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I Am Bipolar and Clinically Depressed

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 494 People

    babyygirl35 babyygirl35 18-21, F Apr 19, 2014

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    I hate myself. I'm at a friends house

    and everyone is a sleep I'm here trying to find cigarettes, pills, or alcohol, to take away this feeling of loneliness. I don't know why I'm doing any of this. I can't get myself to slow down and breathe.
    sahr86 sahr86 16-17, F 1 Response Dec 13, 2014

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    Over the summer I went to the hospital

    because I wanted to end my life. Before that I found friends who were also depressed, and I started drinking all the time i was drunk at school. I popped pills just to feel okay. I have since then recovered. Or so I thought. Everything's really hard and I don't know what to do...
    sahr86 sahr86 16-17, F 1 Response Dec 10, 2014

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    Living, Coping And Accepting That I Have Bipolar.

    I am 41 years old now, when I first became ill I was around 16. I was not diagnosed till i was in my mid twenties when I had my first episode in hospital and it wasn't to be my last. I didn't understand the illness or how it affected me, even to this very day I still don't. The...
    snappyoneda snappyoneda 41-45 4 Responses Apr 22, 2012

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    My depression started early on,

    in elementary school when the bullying got bad and I had not even one person to turn to. I got diagnosed with severe depression at 13, the medication triggered manic episodes , last year I got diagnosed with bipolar type 2 which I got mood stabilisers on top of the anti...
    morticiamortal morticiamortal 16-17, F 1 Response Aug 18, 2014

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    At Worlds End

    Well i havent gotten any help but ive always been depressed. people say i always looked happy but now its like i got kicked out my house and miss my mom. my girlfriend makes me sickkk and drives me crazzzy and i just feel diffrent everyday. I can be perfectly fine and the...
    chrisolds chrisolds 18-21, M 2 Responses Dec 17, 2008

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    Just Felt Like Sharing I Guess...

    I have a lot of disorders, they run in my family. I'm bipolar, have ADHD (appearntly), I'm Skitzo, I have D.I.D, S.A.D, the list goes on. The only problem is I'm not medicated for them. My father doesn't want me on medication. Honestly I've learned to manage my life around my...
    CountryKitten CountryKitten 16-17, F 1 Response Jun 22, 2013

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    Well I was diagnosed 2 days ago with bipolar

    I've been diagnosed with depression for about 6 months. Weirdly the bipolar isn't shocking. My dad is bipolar, but now I feel like I'm just like him a monster and idk how to feel or what to do.
    Dhess1198 Dhess1198 16-17, F 2 Responses Sep 19, 2014

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    I have a WordPress blog in

    which I discuss my feelings. It may or may not help. I feel crazy. I know there is help out there, but most people haven't got a clue how I feel. I'm afraid of most people, for many reasons. I justify my feelings. I'm too negative. I can't choose to be happy. I am both...
    vajzenezjarr vajzenezjarr 26-30, F 1 Response May 14, 2014

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    I Don't Believe In Medication...

    I have Bipolar issues, and other issues in my head such as Dyslexia and ADHD, and multiple personalities. I don't take medication for any of these because I don't want to be told that I can't function like a normal human being without taking a pill everyday. I'm against using...
    MrUntitled MrUntitled 18-21, M 16 Responses Jul 9, 2009

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    They Never Tell You Why...

    Pretty much all my life, I have gone through one bad thing after another... I always had trouble with things, and I was always in trouble... It wasn't until I was in the 8th grade that anyone figured out that there was something seriously wrong with me... I was tested for ADD...
    BeautifulNightmare BeautifulNightmare 22-25, F 2 Responses May 3, 2008

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    Basically I've been depressed

    for four years and have struggled with suicidal thoughts and actions for this time. Now, I've gone through psychosis and have been diagnosed as bipolar. My therapist thinks it could even be schizoaffective disorder. I don't know what to do honestly. I've dropped out of high...
    hippiesugar hippiesugar 18-21, F a week ago

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    Lamictal ! Just had a great meeting with my

    Doc. Was only diagnosed about 2 months ago with bipolar 2 and put on lamictal 50mg.. And she upped it to 100mgs. Hopeful and Prayerful for better results Anybody else on lamictal ??? Love to hear your experiences
    Brisco221 Brisco221 31-35, M Jul 24, 2014

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    I was doing ok but I set myself up

    for disappointment. I know the worst thing in life is to have hope. It just doesn't workout that way.
    deleted deleted 26-30 Mar 27

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    I am so depressed. I literally think about

    killing myself every single day of my life, but I'm too much of a coward to go through with it. I'm sick of living. I have no friends, and I never will. Everytime I think i find out, they abandon me and make me more suicidal than ever. I am so sick and tired of this waste of an...
    blipsycat1 blipsycat1 22-25, M 1 Response Jul 16, 2014

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    An End to Destruction

    So it has been a long while since I have even visited this site. But something made me log in tonight. I thought maybe I would update every one on recent events in my life. For a while, things were not going good at all. I was always over drafted in the bank, due to...
    BeautifulNightmare BeautifulNightmare 22-25, F 1 Response Oct 11, 2008

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    My Version Of What I Go Through..

    A wave so high that pulls you down so low somewhere in between you lose your hope You try and fight it but the rides too strong the wrong feels right and the right seems wrong It’s so intimidating; not knowing what comes next each time it feels new even though you’re...
    ShadowsAndLights ShadowsAndLights 18-21, F 3 Responses Aug 15, 2012

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    Imagine For One Second....day 29

    Imagine for one second being stuck in an unchanging, monotonous routine for the rest of your days. That is the life I am living. A groundhog horror story. It is an automated, meaningless approach to life that I can't seem to shake. Peoples faces blur into one, there is no new...
    muffintop muffintop 22-25, F 3 Responses Sep 13, 2012

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    Am I Product Of My Environment?

    It's a simple question, really. I was raised in a very abusive, destructive home. I was bullied at school. I have never really felt as though I've "fit in" anywhere. I am brilliant. I have a very big, very beautiful brain. This much I know about myself. (To all the non...
    JesseLeeJames JesseLeeJames 46-50, M 1 Response Nov 10, 2014

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    Today....

    Today has been a day from hell. I havnt taken my meds in the last 3 days. Cannot sleep. It is 530 am. I took sleeping pills to sleep. Could not. Still awake. My thoughts are racing.my mood is ****. My best friend is in the hospital for anorexia because she might die due to her...
    sleeplesscookies sleeplesscookies 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 24, 2013

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    These last couple of days have been the worst

    of my life, I found a lump in my underarm, I was worried but enough to go to the doc, but not that much. Cancer goes in my family, but I mean I'm 21.. I didn't seriously think of it. My sister yelled at me and called me a bunch of things for worrying enough to even go to the doc...
    lily449 lily449 18-21, F Mar 27

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    I am so depressed. I literally think about

    killing myself every single day of my life, but I'm too much of a coward to go through with it. I'm sick of living. I have no friends, and I never will. Everytime I think i find out, they abandon me and make me more suicidal than ever. I am so sick and tired of this waste of an...
    blipsycat1 blipsycat1 22-25, M Jul 13, 2014

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    I closed down my account less

    than a week ago. I guess I was just trying to convince myself that I'm better. But I am not better. I hurt, all the time and there is nothing I can do about it. But in a way I am glad I removed my old account, I have major trust issues and I had put to much of me out there...
    lily449 lily449 18-21, F Dec 21, 2014

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    Constant Changing Emotions

    I've been bipolar now for about seven to eight years. The depressive part of it is slightly stronger than the mania, so for a very long time I was diagnosed with depression, until they realized the medication didn't work. Even after then, I spent many trips in psychiatric...
    Ajora Ajora 18-21 6 Responses May 11, 2009

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    Scared and feeling alone,

    dont know anyone else with bipolar. I hate this!
    astraphobicaussie astraphobicaussie 22-25, F 2 Responses Jan 18, 2014

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    So its been a few weeks

    now since i lowered my meds because they was making me feel lethargic and sleepy. Yesterday i felt really bad, i felt the affect it was having on me and for one i actually cried myself to sleep which i have not done in a while but i got through it and feel a lot better today. I...
    Gentleandlovingsoul Gentleandlovingsoul 36-40, F 1 Response Jun 29, 2014

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    I get mixed episodes a lot

    and my doctor told me that I have mixed bipolar and I was wondering what do your mixed episodes feel like? mine feel like extreme agitation like I can't be touched or I will go insane and like there is something under my skin. there's things that need to be cleaned but I don't...
    danielle18 danielle18 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 26

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    Bipolar, Major Depression, Fibromyalgia, Migraines, Polyarthrylgia, Hypermobile Joints, Pituitary Tumor

    These problems do not define me. I have interests. Focusing on these issues only makes me focus on these issues. I love art, drawing, photography, working part time, hooking up with my friends when I can, taking care of my 15 year old son, loving my dogs, loving my family...
    Stelagtite Stelagtite 51-55 1 Response Mar 8, 2013

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    A letter to myself. I hate you.

    I thought you were better. 3 years of lying. Saying life was better. All the while, In denial. Stopping medication. "Clarity." Moving across the country. "Solidarity." Losing jobs... Wrecking relationships. Burning bridges. No doctor visits. New relationship... New requirements...
    Conflictedchicklet Conflictedchicklet 26-30, F 1 Response Jan 21, 2014

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    And....nothing Changes.

    Stones hitting you smack in the face, as you carry a backpack full of bricks, and run from the mountain lion, no the herd of mountain lines. That's what it feels like every day. Nobody cares, they just watch and laugh, make jokes, and in their quiet place they thank god it wan't...
    vickkay vickkay 18-21 1 Response Aug 13, 2011

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    I Miss My Mania

    I am a 50 y/o wife, mother of five and lawyer. I have been, so we now discover, bipolar since I was a child. While very young I could remember feeling a burst of creativity and courage and feeling near perfect when Mania came to visit. I was the fastest, smartest and funnest kid...
    BabzEsq24 BabzEsq24 46-50, F 7 Responses Nov 30, 2012

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    On a serious note, I suffer from bipolar

    disorder and depression. So I think this is why I'm single. Im not the same person all the time and i go a bit crazy sometimes. People don't know how to deal with me, so they don't. It doesn't bother me as much as you would think, being alone is fine with me. I just want to...
    onemorelie onemorelie 18-21, F 3 Responses Apr 11, 2014

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    I hope no one thinks

    that having a plan for suicide makes me seem like a pity case. Tell my therapist my plan for suicide was out of fear for my own safety. The suffering was beyond words. Some people tell me to go off my meds because don't understand anything about bipolar. They just don't...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Apr 8

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    I use to be depressed,

    I was on prozac for a while, it was when i was 15/16. I'm going to be 19. For a while this past year I've been doing great, I've been so happy doing things that make me happy. Now i'm a mess. Im blank. I literally cant do anything. I cant sleep i cant eat i cant do anything...
    amandallerena amandallerena 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 19, 2014

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    I've been dealing with this

    for over 10 years now, most of this time I have been in a dark hole. It went as far as me losing all hope and even forgetting who I am, who I used to be before my depression. Recently I have been able to see some light. It's not easy, and I have bad days but I have after 10...
    lily449 lily449 18-21, F Mar 6

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    I had a major breakdown a couple of days ago

    and my family had to call the ambulance cause I was completely out of it. We were almost at the hospital when I began coming back to my senses and said I wanted to go home. I never call the ambulance no matter how bad it gets, but the ambulance drivers said they had to take me...
    lily449 lily449 18-21, F Jan 3

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    Help

    Hello there! I have only signed up for this webpage so Someone Would read my Story And possibly help me. Thank you for taking your Time And Reading this. It Means a Lot. But lets Start. I am currently 14 years Old. I do Not live in the Country i was Born in. I left that Country...
    Millily Millily 13-15 2 Responses Jun 17, 2013

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    I've gone far this time,

    to far. I'm losing grip on reality again. I've been here before, and I've felt the varnings signals for a while now. I know I should ask for help, but I also know it's gone to far this time. I didn't know how far until I saw the last signal. I no longer knows what to do, I don't...
    lily449 lily449 18-21, F Dec 30, 2014

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    Everyone thinks I'm insane

    when I tell them. But I'm pretty sane if I do say so myself. :3 My emotions are as wild as a zebra but yeah. I'm sane. :b I will hurt you or myself if I'm pretty wrecked up but other than that I'm pretty sane I guess.
    DezSheeran DezSheeran 13-15, F Jan 12, 2014

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    I Am Sad, Because I Am Happy.

    I’m in the backseat of my car, sad. Sad because I am happy. Because I am looking out of a rolled up window at everything I cannot reach. Because the clouds are tons of little blobs, each overlapping each other, something I’ve never seen before. Because the trees outside...
    decembersnow decembersnow 18-21, F 2 Responses Jan 19, 2013

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    Why Me?

    I like to think of myself as a smart, likable guy. I have great friends and an even greater family. I have a beautiful daughter that I adore. I make stupid choices though. I never follow through on anything. I am mentally ill and just now have they figured out what is wrong with...
    jeffro499 jeffro499 26-30 1 Response Sep 28, 2011

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    I finally got my answers to

    why i been feeling like this. I guess in a way i feel releived but in a way i feel bad because this is what it is. I dont really understand what bipolar really is and i pray that medication and therapt can make me educated and feel better atleast a little so i can love life...
    Tamona35 Tamona35 36-40, F 1 Response Jun 7, 2014

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    Everything is pointless Did something today

    that I wouldn't normally do. It doesn't matter. It's dumb. I can't kid myself with morals. I don't really have any. I guess I'm getting depressed again. Oh and **** Christmas.
    NotApplicable NotApplicable 22-25, F Dec 25, 2014

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    Does anyone have any experience with the

    antidepressant Brintellix?
    SeaOfMonsters SeaOfMonsters 26-30, F Mar 12

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    Newly Diagnosed Bipolar And Depressed And Trying To Find A Way Back

    Last year I started a strange downhill cycle. I was not working and I became obsessive about many things. I started staying up all night getting involved on the internet from everything to politics to spiritual lifestyles. I began to feel like there was a higher being with me...
    mocking mocking 51-55, F 5 Responses Sep 14, 2012

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    I have severe bipolar depression

    which means I'll have my extreme happy or clam moments when I feel like nothing's wrong and then something little will happen that will make me extremely depressed. I been taking meds for my add since I was 14 but I had this disorder before that the meds just make it worse. When...
    DarkRun421 DarkRun421 16-17, F Jul 23, 2014

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