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I Am Bipolar and Clinically Depressed

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 365 People

    My Version Of What I Go Through..

    A wave so high that pulls you down so low somewhere in between you lose your hope You try and fight it but the rides too strong the wrong feels right and the right seems wrong It’s so intimidating; not knowing what comes next each time it feels new even though you’re...
    ShadowsAndLights ShadowsAndLights 18-21, F 3 Responses Aug 15, 2012

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    My bipolar is thoroughly boring.

    I'm either depressed or more depressed. However, this year the solution is at hand. Prozac and Pepsi MAX together make me 20% better. And 20% is all I need!
    svirfneblin svirfneblin 41-45, M Jan 11

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    Not Lithium Again...

    How many times have I stopped taking lithium and started it again? So many times that when I go back to my Dr its almost comical. Depressed again? Yes. But I cant do it anymore. Its been 10 years off and on. Try this drug, try that drug, doesnt work and go back to lithium. I...
    SystemErrorReboot SystemErrorReboot 26-30, F Jan 2, 2013

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    I'm not sure that I'm actually bipolar.

    I think my hospitalization several months ago prompted the diagnosis. I guess they figured that they HAD to add a diagnosis after what I had done. I haven't taken my bipolar meds in a while. It's not cost or anything like that, they just taste really freaking bad. I haven't had...
    JaxyBaine JaxyBaine 26-30 1 Response Jan 19

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    An End to Destruction

    So it has been a long while since I have even visited this site. But something made me log in tonight. I thought maybe I would update every one on recent events in my life. For a while, things were not going good at all. I was always over drafted in the bank, due to...
    BeautifulNightmare BeautifulNightmare 22-25, F 1 Response Oct 11, 2008

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    Day 17-21 Of Lithium

    oops I'm slipping with the regular entries. So in the last week I've missed about 3 doses, mostly due to carelessness. Yet I'm feeling really good, but I can sense an impending danger in that. I start to feel positive and happy, believe I don't need medication and then all of a...
    muffintop muffintop 22-25, F Sep 5, 2012

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    Ooooo.

    Most people think I am crazy :3, but that is okay, because they just don't understand. Most the time, I am wacky, fun, fun, fun! I love to laugh, and smile, and give hugs! Then, other times, i get really sad, and all of my fun time flowers wilt. Then I cry, and get angry...
    jollyTira jollyTira 18-21, F 3 Responses Sep 19, 2013

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    Recently Diagnosed

    I'm bipolar type II, clinically depressed with a borderline personality disorder! I started my medication just a week ago and do feel a little better already, certainly I'm not as angry as I used to be all the time. It's still early days though, I may go back into my depression...
    AWUK AWUK 26-30, F 2 Responses Jul 8, 2008

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    Everyone thinks I'm insane

    when I tell them. But I'm pretty sane if I do say so myself. :3 My emotions are as wild as a zebra but yeah. I'm sane. :b I will hurt you or myself if I'm pretty wrecked up but other than that I'm pretty sane I guess.
    DezSheeran DezSheeran 13-15, F Jan 12

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    I Miss My Mania

    I am a 50 y/o wife, mother of five and lawyer. I have been, so we now discover, bipolar since I was a child. While very young I could remember feeling a burst of creativity and courage and feeling near perfect when Mania came to visit. I was the fastest, smartest and funnest kid...
    BabzEsq24 BabzEsq24 46-50, F 9 Responses Nov 30, 2012

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    Redemption Through Writing

    I parted ways with my lover from medical school a couple of months ago. Along with the stresses of hosting my father's annual stay (he visits me from overseas every year around this time), I dropped my classes after he left and withdrew from the world. In less dark periods, I...
    seejimsurf seejimsurf 36-40, M Apr 5, 2013

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    I Am Bipolar

    When I was a kid I was always angrier than the other kids. When I didn't get the blue marker at school, I would scream and cry. As I got older, I got more physical. At my dads house there are wholes in the walls where my room used to be. For the littlest reasons, I would get mad...
    MayaMitchell MayaMitchell 13-15, F 1 Response Jun 4, 2013

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    Is It Valid? Need Feedback~~

    H ey guys, I am a grad student who is trying to create a public campaign to make people understand bipolar syndrome and people who have it better in order to eliminate/fight with the stigma. I just revised my storyboard and in the stage of needing feedback from who ever...
    Niplus777 Niplus777 26-30, M 1 Response Nov 17, 2008

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    Scared and feeling alone,

    dont know anyone else with bipolar. I hate this!
    astraphobicaussie astraphobicaussie 22-25, F 2 Responses Jan 18

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    Feel Empty

    I feel empty a lot. Under employed. Reading too much on the internet. With behavioural problems. Empty. Overanalytical Right now I am taking buproprion 300 mg and 1000 mg of Sodium Valproate. Sodium Valproate has made me more impulsive and angry sometimes....so I may reduce it...
    bidhesigora bidhesigora 26-30, M 1 Response Feb 4, 2013

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    Why Me?

    I like to think of myself as a smart, likable guy. I have great friends and an even greater family. I have a beautiful daughter that I adore. I make stupid choices though. I never follow through on anything. I am mentally ill and just now have they figured out what is wrong with...
    jeffro499 jeffro499 26-30 1 Response Sep 28, 2011

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    Living, Coping And Accepting That I Have Bipolar.

    I am 41 years old now, when I first became ill I was around 16. I was not diagnosed till i was in my mid twenties when I had my first episode in hospital and it wasn't to be my last. I didn't understand the illness or how it affected me, even to this very day I still don't. The...
    snappyoneda snappyoneda 41-45 4 Responses Apr 22, 2012

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    Sick of It

    i wish i wasnt the way that i am. life would be so much easier. i wouldnt flip out on someone for no apparent  reason and eventually have them get tired of me freaking out on them that they end our relationship. i wouldnt wake up depressed for no reason at all or start...
    goopernipple goopernipple 18-21 1 Response Feb 21, 2009

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    Sacrific For A Good Day.

    Yesterday I took some pain medicine and decided I was going out. I had a fairly good nights sleep (I have 3 sleep disorders which I take medicine for) and only woke up 4 times. I think all toll I got 6 hours of sleep though I went to bed at 9:30pm and woke at 6:00am. My goal...
    Stelagtite Stelagtite 51-55 1 Response Mar 9, 2013

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    It Should't Be This Way

    I am sick of this... I am sick of not being able to think straight, or not being able to think at all. I am sick of feeling worthless and hopeless. The thing I hate most, is how my moods interfere so much with how I interact with others. I hate it when I don't even realize that...
    BeautifulNightmare BeautifulNightmare 22-25, F 6 Responses May 5, 2008

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    And....nothing Changes.

    Stones hitting you smack in the face, as you carry a backpack full of bricks, and run from the mountain lion, no the herd of mountain lines. That's what it feels like every day. Nobody cares, they just watch and laugh, make jokes, and in their quiet place they thank god it wan't...
    vickkay vickkay 18-21 1 Response Aug 13, 2011

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    Day 15 And 16 Of Lithium

    Sigh.................................I'm ok I guess, functional, it all comes down to that restless, purposelessness. I even skipped my medication last night because I just don't care. The effort required to pop a pill was greater than my desire to get better. And because I'm...
    muffintop muffintop 22-25, F Aug 30, 2012

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    I Don'T Want To Cry..

    but i am.. i want to find something fun and meaninful to do.. but everything looks grey to me... i try to make others happy but i end up feeling more empty.. it hurts because i can't explain why i'm crying, or why i don't want to see or talk to anyone.. that even if someone cared...
    ThePeach ThePeach 26-30, F 1 Response Jan 25, 2013

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    A letter to myself. I hate you.

    I thought you were better. 3 years of lying. Saying life was better. All the while, In denial. Stopping medication. "Clarity." Moving across the country. "Solidarity." Losing jobs... Wrecking relationships. Burning bridges. No doctor visits. New relationship... New requirements...
    ladyjoyjoy ladyjoyjoy 22-25, F 3 Responses Jan 21

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    At Worlds End

    Well i havent gotten any help but ive always been depressed. people say i always looked happy but now its like i got kicked out my house and miss my mom. my girlfriend makes me sickkk and drives me crazzzy and i just feel diffrent everyday. I can be perfectly fine and the...
    chrisolds chrisolds 18-21, M 2 Responses Dec 17, 2008

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    Just Felt Like Sharing I Guess...

    I have a lot of disorders, they run in my family. I'm bipolar, have ADHD (appearntly), I'm Skitzo, I have D.I.D, S.A.D, the list goes on. The only problem is I'm not medicated for them. My father doesn't want me on medication. Honestly I've learned to manage my life around my...
    CountryKitten CountryKitten 16-17, F Jun 22, 2013

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    Bipolar, Manic Depressive, Etc. Please Lend Me Your Expertise....

    Bipolar, depressive, etc. people, please lend me your time. I would like some knowing advice. I have a friend who is Bipolar, and very much of a loner. She is also usually depressed, even though she won't admit it. She has been going through some tough times, got a divorce...
    loveofmoonlight loveofmoonlight 26-30, F 2 Responses Oct 18, 2012

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    Help

    Hello there! I have only signed up for this webpage so Someone Would read my Story And possibly help me. Thank you for taking your Time And Reading this. It Means a Lot. But lets Start. I am currently 14 years Old. I do Not live in the Country i was Born in. I left that Country...
    Millily Millily 13-15 2 Responses Jun 17, 2013

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    ...

    I was diagnosed with bipolar mania, and depression, when I was 12 years old.Ever since then, I have been off and on of a million different pills, and I have gained about 100 pounds since.I hate it, I use to weigh 130, and I felt so good about myself...I have gotten better with my...
    DramaticSuicide DramaticSuicide 18-21, F 5 Responses Jan 6, 2008

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    On a serious note, I suffer from bipolar

    disorder and depression. So I think this is why I'm single. Im not the same person all the time and i go a bit crazy sometimes. People don't know how to deal with me, so they don't. It doesn't bother me as much as you would think, being alone is fine with me. I just want to...
    onemorelie onemorelie 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 11

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    I Am Sad, Because I Am Happy.

    I’m in the backseat of my car, sad. Sad because I am happy. Because I am looking out of a rolled up window at everything I cannot reach. Because the clouds are tons of little blobs, each overlapping each other, something I’ve never seen before. Because the trees outside...
    decembersnow decembersnow 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 19, 2013

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    I Don't Believe In Medication...

    I have Bipolar issues, and other issues in my head such as Dyslexia and ADHD, and multiple personalities. I don't take medication for any of these because I don't want to be told that I can't function like a normal human being without taking a pill everyday. I'm against using...
    MrUntitled MrUntitled 18-21, M 14 Responses Jul 9, 2009

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    I Made Something

    hey guys, I was here asking questions couple months ago, n I got some really valuable feedback. After 4 month intense production, I finally managed to put what I have in mind together. I did this animation to depict the struggles of being a bipolar, if you guys are...
    Niplus777 Niplus777 26-30, M 1 Response Jun 11, 2009

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    Anyone Out There?

    A flower. One day I look at it and I see nothing. No colour. Just shades of grey enveloping my life, my daily existance. Then, a day later I look at the flower again and it's the most beautiful things i've seen in my life. Bright colours, red, yellow, blue, green, orange... All...
    SirenThing SirenThing 16-17, F 4 Responses Oct 7, 2012

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    Getting Out

    Yesterday I needed to see my physical therapist. So I decided that would be the positive thing I would do. I really can handle only so much a day. Then I wanted to do something for someone else that was positive. So I decided to show up at my sons track practice. I picked up...
    Stelagtite Stelagtite 51-55 1 Response Mar 9, 2013

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    Day 28 Of Lithium

    The sense of dread has settled in again. I am confronted with reality once again, and the utter worthlessness of my mind, my heart, my life. I'm overwhelmed- I keep repeating the same mistakes. I think I'm not depressed so then why do I spend every day at home, avoiding the...
    muffintop muffintop 22-25, F 2 Responses Sep 12, 2012

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    I use to be depressed,

    I was on prozac for a while, it was when i was 15/16. I'm going to be 19. For a while this past year I've been doing great, I've been so happy doing things that make me happy. Now i'm a mess. Im blank. I literally cant do anything. I cant sleep i cant eat i cant do anything...
    amandallerena amandallerena 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 19

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    Bipolar, Major Depression, Fibromyalgia, Migraines, Polyarthrylgia, Hypermobile Joints, Pituitary Tumor

    These problems do not define me. I have interests. Focusing on these issues only makes me focus on these issues. I love art, drawing, photography, working part time, hooking up with my friends when I can, taking care of my 15 year old son, loving my dogs, loving my family...
    Stelagtite Stelagtite 51-55 1 Response Mar 8, 2013

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    My Self Destruction

    I've been battling bipolar and depression pretty much my whole life. Though I wasnt diagnosed with it till 1999. I have been hospitalized, zombified by meds, and have been in therapy for a long time. No many how many different ways I have tried to cope... Nothing seems to change...
    BeautifulNightmare BeautifulNightmare 22-25, F 6 Responses Jul 9, 2008

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    Constant Changing Emotions

    I've been bipolar now for about seven to eight years. The depressive part of it is slightly stronger than the mania, so for a very long time I was diagnosed with depression, until they realized the medication didn't work. Even after then, I spent many trips in psychiatric...
    Ajora Ajora 18-21 6 Responses May 11, 2009

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    Today....

    Today has been a day from hell. I havnt taken my meds in the last 3 days. Cannot sleep. It is 530 am. I took sleeping pills to sleep. Could not. Still awake. My thoughts are racing.my mood is ****. My best friend is in the hospital for anorexia because she might die due to her...
    sleeplesscookies sleeplesscookies 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 24, 2013

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    Newly Diagnosed Bipolar And Depressed And Trying To Find A Way Back

    Last year I started a strange downhill cycle. I was not working and I became obsessive about many things. I started staying up all night getting involved on the internet from everything to politics to spiritual lifestyles. I began to feel like there was a higher being with me...
    mocking mocking 51-55, F 5 Responses Sep 14, 2012

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    They Never Tell You Why...

    Pretty much all my life, I have gone through one bad thing after another... I always had trouble with things, and I was always in trouble... It wasn't until I was in the 8th grade that anyone figured out that there was something seriously wrong with me... I was tested for ADD...
    BeautifulNightmare BeautifulNightmare 22-25, F 2 Responses May 3, 2008

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    Imagine For One Second....day 29

    Imagine for one second being stuck in an unchanging, monotonous routine for the rest of your days. That is the life I am living. A groundhog horror story. It is an automated, meaningless approach to life that I can't seem to shake. Peoples faces blur into one, there is no new...
    muffintop muffintop 22-25, F 2 Responses Sep 13, 2012

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    Who Knows..

    I don't even know if I am bipolar.. hell I don't even know if I'm depressed, I've always been up & down with my emotions through my life, going from great joy to great sadness in the blink of an eye, but hey isn't everyone like that? But lately the highs are more high and the...
    LightningSpark LightningSpark 18-21 Apr 22, 2009

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    Day 22-27 Of Lithium

    It should be just about a month of my being on lithium but because I haven't been completely consistent with taking my medication (naughty!) I'm going to give it another week and then assess. I'm feeling quite unmotivated at the moment to be honest. Numb I guess. Not sad but not...
    muffintop muffintop 22-25, F Sep 11, 2012

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    Bipolar Is The Story Of My Life

    I was diagnosed as clinically depressed for 30 years, and 5 years ago was diagnosed as bipolar when the doctor finally saw me on a high. It is hard to take medications, get cleaned up, reach out to new people, so most of my life is spent alone in my apartment. My computer is my...
    RecLucy RecLucy 56-60, F 8 Responses Jan 8, 2013

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    Related Experiences

    My boyfriend is 17 and is bipolar we have a long distance relationship and I love him so much he is the first guy I have ever felt this strong about. I am bisexual so to fall for...
    deadspiritied deadspiritied 13-15, F Mar 30

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    i was diagnosed when i was only 13. but i dont feel any different from other people. well maybe i do... i knew other people didnt constanty feel depressed, or so hyper they thought...
    BlankCanvas22 BlankCanvas22 13-15, F Mar 29

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    I am suffering from manic depression.I have been depressed for almost my whole entire life it is destroying important relationships.I have too many mental illnesses I was in denial...
    xxsadisticbitchxx xxsadisticbitchxx 22-25, F 3 Responses Mar 23

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    Most days, when I was younger, I knew I was different in many ways. Right now I'm diagnosed with four mental disorders(yay me not 😒) and bipolar was the last one I found out...
    Audrina14 Audrina14 13-15, F Mar 28

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    I have a bipolar partner. We are both 19 and in 6th form. Its difficult to describe the disorder and how its taken a toll on our relationship. But I can try, this is not a self...
    anonymous1104 anonymous1104 18-21 a week ago

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    As usual I don't know where to start this, but I have to find relief somehow and writing always seems like the best solution. My husband and I have been married for 7 years (it'll...
    factsarefacts factsarefacts 26-30 2 Responses Mar 30

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    I just got clinically diagnosed with depression. If only they knew half of what I really do.
    just1a2girl3 just1a2girl3 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 4

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    I am diagnosed bipolar April 14, I knew there was something wrong anyway so finding out wasn't supriseing.just last week Monday I was ok Tuesday I was depressed I mean to the point...
    Alwaysandforever29 Alwaysandforever29 18-21, F 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    I was super depressed today. I actually still am typing this. Any words of encouragement? I'm bipolar and the meds did not work today for some reason, or something happened...
    Audrina14 Audrina14 13-15, F 1 Response Mar 26