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I Am Bipolar and Clinically Depressed

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 522 People

    I feel like I'm worthless more

    and more these days... I feel like I have nothing to live for and that I am going no where. That I've screwed up everything good in my life... And sometimes like it's not even worth living
    EmoCinderella94 EmoCinderella94 18-21, F 1 Response May 12

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    I've gone far this time,

    to far. I'm losing grip on reality again. I've been here before, and I've felt the varnings signals for a while now. I know I should ask for help, but I also know it's gone to far this time. I didn't know how far until I saw the last signal. I no longer knows what to do, I don't...
    lily449 lily449 22-25, F Dec 30, 2014

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    A letter to myself. I hate you.

    I thought you were better. 3 years of lying. Saying life was better. All the while, In denial. Stopping medication. "Clarity." Moving across the country. "Solidarity." Losing jobs... Wrecking relationships. Burning bridges. No doctor visits. New relationship... New requirements...
    Conflictedchicklet Conflictedchicklet 26-30, F 1 Response Jan 21, 2014

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    At Worlds End

    Well i havent gotten any help but ive always been depressed. people say i always looked happy but now its like i got kicked out my house and miss my mom. my girlfriend makes me sickkk and drives me crazzzy and i just feel diffrent everyday. I can be perfectly fine and the...
    chrisolds chrisolds 18-21, M 2 Responses Dec 17, 2008

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    I get mixed episodes a lot

    and my doctor told me that I have mixed bipolar and I was wondering what do your mixed episodes feel like? mine feel like extreme agitation like I can't be touched or I will go insane and like there is something under my skin. there's things that need to be cleaned but I don't...
    danielle18 danielle18 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 26

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    I hope no one thinks

    that having a plan for suicide makes me seem like a pity case. Tell my therapist my plan for suicide was out of fear for my own safety. The suffering was beyond words. Some people tell me to go off my meds because don't understand anything about bipolar. They just don't...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Apr 8

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    I am so depressed. I literally think about

    killing myself every single day of my life, but I'm too much of a coward to go through with it. I'm sick of living. I have no friends, and I never will. Everytime I think i find out, they abandon me and make me more suicidal than ever. I am so sick and tired of this waste of an...
    blipsycat1 blipsycat1 22-25, M 1 Response Jul 16, 2014

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    Everything is pointless Did something today

    that I wouldn't normally do. It doesn't matter. It's dumb. I can't kid myself with morals. I don't really have any. I guess I'm getting depressed again. Oh and **** Christmas.
    NotApplicable NotApplicable 22-25, F Dec 25, 2014

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    I Don't Believe In Medication...

    I have Bipolar issues, and other issues in my head such as Dyslexia and ADHD, and multiple personalities. I don't take medication for any of these because I don't want to be told that I can't function like a normal human being without taking a pill everyday. I'm against using...
    MrUntitled MrUntitled 18-21, M 16 Responses Jul 9, 2009

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    I had a major breakdown a couple of days ago

    and my family had to call the ambulance cause I was completely out of it. We were almost at the hospital when I began coming back to my senses and said I wanted to go home. I never call the ambulance no matter how bad it gets, but the ambulance drivers said they had to take me...
    lily449 lily449 22-25, F Jan 3

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    On a serious note, I suffer from bipolar

    disorder and depression. So I think this is why I'm single. Im not the same person all the time and i go a bit crazy sometimes. People don't know how to deal with me, so they don't. It doesn't bother me as much as you would think, being alone is fine with me. I just want to...
    onemorelie onemorelie 18-21, F 3 Responses Apr 11, 2014

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    Why Me?

    I like to think of myself as a smart, likable guy. I have great friends and an even greater family. I have a beautiful daughter that I adore. I make stupid choices though. I never follow through on anything. I am mentally ill and just now have they figured out what is wrong with...
    jeffro499 jeffro499 26-30 1 Response Sep 28, 2011

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    Imagine For One Second....day 29

    Imagine for one second being stuck in an unchanging, monotonous routine for the rest of your days. That is the life I am living. A groundhog horror story. It is an automated, meaningless approach to life that I can't seem to shake. Peoples faces blur into one, there is no new...
    muffintop muffintop 22-25, F 3 Responses Sep 13, 2012

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    Newly Diagnosed Bipolar And Depressed And Trying To Find A Way Back

    Last year I started a strange downhill cycle. I was not working and I became obsessive about many things. I started staying up all night getting involved on the internet from everything to politics to spiritual lifestyles. I began to feel like there was a higher being with me...
    mocking mocking 51-55, F 5 Responses Sep 14, 2012

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    Over the summer I went to the hospital

    because I wanted to end my life. Before that I found friends who were also depressed, and I started drinking all the time i was drunk at school. I popped pills just to feel okay. I have since then recovered. Or so I thought. Everything's really hard and I don't know what to do...
    sahr86 sahr86 16-17, F 1 Response Dec 10, 2014

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    Scared and feeling alone,

    dont know anyone else with bipolar. I hate this!
    astraphobicaussie astraphobicaussie 22-25, F 2 Responses Jan 18, 2014

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    They Never Tell You Why...

    Pretty much all my life, I have gone through one bad thing after another... I always had trouble with things, and I was always in trouble... It wasn't until I was in the 8th grade that anyone figured out that there was something seriously wrong with me... I was tested for ADD...
    BeautifulNightmare BeautifulNightmare 22-25, F 2 Responses May 3, 2008

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    Life thus far has been one big mood swing.

    The peaks and valleys of my condition have become cliffs and canyons that stretch ever deeper into the abyss that is my mind. Some days, I can take on the world; some, the world consumes me. It isn't that I don't get life. I have a great job, a loving family, a beautiful home...
    mrkrinkle55 mrkrinkle55 18-21, M Jul 2

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    I have been on meds for 18 years.

    Was diagnosed with depression at age 16 then at 20 diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I have been on practically everything. Some do nothing. Some work for a while then just stop. I've been doing this constant trial and error with different combinations for 18 years now. Almost...
    jks1981 jks1981 31-35, F Jul 13

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    My bipolar is thoroughly boring.

    I'm either depressed or more depressed. However, this year the solution is at hand. Prozac and Pepsi MAX together make me 20% better. And 20% is all I need!
    svirfneblin svirfneblin 46-50, M Jan 11, 2014

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    Does anyone have any experience with the

    antidepressant Brintellix?
    SeaOfMonsters SeaOfMonsters 26-30, F Mar 12

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    Today....

    Today has been a day from hell. I havnt taken my meds in the last 3 days. Cannot sleep. It is 530 am. I took sleeping pills to sleep. Could not. Still awake. My thoughts are racing.my mood is ****. My best friend is in the hospital for anorexia because she might die due to her...
    sleeplesscookies sleeplesscookies 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 24, 2013

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    You know, I'm a bit of a basket case.

    . But hey, the sister I thought I once had is long gone. She's been lying to me and my family this entire time. I can't believe it. The betrayal I feel is mind numbing. I can't stand it... But the only benefit I am getting out of this, is my own room, finally.
    xXCronaXx xXCronaXx 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 26

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    What do you guys do on your down periods/days?

    i dont feel like spending he entire day crying and thinking about suicide and then hating myself for it today. tips, suggestions, advice?
    peaceinmiles peaceinmiles 18-21, F 7 Responses May 2

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    I Am Sad, Because I Am Happy.

    I’m in the backseat of my car, sad. Sad because I am happy. Because I am looking out of a rolled up window at everything I cannot reach. Because the clouds are tons of little blobs, each overlapping each other, something I’ve never seen before. Because the trees outside...
    decembersnow decembersnow 18-21, F 2 Responses Jan 19, 2013

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    Am I Product Of My Environment?

    It's a simple question, really. I was raised in a very abusive, destructive home. I was bullied at school. I have never really felt as though I've "fit in" anywhere. I am brilliant. I have a very big, very beautiful brain. This much I know about myself. (To all the non...
    JLBetts JLBetts 46-50, M 2 Responses Sep 14, 2013

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    One of these days my ******* ***** of a mother

    is gonna push me too far and that'll be the end of me
    suicideDepression suicideDepression 16-17, M 1 Response Sep 7, 2014

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    Lamictal ! Just had a great meeting with my

    Doc. Was only diagnosed about 2 months ago with bipolar 2 and put on lamictal 50mg.. And she upped it to 100mgs. Hopeful and Prayerful for better results Anybody else on lamictal ??? Love to hear your experiences
    Brisco221 Brisco221 31-35, M Jul 24, 2014

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    And....nothing Changes.

    Stones hitting you smack in the face, as you carry a backpack full of bricks, and run from the mountain lion, no the herd of mountain lines. That's what it feels like every day. Nobody cares, they just watch and laugh, make jokes, and in their quiet place they thank god it wan't...
    vickkay vickkay 18-21 1 Response Aug 13, 2011

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    An End to Destruction

    So it has been a long while since I have even visited this site. But something made me log in tonight. I thought maybe I would update every one on recent events in my life. For a while, things were not going good at all. I was always over drafted in the bank, due to...
    BeautifulNightmare BeautifulNightmare 22-25, F 1 Response Oct 11, 2008

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    Basically I've been depressed

    for four years and have struggled with suicidal thoughts and actions for this time. Now, I've gone through psychosis and have been diagnosed as bipolar. My therapist thinks it could even be schizoaffective disorder. I don't know what to do honestly. I've dropped out of high...
    hippiesugar hippiesugar 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 13

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    My depression started early on,

    in elementary school when the bullying got bad and I had not even one person to turn to. I got diagnosed with severe depression at 13, the medication triggered manic episodes , last year I got diagnosed with bipolar type 2 which I got mood stabilisers on top of the anti...
    morticiamortal morticiamortal 16-17, F 1 Response Aug 18, 2014

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    Bipolar, Major Depression, Fibromyalgia, Migraines, Polyarthrylgia, Hypermobile Joints, Pituitary Tumor

    These problems do not define me. I have interests. Focusing on these issues only makes me focus on these issues. I love art, drawing, photography, working part time, hooking up with my friends when I can, taking care of my 15 year old son, loving my dogs, loving my family...
    Stelagtite Stelagtite 51-55 1 Response Mar 8, 2013

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    I have severe bipolar depression

    which means I'll have my extreme happy or clam moments when I feel like nothing's wrong and then something little will happen that will make me extremely depressed. I been taking meds for my add since I was 14 but I had this disorder before that the meds just make it worse. When...
    DarkRun421 DarkRun421 16-17, F Jul 23, 2014

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    I've been dealing with this

    for over 10 years now, most of this time I have been in a dark hole. It went as far as me losing all hope and even forgetting who I am, who I used to be before my depression. Recently I have been able to see some light. It's not easy, and I have bad days but I have after 10...
    lily449 lily449 22-25, F Mar 6

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    I finally got my answers to

    why i been feeling like this. I guess in a way i feel releived but in a way i feel bad because this is what it is. I dont really understand what bipolar really is and i pray that medication and therapt can make me educated and feel better atleast a little so i can love life...
    Tamona35 Tamona35 36-40, F 1 Response Jun 7, 2014

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    Well I was diagnosed 2 days ago with bipolar

    I've been diagnosed with depression for about 6 months. Weirdly the bipolar isn't shocking. My dad is bipolar, but now I feel like I'm just like him a monster and idk how to feel or what to do.
    Dhess1198 Dhess1198 16-17, F 2 Responses Sep 19, 2014

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    I haven't been on here

    for so long, I used to be here everyday every moment almost. I had nothing, I had broken into so many pieces that I had nothing left to break. I had no hope and it had been so long since I saw any light that I had forgotten what it was like.. I had lost me, my smile never...
    lily449 lily449 22-25, F Feb 6

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    So its been a few weeks

    now since i lowered my meds because they was making me feel lethargic and sleepy. Yesterday i felt really bad, i felt the affect it was having on me and for one i actually cried myself to sleep which i have not done in a while but i got through it and feel a lot better today. I...
    Gentleandlovingsoul Gentleandlovingsoul 36-40, F 1 Response Jun 29, 2014

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    I Made Something

    hey guys, I was here asking questions couple months ago, n I got some really valuable feedback. After 4 month intense production, I finally managed to put what I have in mind together. I did this animation to depict the struggles of being a bipolar, if you guys are...
    Niplus777 Niplus777 26-30, M 1 Response Jun 11, 2009

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    This the worst depression yet.

    I'm so frightened.
    deleted deleted 26-30 Apr 9

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    I was doing ok but I set myself up

    for disappointment. I know the worst thing in life is to have hope. It just doesn't workout that way.
    deleted deleted 26-30 Mar 27

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    These last couple of days have been the worst

    of my life, I found a lump in my underarm, I was worried but enough to go to the doc, but not that much. Cancer goes in my family, but I mean I'm 21.. I didn't seriously think of it. My sister yelled at me and called me a bunch of things for worrying enough to even go to the doc...
    lily449 lily449 22-25, F Mar 27

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    I have controlled bipolar

    and untreated depression.I can take depression pills with my bipolar meds.My of my depression leads back to my childhood traumas.
    punkglampire punkglampire 22-25 Jul 4

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    Everyone thinks I'm insane

    when I tell them. But I'm pretty sane if I do say so myself. :3 My emotions are as wild as a zebra but yeah. I'm sane. :b I will hurt you or myself if I'm pretty wrecked up but other than that I'm pretty sane I guess.
    DezSheeran DezSheeran 13-15, F Jan 12, 2014

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    My Version Of What I Go Through..

    A wave so high that pulls you down so low somewhere in between you lose your hope You try and fight it but the rides too strong the wrong feels right and the right seems wrong It’s so intimidating; not knowing what comes next each time it feels new even though you’re...
    ShadowsAndLights ShadowsAndLights 18-21, F 3 Responses