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I Am Bipolar and Clinically Depressed

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 441 People

    Well I was diagnosed 2 days ago with bipolar

    I've been diagnosed with depression for about 6 months. Weirdly the bipolar isn't shocking. My dad is bipolar, but now I feel like I'm just like him a monster and idk how to feel or what to do.
    Dhess1198 Dhess1198 16-17, F 2 Responses Sep 19

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    Sacrific For A Good Day.

    Yesterday I took some pain medicine and decided I was going out. I had a fairly good nights sleep (I have 3 sleep disorders which I take medicine for) and only woke up 4 times. I think all toll I got 6 hours of sleep though I went to bed at 9:30pm and woke at 6:00am. My goal...
    Stelagtite Stelagtite 51-55 1 Response Mar 9, 2013

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    My bipolar is thoroughly boring.

    I'm either depressed or more depressed. However, this year the solution is at hand. Prozac and Pepsi MAX together make me 20% better. And 20% is all I need!
    svirfneblin svirfneblin 41-45, M Jan 11

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    Over the summer I went to the hospital

    because I wanted to end my life. Before that I found friends who were also depressed, and I started drinking all the time i was drunk at school. I popped pills just to feel okay. I have since then recovered. Or so I thought. Everything's really hard and I don't know what to do...
    sahr86 sahr86 16-17, F 1 Response Dec 10

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    Bipolar, Major Depression, Fibromyalgia, Migraines, Polyarthrylgia, Hypermobile Joints, Pituitary Tumor

    These problems do not define me. I have interests. Focusing on these issues only makes me focus on these issues. I love art, drawing, photography, working part time, hooking up with my friends when I can, taking care of my 15 year old son, loving my dogs, loving my family...
    Stelagtite Stelagtite 51-55 1 Response Mar 8, 2013

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    Imagine For One Second....day 29

    Imagine for one second being stuck in an unchanging, monotonous routine for the rest of your days. That is the life I am living. A groundhog horror story. It is an automated, meaningless approach to life that I can't seem to shake. Peoples faces blur into one, there is no new...
    muffintop muffintop 22-25, F 3 Responses Sep 13, 2012

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    I hate myself. I'm at a friends house

    and everyone is a sleep I'm here trying to find cigarettes, pills, or alcohol, to take away this feeling of loneliness. I don't know why I'm doing any of this. I can't get myself to slow down and breathe.
    sahr86 sahr86 16-17, F 1 Response Dec 13

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    I Am Sad, Because I Am Happy.

    I’m in the backseat of my car, sad. Sad because I am happy. Because I am looking out of a rolled up window at everything I cannot reach. Because the clouds are tons of little blobs, each overlapping each other, something I’ve never seen before. Because the trees outside...
    decembersnow decembersnow 18-21, F 2 Responses Jan 19, 2013

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    I am so depressed. I literally think about

    killing myself every single day of my life, but I'm too much of a coward to go through with it. I'm sick of living. I have no friends, and I never will. Everytime I think i find out, they abandon me and make me more suicidal than ever. I am so sick and tired of this waste of an...
    blipsycat1 blipsycat1 18-21, M Jul 13

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    I Am Bipolar

    When I was a kid I was always angrier than the other kids. When I didn't get the blue marker at school, I would scream and cry. As I got older, I got more physical. At my dads house there are wholes in the walls where my room used to be. For the littlest reasons, I would get mad...
    MayaMitchell MayaMitchell 16-17, F 1 Response Jun 4, 2013

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    Living, Coping And Accepting That I Have Bipolar.

    I am 41 years old now, when I first became ill I was around 16. I was not diagnosed till i was in my mid twenties when I had my first episode in hospital and it wasn't to be my last. I didn't understand the illness or how it affected me, even to this very day I still don't. The...
    snappyoneda snappyoneda 41-45 4 Responses Apr 22, 2012

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    Why Me?

    I like to think of myself as a smart, likable guy. I have great friends and an even greater family. I have a beautiful daughter that I adore. I make stupid choices though. I never follow through on anything. I am mentally ill and just now have they figured out what is wrong with...
    jeffro499 jeffro499 26-30 1 Response Sep 28, 2011

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    I Don't Believe In Medication...

    I have Bipolar issues, and other issues in my head such as Dyslexia and ADHD, and multiple personalities. I don't take medication for any of these because I don't want to be told that I can't function like a normal human being without taking a pill everyday. I'm against using...
    MrUntitled MrUntitled 18-21, M 15 Responses Jul 9, 2009

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    I Made Something

    hey guys, I was here asking questions couple months ago, n I got some really valuable feedback. After 4 month intense production, I finally managed to put what I have in mind together. I did this animation to depict the struggles of being a bipolar, if you guys are...
    Niplus777 Niplus777 26-30, M 1 Response Jun 11, 2009

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    Newly Diagnosed Bipolar And Depressed And Trying To Find A Way Back

    Last year I started a strange downhill cycle. I was not working and I became obsessive about many things. I started staying up all night getting involved on the internet from everything to politics to spiritual lifestyles. I began to feel like there was a higher being with me...
    mocking mocking 51-55, F 5 Responses Sep 14, 2012

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    Am I Product Of My Environment?

    It's a simple question, really. I was raised in a very abusive, destructive home. I was bullied at school. I have never really felt as though I've "fit in" anywhere. I am brilliant. I have a very big, very beautiful brain. This much I know about myself. (To all the non...
    JLBetts JLBetts 46-50, M 3 Responses Sep 14, 2013

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    Just Felt Like Sharing I Guess...

    I have a lot of disorders, they run in my family. I'm bipolar, have ADHD (appearntly), I'm Skitzo, I have D.I.D, S.A.D, the list goes on. The only problem is I'm not medicated for them. My father doesn't want me on medication. Honestly I've learned to manage my life around my...
    CountryKitten CountryKitten 16-17, F 1 Response Jun 22, 2013

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    At Worlds End

    Well i havent gotten any help but ive always been depressed. people say i always looked happy but now its like i got kicked out my house and miss my mom. my girlfriend makes me sickkk and drives me crazzzy and i just feel diffrent everyday. I can be perfectly fine and the...
    chrisolds chrisolds 18-21, M 2 Responses Dec 17, 2008

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    My Version Of What I Go Through..

    A wave so high that pulls you down so low somewhere in between you lose your hope You try and fight it but the rides too strong the wrong feels right and the right seems wrong It’s so intimidating; not knowing what comes next each time it feels new even though you’re...
    ShadowsAndLights ShadowsAndLights 18-21, F 3 Responses Aug 15, 2012

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    Constant Changing Emotions

    I've been bipolar now for about seven to eight years. The depressive part of it is slightly stronger than the mania, so for a very long time I was diagnosed with depression, until they realized the medication didn't work. Even after then, I spent many trips in psychiatric...
    Ajora Ajora 18-21 6 Responses May 11, 2009

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    Redemption Through Writing

    I parted ways with my lover from medical school a couple of months ago. Along with the stresses of hosting my father's annual stay (he visits me from overseas every year around this time), I dropped my classes after he left and withdrew from the world. In less dark periods, I...
    seejimsurf seejimsurf 36-40, M Apr 5, 2013

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    One of these days my ******* ***** of a mother

    is gonna push me too far and that'll be the end of me
    suicideDepression suicideDepression 13-15, M 1 Response Sep 7

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    Scared and feeling alone,

    dont know anyone else with bipolar. I hate this!
    astraphobicaussie astraphobicaussie 22-25, F 2 Responses Jan 18

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    Help

    Hello there! I have only signed up for this webpage so Someone Would read my Story And possibly help me. Thank you for taking your Time And Reading this. It Means a Lot. But lets Start. I am currently 14 years Old. I do Not live in the Country i was Born in. I left that Country...
    Millily Millily 13-15 2 Responses Jun 17, 2013

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    I finally got my answers to

    why i been feeling like this. I guess in a way i feel releived but in a way i feel bad because this is what it is. I dont really understand what bipolar really is and i pray that medication and therapt can make me educated and feel better atleast a little so i can love life...
    Tamona35 Tamona35 36-40, F 1 Response Jun 7

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    Am I Product Of My Environment?

    It's a simple question, really. I was raised in a very abusive, destructive home. I was bullied at school. I have never really felt as though I've "fit in" anywhere. I am brilliant. I have a very big, very beautiful brain. This much I know about myself. (To all the non...
    JesseLeeJames JesseLeeJames 46-50, M 1 Response Nov 10

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    So its been a few weeks

    now since i lowered my meds because they was making me feel lethargic and sleepy. Yesterday i felt really bad, i felt the affect it was having on me and for one i actually cried myself to sleep which i have not done in a while but i got through it and feel a lot better today. I...
    Gentleandlovingsoul Gentleandlovingsoul 36-40, F 1 Response Jun 29

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    I Miss My Mania

    I am a 50 y/o wife, mother of five and lawyer. I have been, so we now discover, bipolar since I was a child. While very young I could remember feeling a burst of creativity and courage and feeling near perfect when Mania came to visit. I was the fastest, smartest and funnest kid...
    BabzEsq24 BabzEsq24 46-50, F 7 Responses Nov 30, 2012

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    I have a WordPress blog in

    which I discuss my feelings. It may or may not help. I feel crazy. I know there is help out there, but most people haven't got a clue how I feel. I'm afraid of most people, for many reasons. I justify my feelings. I'm too negative. I can't choose to be happy. I am both...
    vajzenezjarr vajzenezjarr 26-30, F 1 Response May 14

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    I use to be depressed,

    I was on prozac for a while, it was when i was 15/16. I'm going to be 19. For a while this past year I've been doing great, I've been so happy doing things that make me happy. Now i'm a mess. Im blank. I literally cant do anything. I cant sleep i cant eat i cant do anything...
    amandallerena amandallerena 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 19

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    I closed down my account less

    than a week ago. I guess I was just trying to convince myself that I'm better. But I am not better. I hurt, all the time and there is nothing I can do about it. But in a way I am glad I removed my old account, I have major trust issues and I had put to much of me out there...
    lily449 lily449 18-21, F 17 hrs ago

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    I don't feel anything today.

    Not happy or sad. I just came down from an upswing. i dont know what to do. i could hurt myself to feel something, but who am i kidding? a minute of pain only to realize that when i put the blade down i dont feel anything again, and now i have this cut to hide so i dont end up...
    JustLittleMeee JustLittleMeee 16-17, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    Everyone thinks I'm insane

    when I tell them. But I'm pretty sane if I do say so myself. :3 My emotions are as wild as a zebra but yeah. I'm sane. :b I will hurt you or myself if I'm pretty wrecked up but other than that I'm pretty sane I guess.
    DezSheeran DezSheeran 13-15, F Jan 12

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    I am so depressed. I literally think about

    killing myself every single day of my life, but I'm too much of a coward to go through with it. I'm sick of living. I have no friends, and I never will. Everytime I think i find out, they abandon me and make me more suicidal than ever. I am so sick and tired of this waste of an...
    blipsycat1 blipsycat1 18-21, M 1 Response Jul 16

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    babyygirl35 babyygirl35 18-21, F Apr 19

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    Today....

    Today has been a day from hell. I havnt taken my meds in the last 3 days. Cannot sleep. It is 530 am. I took sleeping pills to sleep. Could not. Still awake. My thoughts are racing.my mood is ****. My best friend is in the hospital for anorexia because she might die due to her...
    sleeplesscookies sleeplesscookies 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 24, 2013

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    A letter to myself. I hate you.

    I thought you were better. 3 years of lying. Saying life was better. All the while, In denial. Stopping medication. "Clarity." Moving across the country. "Solidarity." Losing jobs... Wrecking relationships. Burning bridges. No doctor visits. New relationship... New requirements...
    Conflictedchicklet Conflictedchicklet 26-30, F 2 Responses Jan 21

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    Lamictal ! Just had a great meeting with my

    Doc. Was only diagnosed about 2 months ago with bipolar 2 and put on lamictal 50mg.. And she upped it to 100mgs. Hopeful and Prayerful for better results Anybody else on lamictal ??? Love to hear your experiences
    Brisco221 Brisco221 31-35, M Jul 24

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    My depression started early on,

    in elementary school when the bullying got bad and I had not even one person to turn to. I got diagnosed with severe depression at 13, the medication triggered manic episodes , last year I got diagnosed with bipolar type 2 which I got mood stabilisers on top of the anti...
    morticiamortal morticiamortal 16-17, F 1 Response Aug 18

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    I'm not sure that I'm actually bipolar.

    I think my hospitalization several months ago prompted the diagnosis. I guess they figured that they HAD to add a diagnosis after what I had done. I haven't taken my bipolar meds in a while. It's not cost or anything like that, they just taste really freaking bad. I haven't had...
    JaxyBaine JaxyBaine 26-30 1 Response Jan 19

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    An End to Destruction

    So it has been a long while since I have even visited this site. But something made me log in tonight. I thought maybe I would update every one on recent events in my life. For a while, things were not going good at all. I was always over drafted in the bank, due to...
    BeautifulNightmare BeautifulNightmare 22-25, F 1 Response Oct 11, 2008

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    I'm in school right now.

    ..I want to kill myself so bad...
    suicideDepression suicideDepression 13-15, M 1 Response Sep 30

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    They Never Tell You Why...

    Pretty much all my life, I have gone through one bad thing after another... I always had trouble with things, and I was always in trouble... It wasn't until I was in the 8th grade that anyone figured out that there was something seriously wrong with me... I was tested for ADD...
    BeautifulNightmare BeautifulNightmare 22-25, F 2 Responses May 3, 2008

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    I have severe bipolar depression

    which means I'll have my extreme happy or clam moments when I feel like nothing's wrong and then something little will happen that will make me extremely depressed. I been taking meds for my add since I was 14 but I had this disorder before that the meds just make it worse. When...
    DarkRun421 DarkRun421 16-17, F Jul 23

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    On a serious note, I suffer from bipolar

    disorder and depression. So I think this is why I'm single. Im not the same person all the time and i go a bit crazy sometimes. People don't know how to deal with me, so they don't. It doesn't bother me as much as you would think, being alone is fine with me. I just want to...
    onemorelie onemorelie 18-21, F 3 Responses Apr 11

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    And....nothing Changes.

    Stones hitting you smack in the face, as you carry a backpack full of bricks, and run from the mountain lion, no the herd of mountain lines. That's what it feels like every day. Nobody cares, they just watch and laugh, make jokes, and in their quiet place they thank god it wan't...
    vickkay vickkay 18-21 1 Response Aug 13, 2011

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    Related Experiences

    Is it just me, or do meds make you a little flat? The only emotion I still experience intensely is anxiety... I'm not depressed and I'm not manic... Which is great, but I feel like...
    SeaOfMonsters SeaOfMonsters 26-30, F 1 hr ago

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    I am afraid today not because I am depressed. But the pain is ready to touch the max limit.. I've bipolar. Was diagnosed when I was in my late teen. Though my mom's friend who...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses 6 days ago

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    My school wants me to talk at the mental health assembly about my story. I am not sure what to talk about. I remember when I first started showing symptoms. When I was 13 I was a...
    LandonS LandonS 16-17, M 5 Responses Dec 12

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    It's exhausting. I get manic in the morning and then agitated and angry in the afternoon and depressed at night....everyday. I have abilify to help me sleep cuz without it I would...
    danielle18 danielle18 18-21, F 3 Responses Dec 9

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    Does anyone see or hear things with bipolar. I see things that's not there and hear things. I started smelling cigaret smoke recently but I don't smoke. I hate smoke. But I noticed...
    Bipolarshon Bipolarshon 31-35, F 3 Responses 3 days ago