms alot of times it felt so ggood. later that nite...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Feb 21

    I cut again today I can't stop,

    and it's becoming harder to not do it more than once when I start I feel so trapped, like I have no other choice, it's the only thing I can control in my life right now I hate it but I love it The rush The feeling of control it's intoxicating and impossible to resist but I know...
    ShootingStarr718 ShootingStarr718
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Feb 15

    my mom thinks i do it

    for attention but if that is true why do i try so hard to keep it a secret? i dont do it for attention i do it cause i feel better when i see blood and it helps at the moment
    theperksofme theperksofme
    16-17, F
    2 Responses Mar 12

    All it takes is that one time

    and then you become hooked. It becomes something you need when you don't feel you can handle things. It's been a while since I last cut, but I'm slipping again. I hate feeling. Just feeling anything. Its so hard to control it all and remain disciplined at the same time
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    4 Responses May 22, 2015

    I'm almost a full year clean

    and I can't help but think: I'm still not happy... I'm just not cutting anymore because I know I should stop but not even because I want to. I don't even care anymore I honestly just want to be happy again. But that seems impossible lately.!
    theperz217 theperz217
    16-17, F
    2 Responses May 23, 2015

    i didnt cut myself for the whole month

    and i am happy for that and i hope i will not selfharm again
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Mar 4

    Do not respond to the supple

    and suave voice that a sharp blade whispers to your flesh. It's a trap.
    ThePoeticPrince ThePoeticPrince
    16-17, M
    Feb 28

    Around 2 years ago, I used to cut a lot,

    especially when I was dealing with anorexia. But I quit eventually. I relapsed on cutting a few days ago, over the most stupid reason. It's just the fact that I feel disappointed in myself that I did it. ._.
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    5 Responses Aug 11, 2015

    For those of you who have lost your desire to

    pray, to sing,I'm asking God to put that melody back in your hearts tonight; cause you to lift your voice, even though you don't understand. Your Father in Heaven loves you, do not forsake Him...do not forget the benefits of the Lord. God bless you.
    Lincoln98 Lincoln98
    18-21, M
    Apr 1

    Before I made that first cut,

    before I started to harm my body, I thought I would be able to control myself. But with every cut I felt my pain going away and found the blood strangely addicting
    crey97zy crey97zy
    18-21, F
    Jul 25, 2015

    I'm having a serious problem.

    I haven't done it in quite a while but I really really feel the need to cut again so badly that my arms itch and burn and scratching doesn't get rid of it and I'm scared I'm so ******* scared of relapse I can't I can't do this again I don't want to end up in the hospital or...
    AngelWithASecret2 AngelWithASecret2
    16-17, F
    2 Responses Mar 1

    I've been really anxious

    because I haven't cut in the longest time... I haven't even been keeping track.... but I want to so bad because I feel like everything is going to **** and I just can't take it.
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    2 Responses Feb 15

    I had quit self harming

    after 3 years of doing it, and now I did it for the first time in abut a year. It felt great, I just don't want it to become a habit again.
    Sheb33 Sheb33
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Feb 1

    Today officially I have been one year without

    cutting! One whole year. I have one this part of the battle, but I still have to put burning behind me. I can't belive it's been one whole year. Man, life goes by so much quicker when you're truly living. Yay!I'm so proud of myself.
    messeduppoet messeduppoet
    18-21, F
    19 Responses Dec 27, 2013

    ive recently stopped self harming (again).

    its probably been about 2 months. so thats a good thing. but now there are two people at work that have cuts on their arms and it makes me want to cut again but it also makes me want to help them. i am a youth worker, so i know how to. but its so much harder when they are your...
    butterflykisses11 butterflykisses11
    16-17, F
    2 Responses Mar 18

    I haven't really been on this website

    for a while and I feel like I've changed a lot since I was last on here. And when I say I've changed I mean for the better. I've definitely tried healthier coping methods and I try my best to distract myself when I have self harm urges. I'm not keeping everything bottled up as...
    Jessica4729 Jessica4729
    16-17, F
    1 Response Dec 13, 2015
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    5 Responses Oct 27, 2015
    Lincoln98 Lincoln98
    18-21, M
    Apr 14

    You left me alone with my bad thoughts And you

    came back questioning the scars on my wrist.
    crey97zy crey97zy
    18-21, F
    May 12, 2015

    I don't do it for attention.

    In fact, the last thing I want is someone pointing out my scars. It's kind of a stress relief method, granted, it's a ****** way of doing it. But it's oddly satisfying, and people who don't cut will never really understand that. I try to cover mine. When I sit down...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    2 Responses Sep 4, 2015

    I'm officially 5 days clean ^-^ I know it

    doesn't seem like very long, but it's a huge improvement for me
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    7 Responses Aug 27, 2015

    (I refer this to Christians going through

    TRIALS or/and TEMPTATIONS, lest a fellow wishes to wrongly counter the write-up) Dear Christians and whomever this may concern, God doesn't give us what we can handle but helps us handle what we are given, because, just as impure gold is passed through fire and made pure, we...
    Lincoln98 Lincoln98
    18-21, M
    Apr 10

    So I'm pretty sure a lot of you know the

    butterfly method, I tried this and it fails to me because I would cut around of just scrub it off, but there's another method, it's similar to the butterfly method. Except you draw random things or some pattern whatever you like, and you cover the entire are which for me is my...
    Zecora02 Zecora02
    18-21, F
    3 Responses May 23, 2015
    XbeyonceX XbeyonceX
    16-17, F
    1 Response Nov 19, 2014

    At first I didn't know what was happening,

    I just felt sad. Everyday i would wake up slightly damp from my tears the night previous. Getting out of bed took all the effort I had to offer. Mundane tasks became impossible--and yet somehow no one in my life noticed. I was 11--almost 12, in my last year of primary school...
    yourfriendlycanadian yourfriendlycanadian
    18-21, F
    8 Responses Aug 20, 2014

    I'm 10 days into recovery.

    .. but It might end tonite. I'll have to reset the counter tomorrow. oh well...
    Mau5ington Mau5ington
    18-21, M
    Mar 14

    For with God nothing will be impossible (Luke

    1:37). There yet is hope for you in Christ. Whatever your problem may be, and however seemingly grave the situation miay be, it is nothing to the Age of Ages. There yet is hope for you in Christ. All other things are void of actual help. Some may help in soothing the problem...
    Lincoln98 Lincoln98
    18-21, M
    Apr 3

    I have a very weird self-harm issue.

    It's not in a traditional sense. I don't cut myself. I just purposely hurt myself. I've taken over 35 pills and have been absolutely fine within a day. I've thrown a glass on the bathroom floor and purposely fell on the shards. Literally right now I'm recovering from a broken...
    KristinJuliet KristinJuliet
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Aug 25, 2015

    I was harm free for months.

    But tonight my mom found out that I was behind on homework again, and that I wasn't going to my teacher for help. I took a plastic fork and scratched myself, and for the first time, I bled a little. I'm a terrible person. I'm not allowing myself to eat tomorrow. I'm fat anyway...
    theabsurdistunicorn theabsurdistunicorn
    18-21, F
    Mar 8

    Hi my name is Charlie

    and I am 16 and this is my self harm story.When I was younger i was mainly ignored by most as I was what you would call a loner who would rather be alone than be surrounded by people. As I continued through my primary school years they weren't the best but they weren't the worst...
    ShadowHiding ShadowHiding
    16-17, T
    1 Response Feb 18

    I can't even stop. I try

    and try but i can't stop. things get better then goes to hell. I hate everything right now.
    100BlackRoses 100BlackRoses
    18-21, F
    Mar 3

    Judgement

    A one night stand with self harm And all they see are scars Like I don't know they're there I see the judgement in their prying eyes I feel the hungry flames of curiosity in their hearts Everyone loves a tragedy Still, in the end it is only I Left to read between the lines White...
    HolyDrumstickofLove HolyDrumstickofLove
    26-30, M
    2 Responses Sep 22, 2013

    24 hours clean...know it doesn't sound like

    much, but it's my best in a while, hope everyone else is going ok x
    georgia5656 georgia5656
    16-17, F
    2 Responses Aug 28, 2015

    If you call to Him, He will answer you If you

    run to Him, He will run to you If you lift your hands, He will lift you up Draw near to Him, He is here for you Give Him your love, He's in love with you He will heal your heart, He will cleanse your hands If you rend your heart, He will heal your land. Come now praise His name...
    Lincoln98 Lincoln98
    18-21, M
    Mar 31
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    2 Responses Mar 12

    it's been like 2 weeks

    since i last cut myself. 🎉
    cymmetry cymmetry
    22-25, T
    Feb 16

    The human skin can be hard to live in.

    Maybe that's why most of us tear it open.
    crey97zy crey97zy
    18-21, F
    May 11, 2015
    painfullyloving painfullyloving
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Dec 30, 2014

    Bullied

    Everyday someone I've never done anything wrong to decides to make my life hell. My bus ride to get to school is thirty five minutes. One kid makes fun of my laugh. I know it's a terrible laugh but I can't control that. Then it went on how I'm a nerd, ugly, fat, loser, will never...
    Mally1234 Mally1234
    13-15, F
    3 Responses Oct 19, 2012

    Pain is not always bad I mean i luagh at the

    feel at my own intecetonal pain and i love watching the dark red liquid slide down my uper thigh and i love the feel of of the warm blood driping down my knee and i LOVE the feel of the nice and freshly shapened blade slicing thogj my soft slin and it cleenly cutt just like a...
    emo22mystic emo22mystic
    13-15, F
    Feb 28

    I broke down today and tried to kill myself.

    To much of a failure to even do that.
    SproutMute SproutMute
    16-17, F
    4 Responses Jul 21, 2015

    I hate the stereotypes of cutting.

    It's not something people do for attention, if it were, why would we hide it? It's not something "emo" people do, everyone who cuts, DOES NOT LISTEN TO HEAVY METAL. Also, self harm is not just cutting. I've done more than cutting, in fact, until last week, I didn't know I...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    4 Responses Oct 23, 2015

    I'm 7 months clean, **** YEAAAAAH!

    Although the scars are showing a bit more, as they do when it gets hot out. Also, I've been outside a lot and my arms tan a little but the scars don't. They stay white. Some are actually purple, it's really weird. Sometimes my scars will hurt, like they will actually ache. I...
    TickleMeCell TickleMeCell
    18-21, T
    3 Responses Jun 30, 2015

    I have been self harming

    since I was 13 years old. As of today, I'm 24. That's over 10 years I've struggled with this dependency. I'm currently 14 days clean; two weeks. Before that, I was 46 days clean. All I want is to wake up one morning and not consider cutting myself an option. I want to look back...
    Eissacle Eissacle
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Apr 9
    sunburntxsoul sunburntxsoul
    16-17, F
    2 Responses Feb 17

    i promised a guy i love (he dont know i love

    him hes in a diferent relationship) and i promised i wouldnt cut anymore but i rly rly want to cut and promises mean A LOT to me ... i dont know what to do
    emo22mystic emo22mystic
    13-15, F
    1 Response Feb 21

    i was doing well. and i don't know what it is

    that's made me go back to this but i feel numb, numb and cold and i don't want to do anything any more. i don't want to read even though i love reading, i don't want to watch telly i don't want to knit i don't want to sleep i just don't want to do anything. i broke the promise i...
    makeitsomeday makeitsomeday
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Jan 31

    When life is rough, pray.

    -----:------:------:----- Pray, when life is great.
    Lincoln98 Lincoln98
    18-21, M
    1 Response Apr 1

    i didnt cut for a whole week

    and i feel good for that
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    6 Responses Jan 31

    When your toddler gets a hold of scissors

    and starts running around the house, what do you do? You chase after him. Until the moment you get the sharp object from his hands, you're in panic mode; ready to do whatever you have to in order to help him before he hurts himself. He doesn't realize the harm he can do to...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    3 Responses Aug 14, 2015

    Ummm...hi.... I don't know

    if anyone will read this..I just feel like sharing something. Okay......uhhh....about the self-harming stuff. I am a teenager and I have a thousand and one problems. I recently started cutting myself after an argument with my mom. It wasn't planned,I just used the sharp edge of...
    Almostmadeit Almostmadeit
    16-17, F
    4 Responses Aug 1, 2015

    Everyone needs compassion,

    a love that's never failing, let mercy fall on us. Everyone needs forgiveness, the kindness of a Savior, the Hope of nations. Savior, He can move the mountains My God is mighty to save. He is mighty to save. Forever, author of Salvation He rose and conquered the grave. Jesus...
    Lincoln98 Lincoln98
    18-21, M
    Apr 3

    I wish people would think a little more about

    what they say. Cutting isn't attention seeking, in fact, the last thing I was is someone walking up to me and pointing out my cuts. People don't understand what depression does to you, just because they have a smile on their face doesn't mean they're happy. Don't point out...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    2 Responses Aug 14, 2015

    The Summer

    Last year all the way up to summer was the best time I've ever had. It was just before things got bad at home and just before I started getting confused, suicidal, and started cutting myself. Everything was ok and I was dealing with my dad fine but after that summer ended...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    5 Responses Oct 26, 2013
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